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1
00:00:01,477 --> 00:00:05,577
Kids, I'll never forget the first
time I told your mother I loved her.
2
00:00:05,707 --> 00:00:09,117
It was a rainy day in New
York.We just had a horrible lunch.
3
00:00:09,117 --> 00:00:11,097
The movie we wanted to see was sold out,
4
00:00:11,097 --> 00:00:13,427
and I just looked at her and said,
5
00:00:13,427 --> 00:00:14,957
"I love you."
6
00:00:14,957 --> 00:00:16,557
It was a big deal for me.
7
00:00:16,557 --> 00:00:19,127
I hadn't said that to a girl since...
8
00:00:19,127 --> 00:00:21,127
I love you, Robin.
9
00:00:21,737 --> 00:00:23,827
I'm serious.
10
00:00:24,477 --> 00:00:27,317
Do you remember why we
broke up in the first place?
11
00:00:27,387 --> 00:00:30,447
We asked each other,"Where do
you want to be in five years?"
12
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,067
And our answers were just too different.
13
00:00:33,387 --> 00:00:35,797
Well, it's five years later,
14
00:00:36,097 --> 00:00:37,947
and where are we?
15
00:00:38,267 --> 00:00:42,477
Standing on the roof where I
kissed you for the first time.
16
00:00:43,407 --> 00:00:46,367
I know this is a lot to process,
17
00:00:46,507 --> 00:00:48,687
so no pressure here.
18
00:00:48,687 --> 00:00:52,497
Just... what do you think?
19
00:00:52,767 --> 00:00:54,757
You know what? You're
exhausted, it's late.
20
00:00:54,757 --> 00:00:57,767
Let's just go to sleep.Well, good night.
21
00:01:00,347 --> 00:01:02,057
What the hell was that?
22
00:01:02,057 --> 00:01:03,547
Okay, I can fix this.
23
00:01:03,547 --> 00:01:07,867
I-I was just temporarily insane
because of my Lyme disease,
24
00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:11,327
which I got on a camping trip
25
00:01:11,327 --> 00:01:14,887
that I didn't tell her about because...
26
00:01:14,887 --> 00:01:17,887
I go camping in secret.
27
00:01:17,887 --> 00:01:19,737
Perfect.
28
00:01:19,787 --> 00:01:21,737
Or I could say, "I'm sorry,
we're great as friends.
29
00:01:21,737 --> 00:01:23,887
Let's just forget I ever said anything."
30
00:01:23,887 --> 00:01:26,617
Yeah, that's probably
better.Okay, here goes.
31
00:01:30,187 --> 00:01:33,307
I go camping in secret.
32
00:01:35,717 --> 00:01:39,247
-=http://bbs.sfile2012.com=-
-=http://ytet.org=- Proudly Presents
33
00:01:39,687 --> 00:01:43,767
-=http://bbs.sfile2012.com=-
-=http://ytet.org=- Sync: ÓÐÖ¾ÇàÄê
34
00:01:44,347 --> 00:01:48,437
How.I.Met.Your.Mother
S07E17
35
00:01:51,827 --> 00:01:54,507
Wow, Ted, I... wow, okay.
36
00:01:54,507 --> 00:01:57,737
- You got to give me a minute here.
- Yeah, of course.
37
00:01:57,737 --> 00:02:01,277
Okay, um, we need to t-talk about this.
38
00:02:01,277 --> 00:02:05,517
This time yesterday,I was in
Vermont engaged to another man.
39
00:02:05,517 --> 00:02:09,597
I mean, it's been 24
hours of emotional mayhem,
40
00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:11,817
and, and the day is still not over.
41
00:02:11,817 --> 00:02:13,877
I mean, I swear to God,if
there's any more surprises,
42
00:02:13,877 --> 00:02:16,117
I'm gonna hit someone!
43
00:02:16,667 --> 00:02:19,327
comrade¨Russian
44
00:02:19,327 --> 00:02:22,467
That means,"Hello, coworker."
45
00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:24,367
You ready for our trip to Mother Russia?
46
00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:27,007
Oh, yeah, Aunt Robin was
thrilled World Wide News
47
00:02:27,007 --> 00:02:29,647
asked her to go to Moscow
to cover Maslenitsa.
48
00:02:29,647 --> 00:02:33,907
She was less thrilled to discover Maslenitsa
is the city's annual butter festival.
49
00:02:33,907 --> 00:02:37,127
Even worse, she'd spend an entire
week with all those buttery Russians
50
00:02:37,127 --> 00:02:39,947
and her archenemy Patrice.
51
00:02:39,947 --> 00:02:44,507
our flight leaves at 9:00 p.m., not a.m.
52
00:02:44,507 --> 00:02:46,587
God... Patrice!
53
00:02:46,587 --> 00:02:51,227
But, Robin,the schedule says 9:00
a.m.and my ticket says 9:00 a.m.
54
00:02:51,227 --> 00:02:54,747
and all the e-mail reminders said 9:00
a.m.and our boss in the car downstairs said...
55
00:02:54,747 --> 00:02:56,207
Okay, Patrice, I get it!
56
00:02:56,207 --> 00:02:57,477
Oh, no!
57
00:02:57,477 --> 00:02:59,637
Pair of pants coming in hot!
58
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,537
- Noise-canceling headphones.
- Oh, I don't need 'em.
59
00:03:01,537 --> 00:03:03,517
It's a ten-hour flight and
your sitting next to Patrice.
60
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,097
Oh, God, where's my cough syrup?
61
00:03:06,097 --> 00:03:07,827
You're gonna make it.I'll
bring your bag down.
62
00:03:07,827 --> 00:03:09,667
Where are my shoes? Where are my shoes?!
63
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:10,857
Don't worry. It's fine.
64
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,877
- And look, about all this...
- Just go.
65
00:03:12,877 --> 00:03:14,787
- Good-bye.
- Bye.
66
00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:19,827
Why didn't I kiss her?
67
00:03:22,437 --> 00:03:25,187
We'll continue this when I get back.
68
00:03:33,777 --> 00:03:34,857
Hello.
69
00:03:34,857 --> 00:03:38,267
I know it's early,but can you meet
me at the bar right now, alone?
70
00:03:38,267 --> 00:03:39,837
I'm on my way.
71
00:03:39,837 --> 00:03:42,617
- I got to meet Ted at the bar.
- It's 7:00 a.m.
72
00:03:42,617 --> 00:03:46,347
Man,Ted really needs to
work on his boundaries.
73
00:03:46,347 --> 00:03:49,597
Shh, guys, seriously.
74
00:03:50,127 --> 00:03:51,777
Why are you in our bed?
75
00:03:51,777 --> 00:03:55,037
I took the drunk train
and got stuck out here.
76
00:03:55,037 --> 00:03:57,787
Oh, God, I am so hungover.
77
00:03:57,787 --> 00:04:02,017
Oh, God,Lily's not wearing a bra!
78
00:04:02,017 --> 00:04:04,297
Bye, baby.
79
00:04:05,857 --> 00:04:08,857
- Do you think...?
- Okay,I already know I don't want to hear this.
80
00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:10,897
Do you think that if we did it...
81
00:04:10,897 --> 00:04:12,527
Yeah, I was right. I
don't want to hear this.
82
00:04:12,527 --> 00:04:15,437
- ...and I did a really good job...
- Please leave.
83
00:04:15,437 --> 00:04:20,717
...that I could turn that into my baby?
84
00:04:20,787 --> 00:04:22,377
I think I'm gonna throw up.
85
00:04:22,377 --> 00:04:25,067
- Morning sickness?
- No.
86
00:04:27,277 --> 00:04:29,417
It's crazy, right? Are you shocked?
87
00:04:29,417 --> 00:04:32,217
No, I'm not shocked.
You're in love with Robin.
88
00:04:32,217 --> 00:04:35,377
Do you remember back at Christmas when
she was upset,you didn't even know why,
89
00:04:35,377 --> 00:04:38,157
and you spent eight hours setting
up Christmas lights in the apartment
90
00:04:38,157 --> 00:04:39,657
just to cheer her up.
91
00:04:39,657 --> 00:04:43,097
- That was a platonic friend thing.
- A platonic friend thing?Really?
92
00:04:43,097 --> 00:04:46,867
Ted,let me ask you a question.Would
you have done that for me?
93
00:04:47,027 --> 00:04:48,917
You probably would have.
You're such a good friend, Ted.
94
00:04:48,917 --> 00:04:50,857
You, too, buddy.
95
00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:52,747
I'm going into the city.
96
00:04:52,747 --> 00:04:56,757
Just, while I'm gone,don't go
snooping around in our stuff.
97
00:04:56,757 --> 00:04:59,977
I know you think we have a
sex tape hidden somewhere,
98
00:04:59,977 --> 00:05:03,427
so I'll save you the
trouble.We don't. Good-bye.
99
00:05:04,517 --> 00:05:06,807
Here's that moment from
Barney's perspective.
100
00:05:08,837 --> 00:05:11,767
We have a sex tape hidden somewhere.
101
00:05:15,437 --> 00:05:18,187
Challenge accepted.
102
00:05:18,687 --> 00:05:20,507
Robin again?
103
00:05:20,507 --> 00:05:22,987
Why does everyone
keep going after Robin?
104
00:05:22,987 --> 00:05:25,327
How come no one ever takes a run at me?
105
00:05:25,327 --> 00:05:26,827
Barney hits on you every day.
106
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:30,337
Yeah, but he just wants to
bang me.I want something real.
107
00:05:30,337 --> 00:05:32,337
I know, babe.
108
00:05:32,487 --> 00:05:33,787
Double A Cleaning.
109
00:05:33,787 --> 00:05:35,187
Consuela, it's Barney.
110
00:05:35,187 --> 00:05:37,077
I need you and the
girls for the afternoon.
111
00:05:37,077 --> 00:05:40,047
Of course, right away,Mr.
Barney.Are you at home now?
112
00:05:40,047 --> 00:05:42,727
No, I'm at a house on Long
Island. I'll text you the details.
113
00:05:42,727 --> 00:05:45,817
It's a big job. The
place has been ransacked.
114
00:05:45,817 --> 00:05:47,227
We'll get right on it.
115
00:05:47,227 --> 00:05:49,337
Thanks, Consuela, you're the best.
116
00:05:53,257 --> 00:05:56,347
Ted, I know you're ready to go
with this whole you-and-Robin thing,
117
00:05:56,347 --> 00:05:58,067
but is she ready to go?
118
00:05:58,067 --> 00:06:01,097
Is she ready to go? Um...
119
00:06:05,487 --> 00:06:09,847
we'll continue this...when I get back.
120
00:06:11,807 --> 00:06:13,597
So...
121
00:06:13,977 --> 00:06:15,947
Are you sure that it wasn't...?
122
00:06:19,387 --> 00:06:22,307
We'll continue this when I get back.
123
00:06:22,307 --> 00:06:24,307
Okay.
124
00:06:27,127 --> 00:06:29,077
What?! No!
125
00:06:29,077 --> 00:06:31,177
Damn it, Lily,why are
you rooting against me?
126
00:06:31,177 --> 00:06:33,177
- I'm not rooting against you.
- Yes, you are.
127
00:06:33,177 --> 00:06:34,567
No, I'm not.
128
00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:35,887
Yes, she was.
129
00:06:35,887 --> 00:06:38,317
You see, at that very moment...
130
00:06:43,687 --> 00:06:46,517
"Long-term bets"?
131
00:06:52,047 --> 00:06:56,547
Lily bets Marshall that
Barney will die by murder.
132
00:06:58,017 --> 00:07:03,307
Marshall bets Lily that Robin
will never return their hairdryer.
133
00:07:03,897 --> 00:07:06,917
Lily bets Marshall that Ted'll go bald.
134
00:07:06,917 --> 00:07:10,907
Marshall bets Lily that if Ted goes
bald, he'll totally pull it off.
135
00:07:10,907 --> 00:07:12,667
My God!
136
00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:15,127
They're placing bets on our lives.
137
00:07:15,127 --> 00:07:18,407
And I'm sorry, Ted cannot pull off bald.
138
00:07:18,407 --> 00:07:21,217
You know Ted. I'm right about this.
139
00:07:23,387 --> 00:07:26,897
Ted, I'm your best friend.
Why would I root against you?
140
00:07:26,897 --> 00:07:31,147
Lily bets Marshall that Ted
and Robin won't end up together.
141
00:07:31,147 --> 00:07:33,147
That's why.
142
00:07:36,317 --> 00:07:38,467
So, Lily was betting
against me and Robin.
143
00:07:38,467 --> 00:07:39,897
I just didn't know it.
144
00:07:39,897 --> 00:07:42,347
Okay, you want to make
it work with Robin?
145
00:07:42,347 --> 00:07:46,107
You need to stay on her
radar.Call her right now.
146
00:07:46,107 --> 00:07:47,907
She's on the plane. Her phone's off.
147
00:07:47,907 --> 00:07:49,317
Oh, my God!
148
00:07:49,317 --> 00:07:52,427
How adorable would it be
if when the plane lands,
149
00:07:52,427 --> 00:07:57,707
she turns on her phone and her
mailbox is full of messages from you?!
150
00:07:57,987 --> 00:08:00,837
-Ted, don't leave her any voice mails.
- Why not?
151
00:08:00,837 --> 00:08:03,507
- Because...
- Because you need to go to Russia.
152
00:08:03,507 --> 00:08:05,047
With love!
153
00:08:05,047 --> 00:08:08,527
Surprise her.Make
the--in no way creepy--
154
00:08:08,527 --> 00:08:13,577
grand romantic gesture that
we all know Robin loves.
155
00:08:15,297 --> 00:08:19,557
So I just walk up to her in
Red Square with a dozen roses?
156
00:08:19,557 --> 00:08:25,177
Or float down to her in my hot
air balloon with ten dozen roses!
157
00:08:25,177 --> 00:08:27,957
Yes, that's perfect!
158
00:08:27,957 --> 00:08:31,177
Not like this, Lily.Not like this.
159
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:34,917
If you'll excuse me, I've
got some sonnets to write.
160
00:08:34,917 --> 00:08:38,367
Stay put, Ted. You're
gonna want to hear this.
161
00:08:38,947 --> 00:08:41,207
Guys, what's this?
162
00:08:41,207 --> 00:08:43,207
And Marshall and Lily explained.
163
00:08:43,207 --> 00:08:45,527
It all started ten years earlier.
164
00:08:45,527 --> 00:08:49,187
They had been looking for a new
hobby they could do as a couple.
165
00:08:49,857 --> 00:08:53,457
I already missed the beginner's
lesson.Maybe I shouldn't even go.
166
00:08:53,457 --> 00:08:54,677
screw it.
167
00:08:54,677 --> 00:08:57,687
I've seen the Olympics.
I know what I'm doing.
168
00:08:57,687 --> 00:09:00,387
I'm going skiing, bitches!
169
00:09:13,057 --> 00:09:15,357
- He's gonna break his leg.
- He's not gonna break his leg.
170
00:09:15,357 --> 00:09:17,857
20 bucks says he does.
171
00:09:20,457 --> 00:09:23,077
"Lily bets Marshall that
172
00:09:23,077 --> 00:09:27,007
Ted will break his leg skiing."
173
00:09:31,247 --> 00:09:33,127
You would be amazed.
174
00:09:33,127 --> 00:09:36,587
People fall off ski lifts all the time.
175
00:09:36,587 --> 00:09:39,287
Well, I gotta hit the head.
176
00:09:44,077 --> 00:09:47,847
Well, he didn't break his leg.
177
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,397
Yeah, I gotta say that,
178
00:09:50,397 --> 00:09:53,217
making money off this
bet just makes me feel...
179
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:56,097
- More alive than you've felt in years?
- Yes!
180
00:09:56,097 --> 00:09:58,227
New hobby!
181
00:09:58,537 --> 00:10:01,927
We need a cash box, some
glitter and some glue!
182
00:10:02,287 --> 00:10:04,567
You've been betting on us?
183
00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:07,767
Like we're a couple of hobos
fighting over a sandwich
184
00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:10,067
in some psycho preppy kid's backyard?
185
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:12,787
No, this is just what
happens in marriage.
186
00:10:12,787 --> 00:10:15,227
You get bored.You run
out of things to do.
187
00:10:15,227 --> 00:10:16,767
We were making models.
188
00:10:16,767 --> 00:10:21,007
You single people are out there with
the drinking and the sleeping around...
189
00:10:21,007 --> 00:10:22,637
Model airplanes.
190
00:10:22,637 --> 00:10:26,187
The grinding and the bumping
and the hot sweaty bodies.
191
00:10:26,187 --> 00:10:28,867
...with little propellers that spin.
192
00:10:28,867 --> 00:10:30,617
Oh, this one looks interesting.
193
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:33,887
Lily, I thought you said you
wanted to.It was your idea.
194
00:10:33,887 --> 00:10:37,297
I starved myself for a
week to get camera-ready.
195
00:10:37,297 --> 00:10:39,017
You had a bear claw for breakfast.
196
00:10:39,017 --> 00:10:41,437
Yeah, a bear claw.
197
00:10:41,437 --> 00:10:43,647
I-I changed my mind.
198
00:10:43,647 --> 00:10:47,417
I-I just don't want
Barney to see us doing it.
199
00:10:47,417 --> 00:10:49,157
Barney is never gonna see this.
200
00:10:49,157 --> 00:10:51,367
Oh, come on. It's Barney.
201
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:54,277
Eventually,somehow he's gonna see it.
202
00:10:54,277 --> 00:10:55,797
Want to bet?
203
00:10:55,797 --> 00:10:59,927
So there really is a sex tape.
204
00:11:07,517 --> 00:11:12,177
Anyhoozles,just... long-term
bets,just a silly thing we do.
205
00:11:12,177 --> 00:11:15,647
What about you, Ted?Your
hair's looking good.
206
00:11:15,647 --> 00:11:20,437
"Lily bets Marshall that Ted
and Robin won't end up together."
207
00:11:22,907 --> 00:11:25,617
So now it's becoming clear why...
208
00:11:25,617 --> 00:11:28,267
you've been trying to
sabotage my future happiness.
209
00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:29,547
To win a bet.
210
00:11:29,547 --> 00:11:32,827
Come on, Ted.We made
that bet so long ago.
211
00:11:32,827 --> 00:11:36,687
And boy, it's been a real nail-biter.
212
00:11:37,167 --> 00:11:40,647
Ted and Stella got engaged.Pay up.
213
00:11:40,647 --> 00:11:41,887
Not yet.
214
00:11:41,887 --> 00:11:45,307
We are driving to the wedding.Pay up.
215
00:11:45,447 --> 00:11:47,197
Not yet.
216
00:11:48,527 --> 00:11:52,297
We are at the wedding.Pay up.
217
00:11:52,297 --> 00:11:53,987
Not yet.
218
00:11:56,327 --> 00:11:58,337
Damn it.
219
00:11:58,917 --> 00:12:00,597
I can't believe you guys!
220
00:12:00,597 --> 00:12:03,687
I got left at the alter,and all
you cared about was some stupid bet?
221
00:12:03,687 --> 00:12:06,187
I never stopped rooting
for you, but I...
222
00:12:06,187 --> 00:12:10,627
Ted, I'm not rooting against you.I just
don't think Robin's the girl you marry.
223
00:12:10,627 --> 00:12:13,307
That's why I made the
stupid bet to begin with.
224
00:12:13,307 --> 00:12:17,267
I mean, yes, it's five years later,and
you haven't settled down with anyone else,
225
00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:20,747
but you haven't settled
down with Robin, either.
226
00:12:20,747 --> 00:12:22,777
There must be a reason for that.
227
00:12:22,777 --> 00:12:25,497
What's standing in the way?
228
00:12:32,197 --> 00:12:34,087
God...
229
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,227
if you help me find this sex tape,
230
00:12:36,227 --> 00:12:38,907
I am going to make
some changes in my life.
231
00:12:38,907 --> 00:12:41,047
I am going to stop sleeping around,
232
00:12:41,047 --> 00:12:44,197
quit drinking so much,
no more shenanigans.
233
00:12:44,257 --> 00:12:48,417
I am going to devote my entire
life to doing good deeds,
234
00:12:48,417 --> 00:12:50,417
and praising your name.
235
00:12:50,417 --> 00:12:53,477
Is this what you're
looking for, Mr. Barney?
236
00:12:54,287 --> 00:12:57,067
Never mind, bro. Found it.
237
00:12:58,047 --> 00:12:59,907
I found it!
238
00:12:59,907 --> 00:13:03,147
Sweet glory hallelujah, I found it, Ted.
239
00:13:03,147 --> 00:13:05,687
You're the only idiot I
know who still owns a VCR,
240
00:13:05,687 --> 00:13:08,547
so you are the lucky winner of
the "Who gets to sit next to me
241
00:13:08,547 --> 00:13:11,847
and watch our best friends go bananas
all over each other"sweepstakes.
242
00:13:11,847 --> 00:13:14,657
To the outdated viewing device!
243
00:13:14,657 --> 00:13:19,087
And then I realized why Robin and I hadn't
gotten back together in the last five years.
244
00:13:19,087 --> 00:13:20,867
Oh, my God.
245
00:13:21,787 --> 00:13:23,957
Robin's in love with you.
246
00:13:28,877 --> 00:13:31,787
I can't believe I didn't see it before.
247
00:13:31,787 --> 00:13:33,787
Robin is in love with you.
248
00:13:33,787 --> 00:13:35,787
No, she's not. Trust me.
249
00:13:35,787 --> 00:13:37,497
Yes, she is.
250
00:13:37,497 --> 00:13:41,117
Something happened between you
guys.That's why you broke up with Nora.
251
00:13:41,117 --> 00:13:44,337
That night, I saw you in her room,
252
00:13:44,337 --> 00:13:46,757
there were rose petals, candles...
253
00:13:46,757 --> 00:13:48,457
You saw that?
254
00:13:48,457 --> 00:13:53,947
Well, then,maybe you also saw those rose
petals and candles going into a garbage bag.
255
00:13:53,947 --> 00:13:56,067
And then Barney told me everything.
256
00:13:56,297 --> 00:13:58,747
How he and Robin hooked up.
257
00:13:58,747 --> 00:14:02,007
How he broke up with
Nora to be with her.
258
00:14:02,087 --> 00:14:04,987
How he thought she would
do the same for him.
259
00:14:05,117 --> 00:14:07,597
How she broke his heart.
260
00:14:11,247 --> 00:14:13,217
She chose Kevin.
261
00:14:13,217 --> 00:14:15,507
It hurt, but...
262
00:14:15,507 --> 00:14:17,117
I guess they're in love.
263
00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:19,557
They broke up last night.
264
00:14:19,897 --> 00:14:21,377
Bummer.
265
00:14:21,377 --> 00:14:23,967
Anyway, let's make our own
bets about this sex tape.
266
00:14:23,967 --> 00:14:27,837
I've got Marshall with a surprise
piercing at five-to-one odds,
267
00:14:27,837 --> 00:14:30,537
Lily with a landing
strip, ten-to-one,
268
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,407
Marshall with a landing
strip, even money.
269
00:14:32,407 --> 00:14:34,657
I don't believe this.
270
00:14:34,657 --> 00:14:36,367
You were in love with Robin,
271
00:14:36,367 --> 00:14:38,757
you find out she's single,
and your reaction is "Bummer"?
272
00:14:38,757 --> 00:14:40,317
What do you want me to say, Ted?
273
00:14:40,317 --> 00:14:42,767
Whatever I thought was there,
274
00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:45,037
she thought differently.
275
00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:48,557
So... no, I don't care
that Robin is single again.
276
00:14:48,557 --> 00:14:51,847
So if Robin started dating
someone else, you wouldn't mind?
277
00:14:51,867 --> 00:14:52,947
Nope.
278
00:14:52,947 --> 00:14:56,377
Even if that somebody else was me?
279
00:14:57,267 --> 00:14:59,937
Even if that somebody else was you.
280
00:14:59,937 --> 00:15:01,937
- Really?
- Really.
281
00:15:01,937 --> 00:15:04,317
Hey, bros before hos, right?
282
00:15:04,317 --> 00:15:06,707
No matter how mad she made me,
283
00:15:06,707 --> 00:15:09,107
Robin's still my bro.
284
00:15:09,177 --> 00:15:13,757
And if, uh, you make her
happy,then that makes me happy.
285
00:15:14,057 --> 00:15:17,207
Barney, you've really
grown up, you know that?
286
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:18,617
Thanks.
287
00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:21,657
Now let's watch our two best
friends have sex on tape.
288
00:15:21,657 --> 00:15:23,987
I'll make the popcorn.
289
00:15:24,107 --> 00:15:26,747
- Don't watch that tape!
- Watch that tape!
290
00:15:26,747 --> 00:15:28,747
Well, sorry, I just
really want to win the bet.
291
00:15:28,747 --> 00:15:30,177
And here we go.
292
00:15:30,177 --> 00:15:32,057
O-okay. Okay, fine, Barney.
293
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,837
Watch our dirty little home
movie, but be forewarned,
294
00:15:34,837 --> 00:15:37,137
at about the one minute mark,
295
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:40,197
you're going to see me make this face.
296
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:44,117
Oh, God, that's the face you
made the day we rode motorcycles.
297
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,577
Yeah.Yeah. You really want to see that?
298
00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:48,397
A-and do you want to hear me go...
299
00:15:52,697 --> 00:15:54,977
It can't sound like that. It can't.
300
00:15:54,977 --> 00:15:56,727
I know that noise, I've
heard it through the walls.
301
00:15:56,727 --> 00:15:58,287
I thought the neighbors had a sick cat.
302
00:15:58,287 --> 00:16:01,747
Okay, but, Barney,just remember,you'll
also be seeing a lot of this:
303
00:16:01,747 --> 00:16:03,717
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
304
00:16:03,717 --> 00:16:05,797
It's this, but I'm not pregnant.
305
00:16:05,797 --> 00:16:09,147
My skin is loose, like an elephant.
306
00:16:09,147 --> 00:16:11,337
My boobs are perky and plump.
307
00:16:11,337 --> 00:16:13,337
I slobber like a confused old dog.
308
00:16:13,337 --> 00:16:16,827
- I slap my own ass.
- I slap my own ass!
309
00:16:20,857 --> 00:16:22,397
Barney...
310
00:16:22,487 --> 00:16:24,587
that was my VCR.
311
00:16:24,587 --> 00:16:26,097
Ted...
312
00:16:26,097 --> 00:16:28,957
it was a VCR.
313
00:16:31,137 --> 00:16:34,007
A week later, Robin's plane landed.
314
00:16:34,007 --> 00:16:37,367
And I was there to
meet her at the airport.
315
00:16:40,327 --> 00:16:42,597
She told me all about her trip.
316
00:16:42,597 --> 00:16:47,577
And then we got dinner at a restaurant
we hadn't been to in a long time.
317
00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:51,917
And by the end of the night,
one thing had become clear:
318
00:16:51,917 --> 00:16:53,837
It's not going to happen, is it?
319
00:16:55,387 --> 00:16:57,157
I'm sorry.
320
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:02,007
- It's because of Barney.
- What?
321
00:17:02,387 --> 00:17:05,007
No.Barney and I... we...
322
00:17:05,007 --> 00:17:08,157
No. No. It's just...
323
00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:11,857
You know, things have
just been so crazy lately.
324
00:17:11,857 --> 00:17:15,667
Everything in my life is... unstable.
325
00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:20,117
I mean, you're one of the few
things that I can count on.
326
00:17:20,257 --> 00:17:24,157
And... I really don't
want to mess that up.
327
00:17:25,417 --> 00:17:28,257
We-we... we still have our deal,right?
328
00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:31,907
If we're both still...
single when we're 40?
329
00:17:31,907 --> 00:17:34,267
Yeah. Yeah.
330
00:17:36,477 --> 00:17:41,127
No. Look... I'm sorry.I-I
can't do that anymore.
331
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,227
As long as the door is
even a little bit open,
332
00:17:43,227 --> 00:17:45,797
I have this feeling that I'll just be...
333
00:17:45,797 --> 00:17:50,057
waiting around to see if I win
the lottery when you turn 40.
334
00:17:50,257 --> 00:17:52,897
I think you know how
you feel about me now,
335
00:17:52,897 --> 00:17:57,397
and... I don't think
time's going to change that.
336
00:17:57,787 --> 00:17:59,907
Just tell me.
337
00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:03,067
Do you love me?
338
00:18:08,727 --> 00:18:10,837
No.
339
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:20,067
I'm sorry.
340
00:18:20,197 --> 00:18:21,757
We're great as friends.
341
00:18:21,757 --> 00:18:25,407
Let's just...Let's just
forget I ever said anything.
342
00:18:31,627 --> 00:18:33,537
Bar. Alone. Now.
343
00:18:33,537 --> 00:18:35,137
It's just a bump in the road.
344
00:18:35,137 --> 00:18:38,427
You guys are meant to be
together.You can't give up.
345
00:18:38,427 --> 00:18:40,557
- i-it can still
happen. - No. Marshall...
346
00:18:40,557 --> 00:18:43,647
What about the hot air balloon
thing, with the ten dozen roses?
347
00:18:43,647 --> 00:18:45,707
- And how's the sonnet coming, buddy?
- Dude.
348
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:48,597
You bet on the wrong horse. Let it go.
349
00:18:48,597 --> 00:18:52,367
Believe it or not,I'm
happy about this. I'm...
350
00:18:52,407 --> 00:18:54,727
I can finally move on.
351
00:18:54,837 --> 00:18:58,507
This is a good thing.Really.
352
00:19:04,697 --> 00:19:06,577
- Hey, Robin.
- Oh, hey.
353
00:19:06,577 --> 00:19:08,937
Hey. look, before I
forget,here's Lily's hairdryer.
354
00:19:08,937 --> 00:19:11,547
I borrowed it, like,
a million years ago.
355
00:19:11,547 --> 00:19:13,847
Yeah, you can keep that.
356
00:19:13,847 --> 00:19:16,107
Hey, listen,Ted told me
what happened with you guys,
357
00:19:16,107 --> 00:19:18,107
and he says that he's at peace with it.
358
00:19:18,107 --> 00:19:19,827
Oh, really?
359
00:19:19,827 --> 00:19:21,727
That's good.
360
00:19:22,527 --> 00:19:24,607
He's lying, Robin.
361
00:19:24,607 --> 00:19:27,297
He's trying to be strong,
but it's killing him,
362
00:19:27,297 --> 00:19:29,977
and so, as his best friend,
363
00:19:30,197 --> 00:19:32,007
I have to say something that...
364
00:19:32,007 --> 00:19:35,427
he loves you just way too much to say.
365
00:19:35,927 --> 00:19:38,297
You gotta move out.
366
00:19:39,957 --> 00:19:41,817
I know.
367
00:20:21,447 --> 00:20:23,037
Here's the funny thing:
368
00:20:23,037 --> 00:20:26,807
In my own crazy way,
I was kind of happy.
369
00:20:26,967 --> 00:20:29,677
For the first time in years,there
was no little part of me
370
00:20:29,677 --> 00:20:32,787
clinging to the dream
of being with Robin.
371
00:20:32,787 --> 00:20:34,787
Which meant,for the first time in years,
372
00:20:34,787 --> 00:20:36,847
the world was wide open.
373
00:20:36,847 --> 00:20:38,407
Because, kids...
374
00:20:38,407 --> 00:20:41,977
when a door closes, well...
375
00:20:42,077 --> 00:20:44,657
...you know the rest.
376
00:20:56,107 --> 00:20:58,407
For Ted's sake, I hate to say this,
377
00:20:58,407 --> 00:21:01,437
but... pay up.
378
00:21:03,527 --> 00:21:05,657
Not yet.
379
00:21:08,857 --> 00:21:12,197
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380
00:21:12,767 --> 00:21:16,007
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381
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How.I.Met.Your.Mother
S07E17
27622
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