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1
00:00:01,701 --> 00:00:03,235
Dad, we need to talk.
2
00:00:03,236 --> 00:00:05,804
- Is it about the bees?
- Bees?
3
00:00:05,805 --> 00:00:08,574
We're throwing
a housewarming party in two weeks.
4
00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:10,743
- Oh.
- It's gonna be friends, neighbors.
5
00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:12,978
- Did he say- Did he say bees?
- Yeah.
6
00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:16,482
Anyway, Marshall's been working
very long hours lately...
7
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:20,319
so I have been planning this whole party
by myself, and everything's in place-
8
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,054
the food, the wine.
9
00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:24,723
I even found a rare Gouda on the lnternet.
10
00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:26,825
- Ah.
- Getting back to these bees.
11
00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:29,895
Bottom line-
this party is very important to me.
12
00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:33,499
So I can only assume-
and I say this with love-
13
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,968
you're gonna ruin it.
14
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:38,504
Lily, I promise I won't ruin your party.
15
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:41,807
I'll be charming and convivial.
A regular Burt Reynolds.
16
00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:44,910
- You have absolutely nothing to worry-
- Tell us about the bees!
17
00:00:44,911 --> 00:00:47,146
Well, all right, since you asked.
18
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:51,684
I'm starting up a business cultivating
all-organic, artisanal honey.
19
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,953
That's right. I'm a job creator.
20
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:56,021
- Oh.
- So this party-
21
00:00:56,022 --> 00:01:01,427
No, Lily, wait. Um, if you don't mind,
I have one follow-up.
22
00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,295
Where are you doing this exactly?
23
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:07,846
Downstairs.
There's 10,000 bees in the basement.
24
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:10,601
## [Upbeat Pop]
25
00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:14,672
## [Man Vocalizing]
26
00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:21,113
## [Ends]
27
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:23,549
- Why would you even say that?
That's the most ridic-
- [Shouting]
28
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,317
[Together]
Happy housewarming!
29
00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:27,219
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
30
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:30,322
Robin here spent all day
learning how to make kugel.
31
00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:32,658
Couldn't figure it out.
This is from Zabar's.
32
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:36,528
- Can we heat it up in your oven?
- Faster than heating it up in the refrigerator.
33
00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:38,697
- I've had a few cocktails.
- [Ted] Yeah.
34
00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:41,360
- I've got it.
- Take that.
35
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:44,269
[Ted Narrating] Kids, some day
you're gonna throw a party...
36
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:47,840
and you might find yourself worrying
that something's gonna go wrong.
37
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,241
Well, don 't.
38
00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:53,145
What you should worry about
is everything going wrong.
39
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:57,016
And what's really scary
is how quickly that can happen.
40
00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:59,451
At Lily and Marshall's housewarming party,
for instance-
41
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,921
- [Beeping]
- it only took five minutes.
42
00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:05,357
Now, a lot happened in those five minutes.
43
00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:07,993
You know what?
I'm gonna take this room by room.
44
00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:10,829
- [Beeps]
- We'll start in the living room.
45
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:13,640
## ["Flight of the Bumblebee "]
46
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,701
Oh, no. That's not what you want.
47
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,136
- What?
- Oh, nothing.
48
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,971
So you think this is going pretty well?
49
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,539
Baby, are you kidding?
50
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:22,574
You single-handedly pulled off
the party of the year.
51
00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:25,244
Oh, stop it. I used both hands.
52
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,712
[Chuckles]
So what can I do to help?
53
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:29,748
Honey, this is your first night off
in however long.
54
00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:32,584
You just relax and keep
knocking back those cocktails.
55
00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:34,019
[Laughs]
Mr. Cootes.
56
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,254
Hey, isn't it nice...
57
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,522
to finally have a night off?
58
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:38,924
It is. But tonight is not that night.
59
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:41,360
Uh, we're going back to the office
in 45 minutes.
60
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:43,429
But, sir, this is our housewarming party.
61
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,265
You know, Mother Earth is also having...
62
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:48,500
a housewarming party too.
63
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:52,371
Only hers ends in humankind
at the bottom of a rising ocean...
64
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:56,008
passing through
the digestive tract of a sting ray.
65
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,844
By the way, it's a lovely home.
66
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,080
Mr. Cootes, I know you're a vegan...
67
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:05,384
so I got some vegan spring rolls
for you over there.
68
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,885
Oh, nummies!
69
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,155
You're going back to work?
70
00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:13,025
Geez, Marshall, you are as busy as a-
71
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:16,095
Oh, gosh. What are you as busy as?
72
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,796
Please don't talk about the bees.
73
00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:21,433
I was gonna say Nicolas Cage.
That guy is in everything.
74
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:24,154
Let's just put on some music.
75
00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:29,541
- ## [Rock]
- I'll bring out the Gouda.
76
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,743
We'll open a couple bottles of wine...
77
00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:33,312
that are in the basement.
78
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:35,414
All right. I'll get my beekeeper's suit.
79
00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:37,116
You should be happy about the bees.
80
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,517
They're keeping the mice at bay.
81
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:39,685
We have mice?
82
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,386
Not with all these bees flying around,
we don't.
83
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,887
You're welcome.
84
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:49,268
Ted, baby Gouda's coming out.
Look alive.
85
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,967
- Are you a vegan?
- What?
86
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,664
- Ooh-whee!
- Kitchen. Now!
87
00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,738
What?
88
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:02,474
I can't believe that he's making us
go to work tonight.
89
00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:06,036
Are... you... a... vegan?
90
00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:08,113
Um, no.
91
00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:12,651
Uh-huh. And when you were shoveling
the spring rolls down your gullet...
92
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:16,155
did you happen to notice a little sign
next to the plate marked "Vegan"?
93
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,789
I- I think there's been some mistake.
94
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:20,926
You could've had anything on that table!
95
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,427
Anything at all!
96
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,230
Mini pizzas.
97
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:27,399
Bacon-wrapped figs. Pigs in blankets.
98
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,635
There was even talk of an inbound Gouda.
99
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,370
But no, no.
100
00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:34,773
You had to have the one thing that someone
with my dietary preferences can eat!
101
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,075
Look, I didn't eat the spring rolls.
102
00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:38,610
Liar!
103
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:43,061
Your breath reeks
of shredded carrots and deceit!
104
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:48,287
Okay, okay. Maybe I did eat
your precious spring rolls.
105
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:52,816
- Ohh.
- What are you gonna do about it, hippie?
106
00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:56,828
- [Woman Screams]
- It's fine. Everything's fine.
107
00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:59,627
Young man-
[Deep Breath]
108
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:02,201
are you suggesting fisticuffs?
109
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:05,370
- As in with our fists?
- And feet.
110
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:07,172
I'm a kicker.
111
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:08,574
Well, well.
112
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:12,678
Looks like I just started
eating white meat again.
113
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:17,082
I will bite and scratch you
like a wolverine.
114
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,518
May I warn you...
115
00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:21,887
I have been in a fight before.
116
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:24,388
So have l, sort of.
117
00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:27,593
Oh, God.
118
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:29,328
Oh, Mr. Cootes?
119
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:33,098
Hi. Did you see
that we had hummus and veggies?
120
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:35,667
- There's hummus and veggies?
- Over there.
121
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,270
Hey, I'm not gonna let that guy
push me around!
122
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,739
I believe it was Sun Tzu who wrote...
123
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:42,608
"Never give up. Never surrender."
124
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,042
- Shut up, Ted.
- Okay.
125
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:47,533
For God's sake, Lily. You're pregnant.
126
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:53,068
[Grunts]
For God's sake, Ted. Lily's pregnant.
127
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,921
[Grunts]
128
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:57,356
Oh, man.
129
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,224
Sorry about that.
130
00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:00,892
I don't need this right now, Ted.
131
00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:02,794
I shouldn't do this.
132
00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:04,129
- I shouldn't do this.
- What?
133
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:07,366
This is a bad idea. This is a bad idea.
134
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,135
- What is?
- I should just go. I should just go!
135
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:12,771
Okay, okay.
Just tell me what is going on.
136
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:15,297
I love my penis, Robin.
137
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,643
Barney, you promised!
138
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:20,012
I do! I love it!
139
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,447
If I could kiss it, I would!
140
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:25,117
I'd be lying if I told you I hadn't tried.
141
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,252
I'm not comfortable
with this conversation.
142
00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:30,689
Oh, come on, Robin!
It's my penis we're talking about.
143
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,791
You've seen her. She's magnificent!
144
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,294
- "She"?
- Every penis is a girl, Robin.
145
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,029
Everyone knows that.
146
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:41,262
Like ships and lake monsters.
147
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,168
And Gouda!
148
00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:46,338
- She's a "beaut-a."
- Ooh, Gouda.
149
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,607
Well, I'll be back.
150
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:51,372
Most of me anyway.
151
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,712
Don't eat that. Whoops.
152
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:57,482
- Oh! It's ruined!
- It's not ruined. Ten-second rule.
153
00:06:57,483 --> 00:07:00,319
Eight, nine, 10. And it's ruined.
154
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,820
This whole party's ruined.
155
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:05,290
I got a basement full of bees...
156
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,659
and Ted almost got into a fight
with Mr. Cootes.
157
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:10,529
Lily, look around.
Everyone's having an amazing time.
158
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:12,097
It's a great party.
159
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:16,001
- [Timer Beeping]
- Okay. Maybe it's not a total disaster.
160
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:18,596
[Screaming]
161
00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:20,772
[Man]# I'm burning, I'm burning
I'm burning for you#
162
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:23,273
What the hell was that?
163
00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:29,381
[Screaming]
164
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,683
[Ted Narrating]
So that's what happened in the living room.
165
00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,085
[Beeps]
166
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,554
Now I'm gonna tell you
what happened in the dining room.
167
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,155
## ["Flight of the Bumblebee"]
168
00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:40,246
Oh, no. That's not what you want.
169
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,628
Man, I can't believe these are vegan!
170
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:47,165
- I've had like 20 of 'em!
- I should get the name of this caterer.
171
00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:49,801
It's my kitten's bat mitzvah next week.
172
00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,903
She's finally becoming a cat.
173
00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:56,273
Oh, God, you are crazy... about cats.
174
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:59,745
Cats are so honest and real
with their affections.
175
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:02,781
Ever since my divorce,
it's been one liar after another.
176
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:06,685
That's why it's so refreshing
to meet someone honest like you...
177
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:09,020
Special Agent Gary Powers.
178
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:14,051
Listen, I think we can agree...
there's something here.
179
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,161
Something big...
180
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,928
that looks and probably feels real.
181
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:24,002
Maybe we can go back to your place?
182
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:27,239
I can't ask you to delay
intercepting those asteroids.
183
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,608
I do need to intercept those asteroids.
184
00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:32,344
- I think we need to have sex right now.
- Y-
185
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,547
Meet me in the upstairs guest bedroom
in two minutes.
186
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:38,449
- [Chuckles]
- [Laughing]
187
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,819
I'm just looking for the vegan spring rolls.
188
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,054
- Last one. Sorry.
- Two minutes.
189
00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:45,190
- Mmm.
- How can they all be gone?
190
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,225
- The party just started.
- I know, right?
191
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:49,946
Let's just put on some music.
192
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:53,532
- ## [Rock]
- I'll bring out the Gouda.
193
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,302
We'll open a couple bottles of wine...
that are in the basement.
194
00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:59,938
Some jerk was just here,
and he was all, like...
195
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:02,774
"l can't believe these are vegan!
I've had like 20 of 'em!"
196
00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:05,944
Point me into the direction
of this scoundrel.
197
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:08,641
Um, it was that guy.
198
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:12,524
Ted, baby Gouda's coming out.
Look alive.
199
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:16,469
Lily, these spring rolls? Ooh-whee!
200
00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:19,022
Kitchen. Now.
201
00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:22,060
I can't believe that he's
making us go to work tonight.
202
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:26,097
It's time somebody took him aside and told
him this is not how you treat your staff.
203
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:29,868
- Well, I'm sort of busy
with the party right now.
- Fine. I'll do it myself.
204
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:33,138
But he's gonna scream at me, and you know
that I can't stand up to screaming.
205
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:37,739
- Just go talk to him!
- I should go talk to him.
206
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:41,680
- Barney.
- Oh, Lily. Ted ate all the spring rolls.
207
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:44,483
You could've had anything on that table!
208
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:47,612
Mini pizzas. Bacon-wrapped figs.
209
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:51,490
Pigs in blankets.
There was even talk of an inbound Gouda.
210
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:53,325
Robin! Okay, listen. I need your help.
211
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,627
I'm about to get in a screaming match
with my boss...
212
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:58,697
and I'm not good at being screamed at,
so I need you to warm me up.
213
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:01,099
- How?
- I want you to scream at me.
214
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:04,002
You know, like you do to strangers
on the street at the slightest provocation.
215
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:06,004
- [Scoffs] I don't do that.
- Come on!
216
00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:08,940
Lay some of that classic Scherbatsky
mean son of a bitch on me.
217
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:11,142
Treat me like I'm a Girl Scout
trying to sell you cookies.
218
00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:14,379
Four dollars a box and you're out
of Thin Mints? You green little-
219
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,147
I don't do that.
220
00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:18,149
Come on! Scream at me.
221
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:19,751
- [Woman Screams]
- Like that.
222
00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:21,620
It's fine. Everything's fine.
223
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:25,524
Marshall, there is plenty of stuff
I don't get mad about.
224
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:28,093
[Chuckles] Like the fact that you're
serving pigs in blankets...
225
00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:30,028
without hot mustard.
226
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:33,031
I'm not the type of person
to be driven crazy by a host...
227
00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:35,534
who refuses to provide
delicious hot mustard...
228
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,135
in which to dip my pigs in blankets!
229
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,638
I'm the type of girl who-
[Deep Breath] keeps her cool.
230
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,139
Who keeps her cool.
231
00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:45,343
- [Exhales]
- Hey, oh. Baby, are you okay?
232
00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:47,512
Of course. Oh, this party is great.
233
00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:50,778
I am handling this. Oh, God.
234
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,385
[Murmurs]
235
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,420
No.
236
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:59,391
Hummus and veggies.
I'm looking for hummus and veggies.
237
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,160
Can I talk to you
about something very dear to me?
238
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:04,129
Promise me this isn't about your penis.
239
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:06,898
I promise it isn't about my penis.
240
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:09,399
I'm sorry, dude.
241
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:15,630
Excuse me, sir.
Could I talk to you in the kitchen?
242
00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:22,080
- Sorry about that.
- I don't need this right now, Ted.
243
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:24,516
I swear, if there is one more crisis-
244
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,318
Well, the bees escaped their enclosure...
245
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,820
but no reason to "bee" concerned.
246
00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:31,122
[Chuckling]
247
00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:32,958
No, there is. We're in big trouble.
248
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:36,861
- What is that smell?
- Oh, I doused my suit with kerosene.
249
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,597
All beekeepers do this.
250
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:41,566
- Dad, just take off the suit right now.
- All right, fine.
251
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:45,470
Every 30 seconds, there's another crisis
that needs to be dealt with...
252
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:47,272
and I have to deal with it.
253
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:48,974
This is-
254
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:51,710
Oh, God.
This is parenthood, isn't it?
255
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,779
- So they say.
- Okay, it's official.
256
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,781
I thought I could do it, but I can't.
257
00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:58,783
No. Marshall's always at work.
258
00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,819
He's gotta go back tonight,
and I don't know...
259
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:04,155
if I can handle a life
that's just one crisis after another.
260
00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:06,391
Lily, listen to me.
I'm gonna give you a little piece of-
261
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,793
- Gouda!
- God.
262
00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:11,294
- Crisis?
- Crisis.
263
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,132
Don't eat that. Whoops.
264
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,735
- Gouda's out, Ted. Don't sleep on the Gouda.
- Wouldn't dream of it.
265
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:20,038
- So Lily told me you have
to go back to work tonight?
- I don't have to go to work.
266
00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:21,740
Mr. Cootes and I came to an understanding.
267
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,308
But, hey, what's going on with Robin?
268
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:26,144
I called her a mean son of a bitch,
and she took it all weird.
269
00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:27,746
- She did?
- Yeah.
270
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,481
Crazy, right?
271
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,317
Hey, buddy. Best housewarming party ever.
272
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,686
Everybody's abuzz.
273
00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:37,155
- "Abuzz."
- Oh, good one, Mickey.
274
00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:40,225
- Hey, you're right. Great party.
- [Timer Beeping]
275
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:44,026
[Screaming]
276
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,690
# I'm burning for you#
277
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,500
What the hell was that?
278
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,041
[Screaming]
279
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:58,209
[Ted Narrating] And that's
what happened in the dining room.
280
00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,844
[Beeps]
281
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,147
Now I'm gonna tell you
what happened in the kitchen.
282
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:03,715
## ["Flight of the Bumblebee"]
283
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:06,806
Oh, no. That's not what you want.
284
00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:10,021
Man, I can't believe these are vegan.
285
00:13:10,022 --> 00:13:11,856
- Back to our fight?
- Back to our fight.
286
00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:14,159
I cannot believe you screamed
at that woman at Zabar's.
287
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,995
She was trying to cut in line!
She was gonna get the last kugel.
288
00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:20,398
She was 90 years old.
It was probably gonna be her last kugel.
289
00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:23,468
Sometimes in life, you have to be
assertive and stand up for yourself.
290
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,304
- You called her a whore.
- Who wears that much makeup?
291
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:29,240
- Old ladies!
- Who take money for sex. Exactly.
292
00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:31,409
Look, I'm sorry.
293
00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:34,079
If I would've left things
in your dainty, lily-white...
294
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,347
"never ripped an old lady's wig off"
hands...
295
00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:38,416
we would be kugel-free right now.
296
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:40,085
Oh, so what- I'm too nice?
297
00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:41,820
You never stand up for yourself.
298
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,189
Remember that sixth grader
who kept stealing your lunch?
299
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,958
High school was a tough time for me, okay?
300
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,693
And that-that girl was muscular!
301
00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:50,628
Forearms like Popeye!
302
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:52,697
- How-How do you even know about that?
- Marshall told me.
303
00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:55,100
He also said that
you had your mom stop making...
304
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:56,901
peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches...
305
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:58,837
because of that girl's nut allergy.
306
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,739
I didn't wanna add to her health problems.
307
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:03,608
She was already in a wheelchair.
308
00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:06,377
Okay, so what?
I would rather be nice than be like you...
309
00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:09,514
always getting in fights about stuff
that's not even worth fighting about.
310
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,082
I disagree.
311
00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:13,284
It's like Sun Tzu wrote in The Art of War-
312
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:15,353
"Never give up. Never surrender."
313
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:18,323
- That was Tim Allen in Galaxy Quest.
- Whatever, dude.
314
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:22,360
Your problem is, anytime you're faced with
the least bit of confrontation, you run away.
315
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:25,431
Oh, I run away from confrontation?
316
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:32,237
Ted, baby Gouda's coming out.
Look alive.
317
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:34,606
- [Barney] Ooh-whee!
- Whoops!
318
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:38,810
Son of a-
I'm sorry. Maybe that was my fault.
319
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:41,412
Ya think? You're right in my snack track.
320
00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:43,882
Hey, nice beekeeper suit.
321
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,918
Do you know that, uh,
most bees are left-handed?
322
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:49,420
Do you know that bees hate
the smell of kerosene?
323
00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:51,089
I knew that. Geez, what do you think?
324
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:52,824
This is my first day as a beekeeper?
325
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:55,726
- [Zipper Zips]
- Nice. Oh.
326
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:58,296
Is that true about bees and kerosene?
327
00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:00,732
I don't know.
328
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,300
- Barney.
- Oh, Lily.
329
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,569
Ted ate all the spring rolls.
330
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,338
Barney, that woman you were talking to-
our neighbor Geraldine.
331
00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:10,141
Some guy slept with her
and didn't call her...
332
00:15:10,142 --> 00:15:14,879
so she hunted him down
and cut off a certain part of his anatomy...
333
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,781
with a cheese knife.
334
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:20,785
- [Exhales]
- So whatever you do, don't sleep with her.
335
00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:22,353
It's funny.
336
00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:26,357
She is, uh, waiting for me
in the guest bedroom right now.
337
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:28,326
Oh, God. Oh, God!
338
00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:30,795
That was the idea, but now forget it!
339
00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:35,166
Barney, this is a disaster.
I swear, if there is one- [Gasps]
340
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:38,102
It's fine. Everything's fine.
Hey, 10-second rule, right?
341
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,104
[Lily Screams]
342
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,540
It's fine. Everything's fine.
343
00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:45,203
Shoo. Shoo. Shoo!
344
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,712
I know you're pregnant,
but you need a glass of wine.
345
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:49,514
I got that cheese off the lnternet.
346
00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:51,082
I know you got it off the lnternet.
347
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:52,650
Why does that make it impressive?
348
00:15:52,651 --> 00:15:54,285
You know what else
you can find on the lnternet?
349
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:55,854
Zoo animals masturbating.
350
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:58,389
There's one of a walrus.
[Chuckling]
351
00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:00,890
He's-
352
00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:05,161
Uh- Uh-
353
00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:07,864
[Sighs]
354
00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:09,968
[Gasps, Hisses]
355
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,767
[Panting]
356
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:15,206
No.
357
00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:18,267
- [Bees Buzzing]
- [Exhales]
358
00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:22,944
Excuse me, sir.
Can I talk to you in the kitchen?
359
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,586
[Clears Throat]
360
00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:32,423
Mr. Cootes,
I am not going back to work tonight.
361
00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:34,859
Oh, no, she didn't just say that!
362
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,428
- [Laughing]
- Mickey, can we just have a minute?
363
00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:39,929
Oh, yeah, sure.
364
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:44,869
Marshall, look,
I know when you started with this firm...
365
00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:46,871
it was all fun and games.
366
00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:50,842
The office chair races
were particularly spirited...
367
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:54,279
until, of course,
Gail went down the stairs.
368
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:58,116
But for one brief moment,
boy, did she fly.
369
00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:02,144
[Sighs]
I'm not here. I'm not here.
370
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,756
Mr. Cootes,
you are working yourself to death.
371
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:09,460
Just- Cut loose a little.
Have a beer. Find a hobby.
372
00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:11,262
Look, son, it's very simple.
373
00:17:11,263 --> 00:17:15,400
Um, Mother Earth doesn't get a night off.
Neither do you.
374
00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:17,901
Well, then I quit.
375
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:23,007
And I don't know if I can handle a life...
376
00:17:23,008 --> 00:17:25,109
that's just one crisis after another.
377
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:27,312
Lily, listen to me.
I'm gonna give you a little piece of-
378
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:28,746
Gouda!
379
00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:31,983
Maybe he's right. Maybe I do need a hobby.
380
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:34,319
Well, hey, how about beekeeping?
381
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,621
Me? No. I don't know
the first thing about bees.
382
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:40,402
Do you wanna know a secret? Neither do l.
383
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,594
It's not a secret.
384
00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:46,164
- Let me try this thing on.
- Let me give you some privacy.
385
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:49,100
Oh, thank you. Okay.
386
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:52,437
Hey, buddy. Best housewarming party ever.
387
00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:54,238
Everybody's abuzz.
388
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,607
- [Bees Buzzing]
- [Alarm Beeping]
389
00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:59,277
Maybe it's not a total disaster.
390
00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:01,346
Great party.
391
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:05,477
[Gasps, Screaming]
392
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:09,354
# I'm burning, I'm burning
I'm burning for you #
393
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,855
[Screaming Continues]
394
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:15,890
Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! Mr. Cootes!
395
00:18:15,961 --> 00:18:18,096
Mr. Cootes, are you okay?
396
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,622
That was amazing!
397
00:18:20,699 --> 00:18:22,333
Did you see me?
398
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:25,336
I flew through the air like a human fireball
and didn't get a scratch!
399
00:18:25,337 --> 00:18:28,039
Eat your heart out, Gail!
[Laughs]
400
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,540
God, I feel so alive!
401
00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:32,210
I want to drink a beer.
402
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:34,879
Oh, yeah. Oh, okay.
One beer coming right up.
403
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,576
Oh, and, uh, Marshall?
404
00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:41,285
I- I think we'll take
the night off tonight, okay?
405
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,987
Sounds good. Yeah.
406
00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:45,488
But I'll see you Monday?
407
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:50,052
- Of course.
- [Sighs]
408
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,731
You know, Robin,
I've been thinking about it.
409
00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:57,568
I guess it's kinda nice
you're such a bad ass.
410
00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:01,319
It's pretty bad ass you're so nice, Ted.
411
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:05,817
Was I supposed to close the basement door?
412
00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:09,045
[Bees Buzzing]
413
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:20,591
God, this feels so right!
414
00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:22,560
- We're so great together.
- Well-
415
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,862
I wanna spend every minute
of every day with you.
416
00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:27,031
I never wanna let you
out of my sight for one second.
417
00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:29,467
Not one second!
Not one second! I don't! Ah!
418
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:33,037
God! My last lover was not like this.
He was the worst.
419
00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:36,240
Do you know,
he didn't even come to my cat's bris?
420
00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:39,877
I mean, what?
Well, we showed him. Yes, we did.
421
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:43,881
Let's just say,
the punishment fit the crime.
422
00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:46,350
I can't wait to tell everybody
that we're boyfriend and girlfriend!
423
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,685
- [Bees Buzzing]
- Let's do it tonight!
424
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:50,254
No, it's Lily and Marshall's party.
We'll wait.
425
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:53,524
We can do it at Mittens
and Mr. Pepper's wedding!
426
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,593
- Right? Or maybe something-
- [Buzzing]
427
00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:58,094
[Barney Screaming]
31319
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