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There is an ancient legend,
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00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:29,190
some say over
a thousand years old,
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00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:32,626
about a foreign child,
an orphan,
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00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:36,063
who was lost
and without direction.
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00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:45,105
The legend says
his feet will fly,
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00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:50,144
and he will overcome many
enemies to find his true home,
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00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,146
his true family,
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00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:55,249
and eventually his true love.
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00:01:57,418 --> 00:02:02,923
This is the legend
of the Dancing Ninja.
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00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:21,342
Hi, son.
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00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:25,846
- Papa-san.
- Hmm?
12
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,649
Why is business better
at all the other shops?
13
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:31,319
Very bad location.
No street traffic.
14
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:38,792
- Take delivery to Mr. Shi.
- Yes, Papa-san.
15
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:58,846
The legend says this child
will be an outsider,
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00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:02,350
one who is not accepted
by his peers.
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00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,985
But deep inside,
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00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:07,721
within the recesses
of his very soul...
19
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,990
Here you are, Mr. Shi,
your fish and cake.
20
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:14,462
...there is a destiny
that must be fulfilled.
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00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:23,804
**
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00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:32,246
**
23
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:31,131
Push harder!
24
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:38,271
You will never be ninja!
25
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:48,148
Hard! Faster!
26
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,293
Good power.
27
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,868
Kimi, very nice.
28
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,494
Set. Hai!
29
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,668
Set. Hai!
30
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,238
No.
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00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,414
Set.
32
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:55,549
Hai!
33
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:10,430
Whoa!
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00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,755
Impossible.
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00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,630
Thank you, Ikki.
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00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:18,699
See you later, Mr. Shi.
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00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,703
Are you ready?
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00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:33,146
**
39
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,320
**
40
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:03,410
**
41
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:08,081
* Sometimes you need a friend
42
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,650
Let's learn a new step!
43
00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,720
* Sometimes you need
more than that *
44
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:16,556
* I would like
to see you again *
45
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:20,327
* I've been waiting
for you to come back *
46
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,895
* I know you can
47
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,831
* I think you can
do your dance *
48
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:27,835
* I think this might be
our romance *
49
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:31,271
* Dance, dance, dance
So come and shake your pants *
50
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:35,042
Wow! Was that really your best?
51
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,044
* More, more, more
52
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,879
Hi-ya!
53
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:44,517
You are getting worse and worse.
54
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,787
Sabu, I really want
to be a ninja.
55
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:50,123
Ikki, one does not want
to become a ninja.
56
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:52,626
One either is
or is not a ninja,
57
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,061
and you are not a ninja.
58
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:57,297
Ooh, I'm so disappointed!
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00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:59,032
You can do better!
60
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,301
* Ola ola, hey
61
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:05,205
* Ola ola, uh oh
Ola ola, hey hey *
62
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:08,541
* Ola ola, uh oh
Ola ola, hey *
63
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:12,379
* Ola ola, uh oh
Ola ola *
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00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,749
* You'll be good *
65
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:19,653
* Keep on trying
and you will shine *
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00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,923
* I really know
that you could *
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00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:26,493
* And maybe one day
you will be mine *
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00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,495
* I know you can
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00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,497
* I think you can
do your dance *
70
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:34,301
* I think this might be
our romance *
71
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,269
* Dance, dance, dance
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00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,171
Let's step it up a notch!
73
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:41,641
* Get out on the floor
if you really want some more *
74
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:45,345
* More, more, more
Yeah, we can lock the room *
75
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,414
* We can make it through
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00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,750
I've never seen
anything like this!
77
00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:53,620
* Uh oh, ola ola, hey
Ola ola *
78
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:56,456
* Uh oh, ola ola
Hey hey *
79
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:59,860
* Ola ola, uh oh
ola ola, hey *
80
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:02,495
* Ola ola, uh oh
ola ola *
81
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:03,864
Ready?
82
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,165
Ready?
83
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,633
Begin!
84
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,682
You ready?
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00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:26,653
You win.
86
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,857
* Yeah, we can lock the room
87
00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:33,560
* We can make it cool
So come and make it groove *
88
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:36,663
* Ola ola, uh oh
ola ola, hey *
89
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:42,035
* Ola ola, uh oh
ola ola, hey hey *
90
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:43,636
Perfect!
91
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:50,177
- Okay, Mama-san, nice pose.
- Okay.
92
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,712
This video will sell good.
93
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,818
Ikki-san, where are you going?
94
00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:02,923
To go see Sabu to tell him
I have mastered the dance!
95
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:04,357
Okay, okay.
96
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,528
Okay, come on now,
we finish video.
97
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:12,065
Yeah, baby, arch your back,
lick your lips.
98
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,667
I've heard there is a legend.
99
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:17,938
Ha. What legend?
100
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:20,774
The Legend of the Dancing Ninja.
101
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,210
He studies hard
and becomes so disciplined
102
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,611
that he saves the world.
103
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:27,214
You are a naïve child.
104
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,717
That is ridiculous!
It is a fable.
105
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:32,786
But that's not what
the other ninjas say.
106
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,923
And if it is true,
I have to be him.
107
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:42,362
The ninjas of legend
are cold and hard,
108
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:45,098
but the insides burn like fire.
109
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:48,535
A boiling core of repressed chi
ignites their abilities.
110
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,138
You show no signs of what
a dancing ninja can do.
111
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,773
Can you do this?
112
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:06,753
Ugh!
113
00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:10,623
Ah.
114
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:12,259
Whoa!
115
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,494
That was a cool hip move, Sabu.
116
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,833
Cool hip?
117
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,634
Mm-hmm.
118
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:26,406
When you learn that,
come see me.
119
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:29,476
But, Sabu,
it sounds to me
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00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:32,512
like you just admitted
there is a Dancing Ninja.
121
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:33,914
It sounds to me, Ikki,
122
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:37,284
like you are getting
on my nerves!
123
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,585
You will see, Sabu.
124
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,821
I will train hard,
and I will show you.
125
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:51,764
It is not for me to say, Sabu,
126
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:56,203
but I think you treat him
in an unusual way.
127
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,670
Really?
128
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,342
Do not question
my training methods.
129
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:05,678
Did you just say,
"training method"?
130
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,114
Stand!
131
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,515
Everyone stand!
132
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,816
Two hours!
133
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:12,552
Do not move!
134
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:16,957
And someone clean up that rice!
135
00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:19,526
But do not move!
136
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:25,165
**
137
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,535
Sabu, you asked for me?
138
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,537
- I'm not your Sabu.
- Oh, sorry.
139
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:06,106
Yes, Ikki,
140
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,907
I asked you here to return
these videos to your mother
141
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:10,177
before she stick me
with late charge.
142
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:11,544
Also...
143
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:15,348
I've sensed
that you are troubled,
144
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,717
and I decided
that this one time only
145
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:21,221
I will give advice, in an
unofficial capacity, of course.
146
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:22,922
Thank you, Sabu.
147
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,691
That's very kind of you.
148
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:27,460
I mean, that is very kind
of you, not my Sabu.
149
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,562
It is no problem,
not my student.
150
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:32,532
Now, what troubles you?
151
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:35,268
I do not know who I am.
152
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:36,469
That is simple.
153
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,771
You are a poor orphan boy.
154
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:40,407
You survived
a terrible shipwreck,
155
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:41,641
washed upon the shore.
156
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,743
Your Papa-san find you,
crying baby,
157
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,645
take you home,
you live your life.
158
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,614
Tragic, I know,
but get over it.
159
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,482
Return videos.
160
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,751
But, Sabu, this is why
I have nightmares.
161
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,153
It is close to overdue time.
162
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:56,723
Your mother don't even
give ninja a break! Go!
163
00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:00,093
Ah, hello!
164
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,494
Mmm!
165
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:05,098
You look so... tasty.
166
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,666
I like that.
167
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:09,969
Now I know the big difference.
168
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,771
I'm the only one
169
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:15,808
that doesn't know anything
about myself at all.
170
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,611
Ikki.
171
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,781
Come here.
172
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:25,685
Listen to me.
173
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:28,921
Finding your true self
174
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:32,492
comes from the enlightenment
of knowing a woman.
175
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:36,296
You must release the burning chi
inside you.
176
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,165
It grows stronger
every day.
177
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:40,200
You can feel it.
178
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,802
I do not understand.
179
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:46,173
Just ask your parents.
I'm sure they do.
180
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:50,610
But my parents are just
simple shop owners,
181
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:53,380
other than their
instructional DVD business.
182
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,149
Which are very good,
by the way.
183
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,650
Thank you.
184
00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:00,987
But they know nothing
of ninja training.
185
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:05,024
Ikki, find a woman,
become a man.
186
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:09,629
Only then can you know
who you really are.
187
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:13,133
Oh, Ikki.
188
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:20,407
I pay late charge
on this one. Go.
189
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:24,711
Mmm. "Seven Habits of
Highly Successful Geishas."
190
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:26,479
Well...
191
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:29,716
I teach you nine.
192
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:51,704
You must release
the burning chi inside you.
193
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:55,875
Only then can you know
who you really are.
194
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,108
My parents' video business.
195
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,213
I'm out of control.
196
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:06,012
Look what you've done.
197
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,849
I do not want to cause
any trouble.
198
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,355
I told you.
I do not want any trouble.
199
00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:19,426
You know what? I don't like
people messing with my clothes.
200
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,798
Please!
201
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:28,868
I don't want to fight!
202
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:38,845
**
203
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,689
* Hey, yo
It's about to go down *
204
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:52,024
* And you and I know
I could take these clowns *
205
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:53,560
* I'll fight the fight
day and night *
206
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,495
* You wanna bring it on
Just what I like *
207
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:57,630
* So check what you see
if you wanna step to me *
208
00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:00,467
* I'm that guy who got that chi
I drop it like it's hot *
209
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,535
* You want another taste
of what I got, homeboy *
210
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,036
* Uh, you must be loco
211
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:05,638
* You wanna step
to my ninja flow *
212
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,340
* Come on
213
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:25,725
* Yeah, ninja fight
I got your ninja fight *
214
00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:29,529
* You want a ninja fight
I got your ninja fight *
215
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:33,433
* I got your ninja fight
I got your ninja fight *
216
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:36,836
* You want a ninja fight
I got your ninja fight *
217
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:40,273
**
218
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:01,461
* Ninja fight
I got your ninja fight *
219
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:05,898
* You want a ninja fight
I got your ninja fight *
220
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,369
Damn!
221
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:15,408
You're like a ninja master
or something.
222
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:18,445
Maybe I am.
223
00:21:18,545 --> 00:21:22,281
Have you ever heard of
the Legend of the Dancing Ninja?
224
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:23,816
No.
225
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:26,152
Well, it's
an interesting legend.
226
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:28,921
It foretells of a ninja
who dances, of course,
227
00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:30,423
and then he fights and...
228
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,158
Whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait, wait.
229
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:34,594
We're sorry for
starting beef with you.
230
00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:37,096
Teach us your cool moves.
231
00:21:39,399 --> 00:21:41,901
Please?
232
00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:48,007
* Dance with you
I wanna dance good for you *
233
00:21:51,344 --> 00:21:56,082
* Dance with you
I wanna dance good for you *
234
00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:08,961
* Let the music explode
235
00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:11,130
* When we walk in the door
236
00:22:12,198 --> 00:22:15,201
* Now it's time to move *
237
00:22:16,636 --> 00:22:18,471
* So get on the floor
238
00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:22,942
* Get on the floor
239
00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:25,878
* Get on the floor
240
00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:32,519
* Get on the floor
241
00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:36,222
* Get on the floor
242
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:41,027
* Get on the floor
243
00:22:49,736 --> 00:22:52,071
Press in, press out.
244
00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:55,575
Feel the burn. Good.
245
00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:57,376
Press out.
246
00:22:58,745 --> 00:23:01,213
Okay, three...
247
00:23:01,313 --> 00:23:02,915
two...
248
00:23:03,015 --> 00:23:04,917
...one more!
249
00:23:05,017 --> 00:23:06,519
Okay.
250
00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:07,754
Very good.
251
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:11,724
Your ninja abilities grow
with each repetition.
252
00:23:11,824 --> 00:23:15,762
Soon you'll be ready
for full power machine.
253
00:23:15,862 --> 00:23:17,564
Go. Join the others.
254
00:23:34,947 --> 00:23:36,583
Adoring fans loved him
255
00:23:36,683 --> 00:23:39,752
as an international movie star
all through the '90s.
256
00:23:39,852 --> 00:23:43,756
It may be a few years since
iconic figure Ansel LaDouche
257
00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:45,057
starred in a movie,
258
00:23:45,124 --> 00:23:47,259
and some say his career
is behind him,
259
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,261
but this master
of the martial arts
260
00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:50,863
has turned entrepreneur.
261
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:53,399
Rumor is he will be
the face of the about-to-launch
262
00:23:53,466 --> 00:23:55,234
24-Hour Fighting Channel,
263
00:23:55,301 --> 00:23:57,804
and from there, an entirely new
series of movies.
264
00:23:57,870 --> 00:24:01,440
So while some say "washed up,"
we're not so sure.
265
00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:04,043
This is Heidi Holdem for
Entertainment Hollywood.
266
00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:07,113
W-W-Washed up?
267
00:24:07,213 --> 00:24:10,216
Did she say I was washed up?
268
00:24:10,316 --> 00:24:12,985
She's a dick.
269
00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:17,289
I hate this place.
270
00:24:17,389 --> 00:24:20,059
If I didn't have
to get those plans,
271
00:24:20,159 --> 00:24:22,495
I'd never set foot
in this rat hole again.
272
00:24:22,562 --> 00:24:23,730
It's a pit.
273
00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:26,232
Let's just get that scroll
and get out.
274
00:24:39,111 --> 00:24:41,748
Okay, step three.
275
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:44,517
Right lever tension.
276
00:24:44,617 --> 00:24:47,687
Left lever stretch.
277
00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:51,190
Master, you've done this for me
so often.
278
00:24:51,290 --> 00:24:53,459
Now it's my turn
to help you stretch.
279
00:24:53,526 --> 00:24:56,262
I don't want your help.
280
00:24:56,362 --> 00:24:58,665
Oh, don't be that way.
281
00:24:58,698 --> 00:25:00,299
What you've done for me
282
00:25:00,366 --> 00:25:02,535
has turned my life
into a mega empire!
283
00:25:03,936 --> 00:25:05,437
What I taught you was sacred.
284
00:25:05,538 --> 00:25:08,174
You have taken it and turned
yourself into a mockery.
285
00:25:08,207 --> 00:25:12,278
You are a disgrace.
286
00:25:12,378 --> 00:25:17,016
I am loved by millions.
287
00:25:18,284 --> 00:25:20,386
Maybe in your own mind,
LaDouche.
288
00:25:20,486 --> 00:25:25,524
But in the real world,
you are despised.
289
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:27,960
I am not despised!
290
00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:30,062
I am feared!
291
00:25:31,564 --> 00:25:34,033
You need me!
292
00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:36,235
I need nothing from you.
293
00:25:36,335 --> 00:25:37,670
You want to live?
294
00:25:37,737 --> 00:25:41,207
Get out now, LaDouche,
while I still allow it.
295
00:25:41,307 --> 00:25:43,042
Then you come with me.
296
00:25:43,142 --> 00:25:47,179
Together with this machine,
we can conquer the world!
297
00:25:47,246 --> 00:25:50,249
No.This is not a toy
298
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:53,019
or a trinket to be sold on
Hollywood Boulevard.
299
00:25:53,085 --> 00:25:54,654
This is a dangerous machine
300
00:25:54,721 --> 00:25:56,656
and cannot be trusted
with the likes of you.
301
00:25:56,723 --> 00:25:59,992
I would rather stick a needle
in my eye than help you.
302
00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:02,494
This exercise is done!
303
00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:10,569
Oh, shit.
304
00:26:16,042 --> 00:26:18,878
Wah... huh!
305
00:26:24,917 --> 00:26:26,252
Huh!
306
00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:30,790
Your powers are weak.
307
00:26:35,294 --> 00:26:38,264
Just like old times, huh?
308
00:27:07,994 --> 00:27:12,131
Ohhh...
309
00:27:17,003 --> 00:27:19,171
Oh, you're pretty.
310
00:27:24,576 --> 00:27:25,778
Really?
311
00:27:25,845 --> 00:27:27,279
A gun?
312
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:40,760
I hope you don't mind
me taking these.
313
00:27:43,362 --> 00:27:47,867
Actually, I do mind.
314
00:27:47,967 --> 00:27:49,468
A lot.
315
00:27:56,208 --> 00:27:57,977
Excuse me.
I am sorry.
316
00:27:58,044 --> 00:28:01,147
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, we should celebrate, huh?
317
00:28:01,213 --> 00:28:03,049
- Oh, yes.
- Sushi?
318
00:28:03,115 --> 00:28:04,116
Sake.
319
00:28:04,183 --> 00:28:06,685
Okay, this is not good.
320
00:28:09,321 --> 00:28:11,323
Sabu, it is I, Ikki-san.
321
00:28:11,390 --> 00:28:12,725
I must speak with you.
322
00:28:12,825 --> 00:28:15,294
Uh, Ikki, go away.
323
00:28:15,361 --> 00:28:17,029
Did you say come in?
324
00:28:17,129 --> 00:28:19,365
No!
325
00:28:19,465 --> 00:28:22,201
Sabu, Sabu!
326
00:28:25,237 --> 00:28:26,839
Sabu!
327
00:28:28,908 --> 00:28:31,077
I can't find you, Sabu!
328
00:28:31,177 --> 00:28:33,712
I--
329
00:28:33,813 --> 00:28:37,016
- Sabu, where are you?
- Oh, my God.
330
00:28:37,083 --> 00:28:38,985
Sabu.
331
00:28:40,252 --> 00:28:41,253
You are bleeding.
332
00:28:41,353 --> 00:28:43,055
No, I'm not.
333
00:28:43,155 --> 00:28:44,824
Go away!
334
00:28:44,924 --> 00:28:48,727
Holy Shinto, Sabu.
We need to get you a doctor.
335
00:28:50,062 --> 00:28:51,197
Oh, my Sabu!
336
00:28:51,263 --> 00:28:55,167
I am not your Sabu.
Now go away.
337
00:28:55,234 --> 00:28:57,603
Who did this to you?
Tell me.
338
00:28:57,703 --> 00:28:59,371
I will find him,
and I will kill him.
339
00:28:59,438 --> 00:29:02,274
You cannot avenge my death
340
00:29:02,341 --> 00:29:07,113
because you are
no match for LaDouche.
341
00:29:07,213 --> 00:29:09,949
LaDouche?
342
00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:18,590
Your evil student who's made
a mockery of us in America?
343
00:29:18,624 --> 00:29:22,128
No, it's not him.
Did I say LaDouche?
344
00:29:22,228 --> 00:29:26,565
No, I'm delirious. Oh!
Oh, I see dead people!
345
00:29:26,632 --> 00:29:30,069
It's a sign.
It's clear to me.
346
00:29:30,136 --> 00:29:34,473
You had to die for me
to fulfill my destiny.
347
00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:36,943
Ikki, did it ever
occur to you
348
00:29:37,043 --> 00:29:40,546
that not everything
is about you?
349
00:29:41,713 --> 00:29:44,984
No, Sabu, I don't think so.
350
00:29:45,084 --> 00:29:48,087
I will go to America
where LaDouche lives,
351
00:29:48,154 --> 00:29:51,423
and I will avenge your death.
352
00:29:53,092 --> 00:29:54,827
I'm not dead yet.
353
00:29:56,328 --> 00:29:59,498
After you die, of course.
354
00:29:59,565 --> 00:30:01,467
Okay, well, kill me.
355
00:30:01,567 --> 00:30:03,402
Oh, no, Sabu,
I could not do that.
356
00:30:03,469 --> 00:30:05,104
Oh, come on.
357
00:30:14,780 --> 00:30:17,116
I will avenge your death, Sabu!
358
00:30:17,183 --> 00:30:21,921
I will! I will!
I will! I will!
359
00:30:23,189 --> 00:30:25,858
I'm not your Sabu.
And stop hitting me.
360
00:30:40,272 --> 00:30:45,044
Ikki, I have packed
your bento box for your trip.
361
00:30:45,144 --> 00:30:46,345
And...
362
00:30:47,213 --> 00:30:48,948
Oh!
363
00:30:49,048 --> 00:30:51,984
In case you finally
get lucky.
364
00:30:52,051 --> 00:30:55,387
Mama-san, please.
People will see.
365
00:30:55,487 --> 00:31:00,026
I have little money,
but here, take this.
366
00:31:00,126 --> 00:31:01,327
Go see my friend.
367
00:31:01,393 --> 00:31:03,695
He will give you
a place to stay.
368
00:31:03,795 --> 00:31:07,633
If he don't remember,
give him this gift.
369
00:31:08,534 --> 00:31:10,036
Thank you, Papa-san.
370
00:31:10,136 --> 00:31:13,139
Take care, my son.
371
00:31:13,205 --> 00:31:15,541
Oh, my baby.
372
00:31:23,582 --> 00:31:26,418
- Take care!
- Goodbye.
373
00:31:33,192 --> 00:31:34,860
Goodbye, my family.
374
00:31:36,428 --> 00:31:38,097
Bye-bye.
375
00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:41,867
Okay.
376
00:32:22,474 --> 00:32:25,144
15 guys would be no problem.
377
00:32:32,218 --> 00:32:34,220
Sabu.
378
00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:36,455
Kimi, welcome.
379
00:32:36,488 --> 00:32:40,993
I am so sorry you have
passed on to the other world.
380
00:32:41,127 --> 00:32:43,662
Thank you. Me, too.
381
00:32:45,264 --> 00:32:46,932
Although it does have its perks.
382
00:32:46,999 --> 00:32:50,269
Hello, girls!
Ahh...
383
00:32:50,336 --> 00:32:53,839
Ah, Kimi, I am concerned
about Ikki and you.
384
00:32:53,939 --> 00:32:56,742
You've been one of my most loyal
and faithful students.
385
00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:58,577
Now I must call on you again.
386
00:32:58,644 --> 00:33:01,980
You must go to America
and watch over Ikki
387
00:33:02,014 --> 00:33:04,183
as you would
your own brother.
388
00:33:07,286 --> 00:33:09,488
Okay.
389
00:33:11,123 --> 00:33:12,758
Yes.
390
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:16,128
Okay, go.
391
00:33:16,195 --> 00:33:19,031
Hey, girls! Hello!
392
00:33:19,131 --> 00:33:22,168
One second. Whoa!
393
00:33:22,268 --> 00:33:26,138
Did you know
that I am a ninja master?
394
00:33:26,205 --> 00:33:27,639
Wow...
395
00:33:33,312 --> 00:33:35,047
Die, loser.
396
00:33:35,147 --> 00:33:36,315
Hah!
397
00:33:37,683 --> 00:33:39,118
Loser!
398
00:33:40,619 --> 00:33:41,987
Eat me!
399
00:33:47,059 --> 00:33:48,227
Crystal!
400
00:33:48,327 --> 00:33:51,863
I'm feeling a little light
in the biceps.
401
00:33:57,669 --> 00:34:02,674
Oh, that's good juice!
402
00:34:06,412 --> 00:34:08,080
What's next?
403
00:34:36,775 --> 00:34:39,211
I like it.
404
00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:07,273
Honorable Miss, please give
my card to Mr. Pall.
405
00:35:07,373 --> 00:35:08,874
He's a dear friend
of my Papa-san
406
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:12,110
and will provide me
with a place to stay.
407
00:35:12,144 --> 00:35:15,814
I'm sorry, but the only cards
we accept are plastic.
408
00:35:18,817 --> 00:35:21,052
Is Mr. Pall your father?
409
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,290
Yes, it just
so happens he is.
410
00:35:24,323 --> 00:35:25,891
Really?
411
00:35:27,559 --> 00:35:28,827
Papa-san say if problem,
412
00:35:28,927 --> 00:35:31,763
I should present Mr. Pall
with this gift.
413
00:35:40,472 --> 00:35:41,907
Is there a problem?
414
00:35:43,074 --> 00:35:44,610
I'll take care of this
personally.
415
00:35:56,855 --> 00:36:00,959
**
416
00:36:30,789 --> 00:36:31,957
Hey.
417
00:36:33,392 --> 00:36:35,461
- Hello.
- Hi.
418
00:36:35,561 --> 00:36:38,964
You're amazing.
You taught me how to be a ninja.
419
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:41,800
- What?
- On the dance machine.
420
00:36:41,867 --> 00:36:44,035
You taught me
how to be a ninja.
421
00:36:44,069 --> 00:36:45,471
Wow...
422
00:36:45,571 --> 00:36:46,738
Watch.
423
00:36:49,675 --> 00:36:51,310
Nice.
424
00:36:51,377 --> 00:36:53,712
Now you go.
I'll follow.
425
00:36:53,745 --> 00:36:57,182
**
426
00:37:33,285 --> 00:37:35,721
Back off, man.
427
00:37:35,787 --> 00:37:37,055
Come on.
428
00:37:37,122 --> 00:37:39,291
I do not want
to cause any trouble.
429
00:38:59,104 --> 00:39:01,873
Let me put it to you
straight.
430
00:39:01,973 --> 00:39:06,044
You will never be
the face of my channel.
431
00:39:06,144 --> 00:39:07,646
You're over.
432
00:39:07,713 --> 00:39:11,049
We've, uh...
433
00:39:11,149 --> 00:39:12,651
made another decision.
434
00:39:12,718 --> 00:39:14,853
Garland, you're kidding me.
435
00:39:16,388 --> 00:39:19,391
Who the hell
wants to see that?
436
00:39:20,492 --> 00:39:23,662
You need me.
437
00:39:23,729 --> 00:39:25,564
I will...
438
00:39:27,232 --> 00:39:29,167
make this channel.
439
00:39:29,234 --> 00:39:31,837
You know, there's rumors
about you, Ansel,
440
00:39:31,903 --> 00:39:33,505
that you're off
your freaking nut.
441
00:39:33,572 --> 00:39:36,074
Now we've had
our little meeting.
442
00:39:36,141 --> 00:39:38,209
It's time for you to leave.
443
00:39:38,309 --> 00:39:41,012
No, it's time for you
to leave.
444
00:39:42,814 --> 00:39:46,552
This is my office.
445
00:39:46,652 --> 00:39:49,354
This is my channel.
446
00:39:51,089 --> 00:39:56,361
And this is my universe!
447
00:39:56,428 --> 00:39:57,262
You see?
448
00:39:57,362 --> 00:39:59,865
There's that crazy talk.
449
00:39:59,931 --> 00:40:02,934
Now get it
through your head.
450
00:40:03,001 --> 00:40:07,005
I would use any
of the other action stars
451
00:40:07,072 --> 00:40:08,740
before I'd use you.
452
00:40:08,774 --> 00:40:11,376
Any of them. Get it?
453
00:40:16,615 --> 00:40:18,684
Big news for any of you
Ansel LaDouche fans
454
00:40:18,784 --> 00:40:20,085
that exist out there.
455
00:40:20,118 --> 00:40:21,853
Today he was named
the spokesperson
456
00:40:21,953 --> 00:40:23,455
for the 24-Hour
Fight Channel.
457
00:40:23,522 --> 00:40:26,024
The owner, Garland Jones,
had this to say.
458
00:40:33,465 --> 00:40:37,402
Thank you, Garland.
I am humbled.
459
00:40:37,469 --> 00:40:40,305
Check back for an exclusive
interview with Mr. LaDouche
460
00:40:40,371 --> 00:40:42,574
at the headquarters
of LaDouche Enterprises
461
00:40:42,641 --> 00:40:45,577
to get the inside story
on his, some would say,
462
00:40:45,644 --> 00:40:46,978
surprising comeback.
463
00:40:47,078 --> 00:40:49,981
This is Heidi Holdem for
Entertainment Hollywood.
464
00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:56,421
That Crouching Tiger,
Hidden Dragon flying,
465
00:40:56,488 --> 00:40:58,056
I can do that in real life.
466
00:40:58,123 --> 00:41:00,759
Oh, and The Matrix stuff,
that was all based on me,
467
00:41:00,826 --> 00:41:02,160
but they made it look simple.
468
00:41:02,227 --> 00:41:03,662
It's something only
a few people can do,
469
00:41:03,762 --> 00:41:05,597
and I'm the only one left alive,
because, you know...
470
00:41:05,664 --> 00:41:07,933
- Sabu?
- I'm a ninja master.
471
00:41:07,999 --> 00:41:10,502
Did I tell you that? I did?
472
00:41:10,569 --> 00:41:12,470
Yeah, I killed 20 men
to protect the gold I had
473
00:41:12,571 --> 00:41:14,339
in the mountains
in Switzerland.
474
00:41:14,439 --> 00:41:17,342
No, it's not easy being me
475
00:41:17,442 --> 00:41:20,078
with the level of greatness
I have to maintain.
476
00:41:20,145 --> 00:41:22,080
Did I tell you that
I was a race car driver?
477
00:41:22,147 --> 00:41:24,249
Sabu, this is amazing.
478
00:41:24,315 --> 00:41:26,818
I'm visiting you on
the Plane of Enlightenment.
479
00:41:26,852 --> 00:41:30,488
No, you are not, because
you are not capable of it.
480
00:41:30,589 --> 00:41:32,023
You are dreaming.
481
00:41:32,123 --> 00:41:35,661
You're not here,
and neither am I, okay?
482
00:41:35,761 --> 00:41:38,597
- Sorry, babe.
- I don't know, Sabu.
483
00:41:38,697 --> 00:41:40,832
- Looks pretty real to me.
- No!
484
00:41:40,866 --> 00:41:43,501
The Plane of Enlightenment
is not real to you.
485
00:41:43,602 --> 00:41:46,772
To you, it is
what I tell you it is.
486
00:41:46,872 --> 00:41:49,875
And I tell you
that it is all in your mind,
487
00:41:49,941 --> 00:41:52,377
and you will never come back.
488
00:41:52,477 --> 00:41:54,112
Wahh...
489
00:41:55,547 --> 00:41:57,816
Sabu, why do tell me
those things?
490
00:41:57,883 --> 00:42:00,318
They don't make any sense,
and I'm just confused.
491
00:42:00,385 --> 00:42:04,723
You are confused because
you are not a ninja. Now go.
492
00:42:07,325 --> 00:42:09,294
Wait, wait.
One more thing.
493
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,863
Sabu, if I'm not really here,
494
00:42:11,963 --> 00:42:14,666
then why are you bothering
to tell me to leave?
495
00:42:14,733 --> 00:42:16,067
You understand
what I'm saying?
496
00:42:16,201 --> 00:42:18,303
I will say one thing
one last time.
497
00:42:18,369 --> 00:42:21,973
You are not
the Dancing Ninja.
498
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:26,712
- What about LaDouche?
- You can't handle LaDouche!
499
00:42:31,249 --> 00:42:34,085
I don't know who that was.
500
00:42:37,589 --> 00:42:40,926
Sabu, he was on
the Plane of Enlightenment.
501
00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:42,994
Is it possible you are wrong?
502
00:42:43,061 --> 00:42:45,563
Kimi-san...
503
00:42:45,597 --> 00:42:47,733
I am not wrong.
I am never wrong.
504
00:42:47,833 --> 00:42:52,370
Do not question.
The plan unfolds as it should.
505
00:42:52,437 --> 00:42:54,405
Sabu, I need to know.
506
00:42:54,505 --> 00:42:56,107
You will stand still
four hours!
507
00:42:56,207 --> 00:42:57,609
Do not question me!
508
00:43:03,348 --> 00:43:06,852
Huh! Dead two weeks
and no one listens to me.
509
00:43:06,952 --> 00:43:08,954
Just help him!
510
00:43:09,020 --> 00:43:11,690
Your role will become clear!
511
00:43:13,625 --> 00:43:15,593
Ah, kids!
512
00:43:17,395 --> 00:43:20,799
Focus on the mission.
The rest will become clear.
513
00:43:25,070 --> 00:43:27,739
B is good.
514
00:43:27,806 --> 00:43:31,542
But I must find him first.
515
00:43:31,643 --> 00:43:34,079
Focus.
516
00:43:34,145 --> 00:43:35,947
Never before in the history
of television
517
00:43:35,981 --> 00:43:38,316
has anyone ever dared
to bring the viewer
518
00:43:38,416 --> 00:43:40,418
what they really desire.
519
00:43:40,485 --> 00:43:42,788
LaDouche and Jones Enterprises
bring you
520
00:43:42,821 --> 00:43:47,325
the Fighting Channel,
our 24-hour nonstop brawl
521
00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:49,627
with online offshore gambling.
522
00:43:49,661 --> 00:43:53,264
You will see
world-class boxing,
523
00:43:53,331 --> 00:43:55,233
desert combat,
524
00:43:55,333 --> 00:43:56,802
bedroom brawls,
525
00:43:56,835 --> 00:44:01,139
and a full hour
of hot animal action.
526
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:07,112
Oh! 24 hours of blood, guts,
and oozing sensuality
527
00:44:07,178 --> 00:44:09,647
for your visual
and gambling pleasure,
528
00:44:09,748 --> 00:44:11,917
brought to you by
Ansel LaDouche's
529
00:44:11,983 --> 00:44:15,453
Kung Fu Ninja-ciser.
530
00:44:17,989 --> 00:44:20,625
I'm getting good at this.
531
00:44:24,529 --> 00:44:29,200
La-La-La-La-La... Douche.
532
00:44:49,554 --> 00:44:51,656
Well, this is quite a device
and quite a place.
533
00:44:51,723 --> 00:44:54,192
Thank you.
I designed it myself.
534
00:44:54,225 --> 00:44:58,129
Really? Huh.
So shall we get started?
535
00:44:58,229 --> 00:44:59,998
- Roll it!
- Great. Shane?
536
00:45:02,067 --> 00:45:06,037
So, Ansel, let's get deep here
for a second.
537
00:45:06,071 --> 00:45:09,574
Tell me what makes you
get up in the morning?
538
00:45:12,177 --> 00:45:14,245
Alarm clock.
539
00:45:15,513 --> 00:45:18,049
You're funny.
Seriously, though.
540
00:45:18,149 --> 00:45:20,718
Seriously, Heidi,
I just like helping people.
541
00:45:20,819 --> 00:45:22,720
You know,
for the last 25 years,
542
00:45:22,821 --> 00:45:24,089
I've studied
the mystical teachings
543
00:45:24,189 --> 00:45:25,924
of a great grand master,
544
00:45:26,024 --> 00:45:30,528
a man who I loved deeply,
545
00:45:30,595 --> 00:45:35,566
who taught me how powerful
things like giving can be.
546
00:45:35,666 --> 00:45:39,037
I had no idea you were
sensitive like this.
547
00:45:39,104 --> 00:45:41,739
Oh, look at me.
I'm tearing.
548
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:43,842
Me, too. Oh...
549
00:45:43,942 --> 00:45:45,844
Ooh! And resetting.
550
00:45:47,112 --> 00:45:48,346
So...
551
00:46:32,557 --> 00:46:35,760
Come on, Ikki.
You can do this.
552
00:46:35,827 --> 00:46:36,828
Whoa!
553
00:46:38,729 --> 00:46:41,632
Let me ask you
a really tough question, Ansel.
554
00:46:41,732 --> 00:46:46,071
Five years ago,
your last film bombed.
555
00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:49,007
You were shunned.
556
00:46:49,107 --> 00:46:51,109
You were outcast.
557
00:46:51,176 --> 00:46:53,678
You were box-office poison.
558
00:46:53,778 --> 00:46:56,814
So you disappeared
from the LA scene.
559
00:46:56,915 --> 00:46:59,918
No more movie premieres,
no more charity events,
560
00:46:59,985 --> 00:47:02,020
no more weekly card games
with the A-list
561
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,455
or B-list,
for that matter.
562
00:47:04,522 --> 00:47:08,293
So what was it?
Emotional problems?
563
00:47:08,359 --> 00:47:10,095
Insecurity?
564
00:47:10,161 --> 00:47:13,999
Heidi, I'd given so much
to so many.
565
00:47:14,099 --> 00:47:16,601
I just needed time
to recharge my batteries
566
00:47:16,701 --> 00:47:18,803
to see what I had left.
567
00:47:18,870 --> 00:47:22,007
Hmm. It looks like you've found
quite a lot, haven't you?
568
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:24,209
Yes, I have.
569
00:47:24,342 --> 00:47:27,178
I mean, don't you just want
to strut your stuff a bit,
570
00:47:27,278 --> 00:47:29,614
flash your peacock feathers
and say to the world,
571
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,650
- "Look at me. I'm a douche."
- Huh?
572
00:47:32,717 --> 00:47:36,021
I mean, "I'm LaDouche,
and I'm here to stay."
573
00:47:36,054 --> 00:47:38,056
I just want to wake up
in the morning
574
00:47:38,189 --> 00:47:42,293
and be the best Ansel LaDouche
I can be.
575
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:46,197
* I can't stop this feeling *
576
00:47:46,231 --> 00:47:49,800
* Deep inside of me
577
00:47:49,901 --> 00:47:53,238
* Girl, you just
don't realize *
578
00:47:53,338 --> 00:47:55,473
* What you do to me
579
00:47:56,741 --> 00:48:00,078
* When you hold me
in your arms so tight *
580
00:48:00,145 --> 00:48:04,916
* You let me know
everything's all right *
581
00:48:05,016 --> 00:48:07,718
* I'm *
582
00:48:07,818 --> 00:48:10,888
* Hooked on a feeling
583
00:48:10,989 --> 00:48:14,825
* And I'm high
on believing *
584
00:48:14,926 --> 00:48:18,997
* That you're in love
with me *
585
00:48:20,531 --> 00:48:22,667
* Ooga shaga
Ooga ooga ooga shaga *
586
00:48:22,733 --> 00:48:23,935
* Ooga ooga
587
00:48:24,035 --> 00:48:27,538
- Aaah!
- * Lips as sweet as candy
588
00:48:27,605 --> 00:48:31,442
* Your taste is on my mind
589
00:48:31,576 --> 00:48:34,445
* Girl, you got me thirsty
590
00:48:34,545 --> 00:48:38,216
* For another cup of wine
591
00:48:39,417 --> 00:48:42,720
* Got a bug from you, girl
592
00:48:42,787 --> 00:48:46,624
* But I don't need no cure *
593
00:48:46,691 --> 00:48:49,694
* I'll just stay affected *
594
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:53,431
* If I can't be sure *
595
00:48:53,531 --> 00:48:55,400
* All the good love
596
00:48:55,466 --> 00:48:56,767
* When we're all alone *
597
00:48:56,867 --> 00:48:59,204
* Keep it up, girl
598
00:48:59,270 --> 00:49:01,706
* Yeah, you turn me on
599
00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:04,542
* I'm *
600
00:49:04,609 --> 00:49:07,445
* Hooked on a feeling
601
00:49:07,545 --> 00:49:11,216
* And I'm high on believing *
602
00:49:11,316 --> 00:49:15,220
* That you're in love
with me *
603
00:49:22,327 --> 00:49:23,394
Boss!
604
00:49:23,494 --> 00:49:25,830
Business first.
605
00:49:29,567 --> 00:49:31,402
Whoa! Where do you think
you're going?
606
00:49:31,502 --> 00:49:33,504
I have to avenge
my Sabu's death.
607
00:49:33,571 --> 00:49:36,141
I don't need this crap tonight,
all right? Get out of here.
608
00:49:36,241 --> 00:49:37,508
No, I won't.
609
00:49:37,608 --> 00:49:39,177
Yes, you will.
610
00:49:39,277 --> 00:49:41,112
No, I won't.
611
00:49:41,179 --> 00:49:42,913
Yes, you will!
612
00:49:57,295 --> 00:49:58,196
Whoa!
613
00:50:14,379 --> 00:50:16,714
Whoo!
614
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,670
There's that dude
from somewhere in Asia.
615
00:50:39,737 --> 00:50:41,906
Get the boss out of here.
616
00:50:45,376 --> 00:50:46,711
- Get down!
- Oh, sh--
617
00:50:57,422 --> 00:50:59,424
You are Kimi from the dojo.
618
00:50:59,524 --> 00:51:01,859
Yes, I am, and Sabu sent me.
619
00:51:01,926 --> 00:51:05,230
Sabu? Did he say anything about
my being the Dancing Ninja?
620
00:51:10,401 --> 00:51:11,602
Eh...
621
00:51:11,702 --> 00:51:13,604
No, he didn't.
622
00:51:13,704 --> 00:51:15,740
Perhaps you are
and perhaps you are not,
623
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:20,211
but right now
you must fight like him.
624
00:51:20,278 --> 00:51:21,379
Yes, I will.
625
00:51:21,446 --> 00:51:23,581
**
626
00:51:27,452 --> 00:51:29,187
Nice scarf.
627
00:51:29,254 --> 00:51:30,288
I'll lead.
628
00:52:06,591 --> 00:52:07,725
Wow.
629
00:52:14,665 --> 00:52:16,167
What the hell's going on?
630
00:52:17,502 --> 00:52:18,669
Ow.
631
00:52:57,542 --> 00:53:01,312
Ikki, we have to
get out of here. Let's go.
632
00:53:01,379 --> 00:53:02,680
Who is this guy?
633
00:53:02,713 --> 00:53:05,383
Later. Let's go.
634
00:53:07,218 --> 00:53:08,553
Move! Move!
635
00:53:08,653 --> 00:53:12,457
Whoo!
636
00:53:17,228 --> 00:53:19,630
They definitely sent him
from the dojo.
637
00:53:19,697 --> 00:53:20,865
You're sure?
638
00:53:20,898 --> 00:53:23,200
I recognized him.
He's good.
639
00:53:23,301 --> 00:53:27,838
He had some
crazy dance fighting moves.
640
00:53:29,807 --> 00:53:31,041
What?
641
00:53:31,141 --> 00:53:33,311
What?
642
00:53:33,378 --> 00:53:34,712
What did you just say?
643
00:53:34,812 --> 00:53:37,715
Crazy dance fighting moves?
644
00:53:37,815 --> 00:53:40,485
- Oh! It's him.
- Who?
645
00:53:40,585 --> 00:53:43,220
The Dancing Ninja. Ohh!
646
00:53:44,221 --> 00:53:46,857
I can't get him
out of my brain!
647
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:53,163
There's something
I never told anyone,
648
00:53:53,264 --> 00:53:56,501
something that happened to me
when I was nine.
649
00:54:00,905 --> 00:54:02,873
Ready to read your fortune,
little boy?
650
00:54:02,940 --> 00:54:05,175
Mommy, I don't want
to do this.
651
00:54:05,242 --> 00:54:06,711
Oh, don't worry, darling.
652
00:54:06,777 --> 00:54:09,780
I'm sure your fortune's
going to be fabulous.
653
00:54:25,430 --> 00:54:26,397
Oh!
654
00:54:28,132 --> 00:54:30,100
What does that mean?
655
00:54:31,702 --> 00:54:35,072
You're going to live
a long and fruitful life
656
00:54:35,139 --> 00:54:37,775
with lots of happiness
and laughter.
657
00:54:43,914 --> 00:54:47,251
What's that?
658
00:54:47,318 --> 00:54:49,420
Death.
659
00:54:51,922 --> 00:54:55,626
Oh, well, I think
we should be going.
660
00:54:55,726 --> 00:54:58,396
Wait.
661
00:54:58,496 --> 00:55:00,431
One more.
662
00:55:04,168 --> 00:55:05,102
Oh!
663
00:55:13,678 --> 00:55:15,446
The worst part is...
664
00:55:15,513 --> 00:55:17,848
she left her a tip.
665
00:55:20,418 --> 00:55:22,920
Find him. Get him.
666
00:55:22,987 --> 00:55:24,755
Kill him.
667
00:55:24,822 --> 00:55:27,458
I don't care how you do it.
668
00:55:27,525 --> 00:55:30,127
Just get it done.
669
00:55:31,596 --> 00:55:34,264
This is where
I've been staying.
670
00:55:34,331 --> 00:55:36,000
I know.
671
00:55:37,101 --> 00:55:39,937
Wait. Sabu sent you
to protect me?
672
00:55:40,037 --> 00:55:42,139
Yes, he did.
673
00:55:43,207 --> 00:55:44,842
He doesn't believe in me.
674
00:55:44,875 --> 00:55:47,645
He never saw you
like I saw you tonight.
675
00:55:47,712 --> 00:55:48,946
You thought I was good?
676
00:55:49,046 --> 00:55:50,981
You were great.
677
00:55:52,550 --> 00:55:54,385
Well, should we go inside?
678
00:55:54,485 --> 00:55:57,321
Yes, I would like that.
679
00:55:58,723 --> 00:56:00,891
I will get you your own room.
680
00:56:00,991 --> 00:56:03,360
It's okay. One will do.
681
00:56:03,461 --> 00:56:05,463
Really?
682
00:56:05,530 --> 00:56:08,032
Yes. One is fine.
683
00:56:17,174 --> 00:56:20,478
* I've got the feeling *
684
00:56:20,545 --> 00:56:23,681
* That you kinda maybe
sorta maybe want me, too *
685
00:56:25,182 --> 00:56:28,686
* 'Cause we kick ass together *
686
00:56:28,753 --> 00:56:31,489
* And I'm thinking you feel
the same way I do *
687
00:56:31,556 --> 00:56:33,591
* Whoa
688
00:56:33,691 --> 00:56:37,361
* I can almost see it
in your eyes, I think *
689
00:56:37,428 --> 00:56:41,331
* And I think I know
what you're saying *
690
00:56:41,432 --> 00:56:44,502
* 'Cause my fire's
burnin' down below *
691
00:56:44,569 --> 00:56:47,171
* Like the strings of
the air guitar I'm playing *
692
00:56:47,237 --> 00:56:48,906
* Wah wah wah wah
693
00:56:48,939 --> 00:56:50,941
* Tell me that you like that
694
00:56:51,075 --> 00:56:55,913
* Do you honestly
possibly like that *
695
00:56:55,946 --> 00:56:57,782
* Oh
696
00:56:57,882 --> 00:57:01,351
* I can be your ninja boy
697
00:57:01,418 --> 00:57:05,756
* And you should be
my ninja girl *
698
00:57:05,856 --> 00:57:07,057
* There ain't nothing *
699
00:57:07,124 --> 00:57:09,293
* Probably nothing
700
00:57:09,393 --> 00:57:13,030
* That could come between us
in this whole world *
701
00:57:13,097 --> 00:57:17,535
* Oh, I could be
your ninja man *
702
00:57:17,602 --> 00:57:21,472
* If I could figure out
just who I am *
703
00:57:21,572 --> 00:57:23,040
* Incognito
704
00:57:23,107 --> 00:57:25,275
* On the down low
705
00:57:25,375 --> 00:57:30,715
* You'll never see me comin'
like I'll never see you comin' *
706
00:57:30,815 --> 00:57:33,484
* My ninja girl
707
00:57:34,384 --> 00:57:38,222
* My ninja girl
708
00:57:38,322 --> 00:57:40,591
* My ninja girl
709
00:57:40,658 --> 00:57:42,426
Um, Ikki?
710
00:57:42,493 --> 00:57:44,795
* Na-na-na-na-ninja girl
711
00:57:44,829 --> 00:57:48,833
Ikki, are you okay?
712
00:57:48,966 --> 00:57:51,636
Yes, I am fine.
713
00:57:51,669 --> 00:57:53,070
Come on.
714
00:58:13,190 --> 00:58:14,592
Welcome.
715
00:58:14,659 --> 00:58:18,028
Please follow instruction
very closely.
716
00:58:18,128 --> 00:58:20,364
First, you must dim lights.
717
00:58:20,464 --> 00:58:23,634
Very important to set mood
for happiness pleasure.
718
00:58:23,701 --> 00:58:29,006
Then soft romantic music
for her ears' delight.
719
00:58:29,039 --> 00:58:30,841
**
720
00:58:32,109 --> 00:58:34,612
**
721
00:58:34,712 --> 00:58:38,716
The flame of a candle will
show her that you burn for her.
722
00:58:38,816 --> 00:58:40,685
Ow.
723
00:58:40,785 --> 00:58:43,487
What can you find around you
that might smell good?
724
00:58:43,554 --> 00:58:48,793
Fragrance is essential for
the happy lovemaking session.
725
00:58:54,464 --> 00:58:57,234
Press menu for next lesson.
726
00:59:02,907 --> 00:59:04,809
Are you coming out?
727
00:59:04,909 --> 00:59:07,244
I'm going to meditate.
728
00:59:09,079 --> 00:59:10,514
Good idea.
729
00:59:12,817 --> 00:59:14,819
Maybe she's shy.
730
00:59:14,919 --> 00:59:18,689
Maybe I should meet her
on the Plane of Enlightenment.
731
00:59:33,437 --> 00:59:37,541
Nabu, I know you're there.
732
00:59:37,608 --> 00:59:38,843
May I?
733
00:59:38,943 --> 00:59:41,411
Thank you.
734
00:59:46,116 --> 00:59:47,351
Kimi-san,
what's going on here?
735
00:59:47,451 --> 00:59:49,720
Ikki, what are you doing here?
736
00:59:49,787 --> 00:59:51,455
It is not important
what I'm doing here.
737
00:59:51,521 --> 00:59:53,223
What is he doing here?
738
00:59:54,291 --> 00:59:56,260
I thought you and me...
739
00:59:56,293 --> 01:00:00,731
W-Wait. You--
You're seeing him?
740
01:00:00,798 --> 01:00:02,532
- Yes.
- No.
741
01:00:09,874 --> 01:00:11,241
Stop!
742
01:00:19,717 --> 01:00:21,285
Stop, Nabu!
743
01:00:21,385 --> 01:00:23,721
- Stop fighting!
- Let go!
744
01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:30,227
**
745
01:00:39,169 --> 01:00:43,640
**
746
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:54,251
I'm sorry, Ikki,
if I misled you.
747
01:00:54,351 --> 01:00:56,320
I'm sorry.
748
01:00:56,353 --> 01:00:59,623
Um, I--
It was just a misunderstanding.
749
01:00:59,690 --> 01:01:01,926
I-I gotta go.
750
01:01:04,862 --> 01:01:06,196
Yeah.
751
01:01:12,202 --> 01:01:14,138
Ikki, don't go.
752
01:01:14,204 --> 01:01:15,940
I need to avenge
Sabu's death, Kimi-san.
753
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:17,708
I do not know
what I'm doing here.
754
01:01:17,775 --> 01:01:21,211
I have a plan.
Let's go see LaDouche's enemy.
755
01:01:21,311 --> 01:01:22,679
He will convince the police.
756
01:01:22,780 --> 01:01:26,183
No, Kimi-san.
Sabu was wrong to send you.
757
01:01:26,283 --> 01:01:27,885
It's my legend.
758
01:01:27,985 --> 01:01:29,887
I'll be fine on my own.
759
01:01:37,962 --> 01:01:38,863
Aah!
760
01:01:40,130 --> 01:01:43,567
The Dancing Ninja
grows stronger.
761
01:02:17,367 --> 01:02:20,037
Okay, I get it.
762
01:02:20,104 --> 01:02:21,939
You're on a mission,
763
01:02:22,039 --> 01:02:24,374
and you're a super good
ninja hider.
764
01:02:25,442 --> 01:02:26,944
Whatever.
765
01:02:27,044 --> 01:02:28,212
Who are you taking to?
766
01:02:28,278 --> 01:02:29,947
Ninja girl.
767
01:02:30,014 --> 01:02:32,116
What can I do for you, kid?
768
01:02:32,216 --> 01:02:35,052
We share a common enemy.
769
01:02:35,119 --> 01:02:36,787
LaDouche?
770
01:02:38,188 --> 01:02:39,756
LaDouche.
771
01:02:39,857 --> 01:02:41,758
He killed my Sabu.
772
01:02:41,859 --> 01:02:43,027
Why come to me?
773
01:02:43,093 --> 01:02:44,795
I'm from somewhere in Asia.
774
01:02:44,895 --> 01:02:47,397
Who the hell's
gonna believe me?
775
01:02:47,464 --> 01:02:49,466
Good point.
776
01:02:51,201 --> 01:02:54,471
Whoa. You were a boxer?
777
01:02:54,571 --> 01:02:58,876
I was a pretty good fighter
in my day.
778
01:03:03,147 --> 01:03:05,315
Why, kid?
779
01:03:05,415 --> 01:03:07,417
You fan of boxing?
780
01:03:58,202 --> 01:03:59,870
My father.
781
01:04:05,042 --> 01:04:06,877
Wait, wait.
782
01:04:12,216 --> 01:04:13,717
Son.
783
01:04:13,817 --> 01:04:14,651
Son.
784
01:04:14,718 --> 01:04:16,853
- Son. Oh, my God.
- Daddy.
785
01:04:16,887 --> 01:04:18,055
Son.
786
01:04:27,965 --> 01:04:29,399
Daddy-san!
787
01:04:31,568 --> 01:04:33,137
Daddy-san.
788
01:04:36,406 --> 01:04:39,409
It was my fault
you were lost at sea.
789
01:04:40,644 --> 01:04:41,979
I was on a fighting tour.
790
01:04:42,046 --> 01:04:45,882
I thought a boat ride
and a massage...
791
01:04:48,252 --> 01:04:51,588
It was only supposed to be
a three-hour tour.
792
01:04:51,688 --> 01:04:55,092
Then the typhoon hit.
793
01:04:55,192 --> 01:04:57,827
We searched for you, but...
794
01:04:59,663 --> 01:05:02,832
I'm sorry, Ikki.
795
01:05:02,933 --> 01:05:04,768
I failed you.
796
01:05:05,669 --> 01:05:08,072
Daddy-san, to a ninja,
797
01:05:08,172 --> 01:05:10,840
the past is only
a ripple in the pond.
798
01:05:10,941 --> 01:05:13,777
You do not need
to blame yourself.
799
01:05:13,877 --> 01:05:16,580
But crazy Ansel LaDouche?
800
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:19,016
Look, I don't want you
dealing with him.
801
01:05:19,083 --> 01:05:22,219
He's one dangerous,
messed-up dude.
802
01:05:22,286 --> 01:05:24,921
Yes, he is.
803
01:05:24,955 --> 01:05:29,026
But now we have each other,
and we can take him together.
804
01:05:29,126 --> 01:05:30,427
Oh, son.
805
01:05:30,460 --> 01:05:33,763
Now I have a Papa-san
and a Dad.
806
01:05:33,863 --> 01:05:36,266
That sounds really good
to hear, Ikki.
807
01:05:36,366 --> 01:05:38,368
It feels good to say.
808
01:05:38,468 --> 01:05:39,903
Damn good, I bet.
809
01:05:39,970 --> 01:05:42,806
Hell, yeah! Damn good!
810
01:05:55,652 --> 01:05:57,154
You okay, Ikki?
811
01:05:57,254 --> 01:05:58,655
Dancing Ninja?
812
01:05:58,755 --> 01:06:02,426
More like Dancing Nerd.
813
01:06:02,492 --> 01:06:04,128
Put Jones in the car.
814
01:06:05,395 --> 01:06:06,896
Get up! Get up!
815
01:06:06,997 --> 01:06:09,599
You and LaDouche are
out of your freaking minds!
816
01:06:17,641 --> 01:06:19,109
Okay.
817
01:06:21,845 --> 01:06:23,147
Mmm!
818
01:06:25,849 --> 01:06:27,084
Hey!
819
01:06:32,989 --> 01:06:36,126
LaDouche is gonna be sorry!
I can tell you that!
820
01:06:36,193 --> 01:06:39,863
Here is how it's gonna go,
ninja girl.
821
01:06:39,963 --> 01:06:42,266
When your dancing nerd friend
wakes up,
822
01:06:42,332 --> 01:06:45,835
you can tell him
if he is a good little boy
823
01:06:45,869 --> 01:06:48,772
and takes his ass
back to somewhere in Asia,
824
01:06:48,872 --> 01:06:51,541
then after the premiere,
825
01:06:51,608 --> 01:06:55,512
I will let his Papa go.
826
01:06:57,881 --> 01:07:01,051
Good thing we bugged
his office, huh, Boss?
827
01:07:13,497 --> 01:07:16,333
I owe this to you, buddy.
828
01:07:16,400 --> 01:07:20,970
Where? Where can I find him?
I've looked everywhere.
829
01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:23,873
Where am I
supposed to find him?
830
01:07:23,907 --> 01:07:28,145
What skill do I have?
You know what I mean?
831
01:07:28,245 --> 01:07:31,515
I got punched by a girl.
832
01:07:31,581 --> 01:07:34,151
That's just... lame.
833
01:07:36,253 --> 01:07:39,723
You know what?
Maybe Sabu is right.
834
01:07:39,756 --> 01:07:42,859
Maybe this legend
is just a fable.
835
01:07:44,228 --> 01:07:47,864
I mean, I can't be
the Dancing Ninja.
836
01:07:51,101 --> 01:07:53,603
Oh, hello.
837
01:08:06,616 --> 01:08:08,084
Here.
838
01:08:08,118 --> 01:08:09,286
You finish that.
839
01:08:09,419 --> 01:08:11,921
I gotta check something out.
840
01:08:12,021 --> 01:08:15,692
* Can't you see
it's slowly killing me *
841
01:08:15,792 --> 01:08:18,462
* Your love is like poison
842
01:08:18,562 --> 01:08:19,696
* Poison
843
01:08:19,763 --> 01:08:21,865
* I should've let it go *
844
01:08:21,931 --> 01:08:23,700
* But there's no antidote *
845
01:08:23,767 --> 01:08:26,870
* Your love is like poison
846
01:08:26,936 --> 01:08:29,306
* Poison
847
01:08:48,158 --> 01:08:51,228
* Your love is like poison
848
01:08:51,328 --> 01:08:52,262
* Poison
849
01:08:52,329 --> 01:08:54,097
* I should've let it go *
850
01:08:54,164 --> 01:08:56,132
* But there is no antidote
851
01:08:56,166 --> 01:08:58,835
* Your love is like poison
852
01:08:58,935 --> 01:09:00,504
* Poison
853
01:09:00,604 --> 01:09:04,107
* Can't you see
it's slowly killing me *
854
01:09:04,174 --> 01:09:07,177
* Your love is like poison
855
01:09:07,311 --> 01:09:08,245
* Poison
856
01:09:08,312 --> 01:09:10,146
* I should've let it go *
857
01:09:10,247 --> 01:09:12,115
* But there's no antidote *
858
01:09:12,182 --> 01:09:15,252
* Your love is like poison
859
01:09:15,352 --> 01:09:16,686
* Poison
860
01:09:16,786 --> 01:09:19,656
**
861
01:09:23,026 --> 01:09:25,695
* Your love is like a poison
862
01:09:25,795 --> 01:09:28,198
* Gotta get your number
863
01:09:28,298 --> 01:09:31,868
**
864
01:09:31,968 --> 01:09:33,270
* Gotta get your number
865
01:09:33,337 --> 01:09:35,872
* Your love is like a poison
866
01:09:45,882 --> 01:09:50,387
So, tell me about your son.
867
01:09:50,487 --> 01:09:51,988
There's nothing to tell.
868
01:09:52,055 --> 01:09:53,857
There's nothing to tell,
869
01:09:53,957 --> 01:09:55,959
other than he was lost at sea,
870
01:09:56,025 --> 01:09:57,994
grew up somewhere in Asia,
871
01:09:58,061 --> 01:09:59,863
has the same Sabu as me,
872
01:09:59,896 --> 01:10:03,400
and now is here in America
to avenge his death.
873
01:10:03,500 --> 01:10:05,635
Right.
874
01:10:05,702 --> 01:10:08,004
Other than that...
875
01:10:09,306 --> 01:10:10,907
Tell me something.
876
01:10:13,477 --> 01:10:15,512
Is he the Dancing Ninja?
877
01:10:15,579 --> 01:10:18,248
Did he look like
the Dancing Ninja back there?
878
01:10:18,382 --> 01:10:21,518
I don't know. One minute,
he's an excellent fighter.
879
01:10:21,585 --> 01:10:23,086
The next minute, he sucks!
880
01:10:23,186 --> 01:10:25,322
I don't know
what to tell you, LaDouche!
881
01:10:27,824 --> 01:10:31,661
How can I possibly trust you?
882
01:10:31,761 --> 01:10:34,030
One minute we make a deal,
883
01:10:34,097 --> 01:10:37,033
and now you're
keeping secrets from me.
884
01:10:40,404 --> 01:10:43,072
You know you're making me
do this, don't you?
885
01:10:43,172 --> 01:10:44,941
Do what?
886
01:10:46,610 --> 01:10:48,378
Dead!
887
01:10:48,445 --> 01:10:49,579
Deader!
888
01:10:49,613 --> 01:10:52,015
Deadest!
889
01:10:56,119 --> 01:10:57,521
When the premiere is over,
890
01:10:57,587 --> 01:10:59,556
you'll have no choice
to make a deal with me
891
01:10:59,623 --> 01:11:03,560
because every action star
in the world will be dead...
892
01:11:03,627 --> 01:11:06,129
but moi.
893
01:11:06,229 --> 01:11:07,564
Moi?
894
01:11:07,631 --> 01:11:11,134
It's French for "me."
895
01:11:11,267 --> 01:11:12,802
I don't speak French.
896
01:11:12,902 --> 01:11:14,904
C'est la vie!
897
01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:18,642
Who knew LA was so big?
898
01:11:18,742 --> 01:11:21,445
I can't find him anywhere.
899
01:11:21,545 --> 01:11:24,213
Oh, let me help.
900
01:11:40,497 --> 01:11:42,131
Um...
901
01:11:42,231 --> 01:11:45,569
I will change my clothes.
902
01:11:48,171 --> 01:11:50,440
Right. I'll meditate.
903
01:11:50,507 --> 01:11:53,510
Maybe I can find him
that way.
904
01:12:03,920 --> 01:12:06,289
Damn it, Ikki, concentrate.
905
01:12:18,468 --> 01:12:21,170
If you can't stop yourself
from being a peeping Tom-san,
906
01:12:21,270 --> 01:12:24,608
you're never gonna find
your father. Focus.
907
01:12:45,361 --> 01:12:47,464
What? What's the matter?
908
01:12:49,032 --> 01:12:51,167
Kimi-san, you've asked me
to trust you,
909
01:12:51,234 --> 01:12:54,037
and now I'm gonna have
to ask you to trust me.
910
01:12:54,070 --> 01:12:56,906
Of course. What is it?
911
01:12:57,040 --> 01:13:00,376
The only way that
I'll find my father
912
01:13:00,477 --> 01:13:03,046
is if I become
the Dancing Ninja.
913
01:13:03,146 --> 01:13:09,185
Sabu said truth only comes
when you know a woman.
914
01:13:11,020 --> 01:13:13,356
You know. So, um...
915
01:13:26,369 --> 01:13:27,370
Should I?
916
01:13:44,954 --> 01:13:47,423
Kimi-san, I can see my father!
917
01:13:47,524 --> 01:13:49,926
Keep going.
918
01:14:01,204 --> 01:14:03,406
I know where they are.
Let's go.
919
01:14:05,809 --> 01:14:07,310
Oh.
920
01:14:16,486 --> 01:14:18,755
All set, Boss.
921
01:14:18,822 --> 01:14:20,990
He's coming.
922
01:14:21,090 --> 01:14:23,092
The Dancing Ninja
grows stronger.
923
01:14:23,159 --> 01:14:25,261
Are you sure you're
just not being paranoid?
924
01:14:25,328 --> 01:14:27,263
Why do you think
I'm being paranoid?
925
01:14:27,330 --> 01:14:29,766
You keep saying, "The Dancing
Ninja grows stronger,"
926
01:14:29,833 --> 01:14:31,234
like once an hour.
927
01:14:31,300 --> 01:14:33,436
The Dancing Ninja
grows stronger.
928
01:14:33,503 --> 01:14:36,072
The Dancing Ninja
grows stronger.
929
01:14:36,139 --> 01:14:38,908
The Dancing Ninja
grows stronger.
930
01:14:38,975 --> 01:14:41,144
Really?
931
01:14:41,177 --> 01:14:43,913
I hadn't noticed.
932
01:14:44,013 --> 01:14:45,515
Let's go.
933
01:14:47,851 --> 01:14:49,185
Unbelievable.
934
01:14:49,318 --> 01:14:52,121
Oh! And just for fun,
935
01:14:52,188 --> 01:14:54,090
that's like the game Taboo.
936
01:14:54,157 --> 01:14:56,826
You say the magic words
and boom!
937
01:14:56,926 --> 01:15:01,631
So I wouldn't try
and give away my plan away.
938
01:15:01,698 --> 01:15:03,199
Words can--
939
01:15:03,299 --> 01:15:05,535
- Ah, you--
- Get away from me.
940
01:15:09,806 --> 01:15:10,807
Mm!
941
01:15:12,508 --> 01:15:15,111
Bunch of morons.
942
01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:19,983
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen,
943
01:15:20,049 --> 01:15:24,654
to the premiere of the one and
only 24-Hour Fighting Channel.
944
01:15:31,695 --> 01:15:33,529
Let me introduce
our special guests tonight,
945
01:15:33,563 --> 01:15:36,866
my good friends, Jet Li,
Jean Claude Van Damme,
946
01:15:36,966 --> 01:15:40,570
and Mr. Steven Seagal,
ladies and gentlemen!
947
01:15:52,982 --> 01:15:54,483
There.
948
01:16:09,766 --> 01:16:10,934
Dad!
949
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:13,937
Don't say anything.
I'm booby trapped.
950
01:16:14,037 --> 01:16:16,272
You say the wrong word, boom.
951
01:16:16,372 --> 01:16:17,707
- But...
- No!
952
01:16:17,774 --> 01:16:19,442
- Well, let me--
- No, no! Don't touch anything.
953
01:16:19,508 --> 01:16:21,778
Don't say anything, Ikki.
Just listen to me.
954
01:16:21,878 --> 01:16:25,915
You have to stop... L...
955
01:16:26,015 --> 01:16:28,852
L?
956
01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:31,587
La...
957
01:16:31,688 --> 01:16:34,924
La... Oh! Uh...
958
01:16:35,024 --> 01:16:37,026
Yeah.
959
01:16:37,126 --> 01:16:40,463
Yeah, good.
Good, good, good.
960
01:16:40,563 --> 01:16:41,698
Yeah.
961
01:16:45,702 --> 01:16:47,971
- Right.
- Yeah!
962
01:16:48,071 --> 01:16:51,074
Tonight at the "blank."
963
01:16:51,140 --> 01:16:53,109
- The blank?
- I got this one.
964
01:16:53,142 --> 01:16:54,577
Okay.
965
01:16:57,981 --> 01:16:59,615
Come on. Yeah, yeah.
966
01:17:02,318 --> 01:17:03,653
- Yes!
- Wow!
967
01:17:03,787 --> 01:17:05,454
You're really good
at this, Kimi.
968
01:17:05,488 --> 01:17:10,326
So, listen, tonight at the blank
of the Fighting Channel,
969
01:17:10,426 --> 01:17:13,562
there are bombs,
but not at the blank.
970
01:17:13,629 --> 01:17:17,500
At the get-together
after the blank.
971
01:17:17,600 --> 01:17:19,602
- The get-together?
- Yes.
972
01:17:19,669 --> 01:17:20,469
After the blank.
973
01:17:20,569 --> 01:17:22,638
Right, where the ac--
974
01:17:27,844 --> 01:17:31,080
Where the celebrities are.
975
01:17:31,180 --> 01:17:33,950
Ah! Ah, yes, yes, yes.
So, so...
976
01:17:34,017 --> 01:17:34,984
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
977
01:17:35,018 --> 01:17:36,352
- Hmm?
- Yeah.
978
01:17:36,485 --> 01:17:40,423
Is going to kill
the celebrities...
979
01:17:40,489 --> 01:17:43,860
at the get-together
after the...
980
01:17:43,960 --> 01:17:45,294
- Yes!
- Yes!
981
01:17:45,361 --> 01:17:47,530
Wow! This is fun!
982
01:17:47,630 --> 01:17:49,632
But we should probably go.
983
01:17:49,699 --> 01:17:51,801
Son, good luck.
984
01:17:51,868 --> 01:17:55,538
I wish I could
be there with you.
985
01:17:55,638 --> 01:17:57,273
- I love you--
- Don't touch me!
986
01:17:57,340 --> 01:18:00,476
Okay, okay.
I love you! Let's go.
987
01:18:03,546 --> 01:18:05,715
Man, I gotta pee.
988
01:18:08,384 --> 01:18:11,220
You should have listened,
Dancing Ninja.
989
01:18:36,079 --> 01:18:37,013
They've got him.
990
01:18:37,080 --> 01:18:38,414
Fantastic!
991
01:18:38,514 --> 01:18:40,149
And the after-party?
992
01:18:40,216 --> 01:18:41,550
The timers are set.
993
01:18:41,650 --> 01:18:42,551
Perfect.
994
01:18:42,651 --> 01:18:44,653
And now, the name, the face,
995
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:48,391
and the living soul
of the 24-Hour Fighting Channel,
996
01:18:48,491 --> 01:18:49,893
ladies and gentlemen...
997
01:18:49,993 --> 01:18:51,327
Go, LaDouche!
998
01:18:51,394 --> 01:18:55,698
...the ultimate
Ansel LaDouche!
999
01:18:59,268 --> 01:19:01,604
Ohhh... hah!
1000
01:19:05,274 --> 01:19:08,411
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen!
1001
01:19:08,511 --> 01:19:11,781
And welcome to all
of our viewers at home.
1002
01:19:11,881 --> 01:19:15,051
Don't forget
to log onto our website:
1003
01:19:15,118 --> 01:19:17,954
www.betfight.com.
1004
01:19:18,021 --> 01:19:21,524
And remember,
gamble responsibly.
1005
01:19:21,624 --> 01:19:25,594
Tonight is a very
historical event,
1006
01:19:25,628 --> 01:19:28,965
and I could give
a historical speech.
1007
01:19:29,065 --> 01:19:32,535
But it's not about me tonight,
unfortunately.
1008
01:19:32,601 --> 01:19:35,771
It's about one thing.
1009
01:19:35,872 --> 01:19:38,041
One thing only.
1010
01:19:38,107 --> 01:19:39,608
And what is that?
1011
01:19:39,642 --> 01:19:40,376
Fight!
1012
01:19:40,476 --> 01:19:41,610
What is that?
1013
01:19:41,644 --> 01:19:42,445
Fight!
1014
01:19:42,545 --> 01:19:45,648
All right, let's fight!
1015
01:19:45,748 --> 01:19:46,883
Hyah!
1016
01:19:46,950 --> 01:19:49,953
Come on, ladies!
1017
01:20:24,020 --> 01:20:25,521
I can't move.
1018
01:20:25,654 --> 01:20:28,124
But we have
to get out of here.
1019
01:20:28,191 --> 01:20:30,326
How?
1020
01:20:30,359 --> 01:20:33,997
You're ready, Ikki.
Remember what Sabu showed you.
1021
01:20:34,097 --> 01:20:37,266
You must use your power
and your hips.
1022
01:20:37,366 --> 01:20:41,204
I thought you were the ninja.
1023
01:20:41,270 --> 01:20:43,106
I remember.
1024
01:20:48,311 --> 01:20:50,346
It's not working.
1025
01:20:50,446 --> 01:20:52,115
Proceed at your own risk
1026
01:20:52,215 --> 01:20:55,551
when you face this feisty feline
in the pick chiffon.
1027
01:20:55,651 --> 01:20:58,821
From Boca Raton,
Babette Bombeck.
1028
01:21:02,625 --> 01:21:03,893
And her opponent,
1029
01:21:03,993 --> 01:21:07,730
from a trailer in Kentucky,
Denise Marie.
1030
01:21:07,830 --> 01:21:09,798
Shut up!
1031
01:21:11,400 --> 01:21:14,570
Shut up! Shut up!
1032
01:21:17,240 --> 01:21:18,841
Shut up!
1033
01:21:29,485 --> 01:21:31,654
It is no use.
1034
01:21:31,754 --> 01:21:34,090
What are we gonna do?
1035
01:21:40,429 --> 01:21:42,498
Fulfill the legend.
1036
01:21:42,565 --> 01:21:45,068
I am ready, Ikki.
1037
01:21:52,241 --> 01:21:55,411
* Oh, oh
1038
01:21:55,511 --> 01:21:58,214
Ohh! Ah!
1039
01:21:58,281 --> 01:22:00,116
No, no, no.
1040
01:22:00,249 --> 01:22:03,219
Kimi-san, this is not right.
1041
01:22:03,286 --> 01:22:09,758
You do not burn for me
like I burn for you.
1042
01:22:09,792 --> 01:22:12,128
I'll find another way.
1043
01:22:12,228 --> 01:22:15,098
Wait, Ikki.
1044
01:22:15,198 --> 01:22:17,933
I do burn for you.
1045
01:22:19,135 --> 01:22:23,072
Ikki, it is you I want.
1046
01:22:23,139 --> 01:22:28,544
* Don't let us go
Give me one more chance *
1047
01:22:28,644 --> 01:22:32,115
* Before we crash and burn
1048
01:22:32,148 --> 01:22:35,484
Ahh! Holy Shinto.
1049
01:22:35,618 --> 01:22:37,553
* Before
1050
01:22:37,620 --> 01:22:40,256
* Before we crash and burn
1051
01:22:40,323 --> 01:22:41,624
* Mmm
1052
01:22:41,657 --> 01:22:44,127
* Before we crash and burn
1053
01:22:44,227 --> 01:22:45,161
Ow.
1054
01:22:47,963 --> 01:22:52,768
**
1055
01:22:52,835 --> 01:22:54,637
My hand, my hand.
1056
01:23:04,813 --> 01:23:06,149
My hair, my hair.
1057
01:23:15,491 --> 01:23:17,993
Ow. Sorry.
1058
01:23:36,545 --> 01:23:39,115
Aaahhh... Unh!
1059
01:23:47,623 --> 01:23:49,125
That felt good.
1060
01:23:52,728 --> 01:23:54,330
Really good.
1061
01:23:54,397 --> 01:23:55,964
Yeah.
1062
01:23:56,065 --> 01:23:57,233
Thanks.
1063
01:24:05,574 --> 01:24:07,310
Wait your turn.
1064
01:24:12,047 --> 01:24:15,718
What's he doing here?
You said you had him.
1065
01:24:19,588 --> 01:24:20,889
- We did.
- No, you didn't.
1066
01:24:20,923 --> 01:24:22,525
- Yes, we did.
- No, you didn't.
1067
01:24:22,591 --> 01:24:24,093
Yes, we did.
But now we don't.
1068
01:24:24,227 --> 01:24:26,061
Obviously, you didn't,
so go get him.
1069
01:24:26,162 --> 01:24:29,332
Oh, my God! Steven Seagal!
Steve-o! You rock!
1070
01:24:29,398 --> 01:24:31,567
Go say hi, guys.
1071
01:24:31,667 --> 01:24:34,837
Get out of my way!
Get out of my way!
1072
01:24:34,903 --> 01:24:37,573
There's got to be
a quicker way to the door.
1073
01:24:37,606 --> 01:24:40,042
Get out of my way!
1074
01:24:42,445 --> 01:24:44,079
Follow me.
1075
01:24:46,382 --> 01:24:51,053
**
1076
01:25:02,965 --> 01:25:04,967
Wow! It's Steven Seagal!
1077
01:25:05,033 --> 01:25:06,969
You're my favorite action star.
1078
01:25:07,069 --> 01:25:10,306
I loved you in that movie
Jonathan Livingston Seagal.
1079
01:25:10,406 --> 01:25:12,708
Can I have your autograph?
1080
01:25:12,775 --> 01:25:14,643
Hi, how are you?
Nice to see you tonight.
1081
01:25:14,743 --> 01:25:17,413
Good to see you.
Good fights, huh? Okay.
1082
01:25:17,480 --> 01:25:18,981
All the bombs in place?
1083
01:25:19,081 --> 01:25:20,583
All but one.
It's still in the limo.
1084
01:25:20,649 --> 01:25:22,050
Oh, well, that's nice,
1085
01:25:22,117 --> 01:25:25,321
because obviously our goal here
is to blow up the limo!
1086
01:25:25,421 --> 01:25:26,622
It is?
1087
01:25:26,722 --> 01:25:29,992
No, you idiot.
I'm being sarcastic.
1088
01:25:30,092 --> 01:25:33,962
Okay, get the bomb out of
the limo. Bring it to me.
1089
01:25:34,062 --> 01:25:37,333
Find Crystal. Bring her to me.
You think you can do that?
1090
01:25:37,433 --> 01:25:38,834
No way.
1091
01:25:38,934 --> 01:25:41,770
- What?
- I was being sarcastic, too.
1092
01:25:41,837 --> 01:25:43,639
Just do it! Do it!
1093
01:25:43,672 --> 01:25:45,808
"I was sarcastic, too."
1094
01:25:54,483 --> 01:25:56,118
Dance time, LaDouche.
1095
01:25:56,185 --> 01:25:59,588
You can't stop me
and save the action stars.
1096
01:25:59,655 --> 01:26:02,591
The bombs are in
the goodie bags.
1097
01:26:02,658 --> 01:26:04,993
They're as good as dead.
1098
01:26:05,027 --> 01:26:06,962
They go off
in less than a minute.
1099
01:26:07,029 --> 01:26:11,334
Even the Dancing Ninja
can't be in two places at once.
1100
01:26:11,434 --> 01:26:12,935
Make your choice.
1101
01:26:14,870 --> 01:26:18,006
Bombs? Uh, would you
hold on a second?
1102
01:26:39,295 --> 01:26:41,230
You mean these bombs
right here?
1103
01:26:41,330 --> 01:26:42,398
I searched the building,
1104
01:26:42,498 --> 01:26:44,833
and these were the only ones
I could find.
1105
01:26:44,900 --> 01:26:46,068
They're yours, right?
1106
01:26:46,134 --> 01:26:49,004
You'll kill us both,
you idiot!
1107
01:26:49,071 --> 01:26:51,240
Oh. Unh!
1108
01:26:56,579 --> 01:26:57,746
Get 'em!
1109
01:27:04,820 --> 01:27:08,391
**
1110
01:27:08,491 --> 01:27:09,492
Hi-yah!
1111
01:27:35,017 --> 01:27:36,852
Advanced mode.
1112
01:27:38,621 --> 01:27:40,889
I do not know who I am.
1113
01:27:40,956 --> 01:27:42,558
Finding your true self
1114
01:27:42,625 --> 01:27:46,061
comes from the enlightenment
of knowing a woman.
1115
01:27:47,396 --> 01:27:49,398
I've heard there is a legend.
1116
01:27:49,465 --> 01:27:53,369
The ninjas of legend
are cold and hard,
1117
01:27:53,436 --> 01:27:55,938
but the inside
burns like fire.
1118
01:27:55,971 --> 01:27:57,940
Ikki, it's you.
1119
01:27:58,040 --> 01:27:59,542
Is he the Dancing Ninja?
1120
01:27:59,608 --> 01:28:01,243
- I have to be him.
- It's you.
1121
01:28:01,310 --> 01:28:03,946
- I have to be him.
- It's you.
1122
01:28:03,979 --> 01:28:07,450
The legend
of the Dancing Ninja.
1123
01:28:19,395 --> 01:28:20,563
Ikki, look out!
1124
01:28:42,685 --> 01:28:46,855
Hello, ninja girl.
May I have this dance?
1125
01:28:54,697 --> 01:28:56,432
Ikki, help!
1126
01:28:58,634 --> 01:29:00,636
That's my girlfriend.
1127
01:29:57,159 --> 01:29:59,495
Ikki, the bomb!
1128
01:30:04,767 --> 01:30:06,602
Oh! Ohh!
1129
01:30:12,441 --> 01:30:14,943
Oh...
1130
01:30:15,077 --> 01:30:17,079
This is gonna hurt.
1131
01:30:31,694 --> 01:30:33,295
Now, where were we?
1132
01:30:34,697 --> 01:30:38,300
* Where you been
I waited so long *
1133
01:30:38,400 --> 01:30:42,437
* Until today it's been
the same old song *
1134
01:30:42,538 --> 01:30:45,474
* I've been down
and I've been alone *
1135
01:30:45,574 --> 01:30:50,378
* Now there's something
I gotta know *
1136
01:30:50,445 --> 01:30:52,815
* I'll never let you go *
1137
01:30:52,915 --> 01:30:57,753
**
1138
01:31:01,957 --> 01:31:06,128
* Get up
This is good as it gets *
1139
01:31:15,003 --> 01:31:16,939
* Oh
1140
01:31:17,005 --> 01:31:21,009
* This is good as it gets
1141
01:31:21,143 --> 01:31:23,979
* As good as it gets
1142
01:31:31,186 --> 01:31:35,991
**
1143
01:31:36,024 --> 01:31:38,026
**
1144
01:33:56,064 --> 01:33:58,901
Do you LaDouche?
1145
01:34:03,939 --> 01:34:08,811
Somewhere in Asia,
a ninja was born.
1146
01:34:08,911 --> 01:34:11,146
But to dance or fight?
1147
01:34:11,246 --> 01:34:13,315
He was torn.
1148
01:34:13,415 --> 01:34:16,151
* Dancing Ninja
1149
01:34:16,251 --> 01:34:18,420
* Dancing Ninja
1150
01:34:18,486 --> 01:34:20,322
* Dancing Ninja
1151
01:34:20,422 --> 01:34:21,990
* Oh, let's do it *
1152
01:34:22,090 --> 01:34:24,426
* I play LaDouche
Don't miss my name *
1153
01:34:24,492 --> 01:34:27,029
* I'm the richest one
with the most fame *
1154
01:34:27,129 --> 01:34:28,964
* You employ the martial arts
1155
01:34:29,031 --> 01:34:31,433
* It's hard to resist
my irresistible charm *
1156
01:34:31,499 --> 01:34:33,635
* This crazy movie
will go far *
1157
01:34:33,702 --> 01:34:36,171
* With Lucas Grabeel
as the musical star *
1158
01:34:36,204 --> 01:34:38,373
A Dancing Ninja?
1159
01:34:38,473 --> 01:34:42,978
* Dancing Ninja
1160
01:34:43,045 --> 01:34:47,549
* Sweet and brave
1161
01:34:47,649 --> 01:34:52,154
* Dancing Ninja
1162
01:34:52,220 --> 01:34:56,825
* Who will you save
1163
01:34:56,892 --> 01:34:57,960
Hey!
1164
01:34:58,060 --> 01:35:00,028
* Korean Kimi was her name
1165
01:35:00,062 --> 01:35:02,497
* She's so hot
she'll drive you insane *
1166
01:35:02,564 --> 01:35:04,532
* Bree Turner
got legs for days *
1167
01:35:04,632 --> 01:35:07,402
* She's so hot
she shook up her game *
1168
01:35:07,502 --> 01:35:09,805
* Gary Hudson, he's so cool *
1169
01:35:09,872 --> 01:35:12,207
* Be careful, though
He a dancing fool *
1170
01:35:12,307 --> 01:35:14,542
A Dancing Ninja?
A Dancing Ninja?
1171
01:35:14,642 --> 01:35:16,711
A Dancing Ninja?
A Dancing Ninja?
1172
01:35:16,812 --> 01:35:17,980
What the--
1173
01:35:19,047 --> 01:35:20,983
A Dancing Ninja?
1174
01:35:21,049 --> 01:35:25,387
* Dancing Ninja
1175
01:35:25,487 --> 01:35:29,925
* Sweet and brave
1176
01:35:30,025 --> 01:35:34,396
* Dancing Ninja
1177
01:35:34,496 --> 01:35:39,567
* Who will you save
1178
01:35:39,667 --> 01:35:41,870
* Dancing Ninja
1179
01:35:41,937 --> 01:35:44,106
* Dancing Ninja
1180
01:35:44,206 --> 01:35:46,374
* Dancing Ninja
1181
01:35:46,441 --> 01:35:49,077
* Dancing Ninja
1182
01:35:49,177 --> 01:35:50,578
What the--
1183
01:35:51,513 --> 01:35:53,882
A Dancing Ninja?
1184
01:35:53,949 --> 01:35:56,919
* Patrick Gallagher as Sabu
brings chi to the film *
1185
01:35:57,019 --> 01:35:58,553
* I like Sabu
1186
01:35:58,620 --> 01:36:00,789
* Directed by Kelly
the hero of the movie *
1187
01:36:00,889 --> 01:36:02,891
* Working with him
was so groovy *
1188
01:36:02,958 --> 01:36:05,460
* When you exit the theater
don't walk down the aisle *
1189
01:36:05,527 --> 01:36:08,196
* Move to the groove
dancing ninja style *
1190
01:36:08,296 --> 01:36:10,132
A Dancing Ninja?
1191
01:36:10,232 --> 01:36:14,602
* Dancing Ninja
1192
01:36:14,702 --> 01:36:19,107
* Sweet and brave
1193
01:36:19,207 --> 01:36:23,611
* Dancing Ninja
1194
01:36:23,711 --> 01:36:28,283
* Who will you save
1195
01:36:28,383 --> 01:36:33,121
* Dancing Ninja
1196
01:36:33,221 --> 01:36:37,559
* Sweet and brave
1197
01:36:44,399 --> 01:36:48,336
Oh, I tell ya,
that boy can sure cut a rug!
1198
01:36:48,436 --> 01:36:51,339
Yee-hah!
74560
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