Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,073 --> 00:00:05,189
Yo, yo, yo.
2
00:00:05,191 --> 00:00:06,241
Sir, I just put your soup
in your office,
3
00:00:06,243 --> 00:00:07,258
it's very hot, so...
4
00:00:07,260 --> 00:00:11,246
Ah!
5
00:00:11,248 --> 00:00:12,831
Don't eat it yet.
6
00:00:16,136 --> 00:00:19,421
Ah, it's too hot again.
7
00:00:19,423 --> 00:00:21,339
Sir, I've told you,
if you were a bit more patient
8
00:00:21,341 --> 00:00:23,174
you wouldn't always
burn your tongue.
9
00:00:23,176 --> 00:00:25,209
I know, but it looks so good
I want it right now.
10
00:00:25,211 --> 00:00:28,580
- Sir, stop, stop.
- I can't!
11
00:00:28,582 --> 00:00:29,881
It's too good...
What are you doing?
12
00:00:29,883 --> 00:00:31,182
Here, I think this new spoon
13
00:00:31,184 --> 00:00:32,383
will solve your problem.
14
00:00:33,487 --> 00:00:37,054
What, was it up
your butt or something?
15
00:00:37,056 --> 00:00:39,824
No, just try it.
16
00:00:46,949 --> 00:00:48,867
Mm, perfect.
17
00:00:48,869 --> 00:00:49,968
Now try your spoon again.
18
00:00:49,970 --> 00:00:52,737
Okay.
19
00:00:55,775 --> 00:00:59,544
Now mine.
20
00:00:59,546 --> 00:01:01,129
Mm, yummy.
21
00:01:01,131 --> 00:01:07,051
And yours again.
22
00:01:07,053 --> 00:01:09,471
Ow!
23
00:01:09,473 --> 00:01:11,105
What's going on here?
24
00:01:11,107 --> 00:01:14,275
Well, sir, I grew tired of
you always burning your mouth
25
00:01:14,277 --> 00:01:16,110
and spitting hot soup
into my face,
26
00:01:16,112 --> 00:01:19,063
so I had a friend who works
in manufacturing
27
00:01:19,065 --> 00:01:20,131
make that spoon.
28
00:01:20,133 --> 00:01:23,701
How do it work?
29
00:01:23,703 --> 00:01:25,770
It's actually two
small spoons welded together
30
00:01:25,772 --> 00:01:27,405
with a liquid cooling agent
in between.
31
00:01:27,407 --> 00:01:28,990
Now, the spoon
cools the soup
32
00:01:28,992 --> 00:01:31,826
as you bring it
to your mouth.
33
00:01:31,828 --> 00:01:35,363
It works.
34
00:01:35,365 --> 00:01:36,581
It really works.
35
00:01:36,583 --> 00:01:37,999
Yes, indeed.
36
00:01:38,001 --> 00:01:40,385
And now, you're able
to enjoy your soup
37
00:01:40,387 --> 00:01:42,887
and my face will
remain unscathed.
38
00:01:42,889 --> 00:01:45,089
See you later
and good riddance,
39
00:01:45,091 --> 00:01:46,457
stupid old spoon.
40
00:01:46,459 --> 00:01:49,689
Ow!
41
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:14,990
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
42
00:02:23,950 --> 00:02:26,567
No. As usual,
Jeff's dragging his feet.
43
00:02:26,569 --> 00:02:28,018
Getting him
to help is like
44
00:02:28,020 --> 00:02:32,406
trying to make
a pile of water.
45
00:02:32,408 --> 00:02:33,824
I need him to move
the old furniture down to
46
00:02:33,826 --> 00:02:35,826
the storage area,
and he keeps getting distracted.
47
00:02:35,828 --> 00:02:38,129
Mm, Adam
starts out distracted
48
00:02:38,131 --> 00:02:39,914
and just stays that way.
49
00:02:39,916 --> 00:02:42,633
I think I'm going to have to
resort to my secret weapon,
50
00:02:42,635 --> 00:02:47,471
which, unfortunately, involves
great personal sacrifice.
51
00:02:47,473 --> 00:02:51,926
Maybe you should
just give him sex instead.
52
00:02:51,928 --> 00:02:55,396
Sex is the sacrifice.
53
00:02:55,398 --> 00:02:58,316
Ah, so you tell him
if he does what you want,
54
00:02:58,318 --> 00:03:00,735
- you'll give him some.
- Oh, God no.
55
00:03:00,737 --> 00:03:02,270
If I set that precedent,
56
00:03:02,272 --> 00:03:07,108
he'd be demanding sex every time
I asked him to pass the salt.
57
00:03:07,110 --> 00:03:08,326
The key is, I give him some,
58
00:03:08,328 --> 00:03:09,727
then I ask him the favor.
59
00:03:09,729 --> 00:03:11,495
He's so relaxed
and agreeable,
60
00:03:11,497 --> 00:03:14,282
he always says "yes."
61
00:03:14,284 --> 00:03:15,366
Hm,
62
00:03:15,368 --> 00:03:16,584
I wonder if that
would work with Adam.
63
00:03:16,586 --> 00:03:18,953
I really want to get a dog,
but he doesn't.
64
00:03:18,955 --> 00:03:21,622
Try my system.
65
00:03:21,624 --> 00:03:23,040
I don't know, it sounds kind
of manipulative.
66
00:03:23,042 --> 00:03:26,711
Mm. Spoken like a woman
without a dog.
67
00:03:26,713 --> 00:03:28,763
All right, I'll try it.
68
00:03:28,765 --> 00:03:31,048
Oh, here comes Jeff,
time to bait the trap.
69
00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:34,352
- Hey.
- Hey.
70
00:03:34,354 --> 00:03:39,106
I just saw a guy
I thought was Matthew Modine.
71
00:03:39,108 --> 00:03:42,760
Wasn't.
72
00:03:42,762 --> 00:03:46,063
So, uh, we going
to a movie tonight?
73
00:03:46,065 --> 00:03:48,482
Uh, actually,
I thought maybe we'd stay in.
74
00:03:48,484 --> 00:03:49,984
I could cook dinner,
75
00:03:49,986 --> 00:03:51,935
maybe share a bottle of wine?
76
00:03:51,937 --> 00:03:54,956
Oh, well, that sounds
like a roadmap
77
00:03:54,958 --> 00:03:59,794
whose destination
is the boudoir.
78
00:03:59,796 --> 00:04:01,829
Seems that way, huh?
79
00:04:01,831 --> 00:04:04,081
I hope you're watching.
80
00:04:04,083 --> 00:04:09,003
Learn a little something about
how to treat your man.
81
00:04:09,005 --> 00:04:10,304
Oh, I am.
82
00:04:10,306 --> 00:04:15,226
I'm going to go
pick out a leash.
83
00:04:18,814 --> 00:04:19,847
Hey.
84
00:04:19,849 --> 00:04:21,148
Good, you're here.
85
00:04:21,150 --> 00:04:22,833
What was so urgent, sir?
86
00:04:22,835 --> 00:04:25,353
I can't stop thinking about
our soup spoon invention.
87
00:04:25,355 --> 00:04:28,239
"Our" invention?
88
00:04:28,241 --> 00:04:31,942
Yes, I'm giving you
full half-credit.
89
00:04:31,944 --> 00:04:34,144
I've decided that
we can market it and sell it.
90
00:04:34,146 --> 00:04:36,247
Sir, I just had
the one made for you.
91
00:04:36,249 --> 00:04:38,315
Yes, as usual you were
thinking too small.
92
00:04:38,317 --> 00:04:41,535
Check this out.
93
00:04:44,814 --> 00:04:47,274
"Cool hand soup"?
94
00:04:47,276 --> 00:04:48,376
It's so catchy, man.
95
00:04:48,378 --> 00:04:50,411
Bam!
96
00:04:50,413 --> 00:04:52,430
Sir, why do you suddenly
97
00:04:52,432 --> 00:04:53,764
want to be
in the spoon business?
98
00:04:53,766 --> 00:04:55,299
Ah, I'm sick of riding
99
00:04:55,301 --> 00:04:56,967
my father's coattails.
100
00:04:56,969 --> 00:04:58,135
It's time for me to shine.
101
00:04:58,137 --> 00:04:59,169
Good for you, sir.
102
00:04:59,171 --> 00:05:00,354
I'm very pleased to hear you
103
00:05:00,356 --> 00:05:03,240
so excited about such a
legitimate business venture.
104
00:05:03,242 --> 00:05:05,309
Yeah, thank you, Tim.
105
00:05:05,311 --> 00:05:06,527
It's good to finally
have something
106
00:05:06,529 --> 00:05:10,731
that's completely mine for once,
you know?
107
00:05:10,733 --> 00:05:11,982
Actually, ours.
108
00:05:11,984 --> 00:05:13,350
Easy, Tim, remember
109
00:05:13,352 --> 00:05:17,150
there's no "you" in "team."
110
00:05:39,227 --> 00:05:40,227
Nice work, sir.
111
00:05:40,229 --> 00:05:43,848
I know.
112
00:05:43,850 --> 00:05:46,100
Yeah, I, uh, I did that.
113
00:05:46,102 --> 00:05:49,720
You certainly did.
114
00:05:49,722 --> 00:05:50,738
Speaking of doing things,
115
00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:51,772
do you think maybe you could
116
00:05:51,774 --> 00:05:53,491
get to cleaning
the storage area,
117
00:05:53,493 --> 00:05:55,192
and moving the second bedroom
furniture down there?
118
00:05:55,194 --> 00:05:57,788
Absolutely.
Consider it done.
119
00:06:02,751 --> 00:06:05,870
Too easy.
120
00:06:07,673 --> 00:06:09,173
Whoo!
121
00:06:09,175 --> 00:06:11,008
That's what
I'm talkin' about.
122
00:06:11,010 --> 00:06:14,628
You did talk a lot.
123
00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:16,347
So, um,
124
00:06:16,349 --> 00:06:19,183
you know how I mentioned
getting a pet?
125
00:06:19,185 --> 00:06:20,718
Yeah?
126
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,336
Don't you think
it's a great idea?
127
00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:23,471
Sure, let's do it.
128
00:06:23,473 --> 00:06:25,973
Really?
Well that's great.
129
00:06:25,975 --> 00:06:27,992
- So I was think...
- But not a dog.
130
00:06:27,994 --> 00:06:29,593
A bird.
131
00:06:29,595 --> 00:06:31,612
What?
132
00:06:31,614 --> 00:06:33,030
Why do you want
to get a bird?
133
00:06:33,032 --> 00:06:35,332
I don't know.
134
00:06:35,334 --> 00:06:40,437
Just 'cause.
135
00:06:42,531 --> 00:06:44,107
Yeah.
136
00:06:44,109 --> 00:06:46,243
Yeah, the website's going
to sell spoons.
137
00:06:46,245 --> 00:06:48,462
How much storage capability?
138
00:06:48,464 --> 00:06:50,948
I don't know,
"up the wazoo"
139
00:06:50,950 --> 00:06:54,418
is what I'll need,
I guess.
140
00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:55,803
Okay, Jim, see ya.
141
00:06:55,805 --> 00:06:59,790
Hoo-hoo, making spoon deals,
Timmy, it's very exciting.
142
00:06:59,792 --> 00:07:04,178
Idea... contact Ricky Schroeder
about endorsement deal.
143
00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:07,064
So, sir, I see
you've gone ahead
144
00:07:07,066 --> 00:07:08,732
and formed a business plan.
145
00:07:08,734 --> 00:07:09,967
I have, we're gonna
launch a website,
146
00:07:09,969 --> 00:07:11,986
then post a sales video on it.
147
00:07:11,988 --> 00:07:13,103
I'm gonna
get more tail than
148
00:07:13,105 --> 00:07:16,574
the guy that
invented the spork.
149
00:07:16,576 --> 00:07:19,109
And where exactly are we
getting this sales video?
150
00:07:19,111 --> 00:07:20,978
Oh, we're gonna do it.
151
00:07:20,980 --> 00:07:22,112
We'll make it.
152
00:07:22,114 --> 00:07:23,581
I'll be the director
and executive producer.
153
00:07:23,583 --> 00:07:26,834
And what will I be?
154
00:07:26,836 --> 00:07:30,171
You're a good kid, Timmy,
we'll find something for you.
155
00:07:30,173 --> 00:07:31,589
And, sir,
you're confident
156
00:07:31,591 --> 00:07:34,041
you possess the necessary skills
to shoot a professional video?
157
00:07:34,043 --> 00:07:35,426
Of course.
158
00:07:35,428 --> 00:07:37,044
I learned
quite a bit that week
159
00:07:37,046 --> 00:07:41,031
I spent at
soft-core fantasy camp.
160
00:07:41,033 --> 00:07:42,733
And we'll shoot it
on the video equipment
161
00:07:42,735 --> 00:07:45,352
we'll take from my bedroom.
162
00:07:45,354 --> 00:07:46,604
Your bedroom?
163
00:07:46,606 --> 00:07:50,841
But won't the camera be ruined
after I boil it?
164
00:07:50,843 --> 00:07:51,976
Ha, ha.
165
00:07:51,978 --> 00:07:54,528
Idea... try to bang new
receptionist in lobby.
166
00:07:54,530 --> 00:07:58,899
I can't turn it off, Tim.
167
00:07:58,901 --> 00:08:01,151
You know,
these storage lockers
168
00:08:01,153 --> 00:08:02,953
would make great aviaries.
169
00:08:02,955 --> 00:08:05,489
Let's try to focus.
170
00:08:05,491 --> 00:08:07,541
I've got to get this
all cleaned out for Audrey.
171
00:08:07,543 --> 00:08:08,859
Gotcha.
172
00:08:08,861 --> 00:08:09,877
So, I've narrowed it down to
173
00:08:09,879 --> 00:08:14,215
a macaw or
an african gray parrot.
174
00:08:14,217 --> 00:08:17,001
Why don't you narrow
it down even further...
175
00:08:17,003 --> 00:08:18,736
To a dog.
176
00:08:18,738 --> 00:08:20,871
Dude, birds are great pets.
177
00:08:20,873 --> 00:08:22,890
They're loyal,
they lick your face,
178
00:08:22,892 --> 00:08:24,225
they show up
at the front door
179
00:08:24,227 --> 00:08:27,611
with their little
tail feathers wagging.
180
00:08:27,613 --> 00:08:30,180
You do know what
a bird is, right?
181
00:08:30,182 --> 00:08:31,649
Yes.
182
00:08:31,651 --> 00:08:34,305
And Jen tried to get me
to agree to a dog
183
00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:35,353
right after we had sex.
184
00:08:35,354 --> 00:08:37,404
Like I owe her
some big favor
185
00:08:37,406 --> 00:08:39,356
after rocking her world.
186
00:08:39,358 --> 00:08:42,910
I don't know where
she got that idea.
187
00:08:44,863 --> 00:08:46,096
Wait a minute.
188
00:08:46,098 --> 00:08:47,865
Speaking of doing things,
189
00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:48,999
do you think
maybe you could
190
00:08:49,001 --> 00:08:50,400
get to cleaning
the storage area
191
00:08:50,402 --> 00:08:52,786
and moving the second bedroom
furniture down there?
192
00:08:52,788 --> 00:08:57,591
Absolutely.
Consider it done.
193
00:08:57,593 --> 00:08:59,627
Really?
194
00:08:59,629 --> 00:09:00,794
Audrey uses that with you?
195
00:09:00,796 --> 00:09:03,764
Yeah, and, uh, you know,
196
00:09:03,766 --> 00:09:07,384
I think she's been doing it
for a hell of a long time.
197
00:09:07,386 --> 00:09:09,136
Is it all right
if my parents
198
00:09:09,138 --> 00:09:10,688
stay with us for
a couple of weeks?
199
00:09:10,690 --> 00:09:13,766
Good by me.
200
00:09:15,977 --> 00:09:18,529
Mm. What do you say
we shave this goatee?
201
00:09:18,531 --> 00:09:21,015
It's gone.
202
00:09:24,787 --> 00:09:27,288
Boy, we've been dating
a while, huh?
203
00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:31,599
- Shouldn't we get married?
- Yeah, sure, why not?
204
00:09:34,212 --> 00:09:37,448
Wow, that scam has
been pretty good to her.
205
00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:39,633
Are you going
to go bust her right now?
206
00:09:39,635 --> 00:09:42,169
No.
207
00:09:42,171 --> 00:09:45,055
Revenge is a dish
best served...
208
00:09:45,057 --> 00:09:48,309
After I get some.
209
00:09:57,124 --> 00:09:59,258
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
210
00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:01,243
Did you, uh, get the
storage area all cleaned up?
211
00:10:01,245 --> 00:10:03,295
As promised.
212
00:10:03,297 --> 00:10:04,597
So, did all the stuff
213
00:10:04,599 --> 00:10:06,582
from the baby's room
fit down there?
214
00:10:06,584 --> 00:10:10,553
I don't know.
215
00:10:10,555 --> 00:10:13,489
I, uh, didn't move it.
216
00:10:13,491 --> 00:10:14,895
Are you gonna
do it soon?
217
00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:18,727
Nah, I kind of ran
out of steam.
218
00:10:18,729 --> 00:10:20,462
But I'll get to it.
219
00:10:20,464 --> 00:10:25,100
Maybe.
220
00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:26,652
Maybe?
221
00:10:26,654 --> 00:10:28,937
But last night, you know,
after we, uh...
222
00:10:28,939 --> 00:10:33,325
Yeah, I know, but listen...
223
00:10:33,327 --> 00:10:35,044
Cleaning out the locker
224
00:10:35,046 --> 00:10:40,249
just got me a little tense.
225
00:10:40,251 --> 00:10:44,253
Well, um, you want me
to get you a couple of aspirin?
226
00:10:44,255 --> 00:10:47,837
I don't think that will do it.
227
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,667
Well, why don't we go
to the bedroom,
228
00:10:51,669 --> 00:10:52,752
and I'll give you
a nice massage.
229
00:10:52,754 --> 00:10:58,457
What a delightful
and unexpected idea.
230
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,417
Hey, Timmy.
231
00:11:08,419 --> 00:11:10,052
Oh, hello Mr. Rhodes.
232
00:11:10,054 --> 00:11:11,270
What brings you here?
233
00:11:11,272 --> 00:11:12,772
Oh, Russell told me
to come by.
234
00:11:12,774 --> 00:11:15,007
I'm starring in
a movie or something.
235
00:11:15,009 --> 00:11:16,759
Well,
236
00:11:16,761 --> 00:11:18,694
it's not actually a movie,
237
00:11:18,696 --> 00:11:20,980
it's a web video
to try and sell spoons.
238
00:11:20,982 --> 00:11:24,984
Eh, still getting
my foot in the door.
239
00:11:24,986 --> 00:11:27,269
And this is the set.
That's Hollywood talk for
240
00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:28,454
the place we'll be filming.
241
00:11:28,456 --> 00:11:29,822
It's pretty "maj."
242
00:11:29,824 --> 00:11:31,774
- Wow.
- Yeah.
243
00:11:31,776 --> 00:11:34,243
In fact, Meryl Streep
got her start in a video
244
00:11:34,245 --> 00:11:36,078
very much like this one.
245
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,613
Who's Meryl Streep?
246
00:11:37,615 --> 00:11:39,799
I don't know, I'm too busy
watching the twilight films,
247
00:11:39,801 --> 00:11:41,917
they're good.
248
00:11:41,919 --> 00:11:43,452
These guys are my lackeys.
249
00:11:43,454 --> 00:11:45,221
Lackeys, this is Amber.
250
00:11:45,223 --> 00:11:47,473
Hi. It's Adam, actually.
251
00:11:47,475 --> 00:11:49,342
Hi.
252
00:11:49,344 --> 00:11:50,426
I gotta go potty.
253
00:11:50,428 --> 00:11:52,294
Oh, aren't you adorable?
254
00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:55,981
Well, it's right out there.
255
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,800
Sir, who exactly is she?
256
00:11:57,802 --> 00:12:01,637
She was my counselor
at soft-core fantasy camp.
257
00:12:01,639 --> 00:12:03,939
I promised her a role
in a movie.
258
00:12:03,941 --> 00:12:05,574
Is she my co-star?
259
00:12:05,576 --> 00:12:08,944
'Cause I thought
we had great chemistry.
260
00:12:08,946 --> 00:12:10,780
Mr. Dunbar,
I thought you were taking this
261
00:12:10,782 --> 00:12:12,031
business venture seriously.
262
00:12:12,033 --> 00:12:15,117
Timmy, are you doubting
Amber's ability
263
00:12:15,119 --> 00:12:18,871
to add value
to our sales video?
264
00:12:18,873 --> 00:12:20,322
Russell?
I couldn't find the potty,
265
00:12:20,324 --> 00:12:24,159
and I think
I lost one of my shoes.
266
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:28,431
Well, are you?
267
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:35,438
- Whew.
- Wow.
268
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,807
That massage got away
from you pretty quickly.
269
00:12:37,809 --> 00:12:41,143
Yeah. I just
couldn't control myself.
270
00:12:41,145 --> 00:12:44,530
Two days in a row.
271
00:12:44,532 --> 00:12:46,615
Haven't done that in a while.
272
00:12:46,617 --> 00:12:48,183
Yup. It's going to be tough
273
00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:51,036
to say good-bye to that streak.
274
00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:53,456
Well, I owe you, hon.
275
00:12:53,458 --> 00:12:55,658
Oh, you don't have to...
276
00:12:55,660 --> 00:12:57,192
Mm, you know, actually,
it would be nice if you could
277
00:12:57,194 --> 00:13:00,045
move that furniture
into the storage area.
278
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:02,298
I could definitely do that.
279
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:03,699
- Mm.
- But I don't feel like it.
280
00:13:03,701 --> 00:13:05,634
Great.
281
00:13:05,636 --> 00:13:07,703
Wait, what?
282
00:13:07,705 --> 00:13:10,756
Well, I don't...
283
00:13:10,758 --> 00:13:14,009
I don't feel like it.
284
00:13:14,011 --> 00:13:15,077
But,
285
00:13:15,079 --> 00:13:18,063
it would make me so happy,
286
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:20,466
my big, strong man.
287
00:13:20,468 --> 00:13:23,903
Drop the act, sister.
288
00:13:23,905 --> 00:13:26,889
I'm on to you.
289
00:13:26,891 --> 00:13:29,110
Whatever are
you talking about?
290
00:13:29,111 --> 00:13:30,302
You give me sex,
291
00:13:30,303 --> 00:13:33,412
and then you ask me
to do things.
292
00:13:33,414 --> 00:13:37,366
Jeff, I have no idea what you...
293
00:13:37,368 --> 00:13:39,401
Don't embarrass yourself.
294
00:13:39,403 --> 00:13:41,337
You've had a good run,
295
00:13:41,339 --> 00:13:45,257
but it's over.
296
00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:46,942
Nicely played.
297
00:13:46,944 --> 00:13:50,629
You got the sex first.
298
00:13:50,631 --> 00:13:53,682
Well, I wasn't
married yesterday.
299
00:13:53,684 --> 00:13:55,351
I win.
300
00:13:55,353 --> 00:13:56,769
Mm, except,
301
00:13:56,771 --> 00:13:59,021
that most of the sex you get
302
00:13:59,023 --> 00:14:01,524
is based on my system
of needing you to do things,
303
00:14:01,526 --> 00:14:04,226
which is now over.
304
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,856
I win a little less.
305
00:14:14,496 --> 00:14:15,696
What are you doing?
306
00:14:15,698 --> 00:14:18,966
Just reading this
latest issue of birds usa.
307
00:14:18,968 --> 00:14:23,304
Hey, check out the crest on this
northern lapland, huh?
308
00:14:23,306 --> 00:14:25,523
Whoa.
309
00:14:25,525 --> 00:14:27,341
Yeah, you like
what you see?
310
00:14:27,343 --> 00:14:29,126
I do.
311
00:14:29,128 --> 00:14:33,697
That plumage would
definitely attract a mate.
312
00:14:33,699 --> 00:14:34,782
Well, too bad.
313
00:14:34,784 --> 00:14:36,116
What do you mean?
314
00:14:36,118 --> 00:14:38,369
I mean that until
you agree to get a dog,
315
00:14:38,371 --> 00:14:39,603
I'm withholding sex.
316
00:14:39,605 --> 00:14:43,874
Good luck.
317
00:14:43,876 --> 00:14:45,275
What do you mean,
"good luck"?
318
00:14:45,277 --> 00:14:48,796
You want it
as much as I do.
319
00:14:48,798 --> 00:14:50,464
Plus, I mean, come on.
320
00:14:50,466 --> 00:14:53,334
Look at this, huh?
321
00:14:53,336 --> 00:14:56,276
There's no way
you can resist this.
322
00:15:01,009 --> 00:15:02,292
Huh?
323
00:15:02,294 --> 00:15:05,513
Flat-ish stomach.
324
00:15:05,515 --> 00:15:07,252
Perfect amount of chest hair.
325
00:15:11,803 --> 00:15:13,654
Oopsie.
326
00:15:13,656 --> 00:15:17,808
Did I drop something?
327
00:15:17,810 --> 00:15:18,826
Oh yeah?
328
00:15:18,828 --> 00:15:21,829
Well I can drop stuff too.
329
00:15:26,368 --> 00:15:30,337
Huh?
330
00:15:30,339 --> 00:15:33,424
Check out these tight buns.
331
00:15:33,426 --> 00:15:34,758
Oh, what?
332
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:38,679
Did somebody say,
"silken, creamy thighs"?
333
00:15:38,681 --> 00:15:39,847
We're getting a bird.
334
00:15:39,849 --> 00:15:40,965
We're getting a dog.
335
00:15:40,967 --> 00:15:42,182
- A bird.
- Dog.
336
00:15:42,184 --> 00:15:44,184
- Bird!
- Dog!
337
00:15:53,528 --> 00:15:55,679
Aw, look
at this little guy,
338
00:15:55,681 --> 00:15:57,197
hey, hey there.
339
00:15:57,199 --> 00:15:58,682
Just so you know,
340
00:15:58,684 --> 00:16:03,237
neither of these
are allowed in the building.
341
00:16:06,691 --> 00:16:07,825
Oh, hey.
342
00:16:07,827 --> 00:16:09,743
Hey.
343
00:16:09,745 --> 00:16:11,662
Listen, I've been thinking
about my whole system
344
00:16:11,664 --> 00:16:15,365
of, you know, me doing stuff,
so you'll do stuff,
345
00:16:15,367 --> 00:16:16,834
I don't know, maybe
it's good that it's over.
346
00:16:16,836 --> 00:16:18,052
How so?
347
00:16:18,054 --> 00:16:20,871
Well, from now on,
if I ask you to do something,
348
00:16:20,873 --> 00:16:22,573
you'll do it because
you love and support me.
349
00:16:22,575 --> 00:16:24,058
And if we have sex,
350
00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:26,644
it will be solely
as an expression
351
00:16:26,646 --> 00:16:31,282
of our love for each other.
352
00:16:39,758 --> 00:16:42,192
Oh, my God,
353
00:16:42,194 --> 00:16:45,195
I can't believe I got through
that with a straight face.
354
00:16:45,197 --> 00:16:47,448
Yeah, listen... I think
I've come up with, um,
355
00:16:47,450 --> 00:16:49,099
something a little
bit more realistic.
356
00:16:49,101 --> 00:16:50,834
Hm.
357
00:16:50,836 --> 00:16:55,255
I have put together
a pretty comprehensive
358
00:16:55,257 --> 00:16:59,009
"sex for chores" list.
359
00:16:59,011 --> 00:17:01,295
"Sex for chores"?
Isn't that a little crass?
360
00:17:01,297 --> 00:17:02,796
A little, yes.
361
00:17:02,798 --> 00:17:05,582
But I think it'll really
streamline our marriage
362
00:17:05,584 --> 00:17:09,419
all the way up
until we're dead.
363
00:17:09,421 --> 00:17:11,589
Hmm, all right,
whatever gets us there.
364
00:17:11,590 --> 00:17:14,141
Right? Okay.
365
00:17:14,143 --> 00:17:16,060
So, look, all right,
366
00:17:16,062 --> 00:17:18,345
I know that you want me to move
all the second bedroom stuff
367
00:17:18,347 --> 00:17:19,430
down to the storage locker.
368
00:17:19,432 --> 00:17:20,531
I do.
369
00:17:20,533 --> 00:17:23,400
Okay, well,
let's look at the chart.
370
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:29,406
Under "household chores/
heavy lifting" and
371
00:17:29,408 --> 00:17:34,712
this is the act that
you'd have to perform.
372
00:17:34,714 --> 00:17:37,948
That seems
a little excessive.
373
00:17:37,950 --> 00:17:41,585
Well, let's just check out
the conversion chart...
374
00:17:44,923 --> 00:17:45,923
And you'll see
375
00:17:45,925 --> 00:17:50,077
that one of those
equals two of these.
376
00:17:52,370 --> 00:17:54,839
Lady's choice.
377
00:18:01,156 --> 00:18:05,943
I've never felt
more like a lady.
378
00:18:05,945 --> 00:18:06,977
How about instead
379
00:18:06,979 --> 00:18:09,446
I give you this.
380
00:18:09,448 --> 00:18:14,668
Oh, please,
I can do that myself.
381
00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:18,422
In fact,
let's just cross this one out.
382
00:18:18,424 --> 00:18:23,677
I'm better at it anyways.
383
00:18:23,679 --> 00:18:25,629
You know,
sometimes you are so annoying,
384
00:18:25,631 --> 00:18:27,548
I wish you'd just shut up.
385
00:18:27,550 --> 00:18:30,467
I will...
386
00:18:30,469 --> 00:18:34,888
If you do this.
387
00:18:37,342 --> 00:18:39,226
All right,
you guys have the honor
388
00:18:39,228 --> 00:18:41,862
of seeing the world premiere
of the video
389
00:18:41,864 --> 00:18:43,814
that's going
to launch my new business.
390
00:18:43,816 --> 00:18:45,282
Our new business.
391
00:18:45,284 --> 00:18:46,650
My new business.
392
00:18:46,652 --> 00:18:48,869
Feast your eyes.
393
00:18:48,871 --> 00:18:51,789
You love
steaming hot soup...
394
00:18:55,543 --> 00:18:59,018
But hate the nightmare
of eating it.
395
00:19:07,422 --> 00:19:09,056
And waiting for it to cool,
396
00:19:09,058 --> 00:19:10,591
who has that kind of time?
397
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,887
You try cooling
it with ice cubes.
398
00:19:25,775 --> 00:19:30,244
But that just makes
it cold and watery.
399
00:19:30,246 --> 00:19:34,248
We can use
the other shot again...
400
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:37,868
The problem
is your old, outdated spoon.
401
00:19:37,870 --> 00:19:39,736
But wait,
402
00:19:39,738 --> 00:19:41,638
there's a better way.
403
00:19:44,510 --> 00:19:46,460
That's right,
it's "cool hand soup".
404
00:19:52,801 --> 00:19:54,268
New "cool hand soup" spoon.
405
00:19:54,270 --> 00:19:57,137
Don't let regular spoons
406
00:19:57,139 --> 00:20:01,308
destroy your life anymore.
407
00:20:07,115 --> 00:20:11,819
Okay, got the camera set up.
408
00:20:11,821 --> 00:20:15,105
All right. Let's get
a little weird this time.
409
00:20:15,107 --> 00:20:18,876
Ooh!
410
00:20:18,878 --> 00:20:22,412
We can edit that out.
411
00:20:29,758 --> 00:20:31,225
All right,
that really didn't work for me
412
00:20:31,227 --> 00:20:32,927
I think we need
a chunkier soup,
413
00:20:32,929 --> 00:20:34,745
do we have a chowder?
414
00:20:37,199 --> 00:20:40,568
That's better, but, uh,
415
00:20:40,570 --> 00:20:42,403
let's try a minestrone.
416
00:20:42,405 --> 00:20:47,325
All right, all right,
just, wait, wait...
417
00:20:47,327 --> 00:20:48,626
You know, I liked that.
418
00:20:48,628 --> 00:20:50,711
But you know what,
let's do one more tomato again.
419
00:20:50,713 --> 00:20:52,547
All right, I'm done...
420
00:20:56,785 --> 00:21:00,138
Okay, all right,
we're ready to shoot this.
421
00:21:01,522 --> 00:21:05,825
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
28634
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
