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1
00:00:02,042 --> 00:00:04,712
So, Russell,
what is the latest with you and Liz?
2
00:00:05,410 --> 00:00:07,683
One day you're into it,
the next you want a divorce.
3
00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:10,457
It's been a real roller-coaster
of who-gives-a-crap.
4
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:15,431
Listen,
I think I can make this marriage work.
5
00:00:15,597 --> 00:00:18,647
I mean, I can't keep chasing
teenagers forever.
6
00:00:18,967 --> 00:00:22,438
In five or ten years,
it might start to look pathetic.
7
00:00:23,904 --> 00:00:26,816
Yes, only time will tell.
8
00:00:26,941 --> 00:00:29,152
I'm gonna leave Audrey a voicemail.
9
00:00:29,277 --> 00:00:31,004
How do you know she won't pick up?
10
00:00:31,129 --> 00:00:35,375
Oh, I can't tell you that.
It's a guy secret.
11
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:38,120
I already know how to
pee in the kitchen sink.
12
00:00:38,286 --> 00:00:39,662
You know what, just tell her.
13
00:00:39,787 --> 00:00:40,880
I mean, she eats like a horse,
14
00:00:41,005 --> 00:00:43,292
and, uh, she always wants to do it.
15
00:00:44,626 --> 00:00:48,471
She's the closest thing to a guy
that relationship's got.
16
00:00:48,596 --> 00:00:49,889
All right.
17
00:00:50,014 --> 00:00:52,093
There's this phone app
called shy-dial.
18
00:00:52,259 --> 00:00:54,010
Shy-dial!
19
00:00:54,135 --> 00:00:56,112
Which will automatically
send your calls
20
00:00:56,237 --> 00:00:57,765
to the other person's voicemail.
21
00:00:57,931 --> 00:00:59,892
Your phone never even rings.
22
00:01:00,058 --> 00:01:01,568
I get credit for calling Audrey
23
00:01:01,693 --> 00:01:04,154
without having to talk to her.
24
00:01:04,279 --> 00:01:05,555
You actually go out of your way
25
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,707
to avoid a conversation
with your spouse?
26
00:01:07,832 --> 00:01:10,794
Well, that's not new.
27
00:01:10,919 --> 00:01:15,965
But now technology
has finally caught up with me.
28
00:01:16,090 --> 00:01:19,469
Oh, hey, Audrey,
went to voicemail again.
29
00:01:19,594 --> 00:01:22,205
I know you wanted
to discuss paint colors
30
00:01:22,330 --> 00:01:26,226
for the baby's room, which I was
really looking forward to. Um...
31
00:01:26,351 --> 00:01:31,090
Argh! Frustrating!
32
00:01:33,941 --> 00:01:36,679
- Shy-dial.
- Shy-dial!
33
00:01:39,113 --> 00:01:40,573
Voicemail?
34
00:01:40,698 --> 00:01:43,060
Never even heard it ring.
35
00:01:43,226 --> 00:01:47,231
Jeff: One.
Audrey: Several thousand.
36
00:01:49,024 --> 00:01:51,777
But I am gaining.
37
00:01:54,112 --> 00:01:57,408
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
38
00:02:21,798 --> 00:02:23,393
Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Dunbar.
39
00:02:23,984 --> 00:02:26,416
- How was the shopping excursion?
- Thorough.
40
00:02:26,541 --> 00:02:29,358
We hit every boy's department
on fifth Avenue.
41
00:02:30,241 --> 00:02:32,151
We even went to a store called saks
42
00:02:40,985 --> 00:02:43,428
Go try on that striped top
we picked out, darling.
43
00:02:43,553 --> 00:02:46,959
We'll give Timmy
a little fashion show.
44
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,293
Well done, Mrs. Dunbar.
45
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,319
You've transformed a rotting he-goat
46
00:02:50,444 --> 00:02:53,632
into a domesticated one-woman man.
47
00:02:54,947 --> 00:02:56,375
Oh, you know, Tim,
48
00:02:56,500 --> 00:03:00,519
I've come to realize
that I'm the one with needs
49
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:03,934
no one man can fully satisfy.
50
00:03:06,742 --> 00:03:08,730
You've got mail.
51
00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,765
It seems as though I've got mail.
52
00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:16,134
Face it, my spicy man of the east.
53
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,731
Something yummy passed
between us during that kiss,
54
00:03:18,856 --> 00:03:20,409
and it wasn't just my sucret.
55
00:03:22,059 --> 00:03:23,185
Mrs. Dunbar, I think you'll find that
56
00:03:23,310 --> 00:03:25,622
that was, in fact,
a misunderstanding.
57
00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:27,523
Then why can't I stop thinking
58
00:03:27,648 --> 00:03:31,211
about your hot vindaloo
in my welcoming tandoor oven?
59
00:03:33,069 --> 00:03:34,613
Well, thank you
60
00:03:34,738 --> 00:03:38,510
for ethnically tailoring
that filthy metaphor.
61
00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:40,387
Ah, look who's back.
62
00:03:46,149 --> 00:03:49,461
These pants are kinda itchy.
63
00:03:49,586 --> 00:03:51,096
Well, my pants are getting all itchy
64
00:03:51,221 --> 00:03:53,933
just checking you out, you're so hot.
65
00:03:54,058 --> 00:03:55,100
Well, handsome men,
66
00:03:55,225 --> 00:03:59,311
I'm off to the spa
for some deforestation.
67
00:04:13,159 --> 00:04:16,405
'Scuse me. Hi. Uh...
I need to return this jacket.
68
00:04:16,530 --> 00:04:19,898
Okay. And, uh,
why are we returning it?
69
00:04:20,384 --> 00:04:22,911
Well, I, uh,
decided I didn't want it.
70
00:04:23,036 --> 00:04:24,806
Let's just leave it at that.
71
00:04:24,972 --> 00:04:26,725
Well, I have to put down a reason.
72
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:30,103
Fine. If you must know, I was teased.
73
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,065
You know... made fun of?
74
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,557
Why? It's a classic blue blazer.
75
00:04:35,682 --> 00:04:39,404
Yes. Yes, but people said
things like "lame jacket,"
76
00:04:39,970 --> 00:04:42,908
and "here comes Captain Dandy
of the S.S. Fancy boy."
77
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:47,436
And then some joke about seamen
which I don't wanna tell you
78
00:04:47,561 --> 00:04:50,155
because I know I'll just wreck it.
79
00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:51,723
Okay. Wow.
80
00:04:51,848 --> 00:04:53,759
- Um, what's your name?
- Adam.
81
00:04:53,884 --> 00:04:55,411
- Hey, Adam. Chris.
- Hey.
82
00:04:55,536 --> 00:04:57,446
And I gotta say, I don't get it.
83
00:04:57,571 --> 00:05:00,783
If anything, this jacket's
too conservative for you.
84
00:05:00,908 --> 00:05:04,096
Do me a favor.
Try this one.
85
00:05:04,411 --> 00:05:08,130
You could carry off a much more
fashion-forward look.
86
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:15,631
- Oh, nice!
- I don't know.
87
00:05:15,756 --> 00:05:19,051
There's no way I could wear this
in front of the guys.
88
00:05:19,176 --> 00:05:21,071
And my fianc�e.
89
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:24,189
Why do you give them so much power?
90
00:05:24,314 --> 00:05:26,201
You look awesome in this.
91
00:05:32,155 --> 00:05:34,793
Damn it, Chris,
when you're right, you're right.
92
00:05:39,562 --> 00:05:40,989
I called you from the paint store.
93
00:05:41,114 --> 00:05:44,626
When you called me back,
it went to my voicemail again.
94
00:05:44,751 --> 00:05:47,296
Finally I just had to
pick a paint color myself.
95
00:05:47,421 --> 00:05:49,465
So irritating.
96
00:05:49,590 --> 00:05:53,925
How do you think I feel?
I didn't even get to weigh in.
97
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:56,889
Are we a team, or not?
98
00:05:57,014 --> 00:05:58,140
All right, I gotta get to work,
99
00:05:58,265 --> 00:06:00,676
but there are plenty more
baby furniture decisions
100
00:06:00,801 --> 00:06:02,311
- you can be a part of.
- Okay.
101
00:06:02,436 --> 00:06:05,866
I will call to discuss.
You leave your phone on, you.
102
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,830
Thanks for coming
to support me, Chris.
103
00:06:15,648 --> 00:06:17,493
Wow.
104
00:06:17,618 --> 00:06:18,879
Good luck.
105
00:06:21,604 --> 00:06:23,766
Pfft. Who needs luck
when you're dressed
106
00:06:23,891 --> 00:06:26,869
like a superstar?
107
00:06:26,994 --> 00:06:28,597
You rock, buddy.
108
00:06:41,724 --> 00:06:45,337
New jacket?
109
00:06:45,462 --> 00:06:48,474
Yes, thanks to my new friend Chris.
110
00:06:48,599 --> 00:06:51,310
And it's awesome.
111
00:06:51,435 --> 00:06:53,663
Anyway, Chris and I are gonna
go sit over there now,
112
00:06:53,829 --> 00:06:55,614
and be nice to each other.
113
00:06:55,739 --> 00:06:58,823
'Cause that's what real friends do.
114
00:07:01,911 --> 00:07:03,799
What the hell just happened?
115
00:07:06,082 --> 00:07:08,710
I kind of spaced out
in the middle but...
116
00:07:08,835 --> 00:07:11,807
I think Adam bought
a new lady safari jacket...
117
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,852
And he may have named it Chris.
118
00:07:18,611 --> 00:07:19,838
Did you see that?
119
00:07:19,963 --> 00:07:22,541
Your confidence took away their
power to make fun of you.
120
00:07:22,666 --> 00:07:24,343
Yes, yes.
121
00:07:24,468 --> 00:07:26,988
Hold on.
122
00:07:29,838 --> 00:07:32,077
Oh, hey, Jeff.
123
00:07:33,609 --> 00:07:37,322
Uh-huh.
124
00:07:37,447 --> 00:07:38,875
Okay.
125
00:07:46,489 --> 00:07:48,593
They took some of the power away.
126
00:07:51,627 --> 00:07:52,556
What'd he say?
127
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,289
He... he wanted to know
when I needed to be back
128
00:07:54,414 --> 00:07:57,198
at the bird show at Busch gardens.
129
00:08:02,254 --> 00:08:04,860
You don't have to take that.
Come on.
130
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,323
Hey, it's the maitre D
at the rainforest cafe.
131
00:08:12,348 --> 00:08:13,925
Seriously?
132
00:08:14,050 --> 00:08:16,621
Like you have a leg to stand on
criticizing anyone's appearance.
133
00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:19,666
I mean, call off the search...
I found Waldo.
134
00:08:24,610 --> 00:08:27,090
What are you laughing at,
optimus primate?
135
00:08:31,334 --> 00:08:34,162
Sears roebuck called
and wants its $90 suit back.
136
00:08:34,287 --> 00:08:36,632
Apparently there's a teacher
from 1970
137
00:08:36,757 --> 00:08:39,519
who needs to get to work.
138
00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:41,229
That's all right.
139
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:44,212
They've already been served.
140
00:08:45,631 --> 00:08:46,610
Let's go, Adam.
141
00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:53,549
Where the hell is Jeff?
142
00:08:53,674 --> 00:08:55,619
He promised we'd go
look at cribs today.
143
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:56,953
You guys are moving?
144
00:08:57,527 --> 00:09:00,639
No. Cribs.
For the baby.
145
00:09:00,764 --> 00:09:02,459
Oh, 'cause, you know, it also means...
146
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,976
Yes, yes. I get it.
You're young.
147
00:09:05,101 --> 00:09:06,811
All right, well, see you later.
148
00:09:06,936 --> 00:09:08,980
Bye.
149
00:09:12,376 --> 00:09:15,660
Voicemail?In?
150
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,323
Oh, darn it, I missed you again.
151
00:09:18,448 --> 00:09:22,928
Uh, anyway, I stopped by a bar
to catch the game,
152
00:09:23,053 --> 00:09:24,996
but you mentioned
shopping for baby stuff,
153
00:09:25,121 --> 00:09:29,101
which... sounds fun, too.
154
00:09:29,226 --> 00:09:32,304
What to do?
155
00:09:32,429 --> 00:09:35,807
Well, baby's due in five months.
Game's on now, so...
156
00:09:35,932 --> 00:09:38,954
I guess that solved itself, huh?
157
00:09:40,403 --> 00:09:44,650
What... what the hell
is wrong with this thing?
158
00:09:49,478 --> 00:09:50,539
Hey, Timmy.
159
00:09:50,664 --> 00:09:52,857
Mrs. Bingham, hello. Um...
160
00:09:52,982 --> 00:09:54,511
I was hoping to ask your advice
161
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:57,245
regarding a matter
of utmost delicacy.
162
00:09:57,370 --> 00:10:00,558
Uh, well, I-I was gonna go
check out some cribs, but...
163
00:10:00,724 --> 00:10:02,394
You're thinking of moving?
164
00:10:04,993 --> 00:10:07,205
Uh, for the... the baby.
165
00:10:07,330 --> 00:10:08,557
Oh. You see, it also has another...
166
00:10:08,682 --> 00:10:11,476
Yes, yes.
It has two meanings.
167
00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:13,145
Okay. What's going on?
168
00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:18,150
Well, um, Liz,
of, uh, "Russell and Liz"...
169
00:10:18,275 --> 00:10:21,705
Recently began making
advances toward me.
170
00:10:25,531 --> 00:10:28,410
Oh, my God. Uh...
171
00:10:28,535 --> 00:10:30,862
Well, obviously, Timmy,
you just have to tell her
172
00:10:30,987 --> 00:10:32,280
to back off.
173
00:10:32,405 --> 00:10:33,665
Well, Mrs. Bingham, I've tried,
174
00:10:33,790 --> 00:10:36,094
but she's clearly in the grips
of an obsession.
175
00:10:39,346 --> 00:10:40,756
My lips, I'm afraid, once tasted,
176
00:10:40,881 --> 00:10:45,061
are a highly addictive opiate.
177
00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:48,148
Once you go brown,
you keep comin' around.
178
00:10:55,227 --> 00:10:58,273
Isn't that the ups slogan?
179
00:10:58,398 --> 00:11:00,308
All right. Okay.
Well, um...
180
00:11:00,433 --> 00:11:02,871
I think it's clear, now you need
to say something to Russell.
181
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,364
Yes, quite right.
182
00:11:05,489 --> 00:11:09,252
No point in putting it off
any further, I suppose.
183
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:11,436
He texted me earlier,
and I shy-dialed him back
184
00:11:11,561 --> 00:11:15,323
so I could avoid
having to speak to him.
185
00:11:15,448 --> 00:11:16,875
You did what?
186
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,795
Shy-dialed. It's this app that
sends your calls to voicemail
187
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,598
so you don't have to talk to people.
188
00:11:31,797 --> 00:11:33,693
You son of a bitch.
189
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,445
I was impressed with you
back there, Adam.
190
00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:44,363
Standing up to your
narrow-minded friends.
191
00:11:44,488 --> 00:11:47,222
Ah, couldn't have done it
without you, dude.
192
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:49,919
Well, wait till they
check out your latest look.
193
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,178
Amazing.
194
00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:00,546
I'm not that sold.
195
00:12:00,671 --> 00:12:03,349
I'm a suit...
With shorts.
196
00:12:03,624 --> 00:12:05,142
It's actually a culotte.
197
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,719
Dude, I know it's cool out.
198
00:12:06,844 --> 00:12:09,855
That's why I'm worried
about wearing the shorts.
199
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,649
Plus, you know, man,
it's pretty steep.
200
00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:14,527
Can you really put a price
on looking your best?
201
00:12:14,693 --> 00:12:18,489
In six months, you're gonna see
this look all over town.
202
00:12:18,656 --> 00:12:21,016
Look, I know my friends
are gonna find something
203
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,351
to make fun of, 'kay?
204
00:12:22,476 --> 00:12:23,869
They're clever that way.
205
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,321
Screw those guys.
206
00:12:25,446 --> 00:12:27,248
Plus, I'll be there to shut 'em up.
207
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,918
You have not
steered me wrong yet, Christo.
208
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,256
And I never will.
209
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,804
Bam!
210
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:51,836
Oh, no, Jeff,
straight to voicemail again.
211
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:57,102
And I really needed to reach you.
212
00:12:57,227 --> 00:13:02,825
Remember my friend Betsy
from college?
213
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:05,727
Remember that thing
you always hoped would happen
214
00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:09,248
with the three of us?
215
00:13:09,373 --> 00:13:13,502
Well, she stopped by,
we opened a bottle of wine,
216
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:17,256
and it might actually happen
if we can find you.
217
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:21,010
Get home as fast as you can.
218
00:13:21,135 --> 00:13:24,035
Threesome?
219
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,224
Threesome.
220
00:13:27,658 --> 00:13:28,717
I need my check.
221
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,686
- Sure, just a second.
- No, I need it right now.
222
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:33,189
My wife is offering a threesome
with her hot college friend.
223
00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:35,931
- Go! It's covered!
- Thanks, man.
224
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,735
Clear the way, he's got a threesome!
225
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,236
Threesome comin' through!
226
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,687
All right, go on!
227
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,937
Mr. Dunbar?
228
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:50,395
Mr. Dunbar?
229
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,294
Hello, Timothy.
230
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,046
Where's Mr. Dunbar?
231
00:13:57,171 --> 00:14:00,007
He sent me a text to meet him here.
232
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:03,761
Ooh, that was me.
I stole his phone.
233
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,264
You'll never guess what I've
got on under this coat.
234
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,475
Lots of layers?
235
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:10,792
Maybe something with a drawstring
236
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:13,178
that has a stubborn knot in it?
237
00:14:13,303 --> 00:14:15,272
Nothing. Nada.
238
00:14:15,439 --> 00:14:19,652
Except, of course, my spanx.
239
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,139
Mrs. Dunbar, what of your husband?
240
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,242
Oh, please.
He can't keep up with me.
241
00:14:26,367 --> 00:14:28,077
I've been grinding the poor guy
down to a nub.
242
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:30,037
Now come on.
243
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,614
If you don't waste time
with foreplay,
244
00:14:31,739 --> 00:14:33,832
you'll be in and out
like seal team six.
245
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:41,924
I'm so sorry.
Was Osama your guy?
246
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,715
No, of course not.
247
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:46,387
Either way, it's not a deal-breaker.
248
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,764
Timmy.
249
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,849
Timmy, you here?
250
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,185
Tim...
251
00:14:53,427 --> 00:14:55,062
Liz.
252
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:56,350
Hello, Russell.
253
00:14:56,475 --> 00:14:57,398
What's going on here?
254
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,857
I came back to look for my phone,
255
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,442
and you're standing here in the dark?
256
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,778
I stole your phone
and came to your office
257
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:05,981
on the chance that you might
come looking for it
258
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:09,618
uh, so we could...
Do it on your desk.
259
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,456
Well, that makes...
260
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:17,251
Total sense, yeah!
Let's do it!
261
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,058
Audrey, I'm here.
262
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:37,102
Audrey? Betsy?
So you started without me?
263
00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:43,652
That's all right.
I'm not, I'm not mad.
264
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,863
Audrey, Audrey.
265
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:47,656
Where is she?
266
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:52,467
Gee, I don't know, Jeff.
Why don't you shy-dial her?
267
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:07,926
I'm getting a strong feeling
that, uh...
268
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,137
Betsy's not actually in there.
269
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:16,518
But I owe it to myself
to at least check.
270
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,143
- What's my name?
- Mommy!
271
00:16:24,268 --> 00:16:26,487
- What's my name?
- Mommy!
272
00:16:26,937 --> 00:16:28,864
Oh, wait, mommy,
my back's giving out.
273
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,784
Just, uh, you know,
maybe you get on top?
274
00:16:31,909 --> 00:16:33,152
Of course, lover.
Not too bouncy, though,
275
00:16:33,277 --> 00:16:35,954
I'm still burping up
that Turkey chili from dinner.
276
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:37,456
Okay, now I got a better idea.
277
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:39,333
I'm gonna stand up, 'kay?
278
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,994
So wait, you slide over here...
279
00:16:42,119 --> 00:16:45,003
Ahh!
280
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,139
What, Jeff?
281
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,433
See, it didn't go to voicemail.
282
00:17:00,469 --> 00:17:03,682
I uninstalled the shy-dial.
283
00:17:03,807 --> 00:17:06,777
Well, good for you.
That fixes everything.
284
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,991
You're still mad.
285
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:16,945
Look, it's not like
I don't like talking to you,
286
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,764
it's just that sometimes
you drag me into things
287
00:17:18,889 --> 00:17:21,250
that aren't that interesting,
like, uh, paint colors,
288
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,627
or how your day was.
289
00:17:25,579 --> 00:17:28,173
Uh, how many times
have you talked my leg off
290
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:30,342
about the stupid mets bullpen?
291
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:32,127
Or that the meat-lovers' pizza
292
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:35,664
went up by a dollar?
293
00:17:35,789 --> 00:17:36,882
That was a slap in the face.
294
00:17:37,007 --> 00:17:39,059
They know that we're meat-lovers.
295
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,729
They have us over a barrel.
296
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,273
Yes, we've had this conversation,
297
00:17:44,398 --> 00:17:46,442
and never once have I cared about it.
298
00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:47,676
But I pretended to,
299
00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:49,394
because that's what you do
in a marriage.
300
00:17:49,519 --> 00:17:51,613
You pretend to care.
301
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:57,870
You know, back when
we were first married...
302
00:17:57,995 --> 00:18:01,206
I pretended all the time.
303
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:03,959
I guess I just got lazy.
304
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,128
That's on me.
305
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:09,214
So, uh, tell me stuff.
Go ahead.
306
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:11,366
- No, you don't have to.
- I insist.
307
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:14,386
Tell me about your day.
And as far as you know,
308
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,971
I will care.
309
00:18:19,882 --> 00:18:22,895
All right. I'll take it.
Well, uh, for starters,
310
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:25,380
I think today I found us
a beautiful crib.
311
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:26,765
With a baby on the way,
312
00:18:26,890 --> 00:18:28,650
I don't think it's
the right time to move.
313
00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:40,662
So, given the circumstances,
314
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,540
Liz and I have agreed
to get a divorce.
315
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:46,502
Circumstances being
that she tried to nail Timmy,
316
00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:50,797
but then nailed you
with Timmy underneath your desk.
317
00:18:56,252 --> 00:18:59,306
It was right there
in front of my face.
318
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,749
That's too bad.
319
00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:02,851
You were just starting
to like being married.
320
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:04,803
I tried.
321
00:19:04,928 --> 00:19:06,305
But the whole thing was a joke.
322
00:19:06,430 --> 00:19:07,981
I mean, come on,
it was never gonna work.
323
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,777
Mere inches from my face.
324
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:26,333
What's going on?
325
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:30,546
Why are you dressed
like a gay four-year-old?
326
00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:35,133
Where are they holding
the Willy Wonka auditions?
327
00:19:36,959 --> 00:19:38,337
Mock all you want.
328
00:19:38,462 --> 00:19:42,174
When Chris gets here, he's gonna
shove it in your face.
329
00:19:42,299 --> 00:19:44,184
Please don't phrase it that way.
330
00:19:48,471 --> 00:19:50,399
Oh, wow, he should
actually be here by now.
331
00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:52,568
He's pretty eager to back me up.
332
00:19:55,979 --> 00:19:57,906
Oh... Chris called.
333
00:19:58,031 --> 00:19:59,116
Hmm.
334
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:01,243
Hey, Adam, listen,
something came up today,
335
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:03,612
and I'm kind of busy, so...
336
00:20:03,737 --> 00:20:05,113
I'll probably just see you around.
337
00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:07,649
Good luck with the clothes.
338
00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,960
Thank you, shy-dial.
339
00:20:14,330 --> 00:20:15,674
Whoa, that is fierce!
340
00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:18,827
Told ya, dude.
341
00:20:18,952 --> 00:20:21,169
Cash or charge?
342
00:20:24,822 --> 00:20:26,217
Hey, listen, this thing
that happened today,
343
00:20:26,342 --> 00:20:27,769
it's still nagging at me.
344
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,813
Well, you wanna
talk about it some more?
345
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:30,554
I do.
This threesome with Betsy...
346
00:20:30,679 --> 00:20:32,746
Forget it.
347
00:20:36,050 --> 00:20:38,896
That is never, never gonna happen.
348
00:20:39,021 --> 00:20:42,105
Oh, interesting.
I only heard two "never"s.
349
00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:46,143
That's one less than before.
350
00:20:48,328 --> 00:20:49,344
It's pretty pathetic,
351
00:20:49,469 --> 00:20:51,268
but if you wanna
hang your hopes on that,
352
00:20:51,393 --> 00:20:52,753
then knock yourself out.
353
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,132
He got one less "never"!
354
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,180
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
25730
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