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1
00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:06,968
Thanks for letting me
borrow all this stuff.
2
00:00:06,968 --> 00:00:08,934
It's really gonna class up
our dinner party.
3
00:00:08,934 --> 00:00:11,033
Well, Jeff will be there
to class it down,
4
00:00:11,033 --> 00:00:13,200
so it should be a wash.
5
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,667
Oh, hey.
Hm.
6
00:00:14,667 --> 00:00:17,334
Pretty bold, robbing us
in broad daylight.
7
00:00:17,334 --> 00:00:19,300
It's for dinner
at our place Saturday night.
8
00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:21,901
Oh, all right.
Well, looking forward to it.
9
00:00:21,901 --> 00:00:23,234
Should be fun.
10
00:00:23,234 --> 00:00:26,267
God, that's gonna suck.
How did you let that happen?
11
00:00:26,267 --> 00:00:27,868
She asked, and we were free.
12
00:00:27,868 --> 00:00:29,267
All right?
It won't be that bad.
13
00:00:29,267 --> 00:00:31,033
Yes, it will.
The last meal she made for us
14
00:00:31,033 --> 00:00:32,868
tasted like balloons.
15
00:00:32,868 --> 00:00:35,033
Those were fried clams.
16
00:00:35,033 --> 00:00:37,934
Explain the variety of colors.
17
00:00:37,934 --> 00:00:41,200
I can't.
But they're our friends
18
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,934
and we're going
to their dinner party.
19
00:00:42,934 --> 00:00:44,868
Oh, wait.
Dinner party?
20
00:00:44,868 --> 00:00:46,667
Are there gonna be
other people there?
21
00:00:46,667 --> 00:00:48,501
Just one other couple.
22
00:00:48,501 --> 00:00:50,033
Don't say it.
It's the Bennetts.
23
00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:51,367
Aw, you said it.
24
00:00:51,367 --> 00:00:53,133
Chuck Bennett is so boring.
25
00:00:53,133 --> 00:00:54,834
Sometimes when
I can't sleep at night
26
00:00:54,834 --> 00:00:57,467
I literally count
Chuck Bennetts.
27
00:00:57,467 --> 00:00:59,701
I know, but Chuck
comes with Laurie,
28
00:00:59,701 --> 00:01:01,868
and Laurie's an old friend
of Jennifer's.
29
00:01:01,868 --> 00:01:03,834
Besides, we can make
a drinking game out of it.
30
00:01:03,834 --> 00:01:07,334
Every time Chuck says
"long story short" drink.
31
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,868
Yeah, but remember what
we're gonna be drinking.
32
00:01:09,868 --> 00:01:12,200
Oh, God, that's right.
33
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,734
Chuck always
brings that beer he makes.
34
00:01:14,734 --> 00:01:17,234
In his bathtub.
35
00:01:17,234 --> 00:01:19,801
Like Anheuser-Busch doesn't know
what they're doing.
36
00:01:19,801 --> 00:01:23,434
I gotta drink pale ale filtered
through his hair trap.
37
00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:27,501
Please be a serial killer.
38
00:01:30,801 --> 00:01:32,601
Hey, Brad. Jackie.
Hey, Jeff.
39
00:01:32,601 --> 00:01:35,267
Guys. Hey, come in.
Audrey.
40
00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:37,834
Oh, you're looking gorgeous
as usual.
41
00:01:37,834 --> 00:01:40,234
Back off, buddy,
that's my wife.
42
00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:44,067
It's funny, because he
doesn't like girls.
43
00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:46,901
One of those things is true.
44
00:01:46,901 --> 00:01:49,334
Come on, what's the point in
having friends that are gay
45
00:01:49,334 --> 00:01:51,167
if you can't ride 'em a little?
46
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,834
Forget I just said that.
47
00:01:56,868 --> 00:01:58,033
Anyway,
48
00:01:58,033 --> 00:02:00,000
we're sorry to
pop over unannounced,
49
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,601
but we sent you an invite
to our party and someone
50
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,200
mailed it without a stamp.
51
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,801
Yeah, it's the crime
of the century.
52
00:02:06,801 --> 00:02:10,133
Just give it to them,
my big Black Forest ham.
53
00:02:11,133 --> 00:02:12,634
This Saturday night.
54
00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:14,634
It's just friends
and a few clients.
55
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,601
Very casual.
Stop underselling it.
56
00:02:16,601 --> 00:02:17,968
It's gonna be huge.
57
00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:19,434
We got a fabulous caterer,
58
00:02:19,434 --> 00:02:22,534
yummy waiters, and there's
gonna be famous people there.
59
00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:25,234
We would love to come Saturday,
but we already have plans.
60
00:02:25,234 --> 00:02:28,467
So we're gonna miss a really
great famous-person party
61
00:02:28,467 --> 00:02:31,300
for Chuck Bennett
and his bathtub hooch?
62
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:33,601
Is that a band?
63
00:02:33,601 --> 00:02:35,701
We're already committed.
End of story.
64
00:02:35,701 --> 00:02:37,167
Ah. Damn it.
65
00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:39,534
Come on, take me to Pinkberry.
66
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,334
Wow.
67
00:02:41,334 --> 00:02:43,901
I'm not even that gay
when we're having sex.
68
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,868
Goodbye.
69
00:02:51,467 --> 00:02:52,667
Audrey.
70
00:02:52,667 --> 00:02:53,934
Don't even say it.
71
00:02:53,934 --> 00:02:55,667
We already promised
Adam and Jen.
72
00:02:55,667 --> 00:02:57,100
Verbally.
This is in writing.
73
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,501
It'll be Adam and Jen's
word against ours.
74
00:02:59,501 --> 00:03:02,634
We can't cancel just because
we got a better invitation,
75
00:03:02,634 --> 00:03:04,400
all right?
You don't do that to friends.
76
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,167
We're gonna miss
a really great party
77
00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:07,767
with top-shelf booze,
78
00:03:07,767 --> 00:03:11,234
purchased from a store,
untouched by human buttocks.
79
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:15,133
We're going to Adam and Jen's,
all right? Drop it.
80
00:03:15,133 --> 00:03:16,367
Fine.
81
00:03:16,367 --> 00:03:18,400
I can't promise
it won't come up again
82
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,968
when I'm drunk
on ass-beer.
83
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:27,534
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪
84
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:33,501
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
85
00:03:33,501 --> 00:03:36,267
♪ With you by my side ♪
86
00:03:36,267 --> 00:03:38,868
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
87
00:03:38,868 --> 00:03:42,100
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
88
00:03:48,467 --> 00:03:49,534
Pass the salt.
89
00:03:50,968 --> 00:03:52,400
Say we can go to Brad's party.
90
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,634
No.
91
00:03:55,634 --> 00:03:56,868
No salt.
92
00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:02,767
Boy, you two look bummed.
93
00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:05,300
What is it, 12 years now?
94
00:04:07,968 --> 00:04:10,434
Oh, I'm sorry.
My boss's scathing barbs
95
00:04:10,434 --> 00:04:12,100
at married life
do tickle me so.
96
00:04:13,901 --> 00:04:16,067
Audrey's forcing us
to go to a dinner party
97
00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:17,367
at Adam and Jen's.
98
00:04:17,367 --> 00:04:20,634
Oh, God, I went to one
of their bore mitzvahs once.
99
00:04:20,634 --> 00:04:23,868
I had to make crappy small talk
with their lame friends,
100
00:04:23,868 --> 00:04:26,400
eat those Cornish
dry game hens,
101
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,734
and play stupid charades.
102
00:04:29,801 --> 00:04:32,167
That was our dinner party.
103
00:04:32,167 --> 00:04:33,334
Oh, really?
104
00:04:33,334 --> 00:04:34,868
Well, in that case,
105
00:04:34,868 --> 00:04:37,868
sounds like it blew.
106
00:04:37,868 --> 00:04:39,934
Adam and Jen's
is gonna be worse.
107
00:04:39,934 --> 00:04:42,167
And Audrey won't let me tell 'em
a lie to get out of it.
108
00:04:42,167 --> 00:04:44,033
I'm not comfortable
lying to friends.
109
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,868
That's the beauty
of having an assistant.
110
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:48,033
Timmy here does
all my lying for me.
111
00:04:48,033 --> 00:04:50,767
Happy to do it, sir.
112
00:04:50,767 --> 00:04:52,000
See how good I've become?
113
00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:55,801
A lie just wouldn't get us out
of Adam and Jennifer's,
114
00:04:55,801 --> 00:04:57,901
it'd also get us into and Brad
and Jackie's party,
115
00:04:57,901 --> 00:04:59,868
which is gonna have fantastic
food and booze,
116
00:04:59,868 --> 00:05:01,934
professional athletes...
Whoa, whoa.
117
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:04,300
Professional athletes?
Yeah, Brad's a sports agent.
118
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,133
What do you care?
You don't follow sports.
119
00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:09,534
No, but I follow models,
and models follow athletes.
120
00:05:09,534 --> 00:05:11,334
He's right, you know.
121
00:05:11,334 --> 00:05:13,200
Back home in South Africa,
cricket players
122
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,968
get all the best tail.
123
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:18,601
Listen, we're going
to that party.
124
00:05:18,601 --> 00:05:19,901
Were we invited, sir?
125
00:05:19,901 --> 00:05:21,200
Ah, it's a mere formality.
126
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,501
We'll get in there
with one phone call.
127
00:05:28,033 --> 00:05:29,267
Yes?
128
00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:31,133
Timmy, get us into that party.
129
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,267
Beep, beep, coming through.
130
00:05:40,267 --> 00:05:42,234
Really, I'm gonna marry
131
00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:45,534
the "beep beep,
coming through" guy?
132
00:05:47,467 --> 00:05:49,901
So I see the kids next door
repoed our chairs.
133
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:52,601
How are we gonna sit
at the table?
134
00:05:52,601 --> 00:05:54,767
Not a problem. They're
coming back for that too.
135
00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:56,267
Theirs isn't
big enough for six.
136
00:05:56,267 --> 00:05:59,200
So for their party they bring
nothing to the table.
137
00:06:00,767 --> 00:06:02,601
Not even a table.
138
00:06:04,033 --> 00:06:05,968
Hey, good news,
139
00:06:05,968 --> 00:06:08,300
Jen's gonna make her famous
fried clams again.
140
00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:10,868
That is good news.
141
00:06:10,868 --> 00:06:12,367
Yeah, they're not in season,
142
00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:14,033
but you can get anything
in Chinatown.
143
00:06:14,033 --> 00:06:16,400
And they'll go great with
Chuck's latest batch of beer.
144
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:17,934
He's flavoring it
with fruit now.
145
00:06:17,934 --> 00:06:20,434
He's bringing raspberry.
146
00:06:20,434 --> 00:06:23,033
Homemade raspberry beer
147
00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:24,868
and black market clams?
148
00:06:24,868 --> 00:06:26,767
That sounds great.
Yeah.
149
00:06:26,767 --> 00:06:28,734
Tell Chuck to bring
an extra jug
150
00:06:28,734 --> 00:06:30,300
because I'm gonna be
mighty thirs...
151
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:32,534
Hold on a second.
152
00:06:32,534 --> 00:06:33,534
Oh, no, no, no.
153
00:06:33,534 --> 00:06:36,000
You gotta be kidding me.
154
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,234
What's the matter?
Stupid client of mine,
155
00:06:38,234 --> 00:06:40,834
Jackson Farnsworth, wants me
to meet him in Atlantic City
156
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,300
this Saturday night.
Damn it.
157
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:43,868
I'm gonna miss your dinner.
158
00:06:43,868 --> 00:06:47,801
Jeff, I am sure
you can get out of it.
159
00:06:47,801 --> 00:06:50,400
I'm sure that I can't.
160
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,434
Well, I mean, at least
Audrey can make it.
161
00:06:53,434 --> 00:06:54,868
Oh, no.
You jinxed it.
162
00:06:54,868 --> 00:06:56,601
Now he wants Audrey
to come too.
163
00:06:56,601 --> 00:06:58,100
Turns out he's bringing
his wife,
164
00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:00,801
and insists we all
go out for stone crabs.
165
00:07:00,801 --> 00:07:02,100
Oh, no, that's too bad.
166
00:07:04,033 --> 00:07:08,367
Well, I guess we don't need
the table anymore.
167
00:07:08,367 --> 00:07:11,234
And I was so looking forward
to getting my clams on.
168
00:07:11,234 --> 00:07:13,200
I'll tell you what.
I'll save you some clams,
169
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,367
you can just re-heat them.
170
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:16,267
You better.
171
00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:20,067
I don't believe you.
172
00:07:21,467 --> 00:07:23,400
Well, they did.
173
00:07:26,801 --> 00:07:28,567
Just give me the wine.
174
00:07:29,968 --> 00:07:32,133
"From Jeff and Audrey"?
175
00:07:32,133 --> 00:07:34,200
Jeff, you wrote on the label?
176
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,234
This was expensive.
177
00:07:36,234 --> 00:07:38,300
I want credit for being classy.
178
00:07:43,801 --> 00:07:46,267
Whoa.
It's gorgeous.
179
00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:48,801
I bet you there's
not a clam in the room.
180
00:07:51,467 --> 00:07:53,167
We should go find
Brad and Jackie.
181
00:07:53,167 --> 00:07:55,767
Good idea. Let's start
our hunt at the bar.
182
00:08:01,467 --> 00:08:04,067
Oh, crap, we're supposed
to bring something?
183
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:06,133
Yes. The bottle of wine
I purchased
184
00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:08,767
that you drank in the cab
on the way over.
185
00:08:08,767 --> 00:08:11,634
Yeah, well, the conversation
wasn't exactly doing it for me.
186
00:08:12,968 --> 00:08:15,234
Oh, this is good stuff.
187
00:08:15,234 --> 00:08:16,400
Hey, Russell.
188
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,334
Oh, hey, Brad.
189
00:08:18,334 --> 00:08:21,334
Hey, here's something
I just picked up.
190
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,067
Just put it on the table.
191
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,534
Oh, it goes right here.
192
00:08:25,534 --> 00:08:27,667
Okay, I see how
that works. All right.
193
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:30,634
Hey, uh, by the way,
thanks for having me.
194
00:08:30,634 --> 00:08:32,300
Well, it's hard
to say no to someone
195
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:33,634
whose assistant followed me
196
00:08:33,634 --> 00:08:36,767
around town
on a bicycle begging.
197
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:40,934
Yes, rather tricky day,
what with all the lightning.
198
00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:44,367
Just remember, I only
agreed to let Russell come
199
00:08:44,367 --> 00:08:46,300
because you promised
to keep an eye on him.
200
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:47,934
These are my friends
and colleagues,
201
00:08:47,934 --> 00:08:50,634
so they deserve
not to be sexually harassed.
202
00:08:50,634 --> 00:08:53,200
I can assure you, sir,
he'll be a perfect gentleman.
203
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,267
I'll settle for him keeping his
pants on the whole time.
204
00:08:56,267 --> 00:08:59,033
Hm. Didn't realize you
set the bar quite so high.
205
00:08:59,033 --> 00:09:00,968
I'll do my best.
206
00:09:00,968 --> 00:09:03,501
Now, Mr. Dunbar,
we have to establish some rules.
207
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:06,167
Oh, dear me.
208
00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:08,767
This is unbelievable.
I know. Do me a favor.
209
00:09:08,767 --> 00:09:11,467
When I die,
bury me at this party.
210
00:09:13,367 --> 00:09:14,367
Oh, no.
211
00:09:15,501 --> 00:09:16,567
Hey, what the hell?
212
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:21,968
What are you doing?
213
00:09:21,968 --> 00:09:24,467
My Scotch is out there.
214
00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:27,000
Look.
215
00:09:29,467 --> 00:09:31,100
Yeah, I know, I see it.
Single malt,
216
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:33,234
right there on the bar.
217
00:09:33,234 --> 00:09:35,367
Adam and Jennifer are here.
218
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,334
Oh, wow,
219
00:09:37,334 --> 00:09:40,100
Chuck Bennett bored them
right out of their own party.
220
00:09:41,534 --> 00:09:44,033
You happy? Look where
your stupid lie got us.
221
00:09:44,033 --> 00:09:46,300
God, if they catch us,
I am gonna be mortified.
222
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:47,567
Why did I go along with this?
223
00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:48,734
At least you have a drink.
224
00:09:48,734 --> 00:09:50,200
Let me take a look and see if
225
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,267
there's an escape route.
226
00:09:53,501 --> 00:09:55,434
Oh, crap.
What? What?
227
00:09:55,434 --> 00:09:58,334
Someone took my Scotch.
228
00:10:05,501 --> 00:10:07,067
Hey, Timmy,
what are you doing here?
229
00:10:07,067 --> 00:10:09,968
Turns out, I'm in charge of
making sure Mr. Dunbar here
230
00:10:09,968 --> 00:10:11,167
keeps his pants on.
231
00:10:11,167 --> 00:10:13,501
Ha-ha-ha!
Good luck.
232
00:10:13,501 --> 00:10:15,567
Timmy, why don't you
go get us some drinks?
233
00:10:15,567 --> 00:10:18,834
Ah, a fitting
use of my M.B.A.
234
00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:20,467
I love that British
sense of humor.
235
00:10:20,467 --> 00:10:22,234
I'm from South Africa.
236
00:10:22,234 --> 00:10:23,400
You always say that.
237
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,000
Because you always
say I'm British.
238
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,534
Oh. This is why I drank
in the cab.
239
00:10:28,534 --> 00:10:30,100
What are you two
losers doing here?
240
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:32,200
Thought you were having
some lame dinner party.
241
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,100
And you wonder
why we didn't invite you.
242
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:37,033
I thought you'd invite me
because you liked me.
243
00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:39,467
Jeff and Audrey had to go
to Atlantic City
244
00:10:39,467 --> 00:10:40,901
and the other couples canceled.
245
00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:42,767
It's too bad because
we were gonna have...
246
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,300
Uh-huh.
Pretty girl.
247
00:10:48,701 --> 00:10:50,601
Listen, I don't care
what it costs,
248
00:10:50,601 --> 00:10:52,968
if it's helps
the environment, I'm in.
249
00:10:52,968 --> 00:10:54,601
Yeah. No.
250
00:10:54,601 --> 00:10:56,167
You pay that!
251
00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:58,634
Get the oil off
those little baby ducks.
252
00:10:58,634 --> 00:11:00,734
Ah!
253
00:11:01,934 --> 00:11:03,934
These people, I can't even...
254
00:11:03,934 --> 00:11:06,334
So sorry, I was yelling.
Hi, I'm Russell.
255
00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:09,400
Hi, I'm Martina.
256
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,634
Oh, my God, that accent.
Where are you from?
257
00:11:11,634 --> 00:11:13,000
The Czech Republic.
258
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,234
Oh. Well, then:
"Czech, please."
259
00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:18,767
I must tell you,
I have a boyfriend.
260
00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:20,601
Oh, well, you should.
You're gorgeous.
261
00:11:20,601 --> 00:11:22,501
Such a great body.
What's your secret?
262
00:11:22,501 --> 00:11:26,133
Well, I make good decisions
about what I put in my body.
263
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:28,434
Oh, I'd like to be
one of those good decisions.
264
00:11:30,033 --> 00:11:32,934
My boyfriend
is right over there.
265
00:11:32,934 --> 00:11:35,934
Look, I can't see anyone
past Jerry Rice over there.
266
00:11:35,934 --> 00:11:37,767
It is Jerry Rice.
267
00:11:37,767 --> 00:11:40,167
Yikes.
268
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:44,300
Martina, is this guy
hitting on you?
269
00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:46,434
I think that's
what he's trying to do.
270
00:11:46,434 --> 00:11:48,033
What?
271
00:11:48,033 --> 00:11:50,000
Martina, Jerry,
is everything okay?
272
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,901
You know, Brad,
I came to this party to chill.
273
00:11:51,901 --> 00:11:54,434
And all of a sudden this
little talking chihuahua
274
00:11:54,434 --> 00:11:57,968
started humping my lady's leg.
275
00:11:59,634 --> 00:12:00,801
Why would you do that?
276
00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:02,367
Yeah, why?
Why?
277
00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:04,267
I didn't...
I wasn't hitting on her.
278
00:12:04,267 --> 00:12:06,000
Doesn't even makes sense.
279
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,300
Here's your drink, sir.
280
00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,601
Yeah, just ask my boyfriend.
281
00:12:09,601 --> 00:12:10,801
What?
282
00:12:10,801 --> 00:12:12,634
You're gay?
Please,
283
00:12:12,634 --> 00:12:15,033
tell 'em what I did you
last night.
284
00:12:17,601 --> 00:12:19,367
Please, I beg you, sir.
285
00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:21,467
You sure did.
Ha-ha-ha.
286
00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:25,434
I can't believe
we're trapped in here.
287
00:12:25,434 --> 00:12:27,801
Don't worry, I'm working on a
story to get us out of here.
288
00:12:27,801 --> 00:12:30,334
Farnsworth ate a bad crab.
289
00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:32,434
He's being medevaced
back to the city,
290
00:12:32,434 --> 00:12:35,400
Bob the pilot
is letting us ride jump seat.
291
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,167
Wow. You really put
a lot of thought into those.
292
00:12:38,167 --> 00:12:40,901
The key to a good lie is
in the odd, specific details.
293
00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:44,167
Jackson Farnsworth,
stone crabs, medevac.
294
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:46,200
Wait a minute.
Wasn't Jackson Farnsworth
295
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,000
your old college buddy,
296
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,901
who was really upset
about his divorce
297
00:12:49,901 --> 00:12:52,200
so you had to console him
instead of going out to dinner
298
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,501
with me and my parents?
299
00:12:53,501 --> 00:12:56,501
Different one.
It's a fairly common name.
300
00:12:56,501 --> 00:12:59,167
Oh, man, you actually
used this crap on me?
301
00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:01,200
Okay, first of all,
it was a playoff game.
302
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,033
And I only lied so
you wouldn't get upset.
303
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:06,367
And you don't really wanna
know the truth about everything.
304
00:13:06,367 --> 00:13:07,400
Yes, I do.
305
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,767
You wanna know
the truth? Fine.
306
00:13:08,767 --> 00:13:11,334
Ask me again.
"Did I overcook the lasagna?"
307
00:13:11,334 --> 00:13:13,901
"Does this dress
makes me look boxy?"
308
00:13:13,901 --> 00:13:15,968
"Did you kill that giant spider
in the bathtub?"
309
00:13:15,968 --> 00:13:18,701
You didn't kill
that giant spider?
310
00:13:18,701 --> 00:13:21,534
Have you killed any of the giant
spiders since I've known you?
311
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:22,868
Not really.
312
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:26,000
But I did call the exterminator
313
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,467
the time that you asked me to.
314
00:13:27,467 --> 00:13:29,200
All right.
315
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,200
Oh, Farnsworth Exterminators?
316
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,968
Damn it!
317
00:13:34,167 --> 00:13:35,767
Go. Go, go.
318
00:13:38,167 --> 00:13:40,868
Another bedroom.
This place is huge.
319
00:13:40,868 --> 00:13:43,834
Hey. You wanna do it
on the coats?
320
00:13:43,834 --> 00:13:46,100
Adam Rhodes, you filthy perv.
321
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:49,067
Ah!
We have to get out of here.
322
00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:51,367
Right after the show.
323
00:13:52,734 --> 00:13:54,767
Okay, let's go back out there.
324
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:57,467
Oh. You mean,
we're not really gonna...
325
00:13:57,467 --> 00:13:58,968
You were serious?
326
00:14:00,133 --> 00:14:01,133
No.
327
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,501
No show.
328
00:14:08,234 --> 00:14:09,834
What a tease.
329
00:14:11,133 --> 00:14:12,267
Hey, I just got an idea.
330
00:14:12,267 --> 00:14:13,501
No.
331
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,701
Hm.
332
00:14:16,701 --> 00:14:18,667
All right, I'm going in
for the kill. Cover me.
333
00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:19,701
Fine.
334
00:14:19,701 --> 00:14:20,868
Don't forget, you're gay.
335
00:14:20,868 --> 00:14:21,801
Hm.
336
00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:28,367
Gayer.
337
00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:36,467
Hi, I'm Russell.
338
00:14:36,467 --> 00:14:38,167
Hi, I'm...
Listen, I don't have the time
339
00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:40,000
I normally would
to put into seducing you,
340
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,467
so why don't you just pretend
that you found me adorable,
341
00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:44,334
I pumped you full of drinks,
342
00:14:44,334 --> 00:14:47,467
and you agreed to come
back to my place, and, uh...
343
00:14:47,467 --> 00:14:49,133
And what?
344
00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:53,501
And watch the box set
of Sex and the City.
345
00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:56,901
I'm such a Carrie.
It's not even funny.
346
00:14:56,901 --> 00:14:59,267
And you're a Samantha,
you know you are.
347
00:14:59,267 --> 00:15:01,734
He's so insatiable.
It's sex, sex, sex,
348
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,934
all the time with this one.
349
00:15:02,934 --> 00:15:05,567
It's gay sex.
And we like it.
350
00:15:05,567 --> 00:15:06,667
Oh, well, actually...
351
00:15:07,834 --> 00:15:10,501
Oh, shoot, that was close.
352
00:15:10,501 --> 00:15:11,701
Yes.
353
00:15:11,701 --> 00:15:14,000
Could have been
terribly embarrassing.
354
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,400
Saw you two coming
out of our bedroom before.
355
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,767
You guys weren't rolling around
on the coats, were you?
356
00:15:19,767 --> 00:15:21,334
No.
357
00:15:21,334 --> 00:15:23,300
No.
358
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:27,934
Hello?
359
00:15:27,934 --> 00:15:30,000
Hey, I need you
to go over to our place
360
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,868
check and see if the wife
left the stove on.
361
00:15:31,868 --> 00:15:33,667
We're all the way out here
in Atlantic City
362
00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:35,701
and she's in a tizzy.
363
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:38,167
Yeah, sure, I'll go
check it out right now.
364
00:15:38,167 --> 00:15:39,767
How's it going down there?
Good.
365
00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:41,367
Playing roulette.
Oh, yeah?
366
00:15:41,367 --> 00:15:43,267
Hey, uh,
put 20 on black for me.
367
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:44,501
Uh, black?
368
00:15:44,501 --> 00:15:45,534
Sure.
369
00:15:45,534 --> 00:15:46,534
Just put it down.
370
00:15:46,534 --> 00:15:47,868
Del just spun the wheel.
371
00:15:47,868 --> 00:15:49,367
He's from Margate, Florida,
372
00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:51,267
got a pencil-thin mustache.
373
00:15:52,968 --> 00:15:54,701
The ball's landing and...
374
00:15:54,701 --> 00:15:55,701
Oh, red!
375
00:15:55,701 --> 00:15:57,734
You lose.
Damn.
376
00:15:57,734 --> 00:15:59,300
Double or nothing.
377
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:01,701
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, black again.
378
00:16:01,701 --> 00:16:03,701
Okay, spinning, and...
Oh, red.
379
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:04,868
You lose again.
380
00:16:04,868 --> 00:16:06,367
Damn.
381
00:16:06,367 --> 00:16:07,734
This just isn't your night.
382
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:10,200
Hey, thanks for checking
on the stove.
383
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,467
You've got a problem.
Hey.
384
00:16:12,467 --> 00:16:15,100
I'm not the one who couldn't
walk away from the table.
385
00:16:17,133 --> 00:16:19,801
Oh, I just got an
important call from Jeff.
386
00:16:19,801 --> 00:16:22,901
He needs us to...
Oh, little cakes.
387
00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:27,000
He's just standing there
eating little cakes.
388
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,601
Our apartment's
filling with gas,
389
00:16:28,601 --> 00:16:31,367
it could blow at any minute.
390
00:16:31,367 --> 00:16:34,367
You're starting
to believe your own lies.
391
00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:37,167
I'm that good.
392
00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:39,467
Hold on. Jerry Rice
is going in motion.
393
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,834
He's setting a block for us.
394
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:45,367
Come on, we got an open field.
Let's go, go, go.
395
00:17:02,634 --> 00:17:04,934
Timmy, why are you pouting
in the corner?
396
00:17:04,934 --> 00:17:09,167
Why am I pouting in the corner?
397
00:17:11,567 --> 00:17:13,667
Well, sir, it might be because
398
00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:16,367
they're out of the bacon-wrapped
scallops I so enjoy.
399
00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:18,567
Or perhaps it's because
everyone in the room
400
00:17:18,567 --> 00:17:20,701
thinks I'm a voracious,
insatiable homosexual
401
00:17:20,701 --> 00:17:23,000
who can't do any better
than you.
402
00:17:24,934 --> 00:17:26,534
I get why you're angry.
403
00:17:26,534 --> 00:17:28,667
Now I'll see if they have
more scallops.
404
00:17:28,667 --> 00:17:31,467
It's the second one!
405
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:36,667
You know what? I am tired
of being your boy toy.
406
00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:38,868
Goodbye.
407
00:17:38,868 --> 00:17:41,400
You know what? You've been
squawking all night, you bore!
408
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,901
Go back to England!
409
00:17:42,901 --> 00:17:47,634
I am from
South-freaking-Africa!
410
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:52,067
Oh, hello.
411
00:17:52,067 --> 00:17:53,400
Hey, tough break, little man.
412
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,067
Looks like your
boyfriend dumped you.
413
00:17:55,067 --> 00:17:57,968
Oh, yeah, him. He's...
We've been having problems.
414
00:17:57,968 --> 00:17:59,000
You know what you need?
415
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,801
You need to get
right back on the horse.
416
00:18:00,801 --> 00:18:03,667
Matt, come here.
417
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:05,834
Oh, God, is that the horse?
418
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:08,400
Matt, this is Russell.
419
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:09,801
I think you're gonna like Matt.
420
00:18:09,801 --> 00:18:12,234
He's a big Samantha too.
421
00:18:14,667 --> 00:18:16,367
Oh.
422
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:24,767
At least we had those
bacon-wrapped scallops
423
00:18:24,767 --> 00:18:26,100
you smuggled out.
424
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,734
By the way,
where did you hide them?
425
00:18:27,734 --> 00:18:30,067
Oh, see, that right there
is an instance
426
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,033
of where you want me to lie.
427
00:18:34,734 --> 00:18:37,200
Hey, what are
you guys doing here?
428
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,567
We came to check the stove.
429
00:18:39,567 --> 00:18:41,067
What are you doing here?
430
00:18:41,067 --> 00:18:43,234
I thought you guys were
in Atlantic City.
431
00:18:43,234 --> 00:18:45,601
Yeah, well, see, ahem.
432
00:18:45,601 --> 00:18:47,934
What happened was, we, um...
433
00:18:47,934 --> 00:18:50,767
Jackson Farnsworth.
434
00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:53,133
It, uh...
It was my fault.
435
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,868
Uh, I was worried about
the gas,
436
00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:57,234
and then I wasn't sure if
you guys would take care of it,
437
00:18:57,234 --> 00:18:59,634
so I made Jeff race home.
438
00:18:59,634 --> 00:19:01,467
Poor guy.
439
00:19:01,467 --> 00:19:03,901
I wouldn't even let him
stop to go to the bathroom.
440
00:19:03,901 --> 00:19:05,567
He had to pee in
an iced tea bottle.
441
00:19:05,567 --> 00:19:07,267
Really?
442
00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:10,067
Diet peach.
443
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:11,367
And you know what?
444
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,734
The stove was on.
445
00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:15,501
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
446
00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:17,067
I got distracted.
447
00:19:17,067 --> 00:19:18,834
Damn you, tiny cakes.
448
00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:22,601
Well, it's okay.
No one got hurt.
449
00:19:22,601 --> 00:19:24,701
This time.
450
00:19:25,901 --> 00:19:27,200
We'll see you guys tomorrow.
451
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,367
Yeah.
Oh, hey, by the way,
452
00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:31,567
we had to cancel the dinner
party with the Bennetts,
453
00:19:31,567 --> 00:19:33,634
but we're gonna reschedule.
You better.
454
00:19:37,601 --> 00:19:39,467
Iced tea bottle, diet peach?
455
00:19:39,467 --> 00:19:42,133
Nice odd, specific details.
456
00:19:42,133 --> 00:19:44,200
I don't know
where that came from.
457
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,601
Hey, you've been observing
the master all these years.
458
00:19:47,601 --> 00:19:50,701
It turns out you're
kind of a natural.
459
00:19:50,701 --> 00:19:53,000
Maybe.
460
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,267
But how about from now on
we make an agreement, right?
461
00:19:55,267 --> 00:19:57,567
We only use our lying skills
on the outside world,
462
00:19:57,567 --> 00:19:59,367
not on each other.
You got a deal.
463
00:19:59,367 --> 00:20:02,033
And in that spirit,
the giant spider
464
00:20:02,033 --> 00:20:04,133
did not go crawl into
a pair of your shoes.
465
00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:05,367
Aw.
466
00:20:05,367 --> 00:20:07,367
It went into those slippers.
467
00:20:07,367 --> 00:20:09,567
Oh! Ew, ew, ew, ew!
468
00:20:14,801 --> 00:20:16,033
Oh, you just wanna split it?
469
00:20:16,033 --> 00:20:17,901
Well, you kind of still owe me
470
00:20:17,901 --> 00:20:19,701
for those roulette bets
I placed for you.
471
00:20:19,701 --> 00:20:21,534
Oh, right.
472
00:20:21,534 --> 00:20:24,534
I really thought you were gonna
win that second spin.
473
00:20:24,534 --> 00:20:26,067
It landed in the black
474
00:20:26,067 --> 00:20:28,567
but it just popped out
the last second.
475
00:20:31,934 --> 00:20:32,968
Hey, guys.
476
00:20:32,968 --> 00:20:34,567
Hey.
Hey.
477
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,601
Oh, thank you, guys
for coming to our party.
478
00:20:36,601 --> 00:20:38,000
We had such a great time.
479
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,067
And I'm sorry we didn't
get to talk last night.
480
00:20:40,067 --> 00:20:41,567
Where were you two hiding?
481
00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:43,968
Actually, we weren't there.
We went to Atlantic City.
482
00:20:43,968 --> 00:20:46,033
But we got the bottle
of wine you brought.
483
00:20:46,033 --> 00:20:48,334
We didn't bring any wine.
We didn't go.
484
00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:49,734
It was clearly labeled:
485
00:20:49,734 --> 00:20:51,334
"From Jeff and Audrey."
486
00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:52,601
Very classy.
487
00:20:54,367 --> 00:20:56,133
Wait, you guys
were at their party?
488
00:20:57,701 --> 00:20:59,367
Just...
489
00:20:59,367 --> 00:21:01,434
I believe
490
00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:02,834
this is yours.
34940
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