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1
00:00:03,734 --> 00:00:04,834
Hey.
2
00:00:04,834 --> 00:00:06,267
How'd you do in your game?
Good.
3
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:10,167
Three hits, four hot dogs,
five beers.
4
00:00:10,167 --> 00:00:11,167
Nice.
5
00:00:11,167 --> 00:00:12,267
What am I looking at here?
6
00:00:12,267 --> 00:00:13,901
Where?
Down here. This thing
7
00:00:13,901 --> 00:00:15,868
is blocking my view
of the floor.
8
00:00:15,868 --> 00:00:17,667
Just a little area rug.
9
00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:19,067
I picked it up this morning.
10
00:00:19,067 --> 00:00:20,968
All right, so I know what it is
and who did it.
11
00:00:20,968 --> 00:00:23,567
Still haven't
established a motive.
12
00:00:23,567 --> 00:00:25,767
I've been thinking
it would be nice
13
00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:27,334
to add a little color
to our kitchen.
14
00:00:27,334 --> 00:00:29,434
So this morning I saw that,
thought it worked well,
15
00:00:29,434 --> 00:00:30,467
so I bought it.
16
00:00:30,467 --> 00:00:31,734
What'd they get you for?
17
00:00:31,734 --> 00:00:34,868
They didn't "get me", babe,
it cost $80.
18
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:37,300
Oh, they got you.
19
00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:39,534
I thought it was pretty, okay?
20
00:00:39,534 --> 00:00:41,300
It's an extension of my style.
21
00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:44,334
Your style wasn't long enough?
22
00:00:44,334 --> 00:00:46,501
Can't I do things to make
our home more pleasant
23
00:00:46,501 --> 00:00:49,167
without every time having
to go through this?
24
00:00:49,167 --> 00:00:51,934
Hey, I have to hear
that speech every time.
25
00:00:51,934 --> 00:00:53,300
You're right, Jeff.
You know,
26
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:55,033
why make our apartment nicer?
27
00:00:55,033 --> 00:00:56,133
Why buy things?
28
00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:58,434
Why have art?
Why do anything?
29
00:00:58,434 --> 00:01:00,067
That's all I'm saying.
30
00:01:04,834 --> 00:01:08,334
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪
31
00:01:10,067 --> 00:01:14,234
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
32
00:01:14,234 --> 00:01:16,968
♪ With you by my side ♪
33
00:01:16,968 --> 00:01:19,567
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
34
00:01:19,567 --> 00:01:22,434
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
35
00:01:27,067 --> 00:01:28,567
I'll have three eggs:
36
00:01:28,567 --> 00:01:30,434
One sunny-side up,
the other over easy,
37
00:01:30,434 --> 00:01:31,534
and the third,
38
00:01:31,534 --> 00:01:33,200
surprise me.
39
00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:38,033
Surprise! Your
cholesterol's a million.
40
00:01:38,033 --> 00:01:40,000
You can just have them
make it with egg whites.
41
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,834
Sorry.
42
00:01:44,834 --> 00:01:47,467
Oh, and half a dozen
brownies to go.
43
00:01:47,467 --> 00:01:50,367
No, I said
I would bake brownies.
44
00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:51,801
Jeff's dad's coming
for a visit,
45
00:01:51,801 --> 00:01:53,834
which means I have
to put on an apron
46
00:01:53,834 --> 00:01:57,067
and make dessert
for the menfolk.
47
00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:58,434
Where's he coming in from?
48
00:01:58,434 --> 00:02:00,167
Nineteen-fifty seven.
49
00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:02,267
Hey. Is it
asking too much
50
00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:04,033
we make him feel
at home in our apartment?
51
00:02:04,033 --> 00:02:05,167
Oh, Fine.
Thank you.
52
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:06,734
Just don't forget
you have an actual
53
00:02:06,734 --> 00:02:09,400
modern-day wife, okay?
Let me say that I swear
54
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,834
on the souls of
my grandchildren
55
00:02:11,834 --> 00:02:13,701
that I will not be
the one to break the peace
56
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:16,100
that we have made here today.
57
00:02:17,367 --> 00:02:19,167
Why's he looking at me?
58
00:02:20,467 --> 00:02:22,734
The Godfather?
59
00:02:22,734 --> 00:02:24,067
Oh, no.
I never saw it.
60
00:02:24,067 --> 00:02:25,634
You've never seen
The Godfather?
61
00:02:25,634 --> 00:02:27,534
Oh, here we go.
62
00:02:27,534 --> 00:02:29,434
My parents were hippies.
They didn't want me
63
00:02:29,434 --> 00:02:31,434
to watch anything violent.
Close your eyes,
64
00:02:31,434 --> 00:02:33,367
because I'm gonna punch you
in the face.
65
00:02:35,434 --> 00:02:38,434
All my friendships are based on
the shared love
66
00:02:38,434 --> 00:02:40,534
of the greatest film
of all time.
67
00:02:40,534 --> 00:02:42,100
I've been trying
to get Adam to watch.
68
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:44,667
Gone With the Wind
since we met.
69
00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:47,033
If you have any hope for
the future of our friendship,
70
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:49,868
you'll make this right.
71
00:02:49,868 --> 00:02:52,968
Your... Your breath
is really warm.
72
00:02:56,267 --> 00:02:59,868
Now look, the little kid
from Jerry Maguire grew up.
73
00:03:04,968 --> 00:03:07,100
Easy, Stonehenge.
I'm in no mood.
74
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,367
Aw.
75
00:03:08,367 --> 00:03:11,467
Which ride were you not
tall enough to go on?
76
00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:14,067
All right, listen,
so I had a date last night.
77
00:03:14,067 --> 00:03:15,868
And it's pretty normal,
chat, chat, chat,
78
00:03:15,868 --> 00:03:17,033
drink, drink, drink,
79
00:03:17,033 --> 00:03:19,634
we go back to my place,
everything comes off,
80
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:22,801
"Oh, I needs it.",
"Well, oh, I gots it."
81
00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:30,634
Game over, thanks for playing.
82
00:03:30,634 --> 00:03:33,367
I'm assuming
that was all in real time.
83
00:03:33,367 --> 00:03:35,868
The problem is,
I wake up this morning,
84
00:03:35,868 --> 00:03:38,234
she's still there.
85
00:03:40,067 --> 00:03:42,400
You should have paid
her in advance.
86
00:03:43,534 --> 00:03:45,100
You must have
been in a bad accident.
87
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,734
Looks like both airbags
deployed.
88
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,968
So, uh, it's kind
of understood,
89
00:03:51,968 --> 00:03:53,400
when a girl sleeps with me,
90
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,801
she slinks out in the middle
of the night before I get up.
91
00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:57,200
It's called
the "walk of shame,"
92
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,334
not the "lie there in bed
next to me of shame."
93
00:04:01,734 --> 00:04:03,801
So... So, what'd
you do?
94
00:04:03,801 --> 00:04:05,868
So when she got in the shower
I made a break for it.
95
00:04:05,868 --> 00:04:08,234
Wait, what happens
when she gets out of the shower?
96
00:04:08,234 --> 00:04:10,767
Ideally, she sees I'm gone,
97
00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:13,100
gets the hint,
and hightails it out of there
98
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:16,701
wondering what happened to her
life and her pa-pa-panties.
99
00:04:22,701 --> 00:04:24,534
So we drive it
all the way back,
100
00:04:24,534 --> 00:04:26,167
we got one deer strapped
to the roof,
101
00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:27,567
two tied to the sides,
102
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,667
and one propped up
in the back seat
103
00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:31,067
wearing sunglasses. Uh?
104
00:04:32,434 --> 00:04:34,200
It was hilarious.
105
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,701
God, I wish I had been there.
106
00:04:35,701 --> 00:04:37,434
It's a funny story, huh, Aud?
107
00:04:37,434 --> 00:04:41,067
Yes, what makes it funny
is... Is the high body count
108
00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:43,300
of defenseless animals.
109
00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:45,167
Yeah.
110
00:04:48,868 --> 00:04:50,901
I gotta tell you,
it's really nice being here.
111
00:04:50,901 --> 00:04:52,400
Boy, you're looking great,
champ.
112
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,234
I'm glad your business
is doing so well.
113
00:04:54,234 --> 00:04:57,767
And Audrey, you're a gal who
knows her way around a steak.
114
00:04:57,767 --> 00:04:59,300
Oh, well, thanks, Roy.
115
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,434
I don't know if Jeff
mentioned it, but, you know,
116
00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:02,701
I got a promotion at work.
117
00:05:02,701 --> 00:05:04,400
Attagirl. What'd you use
for marinate?
118
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,868
Some kind of teriyaki?
119
00:05:05,868 --> 00:05:07,868
Dad, remember you used
to take us to Benihana's
120
00:05:07,868 --> 00:05:08,868
all the time?
Yeah.
121
00:05:08,868 --> 00:05:11,100
Hey, that was
some good Chinese.
122
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:12,934
It's actually Japanese.
123
00:05:12,934 --> 00:05:15,033
That's what all those
waiters said too.
124
00:05:16,534 --> 00:05:18,534
How about getting me
another beer, sweetie?
125
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,834
You know what, Roy?
126
00:05:21,834 --> 00:05:24,501
Jeff and I really want you
to feel at home here.
127
00:05:24,501 --> 00:05:27,434
So please, feel free,
any time you want,
128
00:05:27,434 --> 00:05:28,934
just go walk right
into the kitchen
129
00:05:28,934 --> 00:05:30,133
and get yourself a beer...
130
00:05:30,133 --> 00:05:31,501
I'll get it for you.
131
00:05:31,501 --> 00:05:34,767
No, no, she's right.
She's right.
132
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:37,868
Two tours in 'Nam,
I can certainly get my own beer.
133
00:05:37,868 --> 00:05:40,234
Be right back.
134
00:05:41,434 --> 00:05:43,000
You see that?
135
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,834
People can change.
136
00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:46,434
All it takes is a little
encouragement
137
00:05:46,434 --> 00:05:47,801
from the right person.
138
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:52,467
Aw! Oh!
139
00:05:52,467 --> 00:05:54,567
Pop, what happened?
140
00:05:54,567 --> 00:05:57,000
Stupid rug.
141
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,734
Thank God the Vietcong
didn't have these.
142
00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:11,033
This is my new favorite movie.
143
00:06:12,467 --> 00:06:15,467
Ooh, take that, Sisterhood
of the Traveling Pants.
144
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,000
Whoa. Pause it.
145
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,067
Oh, no it's my doorman Ernesto.
146
00:06:23,067 --> 00:06:25,167
Heather's still at my place.
147
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:28,267
Looks like we got us a stayer.
148
00:06:29,434 --> 00:06:30,667
What's a stayer?
149
00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:32,601
Uh, how do I put this
150
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,834
in a way that's not
demeaning to women?
151
00:06:34,834 --> 00:06:37,767
Are you familiar
with barnacles?
152
00:06:38,801 --> 00:06:39,968
Okay, I get it.
153
00:06:39,968 --> 00:06:41,634
Yeah, you know what,
it's my own fault.
154
00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:42,701
I'm too nice.
155
00:06:42,701 --> 00:06:44,634
Time to scrape the hull.
156
00:06:45,501 --> 00:06:46,767
What are you going to do?
157
00:06:46,767 --> 00:06:48,567
I'm gonna have my
super shut off the water.
158
00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:51,267
Oh, you wanna dance, Heather?
We'll dance.
159
00:06:51,267 --> 00:06:54,634
I just hope dancing
doesn't make you thirsty.
160
00:06:54,634 --> 00:06:57,100
What are you guys...?
161
00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:59,067
The Godfather?
Really?
162
00:06:59,067 --> 00:07:01,200
What?
I've been begging you to watch.
163
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,300
Gone With the Wind forever,
and you blow me off.
164
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,968
Jeff tells you to watch
The Godfather,
165
00:07:04,968 --> 00:07:07,167
and you rent it
like you're his bitch?
166
00:07:09,367 --> 00:07:11,234
I'm not his bitch.
167
00:07:11,234 --> 00:07:13,300
He just makes me
do stuff sometimes.
168
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,734
You wanted me to go to the
X Games with you, I did.
169
00:07:17,734 --> 00:07:20,534
You wanted me to play paintball
with you, I did.
170
00:07:20,534 --> 00:07:22,000
And you shot me in the neck.
171
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,000
Because you gave away
our position.
172
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,534
My point is, I did it
173
00:07:26,534 --> 00:07:28,968
because it was
important to you.
174
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:32,033
Yikes.
175
00:07:32,033 --> 00:07:33,801
I thought that would never end.
176
00:07:35,467 --> 00:07:36,667
Where are you going?
177
00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:38,167
I'm watching
Gone With the Wind.
178
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:40,634
Why?
Because, Russell, she's right.
179
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:43,000
If it's important to her,
it's important to me.
180
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,801
She's my fiancée.
181
00:07:44,801 --> 00:07:47,467
Oh, fine, let a woman dictate
182
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,267
how you run your life.
183
00:07:49,267 --> 00:07:53,033
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm going...
184
00:07:53,033 --> 00:07:55,300
anywhere but home.
185
00:07:58,901 --> 00:08:00,334
Hey, Audrey, honey?
186
00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:02,734
Yes, Roy?
187
00:08:02,734 --> 00:08:04,934
I got a dead soldier here.
Hit me again, would you?
188
00:08:04,934 --> 00:08:07,133
Sure, yeah.
189
00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:08,701
Did you not like the brownies
I made?
190
00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:10,667
Specifically for you?
191
00:08:10,667 --> 00:08:14,033
Ah. I'm not
a big nut guy.
192
00:08:14,033 --> 00:08:17,033
I guess I could make
you another batch.
193
00:08:17,033 --> 00:08:19,033
Only if it's not
too much trouble.
194
00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:24,400
A little gooier this time,
195
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,534
as long as you're
redoing them, huh?
196
00:08:31,033 --> 00:08:32,133
Hey, Pop.
197
00:08:32,133 --> 00:08:33,400
Hey.
198
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,000
How's that ankle feeling?
199
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,300
Not great.
200
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:38,434
I gotta keep it elevated,
201
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,901
so the beer's
not getting to it.
202
00:08:40,901 --> 00:08:42,300
Where's Audrey?
203
00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:44,400
In her office.
204
00:08:45,667 --> 00:08:47,501
That's a good one.
205
00:08:49,067 --> 00:08:50,868
Hey, Aud.
Hey.
206
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:53,968
Nine brownies in the trash?
207
00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:56,000
Yes, Rain Man.
208
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,167
They were too nutty,
and your dad likes them gooey
209
00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:00,868
I like them cakey.
210
00:09:00,868 --> 00:09:02,501
Explain that.
211
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:05,501
You know,
I am sorry about his ankle,
212
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,701
but in the last hour
I have fetched him beers,
213
00:09:07,701 --> 00:09:10,133
I have made him a sandwich,
I fluffed his pillows
214
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,334
and tracked down the phone
number for Frito-Lay.
215
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:15,367
He had both a question
and a comment.
216
00:09:15,367 --> 00:09:18,634
Aud, it's not like the ankle
thing was his fault.
217
00:09:18,634 --> 00:09:20,234
He's not the one who put out
218
00:09:20,234 --> 00:09:23,234
the $80 rug of death.
219
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:26,133
What a surprise,
you're siding with him.
220
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:28,667
I don't always side with him.
For example,
221
00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:32,067
he likes his brownies gooey,
222
00:09:32,067 --> 00:09:33,434
whereas I like mine...
223
00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:37,367
Cakey.
224
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,200
Hm.
225
00:09:49,834 --> 00:09:51,767
Maybe I should use the old
horse's head trick
226
00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:54,734
to get Heather out of my place.
227
00:09:54,734 --> 00:09:56,234
She's been in bed with you.
228
00:09:56,234 --> 00:09:58,534
I don't think a horse's head
would scare her.
229
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:04,234
Oh. The Godfather.
230
00:10:04,234 --> 00:10:05,734
I see.
231
00:10:05,734 --> 00:10:09,067
The reason we're watching
The Godfather, Jennifer,
232
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,334
is because I finished
Gone With the Wind.
233
00:10:11,334 --> 00:10:13,801
Really? You did?
234
00:10:13,801 --> 00:10:16,100
Mm-hm.
As God is my witness.
235
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:20,200
Oh, yuck, look,
it's skin crawling.
236
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,601
Did you like it?
237
00:10:21,601 --> 00:10:23,667
Oh, yeah.
It was totally sweeping,
238
00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:25,234
and... And epic-y.
239
00:10:25,234 --> 00:10:27,133
"Frankly, my dear,
I don't give a damn."
240
00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:30,200
Screw you, you're the one
who made me watch it.
241
00:10:31,968 --> 00:10:34,667
No, it's from the movie.
At the end.
242
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:37,133
Oh, yeah, the end when she's
never going to be hungry again.
243
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:38,968
No. That's the end
of part one.
244
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:43,734
There... There's a part two?
245
00:10:43,734 --> 00:10:44,901
Yes.
246
00:10:45,934 --> 00:10:47,634
Did you know about this?
247
00:10:47,634 --> 00:10:49,901
I kinda did.
248
00:10:49,901 --> 00:10:52,501
You are gonna love
part two even more.
249
00:10:52,501 --> 00:10:53,767
Watch it while I go to the gym,
250
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:55,300
and then we can talk about it.
251
00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:58,167
Okay,
it's... It's great.
252
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,267
I... I can't do this.
253
00:11:01,267 --> 00:11:04,367
I mean, part one
already stole my youth.
254
00:11:04,367 --> 00:11:05,767
All right, I'll tell you what.
255
00:11:05,767 --> 00:11:07,267
We'll watch the end
of Godfather,
256
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,767
and then I'll summarize
257
00:11:08,767 --> 00:11:10,067
the rest of
Gone With the Wind.
258
00:11:10,067 --> 00:11:11,601
Give you all the key
talking points
259
00:11:11,601 --> 00:11:13,467
so when Jen comes back
you're good to go.
260
00:11:13,467 --> 00:11:15,934
Okay, I... I just can't believe
I'm taking advice
261
00:11:15,934 --> 00:11:19,901
from someone who's trying to
smoke a woman out of the hole.
262
00:11:19,901 --> 00:11:21,834
Oh, my God, thank you.
263
00:11:21,834 --> 00:11:23,367
That's great.
264
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,868
Ernesto,
265
00:11:26,868 --> 00:11:30,934
do you have any smoke bombs
leftover fromCinco de Mayo?
266
00:11:30,934 --> 00:11:33,501
Excellent.
267
00:11:33,501 --> 00:11:34,801
All right, here's what we do.
268
00:11:37,334 --> 00:11:39,234
Thanks, sweetie.
269
00:11:39,234 --> 00:11:40,667
Oh, and Aud.
270
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,400
What do you need, Roy?
271
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,334
Another utensil to scratch
under your boot,
272
00:11:44,334 --> 00:11:47,367
or is the cake knife from our
wedding still doing the trick?
273
00:11:49,033 --> 00:11:50,334
I was just gonna say
274
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:52,801
that I'm sorry for putting you
out like this.
275
00:11:52,801 --> 00:11:55,133
I know you've been busting your
hump for me all day,
276
00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:56,300
and I appreciate it.
277
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,200
Oh, well,
278
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,133
thanks, Roy.
279
00:12:00,133 --> 00:12:03,501
There is actually
just one more little thing,
280
00:12:03,501 --> 00:12:06,334
and then I promise... I promise,
I won't ask for anything else.
281
00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:08,167
Sure.
What is it?
282
00:12:08,167 --> 00:12:10,868
I'm gonna need the info
on your homeowner's policy.
283
00:12:10,868 --> 00:12:12,601
For what?
I got a file to claim
284
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:14,501
on my ankle.
285
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,734
You're suing us?
286
00:12:17,734 --> 00:12:20,133
I'm sorry.
287
00:12:20,133 --> 00:12:21,868
I'll wait till Jeff gets home.
288
00:12:21,868 --> 00:12:24,667
He'll know where
the important papers are.
289
00:12:27,801 --> 00:12:29,000
Hey, you're getting there.
290
00:12:41,167 --> 00:12:42,601
Hey, Pop, Aud.
291
00:12:42,601 --> 00:12:44,300
Hey, Jeff.
292
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:46,067
Dad and I over here
just chatting about
293
00:12:46,067 --> 00:12:47,701
his plans to sue us.
294
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:50,067
What?
It's not suing,
295
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:52,367
it's just one big company
taking money
296
00:12:52,367 --> 00:12:54,234
from another big company.
297
00:12:54,234 --> 00:12:56,467
I mean, these doctor
bills and x-rays,
298
00:12:56,467 --> 00:12:58,133
they're not gonna
pay for themselves.
299
00:12:58,133 --> 00:12:59,601
Yeah, that's true.
300
00:13:01,567 --> 00:13:04,367
That's true?
301
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,767
Jeff, can I see you
in the kitchen?
302
00:13:08,133 --> 00:13:09,300
Careful, son.
303
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:11,334
That rug might be
lying in wait,
304
00:13:11,334 --> 00:13:13,601
like Charlie in a rice paddy.
305
00:13:15,033 --> 00:13:16,501
What's with the green grapes?
306
00:13:16,501 --> 00:13:18,200
I thought we were
red grape people.
307
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,033
Shut up.
Your father is suing us.
308
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,334
This is insane!
309
00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:24,567
Stop yelling,
I don't want Dad to hear.
310
00:13:27,334 --> 00:13:29,534
Hi, can we use your apartment
for just a second?
311
00:13:29,534 --> 00:13:30,634
Sure.
Come on in.
312
00:13:30,634 --> 00:13:32,100
Thanks. How the hell
can you think
313
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,667
this is okay?
A father should not sue
314
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:35,234
his son and
his daughter-in-law!
315
00:13:35,234 --> 00:13:38,234
He's not suing us,
he's just filing a claim.
316
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,334
Oh. Jeff, I am right,
and he is wrong.
317
00:13:40,334 --> 00:13:42,000
Just once, take my side!
318
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,100
It's not personal.
319
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:44,300
It's business.
320
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:46,300
Oh, hey, that's what Tom Hagen
said to Sonny.
321
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:47,501
You watched it.
322
00:13:47,501 --> 00:13:49,167
You made me an offer
I couldn't refuse.
323
00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:50,801
How great is
the restaurant scene...?
324
00:13:50,801 --> 00:13:52,234
Jeff!
Look, there's no need
325
00:13:52,234 --> 00:13:53,634
to get all emotional
about this.
326
00:13:53,634 --> 00:13:55,767
Oh, of course,
the woman is emotional.
327
00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:56,968
You sound just like him.
328
00:13:56,968 --> 00:13:58,367
Hey, I take that
as a compliment.
329
00:13:58,367 --> 00:14:01,367
My father is a great guy.
Yes, in many ways, yes.
330
00:14:01,367 --> 00:14:03,801
But he's always thought
women are inferior.
331
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,701
That's not true.
He's crazy about my mom.
332
00:14:05,701 --> 00:14:08,467
Because she spends all her time
waiting on him hand and foot.
333
00:14:08,467 --> 00:14:10,467
But you know what?
Now you can take care of him.
334
00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:11,801
Because I am done.
335
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,701
You and Jen set
that wedding day yet?
336
00:14:26,334 --> 00:14:28,701
Oh, this is unbelievable.
337
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:29,801
What now?
338
00:14:29,801 --> 00:14:31,601
It's a text from Ernesto.
339
00:14:31,601 --> 00:14:33,234
Smoke bombs are a no go,
340
00:14:33,234 --> 00:14:35,734
but my stayer ordered a pizza.
341
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,467
You're good, Heather.
But I'm better.
342
00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:43,000
Hey, Ernesto, are you hungry?
343
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,267
Take it down.
344
00:14:46,834 --> 00:14:48,200
So?
Hey.
345
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,033
Was the second half
as good as the first?
346
00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:51,033
Oh, even better.
347
00:14:51,033 --> 00:14:52,200
Okay, tell me everything.
348
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,334
What'd you like?
349
00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:55,033
Oh. Well, I thought
it was pretty moving
350
00:14:55,033 --> 00:14:56,200
when Scarlett was reduced
351
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,601
to picking cotton
in the fields.
352
00:14:57,601 --> 00:14:59,100
Oh, I know.
But Tara was
353
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:00,801
that important to her.
I know, I know.
354
00:15:00,801 --> 00:15:03,100
And when she made the dress
out of the curtains?
355
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:06,534
That's probably happening
at my apartment as we speak.
356
00:15:06,534 --> 00:15:08,434
All right, what else?
Well, my favorite was
357
00:15:08,434 --> 00:15:10,234
all that cool stuff that
happened to Rhett
358
00:15:10,234 --> 00:15:12,400
when he went out west
and met the local Sioux tribe.
359
00:15:13,968 --> 00:15:15,100
What?
360
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,868
You know, and they
gradually accept him.
361
00:15:16,868 --> 00:15:18,901
And then he meets that white
woman who was raised
362
00:15:18,901 --> 00:15:22,033
by Indians...
363
00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:23,868
Are you talking about
Dances With Wolves?
364
00:15:23,868 --> 00:15:25,200
No!
365
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,634
You kinda are.
366
00:15:28,634 --> 00:15:30,167
What?
367
00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:33,501
I didn't really saw the end
of Gone With the Wind either.
368
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,200
Why would you do that?
369
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,267
Listen, in my defense,
370
00:15:38,267 --> 00:15:39,901
I wanted to watch
The Godfather,
371
00:15:39,901 --> 00:15:43,300
and I don't care if I create
problems for other people.
372
00:15:48,267 --> 00:15:50,801
Like old times, huh, sport?
373
00:15:50,801 --> 00:15:52,367
Yeah.
374
00:15:52,367 --> 00:15:53,934
When I was little,
375
00:15:53,934 --> 00:15:55,234
I used to sit on your lap
376
00:15:55,234 --> 00:15:57,000
and watch the Mets.
377
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,434
Mm. By the fourth inning,
I couldn't feel my legs.
378
00:16:00,434 --> 00:16:02,400
You were never little, sport.
379
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,200
Yeah, and Mom would
bring you a beer,
380
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,667
and me a root beer.
381
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,167
Remember the time
we got them mixed up?
382
00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:11,234
No.
383
00:16:11,234 --> 00:16:13,300
I'm not surprised.
You were pretty smashed.
384
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:16,767
Speaking of which,
I could use another cold one.
385
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,033
I got you, Pop.
386
00:16:18,033 --> 00:16:21,167
What? Hey, no,
you don't have to do that, son.
387
00:16:21,167 --> 00:16:22,400
Where's Audrey?
388
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,467
Well, she went to the gym.
389
00:16:25,467 --> 00:16:27,200
You know, Pop,
390
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,901
Audrey was kind of put out
by that whole
391
00:16:28,901 --> 00:16:30,868
insurance thing.
392
00:16:30,868 --> 00:16:32,234
I hope she gets back soon.
393
00:16:32,234 --> 00:16:34,701
I'm feeling a little peckish.
394
00:16:34,701 --> 00:16:36,167
I'm sure you heard me.
I was saying
395
00:16:36,167 --> 00:16:38,000
she was upset before.
396
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,100
Well, I'm not surprised.
397
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:40,434
She's like your mom, you know.
398
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:41,834
They tend to get emotional.
399
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,334
Yeah, I did check
with our insurance guy
400
00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:47,234
and he said that our premiums
would probably go up.
401
00:16:47,234 --> 00:16:48,567
Yeah, that's how they get you.
402
00:16:48,567 --> 00:16:52,634
In this case,
that's how they get me.
403
00:16:52,634 --> 00:16:56,167
Hey, she'll still be able
to buy her stupid rugs.
404
00:16:56,167 --> 00:16:57,868
Hey, it's not stupid.
405
00:16:57,868 --> 00:17:00,067
It adds color to the kitchen.
406
00:17:00,067 --> 00:17:02,868
It's an extension
of Audrey's style.
407
00:17:02,868 --> 00:17:04,934
Okay, just get me the beer.
408
00:17:04,934 --> 00:17:06,667
You know what, Pop?
Audrey was right.
409
00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:08,400
About what?
You don't file a claim
410
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,234
against your own family.
411
00:17:10,234 --> 00:17:12,167
And you don't come in here
and treat my wife
412
00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:13,968
like a second-class citizen.
413
00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:16,033
Whoa, this is the way
you talk to your father?
414
00:17:16,033 --> 00:17:17,934
When he's got it coming.
You can act like some
415
00:17:17,934 --> 00:17:20,000
kind of caveman in your own
home, but in our house,
416
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,634
women are equal to men.
They're men with boobs.
417
00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:34,434
Okay, it's official.
418
00:17:34,434 --> 00:17:37,567
Thank you for watching
Gone with the Wind.
419
00:17:37,567 --> 00:17:39,801
So I passed?
Yeah, you got eight,
420
00:17:39,801 --> 00:17:41,634
out of the 10
multiple choice right.
421
00:17:41,634 --> 00:17:45,267
And your essay was solid
but not spectacular.
422
00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:47,968
Hey, guys.
This is Heather.
423
00:17:47,968 --> 00:17:50,167
Heather, this is Adam and Jenn.
424
00:17:50,167 --> 00:17:51,667
I'm gonna go to the ladies.
425
00:17:51,667 --> 00:17:53,934
Can you order me something? I
haven't eaten in so long,
426
00:17:53,934 --> 00:17:55,167
I'm pretty lightheaded.
427
00:17:55,167 --> 00:17:57,267
Yeah, you got it.
Yeah.
428
00:17:59,968 --> 00:18:01,434
So, that's the stayer?
429
00:18:01,434 --> 00:18:02,501
Oh, yeah.
430
00:18:02,501 --> 00:18:05,534
Thirty-seven hours
she stuck it out.
431
00:18:05,534 --> 00:18:07,501
No food, no running water.
432
00:18:07,501 --> 00:18:09,634
Just the clothes on her back.
433
00:18:09,634 --> 00:18:11,567
Wow. So why'd you
finally go home?
434
00:18:11,567 --> 00:18:15,901
Was it the government's new
No Skank Left Behind law?
435
00:18:15,901 --> 00:18:17,000
No, it wasn't.
436
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,667
You know, the longer
she hung in there,
437
00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:21,634
the more impressed I was
with her sheer force of will.
438
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,267
She really earned my respect
and deserves a reward.
439
00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:26,968
Oh, and going out with you
is the reward?
440
00:18:28,801 --> 00:18:31,667
I'm sorry, I was distracted
by the crumb in your mustache.
441
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:35,634
Hey, at least
she can grow a mustache.
442
00:18:35,634 --> 00:18:37,667
Don't help.
443
00:18:43,501 --> 00:18:45,200
Okay, thanks, Oscar.
444
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,334
Dad, your cab's outside.
445
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:50,234
Better hurry.
The meter's probably running.
446
00:18:50,234 --> 00:18:52,033
That's how they get you.
447
00:18:57,934 --> 00:18:59,934
Hey.
Thanks again.
448
00:18:59,934 --> 00:19:02,934
Hey, all 21st century men
help with the dishes.
449
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:06,234
I meant thank you
for sticking up for me
450
00:19:06,234 --> 00:19:07,267
with your dad.
451
00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:09,667
Well, you know.
452
00:19:09,667 --> 00:19:11,234
I know.
453
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,701
You are a good man.
454
00:19:12,701 --> 00:19:15,968
And you are a good man
455
00:19:15,968 --> 00:19:17,267
with boobs.
456
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,467
Come on, guys, I'm ready.
457
00:19:21,467 --> 00:19:23,234
You know that meter's running.
458
00:19:25,968 --> 00:19:28,167
Well, goodbye, Roy.
459
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,100
Sorry again about your ankle.
460
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:32,033
Just think of my busted tendon
461
00:19:32,033 --> 00:19:33,801
as an extension of your style.
462
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,868
And I'm sorry I was such
a pain in the ass.
463
00:19:36,868 --> 00:19:37,968
Ah, don't worry about it.
464
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:39,534
Here, some brownies
for the road.
465
00:19:39,534 --> 00:19:41,367
Oh. Gooey?
466
00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:42,868
You'll need a straw.
467
00:19:43,901 --> 00:19:45,501
Come here.
468
00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:47,400
Come here, hey.
469
00:19:49,901 --> 00:19:51,434
Son?
470
00:19:51,434 --> 00:19:53,801
Nice seeing you, Pop.
Okay, buddy.
471
00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:55,200
Thanks for everything, guys.
472
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,467
See you a week from Thursday.
473
00:19:56,467 --> 00:19:58,501
You got it.
Wait.
474
00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:01,000
What's a week from Thursday?
475
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,167
The, uh, deposition.
476
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:04,334
What?
477
00:20:04,334 --> 00:20:06,200
I thought you told him
not to pursue that.
478
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,200
I did, but it doesn't mean
he listened.
479
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,234
He's my dad.
Unbelievable.
480
00:20:11,234 --> 00:20:12,868
At least you and I
are on the same side.
481
00:20:12,868 --> 00:20:14,033
How do you figure?
482
00:20:14,033 --> 00:20:15,901
Codefendants.
483
00:20:16,968 --> 00:20:19,033
Hm?
484
00:20:19,033 --> 00:20:21,834
Yeah.
Mm-hm.
485
00:20:31,167 --> 00:20:32,534
Mm,
486
00:20:32,534 --> 00:20:34,000
cakey.
487
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:37,467
"I know it was you, Fredo.
488
00:20:37,467 --> 00:20:39,100
"You broke my heart.
489
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:40,400
You broke my heart."
490
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,167
You watched Part Two?
491
00:20:42,167 --> 00:20:44,834
"You keep your friends close
but your enemies closer."
492
00:20:44,834 --> 00:20:46,834
"In my home! In my bedroom!
Where my wife sleeps,
493
00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:49,868
and my children play
with their toys!"
494
00:20:49,868 --> 00:20:52,801
Both of those movies
are unbelievable.
495
00:20:52,801 --> 00:20:54,534
I told you.
Welcome back, friend.
496
00:20:54,534 --> 00:20:57,200
And you will be happy to know
that I also watched Part Three.
497
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:58,567
Best one of all!
498
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:01,133
What?
499
00:21:02,567 --> 00:21:04,267
You're dead to me.
35113
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