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1
00:00:03,524 --> 00:00:09,224
6:57, 6:58, 6:59. Seven
minutes. Keep going, buddy.
2
00:00:09,297 --> 00:00:11,629
Frank, you seeing this? I'm working
on the chicken parts over here.
3
00:00:11,699 --> 00:00:13,929
Forget the chicken parts. Charlie is
about to shatter the world record...
4
00:00:14,001 --> 00:00:15,935
for holding his breath...
he's up to seven minutes.
5
00:00:16,003 --> 00:00:19,461
Take the buns off the radiator. Forget the
buns. We are gonna be world famous after this.
6
00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:21,474
Charlie, how you doing?
I gotta breathe, man.
7
00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:23,806
No, Charlie, don't breathe! One
more minute! Buns are gonna burn!
8
00:00:23,878 --> 00:00:25,812
Don't do that!
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
9
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,474
Come on! Are you breathing?
Of course I'm breathing!
10
00:00:28,549 --> 00:00:31,575
Well, you ruined it. We could have
been famous. We could have been famous.
11
00:00:31,652 --> 00:00:35,952
Come in!
Hi. I... Oh, I'm, uh...
12
00:00:36,023 --> 00:00:38,423
What do you want, lady?
Ow!
13
00:00:38,492 --> 00:00:41,984
Uh, my name is Betty Canuso,
and I don't know if you heard...
14
00:00:42,063 --> 00:00:46,022
but a week ago, Eastern State Correctional
Facility was forced to release...
15
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:49,126
25% of its inmates
due to overcrowding.
16
00:00:49,203 --> 00:00:53,367
Eastern State? That's where my dad is. Maybe
they let my dad out. Did they let my dad out?
17
00:00:53,441 --> 00:00:55,909
How would I know that?
18
00:00:55,977 --> 00:00:59,845
Listen, I'm here because of a man named
Wendell Albright, a registered sex offender.
19
00:00:59,914 --> 00:01:02,212
He's moved into this neighborhood.
Yeah.
20
00:01:02,283 --> 00:01:05,047
I'm hoping by raising awareness we can
force him out of the neighborhood...
21
00:01:05,119 --> 00:01:07,883
and away from our children, you know,
once and for all. It's going on and on.
22
00:01:07,955 --> 00:01:10,788
Is there something that you need from us?
Because we're in the middle of something.
23
00:01:10,858 --> 00:01:12,849
Please post these
flyers anywhere you can.
24
00:01:12,927 --> 00:01:14,861
Okay, okay, okay.
Yes, yes, yes.
25
00:01:14,929 --> 00:01:16,829
All right. Okay. Thank
you for your time.
26
00:01:16,897 --> 00:01:19,695
Out. Get out. Get out.
Some people have no sense...
27
00:01:19,767 --> 00:01:24,204
of my personal boundaries and
property. Let's set the shit up again.
28
00:01:24,271 --> 00:01:26,899
Holy shit!
What?
29
00:01:26,974 --> 00:01:29,636
This dude looks just like Dennis.
30
00:02:03,678 --> 00:02:06,613
I do not look like this guy.
31
00:02:06,681 --> 00:02:09,206
Are you serious, dude? What
are you guys talking about?
32
00:02:09,283 --> 00:02:12,116
He's, like, 40 years old. Oh, my God.
Look at his jaw. Look at his jawline.
33
00:02:12,186 --> 00:02:15,678
His jaw is exactly where I don't look
like him. His jaw is fat and it's...
34
00:02:15,756 --> 00:02:20,056
Go, like, this far back. I never go that
far back. When I do, it doesn't do that.
35
00:02:20,127 --> 00:02:22,618
I give you six to eight months before
you start looking exactly like that guy.
36
00:02:22,697 --> 00:02:25,029
That's crazy, man.
There's no resemblance...
37
00:02:28,035 --> 00:02:31,630
Hello. Dad. They did
let you out. Oh, my God.
38
00:02:31,706 --> 00:02:34,971
Don't touch me. Right. That's how it
goes. Hey, hey, come meet my friends.
39
00:02:35,042 --> 00:02:36,873
Guys, this is my dad.
Well, Charlie you know.
40
00:02:36,944 --> 00:02:40,038
Hey, hey, man.
Hey, by the way...
41
00:02:40,114 --> 00:02:43,447
real sorry about that whole heroin
incident in the butt, but here's the deal.
42
00:02:43,517 --> 00:02:46,645
I had my butt filled like a Christmas
stocking, and I wanted to come...
43
00:02:46,721 --> 00:02:49,087
I got a little nervous,
everything came flushing out of me.
44
00:02:49,156 --> 00:02:52,319
Wendell "Shorteyes."
They let you out too, huh?
45
00:02:52,393 --> 00:02:55,954
What? No, I'm not Wendell
"Shorteyes. " Didn't I stab you once?
46
00:02:56,030 --> 00:02:59,431
No, you never stabbed... Look, I'm not
Wendell, okay? I'm not a sexual child molester.
47
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,025
I'm Dennis Reynolds. I'm
handsome and chiseled and...
48
00:03:02,103 --> 00:03:05,129
Now you got me thinking. I
gotta go look in a mirror.
49
00:03:05,206 --> 00:03:07,936
Dad, what are you gonna do now
that you're out? I need a job.
50
00:03:08,008 --> 00:03:12,001
Well, tell you what. I just got an
idea. Bouncer. Welcome aboard, buddy.
51
00:03:12,079 --> 00:03:15,480
Right.
Good thinking.
52
00:03:15,549 --> 00:03:17,608
Can I talk to you for
a second, you guys?
53
00:03:17,685 --> 00:03:20,518
Oh, yeah. Dude, Dee, that
guy really likes your hair.
54
00:03:20,588 --> 00:03:23,523
Yeah, he does. This is a very
bad plan. What? Which one?
55
00:03:23,591 --> 00:03:26,424
This man should not work
here. Why are you attacking us?
56
00:03:26,494 --> 00:03:30,430
This guy looks like he wants to eat me.
Has he ever eaten anybody that you know of?
57
00:03:30,498 --> 00:03:32,432
I don't think so.
58
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:36,095
No. But it'd be pretty cool if
he did. Yeah, that is really cool.
59
00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:38,798
Think about the dedication you got
to put into eating a human body.
60
00:03:38,873 --> 00:03:41,137
If he's got that kind of
commitment, imagine what...
61
00:03:41,208 --> 00:03:43,938
Son, where's the telephone?
Do you have plans, Dad?
62
00:03:44,011 --> 00:03:47,447
'Cause I was thinking we could do some
father-son stuff. Have a catch. Talk.
63
00:03:47,515 --> 00:03:50,575
No, I'm not gonna do that.
But I'll tell you what.
64
00:03:50,651 --> 00:03:56,021
Here's a list of, uh, all the people I, uh,
promised to visit after I got out of prison.
65
00:03:56,090 --> 00:04:00,550
Maybe you can drive me around, help
me take care of a few of 'em, hmm?
66
00:04:00,628 --> 00:04:02,892
Take care of a few of 'em?
Okay, that sounds cool.
67
00:04:02,963 --> 00:04:06,455
You got a car? No. Dennis does,
but he won't give me the keys.
68
00:04:06,534 --> 00:04:09,059
That won't be a problem.
69
00:04:10,638 --> 00:04:12,572
I do not want Mac's
dad working at our bar.
70
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,473
I was looking in the mirror, and I gotta
tell you, looks pretty good in here.
71
00:04:15,543 --> 00:04:18,535
Jawline looks good... Are you listening
to me? I don't want to get eaten.
72
00:04:18,612 --> 00:04:21,206
Eaten? He eats people? That's
awesome. That's not awesome.
73
00:04:21,282 --> 00:04:24,012
Why do you guys think that eating
people is awesome? It just is.
74
00:04:24,084 --> 00:04:26,985
Asshole!
What? Did you see that?
75
00:04:27,054 --> 00:04:29,079
Yeah, I saw that. Listen,
I need your help, okay?
76
00:04:29,156 --> 00:04:32,387
You're part owner of the bar, and you're
probably the only person that Mac listens to...
77
00:04:32,459 --> 00:04:36,088
and I need you talk to him... Dee, you're
blowing this completely out of proportion.
78
00:04:36,163 --> 00:04:38,859
Mac's dad probably hasn't seen
a woman in a very long time.
79
00:04:38,933 --> 00:04:41,197
And as soon as he comes across
one that's actually attractive...
80
00:04:41,268 --> 00:04:45,034
he's gonna forget all about you, just like
every other man does. Why do you do that?
81
00:04:45,105 --> 00:04:47,403
Pervert!
Dickhead!
82
00:04:47,474 --> 00:04:51,205
Pervert? Dickhead? Why are people
yelling at me in the streets, Dee?
83
00:04:51,278 --> 00:04:53,610
Could have something
to do with that.
84
00:04:53,681 --> 00:04:55,672
What?
85
00:04:59,687 --> 00:05:01,882
That's gonna be a problem for me.
86
00:05:04,925 --> 00:05:08,759
Take the TV too. Frank! What
the hell's going on in here, man?
87
00:05:08,829 --> 00:05:14,062
I'm leaving. It's been great, but I got
to get something more out of my life.
88
00:05:14,134 --> 00:05:16,034
Well, why are you taking all my shit?
89
00:05:16,103 --> 00:05:19,698
Well, it was really hard to tell whose was
whose, so I just decided to take everything.
90
00:05:19,773 --> 00:05:22,469
You don't ever use this.
I use that all the time.
91
00:05:22,543 --> 00:05:25,535
It's like the only thing I use. All
right, slow down, Frank. Slow down.
92
00:05:25,613 --> 00:05:27,547
What the hell's this all about?
93
00:05:27,615 --> 00:05:31,483
Charlie, I need a woman. I need a woman
to cook for me and clean up after me...
94
00:05:31,552 --> 00:05:33,816
and somebody who'll do
everything I say.
95
00:05:33,888 --> 00:05:35,913
That's just a maid.
You want a maid? Yeah.
96
00:05:35,990 --> 00:05:39,756
That's right. A maid.
A maid I can bang.
97
00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:42,762
Well, what the hell,
man? I mean... What?
98
00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:45,628
I thought we had a pretty sweet
thing going on here. Am I wrong?
99
00:05:45,699 --> 00:05:50,500
We had a good deal going on. We hung out.
We... Breakin' records, eatin' chicken scraps.
100
00:05:50,571 --> 00:05:52,163
I know you're gonna
miss me. Don't hug me!
101
00:05:52,239 --> 00:05:55,333
Get... Get out of my apartment. Dude,
I don't need you. No, wait, wait.
102
00:05:55,409 --> 00:05:57,502
You know what, dude? Before
you go, remember one thing.
103
00:05:57,578 --> 00:06:02,777
We had about the sweetest life that two men can
have together, and you're walking out on that.
104
00:06:02,850 --> 00:06:05,148
Charlie, you're gonna have
to deal with it. You know why?
105
00:06:05,219 --> 00:06:07,449
Because I need that bang maid.
106
00:06:07,521 --> 00:06:10,718
All right. But you're not gonna do
very well out there without this guy.
107
00:06:10,791 --> 00:06:15,057
'Cause I may not be much, Frank, but, uh, I
think you'll find that I'm a pretty sweet deal...
108
00:06:15,129 --> 00:06:17,757
once you're out there on your
own, and I'll tell you what else.
109
00:06:17,831 --> 00:06:20,265
You're not gonna find a bang
maid, 'cause there's no such thing.
110
00:06:20,334 --> 00:06:24,703
I already did.
Your mom. Goodbye.
111
00:06:32,579 --> 00:06:35,639
Okay, let's go.
112
00:06:35,716 --> 00:06:38,776
It's been about 30 minutes, Dad.
What were you doing up there?
113
00:06:38,852 --> 00:06:43,482
Hmm? Oh, just, uh, keeping up
with my, uh, correspondence.
114
00:06:43,557 --> 00:06:46,151
Oh, that sounds nice.
How'd it go?
115
00:06:46,226 --> 00:06:49,889
Well, there was a bit
of a struggle, but, uh...
116
00:06:49,964 --> 00:06:52,296
it turned out just fine.
Oh, good.
117
00:06:52,366 --> 00:06:55,529
Good. So, um... Hey, I was thinking
we could hang out, you know.
118
00:06:55,602 --> 00:06:57,627
I was thinking we could
go on a double date.
119
00:06:57,705 --> 00:07:01,163
Go onto Match. Com, find us a couple
of hot ladies. What do you think?
120
00:07:01,241 --> 00:07:04,677
No.
No. Okay. Ooh!
121
00:07:04,745 --> 00:07:08,340
We could go on a road trip. Hey, Dad,
let's go to Cooperstown, New York.
122
00:07:08,415 --> 00:07:11,441
I have always wanted to go to the
Baseball Hall of Fame with my dad.
123
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:14,351
Do you want to do that
with me, Dad? Start the car.
124
00:07:14,421 --> 00:07:16,355
Okay.
125
00:07:16,423 --> 00:07:19,722
I'll start the car. That's fine.
Um, just school me again here.
126
00:07:19,793 --> 00:07:23,661
Is it the yellow one to the black
one, or is there orange involved?
127
00:07:23,731 --> 00:07:25,665
Red.
Red. Just red.
128
00:07:25,733 --> 00:07:29,931
There we go. Teamwork, right?
A little father-son teamwork.
129
00:07:31,338 --> 00:07:34,239
Okay, here we go.
Put on your seat belt.
130
00:07:34,308 --> 00:07:36,742
Or don't. Here we go.
131
00:07:38,846 --> 00:07:40,780
It looks great.
Stop fiddling with it.
132
00:07:40,848 --> 00:07:43,214
I know it looks great. I just
want to make sure the glue holds.
133
00:07:43,283 --> 00:07:46,309
Remember, this is a twofold operation. We want
to prove that you're not Wendell Albright...
134
00:07:46,387 --> 00:07:49,015
but prove that you are
a good guy. Good guy?
135
00:07:49,089 --> 00:07:51,887
Check. That comes naturally
for me. Great. Now step one.
136
00:07:51,959 --> 00:07:54,587
This guy's a little paunchy, right?
You're not. You got a great body.
137
00:07:54,661 --> 00:07:58,097
But how are we supposed to see that with this
billowy shirt you got on? Pop that thing off.
138
00:07:58,165 --> 00:08:02,192
Whoa. Wait a second, Dee. I can't just pop my
shirt off in the middle of a park. You crazy?
139
00:08:02,269 --> 00:08:04,203
I feel like you're
not using your head.
140
00:08:04,271 --> 00:08:08,401
What better way to differentiate you from this
fatty than by showing off this amazing body?
141
00:08:08,475 --> 00:08:12,468
There is an amazing body under this shirt.
I'm gonna pop the shirt off. I need to show it.
142
00:08:12,546 --> 00:08:17,040
This is what I'm thinking. You go over there
and put on a fitness clinic for these kids.
143
00:08:17,117 --> 00:08:19,312
Show that you care about
their physical body.
144
00:08:19,386 --> 00:08:22,150
I care about the kids. I would never
hurt the kids, but I care about them.
145
00:08:22,222 --> 00:08:24,156
Absolutely. I'm gonna
go do that right now.
146
00:08:24,224 --> 00:08:27,887
Take a lap.
Work those monkey bars.
147
00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:32,764
Hey, fellas. Hi, there.
148
00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:37,327
I am working with a program that
assimilates convicted child molesters...
149
00:08:37,404 --> 00:08:39,338
right back into your neighborhood.
150
00:08:39,406 --> 00:08:43,866
Kids, how you doing today? It's
a beautiful, sunny day, isn't it?
151
00:08:43,944 --> 00:08:47,141
Here, gather around for a second. I want
to talk to you kids about physical fitness.
152
00:08:47,214 --> 00:08:50,308
Now we're not responsible for making
sure these people are rehabilitated...
153
00:08:50,384 --> 00:08:54,286
but this guy's done his time and he
deserves a second chance, don't you think?
154
00:08:54,354 --> 00:08:57,949
That's him right over
there talking to your kids.
155
00:09:00,027 --> 00:09:04,862
Yeah. Nice and high over that
bar so you can work those muscles.
156
00:09:04,932 --> 00:09:08,265
'Cause you want your muscles to pop, you
understand? You see how these pecs, they're popping?
157
00:09:08,335 --> 00:09:11,361
Take a real close look at this body.
This body is chiseled. This body is...
158
00:09:11,438 --> 00:09:14,100
You guys have a great day. Some
people In society aren't very muscular.
159
00:09:14,174 --> 00:09:16,108
You should notice the difference.
160
00:09:16,176 --> 00:09:18,804
Let me show you another hamstring
stretch. This is a real good one.
161
00:09:18,879 --> 00:09:21,177
You're gonna make your legs
into a "V." Just like that.
162
00:09:21,248 --> 00:09:25,207
You're gonna put your hands together
and stretch out nice and low.
163
00:09:25,285 --> 00:09:28,482
Don't be afraid to stick your ass out.
That's not embarrassing. It's a good thing.
164
00:09:28,555 --> 00:09:32,389
Get those hamstrings nice and
loose. That's a real... Hey, pervert.
165
00:09:34,595 --> 00:09:37,029
Oh, shit.
166
00:09:40,035 --> 00:09:43,061
A dinner party?
I don't think so.
167
00:09:43,138 --> 00:09:45,197
I'm telling you, Frank,
it's gonna be awesome.
168
00:09:45,274 --> 00:09:48,937
Everybody's gonna be there.
My mom, my dad, Charlie.
169
00:09:49,011 --> 00:09:52,503
No, Mac, I don't think I'm
ever gonna leave this place.
170
00:09:52,581 --> 00:09:57,644
Nail clippings on command. Massages and
hand jobs being thrown around like hotcakes.
171
00:09:57,719 --> 00:10:00,153
This is a party in your honor.
172
00:10:00,222 --> 00:10:02,816
We are celebrating
your new relationship.
173
00:10:02,891 --> 00:10:05,519
Can I bring my bang maid?
174
00:10:05,594 --> 00:10:07,994
Of course, dude. You can
bring anybody you want.
175
00:10:09,064 --> 00:10:12,192
Bonnie!
Oh, uh, yes, Frank?
176
00:10:12,267 --> 00:10:14,895
Stop making lasagna.
We're goin' out tonight.
177
00:10:14,970 --> 00:10:18,406
Oh. Okay, Frank.
She's in.
178
00:10:18,473 --> 00:10:21,067
All right, I'll see you tonight
at 8:00. And the trap is set.
179
00:10:21,143 --> 00:10:23,077
Sweet, bro.
What the hell are you doing?
180
00:10:23,145 --> 00:10:26,581
Siphoning boxed wine.
Why?
181
00:10:26,648 --> 00:10:29,481
Why? Bro, this is
the perfect plan, man.
182
00:10:29,551 --> 00:10:33,248
Dude, if we get your dad drunk enough, he's
gonna be able to see past your mother's looks...
183
00:10:33,322 --> 00:10:36,519
past her skin,
all that eczema and shit.
184
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:38,651
He's gonna fall in love with
her all over again, buddy.
185
00:10:38,727 --> 00:10:42,322
Now my mom, she gets so belligerent
and mean when she's drunk, dude...
186
00:10:42,397 --> 00:10:46,891
she's gonna drive Frank right
back into my arms. Into your arms?
187
00:10:46,969 --> 00:10:50,234
Into my... Into my home.
Into my futon and my house...
188
00:10:50,305 --> 00:10:52,865
I'm gonna have Frank back is
what I'm trying to say, dude.
189
00:10:52,941 --> 00:10:55,205
Right. Where'd all
these jars come from?
190
00:10:55,277 --> 00:10:58,110
I emptied out all the tomato sauce.
Hmm.
191
00:10:58,180 --> 00:11:01,274
Seems to me like it'd be easier to
steal the box than jars of liquid.
192
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:05,343
No. No. The jars are...
It's easier... You empty...
193
00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:08,548
Where were you 10 minutes ago when
I was coming up with this plan, man?
194
00:11:10,492 --> 00:11:13,757
Okay, I helped you. In
fact, I'm still helping you.
195
00:11:13,829 --> 00:11:16,627
I'm giving you ice for your
broken face, so you call Mac now.
196
00:11:16,698 --> 00:11:18,859
What are you talking about?
You helped me get my ass kicked.
197
00:11:18,934 --> 00:11:20,868
I'm starting to think
you did that on purpose.
198
00:11:20,936 --> 00:11:22,870
What?
Yeah.
199
00:11:22,938 --> 00:11:26,101
Oh, how dare you say it.
You call Mac right now.
200
00:11:26,174 --> 00:11:28,108
No. I'm not calling Mac.
No. I'm not calling Mac...
201
00:11:28,176 --> 00:11:30,337
because you're not helping me
with this molester situation.
202
00:11:30,412 --> 00:11:34,314
I'm gonna call Mac's dad, tell him you're
available, that you were asking about him.
203
00:11:34,383 --> 00:11:36,943
All right, fine. I'll help you. But
then right afterwards, you're helping me.
204
00:11:37,019 --> 00:11:39,783
Yeah. Yeah.
Dick.
205
00:11:39,855 --> 00:11:42,255
Oh, Mom, you're gonna
look so good for your date.
206
00:11:42,324 --> 00:11:44,622
All right, here we go.
207
00:11:44,693 --> 00:11:48,527
I think that should just about do it.
208
00:11:48,597 --> 00:11:50,565
What do you think?
209
00:11:50,632 --> 00:11:53,726
Can't see the TV.
210
00:11:53,802 --> 00:11:56,600
Right. I was thinking maybe you could
lay off the TV, just for an hour...
211
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:59,470
Can't see the TV. Mac, can I
talk to you in here for a second?
212
00:11:59,541 --> 00:12:02,738
Yeah. I'll-I'll be right
back, okay? Okay, what's up?
213
00:12:02,811 --> 00:12:05,245
Do me a favor, 'cause I'm
really in the weeds here, bro.
214
00:12:05,314 --> 00:12:08,977
I need you to take some of these spaghetti
sauce things with all the wine in them...
215
00:12:09,051 --> 00:12:11,451
I need you to, like, empty
all... What are you talking about?
216
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:14,148
I am trying to set the right
mood in there. Are you kidding me?
217
00:12:14,222 --> 00:12:17,248
I'm the only one in here! I'm the only
one cooking! Is that my problem, Charlie?
218
00:12:17,326 --> 00:12:20,124
What if we have no ambience? Do you
have any idea what it takes to cook...
219
00:12:20,195 --> 00:12:22,288
Do you want flat ambience?
Get out of my kitchen!
220
00:12:22,364 --> 00:12:24,127
Jesus Christ, Charlie. Jesus
Christ. This is a disaster!
221
00:12:24,199 --> 00:12:29,466
This disaster's on your hands, not mine,
okay? Whoa! Dad. When did you get here?
222
00:12:29,538 --> 00:12:35,238
Shh. Right. Right.
Oh, uh, surprise, Mom.
223
00:12:35,310 --> 00:12:40,441
Surprise! Yea! It's Dad. You guys haven't
seen each other in so long, huh? It's exciting.
224
00:12:40,515 --> 00:12:42,483
Right.
225
00:12:42,551 --> 00:12:44,610
Hey, Dad. Dad,
doesn't Mom look pretty?
226
00:12:44,686 --> 00:12:46,620
No.
Oh, boy.
227
00:12:46,688 --> 00:12:49,748
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Here we
go. Our guests have arrived.
228
00:12:49,825 --> 00:12:52,191
Oh, sorry. Almost,
uh, touched you again.
229
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:56,663
Okay, guys, you guys ready? Are you ready?
All right, you look ready. Let's do it.
230
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:59,701
It's all happening. Hello.
HI.
231
00:12:59,768 --> 00:13:01,633
Welcome. Welcome.
Thank you.
232
00:13:01,703 --> 00:13:02,692
You look good.
Thanks.
233
00:13:02,771 --> 00:13:04,796
Can I take your coats?
Bonnie, coat.
234
00:13:04,873 --> 00:13:06,807
Oh.
Sit.
235
00:13:06,875 --> 00:13:08,866
Love you.
Mmm.
236
00:13:08,944 --> 00:13:10,878
Damn, dude.
Harsh, right?
237
00:13:10,946 --> 00:13:14,677
Yeah. I think so too. The woman
prefers to be treated like shit.
238
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,980
I ain't never seen
anything like it in my life.
239
00:13:17,052 --> 00:13:21,352
Attention, everybody! Attention,
everyone! Your dinner is served.
240
00:13:21,423 --> 00:13:23,823
Ohh!
Pipe down.
241
00:13:29,064 --> 00:13:31,692
This is, uh, delicious, Charlie.
242
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:36,568
Why, thank you, Mac. It's
crap. Pure, unadulterated crap.
243
00:13:36,638 --> 00:13:38,868
Uh, Mother, how's yours?
244
00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:42,535
Um...
245
00:13:42,611 --> 00:13:47,014
it's crap... pure,
unadulterated crap.
246
00:13:47,082 --> 00:13:50,051
Well, I'm not surprised you're saying
that, considering I took a crap in yours.
247
00:13:50,118 --> 00:13:54,782
No, he didn't. He's joking. He's joking.
Charlie did not crap into anybody's food, okay?
248
00:13:54,856 --> 00:13:58,383
Mother, you might be wanting to have some more
of this turkey sangria, wash that crap down.
249
00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:00,724
No. Bonnie.
She doesn't want any more.
250
00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:03,560
Shut up, Frank. You don't know what she
wants any more than she knows what you want.
251
00:14:03,632 --> 00:14:06,362
You know who knows what you want? I
do. I've always known what you want.
252
00:14:06,435 --> 00:14:09,199
And I can give you want you want.
Just let me give you what you want.
253
00:14:09,271 --> 00:14:12,069
I don't think so, Charlie. I don't
think so. Let's change the subject.
254
00:14:12,140 --> 00:14:17,339
Dad. Dad, maybe you want to regale us
with a story from prison or my childhood?
255
00:14:17,412 --> 00:14:20,779
Mmmmm.
Oh, my. You were in prison?
256
00:14:20,849 --> 00:14:22,646
Yeah.
257
00:14:22,717 --> 00:14:26,175
That's very interesting, Luther. Now that you
and my mother are opening a dialogue here...
258
00:14:26,254 --> 00:14:29,223
I don't know if you've taken any time out
of your dinner to notice her ample breasts.
259
00:14:29,291 --> 00:14:30,690
What?
Charlie.
260
00:14:30,759 --> 00:14:33,319
The man's been in prison a long
time. He probably needs a woman.
261
00:14:33,395 --> 00:14:35,955
What you may or may not have
known Is my mother happens to be...
262
00:14:36,031 --> 00:14:38,056
one hell of a whore
of a man-stealing woman!
263
00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:40,761
Charlie, that's just rude.
What are you doing, Charlie?
264
00:14:40,836 --> 00:14:44,829
It's okay, because my dad already
has a woman, Frank. Uh, you have Mom.
265
00:14:44,906 --> 00:14:47,067
She hates me. That's not
true. That's not true.
266
00:14:47,142 --> 00:14:49,508
Mom, you don't hate
Dad, do you? Oh, yeah.
267
00:14:49,578 --> 00:14:52,479
Damn it. Mother, I don't know
if you know this or not...
268
00:14:52,547 --> 00:14:55,482
but Luther happens to be a
very successful drug dealer. Oh.
269
00:14:55,550 --> 00:14:58,951
This might appeal to the whore in you.
He happens to have beautiful blue eyes...
270
00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:00,988
that just pop right out of his head.
271
00:15:01,056 --> 00:15:04,492
I don't blink. The man doesn't
blink, Mom. The man doesn't blink.
272
00:15:04,559 --> 00:15:07,323
Stay away from my bang maid. Damn
it, Frank! This isn't about them...
273
00:15:07,395 --> 00:15:10,193
Charlie... or Mac or anyone else...
this is about you and me, bro.
274
00:15:10,265 --> 00:15:13,996
This is about dudes living together, hanging
out, sharing their bed and their life...
275
00:15:14,069 --> 00:15:16,003
No. That's not what this is about!
Yes!
276
00:15:16,071 --> 00:15:20,098
This is about people meeting back up
after many years and sparks flying...
277
00:15:20,175 --> 00:15:24,635
and families getting back together and
raising little boys so they can be happy again!
278
00:15:24,713 --> 00:15:27,307
Okay, happy boys! This
is about happy boys!
279
00:15:27,382 --> 00:15:30,180
Bonnie, I'll call you sometime.
280
00:15:30,252 --> 00:15:32,948
No!
Oh, that's it! That's it!
281
00:15:33,021 --> 00:15:36,548
Ah, it's on! You've ruined
this, and I'll never forgive you.
282
00:15:36,625 --> 00:15:38,855
We're out of here. I
will never forgive you.
283
00:15:38,927 --> 00:15:40,827
Oh, come on.
You'll forgive me.
284
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:45,390
Mmm! And the seed is planted.
285
00:15:47,469 --> 00:15:49,801
All right, listen, douche bag...
286
00:15:49,871 --> 00:15:52,305
apparently people think we look
alike... personally, I don't see it.
287
00:15:52,374 --> 00:15:57,869
Holy shit! No. Yeah, I see that. We got
the same eyes, same nose, same lips, same...
288
00:15:57,946 --> 00:15:59,538
And the chin.
What are you doing?
289
00:15:59,614 --> 00:16:02,913
That's what it is. It's all in here
is the same. Same jawline and chin...
290
00:16:02,984 --> 00:16:05,145
But look at his whole neck parts.
291
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:06,983
Yeah, it's right in here.
Mm-hmm. It's all there.
292
00:16:07,055 --> 00:16:09,751
What? Who are you here to
help? But look at his-his...
293
00:16:09,824 --> 00:16:12,554
I have a chiseled, noble...
That's not the point.
294
00:16:12,627 --> 00:16:15,721
The point is you got to leave so I
can live my life in peace. Listen, pal.
295
00:16:15,797 --> 00:16:19,733
This is a pretty sweet situation I got going
here. You're out there looking like me...
296
00:16:19,801 --> 00:16:23,430
taking all my heat while I'm in here
watching the Disney channel all day long.
297
00:16:23,505 --> 00:16:25,439
Why the hell would I move?
298
00:16:25,507 --> 00:16:29,807
We were afraid it might come to that.
Timmy, could you come out here for a second?
299
00:16:29,878 --> 00:16:35,373
Timmy, will you recite for our husky friend
here the little courtroom speech we prepared.
300
00:16:35,450 --> 00:16:37,384
I have a friend.
His name Is Wendell.
301
00:16:37,452 --> 00:16:40,046
He showed me funny movies with
fully naked people in them.
302
00:16:40,121 --> 00:16:43,284
He gives me juice boxes
that make me sleepy.
303
00:16:43,358 --> 00:16:46,953
All right, I get it. He's
silly. He's a tickle monster.
304
00:16:47,028 --> 00:16:48,791
Listen, kid,
I said I get it, okay?
305
00:16:48,863 --> 00:16:52,890
He makes me taste things I don't
want to. He puts things in my heinie.
306
00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:55,766
Goddamn it! Will you make
the kid stop, please? Come on.
307
00:16:55,837 --> 00:16:58,965
I think that ought to do it. Yeah.
That's good, Timmy. So you'll leave?
308
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:03,101
Yeah, I'll leave.
309
00:17:06,681 --> 00:17:08,615
Lady
310
00:17:08,683 --> 00:17:13,484
When you're with me
I'm smiling
311
00:17:13,555 --> 00:17:15,489
Give me
312
00:17:15,557 --> 00:17:17,491
Whoaoaoa
All your love
313
00:17:17,559 --> 00:17:20,892
So I say that went very well. Didn't
you think it went well? Shut up, Charlie.
314
00:17:20,962 --> 00:17:24,420
Hey, hey, hey. I agree with
Charlie. I thought it was nice.
315
00:17:24,499 --> 00:17:26,433
Hey, pull over. Pull over.
Here?
316
00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:30,130
Yeah, yeah. What, do you have another
name on your correspondence list?
317
00:17:30,205 --> 00:17:34,642
Yeah. Okay, you two, stay right here.
318
00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:38,668
This one shouldn't take long.
319
00:17:40,815 --> 00:17:42,749
Bro, can I talk to you
for one second? Yeah.
320
00:17:42,817 --> 00:17:44,512
What the hell's up with that?
It's weird. I don't know.
321
00:17:44,586 --> 00:17:47,111
This shiteating behavior. He's been
acting very weird about this list.
322
00:17:47,188 --> 00:17:50,123
What's up with this correspondence
list? Who are these people?
323
00:17:50,191 --> 00:17:53,319
Judge Hatcher. District Attorney
Andrews. Warden Phillips. What?
324
00:17:53,395 --> 00:17:55,955
I think he's killing
those people. Charlie.
325
00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:58,659
Holy shit! He's killing... He's
probably eating them too, dude.
326
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:01,463
And although I think eating people
is very cool, not if we're involved.
327
00:18:01,536 --> 00:18:04,403
No, Charlie, he is not killing
anybody, okay? We're accomplices.
328
00:18:04,472 --> 00:18:09,000
No, we are not. He told me these are people
from his past, and he's got to take care of them.
329
00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:11,705
And once he takes care of them,
he's gonna take care of me.
330
00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:13,714
Oh, my God!
331
00:18:13,782 --> 00:18:16,945
Wait, that doesn't sound good. No, that
doesn't sound good at all for you, bro.
332
00:18:17,018 --> 00:18:19,748
I'm on the list, of course,
and then... Uhoh. What?
333
00:18:19,821 --> 00:18:21,311
Number 12.
What?
334
00:18:21,389 --> 00:18:22,515
Charlie.
What?
335
00:18:22,590 --> 00:18:23,887
Charlie.
Why am I on there?
336
00:18:23,958 --> 00:18:25,949
I don't know. I don't belong
on there! That's bullshit!
337
00:18:26,027 --> 00:18:28,018
You don't put a man
on a list! Rip it off!
338
00:18:28,096 --> 00:18:30,326
You think he memorized it? Of course
he memorized it. That's pointless.
339
00:18:30,398 --> 00:18:33,162
Okay, I... What's this
about? Why am I on the list?
340
00:18:33,234 --> 00:18:35,293
Charlie...
It's the heroin thing.
341
00:18:35,370 --> 00:18:37,463
Remember when he asked us to
put heroin in our butts... Yes.
342
00:18:37,539 --> 00:18:39,473
And smuggle it into
prison and we didn't do it?
343
00:18:39,541 --> 00:18:42,738
Now he's all hot and bothered 'cause we don't
give him heroin? We don't put it in our butts?
344
00:18:42,811 --> 00:18:46,338
You don't do that! You don't eat someone
'cause they don't have heroin in their ass!
345
00:18:46,414 --> 00:18:48,382
Let's get out of here.
346
00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:50,509
Hold on! Calm down, Charlie!
Red to red! Red to red!
347
00:18:50,585 --> 00:18:52,985
Are you sure it's red to red?
Am I sure it's red to red?
348
00:18:53,054 --> 00:18:54,988
You hold this one! I'm
freakin' out! Red to red!
349
00:18:55,056 --> 00:18:57,251
Red to red!
I can do it, right?
350
00:18:57,325 --> 00:18:59,691
Lady
Let's go!
351
00:18:59,761 --> 00:19:02,252
Of the morning
352
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,927
What can I do you for?
We need to talk.
353
00:19:09,003 --> 00:19:11,164
What is going on in here?
354
00:19:11,239 --> 00:19:13,434
Just laying low and
breaking world records.
355
00:19:13,508 --> 00:19:16,068
Don't even think about breathing,
bitch. All right, so here's the deal.
356
00:19:16,144 --> 00:19:18,339
Got rid of that child molester.
The sexual predator guy?
357
00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:21,246
Yeah, he's gone. He's out of the
situation, so my problems are solved.
358
00:19:21,316 --> 00:19:24,046
You had a thing too, right? Mac's
dad. I want your dad out of the bar.
359
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:25,746
Great. Me too.
Really?
360
00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:27,344
I'm pretty sure he wants
to kill me, actually.
361
00:19:27,422 --> 00:19:29,356
Why would your dad want to kill you?
362
00:19:29,424 --> 00:19:32,291
Not sure. But we've been driving around
in your car. He's got this list of names.
363
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,294
He's been checking them off...
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Walt a second.
364
00:19:34,362 --> 00:19:36,853
You've been driving around in my car?
365
00:19:36,931 --> 00:19:40,025
Uh, my dad made me steal it.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dude.
366
00:19:40,101 --> 00:19:43,002
That son of a bitch. He's a dangerous man,
and I don't want him in the bar anymore.
367
00:19:43,071 --> 00:19:44,436
Okay.
Are you kidding me?
368
00:19:44,506 --> 00:19:47,771
Dee, that's final! Don't argue
with me! Mac, call the police.
369
00:19:47,842 --> 00:19:53,439
Goodbye. Goodbye.
Luther, I'll wait for you.
370
00:19:53,515 --> 00:19:55,710
Oh. Okay, Mom. Mom, are
you okay? Are you okay?
371
00:19:55,784 --> 00:19:58,048
Oh, Charlie, they're taking him away.
372
00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:02,249
They're taking away my Luther. Mom, I
was... Mom! Mom, sorry. Can you listen to me?
373
00:20:02,323 --> 00:20:05,121
Don't ever take Frank from me again!
He's mine now! I got him back, so...
374
00:20:05,193 --> 00:20:08,424
What? Officer. Officer,
we know everything.
375
00:20:08,496 --> 00:20:11,465
What are you talking about? We're the ones
that called you. That's my dad you're arresting.
376
00:20:11,533 --> 00:20:13,763
He's been killing all the
people on this list. Oh, yeah.
377
00:20:13,835 --> 00:20:17,168
We looked into all that already.
He wasn't killing those people.
378
00:20:17,238 --> 00:20:20,264
In fact, everybody on that
list spoke very highly of him.
379
00:20:20,341 --> 00:20:21,899
Spoke highly of him?
What?
380
00:20:21,976 --> 00:20:24,945
Yeah. Apparently, he was making
amends with all the people he wronged.
381
00:20:25,013 --> 00:20:27,447
Then if he hasn't been killing
anybody, why are you arresting him?
382
00:20:27,515 --> 00:20:29,540
Because he violated his parole.
383
00:20:29,617 --> 00:20:33,246
He's not supposed to leave the state and
we caught him buying three airline tickets.
384
00:20:33,321 --> 00:20:35,585
To where?
Cooperstown, New York.
385
00:20:35,657 --> 00:20:39,423
Said he was gonna take some guy
named Mac and some guy named Charlie.
386
00:20:39,494 --> 00:20:41,462
Oh.
You guys have a good one, huh?
387
00:20:41,529 --> 00:20:45,932
Yeah.
Oh, my God. Dad.
388
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:50,869
Dad! Dad, you did want to
take me to the Hall of Fame.
389
00:20:50,939 --> 00:20:53,464
Well, I wanted it to be a surprise.
390
00:20:53,541 --> 00:20:56,374
It is a surprise. It's
a huge surprise, Dad.
391
00:20:56,444 --> 00:20:59,641
And I wanted Charlie to know there were
no hard feelings about that whole...
392
00:20:59,714 --> 00:21:01,648
you know, heroin thing.
393
00:21:01,716 --> 00:21:04,014
Ohh.
Oh, my God, Dad.
394
00:21:04,085 --> 00:21:06,645
I am so sorry for ratting
you out and turning you in.
395
00:21:06,721 --> 00:21:10,282
You weren't gonna kill me. Of course
you weren't gonna kill me. I'm your son.
396
00:21:10,358 --> 00:21:13,794
No, I wasn't gonna kill you.
397
00:21:13,862 --> 00:21:16,057
But I'm going to now.
398
00:21:17,632 --> 00:21:20,863
Huh?
Yeah.
399
00:21:20,935 --> 00:21:24,962
As soon as I get out,
I'm gonna kill you.
400
00:21:25,039 --> 00:21:27,974
See you, Son.
401
00:21:28,042 --> 00:21:30,476
See you real soon.
402
00:21:36,251 --> 00:21:38,515
Lady
403
00:21:38,586 --> 00:21:42,784
Of the morning
404
00:21:42,857 --> 00:21:45,553
Love shines
405
00:21:45,627 --> 00:21:49,791
In your eyes
406
00:21:49,864 --> 00:21:52,355
Sparkling
407
00:21:52,433 --> 00:21:55,664
Clear and lovely
408
00:21:55,737 --> 00:22:00,174
You're my lady
409
00:22:00,241 --> 00:22:02,175
Lady
410
00:22:02,243 --> 00:22:06,680
Turns me on when I'm lonely
411
00:22:06,748 --> 00:22:09,717
Show me
Whoaoaoa
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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