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1
00:00:05,384 --> 00:00:08,387
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars,
2
00:00:08,456 --> 00:00:11,735
Saturn, Uranus,
Jupiter, Pluto.
3
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,565
You lose. Wait, wait, wait.
4
00:00:13,634 --> 00:00:14,980
Murray,
this very nice lady
will be walking you.
5
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,706
Neptune! Neptune!It's too late.
6
00:00:16,775 --> 00:00:18,742
Pick up some milk
while you're out. It is not! No, no, no!
7
00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,089
Let's play again!
Let's play again! You lost. You lost the game.
8
00:00:20,158 --> 00:00:22,505
Wait! Mercury,
Venus, Earth, Mars,
9
00:00:22,574 --> 00:00:25,301
Saturn, Uranus,
Neptune, Pluto.
10
00:00:25,370 --> 00:00:26,923
Jupiter.
11
00:00:26,992 --> 00:00:28,304
You, you, you, you...
12
00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:43,733
♪ Tell me why
I love you like I do
13
00:00:43,802 --> 00:00:47,668
♪ Tell me who
can stop my heart
as much as you
14
00:00:47,737 --> 00:00:49,532
♪ Let's take each other's hand
15
00:00:49,601 --> 00:00:52,880
♪ As we jump into
the final frontier
16
00:00:53,984 --> 00:00:56,539
♪ I'm mad about you, baby
17
00:00:56,608 --> 00:00:58,782
♪ Yeah!
18
00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:00,922
♪ I'm mad about you
19
00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:23,221
Hi. I'm Burt Buchman.
20
00:01:23,290 --> 00:01:26,707
Yes, I'm Burt Buchman.
How are you?
Nice to meet you.
21
00:01:26,776 --> 00:01:28,743
I have reservations
under Buchman.
22
00:01:28,812 --> 00:01:31,056
Please, call me Burt.
23
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,334
They're not going
to ask our names.
24
00:01:33,403 --> 00:01:34,887
You never know. I know.
25
00:01:34,956 --> 00:01:36,820
I'm telling you,
one little slip
26
00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:39,237
then no all-paid
vacation, no resort,
27
00:01:39,306 --> 00:01:41,653
no eat-till-you-puke buffet.
Like that.
28
00:01:41,722 --> 00:01:44,069
Like that, we're back
on the road to Dullsville.
29
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,760
Dullsville?
30
00:01:45,829 --> 00:01:47,728
To Dullsville, yeah.
31
00:01:47,797 --> 00:01:49,178
Boringtown.
32
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,387
Rutland.
33
00:01:52,077 --> 00:01:53,389
Yawnburg.
34
00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:57,220
Mount Otony.
35
00:01:57,289 --> 00:02:01,397
Get it? I get it. I just didn't know
we lived there.
36
00:02:01,466 --> 00:02:03,744
I'm just saying
it's good to get away
once in a while.
37
00:02:03,813 --> 00:02:05,366
That's true. It is.
38
00:02:05,435 --> 00:02:07,368
Smell me.
39
00:02:07,437 --> 00:02:09,715
Very nice.
Hi. Burt Buchman.
40
00:02:09,784 --> 00:02:13,029
My lovely-smelling
wife, Sylvia.
41
00:02:13,098 --> 00:02:16,343
Why would he
surprise your mother
with a non-refundable trip?
42
00:02:16,412 --> 00:02:19,035
"Why"? Why did he
make me take flute?
43
00:02:19,104 --> 00:02:21,624
He told her this place
was supposed to be paradise?Yes, he did.
44
00:02:21,693 --> 00:02:24,765
So? She said
it's not for her.
45
00:02:24,834 --> 00:02:26,767
Oh! Oh! Did we lock
the apartment?
46
00:02:26,836 --> 00:02:28,596
Yes, we did. I don't remember
locking it.
47
00:02:28,665 --> 00:02:30,184
I must've locked it. No, I'm gonna call...
48
00:02:30,253 --> 00:02:31,910
I did! I did!
I did! I did! Are you sure?
49
00:02:31,979 --> 00:02:34,015
Yes, I did. I did. I just want to make sure
everything's taken care of
50
00:02:34,084 --> 00:02:36,604
so we can enjoy
the next five days.
51
00:02:36,673 --> 00:02:37,847
Five days.
52
00:02:37,916 --> 00:02:39,435
Murray will be fine.
53
00:02:39,504 --> 00:02:40,712
WOMAN ON PA:
Ladies and gentlemen,
at this time,
54
00:02:40,781 --> 00:02:42,921
we'd like to begin
boarding flight 827...
55
00:02:42,990 --> 00:02:46,062
That's us, Burt
and Sylvia Buchman.
56
00:02:46,131 --> 00:02:47,926
They're not going
to ask our names.
57
00:02:47,995 --> 00:02:49,479
Just...
Do me a favor.
58
00:02:49,548 --> 00:02:51,688
Just be my mother
till we get
off the ground, please.
59
00:02:51,757 --> 00:02:55,036
All right. What?
I can't wait to get you
in that hotel room!
60
00:02:55,899 --> 00:02:57,177
Now I'm not interested.
61
00:02:57,246 --> 00:02:59,524
No, no. Come on,
come on, come on.
62
00:03:04,529 --> 00:03:05,564
[CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYING]
63
00:03:05,633 --> 00:03:08,015
There's like a whole
ocean out there.
64
00:03:08,084 --> 00:03:10,604
This is
the exact same room
as in the brochure.
65
00:03:10,673 --> 00:03:12,916
I know.
Oh, and, uh...
66
00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:15,264
There you go.
Thank you very much. Thanks.
67
00:03:16,541 --> 00:03:18,128
Seemed pretty happy.
68
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,716
What'd you give him? Gave him, uh,
eight beads.
69
00:03:19,785 --> 00:03:21,166
That's $35.
70
00:03:23,617 --> 00:03:24,825
I know.
71
00:03:26,827 --> 00:03:28,069
Look. Fruit.
72
00:03:28,138 --> 00:03:29,416
You hear music?
73
00:03:29,485 --> 00:03:31,452
Yeah, I do.
What is this?
74
00:03:31,521 --> 00:03:35,422
Huh? That's a, uh...
What is that?
It's a breadfruit.
75
00:03:35,491 --> 00:03:36,940
How do you eat it?
76
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:38,942
You get another one,
you get a couple of slices
of ham,
77
00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:41,186
and you got yourself
a little sandwich.
78
00:03:42,498 --> 00:03:43,775
Where's the remote,
do you think?
79
00:03:43,844 --> 00:03:46,053
We're not gonna watch TV!
We're in paradise!
80
00:03:46,122 --> 00:03:49,332
I'm not gonna watch.
I'm just gonna turn it on.
81
00:03:49,401 --> 00:03:52,370
It's probably
with the TV.
82
00:03:52,439 --> 00:03:54,544
All right,
so where's the TV?
83
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,962
I don't know.
Maybe it pops up.
84
00:04:05,555 --> 00:04:07,005
Doesn't pop up.
This is nuts.
85
00:04:07,074 --> 00:04:08,696
I'm gonna call
the front desk.Honey?
86
00:04:08,765 --> 00:04:10,284
Wait a sec. There's no...
Wait, wait, wait... Honey?
87
00:04:10,353 --> 00:04:12,735
"Leave yourself behind.
At Hotel St. Nicole,
88
00:04:12,804 --> 00:04:15,393
"you will enjoy a relaxing
tropical atmosphere
89
00:04:15,462 --> 00:04:17,118
"with none
of the distractions
of modern life.
90
00:04:17,187 --> 00:04:21,226
"No phones, no TV,
just you and paradise."
91
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,779
What, are they kidding?
92
00:04:22,848 --> 00:04:24,747
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
93
00:04:24,816 --> 00:04:26,438
That's just wrong.
94
00:04:27,646 --> 00:04:28,958
Hi! Hi!
95
00:04:29,027 --> 00:04:31,512
Hi! I'm Trish Dawson.Yes.
96
00:04:31,581 --> 00:04:32,962
We spoke last week.
97
00:04:33,031 --> 00:04:34,653
We did?Burt?
98
00:04:34,722 --> 00:04:37,207
Trish!Hi!
99
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,899
Hi. Come on in.
100
00:04:38,968 --> 00:04:40,694
This is my wife.
Honey, look, it's...
101
00:04:40,763 --> 00:04:43,559
I know. I know.
Hi, Trish. Hi!
102
00:04:43,628 --> 00:04:46,251
So this is your room,
and you share the terrace,
103
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,804
and I have
a few things for you.
104
00:04:47,873 --> 00:04:49,737
Oh, boy, and we
didn't get you
anything.
105
00:04:52,947 --> 00:04:56,813
Okay, here's your, um,
schedules and activities.Oh, good.
106
00:04:56,882 --> 00:04:59,816
Here's the table numbers
and your cabana locations.
107
00:04:59,885 --> 00:05:01,749
This is the tide schedule.
108
00:05:01,818 --> 00:05:04,407
Here's a map
of the island,
109
00:05:04,476 --> 00:05:06,789
and our complimentary
shell diary.
110
00:05:06,858 --> 00:05:08,687
And here's a list
of four other couples
111
00:05:08,756 --> 00:05:10,896
we think that you are
really gonna like.
112
00:05:10,965 --> 00:05:12,242
Other couples?
113
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,797
Based on our conversation,
we tailor-made your week
114
00:05:14,866 --> 00:05:16,833
just to fit
your personal profile.
115
00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:19,077
Now, if there's
anything else you need,
you please let me know.
116
00:05:19,146 --> 00:05:20,285
We will. Yes.
117
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,286
Believe me
when I tell you,
118
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,012
this is going to be
the vacation
119
00:05:23,081 --> 00:05:25,532
that Burt and Sylvia Buchman
have always dreamed of.
120
00:05:30,088 --> 00:05:32,401
I've never been
more afraid in my life.
121
00:05:37,302 --> 00:05:40,409
Can I just say I loved you
in The Lion in Winter?
122
00:05:42,618 --> 00:05:44,240
I'm very fair.
123
00:05:44,309 --> 00:05:46,173
What'd you put on,
number 45?
124
00:05:46,242 --> 00:05:47,623
What, you're kidding?
125
00:05:47,692 --> 00:05:49,625
You squeeze this,
a sweater comes out.
126
00:05:52,041 --> 00:05:53,698
[GRUNTING]
127
00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:55,251
What's the matter?
128
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,978
I'm supposed to be my father.
You sit, you announce it.
129
00:06:00,636 --> 00:06:02,120
This is nice,
isn't it?
130
00:06:02,189 --> 00:06:03,363
Mmm-hmm.
131
00:06:04,985 --> 00:06:07,884
"I hear Genevieve had
an eventful voyage."
132
00:06:07,953 --> 00:06:10,059
Who's that?
133
00:06:10,128 --> 00:06:14,166
[READING IN FRENCH]
134
00:06:14,235 --> 00:06:15,340
What are you doing?
135
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,480
I am looking
for a man named Guy.
136
00:06:18,964 --> 00:06:20,587
Don't look for
a man named Guy here!
137
00:06:20,656 --> 00:06:21,967
My French final's
in two weeks.
138
00:06:22,036 --> 00:06:24,211
What happened to
leaving ourselves
behind?
139
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,455
All right. Tres bien.
140
00:06:26,524 --> 00:06:29,043
All right. Come on,
isn't this nice?
141
00:06:29,112 --> 00:06:31,183
Mmm-hmm. It's paradise.
142
00:06:31,252 --> 00:06:34,117
That's right.
And plenty of it.
143
00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:35,602
MAN: Burt and Sylvia!Yes. What happened?
144
00:06:35,671 --> 00:06:37,845
Sam and Fritzi Frank.Hi.
145
00:06:37,914 --> 00:06:39,675
FRITZI: Hello! Hello.
146
00:06:39,744 --> 00:06:41,815
You're on our list. We're on the list?
147
00:06:41,884 --> 00:06:43,817
Yeah, sure.
You're on the list.
148
00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:45,922
[GRUNTING]Oh!
149
00:06:47,648 --> 00:06:49,685
Is this paradise
or what?
150
00:06:49,754 --> 00:06:51,238
Yes, it is.
151
00:06:51,307 --> 00:06:53,689
Yeah, sure. I understand
you're in the business.
152
00:06:53,758 --> 00:06:55,311
In the business?
In sporting goods, yes!
153
00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:57,589
Sporting goods,
yes, for years. Yeah, sure.
154
00:06:57,658 --> 00:06:58,763
Yeah, sure.
155
00:06:58,832 --> 00:07:00,074
I hear you like canasta.
156
00:07:00,143 --> 00:07:01,282
From whom?
157
00:07:01,351 --> 00:07:02,801
It's on the list.
158
00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:04,562
So how's business?
159
00:07:04,631 --> 00:07:05,735
Business?
Business is good, good.
Very good.
160
00:07:05,804 --> 00:07:07,461
For you?
How's business for you?
161
00:07:07,530 --> 00:07:09,981
Balls.Mmm?
162
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:13,847
Balls, balls, balls,
balls. That's all anybody
wants, is balls.
163
00:07:13,916 --> 00:07:16,332
Yeah. Well, kids.
Go figure.
164
00:07:16,401 --> 00:07:17,989
You want me to spray you?Excuse me?
165
00:07:18,058 --> 00:07:20,301
The bugs. They will
eat you alive.
166
00:07:20,370 --> 00:07:22,407
I don't see any bugs. Ah! That's why they call 'em
"no-see-'ems."
167
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:23,995
You'll thank me later.
168
00:07:24,064 --> 00:07:26,584
What do they do
with all these balls?
169
00:07:26,653 --> 00:07:28,551
Well, uh, uh...
Hey, welcome
to paradise.
170
00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:29,863
Uh-huh.
171
00:07:35,006 --> 00:07:36,628
Nothing like
100 hands of canasta
172
00:07:36,697 --> 00:07:39,044
to help you work up
an appetite.
173
00:07:39,113 --> 00:07:41,012
Burt, Sylvia, hi!
174
00:07:41,081 --> 00:07:42,634
Hi. Are you having
a good time?
175
00:07:42,703 --> 00:07:43,946
Oh, the very best.
176
00:07:44,015 --> 00:07:45,534
Oh, here's
your afternoon schedule.
177
00:07:45,603 --> 00:07:47,052
I put you at table 17.
178
00:07:47,121 --> 00:07:49,745
I want you
to enjoy your lunch. Okay.
179
00:07:49,814 --> 00:07:51,471
Table 17 would be...
180
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:53,749
Eat first,
and then
I'll spray you!
181
00:07:53,818 --> 00:07:57,028
Think this is...
This is table 17, I think.
182
00:07:57,097 --> 00:07:59,962
So what do we got
to do today?
183
00:08:00,031 --> 00:08:01,411
We eat, and I have
an archery lesson.
184
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,448
You have a burro ride
on the beach.
185
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:06,313
And then
we're back together
for "Simon says."
186
00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:07,625
I'm riding a burro?
187
00:08:07,694 --> 00:08:09,178
Let's blow it off.
188
00:08:09,247 --> 00:08:11,076
Can't. Can't blow it off. Why not?
189
00:08:11,145 --> 00:08:13,976
Because Burt Buchman
wouldn't blow off a burro.
190
00:08:14,045 --> 00:08:16,012
We can't do this.
What are we gonna do?
191
00:08:16,081 --> 00:08:18,774
Well, tonight,
for example, karaoke.
192
00:08:18,843 --> 00:08:20,396
God help us.
193
00:08:20,465 --> 00:08:22,743
It'll be fine.
It'll be just fine.
194
00:08:22,812 --> 00:08:24,987
Splink! Splink.
195
00:08:25,677 --> 00:08:27,679
Excuse me?
196
00:08:27,748 --> 00:08:29,612
My father. You never noticed
my father can't put
ice in a drink
197
00:08:29,681 --> 00:08:31,303
without saying
"splink, splink"?
198
00:08:31,372 --> 00:08:32,512
What does it mean?
199
00:08:32,581 --> 00:08:34,444
It means "splink!"
200
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,517
I don't know. It's just
actually kind of fun.
Ready? Splink, splink.
201
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:39,760
I'm really tired
of being your parents.
202
00:08:39,829 --> 00:08:43,005
Well, we already
left ourselves behind.
So who else you got?
203
00:08:43,074 --> 00:08:44,731
Hi. Bonjour.
204
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,664
[SPEAKING IN FRENCH] You speak French.
205
00:08:46,733 --> 00:08:47,941
[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]
206
00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:49,632
[WAITER INQUIRING
IN FRENCH]
207
00:08:49,701 --> 00:08:52,566
[ORDERING IN FRENCH]
208
00:08:53,774 --> 00:08:54,741
[INQUIRES
IN FRENCH]
209
00:08:55,673 --> 00:08:57,053
Yeah, uh...
210
00:08:57,122 --> 00:08:58,710
I'm gonna have a, uh...
211
00:08:58,779 --> 00:09:00,505
Give me a Reuben
and, uh,
212
00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:02,542
the fries
of your people.
213
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:07,167
[ASKING FOR CLARIFICATION
IN FRENCH]
214
00:09:07,236 --> 00:09:11,516
[RESPONDING IN FRENCH]
215
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:12,690
[REPLIES IN FRENCH]
216
00:09:12,759 --> 00:09:13,725
[THANKS IN FRENCH]
217
00:09:14,968 --> 00:09:16,107
Hi.
218
00:09:16,176 --> 00:09:18,350
Hi.
219
00:09:18,419 --> 00:09:20,801
My husband and I
went to Europe last year.
220
00:09:20,870 --> 00:09:22,665
[MUTTERS IN AGREEMENT]
221
00:09:22,734 --> 00:09:24,840
What part of France
are you from?
222
00:09:25,910 --> 00:09:27,567
We never... Paris.
223
00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:30,535
I'm Louise.
This is Ron.
224
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,675
Hi. I'm Paul,
and this is my wife...
225
00:09:32,744 --> 00:09:34,332
Simone. Bonjour.
226
00:09:35,885 --> 00:09:40,200
[ENUNCIATING]
I love your accent.
227
00:09:40,269 --> 00:09:42,547
[IN FRENCH ACCENT]
Thank you, and I love yours.
228
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,584
Oh! You speak English.
229
00:09:44,653 --> 00:09:46,655
A little.
230
00:09:46,724 --> 00:09:47,966
Listen, we are not...
231
00:09:48,035 --> 00:09:50,728
Uh, very comfortable,
oui,with the English.
232
00:09:50,797 --> 00:09:53,558
Oh, no, no.
You're doing just fine.
233
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:55,525
We're not French. Non.Just me.
234
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,252
Uh, my husband
is a diplomat.
235
00:09:58,321 --> 00:10:01,186
Oh! Really?
That's so interesting!
236
00:10:01,255 --> 00:10:04,051
Oui, oui.More interesting
than the ride on the burro.
237
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,846
No?
238
00:10:05,915 --> 00:10:07,227
LOUISE: I beg
your pardon?
239
00:10:07,296 --> 00:10:09,954
Um, it is an idiom.
I do not know how to say.
240
00:10:10,023 --> 00:10:11,541
[LOUISE CHUCKLING]
241
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,302
How did you two meet?
242
00:10:13,371 --> 00:10:15,097
Ze peace talks. The peace talks?
243
00:10:15,166 --> 00:10:16,926
Oui, oui,
ze peace talks.
244
00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:20,861
I was selling crepes,
and my cart had a flat.
245
00:10:20,930 --> 00:10:24,278
You know,
it is the same story
since time began.
246
00:10:24,347 --> 00:10:28,041
Oh, I must say,
you two are just the most
fascinating people.
247
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,801
Yeah. You have no idea.
248
00:10:31,769 --> 00:10:34,668
What were you doing? I don't know. It was fun.
249
00:10:34,737 --> 00:10:37,429
That's fun?
Lying to nice people
is fun?
250
00:10:37,498 --> 00:10:40,122
Every vacation,
Lisa and I
would have a contest.
251
00:10:40,191 --> 00:10:43,539
We'd go down to the boardwalk
and see who could be
the most people.
252
00:10:43,608 --> 00:10:45,058
Well, look
what happened to her.
253
00:10:45,127 --> 00:10:46,266
Oh, all right.
254
00:10:46,335 --> 00:10:47,577
Don't knock it
till you've tried it.
255
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,545
Hey! Honey!
256
00:10:49,614 --> 00:10:52,272
Honey,
are you all right? Yes, thank you.
257
00:10:52,341 --> 00:10:53,687
Hi. BOTH: Hi.
258
00:10:53,756 --> 00:10:54,792
Everything okay
out here?
259
00:10:54,861 --> 00:10:56,310
I'm fine, thanks. What happened?
260
00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:59,003
He was just trying out
a new routine. Routine?
261
00:10:59,072 --> 00:11:00,487
We're circus people.
262
00:11:01,074 --> 00:11:02,454
Really?
263
00:11:02,523 --> 00:11:04,629
Absolutely.
Isn't that
right, honey?
264
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,769
Yes. Uh, fifth-generation
circus people.
265
00:11:06,838 --> 00:11:09,358
Wow! I love the circus!
266
00:11:09,427 --> 00:11:11,567
So what do you do?
267
00:11:11,636 --> 00:11:13,914
Uh... Well, you see
what I did there? Yeah.
268
00:11:13,983 --> 00:11:16,227
Picture that higher up
and in tights.
269
00:11:16,296 --> 00:11:18,539
That's great!
So what do you do?
270
00:11:18,608 --> 00:11:19,713
I, uh... She's a contortionist.
271
00:11:19,782 --> 00:11:22,405
I'm a contortionist. Yeah.
272
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,545
You know what?
Show him the thing
you've been working on.
273
00:11:24,614 --> 00:11:26,340
What thing?
274
00:11:26,409 --> 00:11:28,688
The new thing
where you put both feet
behind your head and you spin.
275
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:31,104
Not without a net.
276
00:11:31,173 --> 00:11:33,244
Come on, come on,
let's do it, huh? Come on.
277
00:11:33,313 --> 00:11:34,383
Hop up.
278
00:11:36,385 --> 00:11:38,007
I wouldn't say
I invented it,
279
00:11:38,076 --> 00:11:39,457
but I said to Lipton,
280
00:11:39,526 --> 00:11:42,598
"You got a cup.
You got noodles.
You do the math."
281
00:11:46,844 --> 00:11:48,569
Actually, I should be
head rodeo clown,
282
00:11:48,638 --> 00:11:51,641
but it's just
a big boys' club.
283
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,988
Oh, yeah, I've been
on the Calypso
284
00:11:53,057 --> 00:11:55,611
about eight,
nine years now.
285
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,855
Jacques is a
nice man. Nice man.
286
00:11:57,924 --> 00:12:01,617
You have to remember,
don't touch his hat.
287
00:12:01,686 --> 00:12:03,136
Well, sure, it's
a little dangerous,
288
00:12:03,205 --> 00:12:05,483
but, heck, they don't
dismantle themselves.
289
00:12:08,141 --> 00:12:11,282
I'm sorry.
That's why they call it
the Secret Service.
290
00:12:15,665 --> 00:12:17,426
[CALYPSO MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO]
291
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,572
Sweetie, come on.
This music's gonna
make me nuts.
292
00:12:25,641 --> 00:12:28,195
Tika-tika-tika-tika...
293
00:12:28,264 --> 00:12:29,749
Turn it off.
294
00:12:29,818 --> 00:12:31,129
If I could turn it off,
295
00:12:31,198 --> 00:12:33,753
I wouldn't be sitting here
going "tika-tika-tika-tika."
296
00:12:33,822 --> 00:12:35,064
All right,
one second.
297
00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:36,445
Seriously. It's like
we're in hell
298
00:12:36,514 --> 00:12:38,758
and Don Ho
is the deejay.
299
00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:41,761
I'm ready.
What is that?
300
00:12:41,830 --> 00:12:44,591
Oh, good. The Van Runks
want to have dinner
with us tonight.
301
00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:46,524
We can't do that. So? They were nice.
302
00:12:46,593 --> 00:12:48,008
No. They have, like...
303
00:12:48,077 --> 00:12:50,252
He wants me to make him
a sport coat.
304
00:12:50,321 --> 00:12:52,254
Will you just admit
you had fun?
305
00:12:52,323 --> 00:12:54,843
It was fun
for one night.
306
00:12:54,912 --> 00:12:56,776
Honey, honey, the Shapiros.
Where were we last night?
307
00:12:56,845 --> 00:12:57,915
Oh, oh, oh, oh... Who were we?
308
00:12:57,984 --> 00:12:59,744
Who were we? Wait, wait, wait!
309
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:02,022
Hey, Giuseppe! Hey, buon giorno!
310
00:13:06,924 --> 00:13:08,960
You know what,
I'm actually starting
to like this place.
311
00:13:09,029 --> 00:13:11,204
Sure. All we do
is eat and lie.
What's not to like?
312
00:13:11,273 --> 00:13:12,653
Hey, Vinnie.
313
00:13:12,722 --> 00:13:13,862
How's this?
314
00:13:16,278 --> 00:13:18,383
That's good.
You just want
to watch the hook.
315
00:13:19,660 --> 00:13:20,903
What was that?
316
00:13:20,972 --> 00:13:22,836
I told him I'm a
professional bowler.
317
00:13:22,905 --> 00:13:24,320
Where did you
get that?
318
00:13:24,389 --> 00:13:25,666
At ease.
319
00:13:27,496 --> 00:13:29,981
What did we do
last night? We were interesting.
320
00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:31,707
Let's never do
that again.
321
00:13:31,776 --> 00:13:33,157
I'll see you later. Where are you going?
322
00:13:33,226 --> 00:13:35,435
To get my shoes.
Sylvia has a golf lesson.
323
00:13:35,504 --> 00:13:37,333
What about me? Do you want to come?
324
00:13:37,402 --> 00:13:39,232
Nah. It's enough
that you asked.
325
00:13:39,301 --> 00:13:41,510
I'm gonna
check out the lagoon,
take a nap, whatever.
326
00:13:41,579 --> 00:13:42,752
All right.
I'll see you at dinner.
327
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,340
All right, have fun. Okay.
328
00:13:44,409 --> 00:13:45,410
Hello.
329
00:13:45,479 --> 00:13:46,998
Oh, hi!
330
00:13:47,067 --> 00:13:48,620
I've been looking
for you.
331
00:13:48,689 --> 00:13:50,760
I know, I know.
I'm sorry about
the cheese-tasting thing.
332
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:51,969
It's just that
it was so hot.
333
00:13:52,038 --> 00:13:54,488
That's not the problem. There's a problem?
334
00:13:54,557 --> 00:13:56,628
Oh, yes. I have been
having trouble
335
00:13:56,697 --> 00:13:58,976
making
the seating arrangements
for tonight's dinner.
336
00:13:59,045 --> 00:14:00,701
Uh-huh.
337
00:14:00,770 --> 00:14:03,739
It seems that the Reznicks
want to have dinner with
the astronaut and his wife,
338
00:14:03,808 --> 00:14:06,638
and the Duvalls
are dying to dine
with the cellists,
339
00:14:06,707 --> 00:14:08,330
and the Nagles have
a million questions
340
00:14:08,399 --> 00:14:10,711
for the couple
who discovered Velcro.
341
00:14:11,816 --> 00:14:12,955
So?
342
00:14:13,024 --> 00:14:14,508
So I have
checked it out,
343
00:14:14,577 --> 00:14:17,960
and it seems that
they're all staying
in your room.
344
00:14:18,029 --> 00:14:19,582
Well, that hardly
seems possible.
345
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,412
Exactly. So we're all clear, then?
346
00:14:21,481 --> 00:14:23,793
No.All righty.
347
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,865
What is going on here? Nothing.
348
00:14:25,934 --> 00:14:27,452
Is this some sort
of a con game? No.
349
00:14:27,521 --> 00:14:29,489
Are you from
another hotel? No!
350
00:14:29,558 --> 00:14:32,078
Because if you're not
Burt and Sylvia Buchman,We are!
351
00:14:32,147 --> 00:14:34,080
I'm going to be forced
to turn this matter
over to security...
352
00:14:34,149 --> 00:14:37,359
All right,
all right, all right.
I will tell you the truth.
353
00:14:37,428 --> 00:14:38,601
Go on.
354
00:14:39,188 --> 00:14:41,535
It's my husband.
355
00:14:41,604 --> 00:14:43,296
Yes? Burt.
356
00:14:43,365 --> 00:14:44,504
Yes?
357
00:14:46,057 --> 00:14:47,990
This is very hard
for me to talk about.
358
00:14:48,059 --> 00:14:49,095
Try.
359
00:14:51,097 --> 00:14:52,788
He's not well.
360
00:14:52,857 --> 00:14:53,996
In what sense?
361
00:14:54,065 --> 00:14:55,825
In the sense that he's...
362
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,241
What?Uh, well...
363
00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:58,932
What? Sort of...
364
00:14:59,001 --> 00:15:00,209
What?
365
00:15:00,278 --> 00:15:01,486
[WHISPERING]
Insane.
366
00:15:04,731 --> 00:15:08,010
Insane? Yeah, well, we don't
like to use that word.
367
00:15:08,079 --> 00:15:09,391
I--I just... I...
368
00:15:09,460 --> 00:15:10,910
I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
369
00:15:10,979 --> 00:15:13,464
His doctors suggested
we get away
370
00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:14,672
and it seemed
like a good idea.
371
00:15:14,741 --> 00:15:16,018
I thought I could
control him
372
00:15:16,087 --> 00:15:18,193
but I never should've
brought him back to the sea.
373
00:15:18,262 --> 00:15:20,540
He looks at the ocean,
and memories
start coming back,
374
00:15:20,609 --> 00:15:22,542
and the voices...
It's...
375
00:15:25,062 --> 00:15:26,718
Well, is--is
he dangerous?
376
00:15:26,787 --> 00:15:28,720
Not at all.
I have a golf lesson.
377
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,861
I'm so sorry. Thank you.
378
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,794
Is there anything
that we can do?
379
00:15:33,863 --> 00:15:36,936
No, no, thank you.
Actually, we could use
some more towels.
380
00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:42,631
How you doing, Biff? Hey. Damn bugs.
381
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:44,150
Where are these bugs?
I don't see 'em.
382
00:15:44,219 --> 00:15:46,531
That's why they call them
"no-see-'ems."
383
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,085
We've been
through this.
384
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,158
You ever had this juice? What is it?
385
00:15:52,227 --> 00:15:53,400
Guava. Guava?
386
00:15:53,469 --> 00:15:54,919
Guava.
387
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,127
I like papaya.
388
00:15:56,196 --> 00:15:57,957
Guava. Guava.
389
00:15:58,026 --> 00:16:01,029
Guava. The juice
that's as much fun to say
as it is to drink.
390
00:16:01,098 --> 00:16:02,789
Guava.
391
00:16:02,858 --> 00:16:04,722
Mr. Frank,
could I speak to you
for a minute?
392
00:16:04,791 --> 00:16:05,861
Sure. Hi.
393
00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:06,966
Hi, Trish.
394
00:16:10,693 --> 00:16:12,281
Splink, splink.
395
00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:14,974
Guava.
396
00:16:15,043 --> 00:16:16,251
Guava, guava.
397
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,115
Splink.
Splink, splink.
398
00:16:18,184 --> 00:16:19,909
Guava, guava,
splink, splink.
399
00:16:23,223 --> 00:16:24,397
See you.
400
00:16:53,081 --> 00:16:55,359
Let that be a lesson
to the rest of you.
401
00:17:01,848 --> 00:17:04,264
Hi. Hi.
402
00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:05,748
I'm thinking about
renting a boat.
403
00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:08,406
Ah! Do you like boats?
404
00:17:11,651 --> 00:17:13,446
Love boats. I like boats, too.
405
00:17:13,515 --> 00:17:16,311
Yeah, right, well,
then you can be
my very best friend.
406
00:17:17,174 --> 00:17:19,624
Are you a sailor, sir?
407
00:17:19,693 --> 00:17:21,419
Yeah, you can
call me Popeye.
408
00:17:21,488 --> 00:17:24,250
Okay. And where are we
going today, skipper?
409
00:17:26,976 --> 00:17:29,738
Who knows?
Maybe Canada.
410
00:17:29,807 --> 00:17:32,499
Yeah, eat me some bacon,
drink me some beer.
411
00:17:32,568 --> 00:17:37,159
Oh, I don't know.
Canada? It's pretty far away.
412
00:17:37,228 --> 00:17:40,369
All right, then
I'll just paddle around
till the rope says no.
413
00:17:40,438 --> 00:17:42,509
Very good, sir.
Oh, hey, look at that.
414
00:17:42,578 --> 00:17:45,098
Our boats seem to be
all rented out.
415
00:17:46,651 --> 00:17:48,826
All right, then
we'll just have to
attack by air.
416
00:17:48,895 --> 00:17:50,448
[CHUCKLING
CONDESCENDINGLY]
417
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,456
It just breaks
your heart, doesn't it?
418
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:04,221
[CALYPSO MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO]
419
00:18:05,222 --> 00:18:06,844
[GRUNTING]
420
00:18:06,913 --> 00:18:08,466
How do you expect me
to take a nap around here
421
00:18:08,535 --> 00:18:10,813
with this tika-tika-tika-tika?
422
00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:13,885
There's the speaker!
423
00:18:15,232 --> 00:18:16,509
[GRUNTS]
424
00:18:19,719 --> 00:18:22,687
Can't stop the music.
Can't stop the music.
425
00:18:25,449 --> 00:18:27,347
Here you go,
tika-tika-tika.
426
00:18:27,416 --> 00:18:29,487
Here, tika-tika-
tika-tika-tika.
427
00:18:29,556 --> 00:18:30,592
Come here.
428
00:18:39,946 --> 00:18:42,259
May I help, sir?Yeah, two, please.
429
00:18:43,881 --> 00:18:45,227
Yes, of course.
430
00:18:48,368 --> 00:18:49,680
Thank you.
431
00:18:57,274 --> 00:18:58,965
Is that all right?
432
00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:00,622
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
433
00:19:03,418 --> 00:19:04,798
How you doin' today?
434
00:19:05,523 --> 00:19:06,697
Hello.
435
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:11,391
Can I borrow
that knife? That knife?
436
00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:13,186
Yeah. Why?
437
00:19:13,255 --> 00:19:15,119
I just wanna butter my roll. Oh, I'll butter
your roll for you.
438
00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:17,466
No, you don't have to... No, really, I do.
439
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,402
Thank you.
440
00:19:22,471 --> 00:19:23,679
Hey.
441
00:19:23,748 --> 00:19:25,336
Hi. Hey,
how was your lesson?
442
00:19:25,405 --> 00:19:27,718
It was good.
How was your day?Uh, good.
443
00:19:27,787 --> 00:19:29,133
Did you talk
to anybody?
444
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:30,583
Not really. Why?
445
00:19:30,652 --> 00:19:32,309
Okay, here's the thing.Madam?
446
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:34,000
Monsieur.
447
00:19:34,069 --> 00:19:35,484
Thank you.
448
00:19:35,553 --> 00:19:38,349
When you get a chance,
can I get a knife, please?
449
00:19:40,869 --> 00:19:42,008
What's going on?
450
00:19:42,077 --> 00:19:45,632
Okay, you're gonna laugh. Hi!
451
00:19:45,701 --> 00:19:48,256
Oh, oh, Trish, I don't know
if you've done
tomorrow's schedule,
452
00:19:48,325 --> 00:19:50,637
but I'd love to get in
on that parasailing.
453
00:19:50,706 --> 00:19:53,295
We have a lovely
lanyard class.
454
00:19:53,364 --> 00:19:55,677
I don't want to take
a lanyard class.
455
00:19:55,746 --> 00:19:57,334
My guests find it
very soothing.
456
00:19:57,403 --> 00:19:59,336
Okay. Well, what about
the parasailing?
457
00:19:59,405 --> 00:20:01,165
You can make a key ring. I already have a key ring.
458
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:03,271
All right, all right,
just settle down.
Settle down.
459
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:09,208
What's going on? All right, all right. Um,
460
00:20:09,277 --> 00:20:12,211
it's possible
that some people here
461
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,385
may think you're a little
462
00:20:14,454 --> 00:20:15,455
crazy.
463
00:20:16,836 --> 00:20:18,009
Why would they
think that?
464
00:20:18,078 --> 00:20:19,597
Because I might've
told them that you were.
465
00:20:19,666 --> 00:20:21,012
You might have?
466
00:20:21,081 --> 00:20:22,428
I'm sorry. What's-her-name
heard us telling people stuff,
467
00:20:22,497 --> 00:20:24,292
and I had to say something.
468
00:20:24,361 --> 00:20:25,707
So that's what
you came up with?
That we're crazy?
469
00:20:25,776 --> 00:20:28,848
No, just you.
Boy, I'm hungry.
470
00:20:28,917 --> 00:20:30,090
Are you ready
to order?
471
00:20:30,159 --> 00:20:31,540
Uh...
Yeah, listen,
472
00:20:31,609 --> 00:20:34,129
I don't know
what you heard.
I'm not crazy.
473
00:20:35,164 --> 00:20:36,442
I'll come back.
474
00:20:39,065 --> 00:20:40,618
Uh, I'm-- I'm not crazy.
475
00:20:40,687 --> 00:20:42,137
Of course not.
476
00:20:42,206 --> 00:20:44,381
And I'm not a diplomat. Of course not.
477
00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:45,485
I'm a filmmaker.
478
00:20:45,554 --> 00:20:46,693
Really? Yes.
479
00:20:46,762 --> 00:20:47,867
Are you
Alfred Hitchcock?
480
00:20:49,938 --> 00:20:51,905
No, I'm not
Alfred Hitchcock.
481
00:20:51,974 --> 00:20:54,667
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Is there a situation?
482
00:20:54,736 --> 00:20:58,395
Yes, there's a situation.
You told everybody
that I'm crazy?
483
00:20:58,464 --> 00:21:01,018
I had a responsibility.
484
00:21:01,087 --> 00:21:03,469
You want to know the truth?
Okay, here is the truth.
485
00:21:03,538 --> 00:21:07,714
We came on vacation,
and we got a little
carried away.
486
00:21:07,783 --> 00:21:10,061
We're not doctors.
We're not diplomats.
487
00:21:10,130 --> 00:21:13,858
We're not astronauts.
We're not rodeo clowns.
488
00:21:13,927 --> 00:21:16,171
I am not my father.
She is not my mother.
489
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,000
This whole trip
has been one big lie.
490
00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:20,762
And I gotta tell you,
I'm getting a little tired
of being everybody else.
491
00:21:20,831 --> 00:21:22,419
I am Paul Buchman,
492
00:21:22,488 --> 00:21:24,800
I'm a documentary filmmaker
from New York,
493
00:21:24,869 --> 00:21:26,975
and I can butter
my own roll.
494
00:21:28,701 --> 00:21:30,772
This is my wife,
her name is Jamie,
495
00:21:30,841 --> 00:21:33,015
she runs a PR firm
out of our living room,
496
00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:36,778
and she has a French exam
in two weeks.
497
00:21:36,847 --> 00:21:39,401
All right?
Do you understand this?
We are who we are,
498
00:21:39,470 --> 00:21:42,301
and from now on,
that's all we're gonna be.
499
00:21:44,993 --> 00:21:46,615
Thank you.
Does everybody
understand?
500
00:21:46,684 --> 00:21:47,823
Has everybody
got that?
501
00:21:50,930 --> 00:21:53,104
PAUL: So I don't really need
your lanyard class.
502
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:57,557
Ooh, I like your lanyard.
503
00:21:57,626 --> 00:21:58,869
Thank you.
504
00:22:05,013 --> 00:22:07,705
[CALYPSO MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO]
505
00:22:07,774 --> 00:22:10,950
Come on, honey.
If you can't beat 'em,
join 'em. Come on.
506
00:22:19,959 --> 00:22:21,685
Hey, dig me.
507
00:22:21,754 --> 00:22:23,514
I'm Harry Belafonte.
36288
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