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1
00:00:03,727 --> 00:00:06,523
Hi. Is this the Snappy Baby
catalog company?
2
00:00:06,661 --> 00:00:08,111
No, I'm not calling
about an order.
3
00:00:08,249 --> 00:00:09,940
Actually, I'm calling
to tell you that
4
00:00:10,079 --> 00:00:14,186
we don't want any more
Snappy Baby catalogs
in our mail box.
5
00:00:14,324 --> 00:00:16,809
Yeah, no, we're just
getting an awful lot
of catalogs.
6
00:00:16,947 --> 00:00:18,328
So, here are your choices.
7
00:00:18,466 --> 00:00:21,400
Either you stop
inundating me with your
Snappy Baby catalogs
8
00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:24,714
or I will come right down
there and I will slap
plastic explosives
9
00:00:24,852 --> 00:00:27,544
around your warehouse,
and I'll blow
the whole place to dust.
10
00:00:27,682 --> 00:00:29,374
Yes... One second.
11
00:00:29,512 --> 00:00:33,378
Oh, I'm sorry.
The item K-3057,
the activity quilt,
12
00:00:33,516 --> 00:00:34,586
does that come in a pink?
13
00:00:46,874 --> 00:00:50,705
♪ Tell me why
I love you like I do
14
00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:53,432
♪ Tell me who
can stop my heart
15
00:00:53,570 --> 00:00:54,847
♪ As much as you
16
00:00:54,985 --> 00:00:56,573
♪ Let's take each other's hand
17
00:00:56,711 --> 00:00:59,818
♪ As we jump into
the final frontier ♪
18
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,304
JAMIE: This is our first
night out since
before the baby.
19
00:01:03,442 --> 00:01:04,443
I want it to be perfect.
20
00:01:04,581 --> 00:01:06,583
Well, I am
very excited also, but...
21
00:01:06,721 --> 00:01:09,207
I need you to do me
a favor here.
Could you unclasp me?
22
00:01:09,345 --> 00:01:10,415
There's something
dreadfully wrong
23
00:01:10,553 --> 00:01:12,658
with my pants.
24
00:01:12,796 --> 00:01:15,005
I'm so glad we finally
found a good babysitter.
25
00:01:15,144 --> 00:01:16,731
Oh, I know.
26
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:18,595
I was beginning to think
we'd never find anybody
we were comfortable with.
27
00:01:18,733 --> 00:01:19,976
Believe me.
28
00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:21,805
Arley just exudes
such confidence, doesn't she?
29
00:01:21,943 --> 00:01:23,324
Yes, she does.
30
00:01:23,462 --> 00:01:25,533
It's hard to believe
she hasn't been a mother
ten times over.
31
00:01:25,671 --> 00:01:27,811
[GROANS]
What are you doing now?
You're killing me.
32
00:01:27,949 --> 00:01:29,365
Wait a minute.
Are these your pants?
33
00:01:29,503 --> 00:01:30,435
What do you mean?
34
00:01:30,573 --> 00:01:32,161
Sweetie, these
are not your pants.
35
00:01:33,162 --> 00:01:34,887
What, do we have
a roommate? Yeah.
36
00:01:35,025 --> 00:01:37,545
Come on. These are my
Zamilda Fuccini black pants
37
00:01:37,683 --> 00:01:39,375
with the pleats
and the one inch cuffs.
38
00:01:39,513 --> 00:01:40,445
Excuse me.
39
00:01:40,583 --> 00:01:42,688
What? Hey, no cuffs.
See?
40
00:01:42,826 --> 00:01:44,000
So these are not my pants.
41
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,898
Maybe they got switched
at the dry cleaners.
42
00:01:46,313 --> 00:01:47,452
Oh!
43
00:01:48,418 --> 00:01:51,111
Well, get them off of me.
Unlock me.
44
00:01:51,249 --> 00:01:53,216
You have to calm down.
I'm trapped in
another man's pants.
45
00:01:53,354 --> 00:01:55,287
All right. Let me...
Very disconcerting.
I'm walking around.
46
00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:56,599
There's a guy.
Who knows what happened?
47
00:01:56,737 --> 00:01:58,083
Look, "Custom..."
48
00:01:58,221 --> 00:02:01,431
Look at this.
"Custom made
for D. Copperfield?"
49
00:02:01,569 --> 00:02:03,019
Good. So I'm in
D. Copperfield's pants.
50
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,641
It doesn't make me
feel any better.
51
00:02:04,779 --> 00:02:06,298
You think it could be
David Copperfield?
52
00:02:07,368 --> 00:02:08,473
What, the magician?
I don't know.
53
00:02:08,611 --> 00:02:09,853
Sweetie, come on.
It's New York City.
54
00:02:09,991 --> 00:02:11,717
You know how many
D. Copperfields there must be?
55
00:02:11,855 --> 00:02:13,305
You look in a phone book
under any name,
56
00:02:13,443 --> 00:02:15,376
any name at all,
there's like 4,000 entires.
57
00:02:15,514 --> 00:02:17,240
Even the oddball names,
you know what I mean.
58
00:02:17,378 --> 00:02:18,655
Even... Like...
59
00:02:25,075 --> 00:02:26,146
Sweetie.
60
00:02:27,354 --> 00:02:28,631
Okay.
61
00:02:28,769 --> 00:02:31,047
I... I got
David Copperfield's pants.
62
00:02:32,635 --> 00:02:34,430
That is so cool!
63
00:02:34,568 --> 00:02:36,121
Okay, you know,
you go to dinner by yourself
64
00:02:36,259 --> 00:02:38,261
because I wanna see
how long this lasts.
65
00:02:39,814 --> 00:02:42,576
You know, I bet you
there's some special lock
on them or something.
66
00:02:42,714 --> 00:02:44,785
No, that's Houdini's pants.
67
00:02:44,923 --> 00:02:46,545
No, no, no,
I saw this guy on Letterman.
68
00:02:46,683 --> 00:02:50,031
This magician guy,
he pulled really hard,
the pants just flew off.
69
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,241
Fly away pants?
Yeah, yeah, let me just...
70
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,659
Did he have a magic word?
He must've had...
71
00:02:56,797 --> 00:02:58,488
No, he didn't.
He just looked
with a little smile,
72
00:02:58,626 --> 00:03:00,214
he did like
an eyebrow thing,
and then...
73
00:03:00,352 --> 00:03:02,251
Okay, you know what?
Get out of here.
All right.
74
00:03:02,389 --> 00:03:03,666
Ow.
75
00:03:03,804 --> 00:03:06,841
Doesn't David Copperfield
have some show now
on Broadway?
76
00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,567
Yes, he does.
77
00:03:08,705 --> 00:03:10,914
So, we'll drop them off
at the theater
on our way to dinner.
78
00:03:11,052 --> 00:03:12,709
Now you're thinking.
79
00:03:12,847 --> 00:03:14,435
Poor guy. He probably
needs them for his show.
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
80
00:03:14,573 --> 00:03:16,886
Hey. Do you realize he's
probably got my pants.
81
00:03:17,024 --> 00:03:19,371
How'd you like that?
You're on stage, in front
of 2,000 people,
82
00:03:19,509 --> 00:03:21,373
reach into your pocket,
pull out a packet of gum.
83
00:03:22,754 --> 00:03:23,686
Hey, Arley.
Hi.
84
00:03:23,824 --> 00:03:24,894
JAMIE:
Hi, Arley. Come on in.
85
00:03:25,032 --> 00:03:26,654
Sweetie, look,
you remember Arley.
86
00:03:26,792 --> 00:03:29,347
Hey, Mabel. Hi, sweetie.
87
00:03:29,485 --> 00:03:30,486
Look.
88
00:03:30,624 --> 00:03:31,832
You think she knows
we're going out?
89
00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:33,834
Yeah. They know everything,
they just can't say.
90
00:03:33,972 --> 00:03:36,146
Yeah. I bet
you're probably right.
It's okay, baby.
91
00:03:36,285 --> 00:03:37,734
You remember Arley.
Yeah, come here.
92
00:03:37,872 --> 00:03:39,598
Oh, it's all right.
93
00:03:39,736 --> 00:03:42,360
Honey, we're gonna
have fun tonight.
94
00:03:42,498 --> 00:03:44,258
You know what?
We're gonna do some reading.
95
00:03:44,396 --> 00:03:47,399
Followed by a vigorous
discussion period.
96
00:03:47,537 --> 00:03:50,264
Okay, she just had a big meal.
We'll only be out
for an hour and a half tops.
97
00:03:50,402 --> 00:03:51,576
So that won't be a problem.
98
00:03:51,714 --> 00:03:52,991
This is the number
of the restaurant,
99
00:03:53,129 --> 00:03:56,236
this is Paul's parents,
my parents, Dr. Kekitch,
100
00:03:56,374 --> 00:03:58,065
our cousin Ira,
and Nat who walks our dog.
101
00:03:58,203 --> 00:03:59,963
All right, sweetie,
let's get going.
102
00:04:00,101 --> 00:04:01,206
So you'll call us
for any reason?
103
00:04:01,344 --> 00:04:02,587
Yeah.
Okay.
104
00:04:04,623 --> 00:04:06,936
Goodbye, cutie.
Goodbye, sweet angel.
105
00:04:07,074 --> 00:04:08,800
We're gonna be back
really soon.
106
00:04:08,938 --> 00:04:10,180
We'll miss you
the whole time.
107
00:04:10,319 --> 00:04:11,389
You guys have fun.
108
00:04:11,527 --> 00:04:13,253
Okay. Bye-bye.
Thanks.
109
00:04:15,738 --> 00:04:17,015
Sweetie.
110
00:04:17,153 --> 00:04:18,465
Right, right, right,
right, right.
111
00:04:23,401 --> 00:04:26,162
And look at that,
no more handkerchiefs.
112
00:04:28,544 --> 00:04:30,166
You okay?
Uh-huh.
113
00:04:31,754 --> 00:04:32,996
You gonna get
the garlic bread?
114
00:04:33,134 --> 00:04:34,619
Where?
At the restaurant.
115
00:04:34,757 --> 00:04:36,276
Uh, probably, yeah.
116
00:04:38,243 --> 00:04:39,900
Tough leaving
the baby at home, huh?
Oh, my God.
117
00:04:40,038 --> 00:04:41,936
You know what, sweetie?
It's gonna be okay.
118
00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:43,559
She's in good hands, right?
119
00:04:43,697 --> 00:04:45,043
Yes.
120
00:04:45,181 --> 00:04:47,045
It's not like we can be
with her every second
of every day.
121
00:04:47,183 --> 00:04:48,667
You couldn't.
122
00:04:48,805 --> 00:04:50,842
A time comes when you
have to just be strong
and do it.
123
00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:52,257
Right.
Right.
124
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,224
Stop the car.
125
00:04:54,363 --> 00:04:55,364
No, no, what are you doing?
Stop the car.
126
00:04:55,502 --> 00:04:56,503
Sweetie...
I'm getting out.
127
00:04:56,641 --> 00:04:58,021
How could we just
leave her there?
128
00:04:58,159 --> 00:04:59,506
Wait, what...
With a stranger.
129
00:04:59,644 --> 00:05:00,955
What are we, nuts?
We're not nuts.
130
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,302
We're horrible people.
131
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:03,751
We're very decent people.
I'm gonna throw up.
132
00:05:03,889 --> 00:05:05,132
Are you serious?
My throat is tightening.
133
00:05:05,270 --> 00:05:07,376
Okay, hang on a second.
Loosen my throat.
134
00:05:07,514 --> 00:05:09,101
Stop the car, please.
What is happening to me?
135
00:05:09,239 --> 00:05:10,448
Okay, sweetie, it's nothing.
136
00:05:10,586 --> 00:05:12,346
Oh, my God.
Sweetie, it's nothing.
137
00:05:13,036 --> 00:05:14,037
Hey.
138
00:05:23,633 --> 00:05:25,048
Sweetie.
What?
139
00:05:26,395 --> 00:05:27,465
Here.
140
00:05:28,293 --> 00:05:29,259
Pet the bunny.
141
00:05:30,399 --> 00:05:32,332
Little bunny.
Where'd you get a bunny?
142
00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:34,230
From my pants.
143
00:05:35,852 --> 00:05:37,302
Really?
Uh-huh.
144
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:38,614
Little bunny.
145
00:05:39,269 --> 00:05:40,788
Hi, little bunny.
146
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:42,652
Hi, bunny.
147
00:05:42,790 --> 00:05:44,136
Are you okay?
148
00:05:44,274 --> 00:05:46,587
Yeah. I'm, uh...
149
00:05:46,725 --> 00:05:48,209
I'm actually...
I'm scared of my pants.
150
00:05:49,245 --> 00:05:50,729
I wanna do
a spot check on Mabel.
151
00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:52,662
I'm gonna go with you.
No, no, it'll take too long.
152
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,871
You return the pants,
I'll do the spot check,
meet you at the restaurant.
153
00:05:55,009 --> 00:05:56,010
All right.
Wait.
154
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:57,736
What?
Give me an excuse.
155
00:05:57,874 --> 00:05:59,117
For what?
For Arley.
156
00:05:59,255 --> 00:06:01,084
Otherwise, she'll think
I'm crazy for going back.
157
00:06:01,775 --> 00:06:02,948
Tell her you found a bunny.
158
00:06:05,226 --> 00:06:06,573
Right.
Just don't tell her
where you got it.
159
00:06:06,711 --> 00:06:08,506
Okay.
Give me a hug, you.
160
00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:11,163
I love you.
I love you, too.
161
00:06:11,301 --> 00:06:13,062
I'm sorry I messed up
the evening.
162
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,857
Hey, you're not
messing up the evening.
163
00:06:14,995 --> 00:06:18,136
You're being the best mom
in the whole world
is what you're doing.
164
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,667
[TOY SQUEAKS]
165
00:06:36,568 --> 00:06:37,845
I'm sorry. That's...
166
00:06:38,639 --> 00:06:40,158
That's never happened before.
167
00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:06,529
Is everything all right?
168
00:07:07,875 --> 00:07:09,014
Yeah.
169
00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:12,121
I was just
returning my bunny.
170
00:07:14,088 --> 00:07:15,124
I see.
171
00:07:40,874 --> 00:07:42,013
Can I help you?
172
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:45,603
May I use your phone?
173
00:07:48,295 --> 00:07:49,676
ARLEY: Okay,
here we go.
174
00:07:49,814 --> 00:07:52,713
Chapter one,
"Call me Ishmael.
175
00:07:53,714 --> 00:07:55,336
"Some years ago..."
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
176
00:07:57,028 --> 00:07:59,686
That's right.
It is written
in the first person.
177
00:08:02,378 --> 00:08:03,310
Who is it?
178
00:08:03,448 --> 00:08:04,863
It's Ira, Paulie's cousin.
179
00:08:05,001 --> 00:08:05,933
Hi.
Hi.
180
00:08:06,071 --> 00:08:07,141
Can I come in?
181
00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:08,660
Can I see two forms
of identification,
182
00:08:08,798 --> 00:08:10,248
including something
with a picture?
183
00:08:11,905 --> 00:08:13,044
Really?
Yeah.
184
00:08:13,182 --> 00:08:14,563
I'm sorry I have to ask.
185
00:08:14,701 --> 00:08:16,254
No, no, no,
hey, Arley, that's good.
186
00:08:16,392 --> 00:08:18,049
You're just doing your job.
187
00:08:18,187 --> 00:08:19,429
All right, here we go.
188
00:08:21,155 --> 00:08:24,262
Drivers license, good.
189
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,885
Smile like you've been
standing in line
for three hours.
190
00:08:28,991 --> 00:08:30,544
Can I come in now?
191
00:08:30,682 --> 00:08:32,891
When's your birthday?
March 25th.
192
00:08:33,029 --> 00:08:34,237
How much do you weigh?
193
00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:35,756
Now or then?
Then.
194
00:08:36,585 --> 00:08:38,690
140.
Are you an organ donor?
195
00:08:38,828 --> 00:08:40,105
No.
How come?
196
00:08:42,798 --> 00:08:44,524
Because I have
lingering doubts.
197
00:08:44,662 --> 00:08:46,595
Arley, could you
open the door, please?
198
00:08:50,288 --> 00:08:51,461
Hey.
199
00:08:52,635 --> 00:08:55,017
Arley, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
200
00:08:55,155 --> 00:08:57,916
I was just sitting at home.
I thought I'd stop by
201
00:08:58,054 --> 00:08:59,918
and, you know,
show Mabel my pet rabbit.
202
00:09:00,056 --> 00:09:01,989
Huh, really?
Yeah.
203
00:09:02,127 --> 00:09:03,646
Yeah.
Okay.
204
00:09:03,784 --> 00:09:05,027
Hey, here you go.
Look, Mabel.
205
00:09:05,165 --> 00:09:06,580
Look at the little rabbit.
206
00:09:12,828 --> 00:09:14,899
So, what's its name?
207
00:09:15,037 --> 00:09:16,625
Uh, Stewie.
Stewie?
208
00:09:17,073 --> 00:09:18,730
Yeah. So,
209
00:09:18,868 --> 00:09:20,387
tell me something.
How's Mabel?
210
00:09:20,525 --> 00:09:21,561
Oh, she's great.
211
00:09:21,699 --> 00:09:22,631
Oh, good.
212
00:09:22,769 --> 00:09:24,494
Any troubles at all?
213
00:09:24,633 --> 00:09:26,151
No, none.
Good.
214
00:09:26,289 --> 00:09:28,153
How about you? You okay?
215
00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:30,673
Oh, me. Hey,
I've never been better.
216
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,262
So how long
have you had Stewie?
217
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:34,953
Who?
The rabbit.
218
00:09:36,748 --> 00:09:39,889
Uh, long time.
Almost, uh, 20 years now.
219
00:09:40,441 --> 00:09:42,892
Really? Wow!
220
00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:47,310
'Cause a rabbit's life
expectancy is usually
like five years.
221
00:09:47,448 --> 00:09:48,795
Yeah, well,
he's a battler.
222
00:09:51,211 --> 00:09:52,419
What have you
and Mabel been doing?
223
00:09:52,557 --> 00:09:54,421
Reading.
Reading? What?
224
00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,250
Moby Dick.
225
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:58,494
Moby Dick?What, are you kidding me?
226
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,221
Babies love Moby Dick.
227
00:10:01,359 --> 00:10:03,050
It has beautiful
rhythm and melody.
228
00:10:03,188 --> 00:10:04,638
No kidding.
Yeah.
229
00:10:04,776 --> 00:10:06,536
All right, well,
I guess, uh,
230
00:10:06,675 --> 00:10:08,677
I guess Louie and I
will be hopping on
out of here then.
231
00:10:09,574 --> 00:10:10,851
Louie?
232
00:10:10,989 --> 00:10:12,301
Hewy.
Stewie.
233
00:10:12,991 --> 00:10:14,165
It's a rabbit.
234
00:10:15,718 --> 00:10:17,893
Very nice to meet both of you.
You, too.
235
00:10:22,242 --> 00:10:23,519
Your mommy did a spot check.
236
00:10:31,976 --> 00:10:33,046
Hi.
237
00:10:33,184 --> 00:10:34,875
Hi.
Well, look at you.
238
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,395
What?
You look different.
239
00:10:37,533 --> 00:10:40,087
Well, I had a baby.
Last tie you saw me
I was pregnant.
240
00:10:40,743 --> 00:10:41,882
No, that's not it.
241
00:10:44,264 --> 00:10:45,921
I bet it is.
No, no.
242
00:10:47,543 --> 00:10:48,820
Okay.
243
00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,511
New haircut?
No.
244
00:10:51,789 --> 00:10:53,100
You got your braces off.
245
00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:56,932
You know what?
That's exactly right.
Yes, I did.
246
00:10:57,864 --> 00:11:00,349
Yeah.
And you sold your hat.
247
00:11:01,730 --> 00:11:02,800
Yes.
248
00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:04,664
Just as well.
249
00:11:06,735 --> 00:11:08,529
Hey, James.
So?
250
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,428
So all's well.
Really?
251
00:11:10,566 --> 00:11:12,844
Yeah. The picture of
a perfect babysitter.
252
00:11:12,982 --> 00:11:14,363
What was she doing?
253
00:11:14,501 --> 00:11:17,504
She was reading to her. Moby Dick,if you can believe that.
254
00:11:17,642 --> 00:11:20,887
Moby Dick, that's perfect.
It has such rhythm and melody.
255
00:11:22,889 --> 00:11:24,269
God bless the both of you.
256
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,341
So, things seem
under control?
257
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:28,895
Absolutely.
She's perfectly happy,
258
00:11:29,033 --> 00:11:30,137
you got nothing
to worry about.
259
00:11:30,275 --> 00:11:31,276
Okay. [SIGHS]
260
00:11:31,414 --> 00:11:32,761
Okay, what can I get you?
261
00:11:32,899 --> 00:11:34,279
Club soda is good.
262
00:11:34,417 --> 00:11:35,798
Okay. And for the rabbit?
263
00:11:38,249 --> 00:11:39,664
Nothing, thanks.
264
00:11:39,802 --> 00:11:41,528
Okay, how about here?
Nothing for me, thank you.
265
00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:42,702
Okay. Ew!
266
00:11:44,013 --> 00:11:45,290
What?
267
00:11:45,428 --> 00:11:47,051
Did you ever see Psycho?
268
00:11:47,189 --> 00:11:48,259
Yeah.
269
00:11:55,404 --> 00:11:57,751
It's amazing.
You should've seen Mabel
lying there, cooing.
270
00:11:57,889 --> 00:11:59,477
She was cooing?
Yeah.
271
00:12:00,685 --> 00:12:02,273
Cooing or fussing?
272
00:12:02,411 --> 00:12:04,724
Cooing.
'Cause you know a fuss can
sound a lot like a coo.
273
00:12:04,862 --> 00:12:07,140
James, you know what,
do yourself a favor,
all right?
274
00:12:07,278 --> 00:12:09,038
Go to dinner
with your husband.
275
00:12:09,176 --> 00:12:10,868
I will, I will.
You promise?
276
00:12:11,006 --> 00:12:12,490
Yes, I'm gonna get the check
and then go
straight to the restaurant.
277
00:12:12,628 --> 00:12:13,871
All right.
Okay.
278
00:12:15,148 --> 00:12:18,151
Excuse me.
May I use your phone?
279
00:12:18,289 --> 00:12:21,292
Yeah, it's kind of
in my house so I'm not
real comfortable with that.
280
00:12:26,469 --> 00:12:27,539
[BANGING ON DOOR]
281
00:12:27,677 --> 00:12:28,782
PAUL: Hello!
282
00:12:30,370 --> 00:12:31,681
Hi.
Hello.
283
00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:33,304
I need to see
David Copperfield.
284
00:12:33,442 --> 00:12:35,547
Yeah,
you and everybody else, pal.
285
00:12:35,685 --> 00:12:37,653
Show's been sold out
for 11 months.
286
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:41,208
No, but I actually...
I need to see
Mr. Copperfield personally.
287
00:12:41,346 --> 00:12:42,416
And why is that?
288
00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:44,211
Well, uh...
289
00:12:44,936 --> 00:12:45,972
I'm wearing his pants.
290
00:12:47,283 --> 00:12:49,113
Well, look, pal,
maybe you ought to...
291
00:12:49,251 --> 00:12:51,598
Okay, do you want me
to prove to you that these
are David Copperfield's pants?
292
00:12:51,736 --> 00:12:53,600
Sure.
Okay.
293
00:12:53,738 --> 00:12:55,464
All right.
Well, watch this.
294
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,224
Voila.
295
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:01,125
Goodnight.
No, no, I didn't...
296
00:13:01,263 --> 00:13:02,540
Goodnight!
297
00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:06,682
Ooh. Hey.
298
00:13:08,132 --> 00:13:09,374
Ice cream?
299
00:13:21,352 --> 00:13:23,147
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
300
00:13:28,946 --> 00:13:30,810
[RINGING CONTINUES]
301
00:13:39,749 --> 00:13:41,199
[RINGING CONTINUES]
302
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:47,619
Hi, this is David.
I can't come to
the pants right now,
303
00:13:47,757 --> 00:13:50,519
but if you leave a message
I'll get back to you
as soon as I can.
304
00:13:51,106 --> 00:13:52,279
[BEEPING]
305
00:13:53,418 --> 00:13:54,557
Hello?
306
00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:57,215
Hey! Hey!
307
00:13:57,906 --> 00:13:59,562
Hello?
308
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:01,771
Hello!
Well, hello to you.
309
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,429
I've been expecting you.
310
00:14:07,398 --> 00:14:09,814
"Queequeg was
a native of Kokovoko,
311
00:14:09,952 --> 00:14:11,333
"an island..."
[DOORBELL BUZZING]
312
00:14:12,265 --> 00:14:14,405
Okay. Time for
another spot check.
313
00:14:14,923 --> 00:14:15,889
Who is it?
314
00:14:16,027 --> 00:14:17,891
It's Nat, ma'am, the walker.
315
00:14:18,029 --> 00:14:19,962
Of the dog, ma'am,
if I may.
316
00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:22,516
How can I be sure it's you?
317
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:24,933
Yeah, I appreciate
your predicament here.
318
00:14:25,071 --> 00:14:28,764
Oh, uh, my mother's
maiden name was Ostertag.
319
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,284
Okay, but I don't
have that information.
320
00:14:31,422 --> 00:14:34,390
That... That would
be true, wouldn't it. Um...
321
00:14:34,528 --> 00:14:37,324
Gosh, oh, I think
I got it, ma'am.
322
00:14:37,462 --> 00:14:41,466
If you go to the back
bookshelf there behind
the little couch by the window,
323
00:14:41,604 --> 00:14:44,538
on the first shelf
you'll find a series
of books, all right?
324
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,195
You work from right to left,
325
00:14:46,333 --> 00:14:47,956
first book you should see
326
00:14:48,094 --> 00:14:50,959
is Joseph Mitchell's
Up in the Old Hotel.
327
00:14:51,097 --> 00:14:54,031
It's a scintillating collection
of his short stories
and articles.
328
00:14:54,169 --> 00:14:55,722
Right.
329
00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:57,793
Next to that,
you'll find Saul Bellow's
classic, Herzog.
330
00:14:58,725 --> 00:15:00,796
Yeah.
And next to that
331
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:02,591
is Al Frankie's latest.
332
00:15:02,729 --> 00:15:05,352
That's, uh,
Humorous Indictment
of the Radical Right.
333
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:07,768
Yeah.
334
00:15:09,287 --> 00:15:11,048
Hi there. Hi, I'm Nat.
335
00:15:11,186 --> 00:15:12,532
Hi. Arley. Nice to meet you.
336
00:15:12,670 --> 00:15:14,292
Pleasure to meet you.
337
00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:15,776
Yeah. There she is, huh?
338
00:15:16,674 --> 00:15:18,434
Hey, there, Mabel.
339
00:15:18,572 --> 00:15:21,299
Oh, hey there,
Mabel Mercer.
340
00:15:21,437 --> 00:15:22,956
Hey there, Mabel not today,
341
00:15:23,094 --> 00:15:24,993
Mabel not tomorrow,
but soon and for
the rest of your life.
342
00:15:26,373 --> 00:15:27,961
So what can I do for you?
343
00:15:28,099 --> 00:15:30,791
Nothing. Nothing,
I'm just here to walk the dog.
344
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,276
Murray, the dog.
345
00:15:32,414 --> 00:15:33,587
You walk Murray at night?
346
00:15:35,486 --> 00:15:37,384
Yes.
347
00:15:37,522 --> 00:15:40,698
Yes, he finds it...
You know, the streets
are less crowded, you know.
348
00:15:40,836 --> 00:15:42,769
Less full of
distracting, uh...
349
00:15:43,459 --> 00:15:45,082
Other dogs.
Uh-huh.
350
00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:48,361
Um, has the evening been
a pleasant one for both
babysitter and--
351
00:15:48,499 --> 00:15:49,879
Bae there.
352
00:15:51,019 --> 00:15:52,917
Oh, I'm sorry.
353
00:15:53,055 --> 00:15:55,230
If this makes
you uncomfortable,
I can do it inside.
354
00:15:55,368 --> 00:15:57,025
Please, no,
that's okay. I...
355
00:15:57,163 --> 00:16:00,131
Can I get you, uh,
newspaper, a zip lock bag?
356
00:16:00,269 --> 00:16:01,339
No.
357
00:16:02,892 --> 00:16:03,963
No thanks.
358
00:16:06,482 --> 00:16:08,450
Boy, you're really,
if I may say,
359
00:16:08,588 --> 00:16:10,486
you're really
very skilled there, huh.
360
00:16:10,624 --> 00:16:12,212
Thanks.
361
00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:15,043
No, sincerely. I mean,
you know, as one
caretaker to another,
362
00:16:15,181 --> 00:16:17,873
really, my hats off to you.
You're very deft.
363
00:16:18,701 --> 00:16:19,840
Thanks.
364
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,187
You're welcome.
365
00:16:22,912 --> 00:16:25,260
Okay. Things seem
to be top shelf here,
366
00:16:25,398 --> 00:16:27,538
so, uh,
very nice to meet you,
367
00:16:27,676 --> 00:16:30,610
and glad to see
Mabel there is in
such good hands here.
368
00:16:30,748 --> 00:16:31,887
Aren't you gonna
walk Murray?
369
00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:35,995
Yes. Yes, I will.
370
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,794
So I imagine
you have my pants?
371
00:16:42,932 --> 00:16:45,142
Zemelda Fuccini, pleated,
with one inch cuffs?
372
00:16:45,832 --> 00:16:46,764
That's the one.
373
00:16:46,902 --> 00:16:48,283
You know, I called you.
374
00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:50,216
You know, I figured
that was you,
but how do...
375
00:16:50,354 --> 00:16:51,631
How do you
answer these things?
376
00:16:51,769 --> 00:16:54,013
Well, it's complicated.
You have to be sitting down.
377
00:16:58,948 --> 00:17:01,779
Well, anyway,
I imagine you need
these pants.
378
00:17:01,917 --> 00:17:04,299
Are you kidding me?
You got my encore
in your inseam.
379
00:17:06,508 --> 00:17:07,543
Thank you.
380
00:17:10,443 --> 00:17:12,445
You know, if you just
tell me how to get
out of these things,
381
00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:14,619
we can exchange pants
and both get on
with our lives.
382
00:17:14,757 --> 00:17:17,450
Well,
you cannot take them off.
Only I can take them off.
383
00:17:17,588 --> 00:17:21,040
Mr. Copperfield,
I enjoy magic as much
as the next fellow,
384
00:17:21,178 --> 00:17:24,595
but under the circumstances,
maybe we could just skip
the hoogidy-boogidy stuff.
385
00:17:25,699 --> 00:17:28,116
Now, reach into
the back pocket if you will.
386
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,187
All right.
387
00:17:30,325 --> 00:17:31,429
Hey, hey.
388
00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:33,466
Where'd this come from?
389
00:17:33,604 --> 00:17:35,330
Now, toss it into the sky.
390
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,435
All right, here we go.
391
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,299
Tossing.
392
00:17:40,887 --> 00:17:42,406
Ah!
393
00:17:42,544 --> 00:17:44,373
Yeah. Now, climb.
394
00:17:45,029 --> 00:17:46,203
I should... Seriously?
395
00:17:46,341 --> 00:17:47,480
Climb, my friend.
396
00:17:47,618 --> 00:17:48,964
All right, all right.
397
00:17:49,482 --> 00:17:50,690
Climbing.
398
00:17:52,209 --> 00:17:53,210
Hey, look at this.
399
00:17:53,348 --> 00:17:54,694
Yes, climb.
400
00:17:54,832 --> 00:17:57,041
I'm climbing, I'm climbing.
401
00:17:57,179 --> 00:17:58,974
Climbing like a monkey.
402
00:18:00,631 --> 00:18:02,219
Stop climbing.
Stop it?
403
00:18:03,358 --> 00:18:04,876
Also like a monkey.
404
00:18:05,843 --> 00:18:08,017
Now hold
perfectly still, please.
405
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:10,675
[GROANS]
406
00:18:15,059 --> 00:18:16,267
Mr. Copperfield?
407
00:18:16,405 --> 00:18:17,889
But I am gone.
408
00:18:21,169 --> 00:18:22,273
Hey.
409
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,344
One inch cuffs.
410
00:18:29,522 --> 00:18:31,800
You know, when I was little
I had one of those.
411
00:18:31,938 --> 00:18:34,113
A rabbit?
No, a purple sweater.
412
00:18:39,497 --> 00:18:41,016
Hey there, Mrs. Buchman.
Hi, Nat.
413
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,294
Hey.
Um, can I get you anything?
414
00:18:43,432 --> 00:18:46,297
Oh, uh, can I get
a virgin Mary to go,
if you would?
415
00:18:46,435 --> 00:18:47,919
Mmm-hmm.
Anything for the dog?
416
00:18:48,506 --> 00:18:49,921
Oh, no, no. No thanks.
417
00:18:50,059 --> 00:18:52,165
Okay. And still nothing
for the rabbit?
418
00:18:52,303 --> 00:18:53,304
No.
419
00:18:53,891 --> 00:18:55,134
That's mean.
420
00:18:58,171 --> 00:18:59,552
How's Mabel?
421
00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:02,486
Oh, she's great, Mrs. Buchman.
Just happy as a little clam.
422
00:19:02,624 --> 00:19:04,660
In fact, she was making
the cutest little noise.
423
00:19:04,798 --> 00:19:07,836
She was going like...
[MIMICS BABY COOING]
Like that.
424
00:19:08,526 --> 00:19:10,045
[REPEATS NOISE]
425
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:11,253
Yeah.
You sure it wasn't like...
426
00:19:11,391 --> 00:19:12,703
[MIMICS BABY CRYING]
427
00:19:13,842 --> 00:19:16,085
Because [MIMICS BABY COOING]
is good, Nat.
428
00:19:16,224 --> 00:19:18,364
But if she's going,
[MIMICS BABY CRYING]
it's bad, Nat.
429
00:19:18,502 --> 00:19:19,744
It's very bad.
430
00:19:23,886 --> 00:19:26,061
I'm pretty sure it was...
[MIMICS BABY COOING]
431
00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:27,787
It wasn't...
[MIMICS BABY CRYING]
432
00:19:27,925 --> 00:19:30,169
No, no, it was definitely...
[MIMICS BABY COOING]
433
00:19:30,307 --> 00:19:32,585
She was going...
[MIMICS BABY COOING]
434
00:19:32,723 --> 00:19:34,311
I'm going up there.
435
00:19:36,658 --> 00:19:38,315
"From beneath
the slouched hag,
436
00:19:38,453 --> 00:19:40,972
"Ahab dropped a tear
into the sea.
437
00:19:41,110 --> 00:19:43,527
"Nor did all the Pacific
contain such wealth
438
00:19:43,665 --> 00:19:46,978
"as that one wee drop."
[DOORBELL BUZZING]
439
00:19:47,116 --> 00:19:49,084
That's all for tonight, honey.
Mommy's home.
440
00:19:50,637 --> 00:19:52,329
Hi, it's me.
Hi.
441
00:19:52,467 --> 00:19:54,814
I'm sorry. I actually
forgot the address
of the restaurant.
442
00:19:54,952 --> 00:19:55,987
Can you believe that?
Sure.
443
00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:58,404
Happens all the time.
Hi, Stewie.
444
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,753
Nothing.
So I'm just gonna
grab the address
445
00:20:02,891 --> 00:20:05,100
and I will be on my way.
446
00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:06,826
You wanna check on Mabel?
447
00:20:06,964 --> 00:20:08,586
Don't be silly.
How's she doing?
448
00:20:09,587 --> 00:20:10,864
Oh.
449
00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:13,246
Come on, will you?
What?
450
00:20:13,384 --> 00:20:16,560
Listen, I don't mind
that you brought everyone in
to check on me.
451
00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:19,287
Arley, I don't know
what you're talking about.
452
00:20:19,425 --> 00:20:21,841
I also don't mind that
you all brought in
the same rabbit.
453
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:25,776
I, uh...
No, it's sweet.
454
00:20:25,914 --> 00:20:28,537
It's good.
It's what I would do,
you know, if I had a kid.
455
00:20:29,918 --> 00:20:31,264
Come, look at her.
456
00:20:32,369 --> 00:20:33,784
Thank you.
457
00:20:34,888 --> 00:20:36,165
Hey.
[MABEL COOS]
458
00:20:36,304 --> 00:20:37,581
Hey.
459
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,100
Look at her.
Yeah.
460
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,862
You know what?
You don't have to worry.
461
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,244
You're right.
I obviously don't.
462
00:20:45,382 --> 00:20:46,314
Thank you.
463
00:20:46,452 --> 00:20:48,454
Listen, go out,
have a good time.
464
00:20:48,592 --> 00:20:50,973
I will. I think
I'm finally ready now.
Good.
465
00:20:51,111 --> 00:20:52,492
I'm sorry about all of this.
466
00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:54,011
Don't worry about it.
467
00:20:54,149 --> 00:20:55,392
See you when I see you.
468
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,434
Oh.
Graci,Dominic.
469
00:21:04,711 --> 00:21:06,057
Mmm.
470
00:21:10,027 --> 00:21:11,235
Should we check on the baby?
471
00:21:11,684 --> 00:21:12,892
Yeah.
472
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:15,688
How is she?
473
00:21:29,460 --> 00:21:32,014
[CHUCKLES] Hey, sweetie.
474
00:21:32,152 --> 00:21:34,396
Hey, come on,
you're gonna miss
the end of the movie.
475
00:21:36,260 --> 00:21:37,641
[CHUCKLES]
476
00:21:39,712 --> 00:21:41,541
Sweetie, boy,
the first date.
477
00:21:43,957 --> 00:21:45,234
Hey.
478
00:21:53,657 --> 00:21:55,417
Stewie.
33871
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