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And some scenes which some
viewers may find upsetting.
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00:00:06,738 --> 00:00:09,088
WOMAN ON RADIO: The sound
of Northamptonshire is...
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00:00:09,088 --> 00:00:12,008
MAN ON RADIO:
BBC Radio Northampton!
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00:00:12,008 --> 00:00:14,528
MUSIC JINGLE
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00:00:14,528 --> 00:00:17,218
PRESENTER: At seven o'clock
with the latest BBC News
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00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,499
for Northamptonshire,
I'm Phil Gabbitas.
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00:00:19,499 --> 00:00:22,818
Police are tonight searching
wasteland outside Kettering
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00:00:22,818 --> 00:00:26,708
following the discovery earlier
today of human remains.
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00:00:26,708 --> 00:00:28,868
The body has yet to be
formally identified,
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00:00:28,868 --> 00:00:30,738
but police have indicated
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00:00:30,738 --> 00:00:33,738
that the discovery is likely to be
connected to three other murders
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00:00:33,738 --> 00:00:36,228
in the county, thought to be
the work of the so-called
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00:00:36,228 --> 00:00:37,608
"Lonely Hearts Killer".
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A telephone number for anyone
calling with information
15
00:00:39,938 --> 00:00:41,938
about the case has been released.
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00:00:41,938 --> 00:00:46,138
It's 01632960011...
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00:00:46,138 --> 00:00:47,948
DOOR ENTRY UNLOCKS
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00:00:53,509 --> 00:00:55,538
SMOOCHY MUSIC
19
00:00:58,698 --> 00:00:59,738
COMPUTER CHIMES
20
00:00:59,738 --> 00:01:01,898
Oh, hello!
21
00:01:01,898 --> 00:01:03,688
Hi.
22
00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:05,379
Took me by surprise.
23
00:01:05,379 --> 00:01:07,608
I know, yeah. It's weird, isn't it?
24
00:01:07,608 --> 00:01:09,428
I... I, er...
25
00:01:09,428 --> 00:01:10,538
You go on.
26
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,108
I was going to say,
27
00:01:12,108 --> 00:01:14,528
I don't know if we're allowed
to say our names.
28
00:01:14,528 --> 00:01:17,138
Yeah, no, I'm not sure, erm,
29
00:01:17,138 --> 00:01:20,138
cos the email said we had
to keep things anonymous,
30
00:01:20,138 --> 00:01:22,018
what with everything in the news.
31
00:01:22,018 --> 00:01:24,698
Well, statistically,
you're more likely to be killed
32
00:01:24,698 --> 00:01:27,178
by someone you know than
a complete stranger,
33
00:01:27,178 --> 00:01:29,578
so let's live dangerously, shall we?
34
00:01:29,578 --> 00:01:30,858
I'm Edgar.
35
00:01:33,818 --> 00:01:36,369
You don't have to tell me
if you're not comfortable.
36
00:01:36,369 --> 00:01:38,328
Erm, Vicky.
37
00:01:38,328 --> 00:01:41,058
Hi, Vicky. Nice to e-meet you.
38
00:01:41,058 --> 00:01:43,698
Nice... Nice to meet you, too.
39
00:01:43,698 --> 00:01:46,379
Erm, so have you done
one of these before?
40
00:01:46,379 --> 00:01:49,098
I've done one in real life
where you go along a line...
41
00:01:49,098 --> 00:01:50,878
IRL. Sorry?
42
00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:53,538
Sorry, that's...
erm, "in real life" is IRL.
43
00:01:53,538 --> 00:01:56,048
Yeah, where you jump along
one every five minutes.
44
00:01:56,048 --> 00:01:58,499
It's like musical chairs. Exactly.
45
00:01:58,499 --> 00:02:01,308
Though mine was more like
"pin the tail on the donkey".
46
00:02:01,308 --> 00:02:03,428
Anyway, nothing really came of it,
47
00:02:03,428 --> 00:02:04,688
so I thought I'd try this.
48
00:02:04,688 --> 00:02:07,048
Well. I-1'm glad you did.
49
00:02:07,048 --> 00:02:08,778
So am I.
50
00:02:08,778 --> 00:02:10,048
So, what do you do, Edgar?
51
00:02:10,048 --> 00:02:11,898
I'm a landscape gardener.
52
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,818
I do designs and planting -
53
00:02:13,818 --> 00:02:17,048
basically, the kind of thing you
see on the Chelsea Flower Show.
54
00:02:17,048 --> 00:02:18,608
I love that.
55
00:02:18,608 --> 00:02:22,018
I've never been, but I...
I used to love watching it
56
00:02:22,018 --> 00:02:25,138
on the TV and...I've always
really loved gardening.
57
00:02:25,138 --> 00:02:28,138
Really? Yeah, I put it
as one of my passions.
58
00:02:28,138 --> 00:02:31,369
Well, that's a good start.
What else is on that list?
59
00:02:31,369 --> 00:02:33,778
Well, that...that would be
telling, wouldn't it?
60
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:36,698
I've got to keep some
of my feminine mystique!
61
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,228
Absolutely right.
62
00:02:38,228 --> 00:02:41,389
So, how big's your plot?
63
00:02:42,748 --> 00:02:44,228
Sorry?
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00:02:44,228 --> 00:02:45,698
Your garden.
65
00:02:45,698 --> 00:02:48,698
Do you want me to come round
and give you a quote?
66
00:02:48,698 --> 00:02:52,538
Oh, it's a...small patch.
67
00:02:52,538 --> 00:02:55,507
Well, it's a window box, actually.
68
00:02:55,507 --> 00:02:57,616
Sounds great. I love a window box.
69
00:02:58,686 --> 00:03:00,976
So, how about you, Vicky?
Do you work?
70
00:03:00,976 --> 00:03:03,046
Yeah, I'm a carer. I was...
71
00:03:03,046 --> 00:03:06,086
I was a carer, and now I just do
a little bit of volunteering
72
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:09,506
at the local charity shop,
so...that's me.
73
00:03:09,506 --> 00:03:11,976
And do you have a family?
What's your situation?
74
00:03:11,976 --> 00:03:15,586
Oh, I've got a brother who...
moved to Canada a while ago,
75
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:18,536
and he's got two little girls now,
so I'm an auntie.
76
00:03:18,536 --> 00:03:20,616
Cool. Whereabouts?
77
00:03:20,616 --> 00:03:23,566
Winnipeg. Yeah, I'm going to
go over there, definitely,
78
00:03:23,566 --> 00:03:26,146
once he gets settled.
How long's he been there?
79
00:03:26,146 --> 00:03:27,456
Six years.
80
00:03:30,896 --> 00:03:33,616
Anyway, tell me more about you,
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00:03:33,616 --> 00:03:34,976
cos I'm wittering on.
82
00:03:34,976 --> 00:03:37,257
Like I say, landscape gardener.
83
00:03:37,257 --> 00:03:38,976
I golf occasionally.
84
00:03:38,976 --> 00:03:41,776
Er, music-wise, Dire Straits,
Dylan, Simply Red...
85
00:03:41,776 --> 00:03:43,507
Oh, I love them.
86
00:03:43,507 --> 00:03:45,507
What's your favourite album?
87
00:03:45,507 --> 00:03:47,226
Greatest Hits, probably.
88
00:03:48,616 --> 00:03:50,896
Anyway, Vicky,
it's been lovely to meet you.
89
00:03:50,896 --> 00:03:52,966
Oh, no, we've still got a minute.
90
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,656
Well, 55 seconds.
91
00:03:54,656 --> 00:03:57,866
That's...that's half
a lifetime in speed dating.
92
00:03:57,866 --> 00:04:00,582
And you never know,
I might be the one.
93
00:04:00,582 --> 00:04:04,736
Of course, but, erm, if you
go shopping for a new sofa,
94
00:04:04,736 --> 00:04:08,736
for example, you don't just buy
the first one you see, do you?
95
00:04:08,736 --> 00:04:12,056
You sit on a few first
to get a feel for it.
96
00:04:12,056 --> 00:04:14,616
Some can be saggy...
97
00:04:14,616 --> 00:04:18,746
You know? And some can
be sleek and.. hard.
98
00:04:18,746 --> 00:04:23,176
And some can be fluffy
and comfortable
99
00:04:23,176 --> 00:04:25,306
and last you a lifetime.
100
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:26,616
True.
101
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,026
Anyway, good luck.
102
00:04:30,026 --> 00:04:32,016
I hope you make it
to Canada someday.
103
00:04:32,016 --> 00:04:33,766
I will. Thank...thanks, Edgar.
104
00:04:33,766 --> 00:04:35,976
It's been... It's been really
nice chatting to you.
105
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,466
You, too. I've really enjoyed it,
106
00:04:37,466 --> 00:04:39,976
and it's been good practice
for the next one.
107
00:04:39,976 --> 00:04:41,746
SMOOCHY MUSIC
108
00:04:44,056 --> 00:04:45,866
DOOR INTERCOM BUZZES
109
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:50,336
Hi.
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00:04:52,226 --> 00:04:53,576
DOORBELL CHIMES
111
00:04:55,866 --> 00:04:57,666
I'm really glad you came.
112
00:04:59,696 --> 00:05:01,186
SMOOCHY MUSIC
113
00:05:01,186 --> 00:05:02,257
COMPUTER CHIMES
114
00:05:02,257 --> 00:05:05,137
Right, victim number two!
Good evening.
115
00:05:05,137 --> 00:05:06,826
Hello there.
116
00:05:06,826 --> 00:05:08,586
This is weird, isn't it?
117
00:05:08,586 --> 00:05:10,466
Could you sit up for me, please?
118
00:05:10,466 --> 00:05:12,746
Sorry? Sit up a little, would you?
119
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,666
The lighting is very poor your end.
120
00:05:14,666 --> 00:05:17,226
Is that deliberate? No.
121
00:05:17,226 --> 00:05:20,976
Erm, maybe if I tilt...
the screen back?
122
00:05:20,976 --> 00:05:23,377
Is that better? Marginally.
123
00:05:23,377 --> 00:05:26,906
Now, I have a brief checklist,
if you don't mind my going first.
124
00:05:26,906 --> 00:05:29,776
Always best to have a plan,
I find. So, you are...?
125
00:05:29,776 --> 00:05:32,546
Well, I thought we were supposed
to keep things anon...
126
00:05:33,776 --> 00:05:35,946
Vicky.
LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
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00:05:35,946 --> 00:05:37,536
Victoria.
128
00:05:37,536 --> 00:05:39,886
Age? Well, is that...?
129
00:05:39,886 --> 00:05:41,586
A ballpark figure will do.
130
00:05:41,586 --> 00:05:44,397
I know you fillies like to shave off
half a decade if you can.
131
00:05:44,397 --> 00:05:46,106
No, I'd rather not say.
132
00:05:46,106 --> 00:05:48,856
Erm, I'm as old as my gums
133
00:05:48,856 --> 00:05:50,724
and a little bit older
than my teeth.
134
00:05:50,724 --> 00:05:51,754
LAUGHS
135
00:05:51,754 --> 00:05:53,676
I'll...put 58.
136
00:05:53,676 --> 00:05:55,626
And location?
137
00:05:55,626 --> 00:05:57,986
No, I'm not comfortable telling
you that at the moment...
138
00:05:57,986 --> 00:06:00,137
For goodness' sakes, do I
look like an axe murderer?
139
00:06:00,137 --> 00:06:03,306
I just need to know if you have
direct transport links to Kettering.
140
00:06:03,306 --> 00:06:04,496
Er, yes.
141
00:06:04,496 --> 00:06:05,896
Well, that's fine, then.
142
00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:07,896
Now, these you can answer
in the order you like,
143
00:06:07,896 --> 00:06:09,466
but I'd like to know the following.
144
00:06:09,466 --> 00:06:12,186
Occupation and salary,
pastimes and interests,
145
00:06:12,186 --> 00:06:14,496
family and domestic expectations.
146
00:06:14,496 --> 00:06:16,976
Oh, you're very prepared,
aren't you?
147
00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:18,546
I just...
148
00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:21,026
Anyway...I'm...a carer.
149
00:06:21,026 --> 00:06:22,466
Was a carer.
150
00:06:22,466 --> 00:06:25,776
And now I just work in
a charity shop locally.
151
00:06:25,776 --> 00:06:27,946
Is that a salaried position?
152
00:06:27,946 --> 00:06:31,137
No, but I do get first dibs on
every new bag that comes in.
153
00:06:31,137 --> 00:06:32,896
Sorry, what... What was your name?
154
00:06:32,896 --> 00:06:35,576
Norman Jenkins. Pastimes?
155
00:06:35,576 --> 00:06:39,856
Er, I like to garden,
erm, walks, cooking...
156
00:06:39,856 --> 00:06:41,626
Standard stuff.
157
00:06:41,626 --> 00:06:44,496
Family-wise, I've got
a brother who lives in Canada
158
00:06:44,496 --> 00:06:46,086
but, apart from that,
159
00:06:46,086 --> 00:06:48,247
I'm footloose and fancy-free, so...
160
00:06:48,247 --> 00:06:50,336
Yeah. Hang on, hang on.
161
00:06:50,336 --> 00:06:51,397
"Loose..."
162
00:06:53,397 --> 00:06:54,826
...and "free".
163
00:06:54,826 --> 00:06:56,257
Sorry...
164
00:06:56,257 --> 00:06:59,435
...Norman, what did you mean
by "domestic expectations"?
165
00:07:00,908 --> 00:07:03,308
I've recently been cut open
from here to here.
166
00:07:03,308 --> 00:07:04,798
I'm sorry to hear that.
167
00:07:04,798 --> 00:07:06,998
No, don't be sorry.
It saved my life.
168
00:07:06,998 --> 00:07:10,278
I'm fitted with a pacemaker
which regulates my heartbeat
169
00:07:10,278 --> 00:07:12,438
between 60 and 80bpm.
170
00:07:12,438 --> 00:07:17,308
However, my surgeon has warned me
about energetic activities,
171
00:07:17,308 --> 00:07:19,638
including housework and...
172
00:07:19,638 --> 00:07:23,359
...bedroom antics, so my enquiry
about domestic expectations
173
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:26,438
has to do with that. Is that clear?
174
00:07:26,438 --> 00:07:28,998
But I think it's a bit soon
to be thinking about...
175
00:07:28,998 --> 00:07:31,508
Suffice to say,
I may not be able to...
176
00:07:31,508 --> 00:07:35,468
...deliver on certain aspects of
what you might be looking for.
177
00:07:35,468 --> 00:07:38,958
That's fine. Erm, thank you
for being so honest with me.
178
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,828
I appreciate it.
179
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,298
I... I've had some big,
life-changing stuff
180
00:07:43,298 --> 00:07:45,628
going on myself.
181
00:07:45,628 --> 00:07:47,728
It's nice to talk about it,
isn't it?
182
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:50,168
I'm not lonely,
if that's what you mean.
183
00:07:50,168 --> 00:07:52,938
Good. I'm pleased for you.
184
00:07:52,938 --> 00:07:54,528
I am, a bit.
185
00:07:55,868 --> 00:08:00,658
Can I turn the tables now
and interrogate you?
186
00:08:00,658 --> 00:08:03,008
If you wish, yes. It's only fair.
187
00:08:03,008 --> 00:08:06,018
So, Norman, if we were
going to go on a date,
188
00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:07,628
where would you take me?
189
00:08:07,628 --> 00:08:10,568
Oh. Good question. Erm...
190
00:08:10,568 --> 00:08:13,339
I suppose, off the top of my head,
191
00:08:13,339 --> 00:08:16,728
it would have to be, erm,
Kensington Palace Gardens,
192
00:08:16,728 --> 00:08:18,828
Peter Pan statue.
193
00:08:18,828 --> 00:08:21,868
Mother used to take me
there when I was a boy,
194
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,718
every Sunday, once a month,
195
00:08:23,718 --> 00:08:25,978
before I was returned
to boarding school.
196
00:08:25,978 --> 00:08:28,298
She'd buy me an ice cream
with strawberry sauce —
197
00:08:28,298 --> 00:08:30,339
"monkey blood" we used to call it —
198
00:08:30,339 --> 00:08:32,948
and then drop me off
at the station.
199
00:08:32,948 --> 00:08:35,958
And I'd sob my little heart out
all the way back to Surrey.
200
00:08:38,168 --> 00:08:40,298
That's so sad.
201
00:08:40,298 --> 00:08:41,728
Is your mother still with us?
202
00:08:41,728 --> 00:08:44,418
No, she died in 2014.
203
00:08:44,418 --> 00:08:46,138
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
204
00:08:47,598 --> 00:08:49,818
I lost my mother last year.
205
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,988
It...untethers you, doesn't it?
206
00:08:53,988 --> 00:08:55,818
You...
207
00:08:55,818 --> 00:08:57,258
...lose your bearings.
208
00:08:59,178 --> 00:09:01,798
Do you think that you'd
maybe like to...
209
00:09:01,798 --> 00:09:04,808
...meet for a coffee sometime
and talk about it?
210
00:09:04,808 --> 00:09:07,088
Certainly not.
You look nothing like her.
211
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:08,398
SMOOCHY MUSIC
212
00:09:11,078 --> 00:09:12,628
COMPUTER CHIMES
213
00:09:12,628 --> 00:09:15,239
Oh, hello! I'm Manny.
214
00:09:15,239 --> 00:09:16,989
Erm...Vicky.
215
00:09:16,989 --> 00:09:19,369
You look like you've lost
a shilling and found a penny!
216
00:09:19,369 --> 00:09:20,438
Am I that ugly?
217
00:09:20,438 --> 00:09:24,008
No, not at all!
Sorry, no, I've, erm...
218
00:09:24,008 --> 00:09:26,908
I've just had the rudest man.
219
00:09:26,908 --> 00:09:28,828
There's some nutters on here,
aren't there?
220
00:09:28,828 --> 00:09:30,718
Well, you've only got
to read the papers.
221
00:09:30,718 --> 00:09:32,678
Hey, my last one didn't
go to plan either.
222
00:09:32,678 --> 00:09:36,038
Really? Yeah. Screen comes up,
there's nobody there.
223
00:09:36,038 --> 00:09:39,078
I just hear this voice off.
"Sorry, I'm having a wee!”
224
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,598
I said, "It's all right, love.
225
00:09:40,598 --> 00:09:42,318
"When you gotta go, you gotta go.”
226
00:09:42,318 --> 00:09:44,028
Then she comes out of the toilet,
227
00:09:44,028 --> 00:09:45,628
starts unloading the dishwasher!
228
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,468
No! I swear down!
229
00:09:47,468 --> 00:09:49,878
I said, "Are you not going to
have a quick look, just in case
230
00:09:49,878 --> 00:09:51,478
"you've got Cary Grant sat here?”
231
00:09:51,478 --> 00:09:53,618
So, she comes over,
puts her glasses on and goes,
232
00:09:53,618 --> 00:09:55,828
"Cary Grant?
More like Russell Grant!”
233
00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:57,158
Then she frigs off again!
234
00:09:57,158 --> 00:09:59,258
SHE LAUGHS
I-I like a cuddly man.
235
00:09:59,258 --> 00:10:02,758
Oh, well, you know, I go up
and down, but it's hard, isn't it?
236
00:10:02,758 --> 00:10:06,558
My last date was after a mother
rather than a partner.
237
00:10:06,558 --> 00:10:08,758
You never know who you're
going to get, do you?
238
00:10:08,758 --> 00:10:10,448
Mm, yeah, true.
239
00:10:11,918 --> 00:10:13,838
You've got lovely eyes.
240
00:10:15,768 --> 00:10:17,558
Thank you.
241
00:10:17,558 --> 00:10:19,408
SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
242
00:10:19,408 --> 00:10:21,129
So, do you work, Vicky?
243
00:10:21,129 --> 00:10:22,758
Yeah, I'm a landscape gardener.
244
00:10:22,758 --> 00:10:25,358
Really? Yeah, I do
designs and planting —
245
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,758
the sort of thing you see in
the Chelsea Flower Show.
246
00:10:27,758 --> 00:10:29,628
Wow!
HE CHUCKLES
247
00:10:29,628 --> 00:10:32,478
I was going to say something about
a neat bush but I stopped me self.
248
00:10:32,478 --> 00:10:34,958
VICKY STIFLES A LAUGH
"Don't blow it, Manny!”
249
00:10:34,958 --> 00:10:36,628
Oh, it's nice to laugh.
250
00:10:36,628 --> 00:10:37,989
I haven't laughed in ages.
251
00:10:37,989 --> 00:10:39,518
Oh, yeah. It's the best medicine.
252
00:10:39,518 --> 00:10:41,808
Even if nothing comes
of these things romantically,
253
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,728
I always try and have a bit
of fun, but that's just me.
254
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:47,048
You can't go wrong if you're
straight up with people,
255
00:10:47,048 --> 00:10:48,398
do you know what I mean?
256
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,358
Be honest. And if they like you,
they like you.
257
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,888
And if they don't, it's four
minutes out your life.
258
00:10:52,888 --> 00:10:55,038
Yeah.
259
00:10:55,038 --> 00:10:56,318
You're right.
260
00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,268
I'm not a landscape gardener.
261
00:10:59,268 --> 00:11:01,088
I just said it. I don't know why.
262
00:11:01,088 --> 00:11:03,508
I think it's a confidence thing.
263
00:11:03,508 --> 00:11:06,388
Oh, don't be daft,
I'll talk to anyone, me.
264
00:11:06,388 --> 00:11:08,198
Well, you're not
a traffic warden, are you?
265
00:11:08,198 --> 00:11:11,088
BOTH LAUGH
No. No, I'm...
266
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:12,808
I'm nothing.
267
00:11:12,808 --> 00:11:14,838
Anyway, what do you do?
268
00:11:14,838 --> 00:11:17,758
I, Vicky, run a premium
phone line for people trying
269
00:11:17,758 --> 00:11:19,518
to solve their Rubik's Cubes.
270
00:11:19,518 --> 00:11:21,068
Honestly? Swear down.
271
00:11:21,068 --> 00:11:23,318
People ring up.
They've got three sides done.
272
00:11:23,318 --> 00:11:24,908
They want to know how to progress.
273
00:11:24,908 --> 00:11:27,758
Occasionally, I get the speed
cubers phoning up with a DNF.
274
00:11:27,758 --> 00:11:29,918
What's that? "Did not finish".
275
00:11:29,918 --> 00:11:32,888
But, mainly, it's just taking
Muggles through to self—completion
276
00:11:32,888 --> 00:11:34,328
using the Fridrich method —
277
00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:36,678
you know, starting
with your basic white cross,
278
00:11:36,678 --> 00:11:39,249
then inserting pairs of corners
using OLL — sorry,
279
00:11:39,249 --> 00:11:41,448
"orientation of last layer”.
HE CHUCKLES
280
00:11:41,448 --> 00:11:43,398
I do go a bit geeky
when I get on the subject.
281
00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:45,048
No, it sounds fascinating.
282
00:11:45,048 --> 00:11:46,838
And, erm, how long are you on for?
283
00:11:46,838 --> 00:11:49,119
Average call time is 17 minutes.
284
00:11:49,119 --> 00:11:51,348
£1 a minute. You do the maths.
285
00:11:51,348 --> 00:11:52,718
£17.
286
00:11:52,718 --> 00:11:55,119
Exactly. Then you throw in
your internationals —
287
00:11:55,119 --> 00:11:56,958
your Chineses, your Thais...
288
00:11:56,958 --> 00:11:59,528
I only need to do 3-4 calls a day
and I'm laughing.
289
00:11:59,528 --> 00:12:00,878
Sounds perfect.
290
00:12:00,878 --> 00:12:03,119
Well, it is. You see,
I want to franchise it,
291
00:12:03,119 --> 00:12:04,918
get it on Dragons' Den.
292
00:12:04,918 --> 00:12:07,428
To me, it could be the next
Trunki or Tangle Teezer,
293
00:12:07,428 --> 00:12:09,268
but I just don't think
they'd get it!
294
00:12:09,268 --> 00:12:12,168
Well, the new lad they've got on —
Steven — he might.
295
00:12:12,168 --> 00:12:14,388
You've got to get it
on social media.
296
00:12:14,388 --> 00:12:17,068
You can get everything on
social media nowadays, can't you?
297
00:12:17,068 --> 00:12:18,688
You can.
298
00:12:18,688 --> 00:12:20,838
Including someone
to have a bit of fun with.
299
00:12:24,278 --> 00:12:25,958
SHE CHUCKLES
300
00:12:25,958 --> 00:12:28,119
I wish I had a hobby
301
00:12:28,119 --> 00:12:29,528
that I could turn into a job.
302
00:12:29,528 --> 00:12:31,198
Oh, it's the best.
303
00:12:31,198 --> 00:12:33,358
But it does make it hard
to meet people, so...
304
00:12:33,358 --> 00:12:34,718
WOMAN: Manny!
305
00:12:34,718 --> 00:12:36,408
Have you seen the key to the shed?
306
00:12:36,408 --> 00:12:38,478
I want to get the kids' bikes
out for the morning.
307
00:12:38,478 --> 00:12:40,119
Yeah, I'll be down in a bit, love.
308
00:12:42,488 --> 00:12:44,278
Who's this? No-one.
309
00:12:44,278 --> 00:12:45,838
It's just one of me cubers.
310
00:12:47,038 --> 00:12:49,278
You fuckin' liar!
311
00:12:49,278 --> 00:12:50,758
You're doing it again, aren't you?
312
00:12:50,758 --> 00:12:52,478
No! Listen!
313
00:12:52,478 --> 00:12:54,148
He's married, you sad cow!
314
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,508
Sorry, I didn't know, I...
315
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,538
Keep your desperate,
clammy hands off.
316
00:12:57,538 --> 00:13:00,328
If 1 catch you sniffing round again,
I'll find out where you live
317
00:13:00,328 --> 00:13:02,178
and I'll break your ribs!
Do you hear me?
318
00:13:02,178 --> 00:13:04,219
I've done it before. She has.
319
00:13:04,219 --> 00:13:07,138
Piss off and get your own man,
bitch!
320
00:13:07,138 --> 00:13:08,858
SMOOCHY MUSIC
321
00:13:13,058 --> 00:13:16,078
Oh, I'm really glad you came.
Come in.
322
00:13:17,688 --> 00:13:20,478
Oh, you've opened it already.
323
00:13:20,478 --> 00:13:22,438
It's a...
324
00:13:22,438 --> 00:13:24,918
...bit of Dutch courage, I suppose.
325
00:13:24,918 --> 00:13:26,999
Er, come in, sit down.
I'll pour us a glass.
326
00:13:37,638 --> 00:13:39,408
WOMAN: Hello?
327
00:13:40,488 --> 00:13:41,888
Hello?
328
00:13:43,038 --> 00:13:45,718
Oh, hello! Who have we got here?
329
00:13:47,288 --> 00:13:49,178
Oh, hi. Erm...
330
00:13:49,178 --> 00:13:51,948
Oh, don't worry.
It's been happening all night.
331
00:13:51,948 --> 00:13:54,109
I think they've put me
on the wrong track
332
00:13:54,109 --> 00:13:56,158
because of my name — Lesley.
333
00:13:56,158 --> 00:13:59,528
It's one of those
bi...polar names, isn't it?
334
00:13:59,528 --> 00:14:02,718
Although it shouldn't be
a problem in this day and age,
335
00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:05,259
what with all the mixing
of the gender fluids.
336
00:14:05,259 --> 00:14:06,538
I suppose so, yeah.
337
00:14:06,538 --> 00:14:07,798
Anyway, I'm not a lesbian.
338
00:14:07,798 --> 00:14:10,178
I'm not even bi...curious.
339
00:14:10,178 --> 00:14:13,488
SHE LAUGHS
I can't imagine anything worse.
340
00:14:13,488 --> 00:14:15,608
What's your name, lovey?
341
00:14:15,608 --> 00:14:18,078
Vicky. Aw. Vicky.
342
00:14:18,078 --> 00:14:21,158
Is that with a C-K-I, or a K-K-I?
343
00:14:21,158 --> 00:14:22,608
V=1-C-K-Y.
344
00:14:22,608 --> 00:14:24,528
.C=K-Y.
345
00:14:24,528 --> 00:14:25,888
Lovely.
346
00:14:25,888 --> 00:14:28,068
And do you go by Vicky, or Victoria?
347
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:30,568
Er, Vicky, mainly.
Victoria's a bit...
348
00:14:30,568 --> 00:14:32,608
Old-fashioned, yes. I agree.
349
00:14:32,608 --> 00:14:36,638
Although I do have a friend
my age who's called Ivy,
350
00:14:36,638 --> 00:14:40,328
and she's got tattoos and
a labia ring, so go figure!
351
00:14:40,328 --> 00:14:43,999
SHE LAUGHS
So, now...tell me, Vic,
352
00:14:43,999 --> 00:14:48,528
have you seen anyone who's
Mr Right out there,
353
00:14:48,528 --> 00:14:50,158
or are they all a bit...?
354
00:14:50,158 --> 00:14:52,608
Mr Lefts, as my mother used to say.
355
00:14:52,608 --> 00:14:53,918
SHE LAUGHS
356
00:14:53,918 --> 00:14:56,078
"Mr Lefts”. I like that.
357
00:14:56,078 --> 00:14:57,558
No, erm...
358
00:14:57,558 --> 00:15:00,358
Yeah, I've found a couple
of potentials maybe,
359
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,558
but no—one's really
jumped out at me.
360
00:15:02,558 --> 00:15:03,999
Oh, well, I should hope not -
361
00:15:03,999 --> 00:15:06,758
I mean, that's the beauty
about being online.
362
00:15:06,758 --> 00:15:08,848
Safety first!
363
00:15:08,848 --> 00:15:11,808
Did you hear they found
another body this morning?
364
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,158
Ring finger chopped off.
365
00:15:15,158 --> 00:15:17,858
SHE GASPS
It's terrible.
366
00:15:17,858 --> 00:15:20,208
You could be talking
to the Lonely Hearts Killer.
367
00:15:20,208 --> 00:15:22,058
Oh, don't say that.
368
00:15:22,058 --> 00:15:24,408
Well, you can't trust
anyone these days.
369
00:15:24,408 --> 00:15:26,728
I must tell you, though, Vic,
370
00:15:26,728 --> 00:15:29,568
I've been laughing with
some of my other ladies
371
00:15:29,568 --> 00:15:32,618
about the descriptions
that the guys give themselves,
372
00:15:32,618 --> 00:15:34,408
compared to what they
really look like.
373
00:15:34,408 --> 00:15:35,718
Do you know what I mean?
374
00:15:35,718 --> 00:15:39,288
Yes! My last one described
himself as Cary Grant.
375
00:15:39,288 --> 00:15:41,249
I thought,
"More like Russell Grant."
376
00:15:41,249 --> 00:15:43,718
SHE LAUGHS
Priceless!
377
00:15:43,718 --> 00:15:45,968
Mind you, we're just as bad,
aren't we?
378
00:15:45,968 --> 00:15:50,758
I mean, you know, we say, er,
"bubbly" when we mean fat,
379
00:15:50,758 --> 00:15:53,638
or "homely" when we mean a frump.
380
00:15:53,638 --> 00:15:56,249
"Lives life to the full" -
ie, raging alcoholic.
381
00:15:56,249 --> 00:15:57,428
SHE LAUGHS
382
00:15:57,428 --> 00:15:59,238
Or my favourite...
383
00:15:59,238 --> 00:16:01,438
..."footloose and fancy—free" —
384
00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:04,328
meaning a totally empty existence.
385
00:16:04,328 --> 00:16:05,999
SHE LAUGHS
386
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:08,778
Now, what's your status
at the moment, Vic?
387
00:16:08,778 --> 00:16:10,488
Divorced, single,
388
00:16:10,488 --> 00:16:12,978
or are you married, looking for
a bit of fun on the side?
389
00:16:12,978 --> 00:16:15,578
No. Erm, I've just never
really found the time
390
00:16:15,578 --> 00:16:17,288
for a serious relationship.
391
00:16:17,288 --> 00:16:20,009
Ah, you're a career woman, like me.
392
00:16:20,009 --> 00:16:22,698
No, not really. I just, erm...
393
00:16:24,208 --> 00:16:26,768
I was worried that,
if I did find a man,
394
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:29,368
he'd have to share me with my mum.
395
00:16:29,368 --> 00:16:30,768
Sounds kinky.
396
00:16:30,768 --> 00:16:33,848
No, no, not like that.
It's just, up until recently,
397
00:16:33,848 --> 00:16:36,848
I've had to put her needs first.
398
00:16:36,848 --> 00:16:39,448
My dad walked out
when we were little,
399
00:16:39,448 --> 00:16:41,129
so it was down to me,
400
00:16:41,129 --> 00:16:43,648
and that was my life...
401
00:16:43,648 --> 00:16:46,129
...through my fingers
before I knew it.
402
00:16:46,129 --> 00:16:47,848
Aw...
403
00:16:49,078 --> 00:16:52,618
So, you found solace in food.
404
00:16:52,618 --> 00:16:54,438
No, not really.
405
00:16:54,438 --> 00:16:59,129
Oh, we're so hard on ourselves
sometimes, aren't we, Vic?
406
00:16:59,129 --> 00:17:02,798
I mean, how many items
of clothing have you got
407
00:17:02,798 --> 00:17:05,208
that you can no longer get into?
408
00:17:05,208 --> 00:17:07,328
SHE CHUCKLES Oh...
409
00:17:07,328 --> 00:17:09,718
One to five, five to ten,
or 11 and over?
410
00:17:10,879 --> 00:17:12,838
Five to ten probably, if I...
411
00:17:12,838 --> 00:17:16,758
Good. And, sometimes, Vic...
412
00:17:16,758 --> 00:17:19,508
...when I'm slipping into
the bath of an evening,
413
00:17:19,508 --> 00:17:22,568
I glance in the mirror
and I think to myself,
414
00:17:22,568 --> 00:17:26,558
"What three words would I use
to describe my body shape?”
415
00:17:26,558 --> 00:17:28,588
Do you ever think that?
416
00:17:28,588 --> 00:17:31,568
And if so, what would they be?
417
00:17:31,568 --> 00:17:34,328
So...what? The three words.
Take your time.
418
00:17:34,328 --> 00:17:35,798
We've still got a minute left.
419
00:17:35,798 --> 00:17:37,208
Sorry, what is this? What?
420
00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:39,438
Why are you writing everything down?
421
00:17:39,438 --> 00:17:43,438
Vicky, what if I were to tell you
422
00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:46,688
that there is a
brand-new miracle product
423
00:17:46,688 --> 00:17:49,129
that's just about to
launch in the UK?
424
00:17:49,129 --> 00:17:52,879
It's a supplement, it's not food
replacement, and I can...
425
00:17:52,879 --> 00:17:56,718
So, what, are you just trying
to sign me up for a diet plan?
426
00:17:56,718 --> 00:17:59,128
Oh, no, we don't call it a
diet plan. No, no, no, no.
427
00:17:59,128 --> 00:18:01,498
It's a gateway to a new you.
428
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:02,908
Have you got an email address?
429
00:18:02,908 --> 00:18:04,248
No!
430
00:18:04,248 --> 00:18:06,698
Yes. But I'm not going
to give it to you.
431
00:18:06,698 --> 00:18:09,268
Why not, lovey?
Because you've tricked me.
432
00:18:09,268 --> 00:18:12,138
I bet you deliberately put yourself
down as a man, didn't you?
433
00:18:12,138 --> 00:18:14,218
Well, it is fish in a barrel.
434
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:17,448
I mean, where else am I going
to find an endless supply
435
00:18:17,448 --> 00:18:18,958
of ladies like you?
436
00:18:18,958 --> 00:18:21,148
What do you mean, ladies like me?
437
00:18:21,148 --> 00:18:22,498
Bubbly.
438
00:18:23,788 --> 00:18:26,618
Now, I really do need your
email so that I can...
439
00:18:26,618 --> 00:18:28,428
Fuck off!
BEEP
440
00:18:33,408 --> 00:18:34,879
COMPUTER CHIMES
441
00:18:39,078 --> 00:18:40,408
Hiya.
442
00:18:41,518 --> 00:18:43,129
Is that supposed to be funny?
443
00:18:44,278 --> 00:18:46,808
No, I'm really sorry.
Erm, I've been trying to fix this
444
00:18:46,808 --> 00:18:48,528
for the past half an hour.
445
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:52,858
I, erm, let my kids use my phone
to watch LazyTown on CBeebies,
446
00:18:52,858 --> 00:18:55,208
and the next thing you know,
ha...
447
00:18:56,518 --> 00:18:58,058
At least I'm not a turd.
448
00:18:58,058 --> 00:18:59,218
Ha...
449
00:19:00,368 --> 00:19:02,698
There's one that's a turd.
450
00:19:02,698 --> 00:19:04,238
Sorry.
451
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:08,158
I can keep fidgeting with my phone
to try and turn this off,
452
00:19:08,158 --> 00:19:11,648
or I can focus
on talking to you properly?
453
00:19:11,648 --> 00:19:14,009
Er...or you can switch off now
454
00:19:14,009 --> 00:19:16,448
and save yourself four minutes.
I wouldn't blame you.
455
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:19,278
Do you know what? It's fine.
I'm not doing anything else.
456
00:19:20,778 --> 00:19:23,288
Can I ask your name?
I'd rather not say.
457
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:24,798
Yeah, OK, I'm sorry.
458
00:19:24,798 --> 00:19:26,798
D-Don't keep saying sorry,
459
00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:28,728
because you sound like me.
460
00:19:28,728 --> 00:19:30,438
What have you got to be sorry for?
461
00:19:30,438 --> 00:19:33,658
Oh. Daring to exist,
according to most people on here.
462
00:19:33,658 --> 00:19:35,889
Yeah. Not easy, is it?
463
00:19:35,889 --> 00:19:39,368
Being gazed at and picked over
by half a dozen strangers.
464
00:19:39,368 --> 00:19:43,498
I've never done this before,
and I don't think I'll bother again.
465
00:19:43,498 --> 00:19:46,728
Why not? It's just too painful.
466
00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:49,518
Confirms all the worst things
that I think about myself.
467
00:19:51,368 --> 00:19:53,009
Well, d—don't be like that.
468
00:19:53,009 --> 00:19:55,318
|—I'm sure there's somebody
out there for you.
469
00:19:56,418 --> 00:19:58,088
Are you a man or a mouse?
470
00:19:58,088 --> 00:19:59,688
Oh.
471
00:19:59,688 --> 00:20:02,238
THEY CHUCKLE
Sorry.
472
00:20:02,238 --> 00:20:04,368
Fair enough.
BOTH LAUGH
473
00:20:05,718 --> 00:20:07,818
It's...
474
00:20:07,818 --> 00:20:09,328
Cheers to us, anyway.
475
00:20:09,328 --> 00:20:11,298
To us. Cheers.
476
00:20:17,788 --> 00:20:19,218
HE SIGHS DEEPLY
477
00:20:21,168 --> 00:20:24,088
My name's Vicky, by the way.
478
00:20:24,088 --> 00:20:25,608
Jai, by the way.
479
00:20:26,738 --> 00:20:28,658
How old are your kids, Jai?
480
00:20:28,658 --> 00:20:30,448
1 and 12.
481
00:20:30,448 --> 00:20:32,378
And they still watch CBeebies?
482
00:20:32,378 --> 00:20:34,088
Yeah.
483
00:20:34,088 --> 00:20:36,168
What are their names?
484
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:38,848
Er, Sally and Lindsay.
485
00:20:38,848 --> 00:20:41,009
Like the actress?
486
00:20:41,009 --> 00:20:42,468
I suppose, yeah.
487
00:20:43,908 --> 00:20:45,578
I---
488
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,109
...used to sit my mum in
front of CBeebies.
489
00:20:48,109 --> 00:20:50,958
She liked the colours. So...
490
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:54,968
...| know that LazyTown hasn't
been on for...ten years.
491
00:20:57,009 --> 00:20:59,488
You put that filter
on yourself, didn't you?
492
00:21:04,318 --> 00:21:05,858
I don't have kids.
493
00:21:05,858 --> 00:21:08,648
Erm...the thing is, Vicky,
I've...I've got this...
494
00:21:08,648 --> 00:21:09,678
I know.
495
00:21:09,678 --> 00:21:12,288
When you took a drink, I saw.
496
00:21:12,288 --> 00:21:15,408
Why don't you just turn it off,
and we can talk properly?
497
00:21:16,889 --> 00:21:18,578
Yeah? Mm.
498
00:21:24,808 --> 00:21:26,968
That's better.
499
00:21:26,968 --> 00:21:28,318
HE SIGHS
500
00:21:28,318 --> 00:21:30,928
So...tonight's been
a bit of a wash—out, has it?
501
00:21:30,928 --> 00:21:33,328
Yeah.
502
00:21:33,328 --> 00:21:35,139
Up till now, anyway.
503
00:21:37,968 --> 00:21:41,256
I don't get to meet many women IRL.
504
00:21:41,256 --> 00:21:44,242
It's quite hard to put up
with the stares and...
505
00:21:44,242 --> 00:21:47,442
Oh, tell me about it. I live on
the top floor with no lift.
506
00:21:47,442 --> 00:21:49,852
No, I mean, the...
No, I know what you meant.
507
00:21:49,852 --> 00:21:52,722
Oh... I was joking.
THEY CHUCKLE
508
00:21:52,722 --> 00:21:54,922
You've got bants, Vicky's got bants.
509
00:21:54,922 --> 00:21:56,802
SHE LAUGHS
510
00:21:58,392 --> 00:22:01,592
No, people react
in different ways. Erm...
511
00:22:01,592 --> 00:22:04,242
...I'm either the Invisible Man,
or the Elephant Man.
512
00:22:05,952 --> 00:22:10,763
They either can't stop looking
or...they don't see me at all.
513
00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:12,932
Oh, that must be hard.
514
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:15,143
I get overlooked as well.
515
00:22:15,143 --> 00:22:16,972
No man, no job,
516
00:22:16,972 --> 00:22:19,763
unless you count being a carer,
which most people don't.
517
00:22:21,932 --> 00:22:26,013
So, this is me finally coming
out into the world, like, erm,
518
00:22:26,013 --> 00:22:28,082
a flower starting to bloom,
519
00:22:28,082 --> 00:22:30,862
except no-one wants to smell me.
SHE CHUCKLES
520
00:22:30,862 --> 00:22:32,282
I do.
521
00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:36,502
Sorry, I meant...
That sounded weird. I mean...
522
00:22:36,502 --> 00:22:38,532
Oh, we've got 20 seconds left.
523
00:22:38,532 --> 00:22:41,672
Wh-What can you say in 20 seconds?
Go! OK. Er...er...
524
00:22:41,672 --> 00:22:42,932
Hold on, wait.
525
00:22:42,932 --> 00:22:45,282
BOTH LAUGH
526
00:22:45,282 --> 00:22:47,122
Check this out!
527
00:22:47,122 --> 00:22:49,042
SHE LAUGHS
528
00:22:49,042 --> 00:22:51,292
Hope you've got a good memory,
Vicky!
529
00:22:51,292 --> 00:22:53,212
Wait.
PAPER RUSTLES
530
00:22:53,212 --> 00:22:55,212
SCRIBBLES
531
00:22:55,212 --> 00:22:58,003
SMOOCHY MUSIC
532
00:22:58,003 --> 00:22:59,372
SHE LAUGHS
533
00:23:06,242 --> 00:23:08,442
I made us a lasagne.
534
00:23:08,442 --> 00:23:10,442
I hope that's OK.
535
00:23:10,442 --> 00:23:13,802
Just with some salad
and a bit of garlic bread.
536
00:23:13,802 --> 00:23:16,682
It's been nice having someone
to cook for.
537
00:23:16,682 --> 00:23:18,962
Mum always wanted tinned stuff,
538
00:23:18,962 --> 00:23:21,763
and it became quite boring
after a while.
539
00:23:25,292 --> 00:23:27,212
Cheers.
540
00:23:27,212 --> 00:23:28,832
It's nice to see you in the flesh.
541
00:23:30,092 --> 00:23:31,753
Here's to no more masks.
542
00:23:31,753 --> 00:23:33,242
No more masks.
543
00:23:36,472 --> 00:23:40,112
So, erm, how's Sally and Lindsay?
544
00:23:40,112 --> 00:23:43,122
Oh, yeah, they're tucked up
in bed watching LazyTown.
545
00:23:43,122 --> 00:23:44,442
BOTH LAUGH
546
00:23:44,442 --> 00:23:46,292
I'm glad to hear it.
Do you want to sit down?
547
00:23:46,292 --> 00:23:47,522
Yes, please, thank you.
548
00:23:49,743 --> 00:23:52,873
So, er, have you been
working today?
549
00:23:52,873 --> 00:23:54,652
Cos I never asked you what you did.
550
00:23:54,652 --> 00:23:57,682
Yeah. So, er, I'm
in investments, so, er...
551
00:23:57,682 --> 00:23:59,442
...buying, trading, selling.
552
00:23:59,442 --> 00:24:01,362
I'm actually going to get
some Bitcoin soon,
553
00:24:01,362 --> 00:24:02,932
so I'm just running the numbers.
554
00:24:02,932 --> 00:24:05,682
That sounds exciting.
Yeah, it is really exciting.
555
00:24:05,682 --> 00:24:07,212
Yeah.
556
00:24:07,212 --> 00:24:09,412
That's an interesting dress
you're wearing.
557
00:24:09,412 --> 00:24:12,742
You're the third person
I've seen wearing it this week.
558
00:24:12,742 --> 00:24:14,962
Really?
559
00:24:14,962 --> 00:24:18,222
Must be on sale or, like, at one of
them charity shops, or something.
560
00:24:19,482 --> 00:24:21,972
No. It's...quite old.
561
00:24:23,132 --> 00:24:25,172
It used to be one of my mum's,
I think.
562
00:24:25,172 --> 00:24:26,572
What makes you say that?
563
00:24:27,812 --> 00:24:29,322
I've got you a present.
564
00:24:37,572 --> 00:24:39,842
It's a mouse.
565
00:24:39,842 --> 00:24:42,092
To remind you of when we first met.
566
00:24:42,092 --> 00:24:44,412
Oh, that... That's lovely.
567
00:24:44,412 --> 00:24:46,522
Can I put it on you?
568
00:24:46,522 --> 00:24:48,732
Er...yeah.
569
00:24:48,732 --> 00:24:50,162
OK. Yeah?
570
00:24:52,732 --> 00:24:54,842
Would you turn around?
571
00:24:54,842 --> 00:24:56,202
BOTH CHUCKLE QUIETLY
572
00:25:01,532 --> 00:25:04,013
HE SNIFFS
573
00:25:04,013 --> 00:25:06,252
I can smell you now.
574
00:25:06,252 --> 00:25:08,682
HE CHUCKLES
575
00:25:08,682 --> 00:25:09,932
That looks nice.
576
00:25:11,612 --> 00:25:13,932
QUIETLY: Yes...
Just going to get some crisps.
577
00:25:16,302 --> 00:25:18,412
You seem nervous, Vicky.
578
00:25:18,412 --> 00:25:20,462
Do I make you nervous? No.
579
00:25:21,742 --> 00:25:23,492
Erm...
580
00:25:23,492 --> 00:25:25,842
Well, as I said,
I've not been on many dates,
581
00:25:25,842 --> 00:25:28,482
because of my mother and
her condition.
582
00:25:28,482 --> 00:25:32,402
But...can't be going out for
a romantic meal for two.
583
00:25:32,402 --> 00:25:35,182
It's easy when your mum's bag needs
emptying every four hours.
584
00:25:35,182 --> 00:25:36,662
Sounds draining.
585
00:25:36,662 --> 00:25:39,532
It was, literally.
586
00:25:39,532 --> 00:25:42,052
But she's passed, and so now
587
00:25:42,052 --> 00:25:44,252
I'm free to start a new chapter,
588
00:25:44,252 --> 00:25:46,562
so...every cloud.
589
00:25:48,662 --> 00:25:50,202
Do you still have your mother?
590
00:25:50,202 --> 00:25:53,242
How do you mean?
Is she still alive?
591
00:25:53,242 --> 00:25:55,322
Yeah, I think so.
592
00:25:55,322 --> 00:25:58,202
I don't think we ever really get...
593
00:25:58,202 --> 00:25:59,842
What are you doing? Stop!
594
00:25:59,842 --> 00:26:02,562
Sorry. Sorry!
We haven't even had our food!
595
00:26:02,562 --> 00:26:04,482
Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.
596
00:26:04,482 --> 00:26:07,322
I thought I could skip a few steps,
and it would still be fine...
597
00:26:07,322 --> 00:26:08,962
What do you mean, steps?
HE SIGHS
598
00:26:08,962 --> 00:26:11,612
All right, Vicky, I'm going to
level with you, I've...
599
00:26:11,612 --> 00:26:14,382
I never quite knew how to get to
the next step with women,
600
00:26:14,382 --> 00:26:17,252
kind of, bedroom-wise, so...
601
00:26:17,252 --> 00:26:19,382
...| did a pick-up course.
Course?
602
00:26:19,382 --> 00:26:20,903
Yeah, it gives you structure,
603
00:26:20,903 --> 00:26:22,932
tells you to demonstrate
higher value -
604
00:26:22,932 --> 00:26:25,252
that's why I was, like,
talking about the Bitcoin stuff.
605
00:26:25,252 --> 00:26:27,172
And then, it tells you to
throw in the odd neg.
606
00:26:27,172 --> 00:26:28,662
Sor...what's a neg?
607
00:26:28,662 --> 00:26:30,692
You know, like when I said
your dress was shit.
608
00:26:30,692 --> 00:26:33,332
That was to make you, like,
like me more, or something.
609
00:26:33,332 --> 00:26:36,922
I don't know why. I went to
the toilet in that bit. I missed it.
610
00:26:36,922 --> 00:26:38,412
Oh.
611
00:26:39,742 --> 00:26:41,812
That's... That's very disappointing.
612
00:26:43,332 --> 00:26:45,763
I think you've
let yourself down, Jai.
613
00:26:45,763 --> 00:26:47,532
HE SIGHS
614
00:26:47,532 --> 00:26:49,482
So, I've wasted my money
on these, then?
615
00:26:50,532 --> 00:26:53,302
And the wine. Fuck's sake!
616
00:26:53,302 --> 00:26:56,282
OVEN TIMER BEEPS
617
00:26:56,282 --> 00:26:57,532
TIMER OFF
618
00:27:01,242 --> 00:27:03,112
I think I'm just going to, er...
619
00:27:04,562 --> 00:27:06,102
I'll set the table.
620
00:27:08,492 --> 00:27:10,773
HE SIGHS
I'm not being funny, Vicky,
621
00:27:10,773 --> 00:27:12,292
but I don't even want the lasagne.
622
00:27:12,292 --> 00:27:14,742
It's not what I came here for,
you know what I mean?
623
00:27:16,212 --> 00:27:20,382
I'm surprised that people are
even thinking of going on dates
624
00:27:20,382 --> 00:27:23,982
at the minute, what with all
this stuff in the news.
625
00:27:23,982 --> 00:27:28,132
They must be either very brave
or very stupid.
626
00:27:28,132 --> 00:27:29,532
Are you negging ME now?
627
00:27:29,532 --> 00:27:32,542
No, no, it's just, er,
an observation...
628
00:27:45,202 --> 00:27:47,202
Lonely Hearts Killer.
629
00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:50,653
I hate that name.
630
00:27:53,773 --> 00:27:55,982
Cos it makes me sound
like a victim.
631
00:27:57,332 --> 00:27:58,492
And that's not me.
632
00:28:00,412 --> 00:28:02,742
And I refuse to end up
like my mother.
633
00:28:02,742 --> 00:28:04,382
Oh, God...
634
00:28:04,382 --> 00:28:07,262
There's so many nasty men out there.
635
00:28:09,643 --> 00:28:12,643
But there's one good thing...
636
00:28:12,643 --> 00:28:16,132
...I've found about dating
sites like these.
637
00:28:16,132 --> 00:28:18,482
If a person's not good
enough for you...
638
00:28:24,492 --> 00:28:27,643
...just...swipe left.
639
00:28:27,643 --> 00:28:29,884
SMOOCHY MUSIC
640
00:28:29,884 --> 00:28:30,964
SHE SIGHS
46604
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