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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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♪ Upbeat theme playing ♪
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♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
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♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da ♪
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♪
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Hi.
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I'm Nick. I think I'm your dad.
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What? How did...
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I have a camera outside my shop.
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♪
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Greetings, sir.
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It's me, your long-lost daughter... Ah!
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What up, Nick?
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Who's my daddy? You're my daddy.
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A little bit about me. I...
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have a great life! Lot of good friends.
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We get drinks at this place called
Pemberton's, like, every night.
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But not, like, in a problematic way.
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So, how am I your dad exactly?
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[sighs] My mom is Lori Tompkins.
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You guys met at Lollapalooza '91
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and conceived me to Jane Says.
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No judgment.
I have sex to weird songs, too.
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- You're my dad. I don't have sex.
- VALENTINA: What?
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Wait. I'm 30. I do.
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Anyway, surprise!
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Wow.
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You're my daughter.
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With Lollapalooza Lori.
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[awkward laugh]
I'm sorry to spring this on you.
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Oh. No, don't be.
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I never had a daughter before.
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Or a son.
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I had a cat once. That's different.
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I think. Wouldn't really know.
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Um...
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Wanna get a drink or something?
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I'd love that.
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I'll get you a beer, Mr. Sophie.
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I have a better idea. Why don't I, uh,
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come to your shop tomorrow,
and we can have lunch?
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Great. Great.
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But, no family discount. You can
thank your step-grandma for that.
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I caught her reselling chili dogs
at her old age home, so.
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♪
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Hey, man.
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Hey...
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What's up?
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Not... much...
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SOPHIE'S SON: Why are they being weird?
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It's just Bro Speak. I'll translate.
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Whatcha got going on tonight?
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_
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Not much. Just... the usual.
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_
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I was gonna go check out that new bar on
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Mercer Street, if you wanna tag along.
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_
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_
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Sure.
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Hey, friends!
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Great news. [drumming]
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Swish is cheating on me!
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Uh, congrats?
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This is exactly what I was
hoping would happen!
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He'd lose interest, meet someone new,
and dump my ass.
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How do you know he's cheating on you?
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♪
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Um, hey, babe, I-I gotta get going. Um,
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my study group needs me for... finals.
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Your study group is named Ally?
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Um, yep! It stands for...
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Americans Learning Linguistics... Yummy?
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♪
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Well, I am gonna miss being blinded
by his grandmother's rock, though.
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Oh, I know just how we can celebrate
your engagement's imminent demise.
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A fancy open house!
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[Valentina gasps]
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- Oh, we have to go to this.
- Mm-hmm!
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Three floors. Walk-in wine fridge?!
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And a servant's quarters!
These people are so fancy,
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they don't even know
you can't say servant anymore.
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♪
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- [quiet bar chatter]
- What can I get you guys?
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Two gin martinis with a twist, please.
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Oh. And where are we from?
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- Well, London...
- Originally Cincinnati.
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- Did I hear you say you're from London?
- Uh, yes, I am.
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I'm Charlie. This is my friend Jesse.
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He is from Cincinnati. [women giggling]
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Which is the London of Ohio! [laughs]
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[giggles] Can you say Cincinnati again?
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It sounds so elegant when you say it.
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Cincinnati.
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[giggling]
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You know, I call soda "pop."
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If that does anything... for you.
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♪
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Hey. How'd it go with your dad?
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Mm...
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It started off kinda awkward.
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Okay. Favorite movie on three. One! Two!
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Christmas with the Kranks!
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[laughs]
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I'm sorry.
I-I don't really watch movies.
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Have you ever seen Jay Leno's Garage?
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♪
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- Hm?
- Oh.
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They say it's genetic!
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You try.
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[exhales]
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Nope. Can't do it.
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♪
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Sophie... [sighs]
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You can't expect to bond with your dad
after just one day.
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It took me, like, 30 years for
me and my dad to find our thing,
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which we did last May.
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We both hate wind chimes.
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You love wind chimes.
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Please don't tell my dad.
It's all we have.
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Actually, um,
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I did figure out one way for us to bond.
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That's delicious.
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How is this place not packed?
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Um, business has been a little slow
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since they closed the bar
across the street.
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We used to do huge numbers late nights.
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What can I say? Drunks love dogs.
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Okay.
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So, if the drunks
won't come to the dogs,
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then we need to bring
the dogs to the drunks.
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We're doing a pop-up here!
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Now, you say "yes." And I say, "yay!"
And then, we hug.
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You wanna just skip to the hug?
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♪
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There you are!
136
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Thanks for leaving me alone
with the giggle squad.
137
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They made me record a voice memo
as sexy Paddington bear.
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- What a dumb idea.
- Yeah, you're telling me.
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Paddington isn't sexy.
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I mean, he's snuggly and sensual,
maybe, but he...
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No! I mean me trying to meet women with
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you and your stupid charming accent.
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It's like I'm invisible.
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Trust me, Jesse, this accent is a curse.
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- Ugh.
- It's all people see.
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I'm just some British thing
for women to play with,
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like a-a statue of Big Ben
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or a tea towel
with Duchess Kate's face on it.
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What is a tea towel?
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I hate this country.
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Look, hey, here's a thought.
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How about I be British
and you be American. Okay?
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Women will all flock to me,
and you can be the guy
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pretending to do something on his phone.
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That's brilliant.
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[as Michael Caine]: I think you'll find
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that my accent's top-notch, old sport.
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Are you doing Michael Caine?
You're a young man, Jesse!
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[more realistic accent]:
Right you are, bruv. Fancy another gin?
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[American accent]: Not bad, my main man.
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Not bad yourself, mate.
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- Hi.
- Hello.
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I'm Angelina. This is my friend Julia.
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I love your accent. Where are you from?
[Jesse laughs]
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Who, me? Well, I-I'm...
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from...
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the town in Love, Actually.
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So, London?
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Oh, blimey! You've heard of it!
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[laughter]
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- So, what do you do?
- Uh...
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I am a bartender.
Yeah. Uh, an American bartender.
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♪
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Only 5,000 square feet?
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It's a bit tight, no?
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Oh, it is. At this size,
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I'd run the risk
of actually seeing my children.
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[haughty laughter]
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BOTH: Oh...
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[gasps]
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Oh, my God.
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[whispers]:
This is Missy Moritz's apartment!
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The legendary socialite
who's known for wearing amazing hats.
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She invented shapewear for dogs.
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She wrote that song Ass So Rich.
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Oh!
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♪ Whose ass so rich? ♪
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00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,185
♪ This ass so rich ♪
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God, I love that song.
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[laughs] You don't expect the bridge
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- to make you cry, but it does.
- I know.
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00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,275
Val, should we go try on her hats?
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00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,568
Or do you think our heads are too big?
194
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:08,488
- I brought Vaseline.
- [laughs] You always come prepared!
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BOTH: ♪ Whose ass so rich? ♪
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♪ This ass so rich, oh! ♪
197
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Wow.
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00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:16,371
This place is packed.
199
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,415
It's like Toad the Wet Sprocket
is playing or something.
200
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,626
I know! I went into Google Maps,
201
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:23,086
and I set us as an ATM location.
[Sid laughs]
202
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,422
Well, hot dog.
203
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:28,091
Oh. I think that was
your first dad joke.
204
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,885
More where that came from, kid.
205
00:08:29,885 --> 00:08:31,136
Oh.
206
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:33,972
He called me kid!
207
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:40,437
Put on some trousers and say,
"Thank you, Charlie."
208
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:43,607
Julia and Angelina are coming
over here for cocktails.
209
00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,234
Wait, really? Yes!
210
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:48,237
Oh, man. I'm really into Angie.
She's a teacher. I'm a teacher.
211
00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:49,996
We both turn our chairs around backwards
212
00:08:50,008 --> 00:08:51,823
when it's time to
get real with the kids.
213
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,408
Julie's fantastic.
214
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,952
I could really see myself dating her.
215
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:58,361
Same! But we're locked
into these stupid accents.
216
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,541
[with accent]:
It's a bit of a pickle, innit?
217
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:01,714
[with accent]: Right. We're gonna
218
00:09:01,726 --> 00:09:03,085
have to figure out how to switch back.
219
00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:05,087
I mean, I can't be
a Yankee Doodle forever.
220
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:06,964
[no accent]: Oh, my God.
221
00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:09,550
What if I have to choose between
my voice and my one true love?
222
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:10,926
Am I the Little Mermaid?
223
00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:12,845
♪
224
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:15,931
[gasps] This is the hat
Missy wore to meet
225
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:17,850
Bo Obama!
226
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,395
Excuse me!
227
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,146
This room is off-limits!
228
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,982
Which, coincidentally, is the name of
229
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,985
my new single featuring Tyga.
Tell your friends.
230
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,695
Oh, my God.
231
00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:31,738
Oh, my God, you are Missy Moritz!
232
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,907
Oh wow,
you're even more fabulous in real life.
233
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,617
Aw, I know.
234
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:36,994
It's actually a problem.
235
00:09:36,994 --> 00:09:40,581
It's so hard to translate this
through a camera.
236
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:43,250
Anyway, thanks. Kisses. Bye!
237
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,251
- We're such huge fans!
- Ah!
238
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,295
Both of you, get out! Okay?
239
00:09:46,295 --> 00:09:47,588
I will call security,
240
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:50,549
and they are not afraid to hit women
because they are women.
241
00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:52,843
- [gasps] Love it.
- Change starts from the top down.
242
00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:55,179
- Get out!
- ELLEN: Oh, she's yelling at us!
243
00:09:55,179 --> 00:09:57,181
♪
244
00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:58,807
♪ For goodness sake ♪
245
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:02,019
♪ Hippy Hippy Shake by Chan Romero ♪
246
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,645
- Two dogs!
- Oh yeah! Oh yeah!
247
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,022
♪ Woo! ♪
248
00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:06,398
- And here's some mustard!
- Oh!
249
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:09,610
- Boom! Boom! And boom!
- Yeah!
250
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,278
- This goes... Heyo!
- Ha!
251
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,863
Oh!
252
00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:14,615
- Brats.
- 'Kraut.
253
00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:17,784
- Woo! Yes! Ow!
- Boom!
254
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,328
SOPHIE'S SON:
This is making me want a hot dog.
255
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:21,330
It's making me want another.
256
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:29,296
- Tonight was so fun. [giggles]
- So fun.
257
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,798
I really relished doing this with you.
258
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,009
Oh. Are you my dad?
259
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:37,596
You know, this pop-up
doesn't have to be a one-off.
260
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:40,015
We could expand to other bars.
It could be our thing.
261
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,559
I mean, it's a family business, right?
262
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,895
Right. Except for your step-grandma.
263
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:46,897
She opened a Wienerschnitzel
franchise down the street,
264
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,315
and now, she's dead to me.
265
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,693
Wow. She sounds like a real pistol.
266
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,695
No, she carries a real pistol.
267
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:56,698
God.
268
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:59,076
We look good in other people's clothes.
269
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,577
I know. Mm!
270
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:03,789
I can still feel Missy's
baby snake leather gloves on my...
271
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,583
Oh, no.
272
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,961
Swish's grandma's ring. It's gone!
273
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:14,049
Shit! I bet it fell off
when we were trying on Missy's stuff!
274
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:16,635
Okay, so you lost the ring.
We could get a fake!
275
00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:19,304
I know a gal. These earrings? Fake.
276
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,848
This ring? Fake.
277
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,933
This anklet? Nonexistent.
278
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:25,143
Because who the F would wear an anklet?
279
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,521
I can't give Swish back a fake ring!
280
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:29,022
Come on. We-We gotta go back to Missy's.
281
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,108
We can't go back! We were thrown out!
282
00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:34,152
Ellen, well-behaved women
rarely make history.
283
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:36,154
Ugh. You sound like Jesse.
284
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,700
I've always wanted to be
a part of a couple
285
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,619
known for their dinner parties
like Ina Garten and Jeff...
286
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:43,996
[with accent]: And Jeffrey!
[all agreeing]
287
00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:45,497
[with accent]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that bloke.
288
00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:47,833
[ringtone plays]
289
00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:48,876
'Scuse me, love.
290
00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:51,461
'Ello?
291
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,612
What?!
292
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,215
[no accent]:
Well, that is devastating news.
293
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,884
What happened to his voice?
294
00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:59,344
[sighs] Charlie, we can stop
practicing our accents.
295
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,762
They've canceled the play.
296
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:02,931
[no accent]:
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
297
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,600
Uh, w-what is happening?
298
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,810
So sorry we couldn't explain before,
299
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:09,229
but, uh, these are our true accents.
300
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,064
You see, we are actors.
301
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,775
Method actors. And we were
just using those other accents
302
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,444
to prepare for an upcoming play.
303
00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:17,988
But, uh, now the play's canceled,
so back to normal.
304
00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,615
- [Charlie and Jesse sigh]
- Oh.
305
00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:22,034
- Okay. Crazy.
- Totally.
306
00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:23,952
So, what was the play?
307
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,621
It was a...
308
00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:27,748
- A Tale of Two...
- Two Guys?
309
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,833
Yeah! Comedy, but dark.
310
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,835
Also, there are puppets. [laughs]
311
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,170
This sounds amazing. [gasps]
312
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,588
You guys have to do a scene for us.
313
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,548
- Oh, my God, yeah, we'd love to.
- But we can't!
314
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:40,010
- No, we can't...
- Because we need... the puppets.
315
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:42,971
They're just essential
to the inner lives...
316
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,223
- Would these work?
- Oh, my God.
317
00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:45,432
I use them with the kids at school.
318
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,935
Great. These are... industry standard.
319
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:49,019
♪
320
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:51,438
[gasps] We did it!
321
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,981
We sold out!
322
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:55,359
Having a business is so easy.
323
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:57,110
Sounds about white.
324
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,112
Uh, Sid, you just said white instead...
325
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:01,865
I get it.
326
00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:05,369
♪
327
00:13:05,369 --> 00:13:06,870
Hey!
328
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,956
You thought you could
move dogs on the west side
329
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:10,290
and I wouldn't find out about it?
330
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,418
Gio. I didn't know
this was your territory, I swear.
331
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,586
You didn't know?
332
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,547
[laughs] This guy!
333
00:13:16,547 --> 00:13:18,006
This guy didn't know!
334
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,466
Hey!
335
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:22,761
You can't just come in here and laugh
to no one about my dad.
336
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:25,055
Sophie, shh. Yes, he can.
337
00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:27,474
This is Gio Kawalski,
the Polish Hot Dog King.
338
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,851
We're on his turf.
339
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:31,311
Well, lucky for you,
I'm in a forgiving mood.
340
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,939
But forgiveness has a price.
341
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,692
Great. I do one nice thing for a friend,
342
00:13:36,692 --> 00:13:38,360
now I'm gonna get whacked.
343
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:39,695
♪
344
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,701
Okay, who is the Polish Hot Dog King,
345
00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:47,327
and why do we have to listen to him?
346
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,329
Wha... We're not even Polish!
347
00:13:50,706 --> 00:13:51,748
Are we?
348
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:53,709
Have a seat, kid.
349
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,378
Guess it's time
for a little history lesson.
350
00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:57,713
[Sophie scoffs] See,
351
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:01,550
back in the day,
slinging dogs was a messy business.
352
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:04,428
Every sausage maker in the city
was in the streets.
353
00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:05,846
It was open warfare.
354
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,806
Carts knocked over, buns torched,
355
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,266
ketchup in the gutters.
356
00:14:09,266 --> 00:14:11,101
Sounds...
357
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:14,271
- wasteful?
- Oh, it was. Dangerous, too.
358
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:16,273
They don't call it "street food"
for nothing.
359
00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:18,525
So the Five Hot Dog Families
had a sitdown.
360
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,611
They divided the city into territories.
361
00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:24,448
And we crossed into Gio's territory.
362
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:26,241
That's right. But don't worry.
363
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,577
I just have to give Gio
a taste of our action
364
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:30,454
to smooth things over. But,
365
00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:33,495
sadly, our pop-up days are done.
366
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,668
Oh, and yeah. We're half Polish.
367
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,714
Explains my love of pierogies.
368
00:14:42,341 --> 00:14:46,345
Okay! It's morning in New York City.
369
00:14:46,345 --> 00:14:47,930
The date?
370
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:50,307
September 11th, two thousand and...
371
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:53,477
- Why would you choose that date?
- Just 2000! Just 2000!
372
00:14:53,477 --> 00:14:55,229
Ha, ha! All is well!
373
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:57,940
Two... businessmen...
374
00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,983
board a subway train.
375
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:02,277
[with accent]:
Crikey, I love riding the tube!
376
00:15:02,277 --> 00:15:04,863
[with accent]:
And I love taking the subway!
377
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,616
W-What are you doing
one year from today?
378
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,826
- [no accent]: What is wrong with you?
- [no accent]: I don't know!
379
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:10,994
Oh, my God, I can't do this!
380
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:13,956
Jesse and I swapped accents
last night to meet women.
381
00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:16,203
But we weren't expecting to meet
382
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,085
anyone that we liked as much as you two.
383
00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:20,921
Do you hate us?
384
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,091
No. Actually,
385
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,676
- it's kind of a funny story.
- Yeah.
386
00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:28,136
When we met, we were in
the middle of a scavenger hunt
387
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:30,138
for a bachelorette party.
388
00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:32,599
My bachelorette party.
389
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,351
What?! You're engaged?
390
00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:37,896
Number 17 on our list was
"pick up a British guy."
391
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:40,440
We didn't actually think
we'd ever see you guys again, but...
392
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,068
Well, then,
Julia really liked Charlie, so...
393
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:45,779
Do you... still like Charlie?
394
00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:47,823
I do.
395
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,158
[women laugh softly]
396
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:53,036
Julia, I think I was very clear
397
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:55,455
in my detailed bridesmaid's instructions
398
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,708
that no one was to say "I do"
399
00:15:57,708 --> 00:15:59,668
in the month leading up to my wedding!
400
00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:01,378
[weak laugh]
Well, Angelina, you know what?
401
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,088
I think this actually
worked out for the best.
402
00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:05,090
Congrats to you and the lucky fella.
403
00:16:09,831 --> 00:16:11,096
[sighs]
404
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:13,557
You're not my butternut squash ravioli.
405
00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:18,103
Hey, aren't you the two I found
rummaging in my closet earlier?
406
00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:20,189
She remembers. [both squeal]
407
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:24,359
Yes! Your closet is a dream, by the way.
408
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:28,113
I know. It was actually designed
from a dream I had about a closet.
409
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:29,907
Oh.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
410
00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:32,242
I-I left something behind. A ring.
411
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:35,621
Uh... No, I haven't seen it.
412
00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:36,872
Thanks. Kisses. Bye.
413
00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:39,708
Wait, wait, wait! On your...
On your finger. Th-That's my ring.
414
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:42,878
Uh, no, honey. This is my ring.
415
00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:46,423
And like I said, thanks. Kisses. Bye.
416
00:16:50,469 --> 00:16:52,429
Missy Moritz stole your ring!
417
00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:55,140
- [both squeal]
- Wait, no, this is bad.
418
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:57,017
- Exciting, but bad!
- Mm.
419
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,810
- What do we do?
- Uh...
420
00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:01,021
Maybe we can trade her something for it.
421
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:03,190
All my jewelry is fake, but...
422
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,400
this scrunchie once belonged
423
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,528
to Marcia Gay Harden.
424
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:09,863
We go to the same gym.
425
00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:13,492
♪
426
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:17,538
Playtime is over.
There's something I got to do.
427
00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:20,916
Sophie, you know I hate
when you talk like Liam Neeson.
428
00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:24,461
I am going to confront
the Polish Hot Dog King
429
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:26,605
and tell him to lay off of my dad.
430
00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:28,173
That sounds really dangerous.
431
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,968
Luckily,
432
00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,761
I've got a unique set of skills.
433
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:33,929
No, you don't!
434
00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:36,139
You have a less-than-regular
amount of skill! Soph.
435
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:38,600
Hey! I'm coming with you!
436
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,143
It's like you're trying
to get me murdered!
437
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:43,146
♪
438
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:46,650
There. Eating halal on a stick.
439
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:47,658
Ha!
440
00:17:47,683 --> 00:17:49,987
And he calls himself the Hot Dog King?
441
00:17:49,987 --> 00:17:53,031
Well, wait till he gets
a taste of Sophie.
442
00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:55,367
Hey! Gio!
443
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,498
Please don't take down my daddy.
444
00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:05,627
I'm sorry. [crying]
445
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:08,130
I don't know where this is coming from!
446
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,632
It's coming from your face.
Get it together.
447
00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,259
[crying] GIO: Lady. Lady.
448
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,594
You gotta stop crying.
449
00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:16,013
Lady, stop crying. I'm not Gio Kawalski.
450
00:18:16,013 --> 00:18:17,014
What?
451
00:18:17,014 --> 00:18:21,203
I was pretending to be the Kawalski guy
for my Uncle Nick as a favor.
452
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,562
My name's Jake.
453
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:27,524
[laughs] I'm your cousin. So...
454
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:31,111
I have a cousin...
455
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:34,072
[laughs]
456
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:36,116
♪
457
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:40,871
♪
458
00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:45,959
[sighs] You're not my replacement
butternut squash ravioli.
459
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,795
Nope. I just wanted to show you this.
460
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:53,217
A picture of you in a terrific closet
with terrible posture?
461
00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:55,052
No. [sighs]
462
00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:58,055
This. A can of red paint.
463
00:18:58,055 --> 00:18:59,765
Louboutin red.
464
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,435
Now, why would someone
have that in their closet?
465
00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:05,771
I have no idea what you're getting at.
466
00:19:05,771 --> 00:19:09,733
To paint the bottoms
of her janky-ass heels, that's why.
467
00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:13,570
Why you're not buying red bottoms.
You're making red bottoms.
468
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,280
[scoffs, stammers]
469
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,991
I've never even seen paint before.
470
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,869
Ooh, the gossip sites
are gonna love this.
471
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:23,622
"Cheap Missy Moretz
makes her own knockoff Loubs!"
472
00:19:23,622 --> 00:19:25,666
No! It's not what you think, okay?
473
00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:28,252
I don't want to make fake Louboutins.
I have to.
474
00:19:28,252 --> 00:19:29,920
Because they don't make a size 13!
475
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,380
Oh! You're a size 13?!
476
00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:33,382
Shh! Yes! Okay?
477
00:19:33,382 --> 00:19:35,175
That's why I always wear
these amazing hats.
478
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,553
To draw the eye up!
479
00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:39,137
[sighs]
480
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,390
How about a trade?
481
00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:43,809
Our silence for my ring back.
482
00:19:45,394 --> 00:19:46,812
And you'll delete that photo?
483
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:50,065
Done.
484
00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:53,110
Pleasure doing business, Missy.
485
00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:55,070
[sighs] I agree.
486
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:56,504
You know, I haven't had this much fun
487
00:19:56,516 --> 00:19:58,780
since I got in a
fistfight with my nanny.
488
00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:02,119
Hey. I will give you guys each a hat
489
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,537
for a pint of your blood.
490
00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:07,207
No, no, it's not for anything weird.
Just, you know,
491
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,209
to keep myself looking young.
492
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:10,836
- Just a pint.
- Uh, Val?
493
00:20:10,836 --> 00:20:12,546
You gotta stop giving away your blood.
494
00:20:15,132 --> 00:20:16,800
There she is. Where you been?
495
00:20:17,509 --> 00:20:19,845
Uh, meeting my cousin.
496
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,890
Damn it, Jake. [scoffs]
497
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,766
I knew I should've gotten a real actor.
498
00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:27,227
Guy takes one improv class,
he thinks he's Brando.
499
00:20:28,103 --> 00:20:29,646
Okay, listen.
500
00:20:30,522 --> 00:20:33,317
I'm sorry.
I didn't know how to tell you that...
501
00:20:33,317 --> 00:20:35,986
this pop-up thing was really fun, but...
502
00:20:35,986 --> 00:20:38,488
I don't wanna shlep
into the city all the time.
503
00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:39,948
I'm happy with my shop.
504
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:43,285
Got it.
505
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:47,706
I guess I was just looking
for a reason for us to...
506
00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:51,502
keep getting to know each other
because we have nothing in common.
507
00:20:51,502 --> 00:20:54,755
And if we don't have a thing,
then maybe we're just going to
508
00:20:54,755 --> 00:20:56,298
drift out of each other's lives.
509
00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:57,799
Sophie.
510
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,637
We don't need a thing to be
in each other's lives.
511
00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:05,682
Listen. I got divorced young.
512
00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:08,310
I don't date much
'cause I'm always at the shop.
513
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:10,312
I was in a toxic on-and-off thing
514
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:13,457
with my sauerkraut supplier.
You know Sharon DiMarco?
515
00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:15,692
Why would you? She's just another lady.
516
00:21:16,235 --> 00:21:17,736
The point is...
517
00:21:18,362 --> 00:21:19,988
I kinda thought it was too late for me
518
00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:23,367
when it came to the whole
"having a family" thing. But...
519
00:21:24,368 --> 00:21:27,871
you're a real game-changer, kid.
Best kind.
520
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,668
Why wouldn't you just tell me that
521
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,547
you didn't want to do another pop-up?
522
00:21:36,547 --> 00:21:37,798
Oh.
523
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:39,842
I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
524
00:21:39,842 --> 00:21:41,343
[scoffs] What?
525
00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:45,389
What kind of a person
makes up such an elaborate lie
526
00:21:45,389 --> 00:21:47,891
just to avoid having
a tough conversation...
527
00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:52,604
Oh, my God.
528
00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:54,439
[scoffs]
529
00:21:54,898 --> 00:21:56,859
It's our first thing in common.
530
00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:06,118
♪
531
00:22:06,827 --> 00:22:09,162
[laughing] Last one of the night.
532
00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:10,664
I saved it for you.
533
00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:13,208
Thanks for letting me pop up.
534
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:15,127
Thanks for not getting me murdered.
535
00:22:15,878 --> 00:22:18,422
- Any time.
- Yeah, you, too.
536
00:22:19,882 --> 00:22:22,426
Hey, babe. Uh, can we talk for a second?
537
00:22:22,426 --> 00:22:23,468
Oh, yeah.
538
00:22:24,011 --> 00:22:27,347
[quietly]:
Here we go. Goodbye, gorgeous.
539
00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:31,768
Um, Val. Hey, look, I-I know I've been
acting really weird lately,
540
00:22:31,768 --> 00:22:34,062
- but there's a reason...
- I know.
541
00:22:34,062 --> 00:22:35,439
And it's okay.
542
00:22:35,439 --> 00:22:37,566
If you have feelings
for this Ally person...
543
00:22:38,025 --> 00:22:39,526
Ally? [laughs]
544
00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:42,446
I-I don't have feelings for Ally.
She's my party planner.
545
00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:46,366
For our engagement party
that's happening next week! Surprise!
546
00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:48,702
[laughing]
547
00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:50,287
Am I getting married?
548
00:22:50,287 --> 00:22:51,455
What?
549
00:22:51,455 --> 00:22:53,290
We're getting married...
550
00:22:53,290 --> 00:22:54,583
We're getting married!
551
00:22:54,583 --> 00:22:55,584
[nervous laugh]
552
00:22:55,584 --> 00:22:57,377
♪
553
00:22:57,491 --> 00:23:01,491
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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