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*Q I*
Season 20 Episode 07 IMDB
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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
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{\an8}Episode Title: "Toys Tinsel and Turkeys"
Aired on: December 19, 2022.
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Welcome to QI.
And Merry Christmas!
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And tonight, we've got toys, tinsel
and turkeys tucked under the tree
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for our QI Christmas Special,
and we're celebrating the presence
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of our lovely,
a shiny new Aisling Bea!
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CHEERING
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You really shouldn't have -
an antique Gyles Brandreth.
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CHEERING
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Just what I've always wanted -
a delicious Chris McCausland.
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CHEERING
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And - oh, how original -
another Alan Davies.
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CHEERING AND WHISTLING
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Right. Let's hear your glad tidings.
Aisling goes...
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CHORISTER: ♪ Silent night... ♪
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Gyles goes...
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♪ Away in a manger... ♪
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Chris goes...
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♪ Once in Royal David's city... ♪
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Alan goes...
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ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS:
♪ Frosty the snowman
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♪ Was a jolly happy soul
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♪ With a corncob pipe
and a button nose
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♪ And two eyes made out of coal. ♪
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OK. Christmas, you've all got
a present from me
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under your desks. Ooh! Oh, nice.
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Open them up.
Have a look, see what you got.
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A present from me.
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Chris, do you know what that is?
Um, give me a minute.
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LAUGHTER
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Don't go with what you first think,
Chris. Please, God.
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I think you could see how I was
holding that, couldn't you?
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It's a toy turkey. OK...
Just what you always wanted.
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Oh, it's a cooked turkey.
Yeah. It's a dead turkey.
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OK. Enjoy.
Never would have got that.
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I'd have been here till Easter.
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Gyles?
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This appears to be a teddy bear
after the thermonuclear war. Nice.
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It's had a skin complaint. Yeah.
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And what have you got, darling?
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Oh, well, I think it's either
an inappropriate nipple tassel
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or hopefully a spinning top.
Yes, it is a spinning top.
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I shouldn't have said
the first part.
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I think it would be
terribly disappointing
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to get ONE tassel for your nipples.
I know.
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Aisling can only spin...
STICK CLATTERS
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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
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How have you broken it so soon?!
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I don't know.
I don't know how I managed that.
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OK. So you have been given a twig.
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And here's the thing. According to
experts, it's the best toy there is.
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Oh!
The US National Toy Hall of Fame,
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it has all the greats. It's got
Play-Doh, Lego, Etch A Sketch,
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and so on. They inducted a stick
into their collection in 2008
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because it's one of the kids'
favourite things to play with.
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They've got cardboard boxes
in there, they've got sand.
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And apparently, sticks are not only
the oldest toys in the world,
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they're probably the best.
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Children find sticks
an endless source of fun.
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Well, it's true.
My kids love sticks.
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It's good, isn't it?
Our porch is full of sticks.
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Now, do you all like your
Christmas presents to be a surprise?
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Yes. OK. Why?
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Because I don't really
WANT anything.
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And at least it's something.
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That's the most depressing...
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Anybody else? Something good! Yeah.
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I want it to be a surprise
if I know what it is and I like it.
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If I don't know what it is,
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then I definitely don't want it
to be a surprise.
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So you haven't really understood
the definition of "surprise".
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I'm with Aisling, though.
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I kind of think that, like,
surprises is like phoning a takeaway
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and just going, "Send me something."
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You're never going to be happy
with what turns up are you?
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I don't know, though! I like to
go to a restaurant and say,
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"Can you just feed me?" Because I
can't be bothered to read the menu.
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I think that's a really fun thing.
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I mean, I've had a lot of...
Had a lot of beans on toast!
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Gyles, so you like surprises?
I'm not very good at surprises.
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Some years ago, I went to spend
Christmas with a sheikh,
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and I have to say,
I did like the white Rolls-Royce
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that was waiting when I got off
the aeroplane and he said,
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"I've got something for you
as a Christmas present."
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I thought maybe it'd be
the white Rolls-Royce.
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It wasn't. It was a little parcel
smaller than this.
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And he said,
"Your wife will love these".
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I thought, "Oh, pearls, diamonds!"
No.
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I got into the white Rolls-Royce
and opened the present,
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and inside the parcel
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was a book
of Sheikh Yamani's love poetry,
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translated into very poor English...
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LAUGHTER
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..by the head of his army.
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That's why you want,
a military man doing love poetry!
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There's quite a lot of research
into gift giving.
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The single biggest message is that
people don't want surprises. Yeah.
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Lots of studies say the most
successful gifts are the ones
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where you give the recipient
exactly what they asked for.
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But there are lots of things
that they've discovered.
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Only the gift giver
cares about the monetary value
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of the present. Ah!
The person who receives it doesn't.
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And another mistake we all make is
to focus on the moment of receiving.
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We think that's going to be
the most exciting thing,
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but actually it's on the long-term
pleasure that you get from a gift.
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And another common error
is obsessing over uniqueness.
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Giving something
that's just right for them alone.
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I have seven grandchildren.
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The problem is now solved -
sticks for each one of them! Yes!
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Eventually, they may grow
into boomerangs.
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In fact, I'll tell them they
ARE boomerangs
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and they'll learn
about failure early on.
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Right. Let's pop our presents away.
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There we go. Marvellous! Right.
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If you were one of
the three wise men
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and let's just say,
rather embarrassingly,
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Waitrose had run out of myrrh...
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Ohh! I know. Nightmare.
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..what would you give
the little baby Jesus instead?
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A stern talking-to, I think.
A stern talking-to?
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You'd go, "Just keep your head down.
You know, keep a low profile.
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"Don't be starting any movements.
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"If you find out you can do
magic later in life,
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"keep it to yourself.
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"You go to a party and they've only
got water, let them drink that.
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"Don't be doing no sermons
on no mounts!"
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AISLING: What is myrrh, actually?
It's a resin.
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It's a resin from a small,
thorny tree
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and it becomes a sort of waxy gum.
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So what are the three presents
that wise men supposedly bring?
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Gold. Frankincense.
Gold - my personal fave. Yeah.
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And myrrh.
And they're all symbolic presents.
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So gold represents
the symbol of kingship on Earth.
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Frankincense is an incense,
a symbol of deity.
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And myrrh was actually
for embalming.
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It was a symbol of death.
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Now, what you could give
from a supermarket of your choice
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is chervil.
So chervil is French parsley.
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You find it in bearnaise sauce,
things like that.
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And it's very similar to smell
and so on, to myrrh.
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But it's the complete opposite
symbolically because, actually,
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it means "leaves of joy"
and it represents new life.
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God, do you think
he wasn't a wise man?
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He was actually quite a stupid man,
and he brought him the wrong gift.
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"Ah, wooja-wooja-wooja-wooja!"
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"What have you bought?"
"Embalming fluid!"
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"What am I like?"
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"Only been born!"
"Embalming fluid!"
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A truly wise person...
Yes. ..would take Calpol.
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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
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Do you know...
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Probably!
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..when you have got frankincense,
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what is the vessel
in which you put the frankincense
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when you're doing that with it? What
is that called? I DON'T know that.
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What is it called? A thurible.
Oh, that's very good.
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And the person who does
that is called a thurifer.
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And the little boy
who walks along...
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AISLING: Or a girl,
thank you very much -
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one of the old altar girls here,
thank you very much.
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Always working
in a male-dominated environment,
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even since young age. Altar girl.
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LAUGHTER
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Yeah. Sorry. The thurible...?
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The thurible...
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That's it. Oh, fine. Sorry! OK!
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That's it.
The thurible is the instrument.
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The person is the thurifer. Yes.
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I've just never known you
be so concise, so I enjoyed it.
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But the thing of myrrh being
a symbol of death is ancient.
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It's a pagan thing
long before Christianity.
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So there is a marvellous thing
in the British Museum
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called the Franks Casket.
That's it there.
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And it has two stories on it.
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It has a sort of pagan story,
which is the one on the left.
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And then the one of the right
is the three wise men.
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And if you look at
the last wise men in the panel...
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He's got a duck! He's a duck!
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ALAN QUACKS
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It's a tale of two halves.
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You guys with the great facts.
And us going, "Look, it's a duck!"
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He's the one bringing myrrh
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and he's the one with
a Viking symbol of death over him.
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Have they ever had names?
AISLING: They did have names, yeah.
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Caspar. Caspar.
That's the interesting one,
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because he becomes the ghost,
you see, in later years.
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He's the one who brings the myrrh.
That's what I thought. Good.
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Any bonuses available yet?
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Er, well, I shall give you two.
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Thank you. That's OK.
It's my pleasure.
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Well, the interesting thing
about myrrh,
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and you're going
to appreciate this, Aisling,
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so myrrh does have significant
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painkilling and anti-inflammatory
properties.
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It can be used as
a natural toothpaste.
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It can be used as a gargle.
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And some women swear it's a
tremendous treatment for thrush.
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Oh, thank you, Sandi,
for publicly, on television,
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saying I might like this fact.
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00:10:20,799 --> 00:10:23,795
Note to self - do not have
what you think is a private chat
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00:10:23,879 --> 00:10:25,835
with Sandi before
coming on television...
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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
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I heard that so is sitting
on a frozen turkey!
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00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,035
But I quite like the idea
of somebody saying to Gaspar,
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"Have you brought that
as embalming fluid?"
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And he goes, "No, I just thought
he might get thrush sometimes."
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Perhaps, I don't know,
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you want to go even bigger
than thrush treatment
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with your Christmas presents.
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Syphilis? What do you...?
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What do you think was the biggest
Christmas present ever?
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00:11:00,119 --> 00:11:02,355
♪ Once in... ♪
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00:11:02,439 --> 00:11:04,799
Are you OK? Well, no...
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00:11:05,879 --> 00:11:07,635
I was thinking,
"I know the answer to this,"
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00:11:07,719 --> 00:11:09,075
but I'm not risking it. You are.
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00:11:09,159 --> 00:11:11,315
I'm just going to go for something
big that was a gift,
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00:11:11,399 --> 00:11:13,355
like the Statue of Liberty
or something.
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00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:16,395
I love that.
That would be tremendous huge gift.
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00:11:16,479 --> 00:11:19,075
The fact about the Statue of Liberty
is nobody wanted it.
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00:11:19,159 --> 00:11:21,755
Ohh! Literally, they couldn't
give it away when they first...
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00:11:21,839 --> 00:11:24,999
Could now, because of Freecycle.
Yeah.
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00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:29,995
It was meant to be a gift
from the people of France
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00:11:30,079 --> 00:11:32,035
to the United States,
but nobody wanted to pay
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00:11:32,119 --> 00:11:34,675
for the transport of it
across to the United States.
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00:11:34,759 --> 00:11:37,595
So the biggest Christmas present
possibly of all time,
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00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:39,555
25th of December 1868.
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00:11:39,639 --> 00:11:41,995
President of the United States
at the time?
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00:11:42,079 --> 00:11:44,995
I will give 20 points
if anybody knows who it is.
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00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,435
Lincoln. Just... So, you're close.
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00:11:47,519 --> 00:11:49,275
It's the successor to Lincoln.
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00:11:49,359 --> 00:11:52,115
President Andrew Johnson,
17th President of the United States.
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00:11:52,199 --> 00:11:54,795
He was one of the worst presidents
of all time,
235
00:11:54,879 --> 00:11:57,915
but he issued a general pardon
to every single person
236
00:11:57,999 --> 00:12:00,395
who had fought in the Confederacy.
So that's the South,
237
00:12:00,479 --> 00:12:02,475
in the American Civil War.
After Lincoln?
238
00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:03,795
So this is the man who took over.
239
00:12:03,879 --> 00:12:05,955
So what happened was Lincoln
was shot, if you remember,
240
00:12:06,039 --> 00:12:09,515
at the theatre. And... Haven't seen
the film yet. Oh, sorry. Spoiler.
241
00:12:09,599 --> 00:12:11,399
LAUGHTER
242
00:12:12,519 --> 00:12:14,475
Apologies, Chris. Spoiler alert.
243
00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,075
And Andrew Johnson
was his Vice President
244
00:12:17,159 --> 00:12:19,355
and he was supposed to be
assassinated that night, as well.
245
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:22,315
But his assassin got drunk instead.
So he went on to become...
246
00:12:22,399 --> 00:12:25,275
That's how it works.
This might interest you. Yes?
247
00:12:25,359 --> 00:12:28,315
As you know, Lincoln was
assassinated by an actor...
248
00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:31,355
Yes. ..called John Wilkes Booth,
famous for playing Romeo.
249
00:12:31,439 --> 00:12:34,115
He had a brother called Edwin Booth,
famous for playing Hamlet.
250
00:12:34,199 --> 00:12:35,675
Yes. A few years later...
251
00:12:35,759 --> 00:12:38,519
Are you going to tell us
you went on holiday with Lincoln?
252
00:12:41,999 --> 00:12:44,555
Gave you a book of poetry?
253
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,755
Are you serious?
Were they both actors?
254
00:12:46,839 --> 00:12:47,955
They were both actors.
255
00:12:48,039 --> 00:12:50,035
Edwin Booth was a famous actor
who played Hamlet.
256
00:12:50,119 --> 00:12:53,275
And a few years later,
Edwin Booth is on tour,
257
00:12:53,359 --> 00:12:56,355
leaving the railway station and the
train is moving out of the station,
258
00:12:56,439 --> 00:12:59,595
and somebody on the edge of
the platforms falls onto the line.
259
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,595
And Edwin Booth leans forward
and rescues this man,
260
00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:05,035
picks him up and saves his life.
261
00:13:05,119 --> 00:13:07,515
And it turns out
that the man whose life...
262
00:13:07,599 --> 00:13:10,915
Edwin Booth, the brother
of the man who assassinated Lincoln,
263
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,035
the life he has saved is the life
264
00:13:13,119 --> 00:13:16,235
of Robert Lincoln,
the only son of Abraham Lincoln.
265
00:13:16,319 --> 00:13:17,875
AISLING: No!
I love those stories.
266
00:13:17,959 --> 00:13:20,115
That's such a good moment.
Isn't that amazing?
267
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:21,915
I love that. It's great.
268
00:13:21,999 --> 00:13:24,555
He must have been like,
"You'll thank me now,
269
00:13:24,639 --> 00:13:27,239
"but once you find out who I am...
270
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:31,235
"..you're going to be
a little angry."
271
00:13:31,319 --> 00:13:33,315
Anyway, it was very controversial
that he did this.
272
00:13:33,399 --> 00:13:36,035
He pardoned every single person
who had been in the Confederacy.
273
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:39,755
Up until then, you had to apply
for an individual pardon
274
00:13:39,839 --> 00:13:43,715
and they had granted
13,500 individual pardons.
275
00:13:43,799 --> 00:13:46,035
And partly, they decided
to do this blanket thing
276
00:13:46,119 --> 00:13:48,435
because it was taking
such a huge amount of time.
277
00:13:48,519 --> 00:13:50,315
Other large scale presents,
I love these.
278
00:13:50,399 --> 00:13:52,395
So the legendary TV producer,
Aaron Spelling -
279
00:13:52,479 --> 00:13:54,875
Charlie's Angels, Dynasty,
and all those things -
280
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:59,155
he once got a truckload of snow
shipped to his garden overnight
281
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:02,835
so that his children could wake up
to a white Christmas in Los Angeles.
282
00:14:02,919 --> 00:14:03,995
Ohh!
283
00:14:04,079 --> 00:14:06,675
I mean, you can have too much money,
right? It IS possible.
284
00:14:06,759 --> 00:14:09,075
Christmas 2012, Angelina Jolie,
285
00:14:09,159 --> 00:14:11,475
she had previously described
her then-husband, Brad Pitt,
286
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:12,875
as impossible to shop for.
287
00:14:12,959 --> 00:14:16,555
She bought him
a $1.6 million waterfall.
288
00:14:16,639 --> 00:14:19,155
I mean, to be fair, it was a joint
Christmas and birthday present,
289
00:14:19,239 --> 00:14:21,795
but still...
LAUGHTER
290
00:14:21,879 --> 00:14:22,875
Still.
291
00:14:22,959 --> 00:14:25,715
My favourite of all, Harper Lee,
author of...
292
00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:27,955
ALL: To Kill A Mockingbird.
293
00:14:28,039 --> 00:14:31,795
..in 1956, she was working
as a BOAC ticket agent,
294
00:14:31,879 --> 00:14:34,479
so that's...
That man's stealing her necklace.
295
00:14:37,759 --> 00:14:40,115
That's her receiving
the Presidential Medal of Freedom
296
00:14:40,199 --> 00:14:42,355
in 2007. Harper Lee was working
as a ticket agent.
297
00:14:42,439 --> 00:14:44,795
She wanted to be a writer,
and two of her friends,
298
00:14:44,879 --> 00:14:47,435
Michael and Joy Brown,
gave her a year's salary
299
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:49,315
so she could take a year off.
ALL: Aww.
300
00:14:49,399 --> 00:14:51,635
And that is when she wrote
To Kill A Mockingbird.
301
00:14:51,719 --> 00:14:54,955
Isn't that wonderful? I have
a To Kill A Mockingbird confession.
302
00:14:55,039 --> 00:14:58,395
Oh? I did it for GCSE English Lit.
Right.
303
00:14:58,479 --> 00:15:01,435
And at the time, because my eyesight
was poor at the time,
304
00:15:01,519 --> 00:15:04,315
but I could still see stuff,
I was allowed to use a laptop
305
00:15:04,399 --> 00:15:07,995
and I never read the book
and I had it on the computer.
306
00:15:08,079 --> 00:15:10,195
And when the question
in the exam said,
307
00:15:10,279 --> 00:15:12,395
"What was the mood in the room
when Boo R...?"
308
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,119
I just searched for Boo Radley...
309
00:15:17,079 --> 00:15:19,835
..and read the bit
where he appears for the first time
310
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,435
and then just wrote that down.
311
00:15:22,519 --> 00:15:24,315
And I still only got a B!
312
00:15:24,399 --> 00:15:27,159
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
313
00:15:32,319 --> 00:15:35,755
Have you read it since?
No, I saw the film.
314
00:15:35,839 --> 00:15:37,479
OK. Fair enough.
315
00:15:38,719 --> 00:15:42,075
When you see the film of something
or when you read an audio book,
316
00:15:42,159 --> 00:15:44,315
do you count that as reading?
317
00:15:44,399 --> 00:15:45,795
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
318
00:15:45,879 --> 00:15:48,675
Let's take a vote. Who counts
listening to an audiobook
319
00:15:48,759 --> 00:15:51,035
as reading. Put your hands up
if you think it's reading?
320
00:15:51,119 --> 00:15:53,035
And put your hands up
if you think it's not?
321
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,635
AISLING: Oh, snobby...
322
00:15:54,719 --> 00:15:55,875
Oh!
323
00:15:55,959 --> 00:15:58,075
Do I get to find out?
324
00:15:58,159 --> 00:15:59,799
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
325
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,955
Arguably the biggest
Christmas present ever
326
00:16:06,039 --> 00:16:09,115
was when President Andrew Johnson
pardoned the South.
327
00:16:09,199 --> 00:16:13,755
Now, what is the name of
the toy bear depicted in the books
328
00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:17,555
Winnie-the-Pooh
and The House at Pooh Corner?
329
00:16:17,639 --> 00:16:19,995
♪ Once in... ♪
Yes, Chris?
330
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:21,319
Winnie-the-Shit.
331
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:26,155
Winnie-the-Shit
and The House On Shit Corner.
332
00:16:26,239 --> 00:16:29,195
But they toned it down
for the kiddies. OK.
333
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:32,875
Wait, now. We're actually
asking about THAT bear?
334
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:35,795
The name of the toy bear
that is depicted in the books.
335
00:16:35,879 --> 00:16:38,315
It's in the title.
It's Winnie-the-Pooh.
336
00:16:38,399 --> 00:16:39,635
He's a Pooh. Oh!
337
00:16:39,719 --> 00:16:41,035
KLAXON
338
00:16:41,119 --> 00:16:42,675
There you are.
339
00:16:42,759 --> 00:16:45,875
I was drawing you
in the wrong direction.
340
00:16:45,959 --> 00:16:49,715
The word "depicted"... Yes, thank
you. ..is the one that... Yes.
341
00:16:49,799 --> 00:16:51,955
Yeah. Interesting.
Why is that the one?
342
00:16:52,039 --> 00:16:57,195
Because the character depicted
there is drawn by EH Shepard,
343
00:16:57,279 --> 00:16:59,835
whereas the stories were written
by AA Milne.
344
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:02,315
So, AA Milne created the character,
345
00:17:02,399 --> 00:17:06,155
but the depiction is the bear
belonging to the artist
346
00:17:06,239 --> 00:17:09,395
Ernest Shepard, and his bear,
I think, was called Growler.
347
00:17:09,479 --> 00:17:11,555
It was indeed called Growler.
348
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,679
APPLAUSE
349
00:17:18,639 --> 00:17:21,355
What you've got behind you, Chris,
is a picture of a growler.
350
00:17:21,439 --> 00:17:22,679
LAUGHTER
351
00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:32,275
So AA Milne's son,
Christopher Robin, did have a bear,
352
00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:35,355
but he was called Edward Bear.
He renamed it for the stories
353
00:17:35,439 --> 00:17:37,835
Winnie-the-Pooh after
a very famous bear in London Zoo
354
00:17:37,919 --> 00:17:39,835
who was called Winnie,
short for Winnipeg.
355
00:17:39,919 --> 00:17:42,795
It was a Canadian black bear.
It's quite a nice story, actually.
356
00:17:42,879 --> 00:17:44,835
So there was a guy called
Harry Colebourn.
357
00:17:44,919 --> 00:17:46,995
He's pictured on the left
in military uniform,
358
00:17:47,079 --> 00:17:50,475
and he was on his way to Europe
to fight in the First World War
359
00:17:50,559 --> 00:17:53,115
when he came across a hunter
who had killed a mother bear
360
00:17:53,199 --> 00:17:57,355
and had the cub, and he bought the
cub for $20, and I don't know how,
361
00:17:57,439 --> 00:18:00,275
but managed to bring it on the boat
across the seas
362
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:03,275
and had it for a long time with him
while he served here in the UK,
363
00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:05,675
and eventually gave it...
Probably dressed it. Yeah.
364
00:18:05,759 --> 00:18:07,315
And it was a very...
365
00:18:07,399 --> 00:18:08,435
LAUGHTER
366
00:18:08,519 --> 00:18:09,795
ALAN GROWLS
367
00:18:09,879 --> 00:18:11,839
"Just stay still
and pretend you're my coat."
368
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:15,715
"Quite furry, your child."
369
00:18:15,799 --> 00:18:16,919
"How dare you!"
370
00:18:18,239 --> 00:18:20,475
It was one of the great exhibitions
at the London Zoo
371
00:18:20,559 --> 00:18:22,115
and Christopher Robin loved it.
372
00:18:22,199 --> 00:18:25,235
When you say Christopher Robin loved
it, you mean he was a real person?
373
00:18:25,319 --> 00:18:27,235
He was a real person.
He was a real person.
374
00:18:27,319 --> 00:18:29,275
He was the son of AA Milne,
the author.
375
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:32,315
Chris, this will excite you.
OK, I'm ready to be excited. Go.
376
00:18:32,399 --> 00:18:36,235
Because later, when we say
goodnight, we'll shake hands.
377
00:18:36,319 --> 00:18:39,155
And when you're shaking my hand,
you'll be shaking the hand
378
00:18:39,239 --> 00:18:41,915
that shook the hand that held
the paw of Winnie-the-Pooh.
379
00:18:41,999 --> 00:18:44,279
That's a tenuous connection there.
380
00:18:45,639 --> 00:18:48,199
We've all got
different nicknames for it.
381
00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:57,515
So you're going to...
Chris is going to shake the hand...
382
00:18:57,599 --> 00:19:01,355
Many years ago, I became a friend
of Christopher Robin Milne,
383
00:19:01,439 --> 00:19:04,875
born in 1920.
I knew him when he was in his 60s.
384
00:19:04,959 --> 00:19:07,035
He was a book-seller,
a delightful person.
385
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:08,755
He'd had a troubled childhood
386
00:19:08,839 --> 00:19:11,835
because he didn't like being the boy
in the stories.
387
00:19:11,919 --> 00:19:16,075
In fact, accused his father
of building his reputation
388
00:19:16,159 --> 00:19:18,635
by standing
on a small boy's shoulders.
389
00:19:18,719 --> 00:19:21,875
But I was a friend of his.
So later, when we shake hands,
390
00:19:21,959 --> 00:19:25,075
you will be shaking the hand
that shook the hand
391
00:19:25,159 --> 00:19:27,355
that held the paw
of Winnie-the-Pooh.
392
00:19:27,439 --> 00:19:30,439
Oh, I think that's lovely!
I love that.
393
00:19:32,919 --> 00:19:35,475
Now, this leads me on
to your connection to teddy bears,
394
00:19:35,559 --> 00:19:38,515
because you have
a teddy bear museum, is that right?
395
00:19:38,599 --> 00:19:42,515
I do. My wife and I founded
a teddy bear museum many years ago.
396
00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:45,235
And our bears, we now have
more than 1,000 of them.
397
00:19:45,319 --> 00:19:48,195
Oh, look! And they live
in this rather beautiful house
398
00:19:48,279 --> 00:19:50,675
called Newby Hall. Fozzie and...
399
00:19:50,759 --> 00:19:52,555
..is it Pudsey the bear?
400
00:19:52,639 --> 00:19:55,155
Yes, there's Pudsey Bear there.
Paddington. Paddington.
401
00:19:55,239 --> 00:19:58,675
That's the original Paddington
that appeared on television
402
00:19:58,759 --> 00:20:01,475
in the 1970s when Michael Hordern
did the voice.
403
00:20:01,559 --> 00:20:04,395
And that is the original
Fozzie Bear. I love...
404
00:20:04,479 --> 00:20:06,115
Oh, my God! ..Fozzie Bear.
405
00:20:06,199 --> 00:20:08,435
AS FOZZIE: "Arghhhh!"
406
00:20:08,519 --> 00:20:11,079
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
407
00:20:13,999 --> 00:20:16,315
AISLING: Oh, my gosh.
408
00:20:16,399 --> 00:20:21,195
That Fozzie Bear was given to me
personally by Jim Henson,
409
00:20:21,279 --> 00:20:23,795
the creator of The Muppets.
Oh, my God!
410
00:20:23,879 --> 00:20:28,675
And as a Christmas treat for all
of you, I have been to Newby Hall
411
00:20:28,759 --> 00:20:31,355
and I have brought the bear down
412
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:34,195
to introduce the original
Fozzie Bear to all of you.
413
00:20:34,279 --> 00:20:36,155
That is so exciting. Oh, look!
And he's here.
414
00:20:36,239 --> 00:20:37,795
Gyles! There he is.
Look, here he is.
415
00:20:37,879 --> 00:20:41,435
He's genuinely one of the reasons
I got into stand-up.
416
00:20:41,519 --> 00:20:44,315
He's my comedy hero as, like,
the best stand-up I know. Oh, wow.
417
00:20:44,399 --> 00:20:47,435
Essentially how it works is... Oh!
418
00:20:47,519 --> 00:20:50,035
..you put your hand
right up at the inside, you see,
419
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,835
and you are underneath it like this.
Yeah.
420
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:56,275
So, Frank Oz, who did the voice,
would be down here operating it
421
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:57,955
from down here. That's how it works.
422
00:20:58,039 --> 00:20:59,915
I visited the set
for The Muppets in LA
423
00:20:59,999 --> 00:21:02,875
and all of the professional
puppeteers are like bin men
424
00:21:02,959 --> 00:21:05,275
in that they all have one
really solid good arm
425
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,115
and one slightly weaker one
that they have hanging here.
426
00:21:08,199 --> 00:21:09,875
And I went into
Miss Piggy's dressing room
427
00:21:09,959 --> 00:21:11,995
and all of her stuff
is genuine Chanel.
428
00:21:12,079 --> 00:21:13,879
I got punched by Miss Piggy once.
What?!
429
00:21:15,719 --> 00:21:19,475
Celebrity dust-up story!
I was interviewing The Muppets.
430
00:21:19,559 --> 00:21:21,715
They'd just released
Treasure Island, the movie,
431
00:21:21,799 --> 00:21:22,955
and Frank Oz was there.
432
00:21:23,039 --> 00:21:24,955
Anyway, Miss Piggy found out
I was Danish,
433
00:21:25,039 --> 00:21:27,635
and she didn't like
what we did to bacon, so...
434
00:21:27,719 --> 00:21:29,879
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
435
00:21:32,879 --> 00:21:34,955
Frank Oz, I'm afraid,
does not like me
436
00:21:35,039 --> 00:21:38,195
because he can't believe
that Jim Henson would've given me
437
00:21:38,279 --> 00:21:40,875
the original. Oh, OK.
And he wants it back in America.
438
00:21:40,959 --> 00:21:42,235
Yeah. Does he?
439
00:21:42,319 --> 00:21:45,675
Anyway, the original Winnie-the-Pooh
belonging to Christopher Robin
440
00:21:45,759 --> 00:21:48,995
is now in New York,
because his American agent
441
00:21:49,079 --> 00:21:51,195
gave the bear to
the New York Public Library.
442
00:21:51,279 --> 00:21:53,395
So, if you want to see the original
Winnie-the-Pooh,
443
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,235
you have to go to the New York
Public Library.
444
00:21:55,319 --> 00:21:57,875
So, the most famous British bear
is in New York
445
00:21:57,959 --> 00:22:01,075
and the most famous American bear
is here in the UK.
446
00:22:01,159 --> 00:22:03,639
So would you swap? I am ready...
447
00:22:04,879 --> 00:22:08,435
I am ready to broker an exchange.
OK.
448
00:22:08,519 --> 00:22:12,275
Do you know what, Gyles? This is
a strong link of you negotiating
449
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,355
on behalf of Britain with America.
I think it is.
450
00:22:14,439 --> 00:22:16,475
I think it's a movie eventually,
don't you?
451
00:22:16,559 --> 00:22:18,795
Do you know what happened
to the bear called Growler,
452
00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:20,795
the one that was depicted
in the stories? No.
453
00:22:20,879 --> 00:22:23,635
Tell me what happened to Growler.
He eaten by the neighbour's dog.
454
00:22:23,719 --> 00:22:24,919
Right...
455
00:22:26,199 --> 00:22:27,995
Can you tell us about
some of the other bears
456
00:22:28,079 --> 00:22:30,355
that we've got in front of us?
I will just tell you quickly
457
00:22:30,439 --> 00:22:32,875
about some of these other bears
that come from the collection.
458
00:22:32,959 --> 00:22:34,835
So, down there, we have Nookie Bear.
459
00:22:34,919 --> 00:22:37,075
Oh. Oh! You remember Nookie?
460
00:22:37,159 --> 00:22:39,235
Yeah. He was a ventriloquist.
He was.
461
00:22:39,319 --> 00:22:41,795
Who was the guy that controlled...?
Roger De Courcey.
462
00:22:41,879 --> 00:22:45,595
OK, I remember that. Next to him
is Barbara Cartland's bear.
463
00:22:45,679 --> 00:22:47,635
She was a prolific novelist,
464
00:22:47,719 --> 00:22:51,315
the step grandmother
of Princess Diana.
465
00:22:51,399 --> 00:22:54,315
And she told me that this bear,
which she left me in her will,
466
00:22:54,399 --> 00:22:56,195
was a prince.
467
00:22:56,279 --> 00:22:58,635
He thinks he's an Indian prince,
the prince of love.
468
00:22:58,719 --> 00:23:00,835
Next to him is Paddington Bear.
469
00:23:00,919 --> 00:23:04,475
The original Paddington Bear
from the 1970s television series.
470
00:23:04,559 --> 00:23:08,555
On the end is Super Ted, and the
last one belongs to Dame Judi Dench.
471
00:23:08,639 --> 00:23:11,675
It was her childhood bear.
That's a bit magical, isn't it?
472
00:23:11,759 --> 00:23:13,955
Yes, that's the bear
that Judi Dench,
473
00:23:14,039 --> 00:23:17,115
when she was a little girl in the
1930s, used to go to bed with. Oh!
474
00:23:17,199 --> 00:23:19,635
Thank you to Gyles for all that!
Wonderful. Wow!
475
00:23:19,719 --> 00:23:22,199
APPLAUSE
476
00:23:24,879 --> 00:23:27,595
I love that! For me, the take home
message on this topic
477
00:23:27,679 --> 00:23:30,595
is that Christopher Robin's Pooh
bears very little resemblance
478
00:23:30,679 --> 00:23:33,399
to EH Shepard's Growler. Now...
479
00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:43,275
..which part would a turkey
take in a Nativity play?
480
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:45,115
Well, it wouldn't be Mary.
481
00:23:45,199 --> 00:23:47,555
In fact, you're exactly opposite,
Chris, of the truth,
482
00:23:47,639 --> 00:23:50,155
cos the part that the turkey
would be best suited for
483
00:23:50,239 --> 00:23:52,515
is the Virgin Mary,
484
00:23:52,599 --> 00:23:57,475
because female turkeys do not need
a male in order to reproduce.
485
00:23:57,559 --> 00:24:01,515
Oooh! What?! Like a worm?! They are
capable of parthenogenesis -
486
00:24:01,599 --> 00:24:04,395
so literally "virgin creation"
in Greek.
487
00:24:04,479 --> 00:24:07,875
So it's a form of... You mean
turkeys don't have to have dads?
488
00:24:07,959 --> 00:24:10,315
They don't have to.
I mean, in general, they do,
489
00:24:10,399 --> 00:24:12,955
but they are capable of
asexual reproduction.
490
00:24:13,039 --> 00:24:15,395
Does it happen a lot
or is it just sort of an anomaly?
491
00:24:15,479 --> 00:24:19,115
Up to half of unfertilised turkey
eggs will develop into live embryos.
492
00:24:19,199 --> 00:24:22,515
Now, the vast majority don't survive
long enough to carry on,
493
00:24:22,599 --> 00:24:25,755
and certainly hardly any of them
then have offspring of their own.
494
00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:28,275
But weirdly, or at least
it seemed weird to me,
495
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:31,715
in turkeys the resulting offspring
are all male.
496
00:24:31,799 --> 00:24:35,115
So, is that is that the opposite
to like...? Cos in humans,
497
00:24:35,199 --> 00:24:39,955
I thought we all started female
and half of us became male.
498
00:24:40,039 --> 00:24:43,875
It is true that we all start female
and then half make a mistake
499
00:24:43,959 --> 00:24:45,235
and take a wrong turn.
500
00:24:45,319 --> 00:24:48,799
LAUGHTER, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
501
00:24:53,719 --> 00:24:56,995
There's no mammal capable of
parthenogenesis, but there are...
502
00:24:57,079 --> 00:24:58,315
AISLING: Are birds mammals?
503
00:24:58,399 --> 00:25:00,555
A mammal has to have mammary glands,
Aisling.
504
00:25:00,639 --> 00:25:03,395
It has to have mammary glands. Well,
a turkey's got big old breasts.
505
00:25:03,479 --> 00:25:05,839
That's why we eat them
every Christmas.
506
00:25:07,319 --> 00:25:10,235
I wouldn't be able
to wish it on this one. No.
507
00:25:10,319 --> 00:25:12,875
80 kinds of fish and reptiles
and amphibians
508
00:25:12,959 --> 00:25:15,115
and so on are capable
of parthenogenesis.
509
00:25:15,199 --> 00:25:17,155
Do you know how the world
has changed, Sandi?
510
00:25:17,239 --> 00:25:19,315
What is that, my darling?
I'm realising now
511
00:25:19,399 --> 00:25:22,835
I was 16 before I heard the word
"breast" spoken at home.
512
00:25:22,919 --> 00:25:26,275
Really? My parents would always
refer to it as the "white meat".
513
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:30,155
And when I was 16, we had Christmas
dinner with some other people,
514
00:25:30,239 --> 00:25:31,795
and the word "breast" was used,
515
00:25:31,879 --> 00:25:34,995
and everybody had a pink face
for the rest of the meal. Really?!
516
00:25:35,079 --> 00:25:37,875
Well, now that you're talking of
pink faces, can you tell me,
517
00:25:37,959 --> 00:25:40,875
my darling, how you might know
if a male turkey
518
00:25:40,959 --> 00:25:42,475
is interested in you?
519
00:25:42,559 --> 00:25:44,399
ALAN: He'll slip you a note.
520
00:25:47,399 --> 00:25:50,475
Oh, is it something to do
with the gobbling and the...
521
00:25:50,559 --> 00:25:52,075
AISLING IMITATES
GOBBLING TURKEY
522
00:25:52,159 --> 00:25:54,675
..the throat and the... No,
it's the very thing you just said
523
00:25:54,759 --> 00:25:56,755
about going... The red, the red bit.
524
00:25:56,839 --> 00:25:59,675
They blush when they see
an attractive female.
525
00:25:59,759 --> 00:26:03,435
So the skin on the head and neck
can change colour from pale pink,
526
00:26:03,519 --> 00:26:07,315
or sometimes it's blue grey,
to bright red or bright white
527
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:10,155
or bright blue,
but a really bright colour.
528
00:26:10,239 --> 00:26:12,795
If I was God and I'd made
that turkey, I'd be like,
529
00:26:12,879 --> 00:26:15,119
"Oh, that's one
that I'll come back to later."
530
00:26:16,719 --> 00:26:18,675
That looks unfinished.
It's not attractive, is it?
531
00:26:18,759 --> 00:26:21,999
Yeah. That's turn it in at the end
of term because you're tired.
532
00:26:23,839 --> 00:26:26,955
OK, here is a top trick.
533
00:26:27,039 --> 00:26:28,635
Take a look at this.
534
00:26:28,719 --> 00:26:32,915
What we are looking at is, Chris,
is a spinning top that appears
535
00:26:32,999 --> 00:26:36,155
to be levitating. OK.
It must be the air underneath it.
536
00:26:36,239 --> 00:26:38,635
Well, tell me how it works. How do
you think it works? OK, good.
537
00:26:38,719 --> 00:26:41,275
I'm glad you asked me, Sandi. Yep.
538
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:45,675
Um, I'd say it's the same
basic principle
539
00:26:45,759 --> 00:26:47,875
that an aeroplane works off,
540
00:26:47,959 --> 00:26:51,155
where if you spin it
round and round enough...
541
00:26:51,239 --> 00:26:52,635
LAUGHTER
542
00:26:52,719 --> 00:26:54,635
..it levitates.
GYLES: Like a hovercraft.
543
00:26:54,719 --> 00:26:58,035
Yes. Yes, exactly. Finally,
someone's hearing what I'm...
544
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:00,035
I'm hearing what you're saying.
545
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:01,915
You said aeroplane,
you meant hovercraft.
546
00:27:01,999 --> 00:27:03,435
So you're saying air blowing?
547
00:27:03,519 --> 00:27:05,595
Air blowing in a rapid movement
548
00:27:05,679 --> 00:27:10,075
of an engine-like
rotator cuff at speed.
549
00:27:10,159 --> 00:27:15,355
No, it is a spin stabilised
permanent magnet levitating top.
550
00:27:15,439 --> 00:27:19,035
So you remember at school,
you might have a magnet.
551
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:23,075
So, you've got the positive side
and you've got the negative side.
552
00:27:23,159 --> 00:27:26,355
And in order for two magnets
to be attracted to each other,
553
00:27:26,439 --> 00:27:31,595
you need to have the positive
and the negative like that, right?
554
00:27:31,679 --> 00:27:35,275
So, if you put the positives
and the positives together,
555
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:37,715
they are repelled from each other.
556
00:27:37,799 --> 00:27:41,355
And you would think perhaps
that the one on the top
557
00:27:41,439 --> 00:27:43,115
could just float there.
558
00:27:43,199 --> 00:27:45,795
But actually, if I let it go...
CHRIS: Fly off.
559
00:27:45,879 --> 00:27:48,035
..it immediately wants to turn over.
560
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,915
So, in the 1970s, there was
an American inventor called
561
00:27:50,999 --> 00:27:55,955
Roy Harrigan, and he found a way
around this and turned the magnet
562
00:27:56,039 --> 00:27:59,875
like we can see in the video
there into a spinning top.
563
00:27:59,959 --> 00:28:02,315
Now, there's some
really complicated physics here,
564
00:28:02,399 --> 00:28:05,155
but it is because of something
called torque,
565
00:28:05,239 --> 00:28:07,515
which is a twisting force.
Torque?
566
00:28:07,599 --> 00:28:10,395
Torque, yeah. Never mind
if you don't understand the physics.
567
00:28:10,479 --> 00:28:12,835
Have a look at what it can do,
which is amazing.
568
00:28:12,919 --> 00:28:16,875
So there is a spinning top
for each of you under the table.
569
00:28:16,959 --> 00:28:18,555
We've attached a piece of string.
570
00:28:18,639 --> 00:28:21,995
If you hold it
just by the piece of string,
571
00:28:22,079 --> 00:28:24,795
your top will simply
dangle upside down.
572
00:28:24,879 --> 00:28:26,435
It won't go anywhere, OK?
573
00:28:26,519 --> 00:28:30,915
Now, look what happens
when we apply force.
574
00:28:30,999 --> 00:28:33,879
The spinning force to it, OK?
575
00:28:35,199 --> 00:28:36,595
This is torque.
576
00:28:36,679 --> 00:28:38,919
It's going to act against gravity.
577
00:28:40,199 --> 00:28:42,475
Whoa! And then...
578
00:28:42,559 --> 00:28:44,995
And then, Chris, you lift it up
by the string?
579
00:28:45,079 --> 00:28:47,795
This is where I lose some teeth.
Yeah.
580
00:28:47,879 --> 00:28:49,995
I'm going to go for it.
Go for it. Go for it.
581
00:28:50,079 --> 00:28:51,595
OK, ready? Go on, Chris.
582
00:28:51,679 --> 00:28:53,275
CHEERING
583
00:28:53,359 --> 00:28:55,315
SANDI LAUGHS
584
00:28:55,399 --> 00:28:58,115
Have you been injured in an accident
in the workplace
585
00:28:58,199 --> 00:28:59,835
by a spinning top?
586
00:28:59,919 --> 00:29:02,235
That's enough, enough, enough. Oh!
587
00:29:02,319 --> 00:29:04,879
It's like an airplane,
exactly how I said.
588
00:29:06,559 --> 00:29:10,515
So what happens is the torque, OK,
the spinning force,
589
00:29:10,599 --> 00:29:12,555
can do some truly strange things.
590
00:29:12,639 --> 00:29:15,635
Now, Aisling, I wonder if you can to
help us with this demonstration.
591
00:29:15,719 --> 00:29:18,075
Yes. OK, so there is a chair
just over here.
592
00:29:18,159 --> 00:29:21,715
It's a spinning chair.
We're going to ask you to sit in it.
593
00:29:21,799 --> 00:29:24,555
OK. You all right there?
Yes, right into the tree.
594
00:29:24,639 --> 00:29:26,955
Might wish you'd worn trousers.
Anyway... Ooh, yes!
595
00:29:27,039 --> 00:29:28,915
LAUGHTER
596
00:29:28,999 --> 00:29:33,275
What I'd like you to do is to hold
the wheel between both hands,
597
00:29:33,359 --> 00:29:35,675
like this. This feels like
a rude trick. First, spin it.
598
00:29:35,759 --> 00:29:38,155
OK. Just spin the wheel
as fast as you can.
599
00:29:38,239 --> 00:29:40,915
It feels like a cheap lottery.
That's it. Keep going.
600
00:29:40,999 --> 00:29:43,235
Fast as you can.
Who's going to win? OK.
601
00:29:43,319 --> 00:29:45,675
Now, hold it with both hands.
Bloody hell. Yeah.
602
00:29:45,759 --> 00:29:47,475
Turn it to the right. Turn it.
603
00:29:47,559 --> 00:29:49,755
Oh, my God. OK.
604
00:29:49,839 --> 00:29:52,439
Literally nothing's happening.
Er...
605
00:29:54,239 --> 00:29:55,795
Now turn it the other way.
606
00:29:55,879 --> 00:29:57,355
See if it'll turn.
607
00:29:57,439 --> 00:29:59,519
Literally nothing's happening.
Um...
608
00:30:01,519 --> 00:30:05,035
I'm guessing I'm getting the same
out of this as everyone else. Yes.
609
00:30:05,119 --> 00:30:06,879
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
610
00:30:08,919 --> 00:30:11,075
OK.
611
00:30:11,159 --> 00:30:12,475
Go on!
612
00:30:12,559 --> 00:30:14,235
The truth is,
it doesn't work at all,
613
00:30:14,319 --> 00:30:17,075
we just were taking the piss
out of Aisling. Are you serious?!
614
00:30:17,159 --> 00:30:18,439
Is that the truth?
615
00:30:19,519 --> 00:30:21,755
Is that the actual truth?! No.
616
00:30:21,839 --> 00:30:24,875
Here's a VT of how it should've
been done. Let's have a look.
617
00:30:24,959 --> 00:30:27,675
Let me just move this...
So there's a very serious man.
618
00:30:27,759 --> 00:30:30,155
Now watch what happens.
He's spinning...
619
00:30:30,239 --> 00:30:32,595
Oh, my God. He turns the wheel,
he spins in one direction
620
00:30:32,679 --> 00:30:36,035
and then he turns the wheel the
other way and it will turn you.
621
00:30:36,119 --> 00:30:38,675
To be fair, he looks like
he's just been doing this trick
622
00:30:38,759 --> 00:30:40,995
for all of his life.
That's all he does, yeah.
623
00:30:41,079 --> 00:30:43,279
I've worked hard on my personality!
624
00:30:45,839 --> 00:30:48,035
Yeah. I mean, in fairness,
you did go into this
625
00:30:48,119 --> 00:30:50,115
thinking that's how aeroplanes
worked, so... Yeah.
626
00:30:50,199 --> 00:30:52,555
I'm gonna fly!
627
00:30:52,639 --> 00:30:55,315
Basically, if you spin the wheel
in one direction,
628
00:30:55,399 --> 00:30:57,315
then the chair will compensate
629
00:30:57,399 --> 00:31:00,035
by applying an equal force
in the other direction
630
00:31:00,119 --> 00:31:03,119
and turn you around -
unless it's Aisling.
631
00:31:04,559 --> 00:31:06,799
But very well tried, Aisling Bea!
632
00:31:12,479 --> 00:31:14,635
GYLES: Sandi, can I put these away?
Because it's...
633
00:31:14,719 --> 00:31:16,475
What is that, darling? Your magnets?
634
00:31:16,559 --> 00:31:19,679
Yes, because they're playing
merry hell with my pacemaker. Oh!
635
00:31:23,679 --> 00:31:26,795
There's such a lot
I'm having to deal with. Aisling!
636
00:31:26,879 --> 00:31:29,119
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
637
00:31:33,479 --> 00:31:38,835
Right. We have got a present
for you. In 2021, the Magic Circle
638
00:31:38,919 --> 00:31:43,075
elected as its president somebody
who was the youngest person ever
639
00:31:43,159 --> 00:31:45,555
and the first woman ever
to hold that post.
640
00:31:45,639 --> 00:31:48,395
She's here tonight.
Lovely people, Megan Swann!
641
00:31:48,479 --> 00:31:50,759
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
642
00:31:54,919 --> 00:31:56,795
When did you start conjuring, Megan?
643
00:31:56,879 --> 00:31:59,235
I started at the age of five
with a children's magic set,
644
00:31:59,319 --> 00:32:00,915
and I've loved it ever since.
645
00:32:00,999 --> 00:32:02,995
How fantastic.
Now, women were not allowed
646
00:32:03,079 --> 00:32:05,235
to join the Magic Circle
for a very long time, were they?
647
00:32:05,319 --> 00:32:08,235
No, they only joined in 1991,
so fairly recent.
648
00:32:08,319 --> 00:32:10,915
Is it because they used to think
they were witches, was that it?
649
00:32:10,999 --> 00:32:13,155
They were like, "They're too
naturally good at magic."
650
00:32:13,239 --> 00:32:15,235
Some people still accuse us of that.
651
00:32:15,319 --> 00:32:17,115
Now, you're particularly interested
652
00:32:17,199 --> 00:32:18,995
in using magic to
make some statement
653
00:32:19,079 --> 00:32:20,915
about environmental issues,
aren't you? Yes.
654
00:32:20,999 --> 00:32:23,475
I love magic and I really care
about the environment.
655
00:32:23,559 --> 00:32:25,275
So it makes sense to combine the two
656
00:32:25,359 --> 00:32:28,195
to tell people what we should be
doing to help. OK. Off you go.
657
00:32:28,279 --> 00:32:30,075
So, I brought with me this die,
658
00:32:30,159 --> 00:32:33,275
and I thought I'd show you
something magical with it.
659
00:32:33,359 --> 00:32:36,315
When I was younger, no matter
what toy or gift I was given,
660
00:32:36,399 --> 00:32:39,715
I was usually more interested
in the box that it came in.
661
00:32:39,799 --> 00:32:42,355
And of course, most people
would keep the toy inside the box.
662
00:32:42,439 --> 00:32:45,079
But I keep the box inside the toy.
663
00:32:46,119 --> 00:32:48,715
It's the best way to keep it safe.
664
00:32:48,799 --> 00:32:51,555
This does, however, mean
that the toy that I have
665
00:32:51,639 --> 00:32:54,595
is actually bigger than the box
that it comes with.
666
00:32:54,679 --> 00:32:58,835
Now, packaging usually ends up as
waste, and in the UK we throw away
667
00:32:58,919 --> 00:33:02,435
5.9 million tonnes
of packaging every year.
668
00:33:02,519 --> 00:33:05,755
Wow. And every piece we throw away
adds to the problem.
669
00:33:05,839 --> 00:33:08,715
And just like our issue with waste,
whilst I've been talking,
670
00:33:08,799 --> 00:33:12,875
this box has been growing so much
that the toy it came from
671
00:33:12,959 --> 00:33:17,675
now fits inside the box. What?!
Oooh!
672
00:33:17,759 --> 00:33:19,839
APPLAUSE
673
00:33:26,559 --> 00:33:29,795
But waste doesn't need to be
such a big issue
674
00:33:29,879 --> 00:33:33,315
if we can all just remember those
three simple rules -
675
00:33:33,399 --> 00:33:37,155
and to always reduce,
re-use and recycle.
676
00:33:37,239 --> 00:33:40,759
No, but how...?! Ooh!
APPLAUSE
677
00:33:44,719 --> 00:33:47,955
Thank you so much. Round of applause
for the magical Megan!
678
00:33:48,039 --> 00:33:49,999
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
679
00:33:54,879 --> 00:33:56,955
Brilliant.
680
00:33:57,039 --> 00:34:02,155
You know, Sandi, I am a bit of
a environmental magician myself.
681
00:34:02,239 --> 00:34:06,395
Are you? Inspired by Megan,
can I show you my little trick?
682
00:34:06,479 --> 00:34:10,155
Yes, please. I've become a
vegetarian, but I used to like pork,
683
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,395
and I've found a way
of turning a banana into a pig.
684
00:34:13,479 --> 00:34:14,875
OK.
AISLING LAUGHS
685
00:34:14,959 --> 00:34:17,515
Here's the banana, and I'm taking
this little kitchen knife,
686
00:34:17,599 --> 00:34:20,235
and with just three little strokes,
I'm going to turn
687
00:34:20,319 --> 00:34:22,315
this banana into a pig.
688
00:34:22,399 --> 00:34:24,155
There you have your pig.
689
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,435
Oh, my God! I see it!
Oink, oink, oink!
690
00:34:27,519 --> 00:34:29,679
Looks like a pig, Chris.
Yeah. Yeah.
691
00:34:31,999 --> 00:34:36,075
If you can imagine a banana turned
into a pig, then that's exactly...
692
00:34:36,159 --> 00:34:37,755
LAUGHTER
693
00:34:37,839 --> 00:34:39,395
OK.
694
00:34:39,479 --> 00:34:41,999
Thanks for that. Um, now...
That's all right.
695
00:34:43,559 --> 00:34:47,395
Let's do a question
on transgressive toys, shall we?
696
00:34:47,479 --> 00:34:51,955
What's the most inappropriate
Christmas present you can think of?
697
00:34:52,039 --> 00:34:53,999
A bomb. Oh.
698
00:34:55,479 --> 00:34:59,755
Well, actually, you're not far off,
because every generation
699
00:34:59,839 --> 00:35:02,355
there have been gifts
that the next generation thought
700
00:35:02,439 --> 00:35:05,195
was inappropriate.
I am old enough... You must...
701
00:35:05,279 --> 00:35:08,235
Do you remember sets of smokers'
paraphernalia made out of chocolate?
702
00:35:08,319 --> 00:35:11,595
I loved it. Cigars... Yeah.
..pipes you could eat.
703
00:35:11,679 --> 00:35:13,555
A liquorice pipe, I had.
704
00:35:13,639 --> 00:35:15,999
I believe it was that pipe
that made me a lesbian.
705
00:35:18,479 --> 00:35:21,035
And cigarettes?
Cigarettes that were very sweet.
706
00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:23,635
White sugar, as it were,
with little red tips.
707
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:25,275
And you could... Oh, I loved those.
708
00:35:25,359 --> 00:35:27,395
Then there were kits
for collecting butterflies.
709
00:35:27,479 --> 00:35:29,755
You've got killing jars.
You put some poison in the jar
710
00:35:29,839 --> 00:35:31,955
and you'd put
the butterfly in it to preserve it.
711
00:35:32,039 --> 00:35:34,035
The most astonishing one -
712
00:35:34,119 --> 00:35:36,875
there was a board game
released in 1982
713
00:35:36,959 --> 00:35:39,515
called A War In The Falklands
Board Game.
714
00:35:39,599 --> 00:35:40,919
Oh, my God.
715
00:35:41,879 --> 00:35:44,315
But on the bomb thing, Alan,
716
00:35:44,399 --> 00:35:50,515
1950 - Atomic Energy Lab included
four samples of uranium ore,
717
00:35:50,599 --> 00:35:55,755
and you were invited to hide
a radioactive sample in your bedroom
718
00:35:55,839 --> 00:35:58,395
and challenge others in a game
of hide and seek
719
00:35:58,479 --> 00:36:01,195
using a Geiger counter.
720
00:36:01,279 --> 00:36:03,235
Oh, my God!
721
00:36:03,319 --> 00:36:05,075
Mm-hm. Wow. Yeah.
722
00:36:05,159 --> 00:36:09,355
And here's me still doing sex toys
in Secret Santa.
723
00:36:09,439 --> 00:36:11,915
But apparently they said,
playing with this kit,
724
00:36:11,999 --> 00:36:14,635
you got no more radiation
than a nice day out in the sun,
725
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:17,195
so it was absolutely fine. Wow.
726
00:36:17,279 --> 00:36:19,555
What's the worst present
anybody ever got as a child?
727
00:36:19,639 --> 00:36:23,435
As an adult, about 15 years ago,
I got an electric tin opener,
728
00:36:23,519 --> 00:36:26,995
and I was excited until I realised
that all the tins
729
00:36:27,079 --> 00:36:28,399
had them ring pulls on.
730
00:36:29,959 --> 00:36:32,599
And so to use it, I had to open
everything upside down.
731
00:36:35,559 --> 00:36:39,235
I remember as a child, I was not
interested in dolls at all,
732
00:36:39,319 --> 00:36:41,475
and I got given something
called Girl's World,
733
00:36:41,559 --> 00:36:43,355
and it was a head of a doll,
734
00:36:43,439 --> 00:36:45,955
and you pressed a button
and her hair grew
735
00:36:46,039 --> 00:36:47,475
or you could put make-up on her.
736
00:36:47,559 --> 00:36:50,559
And I doused it lighter fluid
and set fire to it in the garden.
737
00:36:53,879 --> 00:36:57,275
Obviously, the whole gendered nature
of toys was like a big kind of...
738
00:36:57,359 --> 00:37:01,035
You've got to buy them toys that are
unisex and all that kind of stuff.
739
00:37:01,119 --> 00:37:05,035
So I bought my daughter some cars,
and straight away she made
740
00:37:05,119 --> 00:37:07,635
the mummy car, daddy car
and baby car and she fed them
741
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:08,999
and put them to bed.
742
00:37:13,679 --> 00:37:15,635
Well, in the 1920s,
there were dolls for grown-ups
743
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:17,755
and it caused
an absolute moral panic.
744
00:37:17,839 --> 00:37:19,679
Oh, you can still get those, Sandi.
745
00:37:22,959 --> 00:37:24,399
APPLAUSE
746
00:37:26,679 --> 00:37:28,955
Have you ever been round
to Alan's house for a dinner party?
747
00:37:29,039 --> 00:37:32,079
Like, "The rest of your guests
are a little quiet, Alan."
748
00:37:33,119 --> 00:37:35,159
I always provide a foot pump.
749
00:37:39,399 --> 00:37:41,279
That's my Tinder profile.
750
00:37:42,919 --> 00:37:46,075
These were known as boudoir dolls,
and they were dolls for adult women.
751
00:37:46,159 --> 00:37:49,115
They were often dressed as flappers.
They wore make-up, they smoked.
752
00:37:49,199 --> 00:37:51,955
I think they're rather marvellous.
Yeah. But they were dressed in
753
00:37:52,039 --> 00:37:54,475
immodest fashions, and they were
a huge fad amongst women
754
00:37:54,559 --> 00:37:57,355
in both Europe and America.
Particularly popular in France.
755
00:37:57,439 --> 00:37:59,475
They were known as
Les Poupees de Paris,
756
00:37:59,559 --> 00:38:03,155
and Anatole France said women
were "forgetting their duty"
757
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,315
because they were so distracted
by playing with these dolls.
758
00:38:06,399 --> 00:38:08,835
So there's a very popular doll
currently on sale
759
00:38:08,919 --> 00:38:12,595
which pees colourful glitter
and poops surprise charms,
760
00:38:12,679 --> 00:38:15,675
and you collect the charms
and make a bracelet.
761
00:38:15,759 --> 00:38:17,315
Oh!
CHRIS LAUGHS
762
00:38:17,399 --> 00:38:19,395
I'm just saying... A poo bracelet?
763
00:38:19,479 --> 00:38:22,675
Yeah. I'm just saying
it's available. Yeah.
764
00:38:22,759 --> 00:38:24,675
Now, time to rummage
in the QI toy box
765
00:38:24,759 --> 00:38:28,115
and see what we can come up with
in the way of General Ignorance.
766
00:38:28,199 --> 00:38:31,839
Why did Pinocchio's nose
start growing?
767
00:38:33,079 --> 00:38:34,995
The whole audience goes,
"Oh, it's trick."
768
00:38:35,079 --> 00:38:36,635
Yeah.
769
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:38,875
Um... He lied.
770
00:38:38,959 --> 00:38:40,475
Oh, there you go.
771
00:38:40,559 --> 00:38:43,635
KLAXON
772
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:48,835
So do you know who wrote Pinocchio?
Yes. An Italian. Yes. 1938.
773
00:38:48,919 --> 00:38:51,795
Niccolo somebody or other.
Carlo Collodi.
774
00:38:51,879 --> 00:38:54,755
Carlo Collodi! Carlo Collodi. 1881.
775
00:38:54,839 --> 00:38:56,399
Oh. So, a little bit...
776
00:38:58,799 --> 00:39:01,915
I would've believed you, though.
You've got a good rap in facts.
777
00:39:01,999 --> 00:39:03,315
Yeah.
778
00:39:03,399 --> 00:39:05,915
CHRIS: I think he just says things
with confidence, thinking,
779
00:39:05,999 --> 00:39:08,955
"No-one will pull me up on this."
780
00:39:09,039 --> 00:39:11,395
Pinocchio's nose grows twice
in the original.
781
00:39:11,479 --> 00:39:14,395
So, initially when Geppetto
the carver first carves him,
782
00:39:14,479 --> 00:39:17,555
and again when he's hungry,
but never when he lies.
783
00:39:17,639 --> 00:39:20,595
It was so popular, the story,
that Collodi then extended the story
784
00:39:20,679 --> 00:39:23,275
and he incorporated the nose growing
as a punishment for lying.
785
00:39:23,359 --> 00:39:25,195
But even then he only does it twice,
786
00:39:25,279 --> 00:39:27,235
and Pinocchio lies
way more than that.
787
00:39:27,319 --> 00:39:29,075
Does Jiminy Cricket
appear in the stories?
788
00:39:29,159 --> 00:39:31,075
Well, in the real story, darling,
789
00:39:31,159 --> 00:39:34,755
Pinocchio gets annoyed with
Jiminy Cricket for being too pious
790
00:39:34,839 --> 00:39:37,839
and kills him with a hammer.
What?! No!
791
00:39:39,679 --> 00:39:40,795
Can you imagine?
792
00:39:40,879 --> 00:39:43,559
"Let your conscience
be your guide now, bitch!" Yeah.
793
00:39:45,279 --> 00:39:48,355
There's some really horrible stuff
in the original story.
794
00:39:48,439 --> 00:39:50,435
There's a snake jumps out
at Pinocchio
795
00:39:50,519 --> 00:39:52,635
and he finds his reaction so funny
796
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:56,275
that he bursts an artery laughing
and dies.
797
00:39:56,359 --> 00:39:58,715
At one point,
Pinocchio's hanged from a tree
798
00:39:58,799 --> 00:40:01,835
by a fox and a cat who leave him
to suffocate. Oh, my God.
799
00:40:01,919 --> 00:40:04,955
I have to say, in the Disney
version, the Pleasure Island in it
800
00:40:05,039 --> 00:40:06,919
was originally called "Boobyland".
801
00:40:08,559 --> 00:40:10,959
CHRIS: That would be
"White Meat Land".
802
00:40:20,119 --> 00:40:22,435
Anyway, they renamed it
just before the release of the film.
803
00:40:22,519 --> 00:40:23,999
Titworld.
804
00:40:25,999 --> 00:40:30,275
According to Time magazine,
Bambi is one of the all-time top 25
805
00:40:30,359 --> 00:40:33,195
in what genre of movie?
806
00:40:33,279 --> 00:40:34,839
Deer films.
807
00:40:36,839 --> 00:40:39,515
Are there 25 deer films?
There's The Deer Hunter.
808
00:40:39,599 --> 00:40:40,835
Yeah.
809
00:40:40,919 --> 00:40:42,439
There's Deer, Oh, Deer. Yeah.
810
00:40:43,599 --> 00:40:45,435
Deer Me, Vicar.
811
00:40:45,519 --> 00:40:47,875
Deer Mother.
Oh, Deer, He's Fallen Down Again.
812
00:40:47,959 --> 00:40:50,675
These were all from the '40s.
813
00:40:50,759 --> 00:40:53,835
Snuff movies, because there's death.
814
00:40:53,919 --> 00:40:56,475
You are closer than deer movies.
What other genres...?
815
00:40:56,559 --> 00:40:59,475
Movies where the main character
loses its mother.
816
00:40:59,559 --> 00:41:02,475
That's every Disney film ever,
though, isn't it?
817
00:41:02,559 --> 00:41:04,555
It's horror. Horror!
818
00:41:04,639 --> 00:41:08,075
Yes. The 1942 film,
based loosely on the book of Bambi,
819
00:41:08,159 --> 00:41:11,835
listed by Time as one of
the all-time top 25 horror movies
820
00:41:11,919 --> 00:41:16,475
alongside Psycho
and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
821
00:41:16,559 --> 00:41:19,355
It is very distressing.
It's terribly horrific.
822
00:41:19,439 --> 00:41:22,355
I mean, I can't even watch Thumper
falling over on the ice, but...
823
00:41:22,439 --> 00:41:26,955
..spoiler alert, both Bambi
and his mother are shot by hunters -
824
00:41:27,039 --> 00:41:29,715
the mother fatally - and the forest
burns down. It's horrific.
825
00:41:29,799 --> 00:41:34,035
Imagine if they'd have taken them
out with a chainsaw, though.
826
00:41:34,119 --> 00:41:36,279
Yeah. Or in the shower. Ee! Ee! Ee!
827
00:41:38,199 --> 00:41:40,719
Right. Name a bird that you can see
at the South Pole.
828
00:41:43,079 --> 00:41:44,995
Well, I'm going to say penguin.
829
00:41:45,079 --> 00:41:46,275
KLAXON
830
00:41:46,359 --> 00:41:47,839
No, Alan, no.
831
00:41:49,079 --> 00:41:50,835
Well, you'd be wrong.
832
00:41:50,919 --> 00:41:53,515
Too cold at the South Pole for them?
They have to stay by the coast
833
00:41:53,599 --> 00:41:55,995
and catch fish. Mm. So, you don't
really get them much closer
834
00:41:56,079 --> 00:41:57,955
than 700 miles away from the Pole.
835
00:41:58,039 --> 00:42:00,755
They spend up to 75%
of their lives in water.
836
00:42:00,839 --> 00:42:03,915
The most southerly bird in the world
is the south polar skuas,
837
00:42:03,999 --> 00:42:05,995
and they've been seen
at the geographic South Pole.
838
00:42:06,079 --> 00:42:08,115
Not a nice bird, actually.
Very aggressive.
839
00:42:08,199 --> 00:42:10,755
It steals the food of other birds.
Well, you'd need to be to survive.
840
00:42:10,839 --> 00:42:13,435
Well, eats the chicks
of other birds. Not nice, is it?
841
00:42:13,519 --> 00:42:16,835
So, hand on, if it steals the food
of other birds and eats the chicks
842
00:42:16,919 --> 00:42:19,399
of other birds,
then there must be other birds.
843
00:42:21,559 --> 00:42:23,639
APPLAUSE
844
00:42:25,199 --> 00:42:26,395
Er, no, fair.
845
00:42:26,479 --> 00:42:29,235
AS COLUMBO: "Just one thing
before I go."
846
00:42:29,319 --> 00:42:32,075
Birds of the same species, perhaps.
Yeah.
847
00:42:32,159 --> 00:42:34,515
Do you know that there's actually
a makeshift golf club
848
00:42:34,599 --> 00:42:35,835
13 degrees above the Pole?
849
00:42:35,919 --> 00:42:39,555
It's run by the New Zealand
Antarctic Programme.
850
00:42:39,639 --> 00:42:41,435
And they have this rule.
851
00:42:41,519 --> 00:42:44,675
If a skua steals your ball,
which they often do,
852
00:42:44,759 --> 00:42:47,635
you get a one-shot penalty.
But if you hit a bird by mistake,
853
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:49,715
you're rewarded with a birdie.
854
00:42:49,799 --> 00:42:51,795
ALL: Aw!
SANDI: I know!
855
00:42:51,879 --> 00:42:54,995
Right, I've toyed with you long
enough. It's time for the scores.
856
00:42:55,079 --> 00:42:57,835
Toy-ling in fourth place with -19,
857
00:42:57,919 --> 00:42:58,835
it's Alan!
858
00:42:58,919 --> 00:43:02,435
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
859
00:43:02,519 --> 00:43:04,955
Toy-ing and froy-ing in third
with -8,
860
00:43:05,039 --> 00:43:06,395
it's Chris!
861
00:43:06,479 --> 00:43:10,315
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
862
00:43:10,399 --> 00:43:12,595
Never toy-ring.
Do you see what I'm doing? Oh!
863
00:43:12,679 --> 00:43:13,875
See what I'm doing there?
864
00:43:13,959 --> 00:43:15,755
With -7, it's Aisling!
865
00:43:15,839 --> 00:43:18,835
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
866
00:43:18,919 --> 00:43:20,195
I did try.
867
00:43:20,279 --> 00:43:22,995
And all hoity-toy-ty,
it's this week's winner with -2,
868
00:43:23,079 --> 00:43:24,395
it's Gyles!
869
00:43:24,479 --> 00:43:27,439
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
870
00:43:33,118 --> 00:43:35,874
Right.
That's it for this edition of QI.
871
00:43:35,959 --> 00:43:38,515
Thanks to Chris, Gyles,
Aisling and Alan.
872
00:43:38,599 --> 00:43:41,115
And we leave you with this thought
from David Letterman.
873
00:43:41,199 --> 00:43:43,275
You know you've had too much to eat
for Christmas dinner
874
00:43:43,359 --> 00:43:45,155
when you slump down onto a beanbag
875
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:47,635
and realise there is no bean bag.
876
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:50,675
Thank you for letting us
toy with your affections tonight.
877
00:43:50,759 --> 00:43:53,315
From all of us at QI,
Merry Christmas and goodnight.
878
00:43:53,399 --> 00:43:56,479
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
69464
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