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1
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♪
2
00:00:10,287 --> 00:00:11,517
Aah!
3
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(school bell rings)
4
00:00:20,909 --> 00:00:22,179
(Barney belches)
5
00:00:22,946 --> 00:00:25,316
- (work whistle blows)
- Aah!
6
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,430
(scanner beeps)
7
00:00:37,074 --> 00:00:43,294
(playing blues riff)
8
00:00:45,858 --> 00:00:47,228
(tires screech)
9
00:00:47,228 --> 00:00:48,528
Mm.
10
00:00:54,710 --> 00:00:56,580
(tires screeching)
11
00:00:58,718 --> 00:01:00,518
- (horn and toy horn honk)
- What? Whatcha...
12
00:01:00,788 --> 00:01:02,528
(tires screech)
13
00:01:03,426 --> 00:01:05,496
D'oh!
14
00:01:05,497 --> 00:01:05,697
(tires screech)
15
00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,232
(grunts)
16
00:01:11,209 --> 00:01:13,779
(hushed):
Who the hell are these people?
17
00:01:16,486 --> 00:01:18,586
♪
18
00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:26,706
Why you... (frustrated grunting)
19
00:01:33,721 --> 00:01:36,191
Oh, my pâté de campagne!
20
00:01:36,192 --> 00:01:37,832
My "Kick me" sign!
21
00:01:37,829 --> 00:01:39,029
(tires screeching)
22
00:01:39,031 --> 00:01:42,141
Oh, how could she?
Why would she?
23
00:01:42,137 --> 00:01:45,037
So many feelings,
all of them anger.
24
00:01:45,043 --> 00:01:46,183
Must drive them away.
25
00:01:46,179 --> 00:01:48,579
Rage belongs on the road.
26
00:01:48,584 --> 00:01:50,224
(tires screeching)
27
00:01:51,757 --> 00:01:53,027
(growls angrily)
28
00:01:53,026 --> 00:01:54,826
- (shouting gibberish)
- (meowing)
29
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,800
(shouting gibberish)
30
00:02:08,724 --> 00:02:10,494
(tires screeching)
31
00:02:11,029 --> 00:02:13,229
Where the hell's my phone?
32
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:16,473
Got to express my rage
to the person who enraged me:
33
00:02:16,472 --> 00:02:18,482
my wife.
34
00:02:20,113 --> 00:02:21,683
(people murmuring, shouting)
35
00:02:22,652 --> 00:02:25,762
Marge, I am so, so,
36
00:02:25,758 --> 00:02:28,058
so, so angry.
37
00:02:28,063 --> 00:02:30,173
Anger emoji, skull emoji,
38
00:02:30,167 --> 00:02:32,737
eggplant emoji,
because I hate eggplant.
39
00:02:32,739 --> 00:02:34,809
Fire, fire, fire. Aah!
40
00:02:34,810 --> 00:02:36,550
A fire-fire-fire hydrant!
41
00:02:39,251 --> 00:02:40,791
Okay, Homer, stay calm.
42
00:02:40,788 --> 00:02:43,558
Your seat belt will save you.
43
00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:43,791
Wha?
44
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,800
Thank God I still got my airbag.
45
00:02:48,804 --> 00:02:50,474
Safety first.
46
00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:51,314
Hmm?
47
00:02:51,309 --> 00:02:53,249
- Ah. (snoring)
- (whimpers)
48
00:02:53,246 --> 00:02:56,046
Well, at least I got
shatter-proof glass.
49
00:02:56,052 --> 00:02:57,862
Oh, it's shattering!
50
00:02:57,856 --> 00:03:00,756
(distorted):
D'oh...!
51
00:03:04,936 --> 00:03:06,166
(gasps)
52
00:03:06,172 --> 00:03:08,942
I'm soaring through the air
like an angel,
53
00:03:08,944 --> 00:03:10,524
or a beautiful loogie.
54
00:03:10,515 --> 00:03:13,815
How very majestic
the world looks from up here.
55
00:03:13,821 --> 00:03:16,061
The sky, the ocean,
56
00:03:16,059 --> 00:03:16,859
Ralph.
57
00:03:16,860 --> 00:03:19,930
Bart's bald mommy
is going to die.
58
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,343
That's her problem. (laughs)
59
00:03:22,337 --> 00:03:23,807
FEMALE VOICE:
Homer? Yo, big man.
60
00:03:23,808 --> 00:03:26,148
Now's not the time to chill.
61
00:03:26,145 --> 00:03:27,775
What? Who the hell was that?
62
00:03:27,782 --> 00:03:31,022
It's me, Maggie's
Happy Little Elf doll.
63
00:03:31,022 --> 00:03:32,832
Oh, yeah.
64
00:03:32,826 --> 00:03:33,786
She calls you Goobie-Woo.
65
00:03:33,794 --> 00:03:36,334
Of course she does.
That's my damn name.
66
00:03:36,332 --> 00:03:39,272
Okay. Sheesh, Goobie-Woo.
67
00:03:39,271 --> 00:03:41,141
But how are you talking
right now?
68
00:03:41,142 --> 00:03:42,582
That's a little complicated.
69
00:03:42,579 --> 00:03:44,879
You see, I'm a projection
of your psyche,
70
00:03:44,883 --> 00:03:48,223
and you're in the middle of
a very traumatic life event.
71
00:03:48,223 --> 00:03:50,433
Traumatic? What do you mean?
I feel great.
72
00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:53,204
(humming happily)
73
00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:57,039
Homer. Homer, what you're
currently experiencing
74
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,480
is called
post-traumatic elation.
75
00:03:59,478 --> 00:04:01,348
- Is that like Post Raisin Bran?
- (grunts)
76
00:04:01,349 --> 00:04:03,819
Damn it, man,
you are literally in the middle
77
00:04:03,821 --> 00:04:05,591
of a car accident!
78
00:04:07,161 --> 00:04:09,031
What?! Oh, right.
79
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,371
Let me lay this out.
80
00:04:10,367 --> 00:04:12,397
You and me are gonna use
this car ejection
81
00:04:12,404 --> 00:04:15,384
for some self-reflection,
okay, my brother?
82
00:04:15,377 --> 00:04:16,407
And that journey begins with
83
00:04:16,412 --> 00:04:17,922
finding the source
of your anger.
84
00:04:17,916 --> 00:04:22,016
Now, gaze into that
little piece of glass.
85
00:04:23,527 --> 00:04:26,527
I need a safe-deposit box.
Want to know why?
86
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,373
Well, that's why I got into
banking in the first place,
87
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:31,139
for the thrilling stories.
88
00:04:31,142 --> 00:04:33,482
Well, this morning,
I was on my break
89
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:34,720
- at the nuclear power plant...
- Uh-huh.
90
00:04:34,716 --> 00:04:37,186
...so I went and got myself
a bag of chips.
91
00:04:37,187 --> 00:04:39,387
Potato chips.
92
00:04:39,391 --> 00:04:41,561
I feel like I'm at
a story slam right now.
93
00:04:41,563 --> 00:04:44,203
They were so delicious
and salty and chompy,
94
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,771
and before long,
they were all gone.
95
00:04:46,773 --> 00:04:47,373
- No.
- Almost.
96
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,914
Oh, there's a twist?
97
00:04:49,913 --> 00:04:52,323
But then I pulled out this,
98
00:04:52,317 --> 00:04:55,487
a chip that looks exactly like
John Travolta.
99
00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:58,360
And that's why I need
a safe-deposit box,
100
00:04:58,363 --> 00:05:01,503
to protect this treasure forever.
101
00:05:02,539 --> 00:05:05,439
Oh, don't study opera staging
in Vienna, they said.
102
00:05:05,443 --> 00:05:07,983
Work in a bank, they said.
103
00:05:10,020 --> 00:05:13,090
Mm-hmm. Mr. Simpson,
it looks like your family
104
00:05:13,092 --> 00:05:15,362
already has a safe-deposit box.
105
00:05:15,363 --> 00:05:18,303
Your wife rented it out
over a decade ago.
106
00:05:18,303 --> 00:05:21,143
- Wow, you've got a wife.
- Wha?
107
00:05:21,142 --> 00:05:22,082
Now, I'm not supposed to
show you this,
108
00:05:22,077 --> 00:05:25,477
but lucky for you right now
I'm super high.
109
00:05:25,483 --> 00:05:28,863
"Last will and testament"?
110
00:05:28,858 --> 00:05:31,358
Written by Clarence Bouvier,
your father-in-law.
111
00:05:31,362 --> 00:05:34,372
Marge's dad left a will?
112
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,238
He never told me about that
113
00:05:35,237 --> 00:05:37,977
in the four conversations
we ever had.
114
00:05:37,976 --> 00:05:39,576
It says here he set up a trust
115
00:05:39,579 --> 00:05:42,549
to pay Marge Simpson,
ooh, $1,000 a month.
116
00:05:42,552 --> 00:05:47,032
A thousand dollars? What? No.
117
00:05:47,027 --> 00:05:47,727
No! What?!
118
00:05:47,729 --> 00:05:50,969
No! No? What?
119
00:05:50,968 --> 00:05:52,198
No.
120
00:05:52,204 --> 00:05:53,874
And I can confirm that
your wife has been
121
00:05:53,874 --> 00:05:56,884
receiving that money every month
since her father died.
122
00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,390
Marge has been getting
all that money for years,
123
00:05:59,385 --> 00:06:01,255
and she never told me about it.
124
00:06:01,255 --> 00:06:03,525
I-I don't know what to feel.
125
00:06:03,527 --> 00:06:05,457
In these situations,
many of our customers
126
00:06:05,463 --> 00:06:06,773
opt for extreme rage.
127
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:10,067
Well, I hate to just
follow the crowd, but...
128
00:06:10,073 --> 00:06:10,913
(growling angrily)
129
00:06:10,908 --> 00:06:13,678
(grumbling, muttering)
130
00:06:15,383 --> 00:06:17,723
So that's why I was so mad.
131
00:06:17,722 --> 00:06:19,262
And that's why
I'm even angrier now.
132
00:06:19,258 --> 00:06:23,198
For all these years, Marge has
been hiding money from me.
133
00:06:23,199 --> 00:06:26,409
It's a blatant act of, of, uh...
134
00:06:26,405 --> 00:06:28,635
The term is
"financial infidelity."
135
00:06:28,644 --> 00:06:31,254
And I can see how
you'd be angry.
136
00:06:31,249 --> 00:06:32,279
Oh, thank you.
137
00:06:32,284 --> 00:06:33,924
- But it's the wrong emotion
to feel.
- Damn it.
138
00:06:33,921 --> 00:06:36,431
Homer, I'm gonna help you
work through this anger
139
00:06:36,425 --> 00:06:39,265
so you can find peace.
140
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:41,965
Aw, work? That sounds like work.
141
00:06:41,970 --> 00:06:43,510
How much time do I have?
142
00:06:43,507 --> 00:06:44,677
I'd say about
point-three seconds
143
00:06:44,776 --> 00:06:47,546
- judging by how fast
you're flying towards that tree.
- Aah!
144
00:06:47,548 --> 00:06:51,188
Oh, my God, we're airborne.
145
00:06:51,188 --> 00:06:53,088
- Whoa!
- (all scream)
146
00:06:58,336 --> 00:07:00,406
I don't know which one
I'm more upset about,
147
00:07:00,407 --> 00:07:01,577
that my wife has been keeping
148
00:07:01,576 --> 00:07:03,176
a secret mountain of cash
from me,
149
00:07:03,179 --> 00:07:06,319
or that I'm about to die
in a stupid, violent car wreck.
150
00:07:06,319 --> 00:07:08,419
Don't make me choose,
Goobie-Woo.
151
00:07:08,423 --> 00:07:10,363
(Homer crying out)
152
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,460
Homer, you're spiraling.
153
00:07:11,462 --> 00:07:13,672
Of course I'm spiraling.
154
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,167
I'm literally flying
through the air.
155
00:07:16,172 --> 00:07:18,542
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
156
00:07:18,544 --> 00:07:21,754
Listen, I know you're feeling
all the feels right now,
157
00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:23,750
but we're getting closer
to the real source of your rage.
158
00:07:23,754 --> 00:07:27,734
What? I'm sorry,
I'm eating my feelings.
159
00:07:27,729 --> 00:07:30,799
Bad Homer. Spit out that food,
and those feelings.
160
00:07:30,801 --> 00:07:33,671
(grunts) What was Marge
spending that money on?
161
00:07:33,674 --> 00:07:36,484
And why did she keep it a secret
from everybody?
162
00:07:36,479 --> 00:07:38,619
LISA:
Um, not everybody, Dad.
163
00:07:38,617 --> 00:07:40,517
I hate to say it,
but we've known about
164
00:07:40,521 --> 00:07:42,631
Mom's secret cash
for quite some time.
165
00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:45,625
Yeah, that's why I laugh myself
to sleep every night.
166
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:48,271
What? And here I've been
worried sick about
167
00:07:48,269 --> 00:07:49,469
your night giggles.
168
00:07:49,471 --> 00:07:51,681
Let me tell you
how we found out.
169
00:07:51,677 --> 00:07:54,817
I was blowing off steam
one day...
170
00:07:59,291 --> 00:08:03,131
...and I saw that Mom was
getting $100,000 a month!
171
00:08:03,132 --> 00:08:05,912
LISA:
Then I explained to Bart
how decimal points work.
172
00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:11,350
Then we asked Mom about it,
and she admitted
173
00:08:11,349 --> 00:08:12,819
the whole thing.
174
00:08:12,819 --> 00:08:17,129
So then tell me, why did she
keep the money a secret?
175
00:08:17,127 --> 00:08:18,527
I don't think you can handle it.
176
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:21,000
- I can handle it.
- Okay.
177
00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:22,342
The reason is...
178
00:08:22,337 --> 00:08:25,177
(imitating Marge):
Your father is
an ape-faced butt monster
179
00:08:25,176 --> 00:08:28,246
who eats booger sandwiches
and also sucks.
180
00:08:28,249 --> 00:08:29,749
(laughs)
181
00:08:29,753 --> 00:08:33,293
Why, you little
unreliable narrator!
182
00:08:33,292 --> 00:08:35,702
Ow! Glass is sharp.
183
00:08:35,698 --> 00:08:38,938
Oh, even my kids knew
I was being fiscally unmanned.
184
00:08:38,937 --> 00:08:41,037
(normal voice):
Okay, got to go, ape face.
185
00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:42,042
See you at your funeral.
186
00:08:42,144 --> 00:08:44,824
We'll be the kids running around
in our nice clothes,
187
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:47,816
poignantly unaware of
the finality of death.
188
00:08:47,822 --> 00:08:51,102
Oh, that tree can't
get here fast enough.
189
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:52,125
(straining)
190
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:53,670
Okay, Michael Phelps,
191
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:54,897
don't swim to your death
just yet.
192
00:08:54,903 --> 00:08:57,583
Don't you want to find out
what Marge been
193
00:08:57,575 --> 00:08:59,235
spending the money on?
194
00:08:59,244 --> 00:09:00,924
Oh, you bet I do.
195
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,685
Well, that's what I thought.
Give me your best guess.
196
00:09:03,687 --> 00:09:04,757
I want to give her
the benefit of the doubt,
197
00:09:04,756 --> 00:09:08,826
but I can't help
but imagine the worst.
198
00:09:08,831 --> 00:09:11,901
See you later. I'm off to earn
our only source of income.
199
00:09:11,903 --> 00:09:17,523
He's gone. Robo-butler,
bring me a caviar hoagie.
200
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:22,285
(robotic voice):
My word. This is so expensive.
201
00:09:22,290 --> 00:09:24,560
Mmm. Mmm-mmm.
202
00:09:24,562 --> 00:09:26,472
You know what else
I'm paying for?
203
00:09:26,465 --> 00:09:29,935
Sexy handymen doing chores
around the house.
204
00:09:29,939 --> 00:09:32,909
♪ I got this feeling on the
summer day when you were gone ♪
205
00:09:32,912 --> 00:09:35,552
♪ I crashed my car
into the bridge ♪
206
00:09:35,551 --> 00:09:37,621
♪ I don't care ♪
207
00:09:37,622 --> 00:09:40,592
♪ I love it ♪
208
00:09:40,594 --> 00:09:42,604
♪ I don't care ♪
209
00:09:42,598 --> 00:09:44,298
♪ I love it, I love it... ♪
210
00:09:44,301 --> 00:09:45,741
I don't know which I love more,
211
00:09:45,738 --> 00:09:49,238
being rich or hiding it
from my husband.
212
00:09:49,244 --> 00:09:49,784
(robotic laugh)
213
00:09:49,946 --> 00:09:53,416
Let us mock him through dance.
214
00:09:53,419 --> 00:09:54,989
(rapid mechanical whirring)
215
00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:58,400
♪ I love it. ♪
216
00:09:58,396 --> 00:09:59,396
(growling angrily)
217
00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:01,468
Whew, Homer, I hesitate to ask,
218
00:10:01,469 --> 00:10:03,209
but why does your brain think
219
00:10:03,206 --> 00:10:05,306
that's what Marge is doing
with the money?
220
00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:06,710
Because it's what I'd do.
221
00:10:06,713 --> 00:10:08,583
Except the repairmen would be
my favorite rock stars:
222
00:10:08,584 --> 00:10:10,794
Kiss, Bon Jovi, Men at Work,
223
00:10:10,788 --> 00:10:13,428
because of
their excellent work ethic.
224
00:10:13,426 --> 00:10:14,656
- (grunts)
- Stop!
225
00:10:14,662 --> 00:10:17,102
Your wife is a
much better person than you are,
226
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:20,210
and she's been using the money
in a very different way.
227
00:10:20,206 --> 00:10:21,476
So no robot butler?
228
00:10:21,475 --> 00:10:24,045
♪ You been wasting
all your time ♪
229
00:10:24,047 --> 00:10:25,847
♪ Throwing shade at Marge ♪
230
00:10:25,851 --> 00:10:28,391
♪ You think behind your back
that, yeah ♪
231
00:10:28,389 --> 00:10:29,959
♪ She's been living large ♪
232
00:10:29,959 --> 00:10:34,639
♪ Well, I really, really hate
to burst your bubble, boo ♪
233
00:10:34,636 --> 00:10:36,606
♪ All this time,
she been spending ♪
234
00:10:36,606 --> 00:10:39,176
- ♪ All that cash on you ♪
- On me? No way.
235
00:10:39,178 --> 00:10:40,378
I'm sure that... Huh?
236
00:10:40,380 --> 00:10:42,020
♪ Homie, Homer, check your elf ♪
237
00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:43,447
♪ You ain't too bright,
I'll explain the sitch ♪
238
00:10:43,452 --> 00:10:46,762
♪ All them problems
you think you solved yourself ♪
239
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:47,800
♪ That was Marge, bitch ♪
240
00:10:47,795 --> 00:10:50,095
♪ That was Marge,
bitch ♪
241
00:10:50,099 --> 00:10:52,769
♪ The time your bar tab
was forgiven by Moe ♪
242
00:10:52,772 --> 00:10:54,242
♪ That was Marge, bitch ♪
243
00:10:54,241 --> 00:10:57,351
♪ That time Dr. Hibbert
reattached your big toe ♪
244
00:10:57,347 --> 00:10:58,747
♪ That was Marge, bitch ♪
245
00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:01,490
♪ The time you got off
of that DUI ♪
246
00:11:01,488 --> 00:11:02,888
♪ That was Marge, bitch ♪
247
00:11:02,892 --> 00:11:05,262
♪ I think by now
you know the reason why ♪
248
00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:07,403
Goobie-Woo in da house!
249
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,770
- Oh, my God.
- Whoo!
250
00:11:08,770 --> 00:11:10,880
All this time, I've been
thinking the worst about Marge,
251
00:11:10,875 --> 00:11:15,415
but she was using the money
to save me.
252
00:11:15,416 --> 00:11:17,016
Ya think?
253
00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:21,230
And she only kept it a secret
to save your dumbass male pride.
254
00:11:21,228 --> 00:11:26,008
♪ Well, Goobie-Goobie-Woo,
now I can clearly see ♪
255
00:11:26,005 --> 00:11:27,905
♪ I've got the greatest wife
and spouse ♪
256
00:11:27,909 --> 00:11:30,379
♪ That there could ever be ♪
257
00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:31,750
♪ And what's more... ♪
Huh?
258
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:33,990
Holy crap,
I just flew past the tree!
259
00:11:33,987 --> 00:11:35,957
♪ You're gonna live, bitch ♪
260
00:11:35,958 --> 00:11:38,428
♪ You're gonna live,
bitch ♪
261
00:11:38,429 --> 00:11:39,869
♪ You're gonna live, bitch ♪
262
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,796
♪ Yeah, I'm gonna live. ♪
263
00:11:41,803 --> 00:11:43,073
- (laughs)
- Whoo!
264
00:11:43,072 --> 00:11:46,052
Thank God, I don't have to
be mad at Marge anymore.
265
00:11:46,045 --> 00:11:48,945
If anything, you should be mad
at Marge's dad.
266
00:11:48,951 --> 00:11:51,961
- Huh?
- Oh, snap,
I shouldn't have said that.
267
00:11:51,957 --> 00:11:52,757
"Oh, snap"?
What do you mean, "Oh, snap"?
268
00:11:52,758 --> 00:11:55,428
Oh, snap, why not?
What do you know?
269
00:11:55,430 --> 00:11:57,740
Nothing. And closure! (chuckles)
270
00:11:57,735 --> 00:11:59,865
Closure-closure,
closure-closure.
271
00:11:59,872 --> 00:12:02,442
Oh, no. I got to know
what Marge's dad did,
272
00:12:02,444 --> 00:12:03,484
or said or rapped.
273
00:12:03,479 --> 00:12:07,919
Aha, and I've got
the magical footage right here.
274
00:12:07,922 --> 00:12:10,132
Don't look at it!
You've come so far.
275
00:12:10,126 --> 00:12:12,796
Inner peace has almost defeated
your outer rage.
276
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:15,038
You've got to be strong, man.
277
00:12:15,036 --> 00:12:17,266
So if I look at
that piece of glass,
278
00:12:17,274 --> 00:12:18,644
I could change my fate
279
00:12:18,644 --> 00:12:20,554
and perhaps even risk
my very soul?
280
00:12:20,547 --> 00:12:23,247
Well, I'm cool with that.
281
00:12:23,252 --> 00:12:23,952
What the hell?!
282
00:12:24,054 --> 00:12:26,834
But, Dad,
Homer has a good heart,
283
00:12:26,826 --> 00:12:28,996
and I'm going to marry him.
284
00:12:28,997 --> 00:12:30,897
Oh, honey, this Simpson fellow
will never provide for you.
285
00:12:30,901 --> 00:12:33,741
He has jackass written
all over him.
286
00:12:33,740 --> 00:12:36,450
Marge, do you have
any turpentine?
287
00:12:36,445 --> 00:12:38,275
It's not coming off.
288
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:40,493
Hmm.
289
00:12:40,486 --> 00:12:43,756
His friends did that
after he fell asleep at a party.
290
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:46,630
Homer's the sweetest person
I've ever met.
291
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:48,173
Every time I look into his eyes,
292
00:12:48,169 --> 00:12:51,609
I see someone who will
never stop loving me.
293
00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:54,550
Oh... crap.
294
00:12:54,549 --> 00:12:57,019
Look, I'm gonna leave you
something special in my will
295
00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:58,760
to make sure you're okay,
because you've found
296
00:12:58,757 --> 00:13:00,657
every father's worst nightmare:
297
00:13:00,661 --> 00:13:04,841
true love with a true loser.
298
00:13:04,836 --> 00:13:07,806
Loser? But I thought
Marge's dad liked me.
299
00:13:07,808 --> 00:13:09,678
He was always warning me about
300
00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:11,749
doors hitting my butt
on the way out.
301
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,850
How dare he emasculate me
from beyond the grave?
302
00:13:13,854 --> 00:13:17,604
Uh-huh. I told you
not to look at it.
303
00:13:17,595 --> 00:13:19,325
Wait, how could I remember
that talk
304
00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:22,141
between Marge and her dad
if I wasn't around to see it?
305
00:13:22,137 --> 00:13:25,437
You can see stuff like that
'cause you're a ghost now.
306
00:13:25,443 --> 00:13:27,283
You dead.
307
00:13:28,717 --> 00:13:30,187
(ghostlike):
D'oh...!
308
00:13:30,186 --> 00:13:31,956
I tried to tell you,
and you didn't want to hear me.
309
00:13:31,956 --> 00:13:35,796
You was eating your feelings
and carrying on.
310
00:13:35,798 --> 00:13:38,168
Goobie-Woo knows what's good.
311
00:13:39,004 --> 00:13:41,384
I'm gonna see this
in every dream now.
312
00:13:45,016 --> 00:13:47,386
Oh, my God, I'm in heaven now.
313
00:13:47,387 --> 00:13:49,787
It's so huge, so majestic.
314
00:13:49,792 --> 00:13:51,532
So red.
315
00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:55,895
Ooh, it's one of heaven's
goaty-footed angels.
316
00:13:55,904 --> 00:13:57,414
And look at that giant fork.
317
00:13:57,407 --> 00:14:01,417
Probably for eating
delicious, heavenly s'mores.
318
00:14:01,415 --> 00:14:02,985
Think again, pally.
319
00:14:02,985 --> 00:14:04,615
- (flesh sizzles)
- Ow!
320
00:14:04,622 --> 00:14:06,292
Wait a second, I'm in hell?
But why?
321
00:14:06,291 --> 00:14:09,001
Because you committed
the deadly sin of wrath
322
00:14:08,997 --> 00:14:11,437
against your father-in-law.
323
00:14:11,435 --> 00:14:14,975
So what? Everybody hates
everybody these days.
324
00:14:14,976 --> 00:14:17,046
Plus the rest of
the seven deadly sins
325
00:14:17,047 --> 00:14:20,217
all in the last half second
of your life.
326
00:14:20,219 --> 00:14:22,319
♪
327
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,950
Whoo-hoo! I hit for the cycle!
328
00:14:35,951 --> 00:14:37,991
Okay, so this is
where you check in
329
00:14:37,988 --> 00:14:40,388
for your eternal punishments.
330
00:14:40,393 --> 00:14:40,863
Who are they?
331
00:14:40,861 --> 00:14:43,471
(lively chatter)
332
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,306
That's our exchange program
we have with heaven.
333
00:14:46,305 --> 00:14:48,775
We send them people
condemned for sins
334
00:14:48,777 --> 00:14:49,777
that aren't sins anymore.
335
00:14:49,879 --> 00:14:52,319
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
All aboard for those damned
336
00:14:52,317 --> 00:14:57,027
for being gay between 5000 BC
and like ten years ago.
337
00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,126
- It's about damn time.
- (all cheer)
338
00:14:58,129 --> 00:15:00,329
Make way for Miss Thing!
339
00:15:01,435 --> 00:15:03,705
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Now arriving,
former residents of heaven
340
00:15:03,707 --> 00:15:07,077
who are now considered bad
by today's standards.
341
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,880
Wherefore art I in hell?
342
00:15:08,884 --> 00:15:10,224
I gave the world Othello.
343
00:15:10,219 --> 00:15:13,389
Yeah, and performed it
in blackface.
344
00:15:13,392 --> 00:15:15,002
Get outta here.
345
00:15:14,996 --> 00:15:16,126
(fierce growling)
346
00:15:16,131 --> 00:15:18,541
I didn't even actually
write the plays!
347
00:15:18,537 --> 00:15:21,977
Okay, Mr. Simpson,
looks like your punishment is
348
00:15:21,976 --> 00:15:23,406
to be boiled alive
for all eternity
349
00:15:23,412 --> 00:15:25,552
- in a lake of blood.
- All right.
350
00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:26,791
Just wait over there.
351
00:15:26,786 --> 00:15:29,386
Oh, there's a line?
352
00:15:31,161 --> 00:15:33,031
Hey, do you mind if
I go ahead of you?
353
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:35,072
Yeah, in fact, I do mind.
354
00:15:38,142 --> 00:15:41,652
Oh, for... Oh... (groaning)
355
00:15:44,121 --> 00:15:45,561
Fine, take this buzzer.
356
00:15:45,557 --> 00:15:46,987
When we're ready for you,
it'll electrocute you
357
00:15:46,993 --> 00:15:48,903
and set your torso aflame!
358
00:15:48,897 --> 00:15:51,937
I know how buzzers work.
359
00:15:52,671 --> 00:15:54,881
(people screaming, crying out)
360
00:15:54,876 --> 00:15:58,146
Ooh, poker.
361
00:15:58,149 --> 00:16:00,519
Oh, boy, I got-a the best hand.
362
00:16:00,521 --> 00:16:01,891
I'm-a gonna win.
363
00:16:01,890 --> 00:16:02,890
Ha! Nice bluff, Benito.
364
00:16:02,892 --> 00:16:05,802
(laughter)
365
00:16:05,797 --> 00:16:09,607
Marge's dead dad!
366
00:16:09,605 --> 00:16:12,135
(grunting)
367
00:16:12,143 --> 00:16:14,253
You thought
I wasn't worthy of Marge.
368
00:16:14,247 --> 00:16:15,977
I'll kill you
and send you to super-hell!
369
00:16:15,984 --> 00:16:17,964
Hey, hey, behave yourself.
370
00:16:17,955 --> 00:16:20,585
We have standards here.
371
00:16:20,594 --> 00:16:22,164
Shut up, Tom Selleck!
372
00:16:22,163 --> 00:16:24,203
What Marge's dad did to me
was super-sucky.
373
00:16:24,201 --> 00:16:27,271
It's probably the reason
he ended up here.
374
00:16:27,273 --> 00:16:29,013
Actually, he ended up here
thanks to an unrelated
375
00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:31,250
check forging scheme.
376
00:16:31,248 --> 00:16:34,318
Checks. Remember them?
(chuckles)
377
00:16:34,321 --> 00:16:36,121
Oh, crazy.
378
00:16:36,124 --> 00:16:38,104
Homer, uh, let's you and me
take a walk.
379
00:16:38,095 --> 00:16:41,025
Walking?
Oh, this really is hell.
380
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:43,574
- I want to show you something.
- (man groaning)
381
00:16:45,777 --> 00:16:47,547
Wow, another screen?
382
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:51,218
Yeah, this is hell.
Screens everywhere.
383
00:16:51,221 --> 00:16:54,531
Mom, Dad, I'd like you
to meet Mercer.
384
00:16:54,529 --> 00:16:56,099
He designs board games.
385
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,238
Oh, like Parker Brothers?
386
00:16:58,235 --> 00:17:01,135
(laughs)
Yeah, like Parker Brothers. No.
387
00:17:01,141 --> 00:17:04,381
You actually play that
mainstream corporate garbage?
388
00:17:04,381 --> 00:17:07,121
You're so lucky
to be meeting me today.
389
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,120
Seriously, I am
so jealous of you.
390
00:17:09,124 --> 00:17:10,364
Check this out.
391
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:13,299
My new game
is gonna be a huge hit.
392
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,344
It combines the Stratego-ness
of Stratego,
393
00:17:16,338 --> 00:17:19,608
the implicit sexual tension
of Twister,
394
00:17:19,612 --> 00:17:22,922
and the hard-driving whimsy
of Tic-Tac-Toe.
395
00:17:22,918 --> 00:17:25,058
It's called Side-gammon.
396
00:17:25,056 --> 00:17:28,156
Who's up for a game? Huh?
397
00:17:29,397 --> 00:17:31,027
Oh, come on!
398
00:17:31,034 --> 00:17:32,404
It's super complicated!
399
00:17:32,403 --> 00:17:34,373
You'll be out
before you know it,
400
00:17:34,374 --> 00:17:36,414
and you'll be humiliated!
401
00:17:36,411 --> 00:17:38,951
(growls angrily) Excuse me,
I have to go yell something
402
00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:41,260
into your washer-dryer.
403
00:17:41,255 --> 00:17:44,325
He really is brilliant,
and he has a good heart.
404
00:17:44,327 --> 00:17:45,727
- I'm going to marry him.
- (door closes)
405
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,041
MERCER (in other room):
I'm the Mozart of board games
406
00:17:48,035 --> 00:17:49,065
and novelties!
407
00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:52,440
Why, that guy's a total loser.
408
00:17:52,443 --> 00:17:54,413
I don't want him to marry Lisa.
409
00:17:54,414 --> 00:17:57,394
Wait, I was never as bad
as him, was I?
410
00:17:57,387 --> 00:18:00,457
(chuckles)
Actually, there was a time
411
00:18:00,459 --> 00:18:02,129
when I would have preferred
that guy to you.
412
00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:03,530
Plus, you know what?
413
00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:05,303
We got an advance copy
of Side-gammon,
414
00:18:05,303 --> 00:18:07,683
- and it's not bad.
- Oh, my God.
415
00:18:07,675 --> 00:18:10,305
I'm starting to see things
from another point of view.
416
00:18:10,313 --> 00:18:11,553
Your point of view.
417
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:13,549
I didn't even know
other people had those.
418
00:18:13,553 --> 00:18:15,563
You were just worried
about Marge,
419
00:18:15,557 --> 00:18:17,227
the way I'd be worried
about Lisa.
420
00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:20,126
No matter how old
and dead we get,
421
00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:23,072
we just want to make sure
our little girls are okay.
422
00:18:23,072 --> 00:18:25,642
- (buzzer buzzing)
- D'oh!
423
00:18:25,644 --> 00:18:28,124
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Homer Simpson,
we are now ready
424
00:18:28,115 --> 00:18:30,285
to boil you for eternity
in a lake of blood.
425
00:18:30,286 --> 00:18:34,226
Wow, suddenly
that doesn't sound so good.
426
00:18:34,227 --> 00:18:36,567
(angelic choir sings)
427
00:18:36,566 --> 00:18:38,266
Eh, you just had
an epiphany, pally,
428
00:18:38,268 --> 00:18:39,508
which means you get
to go back to your life.
429
00:18:39,505 --> 00:18:44,005
It's a dumb rule, but we need
a two-thirds vote to change it.
430
00:18:44,014 --> 00:18:45,584
Which is also a dumb rule.
431
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:47,664
What can I say?
Hell ain't perfect.
432
00:18:47,655 --> 00:18:49,825
Homer, you're getting
another chance.
433
00:18:49,825 --> 00:18:53,365
Now, get the hell out of hell
and go back to my daughter.
434
00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:56,735
You heard the man.
Let's get your ass home.
435
00:18:56,739 --> 00:18:57,369
(angelic choir sings)
436
00:18:59,578 --> 00:19:01,108
BOTH:
Ow!
437
00:19:01,114 --> 00:19:03,724
- Damn, that hurt.
- (groans)
438
00:19:06,191 --> 00:19:08,561
You died and went to hell.
439
00:19:08,563 --> 00:19:09,933
Ralph knows.
440
00:19:09,932 --> 00:19:11,642
Whee!
441
00:19:13,339 --> 00:19:14,469
Thank you, Goobie-Woo.
442
00:19:14,474 --> 00:19:17,084
I learned more
tumbling through the air
443
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,950
than I ever did
tumbling through my life.
444
00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:22,162
- (tires screech)
- (siren whoops)
445
00:19:25,129 --> 00:19:27,199
- (gasps) Dad!
- Homer!
446
00:19:28,770 --> 00:19:31,210
Goobie-Woo. (giggles)
447
00:19:31,208 --> 00:19:33,908
Oh, Homie,
thank God you're okay.
448
00:19:33,913 --> 00:19:35,883
(Homer groaning)
449
00:19:40,059 --> 00:19:41,259
Homer, I have to ask you,
450
00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:44,901
why did you send me
that angry text?
451
00:19:47,206 --> 00:19:48,336
It doesn't matter.
452
00:19:48,342 --> 00:19:50,352
I have since set aside
my own ego
453
00:19:50,346 --> 00:19:52,676
and learned to savor
my many blessings.
454
00:19:52,684 --> 00:19:56,434
And you, my darling,
are foremost amongst them.
455
00:19:56,425 --> 00:19:59,295
I don't understand
a thing he's saying.
456
00:19:59,297 --> 00:20:01,767
(shouting gibberish)
457
00:20:03,873 --> 00:20:05,883
He seems to be in a lot of pain.
458
00:20:05,877 --> 00:20:07,607
Can't you give him something?
459
00:20:07,614 --> 00:20:08,524
Absolutely not.
460
00:20:08,516 --> 00:20:09,686
No can do till we get
to the hospital.
461
00:20:09,685 --> 00:20:12,955
(groaning)
462
00:20:12,958 --> 00:20:14,358
(Marge sighs)
463
00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:19,614
(sighs):
Ah.
464
00:20:19,605 --> 00:20:22,875
I guess I can go another month
without a new purse.
465
00:20:24,214 --> 00:20:27,024
♪ That's the end, bitch ♪
466
00:20:27,019 --> 00:20:29,159
♪ That's the end,
bitch ♪
467
00:20:29,157 --> 00:20:30,087
♪ That's the end. ♪
468
00:20:30,092 --> 00:20:32,602
That's the end. (laughs)
469
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:34,998
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
470
00:20:35,002 --> 00:20:36,972
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
471
00:20:36,973 --> 00:20:38,143
and TOYOTA.
472
00:20:38,242 --> 00:20:40,482
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
473
00:20:43,485 --> 00:20:45,885
You see, I'm a projection
of your psyche,
474
00:20:45,891 --> 00:20:47,391
and you're in the middle of
475
00:20:47,393 --> 00:20:50,433
- a very traumatic life event.
- LISA: And cut.
476
00:20:50,433 --> 00:20:51,943
Now we should move on
to the part
477
00:20:51,936 --> 00:20:53,766
where your character slaps Dad.
478
00:20:53,773 --> 00:20:55,113
Wait a minute,
isn't that just a sound effect?
479
00:20:55,109 --> 00:20:58,819
No, it's got to be real.
Right, Lizzo?
480
00:20:58,817 --> 00:21:03,127
Uh, seems a bit excessive to me,
but, hey, pshh, you're the kid.
481
00:21:03,125 --> 00:21:05,225
You know what?
If you're uncomfortable,
482
00:21:05,229 --> 00:21:07,429
- you don't have to do it.
- (Homer sighs)
483
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,773
I could do it for you.
And action!
484
00:21:09,772 --> 00:21:12,642
- (grunts)
- Maybe a few more for safety?
485
00:21:12,644 --> 00:21:13,654
(Homer grunting)
486
00:21:13,646 --> 00:21:16,546
Whose safety? (grunts)
I don't feel safe!
487
00:21:16,552 --> 00:21:19,362
- (rhythmic slapping)
- Ow. Ow.
488
00:21:19,357 --> 00:21:20,687
Why, you little...
489
00:21:20,694 --> 00:21:21,564
- This beat is fire.
- (Homer continues grunting)
490
00:21:21,562 --> 00:21:24,972
Yo, Lisa, how 'bout
I get Sasha Flute,
491
00:21:24,969 --> 00:21:27,039
you get your saxamaphone,
492
00:21:27,039 --> 00:21:29,039
and we, uh, jam?
493
00:21:29,043 --> 00:21:30,813
I'd love to.
494
00:21:30,814 --> 00:21:33,054
- (playing Simpsons theme)
- Ow. Ow.
495
00:21:33,051 --> 00:21:35,821
Ow. Stop that.
496
00:21:37,059 --> 00:21:42,809
Ow. Ow. Ow.
497
00:21:44,207 --> 00:21:46,077
Why, you little...
498
00:21:46,077 --> 00:21:48,077
Ow.
499
00:21:48,081 --> 00:21:49,551
(music ends)
500
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:51,450
Shh!
36306
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