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1
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Oh, Lord, not today.
2
00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:18,844
Hey, Calvin, greetings...
3
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:21,151
from the future.
4
00:00:21,195 --> 00:00:23,414
Goodbye... from the now.
5
00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,329
Just checking out
this sweet ride
6
00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:27,288
to make sure it's
safe for Grover.
7
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,725
Have you fallenon your ass yet?
8
00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:31,292
Not yet.
9
00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:33,685
Oh, well, then,looks like I have a few minutes.
10
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:38,168
Now, I always test out Grover's
toys before I give them to him.
11
00:00:38,212 --> 00:00:39,561
I've swallowed
every size Lego there is
12
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:41,345
to make sure
they're not a choking hazard.
13
00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:42,694
Turns out, some of them are.
14
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,568
Dave, I got to get to work,so if you're gonna fall,
15
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:48,091
you know, let's make it happen.
16
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,745
Actually,
17
00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:52,443
I'm starting
to get the hang of this thing.
18
00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:54,445
It's a lot easier
than it looks!
19
00:00:54,489 --> 00:00:56,360
Whoa, whoa!
Dave, watch out!
20
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:58,101
Oh!
21
00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:03,454
Hey, man, are you all right?
22
00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:04,890
Yes, but...
23
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:07,328
Did you see that
idiot out there?
24
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,417
Yeah, that speeding caralmost hit him.
25
00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:12,855
Are you sure you're okay?
26
00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:14,683
Yeah, I'm-I'm
fine, thanks.
27
00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:17,642
Well, good. Well, look,I'm late for work, but, um,
28
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:19,557
this was totally worth it.
29
00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:23,474
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
30
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♪ Welcome to the hood.
31
00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:32,744
Oh, hey, Dave.
32
00:01:32,788 --> 00:01:34,616
Hey, Calvin. I need
your signature.
33
00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:36,400
I told you,
I am not autographing
34
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:38,228
that picture of us at Benihanas.
35
00:01:38,272 --> 00:01:41,188
I'm not here
for that.
36
00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:43,146
But FYI, everyone else
at the table signed it.
37
00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:45,540
Look, I'm sorry, Dave.
38
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,194
I don't want Calvin
signing anything.
39
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:49,457
I'm still trying to get him outof that damn record club.
40
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:51,720
Three years and 20 more CDs,
41
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,156
and I'm scot-free.
42
00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:57,769
Well, you know, actually,
after yesterday,
43
00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,423
I decided to do something
about all the speeders.
44
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,251
It turns out
there's a new navigation app
45
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:03,471
that's sending cars downour street to beat the traffic.
46
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,516
You know, I usedone of those things once.
47
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,431
The stupid thing told me
48
00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:09,955
to drive throughsomeone's backyard.
49
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:12,784
But on the plus side,I saved about three minutes.
50
00:02:12,828 --> 00:02:14,786
Well, you know,
51
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:17,267
I did some research, and the
city will put in a speed bump
52
00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:19,226
if I get a signature from
everyone on the street.
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00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:20,488
You're my first stop.
54
00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,533
And your last one.
55
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:26,668
A white guy goingdoor-to-door for signatures
56
00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:27,930
in this neighborhood?
57
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:30,411
Nice knowing you, Dave.
58
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:32,413
What Calvin is
trying to say--
59
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:35,459
people around here are a little
suspicious of getting scammed.
60
00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:37,592
You know? Dwayne Wilson
thought he was signing up
61
00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:39,855
for free HBO
and ended up in the Marines.
62
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:43,337
Poor bastard just made colonel.
63
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:47,863
Well, if
door-to-door
64
00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:49,604
isn't gonna work,
what should I do?
65
00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:51,519
Well, first,if you want people
66
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:52,998
to sign anything around here,
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00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:55,740
you got to earn their trust.
Mm.
68
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,046
Well, how do I do that?
69
00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:59,004
Well, I mean,
they're all individuals, Dave.
70
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:02,704
For example,Trey likes to talk about sports
71
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:05,881
and how paternity tests
can be wrong sometimes.
72
00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:10,494
And Old Miss Kim likestalking about Bingo, her garden
73
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:13,541
and how her milkshakebrings all the boys to the yard.
74
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,501
And whatever you do,
75
00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:21,288
do not ask Little Hatchet
how she got her nickname.
76
00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:23,681
Or why she got a
divorce, but they're
77
00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,770
basically both
the same story.Basically the same story.
78
00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:31,428
Man, it sounds like I've bit offmore than I can chew.
79
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:34,649
This is that Lego fireman
all over again.
80
00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:36,694
Dave, just invite
everybody over,
81
00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,566
give them some food,
and they'll sign.
82
00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,742
It'll only work
if you do one thing.
83
00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:44,311
Feed 'em catfish and cornbread.
84
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:45,747
Why that?
85
00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,966
Because that's
what I'm in the mood for.
86
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,499
Hey, G-man,
87
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,065
what are you doing?
88
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:02,720
Just playing soccer in my head.
89
00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:04,374
Hey, I just scored!
90
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:08,378
Well, I used to pretendlike that in my head.
91
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,075
Except instead of soccer,it was girls.
92
00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:13,470
Yeah, but you
never scored.
93
00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:16,778
So, why are you just
pretending to play
94
00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:19,084
when you got this whole lawn
right here?
95
00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:20,912
Since my dad almost got hit
by a car,
96
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,740
my mom won't let me play
near the street.
97
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,481
She's being crazy.
98
00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:27,310
No, I just think she's beingcautious and protective.
99
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,964
No, she's being crazy. Watch.
100
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,838
Grover, I told you
to stay on the porch!Whoa!
101
00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:39,061
Wow, Gemma. You got here
before your voice did.
102
00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:40,671
Sorry.
103
00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:42,543
I'm just so worried about
Grover getting hurt.
104
00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:45,110
You know, with all the cars
zipping up and down the street.
105
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:46,634
Yeah, we get it.
106
00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:48,810
Our mom was afraid of
a lot of stuff, too.
107
00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,073
We spent half our childhood
locked up like Grover here
108
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,118
in porch jail.
109
00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:55,425
Yeah, she put us in therefor earthquakes, pit bulls,
110
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:56,948
that guywith the ice cream truck
111
00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,994
that never hadany ice cream.
112
00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:05,914
Well, hey, we are goingto check out the Pasadena fair.
113
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:08,133
Why don't you let us take
Grover with us?
114
00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:10,571
Can I, Mom, please?
115
00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:12,573
I don't know.
116
00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:15,140
Do you promise notto do anything dangerous?
117
00:05:15,184 --> 00:05:16,620
Oh, absolutely.
118
00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,143
I guarantee we will have
119
00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:21,843
a no-fun, danger-free,
super-boring time.
120
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:25,368
Uh, I'm not sure
I want to go anymore.
121
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,633
Hey, zip it, kid, we're
trying to break you out.
122
00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:36,161
I haven't
123
00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:37,728
seen this much of
the block in one place
124
00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:39,730
since Colonel Wilson
got home from Iraq.
125
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,865
And everyone isloving my food.
126
00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:47,042
No one's even noticed thatthe catfish is actually tofu.
127
00:05:47,085 --> 00:05:49,871
Uh-uh. This ain't right.
128
00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:55,180
Calvin, you were right.This was the perfect way
129
00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:57,748
to get the whole streeton board for the speed bump.
130
00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,663
What can I say, Dave?
These are my people.
131
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,056
I love them,
and they love me.
132
00:06:01,099 --> 00:06:03,101
Out of the way, jackass.
133
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:07,410
Who's that?Oh, that's Walter.
134
00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:09,499
That's the jerk that lives
on the other side of me.
135
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:11,762
Oh, man, I've never seen him
outside of the house before.
136
00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:13,851
Yeah, because he only
comes out at night,
137
00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:16,419
like bats and vampires.
138
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:19,466
Well, now that everybody's here,let's... let's get started.
139
00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:24,427
Okay, uh, if I could have
everyone's attention, please.
140
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:27,952
An easel? Is he gonna talk abouta speed bump or paint one?
141
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,042
Dave lovesgiving presentations.
142
00:06:31,086 --> 00:06:32,566
One time I asked him why,
143
00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:35,960
and he answeredwith a ten-minute presentation.
144
00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:38,572
Okay, now, I don't want to taketoo much of your time,
145
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:40,138
so I'll just get right to it.
146
00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:44,099
Pasadena.
147
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:49,496
Jewel of the San Gabriel Valley.
148
00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,933
Established in 1874,
but, you know,
149
00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,717
oddly, not incorporated until...
150
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:56,067
How long is this gonna take?
151
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:59,636
I have plans
with a gentleman tonight,
152
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,987
and I'm hoping
he's not gonna be a gentleman.
153
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:05,468
LITTLE HATCHET:Yeah.
154
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:08,689
And I got a cable guy coming
between now and Friday.
155
00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:12,867
Hey, hey, Dave, you-you maywant to speed this up.
156
00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:14,695
Yeah, got it. Okay, uh,
157
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:16,827
skipping
the Industrial Revolution,
158
00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:19,874
the sinking of the Titanic,
uh, World War I...
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00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:25,575
The automobile.
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00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:27,098
I'm out.
161
00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,100
It's not worththe free food.
162
00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:30,580
I can come over earlier.
163
00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:32,277
Got to go.
164
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:34,976
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.
All right, hold up, everybody.
165
00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:36,586
Come on now.
166
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:39,284
I want to walk out on Dave
just as much as you do,
167
00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:42,287
but he actually has
something important to say.
168
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:45,639
More important than this sweet
piece of meat right here?
169
00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:51,688
Okay, all right, guys.
170
00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:53,037
Look, we've all seen how fast
171
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:54,996
these cars have beengoing down our streets.
172
00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:56,780
And I think it's timewe do something about it.
173
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,260
That's true.WOMAN:
You got a point.
174
00:07:58,303 --> 00:08:00,001
That is true.CALVIN:
Hey, come on out here, Dave.
175
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,524
Come on now.
Come on now.
176
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:02,873
Thank you, Calvin, and, look,
177
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:05,049
I'll-I'll cut
right to the chase.
178
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:07,530
To quote Henry Ford...Oh, you know what?
179
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:10,141
To quote Calvin Butler,if you sign, you can leave.
180
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:18,323
So, how's thatdeep-fried pickle?
181
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:21,936
It's pretty
disgusting. Um,
182
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:23,851
some things should not be
battered and put on a stick.
183
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,595
Ooh, deep-fried butter.
184
00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:32,163
Whoa!Oh.
185
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:34,731
Can we go
on that roller coaster?
186
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:35,950
Uh, sorry, little man.
We promised your mom
187
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,342
we wouldn't do
anything dangerous.
188
00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:39,780
And we already pushed our luckwith the petting zoo.
189
00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:41,651
That pygmy goat triedto eat my jacket.
190
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:44,828
Hey, how about we go
on the Ferris wheel?
191
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:48,179
Ferris wheel?
That's the lamest ride here.
192
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:50,181
Well, we can go back
to the bounce house.
193
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:52,706
And if you promiseto be careful,
194
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:55,752
this timewe'll let you jump.
195
00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:58,581
Fine, we'll go
on the stupid Ferris wheel.
196
00:08:58,625 --> 00:08:59,974
But you guys are boring.
197
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,979
That kid's not as cute
as he used to be.
198
00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:08,809
Thank you.
199
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,201
Oh, thank you so much.
200
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:12,682
Yeah, good.Oh, here you go.
201
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:14,379
Now, you surethis not for the Marines?
202
00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:16,381
Hmm.
203
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:18,775
You'd be a lot safer
joining the Marines
204
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,864
than going over to
Miss Kim's tonight.
205
00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:25,216
I know. Pray for me.
206
00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:30,308
Hey, thanks for
backing me up, Calvin.
207
00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:32,093
Everyone's signing
the petition.
208
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,834
Well, nothing'smore important to me
209
00:09:33,877 --> 00:09:35,400
than the safetyof our neighborhood.
210
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:37,402
I'll do anythingto protect these kids.
211
00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,100
Oh, hey, Walter.
If you could just sign
212
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:40,405
on the last spot
right there.
213
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:43,060
Oh, yeah, I'd...I-I'd be happy to
214
00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:46,890
if Calvin finally agrees to movehis fence off of my property.
215
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:49,850
Well, Dave, we tried.
216
00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,994
Hey, Calvin, what
was that all about?
217
00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:08,216
That fool thinks my fence issix inches onto his property.
218
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:11,611
Is it?Whose side are you on, Dave?
219
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:15,005
Calvin, Walter's
the last signature we need
220
00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:16,659
to get the speed bump.
221
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,748
Look, that fence has been theresince I moved in,
222
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,271
and I'm not moving it now.
223
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:23,274
Plus, if I give in to him once,it won't stop there.
224
00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:26,974
I'm telling you, Dave,
kindness is a slippery slope.
225
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,717
Well, okay, Calvin,
that's not true.
226
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,284
Oh, yes, it is.
I said hello to you once,
227
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:35,025
and look at us now.
228
00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:38,246
Okay, well, if you won't move,
229
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:39,726
then how are we gonna get
the speed bump?
230
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:42,946
Oh, that's easy.
Gonna wait for him to die.
231
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:46,167
Hey, besides, I got youall those other signatures.
232
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,777
Yeah, which mean
absolutely nothing
233
00:10:47,821 --> 00:10:49,300
if we don't get Walter's.
234
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,911
Well, I'm sorry, Dave.
235
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:52,826
If it makes you feel any better,
236
00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:55,219
I'll sign the picture
of us at Benihana.
237
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,439
It's too late.
238
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:59,136
I already forged it.
239
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,186
Ha-ha!
240
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:06,753
Wow! What a view!
241
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,885
Yeah, check this
out, little man.
242
00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:11,192
You can see everything
from up here.
243
00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:13,498
Like how much fun
they're having over there
244
00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,718
on the roller coaster!
245
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,198
Are you kidding?
246
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:18,808
That doesn't looklike much fun at all.
247
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:21,245
We are totally coming back heretomorrow.
248
00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:23,857
Whoa!
Whoa!
249
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,162
Whoa!Hey, now, hey!
250
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:26,337
What just happened?
251
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:27,687
Uh, I don't know.
252
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,819
Hey, maybe they're
just letting more riders on.
253
00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:31,081
Uh, or...
254
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:32,517
maybe the motorjust caught on fire,
255
00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:35,129
and the operator triedto put it out with his beer!
256
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:36,957
Seriously?
257
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,176
Hey, hey, look, it's
okay, little man.
258
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:41,396
All right? Everything
is gonna be fine.
259
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:42,963
It's not fine.
260
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:44,355
It's awesome!
261
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:46,009
What? Oh!Finally, some realfun.
262
00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:48,142
Whoa!No!
263
00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,756
Calvin Butler.
264
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,845
What is wrong with you?
265
00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:57,455
I would say nothing,
but I'm sure
266
00:11:57,499 --> 00:11:59,066
you're about
to tell me different.
267
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:02,112
You're damn right I am.
268
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,201
Dave just told mewhat happened.
269
00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:06,029
I cannot believe
after all of these years
270
00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:08,031
you're still fighting
over that stupid fence.
271
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:11,208
Why does Walter care so much
about six inches?
272
00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:12,862
Well, why do you care so much?
273
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:14,429
It's six inches.
274
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,911
Is it about the money?
275
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:20,391
I mean, it can't bethat expensive to move a fence.
276
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:22,393
No, it's not about that.
It's about the principle.
277
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:24,178
And it's like
my father always said:
278
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:27,007
"A man's fence is
a man's fence."
279
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:29,574
When did your father say that?
280
00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,968
Whose side are you on, Tina?
281
00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:34,231
Is your pridemore important
282
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:37,060
than the safety of the kids
in this neighborhood?
283
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:40,063
Nah, babe. Don't try to make
this whole speed bump thing
284
00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:41,543
about safety.
285
00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:45,329
Okay...
286
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,418
when Malcolm and
Marty were little,
287
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:50,247
you did everything in your
power to keep them safe.
288
00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:52,467
You even used
to make Marty wear a helmet
289
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,469
just to play hide-and-seek.
290
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:57,167
I made him wear that thingall the time.
291
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:59,517
The kid had no balance.
292
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:01,302
Okay.
293
00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:03,826
When Malcolm said
that he was old enough
294
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,524
to take his bike to the park,
you followed him in your car
295
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,439
just to make sure
he got there safely.
296
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,571
I had to.
297
00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:11,921
He was pulling Marty in a wagon.
298
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:14,402
That boy fell out
every two blocks.
299
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,189
Come on, babe.
300
00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:20,495
You love Grover.
301
00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:25,108
Doesn't he deserve to be
just as safe as our boys were?
302
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:27,589
Yeah, I guess.
303
00:13:29,069 --> 00:13:31,114
That's my big papa bear.
304
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:33,508
Taking careof all the little cubs.
305
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,903
Yeah, you know me, huh?
306
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:38,948
Always looking out for
the neighborhood kids.
307
00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:40,254
Mmm.
308
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:41,603
Oh. You know what?What?
309
00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:43,257
That gives me an idea.What?
310
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:46,086
I can underpay them
to move the fence.
311
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:52,092
Yeah!
312
00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:56,052
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You have got
to cut that out, little man.
313
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:57,967
You have got to stop.
314
00:13:58,011 --> 00:14:01,841
This rocking is not helpingthat deep-fried pizza stay down.
315
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,627
What? When did you eat that?
316
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:08,151
When you guys were
in the bathroom.
317
00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:10,501
You two are no fun.
318
00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:12,503
You're just as bad as my mom.
319
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:15,115
Hey, look, don't be
so hard on her, okay?
320
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:16,986
She just wants
to keep you safe.
321
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:19,554
Why? I'm not a baby.
322
00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:21,295
Yeah, I know.
The only reason
323
00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:23,297
your mom is so
overprotective
324
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,952
is because of how much
she cares about you.
325
00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:28,171
Yeah, i-if you see a kid
having too much fun,
326
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:30,217
that means
his mom doesn't love him.
327
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:34,264
So, that kid
in front of the roller coaster
328
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,571
with his hands
up in the air...
329
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:39,922
You mean the one eating that
corn dog with no shirt on?
330
00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:42,969
Yeah. His mama
don't even know he's here.
331
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:46,276
Wow. That's sad.
332
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,930
Exactly.
333
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:50,933
So every time your mom
tells you, stop running,
334
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:53,283
tie your shoes,
or be careful,
335
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:56,547
what she's really saying
is she loves you.
336
00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:59,072
I guess I'm pretty lucky.
337
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:00,943
You sure are.
338
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:03,946
Which means she's gonna besuper mad when she finds out
339
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,295
you got me stuck up here.
340
00:15:06,557 --> 00:15:08,516
Uh, no, she won't,
no, she won't.
341
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,735
Because we're fine.
Right, Marty?
342
00:15:10,779 --> 00:15:12,259
Yeah, yeah.
We-We're-we're totally safe.
343
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:13,564
This kind of thing happens
all the time.
344
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:17,090
Oh, thank you, Jesus!Ah, we are gonna live!
345
00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:21,659
Thanks so much for
doing this, Calvin.
346
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,574
Did Tina change
your mind?
347
00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:26,403
No. I was alwaysgonna do it.
348
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,449
I just needed to knowhow committed youwere.
349
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,974
Well, you're doing
the right thing,
350
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:34,020
and I, for one,
appreciate it.
351
00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:36,065
Do youappreciate it enough
352
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:38,459
to give me six incheson yourproperty?
353
00:15:38,502 --> 00:15:40,069
Sorry, Calvin.
354
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:41,984
It's like my dad
used to say:
355
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,943
"A man's fence is
a man's fence."
356
00:15:47,381 --> 00:15:49,644
Damn. You're not Miss Kim.
357
00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:53,604
Look, Walter, I need
to talk to you.
358
00:15:53,648 --> 00:15:55,476
Oh, wha-what are you here
to steal now?
359
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,130
My Wi-Fi password?
360
00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:58,479
I'll give youa hint.
361
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:01,743
It's "Calvin"
and four other letters.
362
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:04,485
Look, man,
363
00:16:04,528 --> 00:16:07,618
I just came over here to say
if you sign Dave's petition,
364
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:09,577
I'll move the damn fence.
365
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,319
Great. I was waiting
for you to die.
366
00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:16,018
Walter, I really appreciate it.
367
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:19,979
Just sign right under where Treywrote "Not joining Marines."
368
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:22,503
Okay.
369
00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:24,635
But actually,
since it took you this long,
370
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:27,116
maybe I should charge you
a little interest.
371
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,640
How about we move that fence
a full foot?
372
00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:31,033
What?
373
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:33,122
I got a full
foot for you.
374
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:34,645
You know...Oh, okay, all right, all right.
375
00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:36,038
Calvin, calm down.
376
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:37,518
We need that speed bump.
Please.
377
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:40,608
All right. But
this ain't for you.
378
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:43,132
This is for the kids.
379
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:45,178
Well, in that case,
let's move it two feet--
380
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:47,484
one for me and one for the kids.
381
00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:50,183
Oh, to hell with you!
382
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:52,750
You know what, I can't believeyou're trying to pull this crap,
383
00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:55,188
after all the stuff I let you
slide with over the years.
384
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:57,059
What have you let slide?
385
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,278
Are you kidding me?
386
00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:01,194
Do you know how many
of your old roof tiles
387
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:03,283
have flown over into my yard?
388
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:06,068
And what about the
floodlights you put up?
389
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,418
They're just shining bright
all night in my bedroom.
390
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:11,160
Every time I get up
to go to the bathroom,
391
00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:13,032
it feels like a prison break.
392
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:17,123
Not my problem.
393
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,212
A-Actually,
Walter, it is.
394
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:21,170
According to the
Pasadena Zoning Manual,
395
00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:24,478
those are both residential
C-1 violations.
396
00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:25,566
So?
397
00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:27,307
So, if the city
inspector finds out,
398
00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:30,527
you're staring down the barrel
of some pretty hefty fines.
399
00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:31,702
He is?
400
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:34,444
You are.
401
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:39,319
Yeah, you know, and now that I'mlooking around, there's no way
402
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,712
that this half-saddle door
threshold is up to code.
403
00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:44,324
And don't even get me started
on the enclosed breezeway,
404
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:48,110
which is clearly within fivefeet of a multi-person dwelling.
405
00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:52,767
Do not get him started
on breezeways.
406
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:57,119
Well, hold on, now, we don't
have to get into all of that.
407
00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:58,555
You're right, we don't.
408
00:17:58,599 --> 00:18:00,818
Because you're gonna
sign that petition,
409
00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:03,604
and we're gonna put up a speed
bump to protect these kids.
410
00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:05,432
Are we clear?
411
00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:07,390
Crystal, baby.
412
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:13,396
Fine. You win.
413
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,531
But that catfish
at your party sucked.
414
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,100
Give me my pen.
415
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:25,234
Damn, Dave,that was gangsta, man.
416
00:18:25,278 --> 00:18:28,237
Yeah, you want to hear
something even more gangsta?
417
00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:30,370
I just made all
that stuff up.
418
00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:30,805
I don't even know
what a breezeway is.
419
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:40,684
This is so great.
420
00:18:40,728 --> 00:18:43,296
That speed bump is really gonna
slow people down around here.
421
00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:46,255
Yeah, and it's short enoughthat I could just zip around it.
422
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:50,607
Mom, does this mean
I can play outside again?
423
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:52,740
Yes. But not near the street,
424
00:18:52,783 --> 00:18:56,178
not after dark,
and never without supervision.
425
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:57,875
I love you, too.
426
00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:01,749
Can I go inside
and play on my iPad?
427
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:03,490
Okay.
428
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:07,146
What was I thinking?
He could get carpal tunnel.
429
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:11,976
Look at that
speed bump.
430
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,630
Isn't she
beautiful?
431
00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:16,851
Yeah. It reminds me of you.
432
00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:18,287
Mm.Black,
433
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:19,680
curvy...
434
00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:22,335
and makes me want to slow
down and take my time.
435
00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:23,510
Oh...
436
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:27,949
Oh, now I'm gonna feel guilty
every time I run over it.
437
00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:32,301
But, seriously, you did a
good thing for the community.
438
00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:34,216
You should be proud
of yourself.
439
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:36,305
Well, I'm glad
you feel that way.
440
00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:38,960
Because I've
decided...
441
00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:41,615
I'm not stopping here.
442
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,231
What do you think?
443
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:50,711
You're running for city council?
444
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:52,582
Yeah.You're kidding, right?
445
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:54,236
Nope. You know,
getting this done
446
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,977
really woke up
my sense of civic duty.
447
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:58,762
Plus, I've always wanted to seemy face on a button.
448
00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:02,375
So, if you win,
449
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:05,291
won't that mean you'll be super
busy doing government stuff
450
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:09,251
and won't have the time to
hang around here as much?
451
00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:10,600
I'm afraid so.
452
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,646
Hmm.
Well, in
that case,
453
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:13,951
you got myvote.
454
00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:16,954
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
455
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:18,695
Captioned by
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33449
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