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1
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,279
All right?
Just another normal day at the office.
2
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,516
Just a normal day, innit?
3
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,553
What? What are you laughing at?
4
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,676
He's mad. Obviously, Red Nose Day.
5
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:47,158
It's always a good laugh.
Keith? This is the sort of thing...
6
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,160
Ali G? Ali Keith!
7
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:57,911
Gareth, come here. Normal day,
normal office. What are you doing?
8
00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:01,271
I'm going to hop everywhere. I'm sponsored.
9
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:04,631
That's the sort of thing we'll be doing today.
10
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:08,150
We raised quite a lot last time, didn't we?
11
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:13,832
It is Comic Relief and we're raising money
for people who are starving to death.
12
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:20,633
If I make people laugh
while I'm saving lives, sue me, but...
13
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,273
Do it.
14
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,192
Boyakasha.
15
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:31,111
That's an accountant and that's
the boss encouraging it! Is this normal?
16
00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,710
I've got the "Slough Gazette" coming down.
17
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,354
- What time are they coming?
- Five-ish.
18
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,676
- They'll love us.
- It's just me.
19
00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,996
- We can all be in it.
- Not really.
20
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,670
- They'll love us.
- Stop trying to worm into my photo.
21
00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:01,117
Everyone's joining in.
This young lady... Ooh, a bit saucy.
22
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:05,632
Selling kisses for the lads...
or any ladies who like that...
23
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:11,312
I don't think there are any here,
and if there are, good luck to them.
24
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:16,036
- It's different for girls. Lower risk.
- Erotic.
25
00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:21,997
Well, not in this case.
I mean, it's not a sexual day. It's er...
26
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:26,352
- Here's the man. Finchy!
- Brentmeister!
27
00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:31,236
Kisses for a quid. It's a good cause.
Do you mind kissing me on the nose?
28
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:36,036
- No. Put your quid in.
- OK. Kiss me on the nose!
29
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:40,199
What do I get for a tenner?
Squeal, piggy, squeal!
30
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,515
(GRUNTING AND SQUEALING)
31
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:04,079
- No. I'm not that desperate.
- Who says famine has to be depressing?
32
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:21,911
(TIM) Don't get me wrong. I've gotnothing against it, it's a good cause,
33
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:26,989
but I don't want to join in
with someone else's idea of wackiness.
34
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:33,469
If you see someone collecting for Cancer
Research because they've been affected by it
35
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:39,710
or an old bloke selling poppies,
there's a dignity about it - a quiet dignity.
36
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,480
No. Come on, guys, leave it.
37
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,433
Leave it. Please!
38
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:49,952
And that's what today's all about - dignity.
39
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,879
No! No!
40
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,071
Always dignity.
41
00:03:56,160 --> 00:04:00,119
Bastard!
My wife and kids are gonna see those!
42
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:20,431
There's people watching going, "Oi, Brent!
Why are you bothering with Comic Relief?
43
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:26,078
"There's still people starving."
That's why I'm still doing it. You should too.
44
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:31,718
Probably put a number up there, shall we?
If people want to make donations.
45
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:37,597
I hear people go, "The money
just goes to hungry foreigners." Not true.
46
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:42,396
A lot of it stays in this country
and goes to home-grown problems...
47
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:47,196
AKA the disableds.
A lot of money goes to these fellas.
48
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,517
Not to you. You don't need it, you're working.
49
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:56,317
If you do claim for it, that's up to you,
as long as you don't abuse the system.
50
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,159
- A lot of them are.
- What do you mean?
51
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,157
People abuse the system.
52
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,158
- Ensure people who say they're crippled...
- Disabled.
53
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,316
...actually are...
- Disabled.
54
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:10,513
You think people pretend to be disabled
to claim money off the DSS?
55
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:14,030
- I think there should be tests.
- (TIM) What tests?
56
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,674
Stick pins in their legs, see if they react.
57
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:20,077
I have feeling in my legs. I just can't walk.
58
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:24,398
- I'm just saying there should be tests.
- We're all ears.
59
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:28,195
I dunno. When they go down the DSS
to make a claim,
60
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:33,520
they should set off a fake fire alarm
so everyone legs it, leaving them there.
61
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:39,431
If they're fake, they'll be running with you.
If not, they'll be screaming for help.
62
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:47,433
Then you come back in and say, "Don't cry.
You've passed. Here's your money."
63
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:52,077
Spend it on one
of those little blue cars or whatever...
64
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,396
It's just one idea.
65
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,352
So...
66
00:05:56,560 --> 00:06:01,156
She's joining in with it.
Do you want to put this nose on?
67
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:05,319
- No, I don't.
- It's up to you. Her own decisions.
68
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,789
Gareth, you know
I'm doing kisses for a pound too.
69
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,834
- I wouldn't pay you if you were.
- I'll put your pound in.
70
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:25,999
- So you can kiss me.
- I wouldn't kiss you if you paid me.
71
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:31,354
I am paying. It's quite simple.
As it's for charity, I need to just get...
72
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,791
- Why are you such a bender?
- I'm just...
73
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:39,630
Get off! I'm not kissing you.
You are such a pervert!
74
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:44,231
- It feels good, though.
- Get off! I hope you're getting all this.
75
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,876
I hope your girlfriend knows
or she'll get a big surprise.
76
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:54,474
Is that your big surprise?
I've found his big surprise. All right. OK.
77
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,518
- Flipping heck.
- You take things too far.
78
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:02,235
All right. Don't get so het up about it.
79
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,713
Ha ha! Hoo! Hah!
80
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,957
That was one way. I didn't kiss him back.
81
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:16,236
He's funny. He's a funny bastard.
82
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,830
(EXCITED SHOUTING)
83
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:23,271
- Pass it back.
- You got it?
84
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,232
Yep. You got it.
85
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:31,791
Gather round, everybody.
We've got a surprise for you.
86
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:38,109
- Remember where we were in that game.
- Sheila? Nice costume. You look fantastic.
87
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:45,271
Please give a big warm welcome to the
fantastic Neil Godwin and the lovely Rachel.
88
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,675
OK. It's that time again.
89
00:07:54,120 --> 00:08:00,389
We've both suffered for our art here,
please suffer with us and give generously.
90
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,592
Thanks. Jennifer, could you do the honours?
91
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:10,433
(MUSIC: "MORE THAN A WOMAN"
BY THE BEE GEES)
92
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:17,753
# Oh, girl, I've known you very wellI've seen you growing every day
93
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:22,431
# I've never really looked beforebut now you take my breath away
94
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:26,918
# Suddenly you're in my lifea part of everything I do
95
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:31,557
# You got me working day and nightjust trying to keep a hold on you
96
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:36,515
# Here in your arms I found my paradise
97
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,757
# My only chance for happiness
98
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:44,839
# And if I lose you now I think I would die
99
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:49,591
# Oh, say you'll always be my babywe can make it shine
100
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:56,831
# We can take foreverjust a minute at a time
101
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,031
# More than a woman
102
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,832
# BabyMore than a woman to me... #
103
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:09,396
(MUSIC: "YOU SHOULD BE DANCING"
BY THE BEE GEES)
104
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,909
# My baby moves at midnight
105
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,351
# Goes right on till the dawn
106
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,594
# My woman takes me higher
107
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,996
# My woman keeps me warm
108
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,077
That looks gay.
109
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:28,670
# What you doin' on your back? Aah
110
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,031
# What you doin' on your back? Aah
111
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,869
# You should be dancing, yeah
112
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,637
# Dancing, yeah... #
113
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,354
Thank you very much.
You can add that to yours.
114
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:09,680
Cheers. I've already raised more than that.
£300 we did last time.
115
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:14,271
If you wanted dancing,
you should have come to me.
116
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,358
- Do you dance?
- Big time. Yeah.
117
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:23,510
More modern steps than that. I've fused
"Flashdance" with MC Hammer shit.
118
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:29,074
- All right. Show us your moves.
- No, there's no beat.
119
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,716
- Come on!
- He had music.
120
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:36,356
Well... Just for charity, I'll do a little bit.
121
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,630
# Do do do-do do dah... #
122
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,276
(ALL CONTINUE)
123
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:01,555
(ONLY DAVID CONTINUES TO HUM)
124
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:24,197
- So... That's...
- Great, David.
125
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:33,432
- Give me a bit of warning...
- We have to give a donation for that?
126
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:39,829
All the money collected is for both dances -
both excellent dances in their way.
127
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:45,876
Mine was impromptu, but I don't think
you should get extra points for that.
128
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:50,392
Make your own minds up.
Leave me out of it. It's for charity.
129
00:11:55,800 --> 00:12:01,432
You've seen me entertain and raise money.
Maybe I'd like to do that for a living.
130
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:06,316
Use my humour and my profile
to both help and amuse people.
131
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:12,038
And if it's ideas for TV shows -
game shows or whatever - I'm your man.
132
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:16,279
I'm exploring that avenue
with my management training,
133
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,994
but I'd like to do that on a global scale.
134
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:24,752
It's not, "Look at me. I'm entertaining
whilst saving lives. Aren't I brilliant?"
135
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,633
It's going, "If you think I'm brilliant,
136
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:32,595
"help save these guys who are starving,
but are also brilliant."
137
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:36,270
Not as entertainers.
A lot of them can't speak English.
138
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:40,917
Don't give them a game show,
but save them from dying at least.
139
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:44,829
Then maybe they can
do something in their own country
140
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:48,874
on television
or whatever they have... the wireless.
141
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:52,914
Give them a job
on the World Service or something.
142
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:09,837
We're from the local mental hospital.
Is Gareth Keenan here? He's escaped.
143
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,713
- He is mental.
- Here's my crew.
144
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:19,115
Kisses for a quid. Yes.
145
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,111
My mad mates. That's all we need.
146
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,517
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
147
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:42,953
- Sorry about this. My mad mates.
- Er... Well...
148
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:47,995
- They finally came to take you away!
- Are you mad as well?
149
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,509
- Guilty!
- He's the boss.
150
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:54,713
- Give us a job.
- I've already got one reprobate.
151
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,514
Jimmy the Perv and the Oggmonster.
152
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:02,271
What's the weather like up there?
Your parents put you in a gro-bag?
153
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:07,270
- "Let's grow a lanky, goggle-eyed freak!"
- No need to get offensive.
154
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,994
- I didn't call you Fatty.
- All right...
155
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:15,399
Don't have a go at the eyes, because that's
astigmatism I've had from the age of five.
156
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,273
That's what makes them a bit bulbous.
157
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:23,076
- I didn't call you whale man.
- But I don't call myself the mong boy.
158
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,158
- The Oggmonster.
- I'm not calling you that.
159
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,113
- That's my name.
- What's your real name?
160
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:33,552
- Nathan.
- It's a good name. I'll call you Nathan.
161
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,877
I didn't call you Fatty!
162
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,753
(DAVID) What's the matter with him?
163
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:55,718
I've got a sponsorship form for Comic Relief.
I wanted to enter into the spirit.
164
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:59,549
Gents, sorry to interrupt.
Would you sponsor me?
165
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:05,118
I have to hide as many of Gareth's
possessions as I can from him.
166
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,790
- What?
- Hiding Gareth's belongings.
167
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:13,232
- I'll give you £2 for the lot.
- That's a generous offer.
168
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,716
They're waiting for me.
169
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,268
Break it up. Put her down!
170
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:23,234
No, they wouldn't.
She wouldn't. Her husband's loaded.
171
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,396
He does OK.
172
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,116
Oh, dear.
173
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:35,268
- What a day! He's still...
- David, do you have that report?
174
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:41,315
- Glad you brought that up.
- That's why I'm here.
175
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,399
Yes. Um... Formulating a lot of good ideas...
176
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:49,752
I don't want to talk about a report
we're going to do soon.
177
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:54,715
I want the report we talked about
four days ago that was due today.
178
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,877
You know how important this report is.
179
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:04,039
I discover that this is the fruit of your labours.
180
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:09,109
- Don't go through my stuff.
- Read the first sentence for Jennifer.
181
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:18,879
"Imagine a cross between 'Telly Addicts'
and 'Noel's House Party'.
182
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:24,108
"You've just imagined 'Upstairs Downstairs',
devised and hosted by David Brent."
183
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,834
David, I don't understand this.
184
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:32,912
- Contestants run upstairs and get a clue...
- Not the game show!
185
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,112
I don't understand
why you haven't done the report,
186
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,869
or your consistent failure
to do what is asked of you.
187
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:44,392
You're viewing my methods
like there's something missing.
188
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:49,958
You're looking at the jigsaw that it is
through a keyhole when you should be...
189
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:55,716
- Some words would be useful.
- Actions speak louder than words.
190
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,718
You're on a warning. That's my action.
191
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:03,152
Three strikes and you're out
and things have got to change.
192
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:11,114
Fine. Give me all three now, then,
because I'd love to see you run this place.
193
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:15,518
You'd have a mutiny on your hands,
but if that's what you want...
194
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:19,679
That's not what I want.
I want you doing your job.
195
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,917
- Take the verbal warning...
- Still the warning?
196
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:28,114
...learn from it
and let's move onwards and upwards. OK?
197
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:35,834
Neil makes me laugh, though.
It's his interfering. It's his timing.
198
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:39,396
Going on about some report. It's Red Nose Day.
199
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:44,355
What's more important? You, Neil,
with your report or starving children?
200
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,996
Oh, I don't know.
What would Lenny Henry say?
201
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,634
Imagine him going out on Comic Relief day
202
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:55,595
and Dawn French is going,
"You haven't done the washing up."
203
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:59,793
"Do it yourself!
I've got to save some Africans!"
204
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:08,359
- What are you reading?
- A holiday brochure.
205
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,313
Why is that, then? Going on holiday?
206
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,954
- Possibly.
- Where to?
207
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,912
The States.
208
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,677
- United States?
- Yeah.
209
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:32,552
Don't know if you've heard the gossip,
but Tim's going out with Rachel.
210
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:38,437
- Er... yeah. I'd heard.
- He used to fancy you, didn't he?
211
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,279
- Did he?
- Yeah, he did.
212
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,438
And now he's found someone better.
213
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,198
Yup.
214
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,876
- Seen my phone?
- Huh?
215
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,036
Where's my phone?
216
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,712
- Have you got?
- No.
217
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,673
Where have you put my phone?
218
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,476
- I don't believe it!
- Gareth...
219
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:16,958
- I've told you not to touch my stuff.
- Listen...
220
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:21,312
- It's for charity.
- What else have you taken? My tiny tanks!
221
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:25,638
- How am I supposed to work?
- You'll have to hop to it.
222
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:34,869
- A lot of crime in America.
- Right. Well, I'll be careful.
223
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:40,712
Word of advice.
Keep your traveller's cheques in a bum-bag.
224
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,949
Thanks. I'll buy one.
225
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,354
- When you get there?
- Yup.
226
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:54,474
Word of warning, then.
Out there they call them fanny packs.
227
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,317
'Cause fanny means your arse over there...
228
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,953
...not your minge.
229
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,277
Where's? God, you're so immature!
230
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:21,109
- I demand that...
- Gareth's stopped hopping.
231
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,959
- How can I do any work?
- It's for charity.
232
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,118
- It's for you winding me up.
- He's stopped hopping.
233
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:31,598
I don't have to hop all day.
It's just when I'm moving.
234
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,870
- Where does it say that?
- See?
235
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:39,393
That's mine, for a start.
Where's the rest of it?
236
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:45,311
Gareth. OK, Gareth. Just calm down.
Have a seat. You've been on your foot all day.
237
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,239
God! How do you hide a chair?
238
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,198
- Dawny. Take that?
- Yeah.
239
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,550
You all right? All right?
240
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:10,470
There you go. Prawn and avocado.
See you later.
241
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,150
- You're not going to eat here?
- I've gotta get back.
242
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,396
I made £19 today.
243
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,832
Any of it going to English kids
or all going abroad?
244
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:25,158
Well... Stop moaning
and give her a quid for a kiss.
245
00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:28,591
- I'm not paying for it, mate.
- Them's the rules.
246
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,519
- All right.
- Thank you.
247
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,234
There you go. Come here, you.
248
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,349
Good. That's great.
249
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,557
- See ya.
- See ya.
250
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:50,119
Right. Oh... My contribution.
251
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,551
Thank you. Where do you want
your kiss? Your kiss?
252
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,070
- It's all right.
- You've got to have a kiss.
253
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,236
It's the rules.
254
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,354
- What you doing?
- Just working.
255
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:41,795
I'm very, very, very bored.
256
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,959
Excuse me. Desk procedures.
Chairs are for sitting on.
257
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,630
He's jealous
he's not getting the view you're getting.
258
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,229
Wrong. I got the arse this side.
259
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:57,514
I'd only want to be there if you had on
a skirt and I could look up there at it.
260
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,958
- Aren't you going to defend my honour?
- No.
261
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:06,870
- You'd better get off the table.
- He's embarrassed by his girlfriend!
262
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,559
I'm not.
263
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,551
- Are you all right?
- Yeah.
264
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,556
We're cool.
265
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,676
- Today or tomorrow?
- Tomorrow lunchtime.
266
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,755
- Excuse me, David.
- Yes.
267
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:40,954
- Can we have another quick word?
- Not now. I'm running downstairs.
268
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,277
"The Gazette" are coming in to take my picture.
269
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:48,837
I'm going to be in the paper.
Wernham-Hogg are. Free advertising.
270
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,315
- This shouldn't take long.
- OK.
271
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:56,548
Sorry to spring this on you. We've been
discussing something you said earlier -
272
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,911
it's something we've been thinking about too.
273
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:05,677
We'd like to offer you
a very generous redundancy package.
274
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:14,039
Are you offering it
or telling me I've got to take it?
275
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:20,954
- We're telling you to take it.
- We'll put in a proper meeting tomorrow.
276
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:29,518
That's good timing, isn't it?
Telling me that today. The day of laughter.
277
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,199
Brilliant.
278
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,750
That's that ruined. That's what I was...
279
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,194
It's got pockets and everything.
280
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,638
Now I'll try and go down and be funny.
281
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,550
That's going to be good, isn't it?
282
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,912
With that going through.
283
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,031
I knew you were planning something.
284
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,596
Jennifer, do you agree? Because we can...
285
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:17,754
I'll be all right. I've got other irons in the fire.
286
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,032
It's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
287
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:27,190
I'm going to love to see you telling that lot,
because you'll have a mutiny.
288
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,756
They will go berserk. Definitely.
289
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,389
If that's it, can you leave now, please?
290
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:41,948
I've got stuff to do. I've got laughter...
I've got money to raise. Mouths to feed.
291
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,276
- Thanks for your time.
- Yeah.
292
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:08,675
If you're wondering what that meeting
was just about in there...
293
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,236
That's it. I've been made redundant.
294
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:18,993
Yeah.
295
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:26,709
After it was me who saved others
from redundancy. And then it's back...
296
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,069
The good die young.
297
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:36,276
But um... Yes... I said you lot are going mental.
298
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,717
Now I've got to go and give laughter.
299
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,358
But...
300
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:50,792
See ya.
301
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:52,713
Eh?
302
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,473
See ya.
303
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,556
OK. Can you just make it peck?
304
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,673
Just run around a bit.
305
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,273
Yeah.
306
00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:27,793
Good.
307
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:35,553
Good.
308
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,391
OK.
309
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:41,831
- Smile. It's for Comic Relief.
- Can I stand here?
310
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,349
Peck at your mates like Roy Hudd.
311
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,835
- Rod Hull.
- Yeah. Just do that.
312
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:53,673
Good.
313
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,233
Yeah.
314
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,671
- OK. That's fine.
- All right?
315
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:03,954
It's a bit dark. I didn't bring a flash.
Probably won't be able to use these.
316
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,998
- Don't be disappointed.
- No.
317
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,156
- Thank you.
- Cheers.
318
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,239
- Well done, David.
- No worries.
319
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,278
- Did I miss it?
- Yes.
320
00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:29,318
# So what becomes of you, my love,
321
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:35,631
# When they have finally stripped you of
322
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,115
# The handbags and the gladrags
323
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:43,269
# That your granddad had to sweatso you could buy... #
324
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:47,953
Boyakasha.
27821
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