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1
00:00:12,389 --> 00:00:13,807
- Hello, there.
- Hey, there.
2
00:00:14,307 --> 00:00:15,433
- Hi, Ted.
- Howdy.
3
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,851
Hey, Ted. Good luck this weekend.
4
00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:19,312
I appreciate you, Susan.
5
00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:24,484
Hey, Ms. Barnaby. Rough night?
6
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:28,071
Ted, if it's not rough, it isn't fun.
7
00:00:30,490 --> 00:00:31,491
Boy.
8
00:00:32,284 --> 00:00:34,202
- Hiya.
- Hey, fellas. How you doing?
9
00:00:35,287 --> 00:00:37,121
- What's up, Coach?
- There she is.
10
00:00:37,122 --> 00:00:41,375
Hey, wanker. Don't get all cocky
and fuck up that streak you're on.
11
00:00:41,376 --> 00:00:43,002
What streak?
12
00:00:43,003 --> 00:00:45,672
- Go Richmond.
- Yes, sir.
13
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:48,133
Morning.
14
00:00:49,009 --> 00:00:50,010
Hey. How you doing?
15
00:00:55,390 --> 00:00:57,142
- Mom?
- Hey, Teddy.
16
00:01:29,883 --> 00:01:31,759
Don't think the cleaners
actually cleaned the floor.
17
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,302
There are no cleaners.
18
00:01:33,303 --> 00:01:35,095
So, why do we put the chairs
on the tables?
19
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:36,806
The patriarchy.
20
00:01:37,641 --> 00:01:40,518
{\an8}Okay. Oh, well. I'll just go get a broom.
21
00:01:46,483 --> 00:01:47,483
{\an8}Hello.
22
00:01:47,484 --> 00:01:50,819
{\an8}We're not open for another half hour.
Would you care to wait not here?
23
00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:51,904
{\an8}- I'm sorry.
- Okay.
24
00:01:51,905 --> 00:01:52,989
{\an8}No, wait.
25
00:01:53,615 --> 00:01:56,618
{\an8}We're actually here to speak
with Nathan Shelley. He works here, yeah?
26
00:01:57,369 --> 00:01:58,370
No such man exists.
27
00:02:02,415 --> 00:02:03,833
Oh, my God, it's true.
28
00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:07,087
How did you go through your money so fast?
29
00:02:08,087 --> 00:02:09,672
Did you get addicted to the limelight?
30
00:02:09,673 --> 00:02:13,051
What? No. No, I just like working here.
31
00:02:14,594 --> 00:02:16,194
I like spending time with my girlfriend.
32
00:02:17,597 --> 00:02:18,847
She was right there.
33
00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:22,477
- That was my girlfriend. She...
- Okay.
34
00:02:23,478 --> 00:02:24,603
What are you guys doing here?
35
00:02:24,604 --> 00:02:26,356
We want you to come back to Richmond.
36
00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:32,653
- You do?
- Yeah, bruv.
37
00:02:32,654 --> 00:02:35,156
'Cause this shit here is sad as fuck.
38
00:02:36,408 --> 00:02:38,952
{\an8}And all of you? You want me to come...
39
00:02:39,536 --> 00:02:41,746
{\an8}Yeah. It'll be good to have you back.
40
00:02:43,456 --> 00:02:45,749
{\an8}The whole team talked about it,
and it was unanimous.
41
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:46,835
{\an8}Except for Bumbercatch.
42
00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:50,337
Who abstained
because he's passionately antidemocratic.
43
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:51,964
Oh, yeah.
44
00:02:51,965 --> 00:02:53,049
Yeah.
45
00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:56,510
{\an8}So, what? Ted asked you guys
to come here to get me to come back?
46
00:02:56,511 --> 00:02:58,305
No, Ted doesn't know about it.
47
00:02:59,890 --> 00:03:02,016
{\an8}Yeah, no, we wanted to ask you
to see if you wanted to come back
48
00:03:02,017 --> 00:03:03,559
{\an8}before we approached Ted.
49
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:04,977
{\an8}Okay, well, sorry, guys.
50
00:03:04,978 --> 00:03:07,771
{\an8}I don't think it's a good idea
for me to come back to Richmond, so...
51
00:03:07,772 --> 00:03:08,773
{\an8}Thank you though.
52
00:03:12,569 --> 00:03:13,570
{\an8}- Okay.
- Cool.
53
00:03:14,154 --> 00:03:15,822
{\an8}Can I have 75 kebabs to go?
54
00:03:17,073 --> 00:03:19,492
{\an8}Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, of course.
Chicken, pork or lamb?
55
00:03:21,995 --> 00:03:23,872
Or 25 of each?
56
00:03:25,498 --> 00:03:26,398
Nate the Great.
57
00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:28,876
- Yum.
- Okay.
58
00:03:28,877 --> 00:03:30,295
- Nice.
- Hey.
59
00:03:31,421 --> 00:03:32,422
Thank you!
60
00:03:43,016 --> 00:03:44,476
Pretty sparse.
61
00:03:52,901 --> 00:03:55,278
{\an8}What are all these
crazy symbols on your oven dial?
62
00:03:55,904 --> 00:03:59,615
{\an8}Yeah, well, the one with
the line under the nuclear power symbol,
63
00:03:59,616 --> 00:04:01,033
{\an8}that's for making cookies and chicken.
64
00:04:01,034 --> 00:04:04,119
{\an8}The three squiggly lines
let you burn a frozen pizza.
65
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,372
{\an8}And the key symbol there,
that makes the whole thing beep
66
00:04:06,373 --> 00:04:08,290
{\an8}until Beard comes over
and fixes it for me.
67
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:09,542
{\an8}Is everything okay, Mom?
68
00:04:10,168 --> 00:04:11,335
{\an8}Sure. I'm just looking around.
69
00:04:11,336 --> 00:04:14,505
{\an8}No, no. No, I mean, you being here
in London. Is everything okay?
70
00:04:14,506 --> 00:04:16,132
Oh, yeah. Everything's fine.
71
00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:18,092
I just always wanted to see England,
72
00:04:18,093 --> 00:04:20,762
so I booked this trip
as a little Mother's Day gift to myself.
73
00:04:21,346 --> 00:04:24,223
{\an8}Okay. Well, I mean,
how long you been here?
74
00:04:24,224 --> 00:04:26,850
- Just a week.
- A week? Where the heck you staying?
75
00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,602
This adorable little hostel.
76
00:04:28,603 --> 00:04:30,813
{\an8}- Mom...
- Now, I met so many Australians.
77
00:04:30,814 --> 00:04:32,649
{\an8}They are backpacking through Europe.
78
00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:34,692
So much sex.
79
00:04:34,693 --> 00:04:36,443
- Mom.
- No, not me.
80
00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:38,696
- The Australians.
- No, no, I get it. Okay.
81
00:04:38,697 --> 00:04:40,864
How about you stay here
for the rest of your trip, all right?
82
00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:42,408
Only if I'm not a hassle.
83
00:04:42,409 --> 00:04:44,577
You're not a hassle, Mom, okay?
Please stay here.
84
00:04:44,578 --> 00:04:46,203
- Okay.
- Okay, good. All right.
85
00:04:46,204 --> 00:04:49,082
- Now, look, I gotta get to work.
- All righty. Have fun.
86
00:04:51,418 --> 00:04:52,459
{\an8}You wanna tag along?
87
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:55,796
- Well, I don't wanna be in your hair.
- Mom, I want you in my hair. Okay?
88
00:04:55,797 --> 00:04:58,257
I want you in my friends'
and coworkers' hair.
89
00:04:58,258 --> 00:04:59,800
Now, please. Come on with.
90
00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:01,552
- Okay, thank you. I would like that.
- All right, good.
91
00:05:01,553 --> 00:05:03,345
{\an8}You don't have to bring
your suitcase, Mom.
92
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:06,098
{\an8}- Okay. I'll just grab my coat...
- Yeah.
93
00:05:06,099 --> 00:05:10,477
...get my bag,
leave my worries on the doorstep.
94
00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:13,899
{\an8}Yeah, just direct your feet that way,
Mom. Okay.
95
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:22,364
{\an8}Sam,
Richmond have won 15 matches in a row.
96
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,241
{\an8}With two games left,
you're just four points off
97
00:05:24,242 --> 00:05:26,494
{\an8}Manchester City
for the Premier League title.
98
00:05:27,245 --> 00:05:30,916
- Do you have a question?
- Yeah. Am I dreaming?
99
00:05:33,418 --> 00:05:35,586
Well, if you are, please, don't wake up.
100
00:05:35,587 --> 00:05:37,631
And if this is the Matrix,
don't unplug me.
101
00:05:39,925 --> 00:05:41,343
{\an8}Yeah, better Trent.
102
00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:44,136
{\an8}Marcus Adebayo, The Independent.
103
00:05:44,137 --> 00:05:47,139
{\an8}Jamie,
on the heels of making your England debut,
104
00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:49,660
how does it feel to be named
Premier League Player of the Month?
105
00:05:54,314 --> 00:05:56,440
{\an8}Yeah. Yeah. It feels good, I guess.
106
00:05:56,441 --> 00:05:59,443
{\an8}But it's really the team
making me look good.
107
00:05:59,444 --> 00:06:02,697
{\an8}So, I should be doing a better job
of making them look good, really.
108
00:06:04,032 --> 00:06:06,034
So, yeah. Makes me feel bad.
109
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:11,705
Jamie also led the league
in assists this month,
110
00:06:11,706 --> 00:06:14,458
so he's done plenty to make
his teammates look good.
111
00:06:14,459 --> 00:06:16,293
Yeah, but they're the ones
who took all the shots.
112
00:06:16,294 --> 00:06:17,795
{\an8}He also scored a goal.
113
00:06:17,796 --> 00:06:20,298
{\an8}That was meant to be a pass.
You shouldn't count that.
114
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,928
{\an8}That goal is a lie.
It should be retracted from the records.
115
00:06:26,096 --> 00:06:28,682
I apologize to everyone,
especially the kids.
116
00:06:31,142 --> 00:06:34,062
{\an8}Right, let's call it there, everyone.
That was great. Thanks very much.
117
00:06:38,024 --> 00:06:39,693
- Hey, Boss.
- Hello, Ted.
118
00:06:40,277 --> 00:06:42,861
So this morning,
I don't just bring biscuits.
119
00:06:42,862 --> 00:06:45,490
I also have a very special surprise guest.
120
00:06:46,157 --> 00:06:48,492
How exciting.
To whom do I owe the pleasure?
121
00:06:48,493 --> 00:06:50,327
I'm Coach Lasso's new bodyguard.
122
00:06:50,328 --> 00:06:52,539
Please keep your hands
where I can see them.
123
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:54,541
I'm just kidding.
124
00:06:55,208 --> 00:06:57,835
You can keep them well-manicured
mitts of yours wherever you like.
125
00:06:57,836 --> 00:07:00,462
Oh, my God. You're Ted's mother.
126
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,007
Winner, winner, B. F. Skinner.
127
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:06,844
Mom, this is my boss, Rebecca Welton.
Rebecca, this is Dottie Lasso.
128
00:07:06,845 --> 00:07:08,430
Honey, bring that in.
129
00:07:10,348 --> 00:07:13,475
I can't believe I'm finally getting
to meet the woman who created
130
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,311
one of the nicest humans I've ever met.
131
00:07:15,312 --> 00:07:16,770
Oh, no, don't look at me.
132
00:07:16,771 --> 00:07:19,731
This one popped out and immediately
asked the doctor if he needed anything.
133
00:07:20,734 --> 00:07:22,276
That doesn't make any sense.
134
00:07:22,277 --> 00:07:24,987
Babies can't talk and nor do they
understand empathy. And you know...
135
00:07:24,988 --> 00:07:27,448
Dottie... I'm sorry. May I call you Dottie?
136
00:07:27,449 --> 00:07:28,991
Sure, if you want me to respond.
137
00:07:28,992 --> 00:07:31,535
Right. If you'd like,
I'd love to show you around.
138
00:07:31,536 --> 00:07:34,039
I've heard great things
about the Sherlock Holmes Museum.
139
00:07:34,789 --> 00:07:35,915
I mean around the facility.
140
00:07:35,916 --> 00:07:38,584
Even better.
I can't wait to meet Dani Rojas.
141
00:07:38,585 --> 00:07:40,462
And he does not disappoint.
142
00:07:41,630 --> 00:07:43,006
- Shall we?
- Sure.
143
00:07:44,049 --> 00:07:45,675
- Where you from, honey?
- Surrey.
144
00:07:46,301 --> 00:07:47,510
Where are you from?
145
00:07:48,094 --> 00:07:50,597
- Surrey.
- I thought you said "sorry."
146
00:07:56,770 --> 00:07:57,770
So I say,
147
00:07:57,771 --> 00:07:59,730
"Officer, you must be mistaken.
148
00:07:59,731 --> 00:08:03,443
You couldn't have arrested my son.
My son is asleep in his own bed."
149
00:08:04,611 --> 00:08:07,238
Are you sure you do not want
a kebab, Mama Lasso?
150
00:08:07,239 --> 00:08:08,614
Oh, no, thank you, Dani.
151
00:08:08,615 --> 00:08:10,283
You are so polite.
152
00:08:12,035 --> 00:08:13,036
Okay, now bear with me.
153
00:08:14,871 --> 00:08:17,289
It must be so lovely
having your mother visiting, Ted.
154
00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:18,750
Oh, yeah. It's great.
155
00:08:19,376 --> 00:08:21,461
- Oklahoma.
- Oh, no. It's weird.
156
00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:23,170
Didn't tell me she was coming.
157
00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:25,089
Just showed up out of nowhere,
you know, like one of them
158
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:27,968
weird eyebrow hairs I started getting
the day after I turned 40.
159
00:08:29,135 --> 00:08:30,255
That's what mothers do, Ted.
160
00:08:31,972 --> 00:08:35,641
So it turns out my 12-year-old son
was not asleep in his own room.
161
00:08:35,642 --> 00:08:37,893
He had taken our car for a joyride.
162
00:08:37,894 --> 00:08:41,522
Now, he was arrested
for driving on the wrong side of the road,
163
00:08:41,523 --> 00:08:43,817
so I guess he was destined
to live in England.
164
00:08:45,694 --> 00:08:49,071
Now, see, I wasn't 12. I was 15.
And the whole reason we got pulled over
165
00:08:49,072 --> 00:08:52,825
was 'cause Ronnie Fowch was throwing
gang signs at a cop car.
166
00:08:52,826 --> 00:08:55,244
Look, sometimes the truth can ruin
a perfectly good story.
167
00:08:55,245 --> 00:08:56,997
Yeah, you should work for the Daily Mail.
168
00:08:58,498 --> 00:09:01,877
Ted, if you can give your mom
one lovely moment,
169
00:09:02,544 --> 00:09:05,213
you know, a memory to take back home,
then you've won.
170
00:09:07,215 --> 00:09:08,549
Yeah, all right. Thanks, Boss.
171
00:09:08,550 --> 00:09:11,177
Right. I've got to go
and see a man about a horse.
172
00:09:11,845 --> 00:09:14,055
I didn't know girls said that
when they gotta pee.
173
00:09:14,806 --> 00:09:15,974
No, Ted, I'm buying a horse.
174
00:09:20,687 --> 00:09:24,357
Hey, did Teddy ever tell you about
the time he ate a candy bar made of poop?
175
00:09:25,525 --> 00:09:27,151
Okay, okay! All right.
176
00:09:27,152 --> 00:09:29,820
I think that's enough story time
with Mama Lasso, all right, fellas?
177
00:09:29,821 --> 00:09:32,364
Practice starts in twenty minutes.
Up you go.
178
00:09:32,365 --> 00:09:34,408
- Nice to meet you, Mama Lasso.
- Nice to meet you.
179
00:09:34,409 --> 00:09:35,951
Hey, Mom. I'll be right back.
180
00:09:35,952 --> 00:09:38,287
I'm gonna go change,
and then I'll take you out to the pitch.
181
00:09:38,288 --> 00:09:40,123
Okay, honey. I'll be here.
182
00:09:41,207 --> 00:09:44,168
Mrs. Lasso, I just wanted to
introduce myself. I'm Trent Crimm.
183
00:09:44,169 --> 00:09:46,003
- Hello, Trent.
- Hello.
184
00:09:46,004 --> 00:09:48,964
I was wondering if I could
just have a little chat with you about...
185
00:09:48,965 --> 00:09:50,591
Trent, your hair is fabulous.
186
00:09:50,592 --> 00:09:53,053
- It really is. It's just styling.
- Thank you. Thank you.
187
00:09:55,263 --> 00:09:57,307
Van Damme. You still gotta wear that mask?
188
00:09:57,891 --> 00:10:01,269
Yeah, I do, man. Or else I die.
189
00:10:06,066 --> 00:10:09,861
Between wearing that mask and death,
I choose death.
190
00:10:11,279 --> 00:10:15,283
- It does make you look very stupid.
- Oh, well. Thank you, Jan Maas.
191
00:10:19,079 --> 00:10:20,497
You wanna take a crack, Jamie?
192
00:10:22,332 --> 00:10:24,584
I think it's more important
to be safe than to look cool.
193
00:10:30,757 --> 00:10:32,634
Oi! Tartt.
194
00:10:33,343 --> 00:10:35,345
Boot room. Now!
195
00:10:39,766 --> 00:10:42,102
Somebody is in trouble.
196
00:10:43,395 --> 00:10:46,273
No. Shouting is Roy's love language.
197
00:10:54,155 --> 00:10:56,448
All right. Listen up.
198
00:10:56,449 --> 00:11:00,869
This is not the week for your mister
fucking humble, great teammate bullshit.
199
00:11:00,870 --> 00:11:04,623
We got City on Saturday,
so we need you to be the prickiest prick
200
00:11:04,624 --> 00:11:07,001
you've ever been
in your little prick life.
201
00:11:07,002 --> 00:11:09,254
You understand? So I don't want you...
202
00:11:15,093 --> 00:11:16,218
What is wrong?
203
00:11:16,219 --> 00:11:19,221
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
204
00:11:19,222 --> 00:11:21,515
Are you fucking dying or some shit?
205
00:11:21,516 --> 00:11:25,020
No. No. I'm... No. I'm just tired.
206
00:11:25,812 --> 00:11:29,357
But I can't sleep, and I can't eat.
207
00:11:29,941 --> 00:11:32,902
And I wash me hair,
but I don't use any conditioner anymore
208
00:11:32,903 --> 00:11:34,863
'cause I... Like, what's the fucking point?
209
00:11:35,697 --> 00:11:38,365
I feel like the guy
in the Red Bull commercial
210
00:11:38,366 --> 00:11:41,118
who's pushing that big rock up the hill,
211
00:11:41,119 --> 00:11:43,203
but he's lost his wings.
212
00:11:43,204 --> 00:11:47,542
Roy, I feel like...
I feel like I've lost me wings, Roy.
213
00:11:50,754 --> 00:11:52,714
Where the fuck are my wings, Roy?
214
00:12:00,388 --> 00:12:03,683
Fuck.
215
00:12:06,561 --> 00:12:08,271
- Will?
- Yeah?
216
00:12:08,897 --> 00:12:10,273
You missed a good one.
217
00:12:19,407 --> 00:12:20,324
Oh, boy.
218
00:12:20,325 --> 00:12:22,993
...that you've ever
seen. You know, I even...
219
00:12:22,994 --> 00:12:25,704
Oh, my God, Coach.
Our new striker looks just like your mom.
220
00:12:25,705 --> 00:12:26,873
That is my mom.
221
00:12:27,791 --> 00:12:29,960
I know, Ted. That was a joke.
222
00:12:30,877 --> 00:12:33,003
- Right.
- Hey, Ted. Got a sec?
223
00:12:33,004 --> 00:12:34,838
What is time, Higgs boson? What's up?
224
00:12:34,839 --> 00:12:35,965
So, this morning,
225
00:12:35,966 --> 00:12:39,219
a few of my little birdies
went to visit Nathan in his new job,
226
00:12:40,512 --> 00:12:42,930
waiting tables in Tooting.
227
00:12:42,931 --> 00:12:44,557
- Tooting?
- Tooting.
228
00:12:44,558 --> 00:12:46,642
- Did he just say "Tooting"?
- Tooting.
229
00:12:46,643 --> 00:12:49,019
- Y'all got a town here called "Tooting"?
- Tooting, yes.
230
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:50,438
Man, this place is great, right?
231
00:12:51,273 --> 00:12:52,982
Yeah.
Sorry, what were you saying about Nate?
232
00:12:52,983 --> 00:12:57,237
The little birdies are pretty sure
he'd come back if invited.
233
00:12:58,154 --> 00:13:00,197
Uh-huh. Okay. What do you think?
234
00:13:00,198 --> 00:13:02,408
Well, I do believe in second chances, Ted.
235
00:13:02,409 --> 00:13:05,495
That's why I'm still married,
and all my sons are alive.
236
00:13:06,538 --> 00:13:08,831
Hey, Roy. Would it bother you
if we brought Nate back?
237
00:13:08,832 --> 00:13:10,125
No. I don't give a fuck.
238
00:13:10,792 --> 00:13:14,295
He's great at the shit I suck at.
Look, I've gotta go and do something.
239
00:13:14,296 --> 00:13:15,963
Okay. Everything all right?
240
00:13:15,964 --> 00:13:19,091
Yeah. I've just come down with a case
of the "none of your fucking business."
241
00:13:19,092 --> 00:13:21,802
Right, right. Okay. What about you, Coach?
242
00:13:21,803 --> 00:13:23,888
- You all right if Nate comes...
- If you bring that Judas back,
243
00:13:23,889 --> 00:13:26,433
I will burn this place
to the fucking ground.
244
00:13:28,351 --> 00:13:29,560
Ted?
245
00:13:29,561 --> 00:13:32,104
Is it true that you got onstage and danced
with Bruce Springsteen?
246
00:13:32,105 --> 00:13:33,647
No, that was Courteney Cox.
247
00:13:33,648 --> 00:13:36,400
What I did do was sing "Glory Days"
with a Bruce Springsteen cover band
248
00:13:36,401 --> 00:13:38,081
at my friend Scott Cinnamon's bar mitzvah.
249
00:13:39,154 --> 00:13:41,739
It was the bar mitzvah.
That's right. It was the bar mitzvah.
250
00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:43,532
- Is this your mom?
- Yeah.
251
00:13:43,533 --> 00:13:45,868
It is so nice to meet you.
252
00:13:45,869 --> 00:13:47,913
Friends don't shake hands. Friends hug.
253
00:13:49,873 --> 00:13:51,791
- Weirdo Beard-o!
- Lodi Dodi!
254
00:13:52,375 --> 00:13:54,668
Come on, bring it on in. There you go.
255
00:13:54,669 --> 00:13:58,172
- Trent, come along.
- Lodi Dodi, she like to party
256
00:13:58,173 --> 00:14:00,258
She don't cause trouble
Don't bother nobody
257
00:14:01,885 --> 00:14:04,136
- Some of us got a football team to coach!
- Whoo-hoo!
258
00:14:04,137 --> 00:14:06,222
Lodi Dodi, she like to party
259
00:14:06,223 --> 00:14:08,266
She don't cause trouble
Don't bother nobody
260
00:14:18,485 --> 00:14:21,863
Hello. Are you here about the pipes?
261
00:14:22,447 --> 00:14:24,699
No. What's wrong with the pipes?
262
00:14:25,575 --> 00:14:26,785
Nothing.
263
00:14:27,327 --> 00:14:30,167
That's why I thought it was so weird
that you were here about the pipes.
264
00:14:30,997 --> 00:14:34,166
Roy, what are you doing here?
265
00:14:34,167 --> 00:14:35,794
I need to talk.
266
00:14:40,674 --> 00:14:41,508
Roy...
267
00:14:41,509 --> 00:14:44,928
Oh, no. Not about us. I just...
268
00:14:47,305 --> 00:14:48,598
I need your help with Jamie.
269
00:14:49,432 --> 00:14:52,476
He's all fucked in the head.
And I've tried to do it myself,
270
00:14:52,477 --> 00:14:54,604
but it's all that emotional shit
you're good at.
271
00:14:55,105 --> 00:14:58,275
Also... you look nice.
272
00:14:58,858 --> 00:15:00,109
You want my help with Jamie?
273
00:15:00,110 --> 00:15:02,696
Yeah, and you look nice.
274
00:15:07,742 --> 00:15:08,642
Both of you.
275
00:15:10,370 --> 00:15:11,371
Thank you.
276
00:15:12,247 --> 00:15:15,749
This cost two pounds
from a car boot sale, so...
277
00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:17,043
All right.
278
00:15:17,961 --> 00:15:19,337
You know, thank you.
279
00:15:27,846 --> 00:15:30,931
This place is very charming.
280
00:15:30,932 --> 00:15:33,642
Reminds of this Irish bar
I went to in Topeka.
281
00:15:33,643 --> 00:15:35,811
Well, you probably don't wanna
share that with me.
282
00:15:35,812 --> 00:15:37,730
The Irish part or the Topeka part?
283
00:15:37,731 --> 00:15:39,273
Both, really.
284
00:15:39,274 --> 00:15:40,483
No! No!
285
00:15:44,029 --> 00:15:45,155
My turn. Excuse me.
286
00:15:48,909 --> 00:15:54,079
Trying to follow the yellow brick road,
where the dogs of society keep on howling.
287
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:55,039
How's he doing?
288
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:58,043
Well, I'm ahead,
but he's better set up for the multiball.
289
00:15:58,627 --> 00:16:01,213
No, silly pants. How's he doing?
290
00:16:04,299 --> 00:16:05,926
{\an8}Well, he's Ted.
291
00:16:06,426 --> 00:16:07,885
Still running around in circles,
292
00:16:07,886 --> 00:16:12,015
making sure everybody's okay without
accepting a drop of help for himself.
293
00:16:12,599 --> 00:16:14,059
Pretty much. How you doing, Dottie?
294
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:16,269
Don't you worry about me.
295
00:16:16,853 --> 00:16:20,023
Nah, y'all got enough cooking without
putting my troubles on your to-do list.
296
00:16:21,024 --> 00:16:23,234
- Here you go.
- Thank you, Mae.
297
00:16:23,235 --> 00:16:24,319
Cheers, Mae.
298
00:16:25,654 --> 00:16:28,530
Mae, your pub is wonderful.
299
00:16:28,531 --> 00:16:31,159
It's nothing like
that Irish place in Topeka.
300
00:16:32,661 --> 00:16:33,828
I'll take your word for it.
301
00:16:35,705 --> 00:16:38,250
So, you seeing anyone?
302
00:16:39,376 --> 00:16:41,877
Had my heart ripped out of my chest,
stomped into a pulp,
303
00:16:41,878 --> 00:16:44,421
and dragged through the town square
for everyone to ridicule.
304
00:16:44,422 --> 00:16:47,049
Sweetie.
That's okay, you'll meet somebody.
305
00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:48,134
No, I'm in love.
306
00:16:49,719 --> 00:16:52,264
- Here. Wanna see a picture?
- Sure.
307
00:16:53,682 --> 00:16:55,057
Your mum's a peach.
308
00:16:55,058 --> 00:16:57,602
Oh, yeah. I... Thanks.
309
00:16:58,770 --> 00:17:01,814
Here, I'll swap with you. There you are.
310
00:17:01,815 --> 00:17:05,735
You know, Ted, pinball is a lot more fun
if you use an actual ball.
311
00:17:08,487 --> 00:17:12,824
Yeah. Well, I... You know, I was letting
Coach and my mom catch up a little.
312
00:17:12,825 --> 00:17:13,910
That's all.
313
00:17:18,832 --> 00:17:20,917
"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
314
00:17:21,501 --> 00:17:23,503
They may not mean to, but they do.
315
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:30,594
They fill you with the faults they had
and add some extra just for you.
316
00:17:31,678 --> 00:17:34,556
But they were fucked up in their turn
317
00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:38,351
by fools in old-style hats and coats,
318
00:17:39,811 --> 00:17:44,149
who half the time were soppy-stern
and half at one another's throats.
319
00:17:46,693 --> 00:17:49,404
Man hands on misery to man.
320
00:17:49,905 --> 00:17:52,073
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
321
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:58,371
Get out as early as you can
and don't have any kids yourself."
322
00:18:08,256 --> 00:18:11,342
Hey, Ted. Your mum's the bollocks.
323
00:18:11,343 --> 00:18:13,010
We just became friends on Facebook.
324
00:18:13,011 --> 00:18:14,970
I didn't know you were almost
the drummer in Coldplay.
325
00:18:14,971 --> 00:18:16,388
Oh, yeah. It's true. It's true.
326
00:18:16,389 --> 00:18:18,183
It's amazing. It's incredible!
327
00:18:20,518 --> 00:18:21,519
No way.
328
00:18:28,777 --> 00:18:30,736
I can't take your bed, Teddy.
329
00:18:30,737 --> 00:18:33,447
Mom, it's okay, all right?
I'll just sleep on the couch.
330
00:18:33,448 --> 00:18:36,075
- No, I'll sleep on the couch.
- Well, then I'm gonna sleep
331
00:18:36,076 --> 00:18:38,827
on the floor next to the couch,
and neither of us are gonna use the bed.
332
00:18:38,828 --> 00:18:39,871
Please.
333
00:18:40,455 --> 00:18:42,749
- Thank you.
- Okay.
334
00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:46,086
- Not on the bed.
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
335
00:18:46,670 --> 00:18:48,003
Hey, I brought you something.
336
00:18:48,004 --> 00:18:50,381
What? On the off chance
we'd bump into each other?
337
00:18:50,382 --> 00:18:53,009
No, it's your clippings from back home.
338
00:18:58,848 --> 00:19:00,267
I thought you'd want those.
339
00:19:02,936 --> 00:19:04,271
I appreciate it.
340
00:19:05,897 --> 00:19:07,232
So, what's your plan tomorrow?
341
00:19:07,899 --> 00:19:09,733
Yeah, do you wanna come
to Manchester with us?
342
00:19:09,734 --> 00:19:11,277
I don't know.
343
00:19:11,278 --> 00:19:13,779
I mean, coming all the way to England
and not seeing a soccer match
344
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:16,115
is kind of like going to Rome
and not going to church
345
00:19:16,116 --> 00:19:17,316
or getting your pocket picked.
346
00:19:17,909 --> 00:19:20,452
Well, thank you,
but I think I'll just stay here.
347
00:19:20,453 --> 00:19:23,706
I didn't get much sleep last week,
what with all that noisy sex from...
348
00:19:23,707 --> 00:19:25,249
- Not me... the Australians.
- The Australians.
349
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:26,917
- Yes, no, I remember.
- Yeah. Exactly.
350
00:19:26,918 --> 00:19:29,587
And you know how nervous I get
when I'm watching your games.
351
00:19:29,588 --> 00:19:31,422
So I think I'll just stay put
352
00:19:31,423 --> 00:19:34,133
and let you go beat the pants
off those Manchesterians.
353
00:19:34,134 --> 00:19:35,426
Mancunians.
354
00:19:35,427 --> 00:19:38,345
And then I'll have a home-cooked meal
waiting for you when you get back.
355
00:19:38,346 --> 00:19:39,514
It's been too long.
356
00:19:40,098 --> 00:19:43,476
Yeah. No, that'll be nice. Okay.
357
00:19:45,395 --> 00:19:46,955
Well, then I'll see you in the morning.
358
00:19:47,981 --> 00:19:48,982
Hey...
359
00:19:51,318 --> 00:19:54,321
Are you still having those episodes?
360
00:19:55,488 --> 00:19:58,532
- You know.
- The panic attacks.
361
00:19:58,533 --> 00:19:59,743
Yeah.
362
00:20:01,536 --> 00:20:03,622
No, no. Not recently.
363
00:20:05,081 --> 00:20:07,751
You know, I've actually been
talking to this therapist.
364
00:20:08,293 --> 00:20:09,753
Let me guess. It's all my fault.
365
00:20:10,670 --> 00:20:12,839
No, Mom. No, of course not. No, but...
366
00:20:14,674 --> 00:20:16,592
Well, I mean, It's really helped.
367
00:20:16,593 --> 00:20:18,219
Good, good, good, good, good, good.
368
00:20:18,220 --> 00:20:21,222
Yeah. You ever thought
about talking to someone?
369
00:20:21,223 --> 00:20:25,477
Oh, no. That is not my cup of tea.
And you know I love my tea.
370
00:20:28,063 --> 00:20:29,104
Good night, Mom.
371
00:20:29,105 --> 00:20:32,525
Good night, sweetie.
Thank you for the bed.
372
00:20:33,235 --> 00:20:34,236
You're welcome.
373
00:20:49,459 --> 00:20:51,710
Hey, hot dog. Y'all joining us today?
374
00:20:51,711 --> 00:20:54,088
- Well, we're all in this together, Ted.
- Yeah.
375
00:20:54,089 --> 00:20:56,340
I also received
a strongly worded text from Nora
376
00:20:56,341 --> 00:20:58,217
demanding I stop using my private jet.
377
00:20:58,218 --> 00:20:59,301
Why?
378
00:20:59,302 --> 00:21:01,555
- The environment.
- Oh, yeah.
379
00:21:02,138 --> 00:21:04,139
- Goddamn environment.
- Yeah.
380
00:21:04,140 --> 00:21:05,432
Yep.
381
00:21:05,433 --> 00:21:06,518
All right.
382
00:21:12,315 --> 00:21:13,316
Hi.
383
00:21:14,234 --> 00:21:15,819
- Hey.
- How's he doing?
384
00:21:23,493 --> 00:21:25,119
Fucking hell.
385
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:26,246
I'll talk to him.
386
00:21:27,831 --> 00:21:28,832
Right.
387
00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:34,963
Ladies and gentlemen.
Let our journey commence.
388
00:21:37,465 --> 00:21:39,800
Look at Ken.
Boy, he cleans up nice, don't he?
389
00:21:39,801 --> 00:21:41,720
- You should see him in drag.
- Really?
390
00:21:45,265 --> 00:21:47,057
There you go. Well take your time.
391
00:21:47,058 --> 00:21:50,352
And while you wait, do snack on some nuts.
And I'll be back with your drinks.
392
00:21:50,353 --> 00:21:51,353
- All right?
- Thank you.
393
00:21:51,354 --> 00:21:54,815
Hey, hey. Oi, oi, oi.
Do you know who this is?
394
00:21:54,816 --> 00:21:56,276
Your son?
395
00:21:56,860 --> 00:21:58,193
What? No.
396
00:21:58,194 --> 00:21:59,695
Our waiter?
397
00:21:59,696 --> 00:22:03,782
Bloody hell, you two are a right pair.
No, I mean do you know who he was?
398
00:22:03,783 --> 00:22:05,492
I don't know.
399
00:22:05,493 --> 00:22:07,537
Only the manager of West Ham United.
400
00:22:08,914 --> 00:22:11,206
Right. You're the Wonder Kid.
401
00:22:11,207 --> 00:22:13,167
Yes, that's it. I said Wonder Kid.
402
00:22:13,168 --> 00:22:17,254
This man right here went
from kit man to assistant coach,
403
00:22:17,255 --> 00:22:21,635
to manager, to top of the league,
and now he's my head waiter.
404
00:22:22,844 --> 00:22:23,845
I'm so sorry.
405
00:22:24,721 --> 00:22:26,306
Anyway, nice talking to you.
406
00:22:27,057 --> 00:22:29,725
Please try the fish.
We've got a ton of it out back.
407
00:22:29,726 --> 00:22:32,436
- All right. Fish, fish, fish, fish, fish.
- Yep, yep.
408
00:22:32,437 --> 00:22:35,773
Was it drugs? I done drugs. I get it.
409
00:22:35,774 --> 00:22:38,485
No, no. No, I just like working here.
410
00:22:39,444 --> 00:22:41,071
And that's my girlfriend.
411
00:22:43,365 --> 00:22:46,159
Anyway, enjoy the nuts.
I'll go and get your drinks, okay?
412
00:22:47,953 --> 00:22:49,119
Definitely drugs.
413
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:50,372
Oh, yeah. Definitely.
414
00:22:51,373 --> 00:22:52,540
But which ones?
415
00:23:13,979 --> 00:23:15,104
Hi.
416
00:23:15,105 --> 00:23:16,231
Hey.
417
00:23:17,315 --> 00:23:18,215
Can I come in?
418
00:23:18,733 --> 00:23:19,609
Yeah, yeah. Sure.
419
00:23:19,610 --> 00:23:21,945
Come in. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, what's up, yeah?
420
00:23:24,155 --> 00:23:25,995
I just wanted to come
and see how you're doing.
421
00:23:27,617 --> 00:23:28,517
Roy told you.
422
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,455
Well, he's worried about you.
Is that okay?
423
00:23:33,248 --> 00:23:34,957
Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.
424
00:23:34,958 --> 00:23:37,626
I'm fine. I'm good. I'm great.
425
00:23:37,627 --> 00:23:41,256
In fact,
I think I'm the best that I've ever been.
426
00:23:42,007 --> 00:23:43,008
You know?
427
00:23:45,802 --> 00:23:49,222
There's something so sad about a suitcase.
Do you know what I mean? It's like...
428
00:23:51,516 --> 00:23:54,686
It's like a drawer without a home.
429
00:23:58,189 --> 00:24:00,817
Hey, Jamie. Look at me.
430
00:24:01,568 --> 00:24:04,904
- You've got a lot going on right now.
- There's a lot going on, yeah.
431
00:24:04,905 --> 00:24:07,782
This is the first time you've played
back home since you left.
432
00:24:09,075 --> 00:24:10,367
The crowd's gonna hate you.
433
00:24:10,368 --> 00:24:13,913
And the person who's gonna be booing
the loudest in the crowd is your dad.
434
00:24:13,914 --> 00:24:15,539
I didn't think of that. Yeah.
435
00:24:15,540 --> 00:24:18,042
And I know a lot of people
are shit-talking your hair online.
436
00:24:18,043 --> 00:24:20,961
- They're what?
- No! Think about it.
437
00:24:20,962 --> 00:24:22,630
If you guys win tomorrow,
438
00:24:22,631 --> 00:24:26,717
then you will be on the precipice
of achieving everything
439
00:24:26,718 --> 00:24:27,969
that you've ever dreamed of.
440
00:24:29,721 --> 00:24:31,180
- Oh, my God.
- Shit!
441
00:24:31,181 --> 00:24:32,307
Sorry, Jamie.
442
00:24:51,618 --> 00:24:52,619
Here.
443
00:24:53,620 --> 00:24:54,621
Cheers.
444
00:24:56,081 --> 00:24:57,373
How'd it go with Jamie?
445
00:24:57,374 --> 00:24:59,292
Yeah, I fucked it. I made it worse.
446
00:24:59,918 --> 00:25:01,920
Shit.
447
00:25:03,755 --> 00:25:04,838
Hello, Roy and Keeley.
448
00:25:04,839 --> 00:25:08,217
Good to see you both
next to each other like before.
449
00:25:08,218 --> 00:25:11,429
No.
We're just sitting together as friends.
450
00:25:11,930 --> 00:25:13,330
Yeah, and she just looks very nice.
451
00:25:14,975 --> 00:25:16,518
Nora Ephron.
452
00:25:17,102 --> 00:25:19,186
- I'm saying my apology.
- Who?
453
00:25:19,187 --> 00:25:20,605
Carl Bernstein's ex.
454
00:25:38,748 --> 00:25:43,753
Don't cry, Shop Girl. Don't cry.
455
00:25:47,382 --> 00:25:48,800
I wanted it to be you.
456
00:25:51,261 --> 00:25:54,347
I wanted it to be you so badly.
457
00:26:19,664 --> 00:26:22,166
I mean, Sleepless in Seattle is still
a far superior film.
458
00:26:22,167 --> 00:26:23,585
- Not now.
- I'm just saying.
459
00:26:29,799 --> 00:26:30,800
Whoo!
460
00:26:33,303 --> 00:26:35,888
All right. Listen up, you big softies.
461
00:26:35,889 --> 00:26:38,682
10:00 p.m., lights out.
Then get yourselves some beauty sleep
462
00:26:38,683 --> 00:26:40,392
for tomorrow's big meet-cute
with Man City,
463
00:26:40,393 --> 00:26:41,518
- you hear?
- Whoo!
464
00:26:41,519 --> 00:26:43,187
All right, "Ephron" on three.
One, two, three!
465
00:26:43,188 --> 00:26:44,731
- Ephron!
- There you go.
466
00:26:45,565 --> 00:26:47,066
- That was Dave Chappelle.
- Yeah.
467
00:26:47,067 --> 00:26:48,984
Not bad, yeah?
Hey, y'all seen that before?
468
00:26:48,985 --> 00:26:51,028
- First time? First time, yeah?
- First time.
469
00:26:51,029 --> 00:26:52,446
It's a goody. It was a goody.
470
00:26:52,447 --> 00:26:55,200
You gotta see Sleepless in Seattle,
though. You know, this is why...
471
00:28:15,405 --> 00:28:16,572
The fuck is he?
472
00:28:16,573 --> 00:28:17,949
I don't know. You've lost him.
473
00:28:18,450 --> 00:28:21,077
- You said he went down here.
- I did not. You said that.
474
00:28:21,828 --> 00:28:23,370
No. I said he's in a tunnel,
475
00:28:23,371 --> 00:28:26,531
- I didn't say he was in this tunnel.
- Well, there's no other tunnel, is there?
476
00:28:26,791 --> 00:28:29,043
I don't believe it.
You've lost Jamie Tartt.
477
00:28:29,044 --> 00:28:31,463
- You can't lose Jamie Tartt.
- Well, you have.
478
00:28:32,130 --> 00:28:34,340
- Fucking hell!
- Why are you following me?
479
00:28:34,341 --> 00:28:36,426
Just wanted to make sure you're okay,
you prick.
480
00:28:37,510 --> 00:28:40,180
What's going on, Jamie?
Are you buying drugs?
481
00:28:43,892 --> 00:28:44,976
Come on.
482
00:28:55,278 --> 00:28:57,447
- Are you joking? Oi!
- How'd you miss?
483
00:28:59,157 --> 00:29:01,743
- Are you Jamie Tartt?
- Yeah.
484
00:29:02,369 --> 00:29:03,452
More like Jamie Fart.
485
00:29:03,453 --> 00:29:06,163
- Screw you, dickhead! Prick!
- Yeah, who are you?
486
00:29:06,164 --> 00:29:07,873
City's gonna fuck you up tomorrow.
487
00:29:07,874 --> 00:29:09,708
Yeah, you spaz. You little twat!
488
00:29:09,709 --> 00:29:11,919
- Yeah, it's not for you, pussy!
- Yeah, go on!
489
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:13,921
- Walk. Bye!
- Bye.
490
00:29:13,922 --> 00:29:15,340
I smell your bum from here.
491
00:29:19,886 --> 00:29:21,053
Good lads.
492
00:29:21,054 --> 00:29:23,264
Oh, my gosh!
493
00:29:23,265 --> 00:29:24,932
- That was sick!
- Come on!
494
00:29:24,933 --> 00:29:27,269
- Yes, yes!
- Yeah! Come on!
495
00:29:31,982 --> 00:29:34,900
Hey! Jamie!
496
00:29:34,901 --> 00:29:36,151
How you doing, Simon?
497
00:29:36,152 --> 00:29:39,154
- This is Keeley, that's Roy.
- Come on in, come on in.
498
00:29:39,155 --> 00:29:41,615
- How are you, mate? Good seeing you, man.
- Yeah, great.
499
00:29:41,616 --> 00:29:42,659
- Hi!
- Hello.
500
00:29:43,243 --> 00:29:44,244
Hello.
501
00:29:45,829 --> 00:29:47,789
Georgie, we've got visitors.
502
00:29:48,290 --> 00:29:50,500
What was that, love? Someone at the door?
503
00:29:54,254 --> 00:29:55,255
Hello, Mommy.
504
00:29:56,923 --> 00:29:58,550
Jamie!
505
00:29:59,384 --> 00:30:02,887
Mommy, I'd like to introduce you
to Keeley, and this hairy prick's Roy.
506
00:30:02,888 --> 00:30:04,638
- Hi.
- Hey, you.
507
00:30:04,639 --> 00:30:07,391
Hi! It's lovely to finally meet you both.
508
00:30:07,392 --> 00:30:09,912
I'd come and give you a hug,
but I'm not letting go of this one.
509
00:30:12,314 --> 00:30:13,315
There they go.
510
00:30:13,815 --> 00:30:16,108
Right, who wants some sweet treats?
511
00:30:16,109 --> 00:30:18,528
Look at your gorgeous face. I love it.
512
00:30:19,237 --> 00:30:21,698
- How have you been? Look at you.
- Mom. You look...
513
00:30:23,617 --> 00:30:26,786
It was just poopy.
You know, it really upset me.
514
00:30:27,579 --> 00:30:30,789
This guy on Twitter,
he kept saying that it was blonde,
515
00:30:30,790 --> 00:30:34,168
but I'm like,
"It's fucking walnut mist, mate."
516
00:30:34,169 --> 00:30:36,003
- Yeah, obviously.
- Yeah.
517
00:30:36,004 --> 00:30:38,089
He's done a lovely job. It's dead natural.
518
00:30:41,801 --> 00:30:44,137
- What do you think?
- It's really yummy.
519
00:30:45,055 --> 00:30:47,974
- Hey.
- It's fucking delicious.
520
00:30:48,642 --> 00:30:52,479
Well, it's a Paul Hollywood recipe,
but I've gone a little bit rogue on it.
521
00:30:53,188 --> 00:30:54,481
- Right.
- Babes,
522
00:30:55,065 --> 00:30:57,234
do you wanna give Roy and Keeley
the grand tour?
523
00:30:57,734 --> 00:30:58,901
Show them around a bit.
524
00:30:58,902 --> 00:31:01,404
Yes! Good idea. Thank... Oops!
525
00:31:02,781 --> 00:31:05,867
Right, follow me. We will start
in the kitchen, aka my laboratory.
526
00:31:06,743 --> 00:31:09,663
I've just got a new bain-marie,
and it's copperplated.
527
00:31:10,247 --> 00:31:12,624
Wow. What does that mean?
It sounds expensive.
528
00:31:17,462 --> 00:31:20,632
Have you ever considered doing
a happy hour at the Taste of Athens?
529
00:31:21,466 --> 00:31:24,843
I've literally never thought about work
the second after leaving work.
530
00:31:24,844 --> 00:31:26,471
Or even while there, really.
531
00:31:33,144 --> 00:31:34,896
I don't think you should work
there anymore.
532
00:31:35,772 --> 00:31:37,607
Why? I'm a great waiter.
533
00:31:38,108 --> 00:31:41,319
Yes.
It's weird how great of a waiter you are.
534
00:31:44,447 --> 00:31:47,367
But you're a coach.
They want you back at Richmond.
535
00:31:48,660 --> 00:31:49,786
You should go.
536
00:31:53,039 --> 00:31:55,500
Thing is, it didn't really end
too well for me there.
537
00:31:56,167 --> 00:32:00,463
I think a lot of that was my fault.
Well, it was all my fault.
538
00:32:02,132 --> 00:32:04,425
Look, after this season,
I'll try and get another coaching job,
539
00:32:04,426 --> 00:32:06,636
just not at Richmond, okay?
540
00:32:08,805 --> 00:32:11,766
I will. I promise. I just... Yeah.
541
00:32:16,396 --> 00:32:18,940
Yeah? You hungry? Do you want food?
542
00:32:21,151 --> 00:32:24,029
Dunno. Can I have some nuts
while I think about it?
543
00:32:25,363 --> 00:32:27,115
Right. Where are they?
544
00:32:28,074 --> 00:32:30,410
Here's the genius behind the nuts, okay?
545
00:32:31,411 --> 00:32:34,204
They make people thirsty. Yeah?
546
00:32:34,205 --> 00:32:39,169
I'm giving away, what, five p on nuts
and taking in five quid on beer.
547
00:32:39,711 --> 00:32:41,630
That's smart. Right?
548
00:32:42,631 --> 00:32:44,674
Why am I the only person
thinking about this stuff?
549
00:32:46,801 --> 00:32:47,802
You doing all right?
550
00:32:49,512 --> 00:32:51,848
Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine.
551
00:32:55,143 --> 00:32:56,144
Okay.
552
00:32:58,521 --> 00:33:01,441
Come on. Out with it.
553
00:33:07,614 --> 00:33:08,615
You heard from Dad?
554
00:33:09,574 --> 00:33:10,659
No.
555
00:33:11,493 --> 00:33:13,828
Haven't heard from that
human ball sack in ages.
556
00:33:15,830 --> 00:33:16,831
You?
557
00:33:17,999 --> 00:33:19,251
No, not since Wembley.
558
00:33:24,130 --> 00:33:27,008
Thought I was finally rid of him, but...
559
00:33:31,388 --> 00:33:33,765
...I always did what I did...
560
00:33:36,643 --> 00:33:38,978
because fuck him, you know?
561
00:33:38,979 --> 00:33:42,190
And now that I don't give a shit
about him, it's like...
562
00:33:49,281 --> 00:33:52,033
You know when some guys
can't make their willies go hard?
563
00:33:53,368 --> 00:33:54,494
You mean impotent?
564
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,122
Yeah. It's like I got that, but...
565
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,626
but it's like I got it in...
566
00:34:04,504 --> 00:34:06,047
It's like I got it in my soul.
567
00:34:12,804 --> 00:34:17,809
And here is the main attraction.
Jamie's room.
568
00:34:27,443 --> 00:34:30,362
- Fucking hell.
- Yes.
569
00:34:30,363 --> 00:34:32,864
Many posters have come and gone
over the years.
570
00:34:32,865 --> 00:34:35,327
Henry, Gerrard, Ronaldo.
571
00:34:36,369 --> 00:34:38,454
But Roy Kent always remains.
572
00:34:40,749 --> 00:34:42,334
Meat pies are done. Excuse me.
573
00:34:46,296 --> 00:34:47,963
Fucking hell.
574
00:34:50,342 --> 00:34:51,343
Jamie...
575
00:34:54,637 --> 00:34:58,975
your father, he is who he is.
576
00:35:01,019 --> 00:35:04,564
And he is never, ever, ever gonna change.
577
00:35:06,816 --> 00:35:07,943
And like it or not,
578
00:35:08,443 --> 00:35:11,696
you've ended up being who you are
so that you can prove him wrong.
579
00:35:15,408 --> 00:35:16,660
And you are amazing.
580
00:35:20,372 --> 00:35:21,748
You are.
581
00:35:27,254 --> 00:35:29,047
When you come on for England...
582
00:35:32,968 --> 00:35:35,220
Jesus, Jamie, I wept.
583
00:35:37,013 --> 00:35:38,848
I bawled me fucking eyes out.
584
00:35:44,938 --> 00:35:49,483
And, yeah,
your dad will be in the stands tomorrow,
585
00:35:49,484 --> 00:35:51,861
pissed out of his head,
rooting against you.
586
00:35:54,698 --> 00:35:55,949
And it won't matter.
587
00:36:00,453 --> 00:36:03,039
You don't have anything to prove
to that toerag.
588
00:36:11,673 --> 00:36:15,802
You're not lost, my sexy little baby.
589
00:36:19,598 --> 00:36:24,144
You're just not sure
which direction you're going in yet.
590
00:36:38,325 --> 00:36:40,952
This is fucking weird.
591
00:36:42,495 --> 00:36:45,665
There's a lot of weird to choose from.
Can you be more specific?
592
00:36:48,877 --> 00:36:49,878
You and me...
593
00:36:52,339 --> 00:36:54,758
sitting on Jamie Tartt's childhood bed...
594
00:36:57,052 --> 00:37:00,680
being all fucking concerned
about him and shit.
595
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:08,104
Yeah. Good on us, Roy-o.
596
00:37:09,314 --> 00:37:10,482
Thanks, bud.
597
00:37:10,982 --> 00:37:12,567
You're welcome, pal.
598
00:37:16,446 --> 00:37:17,656
I don't wanna be friends.
599
00:37:19,783 --> 00:37:22,619
- You don't?
- Uh-uh.
600
00:37:23,870 --> 00:37:27,249
I don't wanna be just friends.
601
00:37:37,342 --> 00:37:38,717
Roy...
602
00:37:38,718 --> 00:37:40,478
Well, guys,
I think we should probably get...
603
00:37:44,891 --> 00:37:46,017
- You good to go?
- Yeah.
604
00:37:47,018 --> 00:37:48,019
Yeah.
605
00:37:48,812 --> 00:37:49,813
Right.
606
00:38:00,740 --> 00:38:02,157
- I love you.
- I love you.
607
00:38:02,158 --> 00:38:04,202
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you too.
608
00:38:04,786 --> 00:38:05,953
Right.
609
00:38:05,954 --> 00:38:07,413
Hey, listen to me.
610
00:38:07,414 --> 00:38:10,207
I don't care
if you lose by ten goals tomorrow.
611
00:38:10,208 --> 00:38:12,836
I just want you to be happy. Okay, Son?
612
00:38:13,795 --> 00:38:16,256
Okay. Love you, Mommy.
613
00:38:17,173 --> 00:38:18,300
I love you.
614
00:38:19,759 --> 00:38:22,177
- See you soon.
- See you soon. All right, come on.
615
00:38:22,178 --> 00:38:24,306
- Off you go. Go home.
- All right. Bye.
616
00:38:25,098 --> 00:38:26,516
It was great to meet you.
617
00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:28,225
Bye.
618
00:38:28,226 --> 00:38:30,978
- One for the road.
- This way, babe.
619
00:38:30,979 --> 00:38:33,064
See you later. Love... Love you.
620
00:38:39,195 --> 00:38:42,198
We should go and have cocktails.
621
00:38:51,207 --> 00:38:55,253
...the latest in workout technology
like yoga mats!
622
00:38:56,296 --> 00:38:59,131
Manchester has much to offer
when it comes to arts and culture,
623
00:38:59,132 --> 00:39:02,302
{\an8}including the Greater Manchester
Police Museum!
624
00:39:03,470 --> 00:39:06,889
The rainy city is also known
as well for science and technology,
625
00:39:06,890 --> 00:39:10,476
{\an8}for it was right here in 1917
626
00:39:10,477 --> 00:39:14,272
{\an8}that
Ernest Rutherford first split the atom.
627
00:39:15,148 --> 00:39:19,235
{\an8}And you'll split your sides laughing
at Manchester's many comedy clubs
628
00:39:19,236 --> 00:39:23,030
{\an8}and improvised murder mystery
dinner theaters. And, of course
629
00:39:23,031 --> 00:39:27,243
your trip wouldn't be complete
without heading to Etihad Stadium,
630
00:39:27,244 --> 00:39:31,664
- home of the Manchester...
- Blue moon
631
00:39:31,665 --> 00:39:38,170
You saw me standing alone
632
00:39:38,171 --> 00:39:44,969
{\an8}Without a dream in my heart
633
00:39:44,970 --> 00:39:51,017
Without a love of my own
634
00:39:53,436 --> 00:39:58,774
I said, blue moon
You saw me standing alone
635
00:39:58,775 --> 00:40:03,279
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own...
636
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:06,700
Richmond should have a classic old song
for our fans to sing.
637
00:40:07,409 --> 00:40:11,245
We did. When Freddie Mercury
briefly owned the team in 1980,
638
00:40:11,246 --> 00:40:13,873
he tried to make "Fat Bottomed Girls"
the team anthem.
639
00:40:14,541 --> 00:40:17,293
- Didn't work out.
- Did a bunch of people get offended?
640
00:40:17,294 --> 00:40:19,795
Just the flat-bottomed girls really.
641
00:40:19,796 --> 00:40:21,046
Yeah.
642
00:40:21,047 --> 00:40:23,382
My father went to art school
with Freddie Mercury.
643
00:40:23,383 --> 00:40:24,758
What?
644
00:40:24,759 --> 00:40:29,305
I mean, everyone always talks
about his amazing four-octave vocal range.
645
00:40:29,306 --> 00:40:31,307
But my father always insisted
646
00:40:31,308 --> 00:40:34,894
that if you actually asked Freddie
what his greatest talent was,
647
00:40:34,895 --> 00:40:36,813
he would've said flipping straights.
648
00:40:38,815 --> 00:40:41,568
- Come on, Richmond!
- You lads still have a way!
649
00:40:44,654 --> 00:40:46,488
Hey! Hey!
650
00:40:46,489 --> 00:40:49,366
Hey, thanks for saving us a seat.
How long have you been waiting?
651
00:40:49,367 --> 00:40:51,076
Mae let me sleep here last night.
652
00:40:51,077 --> 00:40:53,914
- How many beers do you want?
- Three, Mae.
653
00:40:54,581 --> 00:40:58,001
How many beers do you want
if you can't order again before halftime?
654
00:40:58,668 --> 00:40:59,794
- Twelve.
- Twelve.
655
00:41:00,378 --> 00:41:04,048
Welcome, everyone. Today,
Manchester City hosts AFC Richmond.
656
00:41:04,049 --> 00:41:09,178
A first-ever win at the Etihad Stadium
for the Greyhounds, however unlikely,
657
00:41:09,179 --> 00:41:12,056
leaves the door open next week
for Ted Lasso's men
658
00:41:12,057 --> 00:41:15,726
{\an8}to complete the Cinderella story
their fans have been dreaming of.
659
00:41:15,727 --> 00:41:17,311
There he is. Look at him.
660
00:41:17,312 --> 00:41:19,688
The City faithful
are letting Jamie Tartt know
661
00:41:19,689 --> 00:41:24,151
how they feel about their former player
who left them for reality television.
662
00:41:24,152 --> 00:41:25,779
Welcome home, dickhead!
663
00:41:26,821 --> 00:41:29,574
Perhaps not the homecoming
he might have dreamt of.
664
00:41:30,867 --> 00:41:31,784
Oh, boy.
665
00:41:31,785 --> 00:41:35,496
Come on, Son. That's it, that's it.
Fucking bastards.
666
00:41:35,497 --> 00:41:38,040
City can clinch the title
with a win today.
667
00:41:38,041 --> 00:41:41,377
A loss makes things
very interesting next week.
668
00:41:41,378 --> 00:41:45,507
We find out in 90 minutes that starts now.
669
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:52,763
Clattered!
670
00:41:52,764 --> 00:41:55,058
Tartt can expect a lot of that today.
671
00:42:03,191 --> 00:42:06,820
Here are some complimentary nuts.
And I'll be back to get your drinks. Okay?
672
00:42:07,529 --> 00:42:11,199
Physical play from City
as Tartt pushes Richmond forward.
673
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:14,953
- Tartt has options.
- Colin's open.
674
00:42:17,205 --> 00:42:19,373
A nifty move finds Bumbercatch.
675
00:42:19,374 --> 00:42:22,085
The Swiss crosses to the far post. Hughes!
676
00:42:22,711 --> 00:42:24,420
- The match has barely begun...
- Yes.
677
00:42:24,421 --> 00:42:29,466
...and the Welshman fires the Greyhounds
into the lead with a commanding header.
678
00:42:29,467 --> 00:42:30,885
There we go.
679
00:42:30,886 --> 00:42:34,388
That goal was all down to Tartt.
He's seeing two passes ahead.
680
00:42:34,389 --> 00:42:37,516
Brilliant play indeed
from the unsinkable Jamie Tartt.
681
00:42:37,517 --> 00:42:42,314
Colin Hughes with the exclamation point,
and Richmond leads 1-nil.
682
00:42:48,361 --> 00:42:49,362
Yes!
683
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:52,615
Leslie, what you doing?
684
00:42:52,616 --> 00:42:55,326
I'll celebrate
when the final whistle has blown.
685
00:42:55,327 --> 00:42:57,120
I don't wanna move and jinx it.
686
00:42:58,413 --> 00:42:59,414
Okay.
687
00:43:03,752 --> 00:43:05,961
With the great Pep Guardiola
at the controls,
688
00:43:05,962 --> 00:43:09,173
rest assured,
City won't be quaking in their boots.
689
00:43:09,174 --> 00:43:11,967
What's this sharp-dressed son of a gun
got cookin' now, huh?
690
00:43:11,968 --> 00:43:13,052
Go.
691
00:43:13,053 --> 00:43:15,554
We know Pep will make
the right adjustments. He always does.
692
00:43:15,555 --> 00:43:16,640
Hold on tight.
693
00:43:17,349 --> 00:43:18,474
All right! Here we go!
694
00:43:18,475 --> 00:43:22,771
Halftime approaches, and the
Premier League title remains undecided.
695
00:43:24,314 --> 00:43:27,400
Jamie Tartt's hometown fans
are still letting him have it.
696
00:43:28,443 --> 00:43:31,278
City continuing to target
Richmond's number nine.
697
00:43:31,279 --> 00:43:34,074
Case in point,
as Tartt is knocked off the ball.
698
00:43:38,119 --> 00:43:39,995
And here comes City.
699
00:43:39,996 --> 00:43:44,042
De Villardi shoots!
Van Damme makes a terrific save.
700
00:43:46,586 --> 00:43:50,173
City making Tartt fight
for every inch out there.
701
00:43:52,425 --> 00:43:55,010
Piss off back down South, pretty boy!
702
00:43:55,011 --> 00:43:58,223
Tough crowd, Jamie Tartt. Tough crowd.
703
00:43:58,807 --> 00:44:00,307
We're in the 65th minute.
704
00:44:00,308 --> 00:44:03,602
And since Richmond's early goal,
it's been one-way traffic.
705
00:44:03,603 --> 00:44:08,441
City asking plenty of questions,
but so far Richmond are not listening.
706
00:44:10,986 --> 00:44:13,113
Oh, a sliver of space for De Villardi.
707
00:44:13,697 --> 00:44:15,531
Is this the equalizer?
708
00:44:15,532 --> 00:44:19,493
No! A swashbuckling save
by the masked Canadian.
709
00:44:19,494 --> 00:44:20,953
Van damn he's been good today!
710
00:44:20,954 --> 00:44:22,329
Come on!
711
00:44:22,330 --> 00:44:23,414
Yeah!
712
00:44:23,415 --> 00:44:25,874
Nearing the 80-minute mark,
713
00:44:25,875 --> 00:44:27,555
Richmond are defending
their one-goal lead.
714
00:44:29,421 --> 00:44:31,255
{\an8}Ndour takes the corner.
715
00:44:31,256 --> 00:44:34,508
{\an8}Van Damme races off his line to punch,
but it finds Elokobi.
716
00:44:34,509 --> 00:44:36,260
{\an8}De Villardi has an open goal.
717
00:44:36,261 --> 00:44:39,431
{\an8}- Jamie Tartt soars to clear the danger!
- Yes, Jamie!
718
00:44:40,932 --> 00:44:41,933
Yes, Jamie!
719
00:44:42,601 --> 00:44:46,354
Oh, no. It looks like Tartt
is in quite a bit of pain.
720
00:44:46,938 --> 00:44:48,147
It's his ankle, Arlo.
721
00:44:48,148 --> 00:44:51,067
- He landed on it wrong.
- Get up, you soft prick!
722
00:44:53,695 --> 00:44:54,695
Come on.
723
00:44:54,696 --> 00:44:56,031
Is he okay?
724
00:44:56,531 --> 00:44:57,532
Let's go.
725
00:45:00,327 --> 00:45:01,453
Roberts! Get warm.
726
00:45:01,953 --> 00:45:03,753
- I'm good, good. Go, bro. Go, go.
- You good?
727
00:45:07,334 --> 00:45:10,211
Now, hold on. He's up,
he's up, he's up. Okay.
728
00:45:10,212 --> 00:45:12,087
It appears he'll give it a go.
729
00:45:12,088 --> 00:45:15,799
Good news for Richmond, who
can ill afford to play without their star.
730
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:18,136
Not with this much at stake.
731
00:45:24,684 --> 00:45:26,101
We may have spoken too soon, Chris.
732
00:45:26,102 --> 00:45:30,481
Tartt tried to soldier on, but now he's in
some distress and may require attention.
733
00:45:30,482 --> 00:45:31,566
Oh, my God.
734
00:45:38,114 --> 00:45:39,157
Up you go.
735
00:45:40,033 --> 00:45:41,201
Get you on the walk.
736
00:45:41,785 --> 00:45:43,453
Fudge.
737
00:45:50,877 --> 00:45:52,127
- We're finished. We're done.
- Come on.
738
00:45:52,128 --> 00:45:53,838
- We're done.
- Come on, James.
739
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,009
Roberts! You're going in.
740
00:45:59,010 --> 00:46:00,636
Whoa, hold on, hold on. Hey, hey,
741
00:46:00,637 --> 00:46:02,437
hey, don't hop out there
quite yet, Tan, okay?
742
00:46:02,931 --> 00:46:05,611
- Coach, we're a man down.
- I know, Coach. Just give me one second.
743
00:46:06,768 --> 00:46:08,895
Hey, Jamie, are you sure
you can't get back out there?
744
00:46:10,230 --> 00:46:11,438
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
745
00:46:11,439 --> 00:46:12,731
No.
746
00:46:12,732 --> 00:46:14,233
- Hey, Coach!
- Yeah.
747
00:46:14,234 --> 00:46:15,609
You wanna play with ten men?
748
00:46:15,610 --> 00:46:18,280
Heck yeah! Right?
749
00:46:18,989 --> 00:46:20,782
We're just gonna wait and see, okay?
750
00:46:21,700 --> 00:46:23,325
And we'll check in on you, all right?
751
00:46:23,326 --> 00:46:26,538
You two, do me a favor. Heal him.
Use all your tricks, please.
752
00:46:28,206 --> 00:46:30,708
Okay. Yeah.
We're gonna give him a couple minutes.
753
00:46:30,709 --> 00:46:33,586
- He's gonna be fine. Here we go. Come on!
- Ted Lasso elects to wait,
754
00:46:33,587 --> 00:46:37,132
leaving ten Greyhounds
against City's mighty 11.
755
00:46:37,757 --> 00:46:39,633
City looking for the equalizer.
756
00:46:39,634 --> 00:46:42,888
And Orellano shoots.
Van Damme is there! And there again!
757
00:46:44,180 --> 00:46:45,472
And again!
758
00:46:45,473 --> 00:46:48,893
There's just no penetrating
the mask of Van Damme!
759
00:46:48,894 --> 00:46:51,228
With his team facing relentless pressure,
760
00:46:51,229 --> 00:46:53,022
Ted Lasso is gambling with each
761
00:46:53,023 --> 00:46:55,274
- passing second he plays with a man down.
- I'm gonna need a word, Nate.
762
00:46:55,275 --> 00:46:56,650
- In my office, yeah?
- Yeah.
763
00:46:56,651 --> 00:46:59,278
I love gambling. Makes me feel alive.
764
00:46:59,279 --> 00:47:01,573
You should probably talk
to somebody about that, Chris.
765
00:47:02,741 --> 00:47:05,243
Hello, mate. Come in. Take a seat.
766
00:47:06,244 --> 00:47:07,162
Here we go.
767
00:47:11,541 --> 00:47:12,834
Am I getting promoted?
768
00:47:13,543 --> 00:47:14,753
Nate, I gotta let you go.
769
00:47:16,922 --> 00:47:19,173
- Was it 'cause I was watching telly?
- No.
770
00:47:19,174 --> 00:47:20,507
I'm not pushing desserts hard enough?
771
00:47:20,508 --> 00:47:22,927
No, no, no. It's nothing you've done.
772
00:47:22,928 --> 00:47:27,807
You're my top man. You're on time,
you don't steal, you're sober.
773
00:47:28,308 --> 00:47:30,560
You're like my little unicorn.
You know what I mean?
774
00:47:31,311 --> 00:47:35,564
And it breaks my heart to say this,
but Jade said if I didn't fire you,
775
00:47:35,565 --> 00:47:37,067
she was gonna report me to the...
776
00:47:37,984 --> 00:47:40,069
Well, I can't say who,
because then you'd know what I've done.
777
00:47:40,070 --> 00:47:43,782
But my hands are tied. You gotta go.
778
00:47:46,451 --> 00:47:47,452
Yeah.
779
00:47:55,210 --> 00:47:56,460
Yeah!
780
00:47:56,461 --> 00:47:58,212
Chris,
Richmond aren't playing with a keeper.
781
00:47:58,213 --> 00:48:00,297
They've got a brick wall
in front of the goal.
782
00:48:00,298 --> 00:48:03,217
No, Arlo, that's a person.
I can see his arms and legs.
783
00:48:03,218 --> 00:48:04,760
And his hideous mask.
784
00:48:04,761 --> 00:48:08,347
It seems like it's only
a matter of time before City equalize.
785
00:48:08,348 --> 00:48:11,559
That's all they need
to clinch the league title today.
786
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,562
Hey, Coach,
I don't want Jamie to play hurt.
787
00:48:14,062 --> 00:48:15,479
But we gotta make a decision here.
788
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:16,939
Personally,
I'm fine with him playing hurt.
789
00:48:16,940 --> 00:48:18,148
I played hurt all the time.
790
00:48:18,149 --> 00:48:19,608
You can't walk up stairs.
791
00:48:19,609 --> 00:48:22,070
Okay. Let me go check, all right?
792
00:48:23,572 --> 00:48:25,574
Thanks, y'all. Thank you.
793
00:48:28,326 --> 00:48:29,828
What you looking for up there, Jamie?
794
00:48:30,412 --> 00:48:33,581
Looking for my dad. I can't find him.
It's freaking me the fuck out.
795
00:48:33,582 --> 00:48:34,707
Yeah, I get that.
796
00:48:34,708 --> 00:48:37,167
It's like when you don't know
where Freddy Krueger is.
797
00:48:37,168 --> 00:48:39,086
'Cause you know it's the second
he's gonna pop up
798
00:48:39,087 --> 00:48:40,754
and stick that knife-hand of his
in your face.
799
00:48:40,755 --> 00:48:42,673
Yeah, Freddy Krueger's fucking terrifying.
800
00:48:42,674 --> 00:48:44,425
Yeah, well, he had a rough childhood.
801
00:48:44,426 --> 00:48:46,093
And as we all know,
hurt people hurt people.
802
00:48:46,094 --> 00:48:48,138
Sometimes they just do it
with their knife-hands.
803
00:48:48,638 --> 00:48:50,158
When's the last time you saw your dad?
804
00:48:51,099 --> 00:48:52,183
Wembley.
805
00:48:54,185 --> 00:48:55,186
Y'all talk since then?
806
00:48:56,104 --> 00:48:57,004
Nope.
807
00:48:58,481 --> 00:49:00,441
Okay. If you could talk to him now,
what would you say?
808
00:49:00,442 --> 00:49:02,234
I'd say, "Fuck you."
809
00:49:02,235 --> 00:49:03,570
Yeah. Makes sense.
810
00:49:04,195 --> 00:49:06,031
- Anything else?
- Yeah.
811
00:49:06,615 --> 00:49:09,034
Yeah, I'd say, "Thank you."
812
00:49:13,622 --> 00:49:16,373
You know, Jamie, if hating your Pops
ain't motivating you like it used to,
813
00:49:16,374 --> 00:49:18,094
it might be time
to try something different.
814
00:49:20,045 --> 00:49:21,213
Just forgive him.
815
00:49:22,505 --> 00:49:23,881
Fuck no. I ain't giving him that.
816
00:49:23,882 --> 00:49:25,592
No. You ain't giving him anything.
817
00:49:26,092 --> 00:49:29,638
When you choose to do that,
you're giving that to yourself.
818
00:49:37,270 --> 00:49:38,897
- Come on.
- Okay.
819
00:49:40,398 --> 00:49:41,399
How do you feel?
820
00:49:42,651 --> 00:49:46,029
- Yeah. Yeah, I feel good, Coach. Yeah.
- Yeah. See, the talk helped, right?
821
00:49:47,155 --> 00:49:49,436
Mostly the painkillers and the adrenaline,
I think. But...
822
00:49:49,824 --> 00:49:51,825
But yeah, the talk helped, yeah.
823
00:49:51,826 --> 00:49:54,662
Good. Now get your buns out there.
Let's go.
824
00:49:54,663 --> 00:49:56,081
Okay, okay.
825
00:50:05,423 --> 00:50:06,424
Come on.
826
00:50:10,637 --> 00:50:12,973
Here we fucking go. Come on, Jamie!
827
00:50:14,349 --> 00:50:17,434
Jamie Tartt
with a dramatic return to play.
828
00:50:17,435 --> 00:50:20,939
And he makes sure
he lets the City fans know all about it.
829
00:50:22,649 --> 00:50:25,860
That's it, baby! You fucking show 'em!
830
00:50:30,031 --> 00:50:31,073
Hey, come on, come on, come on.
831
00:50:31,074 --> 00:50:33,450
Jamie Tartt, do, do, do, do, do, do
832
00:50:33,451 --> 00:50:35,287
Jamie Tartt
Do, do, do, do, do, do
833
00:50:36,705 --> 00:50:41,083
Richmond have their backs
against the wall. It's De Villardi again.
834
00:50:41,084 --> 00:50:43,210
But Van Damme collects comfortably.
835
00:50:43,211 --> 00:50:48,633
And the Canadian, wasting no time,
finds McAdoo. And Richmond are off!
836
00:50:49,885 --> 00:50:51,969
Oh, that's astonishing control from Tartt!
837
00:50:51,970 --> 00:50:53,429
Ooh! Ooh!
838
00:50:53,430 --> 00:50:56,182
What's happening? Thank you.
839
00:50:57,434 --> 00:50:58,518
Tartt cuts inside.
840
00:50:59,561 --> 00:51:00,562
And again.
841
00:51:01,980 --> 00:51:03,732
Oh, he's untouchable!
842
00:51:14,284 --> 00:51:17,245
- Go, Jamie!
- Yes! Yeah!
843
00:51:20,624 --> 00:51:24,168
And Jamie Tartt
all but clinches the win for Richmond
844
00:51:24,169 --> 00:51:26,962
- with a spectacular solo goal!
- My goodness! Did you see that?
845
00:51:26,963 --> 00:51:29,633
Yes, Jamie!
846
00:51:31,092 --> 00:51:33,385
And a class move
from the native Mancunian,
847
00:51:33,386 --> 00:51:36,514
not to celebrate against his former club.
848
00:51:40,644 --> 00:51:43,355
And Richmond with a late substitution.
849
00:51:48,652 --> 00:51:49,653
Attaboy, Jamie!
850
00:51:53,198 --> 00:51:54,282
Well done.
851
00:51:57,244 --> 00:51:59,454
Jamie Tartt, you fucking king!
852
00:52:01,164 --> 00:52:02,289
{\an8}Tartt makes way.
853
00:52:02,290 --> 00:52:05,543
{\an8}And listen to this response
from the City supporters,
854
00:52:05,544 --> 00:52:09,046
{\an8}an ovation for a visiting player
who was also one of their own.
855
00:52:09,047 --> 00:52:11,840
- You don't hear this every day.
- Come on.
856
00:52:11,841 --> 00:52:14,593
Just think of what it means
for Tartt to hear this.
857
00:52:14,594 --> 00:52:17,222
- And what it means for his family.
- Yes. Oh, my God.
858
00:52:17,931 --> 00:52:19,182
Oh, my God.
859
00:52:24,688 --> 00:52:27,315
- Fucking beautiful.
- That was amazing.
860
00:52:36,199 --> 00:52:37,200
Jamie.
861
00:52:46,668 --> 00:52:47,710
He's a tough kid.
862
00:52:47,711 --> 00:52:49,379
His dad would have been proud.
863
00:52:55,635 --> 00:52:57,094
Credit where it's due.
864
00:52:57,095 --> 00:53:00,431
Lasso rolled the dice on Tartt's fitness
and the team's talisman
865
00:53:00,432 --> 00:53:01,975
rose to the occasion.
866
00:53:03,727 --> 00:53:06,729
With time running out,
City try and cross into the box.
867
00:53:06,730 --> 00:53:08,189
But again, Van Damme is there.
868
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:16,447
And after
that sterling performance from Richmond,
869
00:53:16,448 --> 00:53:20,034
the Premier League title will come down
to the final week of the season.
870
00:53:20,035 --> 00:53:22,661
Chris, they could win
the whole effing thing!
871
00:53:22,662 --> 00:53:25,247
Sorry for
the almost brutal language there, folks.
872
00:53:25,248 --> 00:53:26,666
It's that time. Holy crap.
873
00:53:27,876 --> 00:53:30,711
- Good game. Congratulations.
- Thanks, Coach. I appreciate it.
874
00:53:30,712 --> 00:53:33,272
Hey, I gotta be honest with you.
You're a tough guy to beat, man.
875
00:53:33,632 --> 00:53:36,133
Nah, don't worry about wins or losses.
876
00:53:36,134 --> 00:53:39,595
Just help these guys be the best version
of themselves on and off the pitch.
877
00:53:39,596 --> 00:53:41,263
This, at the end,
is the most important thing.
878
00:53:41,264 --> 00:53:42,890
I couldn't agree more, Coach.
879
00:53:42,891 --> 00:53:44,392
All right, then. Take care.
880
00:53:49,189 --> 00:53:51,732
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
881
00:53:51,733 --> 00:53:54,277
- Boss. Hey, it's good to see you.
- Good to see you too.
882
00:54:27,894 --> 00:54:30,437
- All right, lads. Listen up.
- All right. Yo, what's up?
883
00:54:30,438 --> 00:54:32,648
We've got one more game, so that means
884
00:54:32,649 --> 00:54:35,529
a glass of water with every single
alcoholic beverage tonight, all right?
885
00:54:36,820 --> 00:54:38,988
- We rolling?
- No, no. I've gotta get this sorted out.
886
00:54:38,989 --> 00:54:40,549
But you have fun with your water, yeah?
887
00:54:44,411 --> 00:54:46,078
- There's my lad. Do you proud.
- Nice.
888
00:54:46,079 --> 00:54:48,163
- Yeah, you bet, bruv. All right, love.
- Hey, take care, bruv.
889
00:54:48,164 --> 00:54:49,415
- Love.
- That's what I like, man.
890
00:54:49,416 --> 00:54:51,041
- Be good. Be good.
- Rest up, man.
891
00:54:51,042 --> 00:54:52,877
Hey, listen, man.
I wanna say I'm proud of you.
892
00:54:52,878 --> 00:54:55,462
- You played so well today, man.
- Appreciate it, man.
893
00:54:55,463 --> 00:54:57,798
- You scored a goal. Come on. Hey.
- Thanks, Jamie.
894
00:54:57,799 --> 00:54:59,592
Get better soon, hermano.
Well done tonight.
895
00:54:59,593 --> 00:55:01,344
Thank you, man. Big love, amigo.
896
00:55:09,394 --> 00:55:11,313
All right, buddy.
897
00:55:11,813 --> 00:55:13,564
I will see you at karaoke.
898
00:55:13,565 --> 00:55:16,734
I will of course sign us up
for "Islands in the Stream."
899
00:55:16,735 --> 00:55:18,402
But I'm calling dibs on Dolly.
900
00:55:18,403 --> 00:55:19,905
No can do, Coach.
901
00:55:21,323 --> 00:55:23,657
Mom's cooking dinner tonight.
Last night in town.
902
00:55:23,658 --> 00:55:25,951
All right. Well, give Dottie my love.
903
00:55:25,952 --> 00:55:30,707
Will do. Actually, hold on a sec, Coach.
Come here. Check this out.
904
00:55:36,379 --> 00:55:38,797
No, no. I know you've already seen it.
905
00:55:38,798 --> 00:55:41,559
I just don't know if you've watched
the whole thing. Look. Look, look.
906
00:55:42,969 --> 00:55:43,970
All right.
907
00:55:44,888 --> 00:55:46,556
So look. After we came in,
908
00:55:47,140 --> 00:55:50,309
Nate had to hide under my desk here
for, like, three whole hours
909
00:55:50,310 --> 00:55:53,730
while we were all whooping and hollering
and celebrating all around him.
910
00:55:55,398 --> 00:55:58,485
Then, once we all split,
he thought he was in the clear.
911
00:55:59,110 --> 00:56:01,153
And boom! Cleaning crew shows up.
912
00:56:01,154 --> 00:56:05,575
Oh, man. That's another two hours
under that desk. Yep.
913
00:56:08,078 --> 00:56:10,914
Well, then after they leave,
he crawls out.
914
00:56:11,539 --> 00:56:14,708
His legs just gotta be jelly.
He can barely stand up.
915
00:56:14,709 --> 00:56:17,837
Look at this. He goes to check the doors,
but they're all locked!
916
00:56:19,923 --> 00:56:21,674
Oh, man, that son of a gun
917
00:56:21,675 --> 00:56:24,594
had to climb out the window here
just to get out of the building.
918
00:56:28,723 --> 00:56:30,182
You know, I don't know about you, Coach.
919
00:56:30,183 --> 00:56:35,646
But I hope that either all of us
or none of us are judged
920
00:56:35,647 --> 00:56:37,941
by the actions of our weakest moments,
921
00:56:39,317 --> 00:56:41,986
but rather by the strength we show
922
00:56:41,987 --> 00:56:46,616
when and if we're ever given
a second chance.
923
00:56:50,203 --> 00:56:51,746
All right, have fun tonight, Coach.
924
00:56:54,249 --> 00:56:58,253
And we rely on each other, ah ha
925
00:57:02,883 --> 00:57:05,051
Fuck.
926
00:57:23,695 --> 00:57:26,488
- Hi.
- Hey. What are you guys doing?
927
00:57:26,489 --> 00:57:28,449
We thought we'd come and keep you company.
928
00:57:28,450 --> 00:57:30,410
- Fucking celebrate.
- Yeah!
929
00:57:31,119 --> 00:57:33,622
'Cause that was fucking amazing, Jamie.
930
00:57:34,289 --> 00:57:35,969
Yeah, I was fucking amazing. You're right.
931
00:57:36,791 --> 00:57:37,691
Yes.
932
00:57:40,754 --> 00:57:43,172
- You start us off.
- Don't mind if I do.
933
00:57:43,173 --> 00:57:46,384
Right. What the fuck happened, man?
934
00:57:48,053 --> 00:57:49,304
Did I look sexy?
935
00:57:52,933 --> 00:57:55,268
Shame you weren't injured
in your fucking head, innit?
936
00:57:59,522 --> 00:58:00,523
I'm back.
937
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:03,400
Hey, babe. You all right?
938
00:58:03,401 --> 00:58:05,570
Someone never came for their pickup order.
939
00:58:06,238 --> 00:58:08,156
Thank you. Great.
940
00:58:10,492 --> 00:58:15,413
So, I don't know if you heard,
but Derek fired me today.
941
00:58:16,623 --> 00:58:18,457
That bastard!
942
00:58:18,458 --> 00:58:21,253
Yeah. I was devastated.
943
00:58:23,797 --> 00:58:26,966
But it made me realize that even though
there's only one match left,
944
00:58:26,967 --> 00:58:29,636
I have to go back to Richmond.
To make things right.
945
00:58:31,972 --> 00:58:33,556
Currently writing Ted an apology letter.
946
00:58:33,557 --> 00:58:36,726
It's 60 pages, but I'm just looking
for a few trims, so...
947
00:58:38,645 --> 00:58:39,771
Two secs.
948
00:58:41,189 --> 00:58:42,566
Sixty pages.
949
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:46,260
Oh, my God.
950
00:58:59,207 --> 00:59:00,667
You here to kill me?
951
00:59:02,335 --> 00:59:04,170
Ted and I met playing college football.
952
00:59:05,547 --> 00:59:08,215
He was the backup punter.
I was the backup kicker.
953
00:59:08,216 --> 00:59:09,551
We never got in a game,
954
00:59:10,176 --> 00:59:14,014
but we spent a lot of time together,
jogging and doing box jumps.
955
00:59:15,390 --> 00:59:16,932
After school, we went our separate ways.
956
00:59:16,933 --> 00:59:19,477
And he was dating Michelle,
got into coaching.
957
00:59:20,353 --> 00:59:21,438
And I got into prison.
958
00:59:22,981 --> 00:59:24,149
When I got paroled...
959
00:59:26,151 --> 00:59:29,529
I had no money, family didn't want me.
I had nowhere to go.
960
00:59:30,447 --> 00:59:31,573
So I looked up Ted.
961
00:59:33,742 --> 00:59:36,077
He took me in, fed me.
962
00:59:37,245 --> 00:59:38,622
Let me crash on his couch.
963
00:59:40,123 --> 00:59:43,376
And in return, I stole his car.
964
00:59:45,587 --> 00:59:46,588
Now, I didn't get far.
965
00:59:48,131 --> 00:59:51,675
And I would've gone straight back
to prison if Ted didn't come down there
966
00:59:51,676 --> 00:59:54,679
and convince those cops
that he gave me the car.
967
00:59:55,722 --> 00:59:56,722
Just like in Les Mis.
968
00:59:56,723 --> 00:59:58,975
Our story is very similar to Les Mis, yes.
969
00:59:59,559 --> 01:00:01,227
- You went to prison?
- Yes.
970
01:00:01,228 --> 01:00:03,021
For stealing a loaf of meth.
971
01:00:05,273 --> 01:00:06,733
And then I stole from my friend.
972
01:00:09,110 --> 01:00:10,195
Who forgave me.
973
01:00:12,530 --> 01:00:15,867
And gave me a job. And a life.
974
01:00:19,246 --> 01:00:22,207
So to honor that, I forgive you.
975
01:00:24,167 --> 01:00:28,380
I offer you a job.
And the life part's up to you.
976
01:00:35,595 --> 01:00:36,721
Thank you.
977
01:00:42,769 --> 01:00:46,648
You sure you don't wanna headbutt me?
I think it might make us feel better.
978
01:01:01,955 --> 01:01:04,082
Monday, 10:00 a.m.
979
01:01:30,942 --> 01:01:33,777
- Hello?
- Welcome home, honey.
980
01:01:33,778 --> 01:01:37,656
- Come take a seat, you must be starving.
- Yeah, okay.
981
01:01:37,657 --> 01:01:40,826
Hey, congratulations on your big win.
982
01:01:40,827 --> 01:01:44,414
I didn't know if you'd be in the mood
for meat loaf or lasagna, so I made both.
983
01:01:49,336 --> 01:01:53,172
- Mom, what's wrong? Why are you here?
- What do you mean?
984
01:01:53,173 --> 01:01:55,842
I mean, if you got something
you need to say to me,
985
01:01:56,509 --> 01:01:58,260
I'd appreciate it
if you just went ahead and said it.
986
01:01:58,261 --> 01:02:02,556
Oh, stop. I just want to spend
my last night in London with my son
987
01:02:02,557 --> 01:02:04,476
and make sure everything's all right.
988
01:02:06,144 --> 01:02:07,145
Yeah, okay.
989
01:02:07,812 --> 01:02:10,105
Well, thank you for cooking dinner.
Both of 'em.
990
01:02:10,106 --> 01:02:11,650
Oh, you're welcome.
991
01:02:13,652 --> 01:02:17,029
- And fuck you for not wanting to talk.
- Excuse me?
992
01:02:17,030 --> 01:02:20,074
Thank you for flying all the way here
to come see me,
993
01:02:20,075 --> 01:02:21,955
and fuck you for not telling me
you were coming.
994
01:02:23,161 --> 01:02:27,665
Thank you for all the small, silly, little
things you did for me as a kid, you know?
995
01:02:27,666 --> 01:02:29,792
Like hiding notes in my lunch box
996
01:02:29,793 --> 01:02:34,422
or putting googly eyes on the fruit
at the supermarket just to make me laugh.
997
01:02:34,923 --> 01:02:38,050
And fuck you for not working on yourself
998
01:02:38,051 --> 01:02:40,428
or seeking help after we lost dad.
999
01:02:40,929 --> 01:02:42,763
And for not talking to me about it either.
1000
01:02:42,764 --> 01:02:47,310
Just glossing over the whole thing
and acting like everything was all right.
1001
01:02:50,897 --> 01:02:52,691
I'm sorry.
1002
01:02:57,362 --> 01:02:59,280
I didn't know what to do, Ted.
1003
01:02:59,281 --> 01:03:03,409
So, I pretended I was okay.
1004
01:03:03,410 --> 01:03:05,912
Okay. Well, thank you for the apology.
1005
01:03:06,413 --> 01:03:08,665
And fuck you for making me think
I had to pretend too.
1006
01:03:09,749 --> 01:03:13,336
All right.
I appreciate you sharing all this with me.
1007
01:03:15,088 --> 01:03:17,715
I just wish you hadn't carried it around
for so long.
1008
01:03:17,716 --> 01:03:18,967
Yeah, okay.
1009
01:03:19,551 --> 01:03:23,138
And you're right, Ted,
I do have something to say to you.
1010
01:03:26,099 --> 01:03:27,434
Your son misses you.
1011
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:33,857
Yeah, I know.
1012
01:03:36,318 --> 01:03:37,819
I miss him too.
1013
01:03:47,078 --> 01:03:48,079
It's just like I...
1014
01:03:49,289 --> 01:03:53,627
It's like I'm scared sometimes to, like...
1015
01:03:55,086 --> 01:03:57,047
To get close to that little boy.
1016
01:03:57,797 --> 01:03:59,507
Oh, honey, why?
1017
01:04:03,553 --> 01:04:05,263
'Cause I know he's gonna leave.
1018
01:04:11,102 --> 01:04:12,187
Oh, well...
1019
01:04:14,773 --> 01:04:18,067
God. No, no, no, no. You know...
1020
01:04:18,068 --> 01:04:20,487
All right.
That is the thing about being a parent.
1021
01:04:21,696 --> 01:04:23,615
Sometimes you lose and
1022
01:04:24,824 --> 01:04:27,786
sometimes you win,
but most of the time you just tie.
1023
01:04:31,581 --> 01:04:34,542
All we can do is keep playing.
1024
01:04:36,378 --> 01:04:37,379
Right.
1025
01:04:43,885 --> 01:04:44,970
Thank you.
1026
01:04:47,305 --> 01:04:48,306
Fuck you.
1027
01:04:52,852 --> 01:04:54,437
Oh, my goodness.
1028
01:04:54,938 --> 01:04:57,357
I'm sorry about that. I...
1029
01:04:58,900 --> 01:05:00,484
You know what?
Let me make it up to you, okay?
1030
01:05:00,485 --> 01:05:04,280
Why don't you take a seat?
And I'll serve you dinner for once, okay?
1031
01:05:04,281 --> 01:05:08,659
- What? Okay.
- Come on now, pop a squat. Go on.
1032
01:05:08,660 --> 01:05:09,744
Yeah, yeah.
1033
01:05:11,538 --> 01:05:16,458
Hey. You know, this therapist
must be doing you some good.
1034
01:05:16,459 --> 01:05:17,627
Oh, boy.
1035
01:05:18,545 --> 01:05:20,379
I'm gonna leave her out of this.
1036
01:05:20,380 --> 01:05:24,425
Oh, wait till she hears about this. Okay.
You know what? Let's start with the wine.
1037
01:05:24,426 --> 01:05:25,677
Let's do, please.
1038
01:05:30,181 --> 01:05:32,183
- Bex.
- Hi.
1039
01:05:32,684 --> 01:05:36,605
Sorry to just show up like this.
I need some advice.
1040
01:05:37,981 --> 01:05:40,275
- Okay.
- Can we come in?
1041
01:05:40,859 --> 01:05:41,860
We?
1042
01:05:47,532 --> 01:05:48,533
Of course.
1043
01:07:00,689 --> 01:07:01,855
Morning, Will.
1044
01:07:01,856 --> 01:07:03,233
Hey. Good morning, Ted.
1045
01:07:12,075 --> 01:07:14,244
- Hey, Boss.
- Hello, Ted.
1046
01:07:15,078 --> 01:07:16,580
Do you know this John Wooden?
1047
01:07:17,080 --> 01:07:18,789
No, ma'am.
Never had the chance to meet him.
1048
01:07:18,790 --> 01:07:20,375
Oh, pity. I like this.
1049
01:07:21,126 --> 01:07:23,366
I mean, if you don't like that,
you don't like ice cream.
1050
01:07:24,796 --> 01:07:25,797
What's up?
1051
01:07:26,923 --> 01:07:29,925
- Do you know what time it is?
- 9:30.
1052
01:07:29,926 --> 01:07:33,597
Or half nine as you folks say over here
for some goofy-ass reason.
1053
01:07:34,180 --> 01:07:36,391
- That's just to annoy Americans.
- Yeah.
1054
01:07:38,643 --> 01:07:44,983
No, this is that time of year when I come
down here and reveal something to you.
1055
01:07:45,483 --> 01:07:48,570
Oh, snap. That's right. Okay.
1056
01:07:49,321 --> 01:07:50,655
Well, here we go.
1057
01:07:51,823 --> 01:07:53,657
You know what?
Maybe I should guess this year.
1058
01:07:53,658 --> 01:07:55,367
No, no, no, that's silly. Yeah.
1059
01:07:55,368 --> 01:07:58,121
No, you just go ahead and tell me.
Go on, let 'er rip.
1060
01:08:00,165 --> 01:08:01,065
I've got nothing.
1061
01:08:02,417 --> 01:08:04,835
I really tried as well.
I mean, even on the walk over here,
1062
01:08:04,836 --> 01:08:07,922
I was thinking something would pop
into my head, but nope.
1063
01:08:07,923 --> 01:08:10,467
Absolutely nothing. Sorry, Ted.
1064
01:08:11,468 --> 01:08:14,095
No truth bomb this year.
1065
01:08:14,888 --> 01:08:15,889
Well, that's okay.
1066
01:08:18,266 --> 01:08:19,267
I got one.
83917
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