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1
00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:23,356
-And that's when
I switched to boxer briefs.
-Mm-hmm.
2
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,567
And I never looked back.
Best of both worlds.
3
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,318
Okay, I'm heading out.
4
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,903
Hey, Linda, you're just in time to hear
5
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:30,113
why I changed my underpants.
6
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,198
I-I mean the kind of underpants I wear.
7
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:33,908
I'm gonna have to take
a rain check, Teddy.
8
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:35,201
I'm going on a power walk.
9
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,287
Ooh, power walk. Sounds fun.
10
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,164
What is that? Do you stomp really hard?
11
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,541
Yeah, it's a part of this thing
I'm doing with Ginger.
12
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:43,585
Gettin' Fitty in your Forties.
13
00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:45,628
It's all about exercising
and eating better
14
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,505
-and being in your forties.
-Can I do it, too?
15
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,799
-I could probably be healthier.
-No.
16
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,385
Sure you can. Get ready for salads
17
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,471
and veggies and smoothies.
18
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,806
Smoothies with cayenne pepper
and flax seed.
19
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,433
Wow. What's flax seed?
20
00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:00,101
I don't know, but I feel great.
21
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:01,853
Maybe it comes from a flax machine.
22
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:04,689
-Ha! I'm getting fittier and funnier.
-Yeah, you are.
23
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,566
Anyway, Ginger already took her walk,
24
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:08,610
so now I got to take mine
or I'll get a frowny face
25
00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:09,736
on my profile.
26
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:11,071
And Ginger and I have this bet.
27
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,655
Whoever gets the most frowny faces
28
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:13,865
has to wear their bra over their shirt
29
00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:14,866
for a whole day.
30
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,993
That might be bad for business.
31
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,411
Or possibly good.
32
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,830
Yeah, it depends on the bra.
Ooh, I better get going.
33
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,916
We got the kids' parent-teacher-
student conferences
34
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:23,917
in an hour and a half.
35
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,127
Yeah, where they make us all sit together
36
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,837
and discuss the kids
right in front of them.
37
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,632
I try to not make eye contact
with... our children.
38
00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:32,384
Well, they don't usually
grade the parents,
39
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,594
but I bet the teachers will
probably give me an "A"
40
00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:37,847
for A-mazing lifestyle changes
and great parenting.
41
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,433
-Speaking of, where are the kids?
They're late.
-You're right.
42
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:43,019
Maybe it's for a good reason?
43
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,479
I mean, it never is.
44
00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:46,773
Maybe there's a cool new dance
all the kids are doing,
45
00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:48,775
and they're having a dance-off
in the alley?
46
00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:49,984
Why is it in an alley?
47
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,861
That's where people step to you, Bob.
48
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,697
Maybe they got on
the wrong bus from school
49
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,198
and ended up in a different town.
50
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:56,866
-That happened to me a lot.
-(entry bell jingles)
51
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,451
LINDA:
There you are. Where were you?
52
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,954
Where were you?
No? Does that not work?
53
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,872
-(sighs) We all got detention.
-What?!
54
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,708
-Yeah.
-Uh-huh.
-How?
55
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,876
I swapped out Ms. Labonz's
morning announcements
56
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,420
with the lyrics for "Baby Got Back,"
57
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,088
which she only read the first line of,
58
00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:11,673
but it was hilarious.
59
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,299
I put a hot dog in the pencil sharpener
60
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,343
to make Hot Dog Swirl Snacks--
patent pending.
61
00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:17,721
And Tammy said horses are just
boring zebras.
62
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,389
And one of us got her hair pulled,
63
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:20,890
and the other one got detention.
64
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,308
So, what's new around here?
65
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:23,893
I can't believe you guys.
66
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,645
What?
Oh, the detentions.
67
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,063
Yeah, kids, that's not good.
68
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,399
But, Gene, the hot dog thing?
I kind of get it.
69
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,984
I've had the same thought before.
70
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,986
-(angry groan)
-But y-you shouldn't do it.
71
00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:35,071
And you do this on parent-
teacher-student conference day,
72
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,656
of all days?!
73
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,533
I guess it's not a great look.
Sorry, Mom.
74
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:40,785
But, hey, if it helps,
you don't even have to worry
75
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:44,164
about punishing us
because detention was... woof.
76
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,833
It was rough.
They didn't let us get water,
77
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:48,668
more than several times.
78
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:50,587
And there were no pastries at all.
79
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,963
Not even a bear claw.
80
00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,715
I did kind of enjoy
being alone with my thoughts.
81
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:56,092
-(Louise clears throat)
-But, yeah, it was hard. Real, real hard.
82
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,094
Oh, you're all getting punished,
Miss Missies
83
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,262
and Mister Misters.
84
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,348
But we're sorry, Mama.
85
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:04,059
-No! It's not gonna work this time, Gene.
-(gasps)
86
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:07,228
It's called rules, okay?
Rules exist for a reason.
87
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,273
It's how society is a thing.
You got to follow the rules.
88
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,692
Right? Bob, right?
This is where you come in.
89
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,152
Um, yeah, that's right.
90
00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:15,737
Sorry, you just seemed
like you were on a roll.
91
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,989
I mean, we should all be trying
to be better people
92
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,240
around here, you know.
93
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,326
I'm doing my part.
I'm eating flax.
94
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:24,079
-Maybe you should just relax
and have some more flax.
-No!
95
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,039
No, Gene.
Leave my flax out of this.
96
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,208
Now I'm going on my power walk,
and I'm gonna think of
97
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,543
a punishment that fits how annoyed I am.
98
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,796
Spoiler alert, it's gonna be a big one.
99
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,965
In the meantime, get to work
here and do your homework.
100
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,592
-(entry bell jingles)
-Wait, which one do you want us to do?
101
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,636
Both.
Multitask!
102
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,097
Wow, I would not want
to be you guys right now.
103
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,807
-Nope.
-Thank you both.
104
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,308
Mom seemed extra angry.
105
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,976
Her teeth were grittier than ever.
106
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,353
Gritty and gorgeous.
107
00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,146
Okay, so here's what I think we should do.
108
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,107
Work extra hard, and when she comes back,
109
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,858
this place will look so great, she'll say,
110
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,443
"No punishment necessary."
111
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,862
Yeah. And she'll pick us up
and throw us in the air
112
00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:00,782
and say, "My beautiful bouncing babies."
113
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,325
I mean, I always work extra hard.
114
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,827
I leave it on the field every day.
115
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,371
But, okay, let's try it
with all three of us.
116
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,873
So, Bob, back to my underpants story.
117
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,251
Oh, do we need to go back?
I think I got it all.
118
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,461
Here's the thing.
I signed up for an improv class,
119
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:14,838
and I'm really nervous about it.
120
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,423
So we're not talking about underpants?
121
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:17,799
No, we are.
122
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,342
Our first performance is tonight.
123
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,011
I'm starting to freak out,
so I was wondering
124
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,388
if you'd come to the show
and yell out a suggestion.
125
00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:24,848
In this case, underpants,
126
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,766
so I can roll into my underpants story.
127
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,476
I don't think the point
of improv is to have
128
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,186
a story ready to tell, Teddy.
129
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,355
Oh, I'm sorry, Professor Think-em-ups.
130
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,982
Listen, please just come.
131
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,275
Please come and yell out "underpants."
132
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,569
-No.
-Yes, and?
133
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:39,821
(scoffs)
I can't believe those kids.
134
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,281
Darn rule-breaking hooligans.
135
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,491
On parent-teacher-student
conference night.
136
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,201
Out of my way, squirrel!
137
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,953
-Oh, I'm so mad.
-(stomach rumbles)
138
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,956
Uh-oh, cayenne smoothie
is moving around in there. Ow.
139
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,043
-Oh, oh, oh, boy. I better go back home.
-(rumbling louder)
140
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,836
Oh, no.
Oh, no, I'm gonna poop!
141
00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:56,171
Oh, no. Oh, no, it's gonna happen.
142
00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:57,547
Oh, thank God.
143
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,257
Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.
144
00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:00,800
Hold it, hold it.
145
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,886
-Damn it! Oh, what?
-(rumbling)
146
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,137
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
147
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,014
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
148
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:08,808
-Tag, you're it.
-Eh, stupid kids!
149
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,268
I mean, hi.
150
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,354
Childhood.
Happy memories.
151
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,064
Oh, maybe I'll just go behind there.
152
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,525
No. No. No. No. No!
Hi.
153
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:20,111
Oh, my God, it's happening!
154
00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,614
-(relieved): Okay...
-(siren wails)
155
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,908
Oh, poop.
156
00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,871
LINDA:You got to believe me.
157
00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:31,498
I almost always poop in toilets.
158
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,667
It was an accident.
An emergency.
159
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,836
-That's what they all say.
-They all say that? Who's they?
160
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,588
-Public poopers.
-What?!
161
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,965
No, no, that's not who I am.
162
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,509
This was all just a mistake.
163
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,261
I'm on this new exercise program,
and I'm eating healthy.
164
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,846
I think my body's just confused
165
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,640
that I'm not shoveling garbage into it.
166
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,100
It's not used to salads.
167
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,894
And that damn cayenne pepper
is a spicy little bastard.
168
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:55,230
So, I didn't need to hear any of that.
169
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:58,566
-Uh, the fine is $100.
-Okay.
170
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,569
But since you have no wallet or ID,
or even a phone,
171
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,780
we need someone to come pay the citation
172
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,156
with cash before you can leave.
173
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,366
Okay, no problem.
174
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,867
I'll call my husband
and he'll be right here.
175
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,620
I get a phone call, right?
Like in the movies?
176
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,038
-Let me see your hands.
-Wha?
177
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,832
-Palms up.
-Oh, hand sanitizer.
178
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,459
Right, right, right, right.
179
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:17,836
TEDDY:Oh, come on, Bob.
180
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,380
Kids, tell your dad
to come to my improv show
181
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,631
and yell out "underpants."
182
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,174
I'll do it at your wedding.
183
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,427
Sorry, Teddy, we're quietly
and obediently doing our work,
184
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,680
-like good children.
-But if you want some advice,
maybe just have fun with it?
185
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,598
You think improv's supposed to be fun?!
186
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:31,850
-(phone ringing)
-Sorry, sorry.
187
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,436
Bob's Burgers.
Oh, hi. What?
188
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,730
You're kidding.
Are you serious?
189
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:40,066
Uh, okay, okay, let me look.
We might be a little short.
190
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,277
But I'll go to the bank
and head right over.
191
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,280
Oh, uh... I-I promise.
I won't.
192
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,907
L-Love you, too.
Bye.
193
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,117
That was, um...
(clears throat)
194
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,744
...the restaurant supply store.
195
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:53,038
They called me personally
to say they're-they're having
196
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,332
a, uh, half-off sale
for the next 30 minutes.
197
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,667
And you love them?
198
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,961
-Yes, very much.
-TINA: Aw.
199
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:01,463
Uh, so I'm gonna go check it out real fast
200
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,590
and be back in time
to take you to your conferences.
201
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,009
Kids, go upstairs
and-and do your homework. Teddy,
202
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,553
-um... leave.
-Okay, fine.
203
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,055
But if you need someone
to shout "underpants"
204
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,098
in a room full of ten or 11 people,
205
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:13,933
don't come crawling to me, Bob.
206
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:15,185
Okay, sounds good.
207
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,436
Are you sure you don't want us
to stay here
208
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,438
and do extra work, Dad,
209
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:19,564
with our sweet little hands?
210
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,232
Yeah, really get into it.
211
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:22,776
I don't know, maybe mop the ceiling?
212
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,194
No, that's-that's okay.
213
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,780
We could tackle that sticky corner
that we always avoid.
214
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:29,699
So many hairs stuck there.
It looks like a little forest.
215
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,910
I'm positive.
Go upstairs and I'll be right back
216
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,037
with, uh, all those restaurant supplies
I'm gonna get.
217
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,122
-Your wish is our command, Papa.
-(bell jingles)
218
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,958
Looks like there's no cleaning
our way out of this one.
219
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:41,169
And Mom's still out there,
angrily strutting around
220
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,088
thinking of God knows what to punish us.
221
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,298
And God's seen some pretty rough stuff.
222
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,426
LINDA:So, uh, yeah,
223
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,637
-my husband will be here really soon.
-Mm-hmm.
224
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,139
And, uh, he'll bring the money
and we'll clear all this up.
225
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,058
-Uh-huh.
-He just has to stop at the bank.
226
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,268
Sure.
He sounds great and totally real.
227
00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:58,436
He is real.
228
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,647
You know what else is real?
Toilets.
229
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,774
I know.
I was looking for one.
230
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,109
Would it help if I showed you a picture
231
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:06,778
of what they look like?
Toilet. Toilet.
232
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:09,447
That's the kind I have.
Oh, that's a nice one.
233
00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:10,824
-That one's okay.
-Ugh.
234
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,158
That one's dumb.
235
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,161
What? Bank holiday?
236
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,580
I know, right?
Another one?
237
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,500
They should just tell us the days
that aren't bank holidays.
238
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,918
It'd be a shorter list.
239
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,795
Well, at least the ATMs are open.
240
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,463
I know, but it's not the same.
241
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:28,508
-I like the human interaction.
-Why is my card not working?
242
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,969
Oh, it's all scratched up.
How did that happen?
243
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,804
Oh, right.
244
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:35,598
Get in there.
Oh, ah...
245
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,350
-Is that my ATM card?
-Yeah.
246
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,644
I'm showing Gene and Tina
how they can open any door
247
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:41,396
with a simple credit card.
248
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:42,605
I'm not sure I need to know this.
249
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,065
Then why did you sign up for
250
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,859
Louise's Life Skills Workshop?
251
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,486
I thought it would be more
about organizing my closet.
252
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,613
I'm just here to network.
Hello, I'm Gene.
253
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:51,740
What do you do for work?
254
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,409
Oh, my God, I hate that workshop.
255
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,412
Math, math, math.
Oh, who can do math
256
00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:59,122
-at a time like this?!
-I know.
257
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,707
I think we finally
pushed Mom over the edge.
258
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,208
I'm scared of what she's gonna do to us.
259
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,209
It's gonna be bad.
260
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:04,919
It's gonna be really bad.
261
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,671
You think she's gonna ground us
through high school?
262
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:09,382
What if she replaces our hands
and feet with mops and brooms,
263
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:10,925
makes us clean all day long?
264
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,802
What if she hires a gorilla to eat us?!
265
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,346
I know they're plant-eating,
gentle giants,
266
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:16,139
but everyone has their price!
267
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,599
What if she says no TV?
268
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,809
-Aah!
-Aah! I don't want that life!
269
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,644
Hey, did you guys watch
that really great TV show
270
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,481
-that was on the TV last night?
-ALL: No!
271
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,566
Too bad.
It was a shared cultural moment.
272
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:27,859
(chuckles)
See you later.
273
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,403
We can't let this happen!
274
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,155
-MAN: Just the gum?
-BOB: Yes.
275
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,366
So, you were sitting at home,
and you thought,
276
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,368
"I need some gum, I'm gonna get in the car
277
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,370
and head over to the grocery store"?
278
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:39,662
Uh... yeah.
279
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,289
So can you just ring it up?
280
00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:43,124
Yep. Ringing up one gum.
281
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,418
One gum for the man that only needs gum.
282
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:46,836
Look, I'm kind of in a hurry.
283
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,005
I-I came to cash a check
because the banks are closed
284
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,548
and my ATM card isn't working.
285
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,926
-Cash a check?
-Yeah. Like, if I write a check
286
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,387
for $40 over the amount of my purchase,
287
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,055
you give me the $40.
288
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:59,057
Oh, no, I, uh, I know
what cashing a check means,
289
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,934
but we're not in the '80s anymore.
290
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:04,437
-What?
-Most stores stopped doing that
a long time ago, including ours.
291
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,648
Well, there should be a sign
that says that.
292
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:07,899
There is.
293
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,901
-Damn it!
-You still want the gum?
294
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,903
-Yes.
-That'll be $1.39.
295
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,531
Uh, one dollar
296
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,450
and 39 cents.
297
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,494
This feels like time traveling.
298
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:22,038
Carp. 40 minutes till parent-
teacher-student conferences.
299
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,374
Oh, why can't we just have
lots of money lying around?
300
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,459
Oh. Linda's secret emergency money drawer.
301
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,337
-Of course! I forgot.
-You know, the more I hear you,
302
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,423
the more I feel like
your life doesn't make sense.
303
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:33,466
But, uh, I'm just a normal person.
304
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,093
Shush.
305
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,803
I don't know what's taking him so long.
306
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,054
He should have been here by now.
307
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,848
Yeah, most people who exist
308
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:41,099
would have been here by now.
309
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,308
You know what?
I have an idea.
310
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:43,977
I'll go home, I'll get the money,
311
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,186
I'll come right back and pay you.
312
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,313
No, no, that's not how this works.
313
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:48,732
No, yeah, it's good, it's good.
314
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,859
So should I just let everyone out of jail?
315
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,444
I'm sure they'll all come back, right?
316
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,112
I mean, it's something to try.
317
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,239
I'm gonna go, I'll be right back.
You'll see.
318
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,782
You really should sit back down.
319
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,618
If you walk out that door,
I'll be forced to detain you.
320
00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,871
More than I'm already detaining you.
321
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:04,914
-But we're friends.
-Nope.
322
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,834
Acquaintances?
If I saw you on the street, I'd say hi.
323
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,252
Ma'am, don't open that door.
324
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,628
No, it's fine, it's fine.
325
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,757
Oh, double poop.
326
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:20,055
In case Mom really does go crazy
and says no TV,
327
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,807
we should make a cardboard decoy TV
for the living room,
328
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,601
and we'll put the real TV in my room.
329
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,935
-Um, my room?
-My room.
330
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,896
Okay, we'll put the TV
in the middle of the floor
331
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:29,522
and let it come to who it likes best.
332
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:30,899
-(door closes)
-Aah! Homework!
333
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,317
Yeah, my hands are so sore
334
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,235
from doing all this homework so well.
335
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:37,280
And my butt is sore
from all of my homework farts.
336
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:40,075
-Uh, uh-huh, uh-huh, great.
-Are you chewing gum?
337
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,077
Since when do you have gum
we don't know about?
338
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,079
Did you get anything good
at the restaurant supply store?
339
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,622
Maybe some fun aprons?
340
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,791
-Oh, um...
-Apron fashion show?
341
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,793
First of all, even if I did
get some good aprons,
342
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,629
you kids are in trouble,
so no apron fashion show.
343
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,547
-Boo.
-And second of all, um,
344
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,759
there wasn't anything good at the store,
so I got some gum
345
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,386
to cheer myself up.
346
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,846
And now I'm going
into my bedroom to get something,
347
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:04,307
and I don't want you to follow me.
348
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:07,143
I like new Gum Dad.
He's in charge.
349
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,728
LINDA:You made a big mistake
350
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:10,647
putting me in here, a big mistake.
351
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,608
Pretty Woman big.
Not that I do Pretty Woman stuff.
352
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:15,443
My lawyer's gonna be so mad!
353
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,945
What's your lawyer's name?
354
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,572
John Lawyer... ton.
355
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:22,033
John Lawyerton.
I've heard of him.
356
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:23,159
-He's good.
-Oh.
357
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,828
Oh, there's Sergeant Bosco.
358
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,579
He'll vouch for me.
You'll see.
359
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,248
He knows I'm good for the money.
360
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:30,583
-Sergeant Bosco!
-Linda Belcher?
361
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,336
-What are you doing here?
-It's all a big misunderstanding.
362
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,046
I was on a power walk and I got a ticket
363
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,257
and I don't have my purse or any ID.
364
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,050
Yeah?
What'd you get a ticket for?
365
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:41,970
Nothing. It was nothing.
It-it was no big deal.
366
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,055
Public defecation.
367
00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:46,182
-Oh, dear Lord.
-No, no, please.
368
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,892
It was the cayenne pepper.
369
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,436
And maybe the flax, I don't know.
370
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,230
Oh, but come on, Bosco, you know me.
371
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:55,442
I thought I knew you.
Public poopers are just... ugh.
372
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:58,528
I mean, this is a society.
There are rules.
373
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,947
I know, I know. I say that all the time.
374
00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:02,574
It's just the worst.
375
00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:03,950
Well, what about murderers?
376
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:06,369
Well, murder is bad, too, but at least
377
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:09,456
it's not pooping outside
like some kind of psycho.
378
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:12,250
Sergeant Bosco, wait, come back.
379
00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:15,128
-It was an accident.
-That went well.
380
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:18,340
Come on, secret emergency money
underwear drawer.
381
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,675
Nothing. And so many holes
in the underwear.
382
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,385
Why does she keep these?
383
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,554
-(yelps)
-Are you looking for Mom's
secret cash stash?
384
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,473
Hey.
I told you not to follow me.
385
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,058
You look like a different guy from behind.
386
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,517
Huh.
What's this?
387
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,478
"I.O.U. seven dollars.
Love, Linda."
388
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:32,979
Why would she write herself I.O.U.s?
389
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,189
GENE:
Because she's on it.
390
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:35,690
Dad, what's happening?
391
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:37,067
Why do you need emergency money?
392
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,902
And where's Mom?
She should be back by now.
393
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,613
-What's going on?
-Was Mom taken and you
need to pay her ransom?
394
00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:44,449
Should we call Liam Neeson?
Do we need some Neeson?
395
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:48,161
-I bet he drives a Nissan.
-(hyperventilating)
396
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,580
Tina, kids, calm down.
Everything's okay.
397
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:53,166
Bull-doody.
Give us some answers, old man.
398
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:56,127
(sighs) Okay, fine.
While she was on her walk,
399
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:59,714
your mom got a ticket,
and we have to go pay the ticket
400
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:02,425
but I don't have enough cash
and the banks are all closed.
401
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,135
-Mom got a ticket?
-Yes.
402
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,929
It's just a ticket?
So she's fine? Phew.
403
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,014
Tina, I know
this is a little awkward, but...
404
00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,016
you don't have
any babysitting money, do you?
405
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,477
Like, $18?
I'll-I'll pay you back tomorrow.
406
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,437
With interest.
50%, I get half.
407
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,398
-Tina, let's do this.
-I don't have any.
408
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:17,982
I spent it all on Boys 4 Now perfume.
409
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,819
Pituitary by Boyz 4 Now.
It's nasty.
410
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:24,197
(sighs) I think I have an idea
of how to get some money.
411
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,157
Wait a minute,
what did Mom get a ticket for?
412
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:27,784
I promised her I wouldn't tell you.
413
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,619
-Jaywalking?
-Walking way too loud?
414
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:32,872
-Did her boob fall out again?
-No. Wait, her boob fell out?
415
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:35,250
At the store once.
She didn't notice for a while.
416
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,376
She's fun.
417
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:37,794
-Was she trespassing?
-No.
418
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,254
-Carjacking?
-No.
419
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,256
Flapjacking?
It shouldn't be illegal.
420
00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,216
No, look, the reason she got a ticket
421
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,427
was not that big of a deal, but I promised
422
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,679
-I wouldn't tell you.
-Why are we stopping here?
423
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,472
Time to say goodbye to an old friend.
424
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,641
Is that a panini maker?
425
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,101
BOB:
It's my CD player.
426
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,853
It's the only thing that truly gets me.
427
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:58,356
So as you can see,
it-it's in great condition.
428
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,942
-Mm...
-I paid probably a lot for it.
429
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:02,986
And it-it has the cassette thingy here
430
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,612
that you plug into the dashboard,
431
00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:07,741
which is basically magic,
and the CD goes there.
432
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:11,286
Oh, it has skip protection,
by the way, so rest easy.
433
00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:13,621
I-I could let it go for $40.
434
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:15,040
I'll give you five bucks for it.
435
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,458
What?
A-Are you crazy?
436
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,752
CDs are coming back.
I-In a big way.
437
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,920
I'm young and hip
and I can vouch for that.
438
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,256
So am I and so can I, daddio.
439
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,674
Five bucks, take it or leave it.
440
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,677
-$18? Final offer.
-Let me handle this, Dad.
441
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:31,222
Hey. Give my dad $18
for his old man music machine.
442
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,058
I'd listen to her if I were you, mister.
443
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,351
She seems loco.
444
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,394
-No.
-Well, I tried.
445
00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,396
Okay, that didn't go great.
446
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,023
But at least I didn't have to lose you.
447
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,941
-To that mean man.
-What are we gonna do now?
448
00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:43,943
Well, your parent-
teacher-student conferences
449
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,820
start in half an hour.
(sighs)
450
00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:47,822
I guess there's one other thing we can do.
451
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,616
-Tell us what Mom did?
-No.
452
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,451
-(phone rings)
-Hello, Teddy?
453
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,453
I deserve this.
454
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,663
I was supposed to be
getting fitty in my 40s
455
00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:57,957
but instead I got poopy in the park.
456
00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:00,001
I'm a bad person rule breaker.
457
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:01,753
No wonder the kids all got detention.
458
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,672
Look at what kind of example I set.
459
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,924
They'll never respect me again after this.
460
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,926
They probably don't want to come
'cause they won't be able
461
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,886
to look me in my public pooping eyes.
462
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,180
That's why they're taking so long.
463
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:14,224
-What are you in for?
-Attempted to sell drugs
464
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,351
to a state trooper.
You?
465
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:19,396
-Public defecation.
-Oh.
466
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,858
So, you need $18?
467
00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:25,902
-Yep.
-Is it okay if I only have a 20?
468
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,904
Yeah, that's fine, Teddy.
Thank you.
469
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,739
Do you want to give me
the two dollars' change now,
470
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,741
or just owe me the whole 20?
471
00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:33,576
I-I'll owe you 20, Teddy.
472
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,370
I'm so sorry, we're-we're in a big rush.
473
00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:36,830
I can't believe Linda got a ticket
474
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,373
and you won't tell me what it's for.
475
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,709
Probably flapjacking.
(chuckles)
476
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,503
He won't tell us, either.
He's keeping that mustache shut.
477
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,296
Except to chew his precious gum.
478
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:46,381
Oh, you got gum?
479
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:48,466
Y-Yeah.
Do-do you want a piece?
480
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,051
I never say no to a piece of gum.
481
00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:52,387
Okay, uh, here you go.
Now if I could just get that...
482
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,723
-Maybe one for now, one for later?
-(sighs)
483
00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:57,100
-Okay, fine. Here.
-Big night for me, too, I guess.
484
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,102
-Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.
-I'm just bouncing off the walls.
485
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,938
-Going through scenarios,
you know, pre-improvising.
-Right.
486
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,607
-Yep.
-Who knows. Who knows what
the night holds, right, Bobby?
487
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,277
-Mm-hmm.
-Ah. Maybe I'll think of some improvs,
488
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,988
maybe I won't, maybe my mind
will just go blank.
489
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,531
Okay, fine.
Teddy, I'll come.
490
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,158
I'll come and yell out "underpants."
491
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,951
Oh, really?
That's great.
492
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,661
Because you weren't that into it before.
493
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:18,455
Yeah, no, yeah.
It's-it's gonna be great.
494
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,749
So, anyway, Teddy, we really have to go.
495
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:23,084
We have parent-teacher-student
conferences in 20 minutes.
496
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:25,962
Gosh, I-I'm just dying to know
what Linda's ticket was for.
497
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:28,673
I bet it was something great
and the cops just misunderstood.
498
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:30,383
Like stealing a cloud.
499
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:32,385
-It was for public pooping, okay?
-(all gasp)
500
00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:34,387
I mean, allegedly.
I mean, not that.
501
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:36,848
I was improvising.
Forget I said anything.
502
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:39,267
I'm taking the 20.
Bye.
503
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:40,560
Wow.
504
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:41,978
Mmm.
Just chew it, Teddy.
505
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:44,647
Don't swallow it.
(gulps) Damn it!
506
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,028
Okay, you guys have to pretend
507
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:51,488
I didn't tell you what your mom did.
508
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,740
May-may or may not have done, I mean.
509
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,492
Y-You have to erase that from your minds.
510
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,993
There are some things
your father tells you
511
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,411
that you never forget.
512
00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,038
And "your mom got a ticket
for public defecation"
513
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:01,956
is definitely one of them.
514
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,667
I can't believe this
and I can't believe I learned
515
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,085
a new word for poop today.
516
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,711
Defecation, defecation, defecation,
517
00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:08,254
-(grumbles)
-defecation, defecation, de...
518
00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:10,298
Dead.
They're all dead.
519
00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:12,008
Bob, Tina,
520
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:15,178
Gene, Louise-- dead.
521
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,097
That's why they aren't gettin' me.
522
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:19,015
I've got no one and nothing in this world.
523
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:20,225
I live here now.
524
00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:22,560
Can I-can I switch cells?
525
00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:25,397
Hi, we're here to pay the fine
for Linda Belcher. Here it is.
526
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,856
In small bills.
527
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,233
Great.
Why is it wet?
528
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,193
-Is that sweat?
-Probably.
529
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,571
20, 25, 26...
530
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:34,989
We're kind of in a hurry, so...
531
00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:36,991
Well, now I've lost my place.
532
00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:38,410
20, 25...
533
00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,036
It's just, we have the kids'
534
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,454
parent-teacher-student conferences,
535
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:43,873
and we need to get to the school, so...
536
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:46,209
-Oh, let me know how that goes.
-TINA: We got detention today.
537
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,461
That's probably already in your system.
538
00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:50,130
I don't know if that's how it works.
539
00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:51,715
Yeah, we had a meeting
about it with the chief.
540
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:52,924
Oh, God.
541
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:55,260
Hi, honey. Sorry it took
so long to get here.
542
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:58,013
There were, um, some, uh, money things.
543
00:18:58,096 --> 00:18:59,931
It's fine.
Hi, kids.
544
00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:01,808
-Hi, Mom.
-Hey, there.
-Hello, Mother.
545
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:04,144
-You told them, didn't you?
-Told us what?
-No.
546
00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,062
I don't even know what defecation is.
547
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,689
Something you do at church?
548
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,941
Yeah, sorry.
And I told Teddy.
549
00:19:10,025 --> 00:19:12,110
And maybe a guy at the ATM.
550
00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:14,446
-I-I can't really remember.
-Okay, fine.
551
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:16,364
I pooped in public and I got arrested.
552
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,742
Not technically.
You were detained.
553
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,744
-She got detention.
-Thank you.
554
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,580
So, newsflash:
your mom isn't perfect, okay?
555
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,957
What made you think
we thought you were perfect?
556
00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:28,084
Yeah, you're a work in progress.
557
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,170
Hey, we should really finish
this conversation i-in the car.
558
00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,005
Uh, the conferences
start in seven minutes.
559
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:35,425
So we should leave jail and go do that.
560
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,886
So you thought I was gonna say no TV?
561
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:40,680
-Kind of?
-I would never. I'm not a monster.
562
00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:43,808
TV's almost my favorite child.
If I had a favorite.
563
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,268
We do celebrate its birthday.
564
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,936
And you thought we'd never respect you
565
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,563
or listen to you again?
566
00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:50,982
Well, yeah.
Why would you, after all this?
567
00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:52,984
Are you serious?
You did time.
568
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:54,778
I respect you more than ever now.
569
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,113
Yeah, you've changed, man.
You got hard.
570
00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:59,157
And we also kind of
don't want to end up like you.
571
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,784
-(laughs softly)
-So I...
572
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,285
kind of scared you straight?
573
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,037
-GENE: Damn straight.
-Well, then, good.
574
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,747
-BOB: Okay, let's go in.
-LINDA: Wait a sec. Listen.
575
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,791
-We're already late.
-So we'll be a little late.
576
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:10,168
Here's the thing: it is important
577
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,670
for everyone to follow the rules.
578
00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:13,755
But sometimes we make mistakes.
579
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:16,049
Some we can control,
like putting a hot dog
580
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:18,468
in a pencil sharpener, and some we can't.
581
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,261
-Like clenching your sphynxter.
-"Sphincter."
582
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:21,429
-What did I say?
-Never mind.
583
00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:23,014
But as long as we're trying,
584
00:20:23,098 --> 00:20:25,183
we'll all be okay, you know?
585
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,310
-(coughs) You pooped in a bush.
-Look at me.
586
00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:30,397
Any of you bring this up
inside of that school, ever,
587
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:31,940
the TV goes in the ocean.
588
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:34,109
-(shouts)
-Got it.
-We won't, ever!
589
00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:36,695
-You, too, Bob.
-I'm so scared of you right now.
590
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:39,280
Good.
Now somebody get me a baby wipe.
591
00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:40,323
TEDDY:Okay.
592
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:41,658
So we need a suggestion.
593
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,659
Anything at all.
594
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,577
-Underpants.
-Chicken wings.
595
00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:47,288
Oh, chicken wings.
I got a great story about chicken wings.
596
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,791
I mean, i-it's a thing
I'm just coming up with now.
597
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:51,876
-Okay, chicken wings.
-What?
598
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,920
Ah, one order of chicken wings, please.
599
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:55,797
-(chuckles)
-Oh, my God.
600
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,842
Uh, take it easy, sir.
Who brought this guy? Uh...
601
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,918
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