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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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He's anxious already. If you go in, he'll feel pressured.
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And then it'll be a crisis. And this isn't a crisis?
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Maybe Alison's right. Ben, it's all right.
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Just trying to help. And on your side, by the way.
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Is it OK with you if me and a new friend live here?
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That's OK with me.
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Can we all raise a glass to Ralph and Katie?
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ALL: To Ralph and Katie!
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This is for the weekend. I've just booked it. Thank you!
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Are you coming to bed? Yeah, I'll be up in a minute.
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Yeah. Sure.
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In a minute. Ben?
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♪ I said, Who's that girl there?
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♪ I wonder what went wrong So that she had to roam the streets
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♪ She don't do major credit cards I doubt she does receipts
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♪ It's all not quite legitimate
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♪ And what a scummy man
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♪ Just give him half a chance I bet he'll rob you if he can
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♪ Can see it in his eyes, yeah, that he's got a driving ban
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♪ Amongst some other offences
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♪ And I've seen him with girls of the night
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♪ And he told Roxanne to put on her red light
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♪ They're all infected But he'll be all right
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♪ Cos he's a scumbag, don't you know?
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♪ I said he's a scumbag, don't you know... ♪
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You still feeling all right? Not too jiggered yet?
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I'm fine, Grandad. And for the record, I would crawl home
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on my hands and knees before I got in that thing. Right you are.
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♪ Although you're trying not to listen... ♪
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Right. It won't be me picking you up after school.
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Remember? You go to your dad's tonight.
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It's not going to be you. That's right.
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Handshake or hug?
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Oh! This is a surprise. Oh, yeah.
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Good morning, Joe.
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We've got your special guest coming in today, haven't we?
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Yes, thank you.
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I thought you weren't due till tomorrow.
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I finished the job early.
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As much as I enjoy the cultural offerings of Derby,
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I just thought it... Oh, I'm so sorry. Just give me one sec.
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Clare! You got a minute?
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Your grandma was very tetchy at this stage as well.
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I'm not tetchy. I just don't want a ride in a wheelbarrow.
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You might have no choice in the matter.
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Your grandma fainted a lot in her final trimester -
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especially with Eddie.
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Of course she did.
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I'm not kidding you.
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I pushed both of ours around in one of these.
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That explains so much.
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Blokes didn't push prams round here in the '80s
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and my two were monsters.
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You can't say that about your own babies.
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I think you'll find you're the only one who CAN say that
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about your own babies.
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Ah, it'll be lovely to have a baby to push around in this barrow again.
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Well, there's a sentence to melt the heart.
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Shit!
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I've got to go.
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I'm sorry! I've got to go.
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Kitchen stuff is in the box marked "Kitchen stuff"
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apart from that new set of pans I bought you.
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Pillows don't need to go in boxes, they only take up room.
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Unbelievable! What time do you call this?
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We told Katie we'd be there at 10.30!
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I'm here now, aren't I?
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Why is there a wheelbarrow outside? Where's the van?
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What van? I thought we'd do it in the barrow.
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He's not got a lot of stuff.
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You can't be serious!
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It'll be a couple of trips or something.
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HORN HONKS Oh, that'll be Paul - with the van.
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You bastard! HE LAUGHS
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Now, will you calm down?
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I was calm till you got here!
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KNOCKING ON DOOR
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Morning, guys.
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Morning, Ralph.
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Big day. Big day! PAUL LAUGHS
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Right, I'll come up there and you can show me what to load up first.
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I hope you've soft-wrapped your breakables
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if that doesn't sound too dodgy.
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Everything's under control.
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I know it's a big day for you - huge, probably the biggest day
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of your life since you actually had Ralph. Bigger.
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I'm just trying to help you stay calm and keep it in perspective.
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Thanks.
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Bloody hell, Ralph. How many seasons do you go back...?
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Here you go. I'll roll that up for you.
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I've packed your DVDs in with your CDs downstairs.
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Thanks.
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And your books too.
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I hope you're going to have enough storage space in your bedroom,
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once Katie's things are in there too.
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Leave Cantona up.
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No problem, boss.
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I'll do these downstairs. Get out your way.
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Is that the one the tunnel's behind? HE CHUCKLES
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No?
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You OK?
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His United posters - I'm not sure where he's going to put them.
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Oh, tell me he's left us Eric Cantona?
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Yeah. That's the one he's hiding the tunnel behind.
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Shawshank Redemption?
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Anyone?
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Sorry!
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Sorry. It's the Summer Fair Raffle Prizes. It's the bane of my life.
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Thanks for waiting.
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Aren't you going to be late for work?
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I'm not going to work today.
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I'm giving myself the day off.
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We need to find somewhere quiet and talk.
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I mean, I... I need to talk and it can't wait.
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Van's loaded.
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Your mum's saying that we better get going.
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We're not taking all this lot, are we?
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We're going to need more bubble wrap if we are.
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No. Just checking it's OK.
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Yeah, it's a great set up you've got here.
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Great place to escape.
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Not that married life's going to turn you to drink or anything.
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No. It's good marriage.
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Yeah, yeah, it is.
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It can be.
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Listen, if you need anything, any help - you and Katie -
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any advice, you can always come to me.
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You're part of the family.
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You're divorced.
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Yeah, no, yeah.
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And Eddie.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, no... He's... He's divorced too.
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And so is my mum.
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True. True.
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On the plus side, it's a testament to your optimism
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that you got married with absolutely no positive role models
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in your life, whatsoever.
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I just need you to drive the van.
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Understood.
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OK, I think that's about right.
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Do you want to sit with your visitor, at the front,
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or with the rest of the class like this?
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Let me see now.
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Transmission. Let's think about the chair.
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Here...
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..or there?
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OK. That's good.
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Then she won't be nervous because she'll know that you are with her.
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Exactly.
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And you won't be nervous, will you?
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I won't be nervous.
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Who's your visitor, Joe? Is it Aslan?
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Joy Division. 1979.
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Oh, hello!
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I just wanted to hear it again.
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I've never had my own front door before!
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I'm your first visitor? Yes! Come on in.
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So I'm not your first visitor?
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I'm not even your first pregnant visitor.
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Jean doesn't count. She's my social worker.
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Oh, wow! Fantastic!
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Thank you!
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First year of university, I lived off toasties.
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There's no food on Earth that can't be made better
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by putting it in toast.
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I'd hug you but you're massive.
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LAUGHS: Don't even try.
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So are you ready for married life?
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Am I, Jean? You are now you've got that.
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You and Ralph are, like...
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Well, you're what I want.
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Not with your baby's dad?
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No.
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Where is he? Australia.
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Did you send him there? No. He's there as part of his course.
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He'll be involved in the baby's life. He just won't be my partner.
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He won't be my "Ralph".
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Books in here?
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Right, get some pictures on this wall
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and then I'll talk you and Ralph through the fuse box!
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This is bedding, Katie, so you might want to take it upstairs yourself.
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I'll do that. LOUISE CLEARS THROAT
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Then again, good idea for you to do it, Katie.
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Here's to interfering families.
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I'll see you later.
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I love your new place.
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Bye, Ralph!
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Right, I'll get the kettle on.
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I'll do it. I'll help.
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JEAN: Bye, Rebecca! Bye, Jean!
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Then the lads can have a go at tuning the telly, eh, Ralph?
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RALPH: If you like.
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All important things need a safe place.
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Utility bills, list of phone numbers,
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and, most important of all, keys.
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Katie and me have labelled them up.
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Best test them to make sure they work.
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I'll take these upstairs.
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There you are, my darling.
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One each.
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Thank you, my darling.
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Romance is one thing,
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but making sure the keys open the doors is another.
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We will test them.
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When you've gone.
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Of course.
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Of course. Maurice!
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I've got the pictures to hang yet.
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I think Ralph and Katie have got a million things to do
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and we're getting in the way.
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Oh, right! Yes. I see.
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These are emergency keys, for emergencies.
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Understood. Good luck.
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Good luck, love.
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Big day. Big day!
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Remember, Ralph - play the game, not the occasion.
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Matt Busby said that.
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You, young man, have done it.
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Like you said you would -
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lovely missus, your own place,
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independent.
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This is the proudest day of my life.
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And it should be yours too.
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And... Come on, Maurice.
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Can we please leave this lovely couple to it?
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We'll be invited for tea soon enough.
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Well, we could arrange it now. No, we couldn't. No.
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What's this about? Have you taken another job away?
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No. No, it's a good job.
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I just thought I'd rather be here, seeing you, and, erm,
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I thought it might have been nice if you had said, "Don't go."
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I wouldn't ask you not to take a job for my sake...
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Well, maybe if you had at least said, "Do you have to go?"
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I actually thought after the weekend away
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that you might be glad to see the back of me for a while.
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That's not how couples work, is it?
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In my experience, it kind of is, yeah.
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So you think that we are a couple, then?
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What is this?
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While I was away, I was thinking about how we get on.
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I reckon the truth is the thing that you like most about me is...
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Is how I get on with Joe and how he gets on with me.
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Is that a bad thing?
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Yes, because every time I see you, my heart beats faster.
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Is that love, do you think, or cholesterol?
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Maybe I need to just feel that there's something more.
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We're OK, aren't we?
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No, I-I don't think we are.
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We need to sort it.
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Or else...
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..we should end it.
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Yeah.
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If that's how you feel, we should end it.
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I'll put the kettle on.
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SHE SOBS
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Maurice?
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Which one of these two do you think's at the bottom?
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I think it might be... KNOCKING ON DOOR
259
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,560
Oh! I think your visitor has arrived, Joe.
260
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,200
Do you want to let her in, Joe?
261
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:44,880
You came.
262
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:47,120
I said I would, didn't I?
263
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:51,000
Hey, Rebecca. Come in. We're just about to start circle time.
264
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:54,920
Let's start tidying all these things up...
265
00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:02,320
To be honest, I thought you'd have put up more of a fight. Otherwise...
266
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:03,640
..I wouldn't have ordered.
267
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,360
I was kind of hoping you would be more long-term in your thinking,
268
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,000
what with being a gardener.
269
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,280
Nothing grows overnight.
270
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,240
Except cress. Cress grows overnight.
271
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,520
But we've only known each other a few months.
272
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,600
I've just come out of a 20-year marriage.
273
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,200
You've been divorced for eight years.
274
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,120
You know, you're ready for something more involved, more complicated...
275
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:27,520
Yes, if you like, complicated, overwhelming, life-changing even.
276
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,720
I want you to want me like I want you.
277
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,280
And...you don't.
278
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:32,400
That's not true.
279
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,000
And I don't think you ever will.
280
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,320
I had a child at 18 and then another child.
281
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,120
They needed me, so what I wanted for me,
282
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,760
that's never really been a question.
283
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,200
Maybe I just need a bit more time for that to be a question?
284
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,240
PHONE VIBRATES ON TABLE
285
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:51,480
I'm not looking at it.
286
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,080
I know. But you want to.
287
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,480
And that's fine.
288
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:58,680
Look, I'm always going to be Joe's mum over and above anything else
289
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,080
in my life... I know. And I'm always going to be Molly's dad.
290
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,920
Yeah, but it's different. It's... It's different for me.
291
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:05,360
I'm always going to be Joe's mum
292
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,440
so I'm always going to be checking my phone, I'm sorry.
293
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:09,480
Don't be.
294
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:15,960
I really like you. I just wish I was further on.
295
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,880
It's been two years since I split up with Paul.
296
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,000
I've only just started feeling anything other than,
297
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,360
"Can I get through this day?"
298
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,960
I'm not ready to feel those things yet, not for anyone.
299
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:26,880
And I wish I was cos you're lovely.
300
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,480
Not lovely enough... No! You are lovely.
301
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,400
It's bad timing.
302
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:37,320
If I'd met you when I was just... Things were a bit more sorted.
303
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:42,480
Look, right now, maybe we could just be mates? Maybe?
304
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:43,760
Yeah, course.
305
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,920
Cos Joe's got used to you, he really likes you...
306
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,640
We could still be mates.
307
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:48,920
And I can still see Joe.
308
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,440
Yeah.
309
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,600
Handshake or hug?
310
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,120
HE MOUTHS
311
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,560
Hiya! You kept ringing. You in town? So am I.
312
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,480
Have you eaten?
313
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:58,520
I'm moving in with Louise!
314
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,640
Right.
315
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,960
I always wondered where you kept the treasure, Maurice.
316
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,800
She's going to be lonely now Ralph has gone.
317
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,560
She needs me there. Makes sense.
318
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,800
She doesn't know you're moving in, does she?
319
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:13,960
I realise it's what you need.
320
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,400
And I looked at Ralph and Katie and I thought, "You know what?
321
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:17,680
"That looks all right."
322
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,840
You're moving in? I mean, I spend most of my time here anyway.
323
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,280
I just think I should make it official.
324
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,560
You're moving in. Nothing'll change. Not really.
325
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,120
No, I don't suppose it will.
326
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:29,920
Darling, I'm home!
327
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,680
You're not going to be doing that, are you?
328
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,840
No, no! Of course not, of course not.
329
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,200
I'll just find somewhere good for this?
330
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,520
KNOCK ON DOOR Coo-ee!
331
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,640
Door was open - house-warming cake.
332
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,520
Ah! Thanks, Sarah. That's nice.
333
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,920
It's the sort of thing that friends do for each other.
334
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:12,960
It is indeed.
335
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,640
Although not all friends are as good as you.
336
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,520
Oh, I don't know about that.
337
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:20,560
Are you OK?
338
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,520
I'll, erm, just...
339
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,200
I'll just leave this here, shall I?
340
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,960
And leave you and Mark to get on.
341
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,240
Oh, no, no! Grab a paintbrush.
342
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,560
There's plenty more touching up to be done upstairs...
343
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,520
I can't. ..so to speak. Oh? OK. Sorry.
344
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,000
I've got a slow cooker at home.
345
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:46,360
Good.
346
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,600
Good for you.
347
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:55,320
And I-I find when I'm using it, things taste so much better.
348
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,120
Yes. Good. Yeah.
349
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,280
So, I was thinking that if...
350
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:07,080
If you and me were the ingredients that then, we would...
351
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,000
Taste so much better?
352
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,920
I was just thinking that we should... We should take it slowly -
353
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:22,080
this...thing, this situation.
354
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,880
We've had two kisses in two months.
355
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,960
I've heard of pandas hooking up quicker.
356
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,480
It went a little bit further than that at the wedding,
357
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,320
for me at least.
358
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:35,520
I just think we need to slow it down, take stock.
359
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:40,800
Add stock, if you're going with the whole slow cooker...thing.
360
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,800
Be friends, for a while.
361
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:47,120
Not lovers. Which we aren't?
362
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,320
No.
363
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,480
Are you saying that we should take it slowly or...
364
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:01,240
..not take it anywhere?
365
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,560
I'm sorry if I led you on.
366
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,480
You've hardly led me on.
367
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,600
Enjoy the cake.
368
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:22,840
Erm, it's got an experimental, er, flour substitute in it,
369
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:26,000
so I'd, erm... I'd welcome feedback.
370
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,040
Tastes all right for sad cake, doesn't it?
371
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,120
It's nice to have friends.
372
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,360
The occupational therapist used to say that a lot at my school.
373
00:21:57,360 --> 00:21:59,840
I'm not sure if Sarah's a friend or...
374
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,920
..something more.
375
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,360
There are friends who are close friends
376
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:12,320
and...sometimes one special friend,
377
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,640
boyfriend or a girlfriend.
378
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,480
I'm aware of the ground rules, Mark.
379
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,680
Did she hug you goodbye like a friend, or kiss you on the lips,
380
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,960
or touch you intimately like a special friend?
381
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,040
It was just a hug.
382
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:30,440
Wasn't even a great hug if I'm being honest.
383
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,320
PAUL SIGHS
384
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,960
Change can be good.
385
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,160
The occupational therapist said that too.
386
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,640
Did you ever believe it?
387
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,440
I believed it about trainers.
388
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,200
Not so much haircuts.
389
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:54,040
What about me and Joe moving in here?
390
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,960
Good change.
391
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,160
Rebecca having a baby?
392
00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,800
Good change.
393
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,280
Me promoting you?
394
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,200
Yes.
395
00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:07,680
I'm promoting you, Mark.
396
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:12,280
At The Fellside. Head Waiter, hey?
397
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,240
It'll mean a pay rise.
398
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:15,920
Bit more responsibility.
399
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,960
You might have to help some new staff settle in.
400
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,680
But I'll be there, to keep an eye on you.
401
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:21,960
I think you're ready.
402
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:24,520
Do you fancy it?
403
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:27,120
I'll get a girlfriend.
404
00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:31,720
Well, I can't help you with that bit... What will it say?
405
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,200
What? What will what say?
406
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:36,000
My name badge. Oh!
407
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:42,800
Your name badge. It'll say... "Mark, Head Waiter"?
408
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,040
Yes. Yeah?
409
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,160
I'll do it. Yay!
410
00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,280
After we've cleared the kitchen.
411
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,120
One job at a time, Paul.
412
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:07,040
Quite right. Don't want to get overexcited. No.
413
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:08,360
We wouldn't want that.
414
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,720
This is nice, eh?
415
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,000
I should probably get me own mug.
416
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,040
If you like.
417
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,280
Maybe something to go with your shoe box?
418
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:41,960
So, everybody, today is Joe's turn for Show and Tell.
419
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:46,560
And he hasn't brought in a pet, oh, no.
420
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,320
What is it? He hasn't brought in a drawing.
421
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:54,720
What is it? But he has brought in someone very special to him.
422
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,520
This is Joe's sister, Rebecca.
423
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,280
CLASS: Hi, Rebecca!
424
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,520
Yes. And can you tell us why it's so special
425
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,680
that Rebecca is here with us?
426
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:07,920
The friend.
427
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,360
The friend? What?
428
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:13,480
Joe's friend is what Joe and I call the baby I'm having.
429
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:17,440
So, Rebecca has got a baby inside her!
430
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,320
Is that Rebecca baby?
431
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,440
Rebecca's baby is in the tummy.
432
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,480
Yeah, and she's very kindly agreed to come in today
433
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:25,880
to talk to us about that.
434
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,040
In private. Er, that... That's right.
435
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,320
So, Rebecca will have the baby in private
436
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,960
and then she will show the baby to everybody.
437
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:38,040
And maybe she'll bring in the baby to meet us.
438
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:39,400
Wouldn't that be great?
439
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,440
I don't think that would be a good idea.
440
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,600
Why not, Joe? Why not, Joe?
441
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,520
The baby might break stuff.
442
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:47,880
I agree with that!
443
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,360
Oh, OK, well...
444
00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:51,440
Before we start, I-I might need to...
445
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:52,600
Yes, of course.
446
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,920
We can start with the joys of bladder control!
447
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,320
SHE GROANS
448
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,200
Daytime drinking?
449
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,720
A sight to bring a tear to any brewery executive's eye.
450
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,800
It's a lime and soda.
451
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,560
Is that what you're calling yourself now, a brewery executive?
452
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:39,840
Amongst other things.
453
00:26:41,360 --> 00:26:43,280
How come you're up here?
454
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,960
Don't tell Dad, but we're buying up another brewery.
455
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,960
I really have gone to the dark side.
456
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,080
More to the point, what are you doing here?
457
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,400
Yeah, it's just a little place I come to get chucked.
458
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,840
Can you recognise him from that? Yeah, that is Joe!
459
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,240
That is a picture of Joe.
460
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:06,120
I can see it.
461
00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:07,760
Mm-hm. When he was a baby.
462
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,480
And that is Joe now.
463
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,360
And who do we think...? That's...
464
00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:14,640
Who do you think it is?
465
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:15,840
It's Heather!
466
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,720
That's right, Tanya. It's Heather, yeah. Yeah, it's me.
467
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,840
It's a picture of me... You're sitting on the sofa.
468
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:25,040
I'm sitting on the sofa, aren't I? A long, long time ago,
469
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,560
when I was a... You've got a dress and socks.
470
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,760
Yeah, yeah. I've got socks on as well, yeah.
471
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,160
Ah, thank you! That's lovely.
472
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:37,920
Oh, thank you, Tanya! That's really lovely.
473
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,720
See, that's the way that the world sees you when they look at you now -
474
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,920
they're just not as honest as our kids.
475
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,240
You will bring the baby in to see us, won't you?
476
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,080
INDISTINCT
477
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:54,560
So, everybody, Rebecca is going to have to go quite soon,
478
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,120
so if you all want to come back and join the circle.
479
00:27:57,120 --> 00:28:01,880
And then any questions that you want to ask, now is probably the time.
480
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,480
That's it, good lad.
481
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:05,760
Thank you, Joe.
482
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,600
He was good-looking, he was kind.
483
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,200
He was great with Joe.
484
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,320
Even Dad liked him.
485
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:13,840
Have you got his number?
486
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:16,600
I'm just not ready. I-I...
487
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,720
..wish I was.
488
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,840
This is where you tell me that I've done the right thing.
489
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,800
You have done the right thing.
490
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:27,840
Have I?
491
00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:33,000
SIGHS: What would a grown-up do in these circumstances?
492
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,320
What are you asking me for? You've been a grown-up
493
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,200
since you were nine years old. You're the best grown-up I know.
494
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,040
Since Mum died, you're the only grown-up I know.
495
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:42,800
She would have known what to do.
496
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,920
Maybe, Dad would know... Dad? ..what to do!
497
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,120
THEY LAUGH
498
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:51,240
Yeah.
499
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,400
Dad would think he knew, Mum would know.
500
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,000
That was the difference.
501
00:28:55,000 --> 00:29:00,400
She'd have just said, "Be honest. With him, with yourself."
502
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:01,880
She didn't believe in secrets.
503
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:03,600
Oh, I don't know about that.
504
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,840
What? You knew about the salsa lessons, right?
505
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:09,760
Mum had salsa lessons?
506
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:11,960
Yes! Yes.
507
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:13,360
Did Dad know?
508
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,760
I don't think he did. I think that might have been the point -
509
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:17,840
a little part of the world that was just for her.
510
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,200
Well, I can believe living with Dad for all those years
511
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:23,680
would drive a woman to do that. SHE LAUGHS
512
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:28,200
Ben's right about your phone. You do check it a lot.
513
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:29,520
It is annoying.
514
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,160
They don't pull their punches, do they?
515
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,840
That Q&A was far more graphic than I thought it was going to be.
516
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,000
We do like our kids to use the proper terms -
517
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,200
no "foo foo" or "diggle" here. THEY LAUGH
518
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,000
It weren't too traumatic, though, were it?
519
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,800
I mean, that was the liveliest Show and Tell
520
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,920
since the Reptile Man came in. Er... I won't ask.
521
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:49,760
Erm... Oh, just wait there. We've got something for you!
522
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,600
Ah, you really shouldn't have! It's just a small thank you.
523
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,280
Well, we usually do a bottle of wine, but that might be more useful.
524
00:29:56,280 --> 00:30:00,280
Thank you. And thank you for being Joe's teacher.
525
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,480
Oh, well, we do our best, you know.
526
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:07,240
Bye, Joe.
527
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,360
Bye now.
528
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,800
Who do you think this is for?
529
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:16,960
Not me. Not you.
530
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:19,320
My friend.
531
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,680
That's right! It's from the kids in your class.
532
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:26,000
I liked the kids in your class, Joe.
533
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,080
Do you need your headphones, Joe?
534
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,800
Don't worry. It won't be a long conversation.
535
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:32,600
It was nice for me to see you there.
536
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,640
Because now, when I think about you at school,
537
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,600
I can picture you in my head.
538
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,560
Is it a good picture or a bad picture?
539
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:43,440
It's a very good picture, cos you seem happy there.
540
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,520
And you do stuff that's good.
541
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:46,880
And that's a good feeling.
542
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,560
I think the car wants to go home now.
543
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,280
I think he probably does, yeah.
544
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,560
I've, er, got a pupil in 20 minutes,
545
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,600
so you're going to have to make yourself scarce. No problem!
546
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,080
I could go earlier if you like?
547
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,320
Any time you want me out of the house, just say the word.
548
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:16,480
No problemo.
549
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:21,160
Why are you talking like that?
550
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:23,160
Like what?
551
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,120
I dunno. It doesn't sound like you.
552
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:27,160
Right.
553
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:32,480
I'll go and give the lads a hand at the fire station.
554
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,600
DRILL WHIRS
555
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:45,960
All right, Ralph?
556
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:49,160
I thought now would be a good time to hang a few pictures.
557
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:50,840
We've done it.
558
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:52,080
How do you mean?
559
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,000
Katie's dad's done these.
560
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,040
Oh, right.
561
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,840
All of them? Yeah.
562
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,640
Do you want a cup of tea, Maurice?
563
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,280
Er... No, actually. I've got to get round to Paul's.
564
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:14,560
I've got a bit to do there,
565
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,480
and then your mum'll be wondering where I am.
566
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:17,800
Will she?
567
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,480
Hmm. Good job, that.
568
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,760
Your dad's done a good job there, Katie.
569
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,760
I thought you had a pupil. I thought you were at the fire station.
570
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:44,720
They don't need anything. Right.
571
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:49,800
RALPH: No!
572
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:54,680
You're right. They don't need anything.
573
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,360
Do we want any shopping, or shall we go straight home?
574
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,160
Better get used to saying that, eh?
575
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,600
MUSIC: What Is the World Waiting For by The Stone Roses
576
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,240
♪ Any time you want it then it's there
577
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:20,880
♪ All you gotta do is stop it on the corner and ask
578
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:25,720
♪ Say, hey, you don't live today
579
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:27,800
♪ Stop the world
580
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:30,560
♪ Stop the world, I'm getting off... ♪
581
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,280
MUSIC CUTS OUT Oh!
582
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,760
♪ I'm getting off! ♪ My phone's dead.
583
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,080
Do you know what, Joe? We can't do this without music.
584
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,640
SHE SIGHS
585
00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:01,120
I can't plug it in. Sorry.
586
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,120
Ow!
587
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,280
That was a bit sharp.
588
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:10,040
I shouldn't have had that fourth biscuit.
589
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:11,080
Ow!
590
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:14,760
ENGINE STARTS
591
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:16,800
Ow!
592
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:18,880
SHE GROANS
593
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,720
Ow!
594
00:34:22,720 --> 00:34:23,960
Sorry, Joe. Sorry.
595
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,880
I didn't mean to scare you. It just... It really hurts.
596
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:28,680
It really hurts.
597
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:29,720
OK.
598
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,200
It's OK.
599
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,280
SHE GROANS
600
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,000
You are free to come and go as you please, Maurice.
601
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,760
I fit the electronic tag tomorrow.
602
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,040
What? You.
603
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:53,360
Staring out the window.
604
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,200
If you were a dog, you'd have your lead in your mouth.
605
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,520
I might go a quick walk round the block as it happens.
606
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:00,240
If you don't mind?
607
00:35:00,240 --> 00:35:02,840
Of course I don't mind! You don't have to ask me for permission!
608
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:06,280
When did you ever ask me for permission? Righty oh.
609
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:11,840
Do you think I'll need a coat?
610
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:15,320
OK. Enough is enough! I-I can't stand this, Maurice.
611
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,400
I can't do this any more!
612
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:21,240
How do you mean? This arrangement! It's not working out, is it?
613
00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:23,120
It's just not us! You must see that!
614
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,160
It's only been three hours, Louise.
615
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:26,640
Is that all?!
616
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:31,560
I-I think we both know this isn't working out, don't we?
617
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,560
REBECCA: OK, what I'm going to try and do, Joe, is drive.
618
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:40,720
The pains have gone away for now, so if they start again,
619
00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:43,720
I'll stop, all right?
620
00:35:43,720 --> 00:35:45,880
Right, OK.
621
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:49,080
SHE GROANS
622
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,160
OK, we're going to have to stay very calm.
623
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,320
But I think the baby's coming, OK? Do you understand?
624
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:57,440
The friend?
625
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,080
Yeah. The friend. The friend's coming.
626
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:04,360
What should we do?
627
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:07,120
I don't know.
628
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:11,440
Are you hungry?
629
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:12,760
Not right now, no.
630
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,360
SHE GROANS
631
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:21,720
Something happens.
632
00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:23,840
You can say that again!
633
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,840
SHE MOANS
634
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,480
Ow! OK, Joe, Joe.
635
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,360
Just... Just hold my hand, OK?
636
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:32,720
MUSIC: That's Entertainment by The Jam
637
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:38,800
Joe? Joe!
638
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,120
Joe!
639
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,760
SHE GROANS Joe!
640
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,760
SHE GROANS
641
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,680
Joe!
642
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,040
Ah! Joe!
643
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:54,200
♪ A baby wailing and stray dog howling
644
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:57,320
♪ The screech of brakes and lamp light blinking
645
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:03,840
♪ That's entertainment That's entertainment
646
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:11,040
♪ A smash of glass and the rumble of boots
647
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,400
♪ An electric train and a ripped-up phone booth
648
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,840
♪ Paint-splattered walls and the cry of a tomcat... ♪
649
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:19,560
REBECCA: OK. OK.
650
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,520
SHE GROANS
651
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,120
Don't let this happen.
652
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:25,720
Don't let this happen. Hold on.
653
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,520
SHE GROANS
654
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,440
Agh!
655
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,680
♪ Waking up at 6am on a cool warm morning
656
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:46,120
♪ Opening the windows and breathing in petrol
657
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:49,440
♪ An amateur band rehearsing in a nearby yard
658
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:52,720
♪ Watching the telly and thinking about your holidays
659
00:37:52,720 --> 00:37:55,160
♪ That's entertainment... ♪
660
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:57,040
MUSIC ECHOES FROM HEADPHONES
661
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:05,760
Hiya, love. What are you doing out here?
662
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,800
Are you on your own?
663
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,520
Is your mum around, love?
664
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,320
It's called Manchester.
665
00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:18,600
Or your dad? What about your dad?
666
00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:23,680
The new friend is coming.
667
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,080
So you're with a friend? My sister.
668
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,840
Rebecca. But it's private.
669
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,080
I don't want to see her vagina.
670
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:33,200
MUSIC: Common People by Pulp
671
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:39,000
♪ Sing along with the common people
672
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,040
♪ Sing along and it might just get you through
673
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,160
♪ Laugh along with the common people
674
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:48,920
♪ Laugh along even though they're laughing at you
675
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,760
♪ And the stupid things that you do
676
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:57,160
♪ Because you think that poor is cool... ♪
677
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,680
Ben didn't order a dessert by any chance?
678
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,720
CELLPHONE VIBRATES
679
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:09,640
Hello?
680
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:14,320
Yes.
681
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:17,720
Where?
682
00:39:17,720 --> 00:39:20,320
Thank you. I'm on my way. I'm on my way.
683
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:22,280
That was a woman called Sue.
684
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,920
Rebecca has gone into labour in the car.
685
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,080
What car? How is that important?!
686
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,680
I don't know! I'm in shock! I don't know why I said it.
687
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:33,760
Think about this.
688
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:35,800
Why did you move in?
689
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:38,360
Because I thought the time was right.
690
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:41,800
What you and me have got? It works. We don't have to change it.
691
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,280
But Ralph's moved out. I hate the thought of you being lonely.
692
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,120
You moved in here when you'd rather be at home
693
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:47,480
cos you think I'm lonely?
694
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:48,960
Yeah. And I love you for that.
695
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,120
Oh, right. I thought that kind of thing annoyed you.
696
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,920
I love you because you annoy me! Hell, Maurice, some days,
697
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:56,840
the irritation is the only bit of love I have left for you!
698
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:58,400
So you want me to annoy you?
699
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:01,560
Hang on a minute.
700
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:03,040
What did you just say then?
701
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:07,440
I said I love you, Maurice.
702
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:13,400
And you don't have to try to annoy me, believe me.
703
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,600
You are infuriating.
704
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,520
Ah! Louise chucked you out already?
705
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:40,040
Yes! Because she loves me!
706
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,440
CELLPHONE VIBRATES
707
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,600
Hello?
708
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,760
Whoa, whoa! Calm down!
709
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:49,520
What?
710
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:50,680
What?!
711
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,040
Excuse me!
712
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,000
Hello!
713
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,560
Someone should go and see what the problem is.
714
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:04,240
She's in labour. She's fine.
715
00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:06,400
Alison will come and get us when they've any news.
716
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,560
She's early. You forget I'm emergency-trained.
717
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,240
As a firefighter.
718
00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:14,720
So unless the maternity unit's on fire or there's a baby up a tree,
719
00:41:14,720 --> 00:41:16,080
sit down, eh?
720
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:19,480
He's back - the hero of the hour.
721
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,160
Thanks, Dad! I meant Joe. I know.
722
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,240
You did get your dad decaf, didn't you?
723
00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:31,000
Take them off, I'll give you this.
724
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,480
What are you doing, Maurice?
725
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:41,320
Are you going to tell us how you knew what to do?
726
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:44,400
The seat was wet, in the car.
727
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,640
Serves you right, Dad.
728
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:48,000
So that's how you knew?
729
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,680
Then, "Ow! Ow! Ow!"
730
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:51,760
Clever.
731
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:56,520
It's going to be a hell of a valet job on your upholstery, Tom.
732
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,240
Have you thought about that?
733
00:41:58,240 --> 00:42:00,240
Not till you mentioned it.
734
00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:03,200
Rest assured I'll think of little else now.
735
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:04,960
Someone must know what's going on.
736
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,280
Shall we call security?
737
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:10,120
Do they still have a shoot to kill policy?
738
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:11,880
REBECCA MOANS Well done, love!
739
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,320
You're a brilliant girl. You can do this!
740
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,480
Not long now. Talk to me, Mum.
741
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:18,400
Did you hear that? Not long now.
742
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,840
Not birth talk. Something else. Anything else.
743
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,600
Ben finished with me today. That's good. Yeah!
744
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,800
That's good. I mean, it's not good for you, but...
745
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:30,600
He said that I made his heart beat faster every time that he saw me.
746
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:33,040
Like romantically or from a medical condition?
747
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,480
That's exactly what I said.
748
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:39,320
Did he laugh? No. No, he asked if it was the same for me.
749
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,680
REBECCA GROANS
750
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:46,920
Good girl! You're doing really well, you're doing really well.
751
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:50,000
And was it the same for you? No.
752
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,320
Did you tell him that?
753
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:54,640
Oh, it was worse than that. I used a gardening metaphor.
754
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,000
THEY LAUGH
755
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:00,960
She's playing a blinder by all accounts.
756
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,400
She's on the gas and air and she's eight centimetres dilated.
757
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,880
"Fine" would have sufficed, Dad, but thanks.
758
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,840
I've missed you putting me right every five minutes. I know.
759
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:11,240
Got a lot of catching up to do.
760
00:43:11,240 --> 00:43:13,240
You should take me up to the brewery while you're here,
761
00:43:13,240 --> 00:43:15,400
talk me through the changes. Impress me.
762
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:17,040
That'd be a first. I mean it!
763
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:18,760
I'm interested. I've mellowed.
764
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,320
The baby's deadbeat father's not going to make
765
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:24,760
a last-minute appearance, is he?
766
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:28,080
"Mellowed". I doubt it. He's in Australia.
767
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:30,080
Only Australia? No further?
768
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:31,600
He knows she's in labour.
769
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:34,320
I'm going to message him with any news. Oh, very hands-on!
770
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:37,240
It's not like you think, Maurice. I know, I know. It's modern.
771
00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:38,840
It's not like it was in your day.
772
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:40,960
A bloke gets a girl pregnant and disappears?
773
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,040
It's exactly like it was in my day -
774
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:45,280
except they only used to get as far as Carlisle.
775
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,960
The choice might be the same, but the reasons are different.
776
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:49,760
We're going to have to agree to differ.
777
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,360
I'm a feminist.
778
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:54,880
And it was when my dad said that that I realised I was dreaming.
779
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,640
THEY LAUGH
780
00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:00,920
OK, so, he said that I only had light in my eyes
781
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:02,280
when I saw him with Joe.
782
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:04,400
GROANS: He was really nice, though, Mum.
783
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:08,280
OK, Rebecca, don't push. Don't push. Not yet.
784
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:09,880
OK, so I told him...
785
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:13,320
I told him that you and Joe were the most important things in my life
786
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:16,040
and that trusting him with Joe was the highest compliment
787
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:17,960
that I could pay.
788
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:19,640
It's a mistake! It's a mistake.
789
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:22,720
No, it's not, love. We all feel like that at this stage.
790
00:44:22,720 --> 00:44:24,880
No. I mean, ending with Ben.
791
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,040
He was nice. It's a... It's a mistake.
792
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:28,200
Not yet, Rebecca.
793
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:33,240
Don't push. Don't push. Don't push! Nearly there. Nearly there.
794
00:44:33,240 --> 00:44:35,840
MUSIC FROM HEADPHONES: Girls on Film by Duran Duran
795
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:45,800
She should be fully dilated by now if she's anything like her grandma.
796
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,600
My Sandra had a miraculous undercarriage, looking back.
797
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:51,400
Dad, please! That's my mother you're talking about.
798
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:54,120
You were an easy birth. Second births often are because...
799
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:57,200
I think we're probably pretty up on the reasons why, Dad.
800
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:00,920
And straight on the breast.
801
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:05,120
I don't think I'm the first baby in the world to do that.
802
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,960
I'm just saying, you were very easy as a baby.
803
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:09,400
No bother.
804
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:10,440
Thanks.
805
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,640
As long as you were full.
806
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,760
Here it comes. And you took some filling to be fair.
807
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,320
THEY LAUGH
808
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:22,240
And there it is - the insult.
809
00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:25,040
Well, like you say, we've got a lot of catching up to do.
810
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:29,600
Never change, Dad.
811
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:30,840
Piss off!
812
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:34,920
Anything? Anything?
813
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:36,200
She's had a little girl!
814
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,160
Oh, it's a girl! It's a girl! They're both fine.
815
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:40,640
Oh, lovely! Lovely!
816
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,000
THEY LAUGH
817
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:44,160
Maurice!
818
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:47,280
She's got a little girl of her own.
819
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:54,520
Your friend has been born.
820
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:56,240
Rebecca's had a baby girl.
821
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:58,640
It's good.
822
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,920
I don't think we can all go and see her at once.
823
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,400
I think Joe should see her first, don't you?
824
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:11,000
Coming?
825
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,680
Paul, if she's got my ears, don't say anything.
826
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:20,600
Come on then.
827
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,880
BABY MOANS
828
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,680
KNOCK ON DOOR, DOOR OPENS
829
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,160
THEY LAUGH
830
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:48,000
Go on, Joe. Go and say hello.
831
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:57,480
Hello.
832
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:00,960
This is Joe.
833
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:02,880
He's my brother.
834
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:06,080
And he's the best brother anybody could have.
835
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:08,640
He's your first friend.
836
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,000
He sees things other people can't see.
837
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:14,680
And he says things other people can't say.
838
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:16,120
He's got a superpower.
839
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,040
And he knows a lot of songs.
840
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,360
And he's good at walking.
841
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:27,200
And if he wasn't good at walking, you might not even be here now.
842
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:29,440
I think you'll like him.
843
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:30,800
I know you'll like him.
844
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:35,720
I'm Joe.
845
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,120
DOOR OPENS, CLOSES
846
00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:00,120
Come on, Maurice Scott. Get a grip!
847
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:04,360
It's not like you haven't seen a bloody baby before.
848
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:06,440
DOOR SHUTS
849
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:14,360
Are you OK?
850
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:16,680
Yes. I'm...never better.
851
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:20,280
It's a girl. She's had a girl.
852
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:23,280
I know. I got your message. That's why I'm here.
853
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:26,080
And she's beautiful! She's beautiful.
854
00:48:33,720 --> 00:48:35,920
I went back again to see Ralph and Katie.
855
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,320
I knew you would. They let me in this time.
856
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:41,280
But they made me take my shoes off at the door.
857
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:44,560
How were they? Like any other married couple -
858
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:46,800
except they're happy all the time. HE LAUGHS
859
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:56,120
She's lovely. She is, isn't she?
860
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:58,840
You know you can always call me, don't you?
861
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:02,200
Feeding difficulties, sleep disruption, nappy rash,
862
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:04,120
croup, sore nipples.
863
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:05,760
I've had them all.
864
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:06,960
This is your Uncle Eddie
865
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:10,840
and he has a warped and predictable sense of humour.
866
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:14,160
But, seriously, I've been through this very recently.
867
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:15,920
Call me.
868
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:17,840
Or Nicola. Thanks, Eddie.
869
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:20,000
DOOR OPENS Knock-knock!
870
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,120
Hi, Louise. How are you, love?
871
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:23,160
This is the best one.
872
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:25,920
What shall I say?
873
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:28,760
"Meet your daughter"? Yeah. That sounds good.
874
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:30,760
I'm joking. Send it to me. I'll write something.
875
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:32,400
Is this the father you're sending it to?
876
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:35,080
No, I'm sending it to every man I know just to put the wind up them.
877
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:38,360
THEY LAUGH Yeah. Just the dad. Just Danny.
878
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,960
He wants to be involved. Yep.
879
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:43,000
There's nothing like having a photo on your phone
880
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:46,920
to say you're involved. Maurice, shut up or wait outside.
881
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:52,320
Hiya.
882
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:57,680
HE CHUCKLES
883
00:49:57,680 --> 00:49:59,080
Do you want to share this coffee?
884
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:00,920
Oh, no. You're all right.
885
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:05,960
You'd be doing me a favour, honest. Thanks.
886
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,360
Eugh!
887
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:14,000
You taking sugar these days?
888
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,040
No. I pressed the wrong button.
889
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:18,280
I thought you might be reinventing yourself.
890
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:20,240
As a diabetic?
891
00:50:20,240 --> 00:50:23,000
That suits Sarah. She can nurse you back to sparkling health
892
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:27,360
by way of manuka honey and lentil crisps.
893
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:29,840
Lentil crisps are surprisingly moreish.
894
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:31,480
I'll take your word for that.
895
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:33,640
They're like a Puritan Quaver.
896
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:36,520
Although sadly...
897
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,440
..I'll have to be buying my own supply from now on.
898
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:43,360
Me and Sarah are...
899
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:47,320
You know. Oh, I didn't know you were.
900
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:48,920
Well, that's what's so confusing.
901
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:53,480
I'm not sure we were going out - and now I'm not entirely sure
902
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:55,760
what it was that's finished.
903
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:06,920
Ben called it a day today as well.
904
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:08,320
Look, you don't have to say that
905
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:11,200
just to make me feel a bit better on this. I'm not.
906
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:19,840
When did you first realise that you were really bad at life?
907
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:30,440
We're going to need a lot of spare time for Rebecca's baby, anyway.
908
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:33,080
Very true. And thank you for not saying the "grandchild" word.
909
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:34,360
I know. It's terrifying.
910
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:38,720
Do you think she'll be OK?
911
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:42,600
I think she'll be fine. She's strong.
912
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:46,920
I know, but she shouldn't have to be strong, should she, at her age?
913
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:48,920
We'll be there for her.
914
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:49,960
Yeah.
915
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:54,120
Two failures who've just admitted that we don't have a clue
916
00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:55,560
how to do life!
917
00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:01,720
If we don't succeed, we have to fail beautifully.
918
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:06,960
Is that Samuel Beckett?
919
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:08,440
Jurgen Klopp.
920
00:52:10,240 --> 00:52:12,280
THEY LAUGH
921
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:28,160
Baby's head - smells like heaven. Yeah.
922
00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:32,920
What?
923
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,720
Don't go making a fuss.
924
00:52:36,720 --> 00:52:38,960
Will you marry me?
925
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:41,440
You don't have to propose for the sake of the baby, Maurice.
926
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:43,520
You do know it's not ours, don't you?
927
00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:46,520
Say yes.
928
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:47,880
Please say yes, Louise.
929
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:54,720
BABY BABBLES
930
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:09,680
What kept you?
931
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:11,760
Dad wouldn't drive faster than ten miles an hour.
932
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:13,960
Oh, no change there, then.
933
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:16,520
Ramesh, nice to see ya!
934
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:19,360
Turns out Ramesh's uncle was the paramedic
935
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:22,080
that took Rebecca to hospital. Come on.
936
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:23,560
I thought he worked in Blackpool.
937
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:25,880
He moved to Cumbria. He finds it less stressful
938
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:28,000
and the hen parties got too much for him.
939
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,360
Have you had much experience of hen dos, Ramesh?
940
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:32,400
You look a bit washed out, Becky,
941
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:34,920
but I'll give you a digital makeover!
942
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:37,760
Oh, thanks. I don't mean it. You look gorgeous.
943
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,400
And so does... Tom.
944
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:41,800
What?
945
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:43,880
You've got a name, haven't you? No!
946
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:45,480
Not at all! Right, settle down.
947
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:47,800
Come on, you can tell me the name. I won't tell anybody.
948
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:49,760
You'll find out soon enough! Don't worry.
949
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:51,800
What shutter speed are you using?
950
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:54,520
Ramesh, if I'm honest, I'll just be glad to get this lot to shut up
951
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:57,640
and look in the vague direction of the camera.
952
00:53:57,640 --> 00:54:00,280
15 seconds! OK, everyone!
953
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:03,360
Here we go! THEY CHATTER
954
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:04,800
OK. Ready?
955
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:07,800
Say, "Rosie Sandra Hughes"!
956
00:54:07,800 --> 00:54:09,760
What? Rosie Sandra!
957
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:11,600
Oh, that's lovely!
958
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:15,200
It's Grandma's name? Yeah. Do you like it? Yeah.
959
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:16,760
Oh, bloody hell, Dad!
960
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:21,680
Look, look, look!
961
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:23,560
CAMERA BEEPS
962
00:54:25,560 --> 00:54:31,560
MUSIC: I Still Do by I Am Kloot
963
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:33,760
Sub provide by LadyRed
964
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:36,080
♪ When I was a child
965
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:41,280
♪ I looked up at the sky
966
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:44,120
♪ Thought I saw you and I
967
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:49,000
♪ In the clouds passing by
968
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:52,520
♪ When I was a boy
969
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,360
♪ I looked out at the sea
970
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:00,640
♪ Thought I saw you and me
971
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:06,440
♪ In the waves on the breeze
972
00:55:07,720 --> 00:55:10,080
♪ And I
973
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:14,400
♪ I still do
974
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:18,200
♪ I still do
975
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:23,480
♪ I still do
976
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:25,800
♪ When I was a child
977
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:29,880
♪ I had that look in my eye
978
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:33,880
♪ I had a will to despise
979
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:39,600
♪ Make destruction my life
980
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:43,760
♪ When I was a boy
981
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,760
♪ I looked out at the sea
982
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:53,600
♪ Thought I saw you and me
983
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:59,760
♪ In the waves on the breeze
984
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:02,000
♪ And I
985
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:06,440
♪ I still do
986
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:09,960
♪ Still do
987
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:14,160
♪ Still do
988
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:18,720
♪ And I
989
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:22,760
♪ I still do
990
00:56:24,240 --> 00:56:26,680
♪ I still do
991
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:31,640
♪ I still do. ♪
72521
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