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1
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:09,277
* MTV ♪
2
00:00:09,277 --> 00:00:11,445
[both chuckling]
3
00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:14,448
[rock music]
4
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:21,655
♪ ♪
5
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,463
[both chuckling]
[metal clanging]
6
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,699
Yeah, yeah. Uh! Yeah.
7
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,767
Yeah, yeah, lockers are loud. Yeah.
8
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,104
[both chuckling]
Yeah.
9
00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:39,507
Whoa, Beavis,
Check out that guy. [chuckles]
10
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,943
He's, like, sad.
11
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,378
[both chuckling]
12
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,247
Aww.
[chuckles]
13
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,949
Tristan, are you okay?
14
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:50,418
Whatever.
15
00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:52,986
Things are just so...
16
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:54,488
you know--
17
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,557
I do.
[sighs]
18
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,826
- Whoa.
- Look at that.
19
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:02,029
She is going to town on him.
[chuckles]
20
00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:05,133
Yeah, take it easy.
[chuckles]
21
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:07,701
What's she doing that for?
[chuckles]
22
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,171
Uhh, I think maybe
chicks like guys
23
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:12,906
who have, like,
emotions and stuff.
24
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,243
[chuckles]
- I have emotions.
25
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:17,878
Like, when I eat french fries,
I have the emotion of, like,
26
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:21,282
um, these french fries
taste really good, you know.
27
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:25,319
Uhh, I think they have to be,
like, sad emotions.
28
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:28,689
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's how they get you.
29
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,624
Always something.
[chuckles]
30
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,160
Wait a second, Beavis.
31
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,995
We should, like,
start being all sad.
32
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:37,931
Then chicks will like us
and then we'll score.
33
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,000
Yeah, that's a great idea,
Butt-Head!
34
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,536
Yes! I think we're finally
gonna score--
35
00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,037
Ah!
36
00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:46,707
Quit being happy, dumbass.
You're gonna ruin it.
37
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:48,176
Ohh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
38
00:01:48,176 --> 00:01:51,812
Sorry about that.
Won't happen again. [chuckles]
39
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:55,849
And this kind of cell
division is called mitosis.
40
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:58,319
Are there any questions?
41
00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,620
Butt-Head.
42
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,189
Uhh--
43
00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:03,191
I just wanna say
that, like,
44
00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:08,196
what happened to that cell was,
like, devadstating and stuff.
45
00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:11,064
And I'm also deverstated,
and, um,
46
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:14,067
I'm feeling emotions
that are very sad.
47
00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:15,803
Yeah. [chuckles]
48
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:19,072
Yeah, check it out.
- Yeah, me too. [chuckles]
49
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:22,410
My soul is, like,
full of rain and stuff.
50
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:24,745
Oh, my. Hmm.
51
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,214
It sounds like the two of you
52
00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:28,649
may be struggling
with depression.
53
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,452
No, no, no. We're just
really sad all the time.
54
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,053
Very sad, yeah. [chuckles]
55
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,389
Uhh--
Hey, baby.
56
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,391
I, like, cry a lot.
57
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,793
You know what I'm saying?
58
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,929
Maybe a hug?
[chuckles]
59
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,765
Okay, I'm going to make sure
60
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:48,236
that you boys
get the help you need, mm-kay?
61
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:51,405
These feelings of
"everything sucks,"
62
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,773
how long have you had them?
63
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:57,077
Uhh, since everything
started to suck, I guess.
64
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,012
Yeah, sorry, I couldn't
hear you because, um,
65
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,250
I was so busy frowning,
you know. [chuckles]
66
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,117
'Cause I'm sad.
67
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:06,454
Feelings of hopelessness.
68
00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:09,089
Have you been sleeping
more or less than usual?
69
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:12,260
Uhh, I'm usually
up all night, like,
70
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,662
wiping away tears
[chuckles]
71
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,096
of sadness.
72
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,865
Umm, yeah, yeah.
Me too, yeah.
73
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,368
I feel sad all night long.
74
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,836
You know what I'm sayin'?
[chuckles]
75
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,506
Boi-oi-oi-oing.
76
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:28,542
And have you engaged
in any forms of self-harm?
77
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,810
Oh, yeah, yeah.
78
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,879
Yeah, I self-harm
all the time, you know.
79
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,181
Over in Anderson's shed,
you know.
80
00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:36,149
I use hand lotion.
[chuckles]
81
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:37,285
Oh, no.
82
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:38,686
Oh, no, no.
It's no big deal.
83
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,821
If I hear him coming,
I can usually pull my pants up
84
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,756
before he gets there,
you know.
85
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:45,293
He's kinda slow.
[both chuckling]
86
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:46,860
I need to make a phone call.
87
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:49,062
You two need more help
than I can give.
88
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,431
[phone line trilling]
89
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:53,667
Whoa. I think she's
calling in more chicks.
90
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,035
Eh, she's just not
woman enough
91
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,537
to score with both of us,
I guess.
92
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:57,938
[both chuckling]
93
00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:01,141
Sadness kicks ass.
[chuckles]
94
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:05,313
[both chuckling]
95
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:09,950
Um, Butt-Head,
96
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,586
I thought they were taking us
to score with a bunch of chicks
97
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,755
We're, like, in a hospital
or something.
98
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,925
They said they're putting us
under observation.
99
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,960
We're already getting noticed, Beavis.
100
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,529
Our plan is working.
101
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,331
Oh, yeah, yeah.
102
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:25,699
Yeah, maybe they want to
observe our schlongs.
103
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,167
[chuckles]
104
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:31,138
Uhh, whoa.
What's that thing?
105
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:33,574
That's the electroshock
therapy machine.
106
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:36,477
It stimulates the brain
with electric pulses.
107
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:40,414
- Uhh, stimulate?
- Yeah.
108
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,682
[both chuckling]
109
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,351
But you don't need
to worry about that.
110
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:46,086
We only use it as a last resort
for the most extreme cases.
111
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,254
Yeah, we don't need that.
112
00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:48,922
We're gonna stimulate
the natural way.
113
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,824
[chuckles] Yeah.
114
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,560
Now let's get you
to your therapy.
115
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,095
Yeah.
[both chuckling]
116
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:58,131
All right, guys,
let's give a warm welcome
117
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:02,069
to our two newcomers,
Beavis and Butt-Head.
118
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:05,038
Did I pronounce those right?
- Uhh,
119
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,907
we're, like, sad
120
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:09,009
and we're ready to score.
[chuckles]
121
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,411
You guys all look
pretty sad, too,
122
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:13,113
so, um, when do we
start scoring? [chuckles]
123
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,483
Oh, we don't
keep score here, guys.
124
00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:16,550
We're here to talk
125
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:19,520
and to listen
and to share.
126
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,522
So let's begin.
127
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,457
Everyone hold hands.
128
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,429
Uhh, what?
129
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,630
Come on.
130
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,199
Uhh--
131
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,001
Hold hands, guys.
132
00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:37,438
It's okay if you two
aren't ready to participate.
133
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,139
No, no, we wanna participate. Yeah.
134
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,174
That's the only reason
we're even here.
135
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,976
Well, if you wanna participate,
136
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:45,112
then you have to hold hands.
137
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:50,918
Close, Butt-Head.
138
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,753
Try the hand.
139
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,522
Really?
[chuckles]
140
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:55,956
Mm-hmm.
141
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:59,159
Ehh, whatever it takes
to score, I guess. [chuckles]
142
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:03,063
- Okay. [chuckles]
- Ehh, all right.
143
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,432
- [groans]
- [retches]
144
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:07,100
Super.
The purpose of this exercise
145
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,870
is to show that--
- Uhh, this sucks.
146
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,338
This really sucks, Butt-Head.
147
00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:13,741
Now I really am sad.
148
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:15,042
Yeah, yeah, me too.
149
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,478
Uhh, wait a second.
150
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,680
Remember that machine
that guy showed us?
151
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,014
Ohh, yeah, yeah.
152
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:23,584
Yeah, the extreme stimulator machine.
153
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,218
Yeah. [chuckles]
154
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,455
Let's go use that thing.
155
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,457
Yeah, I'd rather fake score
with a machine
156
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,459
than hold hands
with a real dude.
157
00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:33,461
Yeah, really.
[both chuckle]
158
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:35,262
I'm concerned about
these two new patients,
159
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:36,697
Bailey and Beckham.
160
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:37,898
They seem very depressed.
161
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,167
[both chuckling]
- The constant laughter
162
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,870
is clearly covering up
a deep pain.
163
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:47,475
Uhh, well,
it's not the kind of scoring
164
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:49,777
I thought I was gonna get,
but it's better than nothing.
165
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,178
[chuckles]
166
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:54,615
These must go here.
[chuckles]
167
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:55,849
[clicks power button]
[machine whirring]
168
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:58,285
Okay, Beavis,
turn that knob thing.
169
00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:01,221
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, cool. [chuckles]
170
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,090
[high-pitched squealing]
171
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,825
On three.
172
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,627
Uh, one--
173
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,296
[electricity zapping]
Uhh! Ahh! Ahh!
174
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:13,400
[groaning]
175
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:14,635
[sighs]
[zapping stops]
176
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,337
Uh.
- Whoa!
177
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:19,406
I think you scored. Yeah.
178
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,174
How was it?
[chuckles]
179
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,376
It hurt really bad.
180
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,513
And I think my nads
caught on fire.
181
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,414
[chuckles]
- Cool!
182
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:29,116
My turn. Yeah.
[chuckles]
183
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:32,119
Scoring and fire. Yeah. Whoa.
184
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,321
I'll just put these in here.
185
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:37,825
One for you,
and one for you. [chuckles]
186
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:38,926
[electricity zapping]
187
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:42,295
[screaming]
188
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:47,267
[wailing]
189
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:54,407
Are you all right?
190
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:55,709
- Uhh--
- [coughs]
191
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,778
We're not that sad anymore.
192
00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:00,247
We just need to rest.
[chuckles]
193
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,015
Ah, yeah,
I was really sad,
194
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,552
but now my schlong hurts,
so, you know,
195
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,987
I'm cheering up or something.
Yeah. [coughs]
196
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,022
Being sad sucks.
197
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:12,425
[rock music]
198
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,562
[glass shatters]
199
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,865
[dramatic music]
200
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:20,734
- Carlos, secrecy--
- Uhh, what is this show?
201
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,803
What are they doing here?
[chuckles]
202
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,772
It's that show
where people have, like,
203
00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:26,273
a boyfriend or a girlfriend,
204
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,075
but they're afraid
to tell anyone.
205
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,109
[chuckles]
206
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:32,179
I needed help because...
207
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,281
I've had enough of your lies.
208
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:37,985
Because you told me
you were tall and good looking.
209
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:40,588
Spencer, who said--
210
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,222
And Spencer told me
that's not true.
211
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,592
[both chuckling]
- Yeah.
212
00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,594
'Cause he told me
you were fat and short
213
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:49,429
and had a bad beard
and were really sweaty.
214
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:50,931
[chuckles]
215
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,966
Is that true?
216
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:56,103
Who said that
you actually had a vasectomy.
217
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,038
♪ ♪
218
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:01,041
It was on stage,
but I know there's--
219
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,877
Ohh, wait a minute.
He had a vasectomy on stage?
220
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,312
[both chuckling]
221
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:08,616
And then they threw
tomatoes at him. [chuckles]
222
00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,951
Yeah, it's tough in here,
I tell ya.
223
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:14,487
Who's seen your mother
sending you payments for rent.
224
00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,724
Let's start with
the vasectomy joke.
225
00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:19,126
It's a [bleep] joke.
226
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:21,629
I made a pun on vasectomies.
I thought that was hilarious.
227
00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:23,330
He made a pun
on vasectomies?
228
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:26,934
[chuckles]
Uhh, how would you do that?
229
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,401
Yeah, I guess
you could say, um,
230
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,037
like, uh, um--
231
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:32,339
Oh, oh, I know!
Maybe it's like,
232
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,207
"Vasecto-me?
233
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,476
More like vasecto-you!"
Or--or something.
234
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:37,978
[chuckles]
235
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:41,314
He was probably like,
"Knock, knock. Who's there?
236
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,283
"Vasecta.
237
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,952
"Vasecta who?
238
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:48,689
"Uhh, vasecto-big fat guy
with sweaty armpits
239
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:51,925
and a bad beard."
[chuckles]
240
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,663
I host sex parties.
241
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:58,265
[both chuckling]
- Yeah.
242
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,668
You have sex
with other people on stage?
243
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:02,636
- No, no.
- No, no, no,
244
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:05,505
I'm not that cool. [chuckles]
245
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:06,874
I can show you.
246
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:10,143
Basically,
we host these parties
247
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:13,346
where we sell sex toys.
248
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:16,650
Nipple clamps, dildoes.
249
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,952
He's like,
"Okay, okay.
250
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,553
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you
251
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,856
I'm the king of discount
butt plugs."
252
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,057
[chuckles]
- Yeah.
253
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,759
Yeah, gotta make
a living somehow.
254
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:29,096
My comedy sucks.
[chuckles]
255
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:32,299
And I'm unattractive.
[chuckles]
256
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,501
My parents know about this.
257
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,536
Here's a video right here.
258
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:38,371
Uh, I'm confused, Butt-Head.
259
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,173
So he's having sex parties
260
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:43,243
and selling nipple clamps
and butt plugs,
261
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,412
and that's why
he doesn't want her
262
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:46,680
to meet his parents?
263
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,816
[chuckles]
264
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:51,919
His parents are proud of him.
[chuckles]
265
00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:55,255
He comes from a long line
of butt plug salesmen.
266
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,324
[chuckles]
267
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,927
Including my great-
great-great grandfather,
268
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:04,965
Alexander Buttploog.
[chuckles]
269
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,800
[with accent] He came over
from the old country.
270
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,601
[chuckles]
271
00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:10,904
Old Buttploogia.
[chuckles]
272
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,605
Bad, bad boy.
[crowd laughing]
273
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:15,475
When he came here, he didn't
have a dildo in his pocket.
274
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,177
[chuckles]
275
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:20,748
Just a butt plug and a dream.
[both chuckling]
276
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:24,151
And it wasn't in his pocket.
[chuckles]
277
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,420
She's like,
"Can we just address
278
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,322
"the elephant
in the room here?
279
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:32,760
What's up with your
sweaty, disgusting armpits?"
280
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,361
[chuckles]
- Yeah, yeah.
281
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,830
Yeah, you've been sneaking
around selling butt plugs
282
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:39,066
when you should be, like,
sneaking around
283
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,434
selling anti-perspirants
or something.
284
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:42,970
[chuckles]
285
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,905
For four years,
you've dodged me
286
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,907
meeting your parents,
meeting your friends,
287
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,108
going to half
your comedy shows.
288
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,642
'Cause they all know
about this stuff.
289
00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:51,444
Okay, okay, but, um,
290
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,313
I still don't completely understand.
291
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,382
So, like, um--
so he's like,
292
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,150
"I don't want you
to meet my parents
293
00:11:57,150 --> 00:12:00,921
"until I tell you
that I sell butt plugs.
294
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:03,090
Then it'll be okay."
[chuckles]
295
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,825
His parents
were probably like,
296
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,526
"So you want us
to meet your girlfriend?
297
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,461
Well, how many butt plugs
did she buy?"
298
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:09,629
[both chuckle]
299
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,564
"Wait, none?
[chuckles]
300
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:14,868
"Well, then what's in her butt
right now? Nothing?
301
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,037
I don't wanna meet her.
Forget it. No."
302
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:20,007
Gonna have to figure out
a way to talk about this.
303
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,811
But I can't imagine
losing you.
304
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:26,046
[both chuckle]
305
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:29,182
- What?
- Yeah. I sure can.
306
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,251
And I'm hopeful
for you both.
307
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,887
Will you make me
the luckiest man in the world
308
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,989
and take my discount
butt plug?
309
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:39,159
[chuckles]
310
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,829
[chuckles]
You are one of us now.
311
00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:43,296
We're not losing a son,
312
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,932
you're gaining a butt plug.
313
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:47,267
[chuckles]
314
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,236
It belonged to Carlos'
grandmother
315
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,071
until about ten minutes ago.
316
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,540
[chuckles]
But we want you to have it.
317
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,675
[both chuckling]
318
00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:58,445
Yeah, yeah,
you might wanna wash it first.
319
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:01,081
And don't worry, that dog
won't poop in the house.
320
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:04,284
[chuckles]
- Yeah, we've seen to that.
321
00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:08,884
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