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>>There's an old
Japanese parable

about a troubled
warrior who is haunted

by the ghosts of the
lives he took in battle.

[HUMMING]

>>Are you the great silk sage?

I must know if heaven
and hell exist.

So many have been slaughtered.

For them, I hope
there is a heaven.

But I have killed so many,
and for me, I pray there

is no hell.

Please, I must know!

>>I would not want
to waste such wisdom

on a heartless coward like you.

>>What did you say, old woman?

>>What did you intend
to do with that?

Prove that you're a coward by
killing a defenseless woman?

I've never seen such
weakness in a warrior.

That is hell.

And that is heaven.

>>My name is Maya
Angelou, and I believe

that the heart is the most
forceful, impactful element

in our lives.

>>You will never ever
reach their full potential.

If you don't open your heart.

>>And the power of the heart
is to be connected with who

you are at the deepest level.

>>We think of the heart in the
poetic sense, the seat of love

and compassion.

And it's this heart that
is so terribly important.

>>I'm a writer.

For me, inspiration
is essential.

Creativity is essential.

And I can only find
it through the heart.

>>The higher order of
logic and understanding

originates in your heart.

It's experienced in your heart.

It's lived in your heart.

>>The physical heart pumps blood
through the veins and arteries

from the time we're
born until time we die.

The most efficient
pump ever invented.

But the heart is more than that.

>>We did an experiment
here at HeartMath

to study how the
information flows

between the heart and the
brain, and we actually

discovered something
quite remarkable,

something that surprised us.

The participants
in the study were

connected to various sensors
to measure their brain waves,

their heartbeats, and so on.

And then they were
exposed to various images.

Some were high arousal,
like a car crash,

or a snake striking,
while others

were lower arousal images
like bunny rabbits and nature

scenes.

The participants were
asked to push a button.

They then saw a blank computer
screen for six seconds.

The computer then
randomly selected

one of these photographs that
it displayed for three seconds.

After that the screen
went blank for 10 seconds,

and they were prompted
to push the button again,

and they repeated this
protocol about 30 times.

When we analyzed all the data,
the results were astounding.

The heart seemed
to know the images

before the participants ever
saw the images with their eyes.

If the future picture was going
to be one of the emotionally

arousing ones, the
heart rate started

to drop about five seconds
before the image was randomly

selected to be
shown on the screen.

So nobody could know what this
future picture was going to be.

The heart had a much
greater de-acceleration

than if it was, say, going
to be a calm picture.

These results have
since been replicated

in many different independent
labs around the world,

actually.

Well, a lot of people say that
I don't feel it in my heart,

I feel it in my gut.

But here's what's
really happening.

The information comes
to the heart first.

The heart then sends
a different signal

to the brain which
we can measure.

Then you have a brain response,
and then a body response.

And with the body
response, like feeling

in the gut, or the hair
on the back of the neck,

is where it becomes conscious.

But the real flow of information
is heart, brain, body.

And this is all
happening in many seconds

before the actual event occurs.

So what this body of
research is telling

us is that the heart
seems to be connected

to a type of intuition that is
not bound by the limits of time

and space.

But what is that
source of intuition?

What is the heart connected
to, and how can we

learn to tap into more of that?

>>I believe that
the person who is

disconnected from his or
her heart is not living.

I know a lot of people who
[? felt ?] that but they

walk, they talk, they
watch television,

they work hard sometimes.

>>We're the only
living form on Earth

that can actually
become the walking dead.

We can actually cut off our
own source to aliveness.

>>But somehow this spark
of divine energy is lost.

This happened to me.

I said, oh, I want
to be a writer.

My band says, oh come on, Paulo.

In Brazil, to be a
writer in Brazil,

nobody can make a
living out of writing.

I said, but I don't care,
I just want to be happy.

I just want to do something
that is going to give me fun.

It's going to give a
meaning for my life.

And they said, no,
no, no, no, no.

And then, of course,
because I thought

that old people are wiser, I
said, OK, they have reason.

Let me do something different.

But I could not.

I quit the university to I was
only [INAUDIBLE] and I said,

you have to burn your bridges.

And I just burned my bridges.

And I had no choice
but to follow the thing

that I wanted to do.

So from the moment
that I realized

that I want to be a writer, I
said, I'm going to be a writer.

It may take 10 days,
10 years, or 20 years,

but I'm going to write.

And then I started by
writing lyrics for songs,

I start by writing
articles for newspapers.

I wrote my first
book when I was 40,

but at least I
wrote my first book.

So at the end, if you
don't fulfill your dream,

God finds three, four times
a way to kick your head

and say, come on.

Don't forget your
purpose in your life.

Give a chance to your dream.

You are not going to regret.

I'm not saying that you're
not going to suffer.

I'm not saying that you're
not going to be defeated.

I'm saying you're not
going to go regret it.

>>The medieval female
mystic, Mechthild,

beautifully said that a
fish cannot drown in water

and a bird cannot
fall from the sky.

Each creature must find
their own God-given element.

And it's easy for fish and
birds, they know their element.

But for human beings
it's not so easy.

With well intention,
we always struggle

whether to follow our heart
and our direct experience

and the advice and
instruction of others.

Whether they be parents,
loved ones, friends, trends

in whatever age we're born into.

And there's no substitute
for following the aliveness

that our heart tunes us to.

>>Many times people are looking
for their ideal partner,

and they say they
can't find them.

They're looking, and they're
looking, and they're looking,

and they can't find them.

Well if your soulmate is
not knocking on your door,

it's not that you're
not looking hard enough.

If you want to find
someone that can fully

love you and know you, you
have to know and love yourself.

When we're able to give
ourself this kind of love which

says we're good
enough just the way

we are, that we're in
this world for a reason,

that we're never alone,
that sense of fulfillment

provides a foundation for
having a successful relationship

with someone else.

>>A great teacher this
is a simple flower.

When the flower
blossoms, the bee comes.

The flower doesn't go
looking for the bee.

And this is where the
heart really comes alive,

because relationships are far
more challenging than what

we see in the movies.

>>All right, roll it.

>>I've loved you all my life.

>>But we only met two days ago.

>>That's when my life began.

>>The journey of
a relationship is

finding love every time
again, and again, and again.

And to find love
again and again means

you're going to lose it,
and lose it, and lose it.

>>Often the question arises that
if the heart is so powerful,

why is it so easily broken?

And my time on Earth has
led me to understand,

because that's how
the heart grows.

In the same way that when we
exercise our muscles actually

break down so that they can
get healthy and grow stronger,

this is how the heart works.

>>You have to bring
forth obstacles,

and that's what a marriage is.

You will be challenged.

>>One day a blonde walked
into Charles' life.

>>Was she really pretty?

>>Well, I'd lie about her,
but Marian saw her, too.

Yes, she's very pretty.

>>There'll be times when
you doubt your partner,

you doubt your relationship, and
you're angry with your partner.

>>There isn't the slightest
bit of good in you.

>>You're afraid to get
close to your partner,

you've been hurt
by your partner.

>>He's hiding something
from me, Sylvie.

Something terrible.

>>This is part of that journey.

>>You know, in the moment of
such breaking, it's agony,

and we feel desperate.

But the heart, the heart
just says, give me more.

Give me more.

>>As you come back to love,
each time coming back to love,

finding forgiveness,
finding acceptance, even

thanking your partner at
times for their inadequacies

so to speak, because
it poured forth

greater love within yourself,
that is how you grow.

>>There was a battle, all right.

But it wasn't Paul I had
to fight, but myself.

>>Bonnie will say
to me, John, I don't

want to listen to
you until you're

talking to me from your heart.

I said, no, I'm talking,
I'm making sense.

No.

I want to hear your feeling.

I want to hear your love
in the tone of your voice.

And when you can find
it, we can talk again.

What a simple
message she gives me.

Now, it would be
a mistake for her

to say something's wrong
with being in my head,

because that would make a very
important part of me wrong.

But what she'll say
is at times what

my heart is closed,
when I sound mean

or focused on being right--

>>Now, if you want to tell me
what's troubling you, fine.

If not, I'm tired, it's late,
and I want to go home to bed.

>>She'll say, right
now, I can't hear this.

I need to hear a little
bit more of your heart.

When you're ready to
talk from your heart,

I'm ready to talk with you.

>>I think the
challenge in our age

is staying in a relationship.

And that doesn't mean to
stay in abusive relationships

or relationships
that don't work.

And I have found for
me that the difference

often as to whether to stay or
go in a friendship or a love

relationship hinges on whether
all of who I am is welcome.

If I am asked to leave who I
am or part of who I am outside,

then no matter what we
do in that relationship,

I won't grow.

Because I won't be able to
stay connected to my heart.

>>And this is where their
story really begins.

It wouldn't be fair to tell you
how it ends, for that, we hope,

is something you'll want
to experience for yourself.

>>Things can get crazy, no?

So many people,
they lose their kids

because there is
no relationship,

there is no contact.

Which is very bad, because
no time to try again,

and to try again,
to find a solution.

I have four kids.

One of them is playing
for [? IX. ?] Probably

I paid more attention to that.

And then the oldest one got
a little bit less attention,

I don't know, and he
was against me in a way.

And I decided, I
have to do something.

I have to give him an
opportunity to get closer.

And then all of a sudden
I told him, come on.

We take the bags and we'll
go to Greece, you know?

I said, in order to persuade
him, it might be my last time.

>>Why did you say that?

>>When we go up on the
Alps I will tell you.

>>I had nothing to tell him.

I just told him because
otherwise he wouldn't come,

and I knew that
he wouldn't come.

We went from Amsterdam,
to Athens, Greece.

You become his brother,
you become his mate,

you become his friend.

This would happen up in the
Alps, where it was minus 16

and we're freezing
cold, so we became one.

>>Hey, where are you, man?

>>Dad, where are you?

>>This is a little
house here, come!

>>Hello?

Hello.

Hey!

Look at this, please, please
let us sleep with you tonight.

If you allow me to sleep
here tonight, me and Willem,

just for a night.

It's so cold.

I love you.

>>And then everything went
away all this friction

because I was in the
same team with him.

And I love that, and I'm very
happy that this little mistake

of mine, which
was not dedicating

enough time to my oldest son--

>>I don't know
nothing about boxing,

so be careful with your dad, eh?

>>And now that we are
really, really good friends.

Every father has good
friction with his son.

And love it.

You have good kids, no?

I hope you will enjoy when
the friction is coming.

Otherwise he hasn't
got any character.

>>You OK?

>>Yeah, man.

>>So when your son is
against you, be very happy.

OK?

>>On Sunday, September 22nd,
at about 10:54 in the evening,

our daughter was riding her
bicycle home from the CSU Chico

State Library when she was
struck by a drunk driver

and left on the side
of the road to die.

>>In the phone conversation
with the nurse,

we knew that she had
been in an accident,

but we didn't know
any of the details.

That it was a drunk driver, and
that it was a 19-year-old kid.

She was riding four
blocks home from school.

She was about a half a
block from her apartment.

>>You could see her apartment
from where she was hit.

>>You could actually
stand on the bridge

and see her
apartment from there.

>>She was so close.

>>That's how close it was, and
I've stood there so many times

and just looked
at that distance.

Just thought about that short
distance has changed our lives.

>>Christina was one of
those extraordinary people

that you don't come
across very often.

>>She studied.

She really thought about
how to live her life.

She didn't just
stumble through life

the way many people do,
especially at her age.

From the time she weighed enough
to give blood, she gave it.

And sometimes she
would even pass out,

and Sandra would drive her
home in the car, she'd say,

that's it, you're not
going to do this again.

She'd say, no, I am going to
do this again, and she would.

She would give blood whenever
she had the chance and--

>>Pass out every time.

>>And she'd pass out
almost every time.

That's the way she
lived her life.

If she thought it was the
right thing to do, she did it.

And so many people know
the right thing to do,

but they don't always do it.

But she didn't even
have to think about it.

>>About three weeks
after Christina died,

we had to go and pack up
her apartment up in Chico.

And I opened up a drawer
and I saw a makeup bag.

I opened up the makeup bag and
it had several pieces of paper

in it.

No makeup, but several
pieces of paper.

And among those papers
was this piece of paper

that was folded and
a little tattered.

And I looked at it
and I started to read.

And I realized it
was bucket list.

She never said I want to be
rich, I want to be famous.

She didn't ask for
anything unreasonable.

She just wanted
to do normal stuff

and she never got to do that.

Be in four places at once.

There's a place
called Four Corners.

You can actually go to the
edge of all four states, that's

what she wanted to do.

But she's done this already.

Not by being there,
but with her organs.

Parts of her are
four places at once.

Her liver was split
between two people.

One was a 55-year-old man and
one was a nine-month-old baby.

A kidney, somebody
that the family knew.

Another man got the rest
of Christina's liver.

Her pancreas and the
other kidney went to a man

in the South Bay.

And her heart went to
a 64-year-old woman

from the South Bay at Stanford.

>>Lao Tzu said that I
have just three things

to teach, simplicity,
patience, and compassion.

In an age where we run
from the depth of feeling

and the teachings of
the heart, our fear

can reframe simplicity
as stupidity,

patience as laziness, and
compassion as sentimentality.

And therefore make them
not worthwhile to pick up.

Simplicity refers to direct
living, firsthand experience.

So the return to
touching life directly.

This restores our
wholeheartedness.

Patience also restores
us to wholeheartedness.

The urgencies we feel ever
present are mostly false.

Unless you or I can't
breathe or we're bleeding,

there's no real urgency.

And compassion,
compassion literally

means to be with, to
keep honest company.

So when I am not directly
living, when I am not patient,

I want to problem
solve your pain

and not keep you
company with it.

I'm often asked,
well that's fine,

but how can we do that
in the real world?

And I see it differently.

I've come to understand that
if you don't open your heart,

then existence will crush you.

Not because there's something
evil about existence,

but because the way
water fills a hole,

if you don't meet the
world with who you are then

everything around
will just fill you in.

So there's always a question,
yes, if I'm out in the world,

I could get hurt, I could
get taken advantage of.

I could get betrayed.

My trust may not be rewarded.

This is all true.

But I have found that
the cost for not staying

open hearted, whole hearted,
is that I lose access

to my aliveness.

>>And we'll end up
walking lock step

in a society of consumerism, of
getting, of fear, and of worry.

And we will not
have lived our life.

We have a life to live.

The heart has the answers.

>>I was editor of a magazine,
I started that one years ago.

And I was looking
at this magazine.

And as usual, there
was this picture

of the editor in
front of the magazine.

And I was looking at myself
smiling, and I thought,

it's not true.

This is not me.

But there was a sadness,
it was like a wave

of sadness that washed me.

It was a really upset moment.

I can laugh at it now.

And I thought, who is
this me, or I, or self?

What is it in religion, or
in spiritual traditions,

or in philosophy?

What is it?

>>Every spiritual tradition
throughout history

has spoken about the heart as
being the seed of the soul.

The diamond in the heart,
the lotus and the heart,

the temple in the heart.

Every tradition
speaks about the heart

as being the essence
of who we are.

>>The heart points to the most
essential dimension within you.

So to live in
connectedness with that,

then you are in touch with
the power of the heart, which

is the power of life itself.

The power of the
very intelligence

that pervades and underlies
the entire universe.

>>Divine intelligence
is in your heart.

You will not find your
soul in your intellect.

>>And I suddenly thought,
wow, look at all these notes.

This could be a magazine.

And the title was easy, because
it made me really happy.

Happiness.

So to listen to your heart
can be very frightening,

because you might have to lose
all the secure things that life

was giving you, like cars,
money, houses, everything.

>>Well, I'm a person
who has a lot of fear.

Like for example,
every time that I

have to write a new book.

Would I be able
to express myself?

Would I be able
to share my soul?

>>When we consider
challenging fear,

we're actually considering
shining the light of awareness

on those places within
us that are fearful.

>>There is nothing
wrong with fear.

The only thing that is wrong
is to be paralyzed by fear.

>>So I thought, OK, I face
it, I just face it, this fear.

What will happen to me if this
magazine is not a success?

Maybe I have to sell the house.

So I looked to another house.

An area in the village where
you can rent a very cheap house.

I thought, can I live there?

Of course I can live there.

Why not?

It's a roof, it's a
house, I can live there.

And I knew I can handle this.

Whatever will
happen, we will live.

>>And there's an
old Sioux saying

that says, the longest journey
you will make in your life

is from your head to your heart.

And this isn't because
we're stupid or we're slow.

It's because it takes time.

Before I had cancer, I
believed in the heart

but I was living
it from my head.

And that journey, like snow
melting into the ground,

the essence of my life
melted into my heart.

It took almost dying to make
that journey from my head

to my heart.

>>Your primary
intention needs to be

connectedness with the
heart at this moment.

>>I have to act from a
place of good intention.

A place of love
and kindness that

will allow me to
walk in this world

without creating any damage.

>>You may intend to
have a million dollars,

and that intention then
needs you to rob a bank.

If you really want the thing,
go to the heart and say,

this is what I want.

And the heart can say, I'll
show you how you get it.

You must be willing to work,
now, and trust me, now.

And then you can have it, yes.

If it's not going
to hurt anyone else.

>>Suppose you meet
someone who says,

I intend to make more money.

And he says, that's
my intention.

You can ask him, why do you
want to make more money?

And then you'll start to
learn some interesting things.

>>If making money becomes
your primary goal,

then know that you
are not connected

with the deepest
dimension in yourself

that we call the heart.

And even if you achieve your
goal and make a lot of money,

you will find that
ultimately it leads

to frustration and unhappiness.

>>Fulfill your dream, and
certainly money may come.

If money does not come, just
to have a life full of joy.

In my case, for
example, I never thought

I would make a living
out of writing.

I was writing because
I wanted to do it.

I had no choice.

So at the end of
the day, not only

I made money out of writing,
but I made a lot of money

out of writing.

>>It often happens that when
your actions become empowered

and contribute something
vital to this world,

then abundance in
some form-- and it

may be in the form of money--
can sometimes flow to you.

>>It was a great success.

Holland wanted this
magazine so it could grow,

and it was the biggest
magazine of the Netherlands.

It came from the heart.

It was the real thing.

>>Wherever your heart is, there
you will find your treasure.

>>The heart is who you are.

The heart defines you.

And I really wanted
to meet that person,

because I knew that person had
to be pretty special to get

Christina's heart.

Late one evening, my son got
a text message from a friend,

and said, tell your mom
to read the Facebook page.

So I went to Facebook,
and I saw a message.

And the message was,
I am Susan Vieira,

and I believe I'm the recipient
of your daughter's heart.

I knew it was late, but I just
figured I'd message her anyway.

And she responded right back.

And I dialed her number,
and she picked up.

And right away I just
felt a connection.

I felt Christina.

And then when I heard this
she was a retired nurse,

and that they had
so much in common,

that it was like
Christina handpicked Susan

to get her heart.

>>Christina and I
were both nurses.

I saw the bucket list, and
it's really a CV of my life.

>>She wanted to manage
and own her own business.

>>Yes, I did that.

>>She wanted to get married.

>>Yes, I've done that.

>>She wanted to learn
how to fly a plane.

>>I've learned to fly a plane.

>>She wanted to go
to four out of seven

of the wonders of the world.

>>Yes, check.

>>Fly first class
on an airplane.

>>Check.

>>Visit the 50 states.

>>I'm working on it.

>>Ride in a hot air balloon.

>>I've done that.

>>Go parachuting.

>>I'm going to have to
wait a while on that one.

>>Ride a camel.

>>Done that.

>>Travel to all the continents.

>>Working on it.

>>Be remembered as
the smiley girl.

>>I'm still working
on that one, too.

>>She wanted save
someone's life,

which she did that in death.

She wanted to own two pieces of
property, one with livestock.

>>I hesitated on that one.

I've owned two
pieces of property,

but they didn't have
livestock on them.

>>She went to break up a fight
between two guys over her.

>>No, I haven't done that one.

>>She wanted to run
through a poppy field.

>>I haven't done that, either.

>>Tour Niagara Falls.

>>I'd love to go
to Niagara Falls.

>>And have children.

>>I don't think so.

At this point,
that's one I'm not

going to accomplish
on her bucket list.

>>Go to the Smithsonian
and drive along Route 66.

>>Drove it all the way from
California to Tennessee.

>>And it was so important
to her that these

get done that we knew it was
something that we wanted to do.

>>I also made the goal
to try and do as many

of the undone items
on the bucket list.

>>Having a heart
transplant, there's

things that she can't do.

She can't go skydiving
or parachuting,

so we'll do that for her.

It won't be me because I'm too
scared, but it'll get done.

Everything on that list
that we can do, we'll do.

>>When are defeated, you
cannot pretend that you are

spiritually superior.

Sit down, and cry, and
suffer, and say, oh my God,

why did you forsake me?

You are allowed to cry.

You are allowed to be defeated.

>>How not to deny my pain,
because if we deny it,

it will get bigger.

And how not to drown in it.

We are asked to let in
beauty while we're suffering.

[HEART BEATING]

>>I hear it.

I remember when she
was little, and they

would lay my head on her chest,
and I would hear her heart.

That's how I felt today.

I thought that's the heart
I heard so many times.

>>Good.

>>Thank you.

>>You're welcome.

>>I went through the experience
of losing my daughter

because there was malpractice
and negligence in the hospital,

and my daughter became
a vegetable, really.

In a coma for a year until she
finally was liberated and died.

And I could carry for
the rest of my life

the burden of the anger and
resentment of what happened.

I could blame and
sue the hospital.

But I chose to write
a book instead.

And in that book I sort of
glimpsed the whole thing.

I understood what had happened.

I realized that there
was no bad intention.

There was ignorance,
negligence, but not

the purpose of harming her.

And I forgave, and
I've been able to live

for 19 years with the spirit
of my daughter happily.

I don't carry that
burden with me.

>>Whenever I'm having a
difficult time forgiving,

I think of Immaculee Ilibagiza.

>>I was home for
[? Istauli ?] Day.

My brother come to my room--

>>You're still sleeping?

>>He looked like he was
awake for many hours.

>>You don't know what happened?

>>I jumped out of
the bed, I never

did this before in front of
my brother, put on my clothes.

>>We will win!

We will win!

Find the cockroaches!

Find the cockroaches!

>> He said,

>>The president of our
country died last night.

>>They're going to kill us.

>>I come from a tribe of Tutsi.

It was well-loved.

And we kind of suspected
something might happen.

My parents sent me to
hide to a neighbor, who

was from the Hutu tribe.

It was a protestant
pastor, and he

put me to sleep in
a bathroom of three

by four feet with
other seven women.

We couldn't talk, we couldn't
speak, as the man told us,

>>I won't even tell my children.

One mistake, one mistake.

It's not that I don't
trust my children,

but this mistake, it
would be too late for you

and your life will be over.

Don't use the shower.

>>Only flush the
water of the bathroom

when someone is flushing the
water in the next bathroom.

>>I think
[? that we'll be in for ?] a

week or maybe less.

But if we are careful, we
might live through this.

Just be careful.

>>We thought it was going
to be two, three days.

We spent in that
bathroom three months.

>>You must not let
your guard down.

The Tutsi snakes are
hiding in the grass,

so make sure that you have
your [INAUDIBLE] ready to chop

the snakes in half.

>>We couldn't shower.

We were waiting for killers
to find us every day.

>>If you're working
a field and spot

a Tutsi woman in the bushes
breastfeeding her baby,

don't waste a
golden opportunity.

Pick up your gun, shoot them,
chop the snakes in half.

Don't forget to kill the baby.

The child of a snake is a snake.

>>They went home
by home to search,

to see if anyone was hiding.

And this was a group that was
paid by the government, given

food, and drink, smokes.

The first time they came,
I remember I was watching,

and I saw them through the
tiny window of the bathroom.

The men circled the house
so that no one jumps out

of the window, and then
they started to scream.

They went in every room,
they went under the beds,

they even opened suitcases to
make sure there was no babies

hiding.

They went in the
ceiling of the house

with flashlights to make sure
no one is hiding in the ceiling.

They went on the
roof of the house

to make sure no one
is laying there.

I remember asking, if you are
there, can control all this,

please don't let them find
the door of the bathroom.

A thousand needles
went through your body.

It was painful.

It wasn't a little
fear, it was a lot.

Your life was about to be over.

You are about to
be cut by machetes.

>>Where are the Tutsis?

>>No, no, no, don't know
what you're talking about.

I'm a good Hutu.

I would never hide Tutsis,
there are no Tutsis here.

I don't want any problem
with the government.

You know me, I shall
protect this house.

First those Tutsi rebels
come in and attack me

for being such a good Hutu.

>>They came right to the
door of the bathroom.

One of them touched the handle.

He told the man,

>>You know what?

I trust you.

You are a good man.

>>Oh, thank you.

>>You are one of us now.

>>I mean, when we
saw him, we jumped.

We thought it was the
killers finding us.

>>You're safe now.

You're lucky to be alive.

>>We were completely numb
for the first five hours.

>>I don't know how
you are praying,

or if you're even praying.

But whatever you're doing,
please keep doing it.

>>You know, the feelings
I had in that bathroom

were things I never
experienced in my life.

I had anger, anger I
cannot put in words.

I mean, sometimes
people hate one person,

and that's bad enough.

I hated like eight
million people.

And I remember thinking,
when I got out,

I'm going to be a
soldier, and I will

train my body, and muscles,
and just kill everybody.

In my anger, I was Rambo.

In some movies I have
seen, I was killing people.

With these thoughts I would
be swearing out of anger.

And I'm sitting in the
bathroom with these thoughts,

my head would be aching,
and my stomach is aching.

Why my thoughts are
provoking this poison?

I'm only thinking of
things I want to do.

What is going on with
my thoughts here?

>>It's very hard to remember
love when we are scared.

Being afraid is one
of the strongest

emotions in the world.

>>Our heart rate varies with
each and every heartbeat.

And when we're frustrated, and
anxious, and emotionally upset,

the rhythm of the heart becomes
very incoherent and jagged.

And this basically
creates a noise

in the system that drowns
out the intuitive signals.

>>I remember thinking, this
home has two bathrooms.

If they didn't have
these two bathrooms,

how could we have
been hidden here?

They would have find us.

It was only home that had two
bathrooms inside the house,

and that made me feel good.

When I was thinking the
good, it was so distinctive

because the feelings
were so high you

can feel the difference
like someone just pushed you

down and lifted you up.

Like it's so clearly.

And I started
thinking, we can eat.

Thank God this man has children.

We can eat the leftovers,
even if it was not much.

So I started to see
the good, and it

was like my heart was open.

Look at these people,
I can touch somebody.

Just to see the
good in everything.

>>Appreciation is a
heart related feeling.

It requires access
to the intelligence

of the heart to appreciate,
or to have gratitude.

>>And when I was thinking
that way, I felt much smarter.

>>When we're in
a coherent state,

the signal from the heart to
the brain is so much stronger.

It gets up to our frontal
cortex much clearer.

>>That's the heart
knocking on your door,

saying, open the
door, here I am.

You need me.

Because then you
say, ooh, where am I?

I'm in hell.

I didn't know that.

But the heart tells
you, trust me.

And when you're out of that--

>>It begins to shift the
energies very, very quickly

so that you come into another
level of buoyancy that

rises above the problem.

And in doing so, you
can then see into it.

You can then find
ways to deal with it.

>>They're coming back.

>>It was so clear in my heart.

This time they want to find you.

>>Pastor.

Push the wardrobe in
front of the door.

They're not going to
see there is a door.

>>No, no, why?

If they come, they'll
realize it wasn't here.

>>I'm begging you.

>>OK.

OK, OK, I will put it.

>>And it was so clear that
I need to listen to that.

They came to search.

>>Where is she, Pastor?

This is the last
place she was seen.

We know she's here.

Immaculee!

>>One of them said, I've
killed 399 cockroaches.

And he said, I want
Immaculee to be the 400th.

And I'm thinking,
this man, I knew him.

He was a school mate
in elementary school.

Someone I can call a friend.

How can somebody say he
killed 399 people by machete,

but he was proud?

They went right in the wardrobe.

They could have find us if
that wardrobe was not there.

And later he said, good idea.

It wasn't even like I wanted
to take credit, like oh good,

I had a good idea.

It was just like,
keep listening.

Know how to distinguish that
clarity that is not covered by

hate, by envy, by jealousy,
by anything unloving.

That is really how it comes out.

It comes as a
truth that you know

is not motivated by
something not nice.

And the funny part,
when they left,

the anger came right back.

It was just like a
[INAUDIBLE] oil coming back

on the top of the water, like
a veil I pulled in front.

I couldn't say,
I couldn't think.

Oh, my body's aching
again, and my headache.

But that's what you do when
people are killing your people.

You get angry.

So I didn't even think there was
another way to deal with this.

Despite the price I was
paying with my own body,

I couldn't remember how
to smile cause of anger.

I felt like my
mouth was twisted.

I wished to be innocent again.

I wished to see good in people.

But for me, they were animals.

They were bad.

They were just evil people.

Every day I prayed about
200 our Lord's Prayer.

Any time I reached the part that
said, forgive us our trespasses

as we forgive those who trespass
against us, I couldn't say it.

>>Give us this day
our daily bread.

Forgive--

>>Any time I went through that
part it was like a red flag.

And then I said, how
can I deal with it?

Because I can't forgive, because
this is unforgivable thing.

They tried to kill me.

How do you forgive such a thing?

I wished I could, but it didn't
make sense in my situation.

So one time I said, wait a
minute, I have a better idea.

I thought, let me skip
that part of the prayer.

So then I don't have to say
it, then I can say the rest.

So then within me, God is OK,
now he knows I'm not lying.

Lies don't sit well in the body.

And I start to skip it,
and I felt so much better.

So I edited it, and
now this voice says--

>>You are editing his prayer.

>>If I were you, I wouldn't
try to edit his prayer.

You know, I can say
this laughing today,

but that time my
mood was crushed.

I remember it was like giving
up, or can I call it surrender?

I went to my knees, and I put
my hands up, and I begged God.

I'm going to put
it back in prayer.

Because if you said pray
this way, you must know

it is the right thing to do.

I'm putting it in your hands.

If you know how to
forgive, help me out.

I am willing.

That was a big shift.

I remember they came to a point
when it was like the world was

divided in two parts.

A part of love,
and a part of hate.

In the part of love are
people like Mandela,

like Mother Teresa, Gandhi.

People who suffered.

And no matter how
much they suffered,

they still stand up for truth.

They still stand up
for love, for defense

of another human being's rights.

And then on the side of hate,
I see people like Hitler,

like those who were causing
genocide in Rwanda who

are vengeful, angry,
like me at that time.

And I felt like God was asking
me, where do you want to stand?

Where do you want to belong?

Do you want to belong to side
of love or the side of hate?

And guess what?

People who belong
on the side of love,

they have known injustice.

They have known hate.

They have known how
to be treated bad.

But it's your choice.

And I remember, it was
so clear that I said,

of course I want to be
with Gandhi, with Mandela.

I admire these people.

I admired Mother Teresa.

I want to be like them.

So what did they do?

They believed people can change.

That was a huge shift in
my thinking in my body.

People do change.

And I remember
thinking, wait a minute.

I don't think people
can really change.

Now, wait a minute again.

Look at me, I'm changing
with all these thoughts.

So when I realized that
people actually do change,

people have the capacity
to see things differently,

that's when I realized
I can let it go.

I felt like I moved from the
bathroom to a place of air.

That's how love felt in my body.

I couldn't smell nothing bad.

It was like I was floating.

And that was a
paradise in my heart.

I thought about the
killers, I should

have compassion towards them.

Imagine the person who
killed 100 people, who

have took away fathers and
mothers from their kids.

What are they going to become
when they wake up one day

and they realize
what they're doing?

Someone who begged
them for life?

When we came out, it was
like end of the world.

A million people
and more was killed.

My mom, my father, my
two brothers, my grandma

and my grandpa, neighbors.

My schoolmates, my best friends.

It was the end of the world.

Everywhere was their bodies.

But something have
changed in my heart.

I was strong inside.

I was really ready to face
life in a different way.

I'm a skeleton.

I'm 65 pounds.

But inside, I felt huge,
I felt more beautiful.

I felt like everybody
was just a gift of God,

and I just wanted to serve,
to help, and to care.

For the first time
I'm being grateful

for things I took
for granted forever.

And I can say hi to somebody
without anyone killing me.

And then I remember in
evening, this nice wind.

The trees are moving, I can
feel the wind in my body.

I didn't feel this
for three months.

I can see the stars,
I can see the moon,

and I don't have
to pay for this.

Did I ever looked at
the moon and said,

wow, nice to have the moon?

No.

It was overwhelming feeling
of love and appreciation.

I wanted to scream
to the whole world.

Do you see the beauty?

>>The mind can understand
conceptually wholeness,

but only the hard can
experience wholeness.

And the reward, if we can
endure what we experience,

is that we don't just
grasp oneness, we feel it.

>>Your head sees things
as black or white, wrong

or right, bad or good.

Head is always touching,
always off balance.

>>How long do I have to wait
for it to be white again?

>>Just because you can't see
it doesn't mean it isn't there.

The heart is much faster
and wiser than the head.

In the eyes of the heart,
black and white judgments

disappear because the heart
is balanced by a deeper truth.

The great spirit spins together
moments of profound beauty

that can only be
experienced with the heart.

>>I am forever grateful
for that bathroom.

To see where evil
can take people,

but to see also where
love can take people.

Just realize the
weakness of people,

but the strength that is
within each one of us.

To push me that far,
to dig within my heart,

and to trust that
instinct within.

>>And when you can
give thanks for it all

and love without conditions,
then you will be free.

That is the power of the heart.

>>Life is full of challenges.

Challenges and
hardships often times

are the intense
heat and fire that

break us open to
discover gifts, talents,

and capacities within us that
we would have never discovered

before.

>>So like a match
that holds fire,

but until it strikes against
something you have no flame.

By rubbing up
against experience,

our heart comes aflame, and
light and warmth come from us.

>>You can even be
grateful for things

that you imagine that
aren't any good for you.

That you imagine that you don't
really want, or that you wish

you hadn't had to experience.

Even in those moments,
masters say thank you to life,

thank you to God, thank
you to the divine self

for this particular experience.

Because I know that
before too long I

will see the
extraordinary gift that

has been folded into
this physical encounter.

>>Six months after the genocide,
and people used to tell me,

you can't forgive this quick.

It's too quick to be happy.

You can't be smiling
after what happened.

And that really kind of made
me question a little bit

sometimes.

I said, am I happy and forgiving
out of surviving mechanism?

Am I going to crush one day?

Which many people told me,
on one day, if you see them,

you will go back to the anger.

I said, really?

Let me see.

So I went to prison to see the
person who have killed my mom

and my brother, whom I would
not have gone to meet him.

It didn't serve me one bit.

So I went there just to
really see how I feel.

And I have learned
the head of the jail

is a friend of my
father who lost his wife

and like five children.

So I knew he would
open the door for me.

>>You can hit him,
you can do whatever

you want because I'm here now.

I will protect you.

So ease up your pain.

>>And he brought the man.

I remember him.

He used to be a teacher.

He was like a father to me.

He had kids my age.

I used to visit them, and
have lunch with the family.

Now that's him who did that?

I just broke down and cried.

And I truly cried
out of compassion

towards him and his family.

>>I forgive you.

I forgive you.

>>It wasn't like, oh, I
planned to say these words.

There's something I
wanted to express,

and I couldn't find
words to say it fully.

I wanted him to be free from me.

Not to think, oh,
she's mad at me.

You know, I can't do nothing.

I just wanted him
to have a chance

to go through his own
journey from his own heart,

not because somebody
is angry at him,

or someone put him in a prison.

>>What is wrong with you?

>>And the head of
the jail was so mad.

>>What is wrong with you, huh?

You do not know
what he did to us?

You do not love
your parents, huh?

You forget?

>>I forgot that
the man was there,

and actually who
lost his family, too.

And I really felt bad.

>>You forgive a killer?

What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with you?

>>Oh my God, why
did I forgive him?

But I did, I wanted to.

I wanted to free him.

But it felt more
like weakness, it

felt like-- somewhere I
knew it was the right thing.

>>It's the most horrifying tale.

And yet she, and many people
living through that genocide,

have found it in their hearts
to forgive and to move on.

>>Forgiveness is everything.

When I think of forgiveness, I'm
brought to weep with gratitude

that it exists.

>>Now, forgiveness doesn't
mean that you're condoning

someone else's behavior.

This is a really
important point.

Forgiveness merely
means that you're

freeing yourself up
from the energy blocks

that you're holding.

Those resentments
that you're carrying.

>>There's a song, a Gospel song.

And it says, (SINGING)take
your burden to the Lord

and leave them there.

Leave them there,
oh, leave them there.

Take your burden to the
Lord and leave them there.

If you trust Him, never doubt,
he will surely bring you out.

Take your burden to the
Lord and leave them-- now,

there is that, and
there are people

that sing that with such
fervor and such confidence.

And those are the same
people who take their burden,

say there my burdens, and then
they get up and take the burden

with them.

And they go-- [LAUGHS]

>>How can we connect
with the heart?

Well, your starting point is
all you ever have, this moment.

>>We are so busy all the time.

There's no time, no space,
no silence for the heart.

>>Unless you actually
can be out in nature,

and experience the birds
singing, and the trees,

and the blue sky,
you are divorced

from the great spiritual being
that I feel is all around us.

And I've been so lucky to spend
months and months on my own

in nature.

Then you can become
a whole human

being with heart, and
brain, and spirit, all

connected and whole.

>>That's why maybe
people meditate or pray,

because they need that
space, that moment when

you listen to the heart.

>>Every storm has a hole in
the center the size of a navel

through which a gull
can fly in silence.

>>And so you become calm.

You must become calm.

If you don't know what
to do, do nothing.

Don't fill your time with
trivia, simply do nothing.

Simply sit.

>>Breathe.

All the traditions
speak about the value

of meditation,
reflection, contemplation,

which all center on breathing.

Why?

Because breath restores us
to the safety of the moment.

>>Now you want to breathe a
little deeper and a little

slower than you normally would.

About a four or five second on
the in-breath, and four or five

seconds on the out breath.

But you don't hold
your breath, you just

get a nice rhythm, that
pace, holding your tension

in the area of the heart.

>>Bring your awareness
to your heart.

Bring your conscious
awareness into your heart.

>>And you may be
able maybe to hear.

>>I ask my heart all
the time for guidance.

>>Your heart has a very good
way to tell you whether you're

in a good path or not.

It's called enthusiasm.

>>I let in whatever's
around me, and I

ask, where's the aliveness now?

>>When I'm playing with
the kids, when I make love

to my husband, when I read a
good book, when I'm writing

and I feel that the
character becomes a person

and talks to me,
then my heart also

feels fluttering, and
with laughter, with joy.

Why everything has
to be so serious?

>>It's very important
to have fun.

Even the middle of something
that you are doing that

requires a lot of discipline.

And so to connect to your
heart, become a child.

>>My dear friend
George came to Greece.

This guy is a billionaire.

And he is very big.

He started talking, and I said--

>>Listen.

If you want to talk
with me, come with me.

>>I took him out in
the central of Athens

where we have a trampoline.

>>We're not going to talk
business unless you follow me

on the trampoline, man.

>>No, no, no, no.

>>Yes, yes, yes, together.

>>I'm not going on a trampoline.

>>You're a difficult guy
to get undressed, man.

>>He came up on the trampoline
for the first time in his life,

and we started jumping together,
up and down, up and down.

140 kilos, no?

>>Hey, you could
become a champion

if you train a little bit.

Next Olympic games, OK?

I will be your manager, man!

[LAUGHING]

Wow, what a good
boy you are, man!

That's the way I like it!

>>He was so happy,
like a little child.

The child is hidden.

Everybody's a child, even
him, who is a billionaire.

>>And the child is
saying, hello, I'm here.

But we think, oh,
we are grown up,

we're not going to
listen to this child.

Because this child
has childish dreams.

And so we forget the child.

And from the moment that
we forget the child,

we think the child is
going to forget us.

No.

The child is not
going to forget us.

This child will be here
always, hello, I'm here.

I'm talking to you.

Can you listen?

And then we say, shut up.

I don't want to listen to you.

But the day that
you're facing death,

this child will be there, and
are going to ask you again,

why didn't you listen to me?

And then you have to answer.

And your answer will be
your hell or your heaven.

>>The difference between
being childish and childlike

is that being childish reduces
our world and returns us

to being self-centered.

Being childlike
returns us to wonder.

>>It's wonderful
to be like a child

if you still can practice this.

When I'm in new places, or
new cities, or new areas,

I'm as Alice in Wonderland.

Then the heart goes open again.

>>And then I feel
my heart exploding.

You know, I feel the
heat of the heart.

>>And it is wonderfully
liberating and empowering

to be aligned with
the heart, that which

underlies all creation.

And it is then that often you
find helpful factors coming

into your life out
of nowhere, and those

are synchronistic
events that usually

are confirmation that you are
connected to that deeper level.

>>Synchronicity this word
that was created by Carl Jung.

When something appears
to be a coincidence,

but you know that there's
more to it than that.

>>For example, you get a phone
call just at the right moment.

Something that becomes
helpful factor,

and you cannot explain
causally how that happened.

>>Synchronicity is a miracle.

The only thing that you can do
is to be open to synchronicity.

>>It is as if a
filter drops away,

and we notice that
synchronicity is all around us.

That this isn't an
accidental universe.

>>When we were waiting
to hear from the doctors,

I had one of
Christina's jackets.

And I reached into the pockets
and I pulled out a fortune

from a fortune cookie.

We must always have old
memories and young hopes.

And that was a sign for
us that she was gone.

>>And immediately I just
thought this was like--

>>A final message.

>>Her final message to us.

I mean, the old memories were
the old memories with her,

with Christina.

And the young hopes, or
the optimism, you know,

she was 21 years old.

She looked ahead
to her whole life.

To me it was telling
us that we have

to pick up where she left off,
even though I'm not 21 anymore.

I have to adopt that
philosophy and try

to live up to the young
hopes for the future

that you can have,
and that you can

make a difference in the world.

>>Synchronicity is largely due
to intuition, where we end up

in the right place at
the right time because

of that inner guidance.

In other experiments
we've done, we

see that the heart can know the
information about 20 seconds

before hand.

But in real life,
our intuition's

not limited by these
experimental protocols.

And I think we have
to be careful not

to say that, well,
intuition is only

20 seconds before an event.

Because we know
in the real world,

it can be hours and
sometimes even days

before an event actually occurs.

Most people instantly think
about going to Las Vegas

and gambling or something.

If intuition really
works as I'm suggesting,

it's really our own
spirit working with us.

So it's not always in our best
behalf from that interaction

between our higher
self, or our soul,

whatever you want to call it.

Every culture has
their own name for it.

That we go to Las Vegas
and just win all the time.

So intuition is really
our own best friend.

It's really the moment
to moment inner guidance.

You know, when we get that
feeling that something's

just not right, or we
shouldn't do something.

Or it can be a positive
feeling that we really

should do something, or
go to a certain place.

>>I remember the day before
the genocide happened.

My brother came home, he
spent a day with his friends,

and he told us that he heard
a rumor that they were going

to kill every Tutsi that night.

And we were, our
family, on the list.

>>I cannot move the family
just because you heard a rumor.

>>What if it's true,
and in the morning--

>>Stop it.

No fear.

Just trust in God
and forget about it.

What do you think?

>>We should move.

This is so important.

It's 10 minutes away, we
can just take the boat,

and come back in the
morning if nothing.

>>I know, but we must
trust our father, too.

>>I know, you're right.

We should, right?

>>Because he always
has good judgment.

>>We should.

>>It was so clear in my
heart that my decision was

to move away from the country.

By the morning, it was too late.

They had blocked
all the borders.

That lesson completely
changed my heart forever.

Now when I have that feeling,
I do listen to my heart,

no matter who is saying what.

I have to listen to my heart.

>>Well, if you don't
trust the heart,

what are you going to trust?

>>I believe the heart is
the only thing we can trust.

>>When we get to the point
where we have experienced

this transformation
within ourselves, where

living from love
rather than fear

has transformed our
own life circumstances,

then we become channels,
we become vessels.

We have the moral
authority by which

to state that possibility
for the planet.

>>Just before she
passed, I was telling her

that I'd been off work
for a couple of years,

and we retired.

And I was kind of
looking for something

meaningful to do with
the rest of my life,

because I was still young.

And she said, oh,
something will come along.

You'll know it when
it comes along.

And when she passed,
I knew instantly

that we had to
continue her work.

And so we started the
foundation, the Christina

Chesterman Memorial Foundation,
to just build on the legacy

that she left already.

>>As you live from the
heart and more humans

begin to live from the heart,
that has a ripple effect.

It ripples out from where you
are, and then you get it back.

>>Every day you work at it.

Every day you go to the heart.

Every day you speak to me.

>>In fact, I start
each morning with what

we call a heart lock in.

Just getting coherent
and really sending myself

love and appreciation
for a few minutes,

to start my day from
a more coherent,

composed, and
connected perspective.

Then throughout the day you've
got to kind of reboot that.

So really it's developing
kind of a flow through life.

So all the in-between
moments, as I call them.

Like in between here
and the lunch room,

or between here and
the photocopier.

Those in-between moments
are perfect opportunities

to breathe in that appreciation,
or that state of inner ease.

I mean, we have
to breathe anyway,

so we might as well
make it more effective.

>>And if we can
calm down enough,

we can listen to the wisdom.

We learn how to be good
neighbors, good visitors.

How to be good parents.

How to be good
workers, good teachers.

We learn how to
be good citizens.

Good human beings.

Because we listen.

And not try to put
our voices in it.

Just listen.

>>The heart is my guru.

For all gurus I've met,
this one is the real one.

>>Ask your heart any question.

Who am I?

What do I want?

What's my purpose in life?

What are the qualities that
I look for in a good friend?

What are the qualities
that I contribute to

in a good relationship?

What are my unique
skills and talents?

How do I use this
to serve humanity?

Your heart knows
all the answers.

>>I still feel lost.

I don't know what to do
with my life anymore.

>>Take the question
to your heart.

>>I have been.

I'm not getting any answers.

>>You're thinking, it's
harder than it really is.

Just follow that
lightness in your heart,

and that will eventually lead
you to a life of purpose.

Some of the biggest questions
of the heart unfold as a path,

not an answer.

>>Following our aliveness
without attaching

what it will become.

Not to become a poet,
but I'm brought alive

by the questions and
the life of expression.

Not to become a singer,
but to be brought alive

by voice coming out of you.

>>We begin to connect from
our center and not just

from surface personality.

It's a whole different way
of moving through the world.

And when one moves through
the world like this,

and when we begin to move
through the world like this,

then the realm of ever
expanding good-- another name

for heaven-- begins to be
revealed on our planet.

>>We cannot see tomorrow's
sky, but the heart sees it.

And we will be
directed as to how we

should act in tomorrow's sky.

More than likely,
we already know.

But if we don't, the heart
will tell us, if we listen.

>>This is for you, sweetheart.