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1
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- Jubel!
2
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- What should we do now, Malachi?
3
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- This paint is quick
drying, as well as non-drip.
4
00:01:53,438 --> 00:01:56,438
We'll praise the lord while we wait.
5
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Our safe stronghold, our God
6
00:02:17,022 --> 00:02:19,572
- Now, look at that sausage.
7
00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:20,926
Want some?
8
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- Whoa, ho, ho, the waistline, man.
9
00:02:23,066 --> 00:02:23,899
- Aw, come on, Barney,
10
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sure I can't tempt you
with something else?
11
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- Maybe just a smidgen of chutney,
12
00:02:27,261 --> 00:02:28,328
if there's any going here, Hamish.
13
00:02:28,328 --> 00:02:29,713
- No going, coming.
14
00:02:29,713 --> 00:02:32,266
Lachland's bringing a
batch of his homemade.
15
00:02:32,266 --> 00:02:33,964
- For Lachland's homemade chutney, Hamish,
16
00:02:33,964 --> 00:02:35,046
I'd wait forever.
17
00:02:35,046 --> 00:02:36,641
Whoa-ho, Alex, is that the red?
18
00:02:36,641 --> 00:02:38,638
- No, just mineral water, Alex.
19
00:02:38,638 --> 00:02:40,061
- What?
20
00:02:40,061 --> 00:02:43,304
- You know wine makes
you lethargic, dearest.
21
00:02:43,304 --> 00:02:44,932
Tired.
22
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:47,932
Lie about, to fall asleep, later on.
23
00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:51,814
- I'll get mineral water.
24
00:02:54,071 --> 00:02:55,040
- What have I told ya?
25
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,000
- Check the oil.
26
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,497
- Check the oil, and now look at us.
27
00:02:58,497 --> 00:03:00,470
That's supposed to be served
slightly chilled, you know.
28
00:03:00,470 --> 00:03:01,727
- It's only chutney.
29
00:03:01,727 --> 00:03:03,027
- Only chutney!
30
00:03:03,027 --> 00:03:04,711
That is my chutney.
31
00:03:04,711 --> 00:03:07,347
That's your entry to
every barbie in Lochdubh.
32
00:03:07,347 --> 00:03:10,118
- Well, I'd like to think I
was invited for my personality,
33
00:03:10,118 --> 00:03:12,363
not your chutney.
34
00:03:12,363 --> 00:03:13,853
- Bethsheba.
35
00:03:13,853 --> 00:03:15,769
Fine evening for a prayer meeting.
36
00:03:15,769 --> 00:03:18,493
- Mr. McCrae, you're welcome
to join in if you'd like.
37
00:03:19,578 --> 00:03:21,741
- Oh, I don't think so, Bethsheba.
38
00:03:21,741 --> 00:03:25,087
For soon where we--
39
00:03:25,087 --> 00:03:28,738
- So, what's he making you
wear all this stuff for?
40
00:03:28,738 --> 00:03:30,988
- To deter vanity, he says.
41
00:03:32,161 --> 00:03:35,281
This only thing this deters is the babes.
42
00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:37,985
Lachie, man. I'm at the
height of my sexual powers,
43
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:39,497
just like you.
44
00:03:39,497 --> 00:03:41,348
- Sounds awful, right enough.
45
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No babes, I mean.
46
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,152
I don't think I could handle that, Jubal.
47
00:03:45,152 --> 00:03:46,735
- Tell me about it.
48
00:03:47,784 --> 00:03:50,537
So, you're seeing someone
at the moment, then?
49
00:03:50,537 --> 00:03:54,498
- Oh, one or two irons in the fire, yeah.
50
00:03:57,556 --> 00:04:01,622
- Shouldn't that say
Lochdubh there, Mr. McBean?
51
00:04:01,622 --> 00:04:06,351
- My husband is going the
lord's work, Mr. McCrae.
52
00:04:06,351 --> 00:04:07,502
- The lord's work?
53
00:04:07,502 --> 00:04:09,204
I thought road signs was
the council's business.
54
00:04:09,204 --> 00:04:11,557
I'll be reportin' this you know.
55
00:04:11,557 --> 00:04:13,474
Come on, Lachie Jr.
56
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:19,006
- We're just off to Hamish's barbie.
57
00:04:19,006 --> 00:04:20,506
- Ooooooooh, what!
58
00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:26,257
You would take your son
into that house, McCrae?
59
00:04:26,257 --> 00:04:29,196
You would let your boy sup with Satan?
60
00:04:29,196 --> 00:04:32,739
- Satan? I didn't see any
Satan on the guest list.
61
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,266
Did you, Lachie Jr?
62
00:04:34,266 --> 00:04:35,516
- No, no Satan.
63
00:04:36,654 --> 00:04:38,404
- Get a life, McBean.
64
00:04:39,564 --> 00:04:41,363
Come on, son.
65
00:04:59,273 --> 00:05:01,162
- It's going well, don't you think?
66
00:05:01,162 --> 00:05:03,925
- Yeah, well, good wine, good company,
67
00:05:03,925 --> 00:05:04,788
brilliant cooking.
68
00:05:04,788 --> 00:05:05,621
- Ooh!
69
00:05:08,425 --> 00:05:09,521
- You know what?
70
00:05:09,521 --> 00:05:11,024
I've been a complete idiot, haven't I?
71
00:05:11,024 --> 00:05:12,320
- Mmmhmm.
72
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:15,487
- I could have had all this, long ago.
73
00:05:18,273 --> 00:05:20,112
Has Lachie
told you about McBean?
74
00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:20,945
No.
75
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,181
- He painted out the road sign.
76
00:05:22,181 --> 00:05:25,568
The man has clearly lost it a lot.
77
00:05:25,568 --> 00:05:26,463
- You see a lot more of
78
00:05:26,463 --> 00:05:29,817
Alex and Hamish than I do, Mr. McIver.
79
00:05:29,817 --> 00:05:31,490
- Do they seem happy?
80
00:05:31,490 --> 00:05:33,912
- Well, they seem to be, Major.
81
00:05:33,912 --> 00:05:36,803
- Then why don't they
just get married, hm?
82
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:37,729
Don't understand it,
83
00:05:37,729 --> 00:05:40,441
it'd get that McBean off
their backs at the very least.
84
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,269
- Well, marriage is a great
responsibility, Major.
85
00:05:42,269 --> 00:05:44,909
- All I'm saying, is it's a damn disgrace.
86
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:48,288
I mean, who does that McBean think he is?
87
00:05:48,288 --> 00:05:51,335
Lots of couples live
together, for heaven's sake.
88
00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:53,978
- Agnes, dear, the reverend
might not see things
89
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:55,590
in quite that light.
90
00:05:55,590 --> 00:05:58,682
- Oh, I'm not that far apart from Agnes.
91
00:05:58,682 --> 00:06:01,688
If God is love, and where
there's love, there's God.
92
00:06:01,688 --> 00:06:03,187
We must believe that, mustn't we?
93
00:06:03,187 --> 00:06:04,853
- See.
94
00:06:04,853 --> 00:06:06,294
Another glass of wine, Alan?
95
00:06:06,294 --> 00:06:08,454
- No, no, I won't if you don't mind it.
96
00:06:08,454 --> 00:06:10,464
Makes me feel lethargic.
97
00:06:10,464 --> 00:06:12,383
- Do you hear that, Barney.
98
00:06:12,383 --> 00:06:15,733
I think Alan and I see things
in entirely the same light.
99
00:06:16,566 --> 00:06:18,505
- There it was, in big red letters:
100
00:06:18,505 --> 00:06:20,059
Gomorrah.
101
00:06:20,059 --> 00:06:20,892
I tell ya, if it hadn't been for
102
00:06:20,892 --> 00:06:22,706
the presence of Lachie Jr, here,
103
00:06:22,706 --> 00:06:24,608
I'd have banjo'd that
McBean right there and then.
104
00:06:24,608 --> 00:06:26,806
I kid you not, Rory.
105
00:06:26,806 --> 00:06:29,487
- Gomorrrah, aye, well, well, well.
106
00:06:29,487 --> 00:06:31,493
That was a biblical city, Lachlan,
107
00:06:31,493 --> 00:06:34,126
that God destroyed on account
of the goings on there.
108
00:06:34,126 --> 00:06:35,325
- I know that, Rory Campbell.
109
00:06:35,325 --> 00:06:37,113
What ya take me for,
an ignoramus, or what?
110
00:06:37,113 --> 00:06:38,161
- I was just pointing out.
111
00:06:38,161 --> 00:06:40,640
- Of course, contemporary geologists,
112
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,341
they think that Sodom and
Gomorrah were destroyed
113
00:06:42,341 --> 00:06:45,378
by natural disasters, such as earthquakes.
114
00:06:46,261 --> 00:06:48,047
- No, I just thought I'd throw that in.
115
00:06:48,047 --> 00:06:49,446
- Anyway, anyway.
116
00:06:49,446 --> 00:06:52,999
Next thing is, McBean
starts speaking in tongues.
117
00:06:52,999 --> 00:06:54,583
- Speaking in tongues, eh?
118
00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:56,812
You'd know a lot about that
sort of thing, Lachie Jr.
119
00:06:56,812 --> 00:06:57,869
I've seen it before.
120
00:06:57,869 --> 00:06:59,157
- And were was that?
121
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:00,617
- Cape Fear.
122
00:07:00,617 --> 00:07:01,516
- There you go, you see.
123
00:07:01,516 --> 00:07:04,453
Saw it himself, up in Cape Fear.
124
00:07:04,453 --> 00:07:06,258
- I think he means the film, Lachlan.
125
00:07:06,258 --> 00:07:07,206
Cape Fear.
126
00:07:07,206 --> 00:07:09,706
- That's right, it's at the end.
127
00:07:09,706 --> 00:07:12,785
And Robert DeNiro, he's
this religious maniac.
128
00:07:12,785 --> 00:07:14,686
He's chained to this sinking boat,
129
00:07:14,686 --> 00:07:16,672
and just as the boat's going under,
130
00:07:16,672 --> 00:07:18,760
he starts speaking in tongues.
131
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:26,861
It was really brilliant
the way that he did it.
132
00:07:34,134 --> 00:07:34,967
- Oh no.
133
00:07:36,633 --> 00:07:37,587
- Lachlan!
134
00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:38,420
My man!
135
00:07:40,144 --> 00:07:42,146
Lookin' good, Lachlan, lookin' good.
136
00:07:42,146 --> 00:07:44,208
- Feelin' good, Zoot, feelin' good.
137
00:07:44,208 --> 00:07:45,147
- Hambo!
138
00:07:45,147 --> 00:07:46,826
- Zoots, how are we?
139
00:07:46,826 --> 00:07:49,075
- Only wonderful, Hambo.
140
00:07:49,075 --> 00:07:50,370
Only wonderful.
141
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:53,050
- How is it, you know
you're always welcome here.
142
00:07:53,050 --> 00:07:56,413
But, there's some pretty
solid citizens in the company,
143
00:07:56,413 --> 00:07:58,080
so nothing aromatic.
144
00:08:01,182 --> 00:08:02,405
- Nothing?
145
00:08:02,405 --> 00:08:03,238
- Nothing.
146
00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,402
- What have I stumbled in on here, Hambo?
147
00:08:07,402 --> 00:08:09,245
A Victorian-theme evening?
148
00:08:09,245 --> 00:08:10,093
No, no, no.
149
00:08:10,093 --> 00:08:12,247
Just try lookin' on it
as a new experience.
150
00:08:12,247 --> 00:08:14,568
A new experience.
151
00:08:14,568 --> 00:08:16,418
I like that.
- Aye.
152
00:08:16,418 --> 00:08:18,506
- Well, I'll tell my fellow rustic-goers.
153
00:08:18,506 --> 00:08:19,339
- Mine.
154
00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:23,543
Hello.
155
00:08:23,543 --> 00:08:24,687
- Ooowa.
156
00:08:24,687 --> 00:08:26,058
Well, Zoot's been spending a lot of time
157
00:08:26,058 --> 00:08:28,113
'round Lochdubh these days.
158
00:08:28,113 --> 00:08:30,780
What's the attraction, I wonder.
159
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,517
- Open your hearts, dear friends.
160
00:08:35,517 --> 00:08:37,409
Open your minds and hearts,
161
00:08:37,409 --> 00:08:39,659
and together, we shall know
162
00:08:40,874 --> 00:08:41,957
the infinite.
163
00:09:33,519 --> 00:09:34,602
- Aaaahhhhhh.
164
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:47,784
- Lord, cleanse this house of sin,
165
00:09:48,986 --> 00:09:52,166
with a form of thy most sacred blood.
166
00:09:52,166 --> 00:09:54,362
- Cleanse it, cleanse it.
167
00:09:55,604 --> 00:09:58,771
Turn thy back on Satan now.
168
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,599
- Alarm call, madam?
169
00:10:03,165 --> 00:10:04,282
- I heard them.
170
00:10:04,282 --> 00:10:07,571
- Lay waste, this vile den, oh Lord.
171
00:10:07,571 --> 00:10:11,738
Visit thy vengeance on this
stinking cesspool of sin.
172
00:10:13,036 --> 00:10:14,605
- Cesspool of sin.
173
00:10:14,605 --> 00:10:16,161
- Bethsheba, another fine day.
174
00:10:16,161 --> 00:10:17,853
- It is, indeed, Mr. McIver.
175
00:10:17,853 --> 00:10:19,059
- Be warned!
176
00:10:19,059 --> 00:10:22,819
And stay back from this
wicked abode, John McIver.
177
00:10:22,819 --> 00:10:24,358
- Wicked abode?
178
00:10:24,358 --> 00:10:26,191
That's the police house, man.
179
00:10:26,191 --> 00:10:29,935
Now get out of my way,
before I lose my temper.
180
00:10:29,935 --> 00:10:31,018
Wicked abode.
181
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:35,733
- He that succors sin, himself sins.
182
00:10:37,322 --> 00:10:38,572
- Himself sins.
183
00:10:40,544 --> 00:10:43,541
- I don't understand it, you know.
184
00:10:43,541 --> 00:10:45,153
- What?
185
00:10:45,153 --> 00:10:47,177
- The Church of the Stony Path sets out
186
00:10:47,177 --> 00:10:48,550
strict codes for the brethren,
187
00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:51,532
but they've never
behaved like this before.
188
00:10:51,532 --> 00:10:53,718
And those clothes, they look ridiculous.
189
00:10:53,718 --> 00:10:55,210
- Yes, well.
190
00:10:55,210 --> 00:10:57,721
Maybe it took us to bring
out the worst in them.
191
00:10:57,721 --> 00:10:59,991
- No, no, they've been
like this since before
192
00:10:59,991 --> 00:11:02,444
you moved in with Hamish.
193
00:11:02,444 --> 00:11:05,694
But you do seem to have
given them a focus.
194
00:11:07,431 --> 00:11:09,173
- That's me off, then.
195
00:11:09,173 --> 00:11:10,842
- You take care.
196
00:11:10,842 --> 00:11:12,433
- Take care?
197
00:11:12,433 --> 00:11:14,350
This is Lochdubh, Alex.
198
00:11:19,895 --> 00:11:22,385
- God, sinner, slash man.
199
00:11:22,385 --> 00:11:23,844
- Curse him, curse him.
200
00:11:23,844 --> 00:11:24,693
- I think he means me, love.
201
00:11:24,693 --> 00:11:26,315
- Fornicator.
202
00:11:26,315 --> 00:11:28,245
- Definitely means me.
203
00:11:28,245 --> 00:11:30,743
- Do you think you can
scoff at us, Macbeth?
204
00:11:30,743 --> 00:11:32,985
His ministers, his elect.
205
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:35,482
- Oh, his elect, is it?
206
00:11:35,482 --> 00:11:37,795
Well, tell me this, Mr. McBean,
207
00:11:37,795 --> 00:11:39,210
if the lord thinks so much of you,
208
00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:43,377
how come he just let my dog
piss up your trouser leg?
209
00:11:44,231 --> 00:11:45,064
Jock.
210
00:11:46,549 --> 00:11:47,565
- Dog.
211
00:11:47,565 --> 00:11:48,565
Of Dionysus.
212
00:11:49,933 --> 00:11:51,350
Hound from Hades.
213
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:56,325
Infest that beast with fleas, Lord.
214
00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,064
- Come on, Jock.
215
00:11:59,064 --> 00:12:03,553
- Send down a plague upon
his foul master's house.
216
00:12:03,553 --> 00:12:06,081
And let thy wrath be felt by
217
00:12:06,081 --> 00:12:08,810
the Jezebel that lives in sin
218
00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:11,009
within its unholy walls.
219
00:12:13,837 --> 00:12:17,754
A temptress,
who leads man into sin.
220
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:19,658
Alan.
221
00:12:19,658 --> 00:12:21,393
- Isn't that just such a stooshie?
222
00:12:21,393 --> 00:12:24,094
I suppose I should apologize
for him, since he is a
223
00:12:24,094 --> 00:12:24,973
member of the cloth.
224
00:12:24,973 --> 00:12:26,260
- No, nonsense.
225
00:12:27,093 --> 00:12:28,916
- You're very kind, Hamish, but tell me.
226
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:31,282
Do you think that man's insane?
227
00:12:31,282 --> 00:12:33,893
- Well, I think he's just daft.
228
00:12:33,893 --> 00:12:35,828
- What, not dangerous, then?
229
00:12:35,828 --> 00:12:37,230
- No, just daft.
230
00:12:37,230 --> 00:12:40,485
- I see. I'll say good day to you, Hamish.
231
00:12:40,485 --> 00:12:42,402
Thank you so very much.
232
00:12:44,070 --> 00:12:44,987
- For what?
233
00:12:48,963 --> 00:12:51,232
- He preaches with a lot of
passion, don't you think?
234
00:12:51,232 --> 00:12:53,076
- Well, it sounds like
a lot of abuse to me.
235
00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:55,409
- Sure, but remember, Hambo.
236
00:12:57,168 --> 00:13:00,270
They say the Lord works in wondrous ways.
237
00:13:00,270 --> 00:13:01,603
- Is that right?
238
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:06,022
- Flora, it occurred to me
that it might be worthwhile
239
00:13:06,022 --> 00:13:08,439
having a look at the McBeans.
240
00:13:09,420 --> 00:13:13,353
You know, at the Church of
the Stony Path, as a whole.
241
00:13:13,353 --> 00:13:14,186
- Oh yes?
242
00:13:15,152 --> 00:13:16,421
- Yes.
243
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,731
- Well, one never knows what a
good journo might find there,
244
00:13:19,731 --> 00:13:22,898
if he, or she, was to dig deep enough.
245
00:13:25,053 --> 00:13:27,121
- Well, you surprise me, Flora.
246
00:13:27,121 --> 00:13:30,224
- I half thought you might
have agreed with the McBeans.
247
00:13:30,224 --> 00:13:33,454
Hamish and Alex aren't married, after all.
248
00:13:33,454 --> 00:13:35,371
- Neither am I, Isobel.
249
00:13:36,618 --> 00:13:39,296
And who can blame Alexandra?
250
00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:41,578
I mean, that Macbeth.
251
00:13:41,578 --> 00:13:45,161
Wouldn't you just know
he'd be a dirty boy.
252
00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:55,493
- Ooh!
253
00:13:56,380 --> 00:13:57,507
- Ah!
254
00:13:57,507 --> 00:13:58,340
Oh, ah!
255
00:14:03,684 --> 00:14:04,851
- Oh, Malachi.
256
00:14:05,875 --> 00:14:08,292
- Put the pebbles back, wife.
257
00:14:11,689 --> 00:14:14,884
- But you'll cripple yourself.
258
00:14:14,884 --> 00:14:16,164
Why are you doing these things?
259
00:14:16,164 --> 00:14:19,331
- The struggle with Lucifer is arduous.
260
00:14:21,177 --> 00:14:22,094
- But this.
261
00:14:23,298 --> 00:14:25,131
- Oh, sweet Bethsheba.
262
00:14:27,108 --> 00:14:30,147
Your concern does you credit.
263
00:14:30,147 --> 00:14:32,970
Yet more proof that you are
the Lord's greatest gift
264
00:14:32,970 --> 00:14:35,457
of this humble servant.
265
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:36,957
- Please, Malachi.
266
00:14:38,262 --> 00:14:39,314
I don't deserve.
267
00:14:39,314 --> 00:14:42,436
- Mmm. I think it's deserved.
268
00:14:42,436 --> 00:14:46,603
And that is why, in my own
way, I have always loved you.
269
00:14:48,502 --> 00:14:50,419
And why, in my own way,
270
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:52,691
I always will.
271
00:14:58,918 --> 00:15:00,846
But I've begun to chart
272
00:15:00,846 --> 00:15:04,077
a difficult course for
the church, Bethsheba.
273
00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:07,261
And if you came to feel that
the burden of leadership
274
00:15:07,261 --> 00:15:10,511
was too great for you to share with me,
275
00:15:12,538 --> 00:15:15,371
then I assure you, I'd understand.
276
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:25,156
I want you to know that.
277
00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:33,100
Bethsheba.
278
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,711
- Shall I make you a sleeping draft?
279
00:15:57,525 --> 00:16:01,442
- To shut out the hiss
of the serpent's tongue.
280
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,539
That Reverend Snow.
281
00:16:39,539 --> 00:16:41,039
- He's a nice man.
282
00:16:42,276 --> 00:16:46,026
- He asked me if I
thought McBean was insane.
283
00:16:47,350 --> 00:16:49,018
You know, dangerous.
284
00:16:49,018 --> 00:16:52,187
I've been wondering
the very same thing.
285
00:16:52,187 --> 00:16:56,036
- No, no, I mean, it's the way he asked.
286
00:16:56,036 --> 00:16:56,869
Alan Snow.
287
00:16:59,403 --> 00:17:00,403
Kind of odd.
288
00:17:01,665 --> 00:17:03,438
- We could get short of McBean.
289
00:17:03,438 --> 00:17:05,339
We'd just get married.
290
00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:07,351
- I'm not giving into
that loony, you joking?
291
00:17:07,351 --> 00:17:11,148
- I was thinking we might do
it for our own sakes, Hamish.
292
00:17:11,148 --> 00:17:14,255
- Alex, I want to get married.
293
00:17:14,255 --> 00:17:16,422
But I want to do it right.
294
00:17:17,358 --> 00:17:21,525
And that costs a lot more
than we've got, basically.
295
00:17:22,860 --> 00:17:25,729
Just wait 'til we get some cash put by.
296
00:17:25,729 --> 00:17:28,036
- Well, who'd have thought of that?
297
00:17:28,036 --> 00:17:30,372
You, wanting a proper wedding.
298
00:17:30,372 --> 00:17:32,895
- No, no, I mean, I just.
299
00:17:32,895 --> 00:17:36,478
I just want to do things
right, that's all.
300
00:18:06,195 --> 00:18:07,656
- What are they doing?
301
00:18:07,656 --> 00:18:09,985
- That patch has been set
aside for hand-tilling.
302
00:18:09,985 --> 00:18:10,818
- Oh.
303
00:18:10,818 --> 00:18:12,018
- The theory being that
after a day in there,
304
00:18:12,018 --> 00:18:13,749
you're too knackered to sin.
305
00:18:13,749 --> 00:18:15,170
It doesn't work, though.
306
00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:16,294
Not when you're at the
307
00:18:16,294 --> 00:18:18,558
height of your sexual powers.
308
00:18:18,558 --> 00:18:19,783
Like me, Isobel.
309
00:18:19,783 --> 00:18:22,423
- Jubal, I'm here to do a story.
310
00:18:22,423 --> 00:18:23,256
- Jubal!
311
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:28,222
- See you.
- Yeah.
312
00:18:29,455 --> 00:18:31,912
- What can we do for you, Miss Sutherland?
313
00:18:31,912 --> 00:18:33,761
- Well, I was, um,
314
00:18:33,761 --> 00:18:35,712
I was thinking of doing a piece,
315
00:18:35,712 --> 00:18:37,931
for the religious affairs column.
316
00:18:37,931 --> 00:18:39,933
- We've been here a long
time, Miss Sutherland,
317
00:18:39,933 --> 00:18:41,318
why the sudden interest?
318
00:18:41,318 --> 00:18:44,947
- Well, this persecution of Hamish.
319
00:18:44,947 --> 00:18:47,712
- Your choice of words betrays you, Miss.
320
00:18:47,712 --> 00:18:50,296
I'll not talk with an ally of sinners.
321
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,390
- Now, out of my way!
322
00:18:51,390 --> 00:18:53,249
- Oh, if you'll just listen, Mr. McBean.
323
00:18:53,249 --> 00:18:55,325
- Out of my way, now!
324
00:18:55,325 --> 00:18:57,300
Out!
- Mr. McBean!
325
00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:58,291
No!
326
00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:00,638
Oh!
327
00:19:00,638 --> 00:19:02,534
Lie still, you'll be fine.
328
00:19:02,534 --> 00:19:03,439
Just lie still.
329
00:19:03,439 --> 00:19:04,392
- What happened, Malachi?
330
00:19:04,392 --> 00:19:05,225
- It was an accident.
331
00:19:05,225 --> 00:19:06,619
- Get your car, she'll
need to see the doctor.
332
00:19:06,619 --> 00:19:07,667
- She stepped under the wheel.
333
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:08,675
Where did it happen?
334
00:19:08,675 --> 00:19:09,508
- Oh my god.
335
00:19:09,508 --> 00:19:11,233
- It was an accident.
336
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,816
It was an accident.
337
00:19:14,539 --> 00:19:16,122
It was an accident.
338
00:19:16,994 --> 00:19:18,643
- He did apologize, Hamish.
339
00:19:18,643 --> 00:19:19,476
- No, no, no, no.
340
00:19:19,476 --> 00:19:20,309
The damage is already done.
341
00:19:20,309 --> 00:19:21,955
Will you calm down, Hamish.
342
00:19:21,955 --> 00:19:23,099
- Look what he did to her.
343
00:19:23,099 --> 00:19:24,106
- It's only bruising.
344
00:19:24,106 --> 00:19:25,939
- The ground was soft.
345
00:19:29,942 --> 00:19:32,885
- You go home, and you tell that
346
00:19:32,885 --> 00:19:35,329
badly put-together man kit,
347
00:19:35,329 --> 00:19:36,774
that I've seen this.
348
00:19:36,774 --> 00:19:39,309
I have seen what he did to her.
349
00:19:39,309 --> 00:19:42,143
And you tell him, his time's comin'.
350
00:19:42,143 --> 00:19:44,397
- But, it was an accident, Mr. Macbeth.
351
00:19:44,397 --> 00:19:46,649
Malachi wouldn't tell a lie.
352
00:19:46,649 --> 00:19:47,482
- Hamish.
353
00:20:16,523 --> 00:20:19,187
- Excuse me, do I get to
know what's going on here?
354
00:20:19,187 --> 00:20:20,280
- You saw what he did to her.
355
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,316
- Yes, and I saw what
that did to you, Hamish.
356
00:20:23,316 --> 00:20:26,051
And that man has been
standing out here for weeks.
357
00:20:26,051 --> 00:20:27,866
Every day, he's called me names.
358
00:20:27,866 --> 00:20:28,699
And I've been so hard--
359
00:20:28,699 --> 00:20:29,967
- Oh look, Alex, he never touched you.
360
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:30,800
- You did nothing!
361
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:34,156
- If he touched you, it would
be a different story, okay?
362
00:20:34,156 --> 00:20:35,739
- Would it, Hamish?
363
00:20:37,024 --> 00:20:37,857
- Yeah.
364
00:20:40,037 --> 00:20:43,537
I'm surprised you'd even have to ask that.
365
00:20:50,195 --> 00:20:52,112
- Dinner for one, then?
366
00:21:13,278 --> 00:21:14,111
- Malachi?
367
00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:17,574
Malachi?
368
00:21:19,094 --> 00:21:20,711
- Malachi!
369
00:21:22,462 --> 00:21:25,422
- No, don't look upon him.
370
00:21:25,422 --> 00:21:28,940
He is the beast, look away
from his face, Bethsheba.
371
00:21:29,773 --> 00:21:32,104
- Look away from his face.
372
00:21:32,104 --> 00:21:33,480
- Malach--
- One look
373
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,369
and he'll wither your soul.
374
00:21:36,369 --> 00:21:38,369
Bethsheba, oh Bethsheba.
375
00:21:39,275 --> 00:21:40,108
I saw him,
376
00:21:42,404 --> 00:21:43,737
he is the beast!
377
00:21:45,894 --> 00:21:47,773
Get away from the barn!
378
00:21:47,773 --> 00:21:49,106
It is the beast!
379
00:21:51,431 --> 00:21:53,848
- I'll call the fire brigade.
380
00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:05,762
- Well, he could be mad.
381
00:22:05,762 --> 00:22:08,020
Or then again, he might just
be embarked on some kind of
382
00:22:08,020 --> 00:22:09,568
back to basics campaign.
383
00:22:09,568 --> 00:22:14,273
Which would make
him mad in my book, anyway.
384
00:22:14,273 --> 00:22:16,804
Did I not say keep the
weight off that foot, Isobel?
385
00:22:16,804 --> 00:22:19,165
- I'll be all right.
386
00:22:19,165 --> 00:22:19,998
How is he?
387
00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:22,686
- He'll live, unfortunately.
388
00:22:22,686 --> 00:22:24,577
Minor burns to his lower legs.
389
00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:26,412
- He's in there talking
to John at the moment.
390
00:22:26,412 --> 00:22:28,662
And refuses to speak to me.
391
00:22:34,276 --> 00:22:36,308
- So, this noise.
392
00:22:36,308 --> 00:22:41,056
You say you went to
investigate, and then what?
393
00:22:41,056 --> 00:22:42,556
- It was horrible.
394
00:22:44,248 --> 00:22:45,998
I went into the barn,
395
00:22:47,335 --> 00:22:50,918
and there was this
sudden stench of sulfur.
396
00:22:52,057 --> 00:22:55,307
And then I heard a low, infernal laugh.
397
00:23:01,730 --> 00:23:03,813
When I raised my lantern,
398
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:08,273
I saw,
399
00:23:10,059 --> 00:23:11,476
it was the beast.
400
00:23:13,738 --> 00:23:14,738
And his name
401
00:23:16,564 --> 00:23:17,564
was Macbeth.
402
00:23:22,606 --> 00:23:25,612
- I mean, he actually said
it was me in the barn,
403
00:23:25,612 --> 00:23:27,711
and you should have seen that TV John,
404
00:23:27,711 --> 00:23:30,378
did he enjoy telling me or what.
405
00:23:31,273 --> 00:23:33,131
I mean, apparently he had these, ah,
406
00:23:33,131 --> 00:23:35,321
rather piercing green eyes.
407
00:23:35,321 --> 00:23:37,453
Cat's, I think they were.
408
00:23:37,453 --> 00:23:42,398
And then were was mention
of this low kind of chuckle.
409
00:23:42,398 --> 00:23:45,236
Why I, and there was
definitely hooves, you know.
410
00:23:45,236 --> 00:23:47,444
And a tail, but no horns.
411
00:23:47,444 --> 00:23:49,273
He was quite clear on that point.
412
00:23:49,273 --> 00:23:51,358
- You were out last night.
413
00:23:51,358 --> 00:23:52,775
Where did you go?
414
00:23:53,985 --> 00:23:55,235
- Well, I was--
415
00:23:56,690 --> 00:23:58,273
Hey, wait a minute.
416
00:24:01,123 --> 00:24:04,706
You don't think it was
me in there, do you?
417
00:24:05,752 --> 00:24:06,585
Alex.
418
00:24:08,102 --> 00:24:10,221
Look, there's a perfectly
simple explanation for all this,
419
00:24:10,221 --> 00:24:12,221
I mean, there has to be.
420
00:24:14,594 --> 00:24:16,861
Right, I'll prove it to you.
421
00:24:16,861 --> 00:24:17,920
A perfectly simple explanation.
422
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,136
- Okay, prove it.
423
00:24:19,136 --> 00:24:20,020
- I mean, I cannot believe you,
424
00:24:20,020 --> 00:24:24,187
I can't even believe we're
having this conversation.
425
00:24:50,299 --> 00:24:52,388
- Well there, Hamish.
426
00:24:52,388 --> 00:24:54,638
- Peter, please. Any ideas?
427
00:24:55,969 --> 00:24:59,586
- A man dropped a lamp,
Hamish, that's about it.
428
00:24:59,586 --> 00:25:01,100
We were on our way back from another call
429
00:25:01,100 --> 00:25:04,457
when this one came through,
so we got here a bit sharpish.
430
00:25:04,457 --> 00:25:06,131
Could have saved more of the place,
431
00:25:06,131 --> 00:25:08,087
if it hadn't been for that damned hold up.
432
00:25:08,087 --> 00:25:09,434
- Who was that?
433
00:25:09,434 --> 00:25:12,181
- Some heffie in a hurry.
434
00:25:12,181 --> 00:25:14,116
First of all, he nearly rammed us.
435
00:25:14,116 --> 00:25:15,564
Then we had to wait for him to back up
436
00:25:15,564 --> 00:25:17,156
'til we could get by him.
437
00:25:17,156 --> 00:25:19,658
- Tattoo on his forehead, blue BMW?
438
00:25:19,658 --> 00:25:21,023
- Aye, that's him.
439
00:25:21,023 --> 00:25:21,938
- Zoot McPherrin.
440
00:25:21,938 --> 00:25:24,699
Ah, well I'll be able to
tell him to check his speed.
441
00:25:24,699 --> 00:25:26,752
Surprising, though, Zoot generally does,
442
00:25:26,752 --> 00:25:30,752
on account of, a kind of
sedate model, you know.
443
00:25:31,587 --> 00:25:34,585
Hamish.
444
00:25:34,585 --> 00:25:35,418
Hamish.
445
00:25:42,211 --> 00:25:44,530
Okay lads, let's
finish this off, right?
446
00:25:44,530 --> 00:25:47,434
- Hamish, what's happening here?
447
00:25:47,434 --> 00:25:51,010
I knew nothing but happiness
here 'til all this started.
448
00:25:51,010 --> 00:25:52,343
What's going on?
449
00:25:53,876 --> 00:25:55,709
- I don't know, Jubal.
450
00:25:58,031 --> 00:25:59,114
I don't know.
451
00:26:04,046 --> 00:26:06,635
- So, what do you reckon then, minister?
452
00:26:06,635 --> 00:26:09,037
Did McBean see Ol' Nick, or what?
453
00:26:09,037 --> 00:26:11,037
- What?
- The devil, man.
454
00:26:14,020 --> 00:26:16,077
- There's no such thing, it's a myth.
455
00:26:16,077 --> 00:26:19,034
- So you're saying McBean's going bananas.
456
00:26:19,034 --> 00:26:23,034
Well, it has to be one
or the other, doesn't it?
457
00:26:25,027 --> 00:26:27,444
- Would you please excuse me?
458
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,193
- That is a worried man.
459
00:26:33,193 --> 00:26:35,271
- I'm with you, Lachie Jr.
460
00:26:35,271 --> 00:26:37,488
That man knows a thing
about this devil business,
461
00:26:37,488 --> 00:26:38,556
you mark my words.
462
00:26:38,556 --> 00:26:41,749
- Well, my brave husband's
taking no chances,
463
00:26:41,749 --> 00:26:42,582
are you, Barney?
464
00:26:42,582 --> 00:26:44,867
- Don't start, Agnes, just don't start.
465
00:26:44,867 --> 00:26:46,020
- What do you mean, Agnes?
466
00:26:46,020 --> 00:26:47,478
- Use your nose, Lachlan.
467
00:26:47,478 --> 00:26:49,645
Or if not that, your eyes.
468
00:26:50,857 --> 00:26:52,380
Look.
469
00:26:52,380 --> 00:26:54,878
Garlic, to ward off evil spirits.
470
00:26:54,878 --> 00:26:56,758
I just thought
I'd give the bar a more--
471
00:26:56,758 --> 00:26:58,525
A kind of a Continental feel.
472
00:26:58,525 --> 00:26:59,936
Exactly, Lachlan.
473
00:26:59,936 --> 00:27:01,502
- And how does this lend itself to
474
00:27:01,502 --> 00:27:04,516
the general ambience of the place?
475
00:27:04,516 --> 00:27:08,099
Sometimes I wish I'd
listened to my mother.
476
00:27:15,301 --> 00:27:17,705
- Wouldn't have any more of
these, would you, Barney?
477
00:27:17,705 --> 00:27:18,942
- You winding me up, Lachlan?
478
00:27:18,942 --> 00:27:19,839
- Nope!
479
00:27:19,839 --> 00:27:20,992
If there's any protecting to be done,
480
00:27:20,992 --> 00:27:23,565
I want some for me and the boy, here.
481
00:27:23,565 --> 00:27:27,024
- Well, actually, against
forces of this magnitude,
482
00:27:27,024 --> 00:27:29,552
the ol' garlic is pretty puny stuff.
483
00:27:29,552 --> 00:27:33,052
What we need is something far more potent.
484
00:27:35,325 --> 00:27:37,158
- What about chillies?
485
00:27:39,182 --> 00:27:40,015
Heads up.
486
00:27:40,015 --> 00:27:41,081
- John.
487
00:27:41,081 --> 00:27:41,914
- Hamish.
488
00:27:46,895 --> 00:27:48,529
- Did you see that?
489
00:27:48,529 --> 00:27:50,491
- I saw it, all right.
490
00:27:50,491 --> 00:27:51,885
Aye, Hamish lad.
491
00:27:51,885 --> 00:27:53,940
Aye.
492
00:27:53,940 --> 00:27:55,945
- Woo, that's it for me, boys.
493
00:27:55,945 --> 00:27:58,378
If TV John McIver's worried,
494
00:27:58,378 --> 00:27:59,795
that's it for me.
495
00:28:04,369 --> 00:28:06,036
- Nice shot, Isobel.
496
00:28:07,005 --> 00:28:08,303
How's the foot?
497
00:28:08,303 --> 00:28:11,136
- It's fine. Bit sore, that's all.
498
00:28:12,799 --> 00:28:13,632
- Good.
499
00:28:26,255 --> 00:28:28,755
- So, how are things with you?
500
00:28:29,894 --> 00:28:30,811
- Not good.
501
00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:36,874
Alex thinks I was in the barn.
502
00:28:36,874 --> 00:28:38,102
Not with the horns and
the tail, of course,
503
00:28:38,102 --> 00:28:40,352
but she thinks I was there.
504
00:28:44,642 --> 00:28:46,085
She thinks I went for McBean because of
505
00:28:46,085 --> 00:28:48,502
what he did to you, actually.
506
00:28:50,113 --> 00:28:52,920
Because of what I feel for,
507
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,198
because of what Alex
thinks I might feel for--
508
00:28:55,198 --> 00:28:56,948
- I see.
- You, yeah.
509
00:28:59,959 --> 00:29:01,851
Anyway, if I can just
prove I wasn't in the barn,
510
00:29:01,851 --> 00:29:06,018
find out what happened,
then everything'll be okay.
511
00:29:08,787 --> 00:29:11,399
She has to be able to
trust me, Isobel, you know.
512
00:29:11,399 --> 00:29:13,732
It's the least she deserves.
513
00:29:17,822 --> 00:29:19,631
After all, I did ask her
to come back to Lochdubh.
514
00:29:19,631 --> 00:29:23,680
- Hamish, why are you telling me all this?
515
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:24,513
- Why?
516
00:29:28,189 --> 00:29:32,313
Well, because we've never
talked about us, that's why.
517
00:29:32,313 --> 00:29:35,305
And I just wanted you to
know why I did what I did.
518
00:29:35,305 --> 00:29:36,305
- Us?
- Yeah.
519
00:29:37,657 --> 00:29:38,990
- There's no us.
520
00:29:40,788 --> 00:29:42,371
You live with Alex.
521
00:29:43,875 --> 00:29:46,958
That's that, as far as I'm concerned.
522
00:29:49,117 --> 00:29:50,450
- Yeah.
- Mmmhmm.
523
00:29:54,326 --> 00:29:56,576
It's not a problem, Hamish.
524
00:30:03,110 --> 00:30:05,527
So, what are you going to do?
525
00:30:07,548 --> 00:30:09,965
- Oh, I don't know, not sure.
526
00:30:11,357 --> 00:30:13,041
If I can just get a starting point,
527
00:30:13,041 --> 00:30:15,291
then everything'll be fine.
528
00:30:17,436 --> 00:30:19,436
Come on, Isobel, please.
529
00:30:20,933 --> 00:30:23,036
There might
be something going on
530
00:30:23,036 --> 00:30:24,517
at the McBean farm.
531
00:30:24,517 --> 00:30:27,228
It's just gossip Flora says, but,
532
00:30:27,228 --> 00:30:30,395
well, something Esme Murray hinted at.
533
00:30:35,911 --> 00:30:37,034
The only way we know,
534
00:30:37,034 --> 00:30:38,871
is the only way to keep them like out.
535
00:30:38,871 --> 00:30:41,955
Come on, keep
up, Lach, keep up now.
536
00:30:41,955 --> 00:30:43,157
- Well, it's not one discussed at--
537
00:30:43,157 --> 00:30:45,056
- Oh, why not, lad?
538
00:30:45,056 --> 00:30:46,472
- You sure?
539
00:30:46,472 --> 00:30:48,851
- We didn't come here for tea, TV John.
540
00:30:48,851 --> 00:30:50,155
- We want protection.
541
00:30:50,155 --> 00:30:52,255
- Spiritual protection.
542
00:30:52,255 --> 00:30:54,856
Is there anything we can do, TV John?
543
00:30:54,856 --> 00:30:57,779
- Well, there is, as a matter of fact.
544
00:30:57,779 --> 00:30:59,920
There's an old Aztec ceremony.
545
00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:01,096
Aztec?
546
00:31:01,096 --> 00:31:05,906
- Oh yes. I learned it
down in Veracruz, you see.
547
00:31:05,906 --> 00:31:07,905
Now that's in Mexico, Lachie Jr.
548
00:31:07,905 --> 00:31:09,982
- Veracruz, TV John?
549
00:31:09,982 --> 00:31:14,149
- Oh yes, I had spent all but
my last few pesos on bad rum.
550
00:31:15,435 --> 00:31:17,392
And I woke up in an alley
where that turned on me
551
00:31:17,392 --> 00:31:19,324
like Gandhi's flipflop.
552
00:31:19,324 --> 00:31:22,074
So, I went for a hair of the dog.
553
00:31:23,437 --> 00:31:27,299
I went into this small, cool cantina,
554
00:31:27,299 --> 00:31:30,594
and as I was sitting
there, sipping my cure,
555
00:31:30,594 --> 00:31:33,677
I saw this very beautiful young girl.
556
00:31:35,042 --> 00:31:39,297
We were about the same age,
and she was staring at me.
557
00:31:39,297 --> 00:31:43,683
I couldn't think why, for
I'd never much to look at.
558
00:31:43,683 --> 00:31:47,850
But it transpired, that it
was my aura she could see.
559
00:31:49,901 --> 00:31:52,162
When we eventually spoke,
560
00:31:52,162 --> 00:31:54,892
she told me that she
was directly descended
561
00:31:54,892 --> 00:31:56,475
from Aztec royalty.
562
00:31:57,616 --> 00:32:00,033
Maybe even Atahualpa himself.
563
00:32:01,723 --> 00:32:04,306
Anyway, over the next few days,
564
00:32:05,437 --> 00:32:09,679
she taught me a great deal
about my psychic gifts,
565
00:32:09,679 --> 00:32:11,262
as well as her own.
566
00:32:13,097 --> 00:32:15,961
She told me how her
people had traditionally
567
00:32:15,961 --> 00:32:19,330
protected themselves from
the forces of darkness.
568
00:32:21,983 --> 00:32:26,150
Ah, but you boys would never
be up for something like that.
569
00:32:27,949 --> 00:32:28,782
- Try us.
570
00:32:30,559 --> 00:32:34,129
Geranium.
571
00:32:34,129 --> 00:32:37,469
That's, ah, four syllables, I believe.
572
00:32:37,469 --> 00:32:39,136
- I can count, Rory.
573
00:32:51,818 --> 00:32:53,046
- I don't have anything to go on.
574
00:32:53,046 --> 00:32:54,316
I mean, I'm desperate, Esme.
575
00:32:54,316 --> 00:32:55,649
- Join the club.
576
00:32:57,010 --> 00:32:59,343
- Well, it's a bit delicate.
577
00:33:01,577 --> 00:33:04,608
But since you're the law, Hamish.
578
00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:06,618
It was a, it was a couple of months back.
579
00:33:06,618 --> 00:33:10,441
I was coming off the bus from Inverness,
580
00:33:10,441 --> 00:33:13,708
having just visited a sick friend,
581
00:33:13,708 --> 00:33:16,622
when I noticed Bethsheba.
582
00:33:16,622 --> 00:33:18,763
She was getting off in front of me.
583
00:33:18,763 --> 00:33:21,173
And she dropped her shoulder bag.
584
00:33:21,173 --> 00:33:25,081
I gave her a hand to gather up her things.
585
00:33:25,081 --> 00:33:25,914
- Go on.
586
00:33:27,612 --> 00:33:29,529
- That's when I saw it.
587
00:33:30,930 --> 00:33:32,263
Black underwear.
588
00:33:34,214 --> 00:33:37,870
Well, then I saw her eyes
and I knew for certain.
589
00:33:37,870 --> 00:33:39,703
She'd had a good time.
590
00:33:41,244 --> 00:33:43,336
See, women can't hide that kind of thing
591
00:33:43,336 --> 00:33:45,336
from each other, Hamish.
592
00:33:46,793 --> 00:33:49,070
- Was Malachi there?
593
00:33:49,070 --> 00:33:51,380
- Hamish, you're not listening.
594
00:33:51,380 --> 00:33:53,797
I said she'd had a good time.
595
00:33:59,550 --> 00:34:00,550
Right. Okay.
596
00:34:04,027 --> 00:34:04,860
- Hamish.
597
00:34:04,860 --> 00:34:05,693
Hm.
598
00:34:10,485 --> 00:34:13,810
Go.
599
00:34:31,051 --> 00:34:31,884
- Hambo.
600
00:34:41,102 --> 00:34:42,693
You'll forgive my friends if they seem
601
00:34:42,693 --> 00:34:44,776
a wee bit skittish, Hambo.
602
00:34:44,776 --> 00:34:48,117
But, we've had reports of
a certain manifestation.
603
00:34:49,716 --> 00:34:52,070
Of a certain VIP from the nether regions
604
00:34:52,070 --> 00:34:53,830
showing up on your perch.
605
00:34:53,830 --> 00:34:55,579
- Bollocks.
606
00:35:04,865 --> 00:35:09,029
- This cat in the car, you
haven't got any description.
607
00:35:09,029 --> 00:35:11,757
- No, the firemen were too
busy trying to get to the fire.
608
00:35:11,757 --> 00:35:14,217
- Ah, that is unfortunate, Hambo.
609
00:35:14,217 --> 00:35:15,999
But you can rule me out.
610
00:35:15,999 --> 00:35:18,911
Last night, I was a million
miles from Lochdubh,
611
00:35:18,911 --> 00:35:20,960
metaphysically speaking.
612
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:24,112
No, I was surfing the astral waves.
613
00:35:24,112 --> 00:35:27,069
A kaleidoscope of the exquisite hues,
614
00:35:27,069 --> 00:35:31,847
indigoes, violets, the
most magnificent crimson.
615
00:35:31,847 --> 00:35:32,933
- Yeah, I think I know the spot.
616
00:35:33,859 --> 00:35:34,776
- Oh, geez.
617
00:35:36,810 --> 00:35:40,055
- I hope you can believe
me when I say this, Hambo.
618
00:35:40,055 --> 00:35:43,695
I'm really sorry I can't help you.
619
00:35:43,695 --> 00:35:44,655
You've got the birch twigs?
620
00:35:44,655 --> 00:35:46,703
I've got them, one each.
621
00:35:46,703 --> 00:35:47,536
- Have you got them?
622
00:35:47,536 --> 00:35:48,660
I've got it, I've got it.
623
00:35:48,660 --> 00:35:49,503
- Then come on, I don't
want to be out here
624
00:35:49,503 --> 00:35:52,920
a minute longer than is necessary, right?
625
00:36:08,692 --> 00:36:10,609
- Flowers by Bethsheba.
626
00:36:14,595 --> 00:36:17,598
Heeya, Hiyah, Hooyah, ah.
627
00:36:17,598 --> 00:36:19,681
Heeya, Hiyah, Hooyah, ah.
628
00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:23,095
Heeya, Hiyah, Hooyah, ah.
629
00:36:27,762 --> 00:36:29,044
Heeya, Hiyah, Hooyah, Hiyah.
630
00:36:29,877 --> 00:36:30,710
- John.
631
00:36:30,710 --> 00:36:35,023
Shhh, keep down, keep down.
632
00:36:35,023 --> 00:36:36,023
- Oh my god.
633
00:36:37,833 --> 00:36:38,935
- Doesn't it make you
think, though, Agnes,
634
00:36:38,935 --> 00:36:41,531
that civilization is such a thin veneer.
635
00:36:43,031 --> 00:36:44,882
How could you do it, John?
636
00:36:44,882 --> 00:36:47,322
- You did free beer for a month.
637
00:36:50,646 --> 00:36:51,813
AHHHH!
638
00:37:12,964 --> 00:37:14,864
Ask me who's a clever boy, then.
639
00:37:14,864 --> 00:37:15,781
- Who?
- Me.
640
00:37:17,097 --> 00:37:18,324
I know what happened.
641
00:37:18,324 --> 00:37:20,741
Now, I told you there's be a
perfectly simple expanation
642
00:37:20,741 --> 00:37:22,324
for this, didn't I?
643
00:37:23,805 --> 00:37:27,972
Bethsheba McBean is having an
affair with Zoot McPherrin.
644
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,502
Now, this I know, because she was spotted
645
00:37:31,502 --> 00:37:32,939
coming off a bus from Inverness
646
00:37:32,939 --> 00:37:35,412
with black underwear and a certain look.
647
00:37:35,412 --> 00:37:38,345
This, I know because Zoot
was seen later driving
648
00:37:38,345 --> 00:37:41,342
fast away from the McBean
house on the night of the fire.
649
00:37:41,342 --> 00:37:43,561
A fact he subsequently denied.
650
00:37:43,561 --> 00:37:44,524
Now, why would he do that?
651
00:37:44,524 --> 00:37:47,191
- I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
652
00:37:48,041 --> 00:37:49,820
- Zoot's in the barn.
653
00:37:49,820 --> 00:37:51,744
He's waiting for Bethsheba,
654
00:37:51,744 --> 00:37:54,166
but it's Malachi who happens along.
655
00:37:54,166 --> 00:37:55,833
Zoot jumps up, yeah?
656
00:37:57,165 --> 00:37:58,707
Gives him a fright.
657
00:37:58,707 --> 00:38:01,567
McBean drops the lamp, the fire starts,
658
00:38:01,567 --> 00:38:03,771
and what, with the smoke,
the flames, the confusion,
659
00:38:03,771 --> 00:38:06,185
and that maniac's
obsession with the devil,
660
00:38:06,185 --> 00:38:08,295
he sees what he wants to see.
661
00:38:08,295 --> 00:38:10,521
What he's wanted to see
all his life, probably.
662
00:38:10,521 --> 00:38:11,616
- It's ridiculous.
663
00:38:11,616 --> 00:38:13,833
Zoot McPherrin, he'd
never look at Bethsheba.
664
00:38:13,833 --> 00:38:16,330
- Isn't that just a tad sexist?
665
00:38:16,330 --> 00:38:17,885
- There's no need for that.
666
00:38:17,885 --> 00:38:20,051
There's no need for any of this.
667
00:38:20,051 --> 00:38:21,349
If you say you weren't in the barn,
668
00:38:21,349 --> 00:38:23,024
you weren't in the barn, okay.
669
00:38:23,024 --> 00:38:24,274
- No, not okay.
670
00:38:25,701 --> 00:38:28,833
- Hamish, I'm tired, I want to go to bed.
671
00:38:28,833 --> 00:38:31,081
Are you coming, or do
you intend continuing
672
00:38:31,081 --> 00:38:32,658
with your inquiries?
673
00:38:32,658 --> 00:38:33,825
- Not tonight.
674
00:38:36,045 --> 00:38:38,962
At least Isobel was trying to help.
675
00:38:41,637 --> 00:38:44,637
- I'm sure you'll make a great team.
676
00:40:00,596 --> 00:40:04,263
- What happened between them, John?
677
00:40:04,263 --> 00:40:06,263
- Well, whatever it was,
678
00:40:07,187 --> 00:40:11,746
can you not see that he's
trying to reassure you about it?
679
00:40:11,746 --> 00:40:13,277
- How long was he there?
680
00:40:13,277 --> 00:40:15,545
- Just a couple of minutes.
681
00:40:15,545 --> 00:40:16,598
- Talking to Malachi?
682
00:40:16,598 --> 00:40:18,939
- Mmhmm.
-
683
00:40:18,939 --> 00:40:20,022
Oh, but, why?
684
00:40:22,202 --> 00:40:24,452
It doesn't even make sense.
685
00:40:26,990 --> 00:40:27,951
- Maybe Esme's wrong,
686
00:40:27,951 --> 00:40:32,206
and Bethsheba's not
having an affair at all.
687
00:40:39,307 --> 00:40:40,342
- Hey there, Neil.
688
00:40:40,342 --> 00:40:42,414
- Well, Hamish, it's yourself?
689
00:40:42,414 --> 00:40:44,079
It is yourself, I hope.
690
00:40:44,079 --> 00:40:45,854
- Aye, it's me, Neil.
691
00:40:45,854 --> 00:40:48,424
Listen, ah, I'm looking
for a bit of information
692
00:40:48,424 --> 00:40:51,626
of a rather sensitive nature here.
693
00:40:51,626 --> 00:40:53,277
Bethsheba McBean.
694
00:40:53,277 --> 00:40:54,110
- Aye.
695
00:40:54,110 --> 00:40:55,291
- Do you think she's ahh--
696
00:40:55,291 --> 00:40:57,635
Very definitely, Hamish.
697
00:40:57,635 --> 00:40:58,468
- Good, good.
698
00:40:58,468 --> 00:41:01,653
- With the minister, the Reverend Snow.
699
00:41:01,653 --> 00:41:02,663
- What?
700
00:41:02,663 --> 00:41:06,711
- Aye. I noticed it after
about the third trip.
701
00:41:06,711 --> 00:41:09,461
He would sit at the
back, she at the front,
702
00:41:09,461 --> 00:41:12,044
studiously ignoring each other.
703
00:41:12,972 --> 00:41:14,805
- Hamish, is that you?
704
00:41:17,622 --> 00:41:19,258
- Yeah, it's me.
705
00:41:19,258 --> 00:41:20,588
Reverend Snow around?
706
00:41:20,588 --> 00:41:22,383
- He got a phone call from Malachi.
707
00:41:22,383 --> 00:41:23,216
- Malachi?
708
00:41:24,359 --> 00:41:26,352
What's he said?
709
00:41:29,169 --> 00:41:31,500
- Very good, Jimmy.
710
00:41:31,500 --> 00:41:34,583
- Just that much, you move that much.
711
00:41:36,037 --> 00:41:38,198
I get by without you noticing.
712
00:41:39,334 --> 00:41:40,417
- Pleeeeease.
713
00:41:47,823 --> 00:41:49,382
- And the Lord spake,
unto this humble servant,
714
00:41:49,382 --> 00:41:52,886
and he said, "Malachi,
does thy really think
715
00:41:52,886 --> 00:41:56,248
that Macbeth could assume
the guise of the fallen one,
716
00:41:56,248 --> 00:41:57,636
without help?"
717
00:41:57,636 --> 00:42:00,636
"No, no, no," he said, "Seek he out,
718
00:42:01,543 --> 00:42:04,568
he who claims to walk in my light.
719
00:42:04,568 --> 00:42:07,818
And there shall ye find your tormentor.
720
00:42:09,034 --> 00:42:12,367
The one who claims to walk in my light."
721
00:42:14,300 --> 00:42:17,133
Well, it was obvious who he meant.
722
00:42:20,296 --> 00:42:22,562
- What have you done with Bethsheba?
723
00:42:22,562 --> 00:42:23,895
- Done with her?
724
00:42:25,310 --> 00:42:28,391
Well, she's gone to the
shops, it's Thursday, man.
725
00:42:28,391 --> 00:42:32,278
And I've sent the brethren
up Mount Ben to meditate,
726
00:42:32,278 --> 00:42:34,974
so it's just you and me.
727
00:42:36,482 --> 00:42:41,346
So I said to the Lord,
"Lord, how shall I dispatch
728
00:42:41,346 --> 00:42:43,346
your fallen ones aside?"
729
00:42:44,599 --> 00:42:48,099
The Lord said, "In the usual way, Malachi.
730
00:42:49,714 --> 00:42:51,214
In the usual way."
731
00:42:58,191 --> 00:43:00,024
- You're not yourself!
732
00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:06,274
- That felt so good.
733
00:43:06,274 --> 00:43:08,607
- Hambo, what have you done?
734
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:14,207
- You, phone Alex, tell to
bring Doc Brown up here.
735
00:43:20,133 --> 00:43:21,525
- Are we meant to continue wondering why
736
00:43:21,525 --> 00:43:23,106
you've gathered us all here, Hamish?
737
00:43:23,106 --> 00:43:24,003
I, for one, would like to know
738
00:43:24,003 --> 00:43:26,920
what happened to Malachi's head.
739
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,337
- It's perfectly simple, Doc.
740
00:43:31,984 --> 00:43:32,817
- He
741
00:43:33,997 --> 00:43:36,497
was having an affair with her.
742
00:43:37,939 --> 00:43:39,106
But so was he.
743
00:43:41,053 --> 00:43:44,007
And you see, he must have
wanted to have a clear field,
744
00:43:44,007 --> 00:43:45,174
so he told him
745
00:43:46,175 --> 00:43:47,508
about these two.
746
00:43:49,074 --> 00:43:50,859
I'm sure as, Doc,
747
00:43:50,859 --> 00:43:54,851
when you fixed him up, I'm
lifting him for attempted murder.
748
00:43:54,851 --> 00:43:56,967
I'm sorry, Zoot.
749
00:43:56,967 --> 00:43:58,988
I'm going to have to
lift you for conspiracy.
750
00:43:58,988 --> 00:44:02,488
- I'm sorry, Hambo, that's not how it was.
751
00:44:03,913 --> 00:44:05,584
- Okay, Zoot, you tell me how it was.
752
00:44:05,584 --> 00:44:08,580
- Well, I was meant to
come in and rescue Alan,
753
00:44:08,580 --> 00:44:10,469
but one of these Highland cows.
754
00:44:10,469 --> 00:44:12,939
- Zoot's telling the truth.
755
00:44:12,939 --> 00:44:14,433
He was out here late one night,
756
00:44:14,433 --> 00:44:17,166
and he saw Bethsheba and
the Reverend Snow together.
757
00:44:17,166 --> 00:44:20,661
- Mr. McPherrin, you told Malachi?
758
00:44:20,661 --> 00:44:22,139
- Of course, dearie.
759
00:44:22,139 --> 00:44:24,930
- After all those long talks we'd had.
760
00:44:24,930 --> 00:44:26,081
- What long talks?
761
00:44:26,081 --> 00:44:28,444
- Well, I advised Bethsheba
to do her own thing.
762
00:44:28,444 --> 00:44:30,738
To leave Malachi, move off
with the Reverend Snow.
763
00:44:30,738 --> 00:44:32,579
- And she would have, Mr. Macbeth,
764
00:44:32,579 --> 00:44:35,323
but Alan here respected me,
and he was worried about
765
00:44:35,323 --> 00:44:36,330
what the community might think about
766
00:44:36,330 --> 00:44:38,572
a minister who took another man's wife.
767
00:44:38,572 --> 00:44:40,593
- How do you know these things?
768
00:44:40,593 --> 00:44:41,426
- Zoot told me.
769
00:44:41,426 --> 00:44:42,534
- Bethsheba told me.
770
00:44:42,534 --> 00:44:43,395
- The long talks.
771
00:44:43,395 --> 00:44:44,610
- Right, Doc.
772
00:44:45,443 --> 00:44:48,413
- We decided to force
Alan's hand, Mr. Macbeth.
773
00:44:48,413 --> 00:44:50,524
I became such an ogre,
774
00:44:50,524 --> 00:44:52,791
he would be forced to take Bethsheba away.
775
00:44:52,791 --> 00:44:54,260
- Hence the religious mania.
776
00:44:54,260 --> 00:44:55,093
The clothes and things.
777
00:44:55,093 --> 00:44:55,926
- Correct, Doc.
778
00:44:55,926 --> 00:44:59,619
Malachi the Good became
Malachi the Mad and the Bad.
779
00:44:59,619 --> 00:45:00,824
- And this also had the effect of
780
00:45:00,824 --> 00:45:02,613
turning the community away from you,
781
00:45:02,613 --> 00:45:04,826
so they'd support Alan,
if and when he tried to
782
00:45:04,826 --> 00:45:05,994
take Bethsheba from you.
783
00:45:05,994 --> 00:45:08,497
- Doc, can I ask the questions?
784
00:45:08,497 --> 00:45:09,384
- Sorry, Hamish.
785
00:45:09,384 --> 00:45:13,891
- But despite everything I
did, Alan wouldn't budge.
786
00:45:13,891 --> 00:45:15,101
And my feet were killing me.
787
00:45:15,101 --> 00:45:19,268
- Now, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
788
00:45:20,119 --> 00:45:23,869
If you wanted her and
him to get it together,
789
00:45:25,603 --> 00:45:28,466
then why didn't you just tell her and him?
790
00:45:28,466 --> 00:45:30,060
- Yes, why didn't you?
791
00:45:30,060 --> 00:45:33,028
- Hamish, Hamish, that would never do.
792
00:45:33,028 --> 00:45:36,168
That would be Malachi
the Good, the Ultra-Good,
793
00:45:36,168 --> 00:45:37,099
and sooner or later,
794
00:45:37,099 --> 00:45:39,363
Alan's feelings of guilt
for having hurt Malachi
795
00:45:39,363 --> 00:45:41,763
would have destroyed his
relationship with Bethsheba.
796
00:45:41,763 --> 00:45:42,680
- That's what Zoot said.
797
00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:44,784
- Basic psychology, Hambo.
798
00:45:44,784 --> 00:45:46,699
Really, very simple.
799
00:45:52,424 --> 00:45:53,424
Right, then.
800
00:45:54,612 --> 00:45:56,779
And this'd better be good.
801
00:45:58,586 --> 00:46:02,086
Why would you want Bethsheba to leave you?
802
00:46:08,543 --> 00:46:12,460
- So that she could enjoy
the love she'd found.
803
00:46:15,363 --> 00:46:18,946
And so that I might be
free, to enjoy mine.
804
00:46:21,972 --> 00:46:22,805
- Malachi.
805
00:46:28,052 --> 00:46:30,065
- I thought you might had a wee inkling.
806
00:46:30,065 --> 00:46:31,544
Sure Alex did.
807
00:46:31,544 --> 00:46:34,079
A wee while back, some friends
and I arranged a weekend
808
00:46:34,079 --> 00:46:37,185
of perception development in Apple Cross.
809
00:46:37,185 --> 00:46:38,798
Malachi came up to remonstrate with us,
810
00:46:38,798 --> 00:46:40,715
but, when our eyes met,
811
00:46:42,830 --> 00:46:45,497
there was to be no remonstrance.
812
00:46:47,408 --> 00:46:49,658
- You two were in the barn.
813
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:53,811
- I dropped the lamp,
814
00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:57,730
when I heard Bethsheba coming,
I had to think of something.
815
00:46:57,730 --> 00:47:01,153
I am still a minister in the
Church of the Stony Path.
816
00:47:05,379 --> 00:47:08,174
I am sure that the people in this room
817
00:47:08,174 --> 00:47:11,738
can keep a confidence, if
you consider it necessary
818
00:47:11,738 --> 00:47:14,821
for the good of your church, Malachi.
819
00:47:16,474 --> 00:47:19,474
- But, but, what are we doing to do?
820
00:47:20,410 --> 00:47:22,248
- Well, I think you
should move in with Alan.
821
00:47:22,248 --> 00:47:23,127
- Now?
822
00:47:23,127 --> 00:47:24,777
- We can say that I'm giving you refuge.
823
00:47:24,777 --> 00:47:27,438
The community has turned
against Malachi, Bethsheba.
824
00:47:27,438 --> 00:47:29,066
- Meanwhile, you file for divorce.
825
00:47:29,066 --> 00:47:30,381
- And when young Jubal's old enough,
826
00:47:30,381 --> 00:47:32,763
then he can take over and
Malachi can move in with me.
827
00:47:32,763 --> 00:47:33,954
- I'm ready, are you coming?
828
00:47:33,954 --> 00:47:34,793
- Are you kidding?
829
00:47:34,793 --> 00:47:36,549
- What will you and
Zoot do in the meantime?
830
00:47:36,549 --> 00:47:38,228
- Now we can continue to meet.
831
00:47:38,228 --> 00:47:40,495
We can time it so that
our holidays coincide.
832
00:47:40,495 --> 00:47:43,282
- I have a substantial
villa in the Algarve.
833
00:47:43,282 --> 00:47:45,114
- Oh, the Algarve!
834
00:47:45,114 --> 00:47:47,362
Oh, that's wonderful!
835
00:47:51,906 --> 00:47:53,437
- Just like I said,
836
00:47:53,437 --> 00:47:55,145
a perfectly simple explanation.
837
00:47:55,145 --> 00:47:57,415
- Oh, it was just exactly like you said.
838
00:47:57,415 --> 00:47:59,879
- Well, thanks very much, Alex.
839
00:47:59,879 --> 00:48:02,749
I've been hurting to prove
that I wasn't in the barn.
840
00:48:02,749 --> 00:48:04,295
And I did that for you.
841
00:48:04,295 --> 00:48:07,370
- Hamish, all you had to do was say
842
00:48:07,370 --> 00:48:10,179
that you had no feelings for Isobel.
843
00:48:14,846 --> 00:48:17,333
Well, are you coming?
844
00:48:17,333 --> 00:48:20,666
- Yeah, later. Doc'll be needing a lift.
59263
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