Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,016 --> 00:00:04,006
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:07,001 --> 00:00:08,021
[crickets chirping]
3
00:00:11,004 --> 00:00:12,014
I don't know why
4
00:00:12,016 --> 00:00:15,006
but this painting
always makes me laugh.
5
00:00:15,014 --> 00:00:17,024
Punch? Judy? Wrap it up.
6
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:20,008
It'll look nice
in the bathroom.
7
00:00:20,016 --> 00:00:21,996
(Batgirl)
'Bathroom?'
8
00:00:24,003 --> 00:00:25,013
[handcuffs clicks]
9
00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:28,020
I consider the bathroom
10
00:00:29,001 --> 00:00:31,001
more of a library
than art gallery.
11
00:00:32,005 --> 00:00:33,005
[growls]
12
00:00:33,008 --> 00:00:34,008
Judy!
13
00:00:36,011 --> 00:00:38,011
Huh-uhh!
14
00:00:39,002 --> 00:00:40,012
Unh-uhh!
15
00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:43,019
Someone should frame that move
16
00:00:43,021 --> 00:00:46,021
because it was a masterpiece.
17
00:00:46,022 --> 00:00:48,022
The kids are here
18
00:00:48,021 --> 00:00:51,011
but where's the den mother?
19
00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:52,020
Huh?
20
00:00:52,021 --> 00:00:55,011
Hey! Whoa!
21
00:00:55,009 --> 00:00:56,019
Have you seen my latest piece?
22
00:00:57,001 --> 00:00:59,011
It's called bat-bits on canvas.
23
00:00:59,007 --> 00:01:00,017
Ha, ha, ha!
24
00:01:01,016 --> 00:01:03,006
[explosion]
25
00:01:09,019 --> 00:01:12,019
[theme music]
26
00:01:24,010 --> 00:01:27,010
vroom
27
00:01:28,022 --> 00:01:30,002
[Batclaw fires]
28
00:01:32,005 --> 00:01:33,005
screech
29
00:01:33,007 --> 00:01:34,007
boom
30
00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:45,019
[music continues]
31
00:02:06,011 --> 00:02:08,001
[instrumental music]
32
00:02:09,001 --> 00:02:12,001
[explosion]
33
00:02:13,003 --> 00:02:14,013
[gasping]
34
00:02:15,014 --> 00:02:16,024
Unh!
35
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,005
beep beep beep
36
00:02:19,010 --> 00:02:21,010
Oops! Gotta run.
37
00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:23,015
Ha, ha, ha!
38
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:26,018
Ah-ha, ha, ha!
39
00:02:26,019 --> 00:02:28,999
Don't look at me like that.
I'm going to be late!
40
00:02:29,021 --> 00:02:32,001
vroom
41
00:02:32,006 --> 00:02:33,996
[explosion]
42
00:02:34,005 --> 00:02:37,005
Ahh-ha ha ha!
43
00:02:42,021 --> 00:02:45,011
[police radio chatter]
44
00:02:47,005 --> 00:02:48,015
[siren wails]
45
00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:54,996
Looks like Joker's
gonna need some new goons.
46
00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:56,015
See if you two
can pick up his trail.
47
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,000
I'll join you shortly.
48
00:02:58,004 --> 00:02:59,024
Where are you going?
49
00:02:59,018 --> 00:03:02,008
I have to deal with a whole
other kind of craziness.
50
00:03:03,009 --> 00:03:04,009
[Batclaw fires]
51
00:03:13,023 --> 00:03:16,003
Hurry, hurry!
Can't miss it!
52
00:03:18,002 --> 00:03:20,012
- Yes!
- 'Here's Harley!'
53
00:03:20,016 --> 00:03:23,016
[audience cheers]
54
00:03:26,020 --> 00:03:29,000
Mwah! Hiya, folks.
55
00:03:29,004 --> 00:03:32,014
Time for an hour of love
and laughter with me
56
00:03:32,009 --> 00:03:34,009
Dr. Harleen Quinzel.
57
00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:37,013
[cheering]
58
00:03:39,007 --> 00:03:41,007
With Valentine's Day
right around the corner
59
00:03:41,015 --> 00:03:44,015
Harley's here
with helpful advice.
60
00:03:44,018 --> 00:03:45,018
Talk to me.
61
00:03:45,021 --> 00:03:47,001
(male #1)
'Uh, hi, Harley.'
62
00:03:47,004 --> 00:03:49,014
'Uh, there's this girl I like--'
63
00:03:49,009 --> 00:03:50,019
Three words, Romeo.
64
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:52,020
Flowers, flowers, flowers.
65
00:03:52,019 --> 00:03:54,019
And never take "No"
for an answer.
66
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:56,021
Have a good 'un, puddin'.
67
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,020
What's your query, deary?
68
00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:01,010
(female #1)
'Dr. Quinzel, last week'
69
00:04:01,009 --> 00:04:02,019
'you told a girl named Monica'
70
00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:03,020
'to ignore her parent's wishes'
71
00:04:03,023 --> 00:04:05,023
'and go out
with a guy named Stan.'
72
00:04:05,019 --> 00:04:10,009
I remember.
Two sweet, crazy kids in love.
73
00:04:10,009 --> 00:04:11,019
- 'I'm Monica's mother!'
- Ehh!
74
00:04:11,022 --> 00:04:13,012
'Where do you come off
telling her..'
75
00:04:13,012 --> 00:04:15,022
Umm, heh, sorry, folks.
76
00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:17,012
Just some nutcase.
77
00:04:17,015 --> 00:04:20,005
[whispering]
I told you to screen
those calls.
78
00:04:20,011 --> 00:04:22,001
We'll be right back.
79
00:04:22,006 --> 00:04:24,006
Think loving thoughts.
80
00:04:27,013 --> 00:04:29,013
Pop psychology at its worst.
81
00:04:29,015 --> 00:04:31,015
That girl's theories
are unfounded.
82
00:04:31,018 --> 00:04:33,008
Her professional manner's
a joke.
83
00:04:33,007 --> 00:04:36,017
And her training,
if any, is shoddy at best.
84
00:04:36,018 --> 00:04:38,018
I love this show!
85
00:04:38,022 --> 00:04:41,022
The girl's more screw-loose
than me!
86
00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:47,016
Oh, Jimmy Herbert,
Network Bigwig.
87
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,010
What brings you
to the set today?
88
00:04:50,012 --> 00:04:53,012
Let me guess.
In search of fashion advice?
89
00:04:53,011 --> 00:04:57,001
Speaking of advice, what kind
are you giving these people?
90
00:04:57,004 --> 00:04:59,024
Are you questioning me?
91
00:04:59,018 --> 00:05:00,998
Everyone who has
an online degree
92
00:05:01,006 --> 00:05:03,996
in psychology,
please raise your hand.
93
00:05:05,011 --> 00:05:06,021
Oh, okay.
94
00:05:06,019 --> 00:05:08,009
Then, how about we let
the professionals
95
00:05:08,010 --> 00:05:10,010
do their job.
Alright, hon?
96
00:05:10,011 --> 00:05:12,011
This show is supposed
to help people.
97
00:05:12,008 --> 00:05:13,998
You've turned it into a circus.
98
00:05:14,005 --> 00:05:15,015
I know!
99
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,010
And you wanna talk circus?
100
00:05:17,009 --> 00:05:19,019
Wait till you see
my Valentine's Day special.
101
00:05:19,023 --> 00:05:22,013
Look. There won't be
a Valentine's Day
102
00:05:22,009 --> 00:05:23,019
special if you keep this--
103
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,023
Oopsies! Gotta get back.
104
00:05:25,023 --> 00:05:27,023
Latersville.
105
00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:31,011
Welcome back.
I've got a real treat for you.
106
00:05:31,008 --> 00:05:34,018
'An exclusive,
very intimate one-on-one'
107
00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:37,020
'with Gotham's most elusive
bachelor..'
108
00:05:38,009 --> 00:05:40,009
...Bruce Wayne!
109
00:05:40,012 --> 00:05:42,012
[applause]
110
00:05:42,013 --> 00:05:45,013
Mmm, what's cookin',
good-lookin'?
111
00:05:45,007 --> 00:05:46,017
- Well, Dr. Quinzel--
- Ah!
112
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,010
- Oof. Uhh!
- Call me Harley.
113
00:05:49,007 --> 00:05:51,007
- Everyone does.
- Okay, Harley.
114
00:05:51,016 --> 00:05:53,006
I'd like to talk about
the Wayne Foundation's
115
00:05:53,016 --> 00:05:55,016
Charity Drive for crime victims.
116
00:05:55,020 --> 00:05:58,010
Oh, civic-minded, too.
117
00:05:58,014 --> 00:06:01,004
But let's talk
about your love life.
118
00:06:01,004 --> 00:06:03,024
Now, Harley. You promised
I'd have a chance to promote
119
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,010
the charity drive.
120
00:06:05,009 --> 00:06:06,999
[snoring]
121
00:06:08,007 --> 00:06:11,017
We want the juice, Bruce.
122
00:06:11,019 --> 00:06:15,019
This is your secret life,
Bruce Wayne!
123
00:06:15,017 --> 00:06:17,017
[cheering]
124
00:06:19,021 --> 00:06:21,011
[alarm ringing]
125
00:06:23,003 --> 00:06:24,023
[glass shatters]
126
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,017
- Uh-oh.
- Bruce?
127
00:06:26,017 --> 00:06:27,997
Oh, yeah.
128
00:06:28,002 --> 00:06:30,022
You remember Kiki,
don't you, Brucey?
129
00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:32,021
[audience jeering]
130
00:06:32,019 --> 00:06:34,009
Uucch!
131
00:06:34,012 --> 00:06:35,022
Well, she remembers you
132
00:06:35,021 --> 00:06:37,021
and she's dishing the dirt!
133
00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:40,011
[audience jeering]
134
00:06:40,012 --> 00:06:42,002
He-heh.
135
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,022
He's faced some pretty
nasty sneak-attacks
136
00:06:44,017 --> 00:06:45,997
but nothing like this.
137
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:47,015
We have to save him.
138
00:06:47,019 --> 00:06:48,019
It's too late, Robin.
139
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,010
There's nothing we can do.
140
00:06:50,015 --> 00:06:52,015
So we're having a nice dinner,
and suddenly, he's all
141
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:54,020
"I have to see
to some important business."
142
00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:58,012
Out Bruce Wayne runs,
leaving me to pay the check.
143
00:06:58,015 --> 00:06:59,995
[audience boos]
144
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:01,013
[sobbing]
145
00:07:01,010 --> 00:07:03,000
Oh, terrible.
146
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,005
Just terrible.
147
00:07:04,014 --> 00:07:06,014
[giggling]
148
00:07:06,007 --> 00:07:09,007
About time someone
stuck it to that rich oaf.
149
00:07:09,016 --> 00:07:12,006
How about we take
some calls now?
150
00:07:13,002 --> 00:07:14,012
[cellphone dials]
151
00:07:15,023 --> 00:07:18,023
Hi-hi, you're on
"Heart-to-heart with Harley."
152
00:07:18,017 --> 00:07:20,017
(Joker as Mr. J)
'Evening, Harley. Mr. J here.'
153
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:22,010
'Frequent watcher,
frequent caller.'
154
00:07:22,012 --> 00:07:23,022
'Great show tonight!'
155
00:07:23,022 --> 00:07:26,012
Mr. J, my favorite caller.
156
00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:28,013
Nice to hear from you again.
157
00:07:28,013 --> 00:07:30,013
Well, I just wanted
to say men like Bruce Wayne
158
00:07:30,015 --> 00:07:32,005
deserve to be baked
into a giant pie
159
00:07:32,011 --> 00:07:34,021
and then launched
into the side of a building.
160
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,010
Figuratively speaking,
of course.
161
00:07:37,007 --> 00:07:39,017
[giggling]
162
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:44,011
Gotta say, your mind works
in interesting ways, Mr. J.
163
00:07:44,011 --> 00:07:46,011
I've had enough of this.
I'm outta here.
164
00:07:46,015 --> 00:07:49,005
Uh-oh. Hey!
165
00:07:49,009 --> 00:07:50,019
Hold your horses, Brucey.
166
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,010
We're not done yet.
167
00:07:52,009 --> 00:07:54,019
Oh, yes, you are.
I'm sorry, Mr. Wayne.
168
00:07:54,019 --> 00:07:55,999
Neither this woman
nor this show
169
00:07:56,003 --> 00:07:57,023
will ever trouble you again.
170
00:07:57,022 --> 00:08:00,012
You're no psychologist.
You're a joke.
171
00:08:00,015 --> 00:08:02,005
- But--
- 'You're off the air!'
172
00:08:02,007 --> 00:08:03,997
Wha.. No!
173
00:08:07,017 --> 00:08:09,997
Oh, the poor kid!
Yanked in mid-show.
174
00:08:10,003 --> 00:08:12,013
She'll be an emotional wreck!
175
00:08:14,010 --> 00:08:17,020
Someone should
take advantage of that.
176
00:08:27,012 --> 00:08:28,022
Face it, Harley.
177
00:08:28,022 --> 00:08:31,002
No one's ever gonna
take you seriously
178
00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:33,013
as a psychologist.
179
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:36,022
They just can't see past
my playful exterior.
180
00:08:38,004 --> 00:08:40,014
Story of my life.
181
00:08:41,004 --> 00:08:42,024
[doorbell rings]
182
00:08:45,012 --> 00:08:47,022
- Hello?
- 'Dr. Quinzel?'
183
00:08:47,019 --> 00:08:50,999
(Joker)
'Forgive the intrusion,
but I just had to meet you.'
184
00:08:51,005 --> 00:08:53,015
'I'm your number-one fan.'
185
00:09:01,012 --> 00:09:03,022
I'm Mr. J.
186
00:09:05,021 --> 00:09:07,011
Huh?
187
00:09:12,021 --> 00:09:16,001
Must admit, I'm surprised
that you wanted to hang out.
188
00:09:18,019 --> 00:09:21,999
Most ladies would find
my lifestyle...eccentric.
189
00:09:22,006 --> 00:09:25,996
Oh, I may act goofy on TV
but I'm still a doctor.
190
00:09:26,005 --> 00:09:28,005
Extreme personalities
intrigue me.
191
00:09:28,013 --> 00:09:30,023
'And an extreme personality
like yours'
192
00:09:30,019 --> 00:09:33,009
might be the ticket
to getting back my old show
193
00:09:33,010 --> 00:09:36,000
and maybe finally some respect.
194
00:09:37,001 --> 00:09:38,001
Ohh.
195
00:09:38,006 --> 00:09:39,016
So you're stringing
old Mr. J along
196
00:09:39,019 --> 00:09:41,009
just to write
some tell-all book?
197
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:44,023
I'll split the profits
with you 50-50.
198
00:09:46,011 --> 00:09:47,021
Ahh-ha, ha, ha!
199
00:09:47,022 --> 00:09:50,002
You've got moxie.
200
00:09:50,002 --> 00:09:53,002
I feed moxie to the hyenas.
201
00:09:53,004 --> 00:09:54,024
[whistles]
202
00:09:54,017 --> 00:09:55,997
[chattering]
203
00:09:56,002 --> 00:09:58,022
[growling]
204
00:10:01,021 --> 00:10:04,001
[gasp]
205
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,013
Sit!
206
00:10:05,016 --> 00:10:06,016
[whimpering]
207
00:10:09,010 --> 00:10:11,000
You're good.
208
00:10:11,004 --> 00:10:14,004
Now, what do you say
we sit down and, you know
209
00:10:14,003 --> 00:10:17,003
have a heart-to-heart
with Harley.
210
00:10:18,011 --> 00:10:19,011
Hmm.
211
00:10:21,016 --> 00:10:23,016
Oh, where do I begin?
212
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,020
I guess for as long
as I remember
213
00:10:28,019 --> 00:10:31,999
I always wanted
to make people laugh.
214
00:10:32,002 --> 00:10:33,022
I see.
215
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,015
The neighbors say
they saw the doctor
216
00:10:40,017 --> 00:10:42,017
leave freely with Mr. J.
217
00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:44,021
Wonder what he could want
with her.
218
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:47,008
He saw a vulnerable person
he could manipulate.
219
00:10:47,007 --> 00:10:49,017
Someone good for a few laughs,
until he got bored.
220
00:10:49,019 --> 00:10:50,999
And join us again next week
221
00:10:51,006 --> 00:10:53,016
when Batman analyzes
the Freudian implications
222
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,009
of Penguin's umbrella.
223
00:10:57,019 --> 00:11:01,009
[sniffles]
It's bad enough
the Network said
224
00:11:01,007 --> 00:11:03,997
I wasn't a real psychologist.
225
00:11:04,005 --> 00:11:06,015
They said I was a joke.
226
00:11:06,023 --> 00:11:09,013
I happen to like jokes.
227
00:11:12,015 --> 00:11:14,015
Besides, there are worse names.
228
00:11:14,017 --> 00:11:16,997
I know. I've been called them.
229
00:11:17,004 --> 00:11:20,014
Guess we have
a few things in common, huh?
230
00:11:24,012 --> 00:11:27,012
You know what two sad sacks
like us need?
231
00:11:27,012 --> 00:11:29,012
A night on the town!
232
00:11:29,016 --> 00:11:32,996
I don't know. That seems awfully
unprofessional.
233
00:11:33,002 --> 00:11:35,022
Consider it research
for your book.
234
00:11:35,017 --> 00:11:36,017
But what if--
235
00:11:36,017 --> 00:11:37,017
You're seen associating with
236
00:11:37,019 --> 00:11:39,019
a certified criminal whack-job?
237
00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:43,000
A costume!
238
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:45,013
That way,
no one will know it's you.
239
00:11:47,011 --> 00:11:48,021
Ha, ha!
240
00:11:57,009 --> 00:11:58,009
bling
241
00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:04,011
(Joker)
'Harleen Quinzel becomes'
242
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:06,005
'Harley Quinn!'
243
00:12:10,012 --> 00:12:11,022
bling
244
00:12:12,013 --> 00:12:14,013
[whistles]
245
00:12:14,015 --> 00:12:15,015
[pants]
246
00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:18,010
[dramatic music]
247
00:12:20,021 --> 00:12:23,001
♪ Comb your hair
and paint and powder ♪
248
00:12:23,004 --> 00:12:25,014
♪ You act proud
and I'll act prouder ♪
249
00:12:25,007 --> 00:12:27,007
♪ You sing loud
and I'll sing louder ♪
250
00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:29,020
♪ Tonight we're setting
the woods on fire ♪
251
00:12:29,017 --> 00:12:31,017
♪ You're my gal
and I'm your feller ♪
252
00:12:31,022 --> 00:12:34,002
♪ Dressed up in
your frock of yeller ♪
253
00:12:34,002 --> 00:12:36,012
♪ I look swell
but you look sweller ♪
254
00:12:36,009 --> 00:12:37,999
♪ Settin' the woods on fire ♪
255
00:12:38,005 --> 00:12:40,005
♪ We'll take in
all the honky-tonks ♪
256
00:12:40,013 --> 00:12:42,013
♪ Tonight we're havin' fun ♪
257
00:12:42,016 --> 00:12:44,016
♪ We'll show the folks
a brand-new dance ♪
258
00:12:44,022 --> 00:12:47,002
♪ That never has been done ha ♪
259
00:12:47,005 --> 00:12:49,005
♪ I don't care
who thinks we're silly ♪
260
00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:51,010
♪ You be Daffy
and I'll be Dilly ♪
261
00:12:51,012 --> 00:12:53,022
♪ We'll order up
two bowls of jelly ♪
262
00:12:53,021 --> 00:12:56,011
♪ Settin' the woods on fire ♪
263
00:12:56,012 --> 00:12:59,002
♪ La-la la la
la la la la la la ♪
264
00:12:59,006 --> 00:13:05,006
♪ La la la la la la la ♪
265
00:13:05,013 --> 00:13:08,003
♪ La la la la la la la la ♪
266
00:13:08,003 --> 00:13:09,023
Ha, ha, ha!
267
00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:10,021
♪ La la la la ♪
268
00:13:11,001 --> 00:13:14,011
♪ La la la la la la la ha ♪
269
00:13:14,016 --> 00:13:16,016
♪ I don't care
who thinks we're silly ♪
270
00:13:16,018 --> 00:13:18,018
♪ You be Daffy
and I'll be Dilly ♪
271
00:13:18,019 --> 00:13:20,019
♪ We'll order up
two bowls of jelly ♪
272
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,000
♪ Settin' the woods on fire ♪
273
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:24,013
[laughing]
274
00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:27,000
No riders!
275
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:30,006
[tires screeching]
276
00:13:30,008 --> 00:13:31,008
Ooh!
277
00:13:32,023 --> 00:13:34,023
Ha, ha, ha!
278
00:13:35,012 --> 00:13:38,002
Aaa-h-h-h!
279
00:13:38,005 --> 00:13:39,005
[Batclaw fires]
280
00:13:43,016 --> 00:13:46,006
- Ha, ha, ha!
- Aah-h-h!
281
00:13:47,015 --> 00:13:48,995
Huh? What was that?
282
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:51,012
Hi, folks. Don't mind us.
283
00:13:51,007 --> 00:13:52,997
Aah!
284
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,016
Some fun, eh, kid?
285
00:13:54,021 --> 00:13:57,021
Has anyone ever survived
a night out with you?
286
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,010
There's a first time
for everything.
287
00:14:02,013 --> 00:14:04,013
Leave him alone!
288
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,010
Uhh. Aah!
289
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,000
Unh!
290
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,016
(Batman)
'Dr. Quinzel?'
291
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:16,008
Call me Harley Quinn.
292
00:14:16,012 --> 00:14:17,012
What are you doing?
293
00:14:17,016 --> 00:14:19,006
- 'Joker's a psychopath.'
- Huh?
294
00:14:19,008 --> 00:14:22,018
Better than what you are.
A third wheel.
295
00:14:23,012 --> 00:14:25,012
Huh.
296
00:14:25,007 --> 00:14:28,007
Hold this for me,
will you? Thanks.
297
00:14:28,009 --> 00:14:29,019
- Aah!
- Aah-ahh!
298
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,020
Here's our floor!
299
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,010
Hu-ahh!
300
00:14:35,002 --> 00:14:36,022
Aa-h-h!
301
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,010
Fear not.
Salvation is at hand.
302
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:43,009
Aa-h-h-h!
303
00:14:43,011 --> 00:14:45,021
(Joker)
A little trick
I borrowed from Penguin.
304
00:14:45,017 --> 00:14:47,017
Remind me to send him a fish.
305
00:14:50,011 --> 00:14:51,021
[explosion]
306
00:14:51,019 --> 00:14:53,019
Ahh-ha ha ha ha!
307
00:14:56,001 --> 00:14:58,001
[breathing heavily]
308
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,010
Authorities are at a loss
to explain
309
00:15:07,013 --> 00:15:10,003
how the diamond was stolen
from the high-security vault
310
00:15:10,005 --> 00:15:12,005
and a police investigation
is underway.
311
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:14,022
'In other news, there is still
no official word'
312
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:18,021
'on the bizarre transformation
of Dr. Harleen Quinzel.'
313
00:15:18,022 --> 00:15:20,002
Huh?
314
00:15:20,004 --> 00:15:21,014
According to eyewitness
accounts
315
00:15:21,013 --> 00:15:23,023
the doctor has been sporting
a new look
316
00:15:23,021 --> 00:15:26,021
while keeping time
with Gotham's most wanted wacko.
317
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,000
Noted TV psychologist
Elliott Blaine
318
00:15:29,004 --> 00:15:30,024
offered this observation.
319
00:15:30,018 --> 00:15:34,018
It's no surprise that
Dr. Quinzel jumped the track.
320
00:15:34,021 --> 00:15:36,021
She was a sad, needy person
321
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:39,008
who tried to fill the void
in her own soul
322
00:15:39,010 --> 00:15:43,020
by dispensing superficial
relationship advice to others.
323
00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:45,001
What?
324
00:15:45,002 --> 00:15:46,012
I'll have a full profile
325
00:15:46,014 --> 00:15:50,024
of Dr. Quinzel tonight
on my prime-time special.
326
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:52,007
Ar-r-r-h-h-h!
327
00:15:55,007 --> 00:15:57,007
Unh! You big phony!
328
00:15:57,014 --> 00:16:01,014
That was supposed to be
my Valentine's special!
329
00:16:01,010 --> 00:16:02,020
Unh!
330
00:16:02,019 --> 00:16:04,019
Happy Valentine's Day, kid.
331
00:16:04,023 --> 00:16:06,023
I brought you something.
332
00:16:06,023 --> 00:16:08,013
What?
333
00:16:12,007 --> 00:16:13,017
bling
334
00:16:15,001 --> 00:16:16,011
Pretty.
335
00:16:16,011 --> 00:16:18,021
Aww, I wanted
to give you a present
336
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,018
for all the fun
we've been having.
337
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,000
What is it that you want?
338
00:16:23,019 --> 00:16:25,019
Unh! That's what I want?
339
00:16:25,022 --> 00:16:27,022
To get even
with those jerks.
340
00:16:27,023 --> 00:16:31,013
I was trying to help people,
and now I'm the bad guy?
341
00:16:31,016 --> 00:16:34,006
More of an accomplice, actually.
342
00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:36,000
Unh!
343
00:16:37,019 --> 00:16:39,019
They should all suffer.
344
00:16:42,005 --> 00:16:43,015
Sounds like a hoot!
345
00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:48,013
What we have
with Harleen Quinzel
346
00:16:48,012 --> 00:16:50,012
is a textbook case of a woman
347
00:16:50,013 --> 00:16:53,013
deluded by a fantasy image
of herself
348
00:16:53,014 --> 00:16:55,014
as a healer and caregiver.
349
00:16:55,008 --> 00:16:59,008
(Harley)
'Hey, doc! I've got
a text-bookcase for ya!'
350
00:17:00,003 --> 00:17:01,013
Uhh!
351
00:17:01,015 --> 00:17:02,015
[grunts]
352
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:04,020
[audience screaming]
353
00:17:07,004 --> 00:17:08,024
Hi-hi, Gotham!
354
00:17:09,001 --> 00:17:13,011
Harley's back,
for a special farewell show.
355
00:17:18,009 --> 00:17:19,009
Unh!
356
00:17:19,010 --> 00:17:21,010
[screaming]
357
00:17:21,011 --> 00:17:22,011
[explosion]
358
00:17:24,017 --> 00:17:26,007
[growling]
359
00:17:26,014 --> 00:17:27,024
[gasping]
360
00:17:29,023 --> 00:17:31,013
(Joker)
'Yoo-hoo.'
361
00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:34,017
Keep your seats, people.
362
00:17:34,018 --> 00:17:37,018
The little lady's
just warming up.
363
00:17:38,001 --> 00:17:41,001
Aww, that's right, puddin'.
364
00:17:41,006 --> 00:17:43,016
I'm going to set
the record straight
365
00:17:43,022 --> 00:17:48,022
then finish my broadcasting
career with a big bang.
366
00:17:50,006 --> 00:17:51,006
- Let's go.
- What?
367
00:17:51,012 --> 00:17:53,012
We can't wait
for the commercial?
368
00:17:53,009 --> 00:17:55,009
[bats squealing]
369
00:17:57,013 --> 00:18:00,023
So, you didn't like my show?
370
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:04,024
Well, try this one.
371
00:18:04,019 --> 00:18:05,999
[whistles]
372
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,002
[growling]
373
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:11,014
"When Animals Attack
People I Hate."
374
00:18:11,016 --> 00:18:13,006
It's a comedy.
375
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,010
[chattering]
376
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,002
Huh! Hah!
377
00:18:19,019 --> 00:18:21,999
You're cancelled. Again.
378
00:18:23,010 --> 00:18:25,000
Ar-r-r-r.
379
00:18:28,016 --> 00:18:29,996
[acid sizzling]
380
00:18:32,014 --> 00:18:33,024
Huh!
381
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,020
Aww, thanks, sweetie.
382
00:18:38,019 --> 00:18:42,009
Now drag her outside
and Joker gas her or something.
383
00:18:42,010 --> 00:18:45,000
You ordering me around?
384
00:18:45,005 --> 00:18:46,015
Don't go too far.
385
00:18:46,017 --> 00:18:50,007
I've indulged you
only because it amused me.
386
00:18:50,007 --> 00:18:51,017
Yes, sir.
387
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:55,007
Hee, hee, hee.
You little imp.
388
00:18:55,015 --> 00:18:57,005
I could never stay mad at you.
389
00:18:59,002 --> 00:19:00,012
[giggling]
390
00:19:02,022 --> 00:19:04,002
Uh-oh.
391
00:19:05,004 --> 00:19:06,014
- Ugh!
- Aah!
392
00:19:06,010 --> 00:19:08,010
Uhh, uhh. Ah!
393
00:19:10,015 --> 00:19:11,015
- Uhh.
- Uhh.
394
00:19:11,020 --> 00:19:13,010
Rr-r-r-r!
395
00:19:13,008 --> 00:19:15,008
- Uhh.
- Don't move.
396
00:19:15,015 --> 00:19:16,015
Very funny.
397
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:19,010
Unh! Aah!
398
00:19:19,011 --> 00:19:23,001
You bats won't pull the plug
on my special.
399
00:19:23,002 --> 00:19:24,012
[explosion]
400
00:19:24,015 --> 00:19:25,015
[screaming]
401
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,022
What have you done?
402
00:19:30,020 --> 00:19:32,020
They sent me down in flames.
403
00:19:33,001 --> 00:19:35,011
So I'm returning the favor.
404
00:19:35,015 --> 00:19:38,015
Ehh-ha, ha, ha!
405
00:19:38,021 --> 00:19:40,011
There are three more bombs
406
00:19:40,016 --> 00:19:42,006
planted around this building.
407
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:45,005
Once they go,
all Gotham broadcasting
408
00:19:45,008 --> 00:19:46,018
comes tumblin' down!
409
00:19:46,023 --> 00:19:48,023
Show the man, Harley!
410
00:19:51,009 --> 00:19:52,009
Ahh!
411
00:19:52,011 --> 00:19:53,021
Not gonna happen.
412
00:19:54,009 --> 00:19:55,009
Uh-unh.
413
00:19:57,005 --> 00:19:58,015
Unh.
414
00:19:59,014 --> 00:20:00,024
Ya-a-h-h!
415
00:20:01,018 --> 00:20:04,008
[explosions]
416
00:20:04,008 --> 00:20:06,008
I'm okay. Help the audience.
417
00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:07,010
Unh!
418
00:20:07,010 --> 00:20:08,010
[screaming]
419
00:20:14,020 --> 00:20:15,020
Unh.
420
00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:16,021
[explosion]
421
00:20:18,005 --> 00:20:19,015
This way, people.
422
00:20:24,001 --> 00:20:25,021
Time to make tracks, boys.
423
00:20:25,019 --> 00:20:26,019
[whistling]
424
00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:28,000
[hyena chattering]
425
00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:34,013
So long, little Harley Quinn.
426
00:20:34,012 --> 00:20:35,022
It's been fun!
427
00:20:35,017 --> 00:20:36,017
[metal creaking]
428
00:20:39,021 --> 00:20:41,011
[giggling]
429
00:20:42,017 --> 00:20:43,997
[clattering]
430
00:20:54,015 --> 00:20:56,005
[sirens wailing]
431
00:20:58,020 --> 00:21:01,020
The Joker doesn't care
about anyone but himself.
432
00:21:01,019 --> 00:21:03,999
He never has,
and he never will.
433
00:21:04,004 --> 00:21:07,014
You'd think a psychologist
would know better.
434
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:23,000
Huh?
435
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:30,009
[squeals]
Ha, ha, ha!
436
00:21:33,023 --> 00:21:36,013
[giggling continues]
437
00:21:36,008 --> 00:21:39,008
[laughter]
438
00:21:44,022 --> 00:21:47,022
[theme music]
26779
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
