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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
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Camera shutter clicks
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shutter clicks
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00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:24,600
shutter clicks
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00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,560
shutter clicks
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Shutter clicks
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shutter clicks
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00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,080
Shutter clicks
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00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,000
shutter clicks
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00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,240
shutter clicks
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00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:08,920
shutter clicks
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00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:14,440
shutter clicks
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00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,440
shutter clicks
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00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,600
shutter clicks
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shutter clicks
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What is it? What
does it mean? What?
18
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,719
Diy. Do it yourself.
19
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,039
I know, but it's not plumbing,
20
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,079
not messing about with
black & Decker drills.
21
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,080
It might be. Tell me.
22
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,319
Do it yourself. I know.
23
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,759
Well, that's what it is. What?
24
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,399
Do it yourself.
25
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:57,960
No, still don't get it.
26
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,679
She squeals
27
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,959
ho, ho, ho. Oh, I
see, do it yourself!
28
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,119
That's filthy, really filthy.
How do you know that?
29
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,240
I didn't know. How do
you know these things?
30
00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:15,719
And o-levels. What
are o-levels? Ssh.
31
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,919
Why? Why shush? Don't tell
me to shush. O-levels are exams.
32
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:22,079
What my David's doing at his
private school. He's doing his o-levels.
33
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:23,399
Here you are.
34
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,119
Do you enjoy it, June? What?
35
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,999
Sex. When I get
it. What about you?
36
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,639
Wet knickers and missed periods.
37
00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:31,039
First time I had it,
38
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,360
I thought I'd been knocked
down by a brewer's dray.
39
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,079
Eh! Rose!
40
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:42,999
You bugger!
41
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,960
You owe me rent.
42
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,840
Bloody tart!
43
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,040
Can you cover for me? I've
got to go out. What, now?
44
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,719
Bcsd. Bcsd.
45
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,439
Christine, bcsd.
46
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,040
Oh, Christmas!
47
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,919
Oh, thanks, babe.
48
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:30,199
What about tonight?
What about the weekend?
49
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,199
The Dorchester.
David's sports day.
50
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,919
Dinner and dance. Very nice.
51
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,599
And put your best frock on.
52
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,560
Bcsd. Bcsd.
53
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,960
Telephone rings
54
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,519
hello.
55
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,399
Oh, yes, that's right.
56
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,919
Yes. Yes, ginette is 22.
57
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:03,119
She has a full but
firm 36-24-36 figure
58
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,519
and offers a full
personal service.
59
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,519
You will like her.
60
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,119
Ginette has devastating
revealing photos,
61
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:14,599
caters for party lovers, and
offers a full theatrical wardrobe.
62
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,399
French maid, nurse,
gymslip, that kind of thing.
63
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,519
Mild cp and other games.
64
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,919
Executive fun for the over 40s.
65
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,919
Kinky but not cruel.
66
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,319
Why not pop round?
67
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,440
Good. Bye-bye.
68
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,440
Excuse me. Thank you. Sorry.
69
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,439
Door buzzer
70
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,239
forgot my keys.
71
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,599
See you later. Make
yourself at home. Ha ha!
72
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:50,919
Oops, excuse me.
73
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,439
Good afternoon. Good afternoon.
74
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,239
You have an appointment with
the governess. Is that correct?
75
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,079
No, that is not correct.
76
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,840
I have an appointment
with the nanny.
77
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,519
Mr marples, for the nanny.
78
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,839
I thought mr marples
was for house of pain.
79
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,639
No, winkie-poos and bot-bots.
80
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,880
Oh, god! It's taken me
an hour to get into this lot.
81
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,240
Baby cries
82
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,639
Gotcha! Oh!
83
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,560
Where's my bloody rent?
84
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,560
I want my...
85
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,240
They grunt
86
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,239
man: Miss painter?
87
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,919
Rent. You owe me rent.
It's the rent man. I heard him.
88
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,839
Miss painter, I know
you're in there. Open up.
89
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,639
I want my rent. I want
my rent, do you hear me?
90
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:10,239
R-e-n-t spells rent. I
know you're in there.
91
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:11,480
Miss painter.
92
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:17,160
Rent by Friday or I send in the
heavy mob. See how you like it.
93
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:21,839
Rent.
94
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:25,479
Oh, gawd, I'm sorry, Christine.
I ain't done the business.
95
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,479
I've had the curse, and the flu.
96
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,679
Terrible flu, and
the curse as well.
97
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,479
Business is terrible.
98
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:32,759
I'm here all on my own.
99
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:36,079
There's the phone to answer,
the door, the client to service.
100
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,959
Then get a maid. I'd better go
before someone steals the baby.
101
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,679
What are you doing
with that? My one's broke.
102
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,519
I'll get you one. What?
103
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,119
A maid. You?
104
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,160
First thing Monday morning.
Get your knickers into gear.
105
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,720
Buzzer
106
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,159
Yes? Oh, is... is Melanie here?
107
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,480
No, she's not.
108
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:25,320
Yes? Are you free at the moment?
109
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,159
Are you a married man? Yes.
110
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,279
What about your wife,
then? What's wrong with her?
111
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,959
Well, we've not
had sex for 23 years.
112
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:37,800
Are you available?
113
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,440
What do you think I am?
114
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,559
Mr popozogolou. Miss painter.
115
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:03,959
How convenient
to find you at home.
116
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,559
May I come in?
117
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,599
Yes, of course. Come in.
118
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,880
This way, please.
119
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,040
Come in, sit down,
make yourself at home.
120
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,560
I suppose you're here
for the rent. That is correct.
121
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:29,919
Miss painter, you are one
week behind with the rent.
122
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,519
One whole week. I
haven't got it, but I can get it.
123
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,319
I always pay my way. I
believe in paying my own way.
124
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,160
That is very correct.
125
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,320
Miss painter...
126
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,599
..You do not live here, do you?
127
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,999
I'd like to live here.
128
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,360
You are subletting,
yes? I suppose so.
129
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,199
To what kind of person
you are subletting?
130
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,119
Same as a lot of the other flats
in this block. You should know.
131
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,919
Prostitutes. Tarts.
132
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:03,999
I see.
133
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,919
You're doing all right here.
All these flats. What a racket.
134
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,840
Oh, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa.
135
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,719
Miss painter,
136
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,119
what are you going
to do about the rent?
137
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:27,319
I have a son at school, private
school. I have to pay the fees.
138
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,240
I'll give it to you next week.
139
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,760
Why wait until next week?
140
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,240
Give me a week.
141
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,599
Why wait until next week
when you can pay me now?
142
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,840
I can't pay you now.
143
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,240
The rent, miss painter.
144
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,360
It must be paid.
145
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,920
One way or another.
146
00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:58,960
Oh.
147
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,599
I had a sexual encounter
with my landlord today.
148
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,999
What brought that on? The rent.
149
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,599
Mr popozogolou.
150
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,599
That's his name.
151
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,519
Christine, get rid of 'em.
152
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,519
What? Those flats.
Get rid of 'em, all of 'em.
153
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,319
She's right, Christine. If
the cows paid the rent...
154
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,240
They won't pay the rent.
155
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,999
You're the only
ones that ever pay.
156
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,160
Look, bugger the girls.
You get rid of those flats.
157
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,040
Dolly, have a look at this.
158
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,719
Ain't that lovely?
159
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,399
I could live in that. Yeah.
160
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,319
Here. What's this for?
161
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,119
It's a bit extra. You've already
paid. You can't pay twice.
162
00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,719
We've been using your living
room as well as your bedroom.
163
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,199
We've been off our feet.
164
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:56,119
And I'm away for the next
two weeks. Is that next week?
165
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:58,719
It's the next two
weeks. I told you.
166
00:12:58,720 --> 00:12:59,999
I'm Saudi Arabia this weekend,
167
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,999
and then off down to
Ron's mum in Brighton.
168
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,719
Saudi Arabia?
169
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,639
For the weekend.
For the weekend?
170
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,159
She's got a sheik in Saudi
Arabia. 104 if he's a day.
171
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,999
Flies me out when he gets
Randy. Once every two years.
172
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,119
What about your sugar daddy?
173
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,359
The one with the big car.
174
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,759
He's got loads of
money. What's his name?
175
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:22,199
Sydney. Bcsd.
176
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,440
What's bcsd?
Big car, small dick.
177
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,199
It's true, Shirley.
I can't find it.
178
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,959
I spend all my time
rummaging inside his pyjamas
179
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,719
looking for his little Willy.
180
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,519
Too many things can go wrong
with sex. Too many bits and pieces.
181
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,719
He takes you to nice
places. There's no romance.
182
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,240
No dick. No dick.
183
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,919
Not like mr popozogolou.
184
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,199
He had a really funny
one, mr popozogolou.
185
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,159
Marry him. Keep you laughing.
186
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:54,199
It was like... it wasn't
long, but my god, it was...
187
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,999
What's that German
sausage called?
188
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,839
Salami. Liverwurst.
189
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,719
Liverwurst. It was like a lump
of liverwurst. It was like that.
190
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,599
He wanted me to put it in
his mouth. Can you imagine?
191
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:08,239
His mouth? My mouth. You know.
192
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:09,519
What did you do?
193
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,959
I went down and had
a look. And then what?
194
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,599
I came back up
again bloody quick.
195
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,719
I couldn't do it for
love, let alone money.
196
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:19,759
So what did you do? I did
him with my hand. This one.
197
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,919
A hand job? That's right.
198
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,279
A wank. A popozogolou.
199
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,840
A popozogolou!
200
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,519
It... it went...
201
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,640
It went... brrrp!
202
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,719
Just like that.
203
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:44,040
Really high. I mean,
even he was surprised.
204
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,559
I'll pay. I need a wee.
205
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,919
He's a nice man, mr
popozogolou. I felt sorry for him.
206
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,879
What are you doing the
next couple of weeks?
207
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,199
I thought I might knit a cardie.
208
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,799
You know Rose? Scrag-end Rose?
209
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,319
Could you maid for her until
she finds somebody else?
210
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:00,599
No. Why not?
211
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,560
She's a scrubber. I wouldn't
maid for no scrubber.
212
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,999
Oh, here's Ron.
213
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,319
Hello, Ron. All right, doll?
214
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,199
Come on, we'd better
go, love. See you.
215
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:18,719
'She's a young model of 21,
a petite figure, but very sexy.
216
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,719
'You will like her.
217
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:24,199
'That is correct. Yes. She
offers a full personal service.
218
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,439
'Sophisticated,
discreet, and clean.
219
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:30,439
'Five o'clock last caller.
Why not pop round?
220
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:35,399
We are 33, that's
3-3, pierpoint street.
221
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,240
That's right, as in Albert.
222
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,760
Hope to see you, then.
223
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,159
God, I'm freezing!
224
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:44,639
What man in his right mind
225
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,399
wants to get his cock
out in this weather?
226
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,399
Hi.
227
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,319
What are you doing
here? We've got one.
228
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,319
What? Client. I'm your new maid.
229
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,719
You? A prostitute's
maid? Why not?
230
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,599
Get a move on. You've got a
client. Bugger him. I need a coffee.
231
00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,199
Listen to me. I've chucked
in my job at the cafe for this.
232
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,199
So get in here, get on
your back, and get busy.
233
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,640
Well, who is it? I don't
want no time wasters.
234
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,519
Oh, it's you.
235
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:10,799
All right. I'll do him first.
236
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,560
Come on.
237
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,360
Thanks.
238
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,240
Bloody hell!
239
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:57,919
That was quick.
240
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,560
See the man to the
door, then. Yes, of course.
241
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:11,799
Thank you. Goodbye. Oh, thank
you. Did you change your mind?
242
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:12,919
Pardon?
243
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,119
Did you change your mind?
244
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,760
No.
245
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,559
Oh, come again, then.
246
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,119
Nice to see you. Thank you.
247
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,560
Bye. Bye.
248
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,519
That was quick.
"That was quick".
249
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:32,999
Piss off and make some coffee.
250
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,199
You look like Dracula's
daughter. "That was quick".
251
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,199
It was quick. It was in and
out, just like that. In, out.
252
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,559
You do, you look just
like Dracula's daughter
253
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,119
in that outfit, you really do.
254
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,079
Oh, leave me alone.
Just piss off, will you?
255
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,599
Piss off! Piss off yourself.
256
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,680
This is my flat. Speak to me
like that! You can piss off yourself.
257
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:56,719
Right. I will.
258
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,399
I've got better things to do.
259
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,119
I'm not freezing my
tits off in this dump.
260
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:04,719
You can stick it up your
gonger. Eight weeks' rent.
261
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,199
No, no, you said piss
off, and piss off I shall.
262
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,519
Eight weeks' rent.
263
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,719
Here. You reckon
you're so bloody juicy.
264
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,799
Get on your back
and earn it yourself.
265
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,360
Cow!
266
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,360
Hello? No, she's not here.
267
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:33,240
No. No, she's gone
to a health farm.
268
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,440
Oh, yes, we are.
269
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,240
If you ring tomorrow,
there'll be a new girl on.
270
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,160
Sentimental music on radio
271
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,440
Dracula's daughter.
272
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:32,239
Can I come in, babe?
273
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,160
Gawd, Sydney, do I need it?
274
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,439
What do you want, Sydney?
It's the middle of the night.
275
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:41,679
What do you want?
276
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,799
Oh, babe. I've been thinking,
babe. I'm not a babe, Sydney.
277
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,119
I'm not your babe or
anybody else's baby, all right?
278
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:52,279
I know you're not,
babe. What do you want?
279
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,319
I've come to ask
you to marry me.
280
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,199
Oh, dear.
281
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,960
No, I know it's not a very
good idea. I know it's not.
282
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,680
But if you think
about it, it is.
283
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,799
You need somebody,
284
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,519
somebody to look after you.
285
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,199
I've got loads of money.
286
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,399
You know, loads.
287
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,240
And no-one to share it with.
288
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,160
I could look after you.
289
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,399
Say yes, and I'll open
a bottle right now.
290
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:29,919
Pop, just like that.
291
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,840
Bottle of bubbly.
292
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:41,040
I bought you some flowers.
293
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,160
Think about it, babe.
294
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,040
When you wake in the
morning and see these flowers...
295
00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:06,640
..Think about it.
296
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,440
There's a bottle of
bubbly waiting. There.
297
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,919
One on the way,
dear. One on the way!
298
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,199
Ha, ha! I hope not. Dolly, I can't
stop piddling. Where's the gin?
299
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,119
You don't have to do it.
What's sex ever done for me?
300
00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:09,919
Up the duff at 16.
That's no reason.
301
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,519
If you don't want
to do it, don't.
302
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:12,599
Knock at door gah!
303
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,399
Pull yourself together,
do. Go on, get in there.
304
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:16,840
Go on.
305
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:19,919
Dolly, I need another widdle.
306
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,600
How much do I charge?
Leave that to me. Go on!
307
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,039
Ready, dear?
308
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:36,519
Oh!
309
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,519
I'm ready.
310
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,440
You don't look it. I'm ready.
311
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,199
Ooh! Ooh!
312
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,599
Oh, it's you.
313
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,399
Fancy meeting you here.
314
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,999
We know each other.
Come in, come in.
315
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,399
Thank you.
316
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,840
It's all right, Dolly. Shut your
mouth. Go on. It's all right.
317
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,919
Well, fancy meeting you here.
318
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,440
Caught up with you at last, eh?
319
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,239
Would you like a cup of tea?
320
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,119
Pardon? Would
you like a cup of tea?
321
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:19,119
Have two. No extra charge.
I've only got a short time.
322
00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,440
Oh. Business.
323
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,599
What line of
business are you in?
324
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,799
Double glazing. Double
glazing? Well, I never.
325
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,360
Yes.
326
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:41,599
What a lot of job
satisfaction there must be...
327
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,039
In... double glazing.
328
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:49,519
Bringing all that extra
warmth into people's lives.
329
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,039
You've not had sex
for 23 years, have you?
330
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,079
Pardon?
331
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,279
You told me. No, with my wife.
332
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:59,119
I've not had sex with
my wife for 23 years.
333
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:00,439
Oh.
334
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,639
She's an invalid.
335
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:06,440
I'm sorry. 23 years. That
must get very frustrating for you.
336
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,599
Your maid said you
give excellent French?
337
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,400
Oh, yes, very good. Every time.
338
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,199
Just exactly how do
you like your French?
339
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,599
Well, I'd like you to wear
bright red lipstick, if you can.
340
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,279
Really? I'm willing
to pay extra for that.
341
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,479
Right. Ah, oh, no.
342
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,440
Er, just a minute.
343
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,199
Dolly. Dolly, we've
got no doodahs.
344
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,839
No, you know, contraventives.
345
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,679
Contraventives? Yes, you know...
346
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,079
Doodahs. Oh, French letters.
347
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,960
That's it. Plonkers. We've
got no plonkers, Dolly.
348
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,159
I look a right
bloody tart in this.
349
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,440
Here you are. Get a move on.
350
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,879
These are black. Dolly,
these are black. I know.
351
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,479
They're for black men.
352
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:08,399
No, chinamen use them
all the time. Do they?
353
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:09,879
Bloody Ada!
354
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:13,879
He's a lovely man. Brings happiness
to millions with double glazing.
355
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,959
He's not had sex for 23 years.
356
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,559
Telephone rings
357
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:21,640
right.
358
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,840
Do you think this
looks nice? Oh, yes.
359
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:31,280
I prefer it in a chair,
if you don't mind.
360
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,799
In a chair?
361
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,240
Yes.
362
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,440
I've never done it in a chair.
363
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,799
Now, where would you
like me, exactly? Well...
364
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,600
With me myself sitting,
and you kneeling.
365
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:06,759
You want me to sit?
366
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:07,799
No, I'm sitting.
367
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,720
Where am I? Kneeling.
368
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:15,279
Kneeling? Yes, I'm
sitting and you're kneeling.
369
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:16,680
On the floor.
370
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,320
On the floor? I find
that's the best way.
371
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,599
I see. You'll have to wear
one of these. What, for French?
372
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,199
Do you think I want
to get pregnant?
373
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,679
How can you get
pregnant? Very easily indeed.
374
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,920
That's not what I want. I should
think not. What do you want?
375
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,039
A blow job.
376
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,279
Please.
377
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,679
Deep throat.
378
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,280
If possible.
379
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:47,720
Oh.
380
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,040
That's why I
wanted the lipstick.
381
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,120
Well, you'll still have
to wear one of these.
382
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:00,800
Very well.
383
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,040
Do you see what I'm wearing?
384
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,640
You like that, don't you?
385
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:23,319
Yes, I do. Do you like my legs?
386
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:24,879
Yes.
387
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,920
Do you? Yes, I do.
388
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,920
Come here. Come a bit closer.
389
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:40,360
Now, I want you to
kneel, there's a good boy...
390
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:47,440
..But not to touch
my lovely legs.
391
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,879
They're lovely. Yes.
392
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:53,799
Very smooth.
393
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,879
Just here, above
the stocking. Yes.
394
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,319
Very smooth.
395
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:02,399
There, look. Get closer.
396
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,520
But not to touch.
397
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:12,120
Now, I'm going to give
you something very special.
398
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,920
Very special indeed.
399
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:22,479
It's called a popozogolou.
400
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:25,479
Thank you, dear. Thank you.
401
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,440
Oh.
402
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,399
She's nice.
403
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,440
She's very nice indeed. Good.
404
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,079
One here, another on the
way, dear. Bloody Ada! Hang on.
405
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,599
Stinks like a bleeding
brothel in here. You all right?
406
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,479
Like a concert pianist. We're
going to need lots of tissues.
407
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:53,879
She's not quite ready, dear.
408
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,399
I'm ready. Come in.
Sit down. Lie down.
409
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,520
Make yourself comfortable.
Thank you, Dolly.
410
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,839
You're busy. Never
a dull moment.
411
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,239
What's on offer? Well...
412
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:07,799
I have been doing French,
413
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:11,119
but there's a special on
today - a popozogolou.
414
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,479
Very tasty. I'm sure you
won't be disappointed.
415
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:15,879
How much?
416
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:19,040
Oh, Dolly deals with that.
Dolly deals with the lolly!
417
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,439
Who's Dolly?
418
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,079
Her outside. She's my maid.
419
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,079
Your maid? I see. And
she deals with the money?
420
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,560
That's right.
421
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,840
Get back to you on this
one, all right? Oh, yes.
422
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:41,599
Everything all right, dear?
423
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:45,039
I discuss the price with
you, right? If you want, yes.
424
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:46,279
Good.
425
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,360
See you later.
426
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,279
Funny man. Gangster.
427
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,160
Sexy bugger.
428
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:09,799
Da-da! Shirley!
429
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:11,879
Christine. Dolly,
look who's here.
430
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,519
I can see. Dolly.
431
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,639
Another couple of weeks,
Dolly, we'll have one.
432
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:18,079
Listen to her. What's she doing?
433
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,919
French polishing. Put yourself
in the hands of an expert.
434
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,919
Her doing French? I don't
even know what it means.
435
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,399
I don't. I just copied
it off another notice.
436
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,840
Christine, French polishing!
437
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,599
What? Is that what it is? French
polishing? Oh, bloody Ada!
438
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:34,799
I'd better change that notice
quick. Er, excuse me, ladies.
439
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,079
Morton, ex-wing
commander, retired.
440
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:39,919
Oh, yes. You rang.
That is correct.
441
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:43,199
I have a dilapidated
piece of mahogany veneer
442
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,279
in dire need of renovation.
443
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,279
Can you help?
What? Yes, come on.
444
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,279
Soon Polish it up for
you. Oh, jolly good.
445
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,240
Step this way. Have it
looking like new in no time.
446
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,279
Wing commander!
Don't believe a word of it.
447
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,879
207 missions over
occupied territory,
448
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:02,679
madam, in bra and panties.
449
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:04,199
Shut up! Yes, madam.
450
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,199
Filthy mind. Yes, madam.
451
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,599
Quite a shine on that. Indeed.
452
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,079
It's coming along
nicely, auntie Christine.
453
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,399
Would you like a go? Oh, no,
no. You're doing very nicely.
454
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,639
Why not do it together?
455
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:20,119
You dirty old sod. Yes, madam,
I'm certainly that, madam.
456
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,359
Oh! Police, love.
457
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:23,920
You're nicked.
458
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,840
Pass me a tissue, wing
commander, there's a dear.
459
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,679
They've dropped the brothel
and immoral earnings charges.
460
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,799
Insufficient evidence.
That lets you off, Dolly.
461
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:55,079
That only leaves the
charge for soliciting.
462
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,279
You'll be in and
out in two minutes.
463
00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,479
How? How was I soliciting?
A doddle. Just plead guilty.
464
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:03,319
I was on the pavement,
looking at your arab's car.
465
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,399
I was not soliciting.
Par for the course, dear.
466
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,199
Look at all these men.
467
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,959
I know all their secrets. That's
why they want to lock us up.
468
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:13,079
Don't get deep, Dolly. Will it be
in the Harlow new town gazette?
469
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,679
I can see my dad's face.
My sister's wedding, Saturday.
470
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,920
He's a nasty little shit.
Needs a good whipping!
471
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:24,479
What are you looking
at? You looking at my tits?
472
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,799
He's looking at my tits.
Arrest him for looking at my tits.
473
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,639
Too young to be a
policeman. Still a virgin.
474
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:32,399
Bet you could change all that.
475
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:36,360
Woman: Painter,
please. Painter. Painter!
476
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:41,879
Drive a car? Yeah.
477
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,359
Drive a big car, do you? Yeah.
478
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:45,879
Thought so.
479
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:49,880
We're on. Right. Guilty.
480
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,680
Guilty. All my fault.
481
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:56,879
What do you reckon?
482
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,000
She'll need a
holiday after this lot.
483
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,759
She's very good.
484
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:05,600
I never said she wasn't.
485
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:11,399
What news, ladies?
What are you doing here?
486
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:14,519
Interested party. Character
witness. Has she gone in yet?
487
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,079
Just put your bum
down there. Thank you.
488
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,720
Hello, shirl. Hello, love.
489
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,199
She's good, you
know. She's got talent.
490
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,879
That is correct.
How do you know?
491
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,279
I'm an expert in these matters.
492
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,759
We should go in
together, the three of us.
493
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,399
Take that big flat of hers,
the one with the pink bedroom.
494
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:41,799
Cater for kinks? Popozogolous
and gymslips. 50 quid a throw.
495
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:44,239
Strictly kinky people.
496
00:36:44,240 --> 00:36:46,040
The future lies in kinky people.
497
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:49,279
Guilty!
498
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,079
Ah, madam...
499
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,000
Guilty!
500
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,320
Come on.
501
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,840
Know his problem? I can read
him, no trouble. Can't get it up.
502
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:10,159
God knows why
I'm sitting in the front.
503
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,919
Royalty in the back,
dear. Pull over, Sydney.
504
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:14,239
Over there. What?
505
00:37:14,240 --> 00:37:17,480
"What?" you'll be saying balls
to the general next. Over there!
506
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,679
Come on, David. In.
507
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:26,399
Why do I have to wear
my school uniform?
508
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:29,680
You'll wear your uniform.
Put your cap on. In.
509
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,279
You're all crooked.
510
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:53,719
There we are. That's
better. Give us a smile.
511
00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:55,239
Pull up.
512
00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:57,359
Where? In front of the
church, for goodness' sake!
513
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,839
I can't park there.
Yes, you can. Pull up.
514
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,559
You need a chauffeur, that's
what you need. You keep quiet.
515
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,839
And a Butler. You and
your little Willy, keep quiet.
516
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,159
What? Balls to the
general. Shut up.
517
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:10,679
I haven't got a little Willy.
It's your most striking feature.
518
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:13,040
Fine conversation to be
having in front of your son.
519
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:26,119
Hello. Hello, auntie
winnie. Hello, darling.
520
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,239
Come on, get a bloody move on.
521
00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:29,639
Cap.
522
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:31,359
I can see your knickers, Dolly.
523
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:34,559
Horn honks
524
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,559
hello, dad.
525
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,559
Hello, Lizzie. We're here!
526
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,839
I thought it must be you. Hello.
527
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,799
Oh, you look lovely,
Lizzie, you really do.
528
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:46,959
I wish it was me. Mum
should be here, shouldn't she?
529
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:50,239
I wish mum was here to see you
now. I'm going to watch you get out.
530
00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:52,879
She looks lovely. She really
does. It's the veil that does it.
531
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,759
Look at my dad. That's my dad.
532
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:57,320
I need a leak, babe. Disgusting.
533
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,719
Gotcha!
534
00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:05,039
Give us a kiss, come on. Cheer
up. Don't cover me in lipstick.
535
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:08,919
Why don't you go into church?
I wish mum could see this.
536
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,999
You look so smart. Oh, don't
go on. She's been dead 19 years.
537
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,439
It's still a pity she missed it.
538
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,399
David, come and say
hello to your grandad.
539
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,919
This is your sister's
day. I wish it was me.
540
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:21,119
I don't want it spoilt for
her. Never mind, dad.
541
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,839
Three pairs of
knickers and that smile,
542
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:24,480
nothing will get
through to Lizzie.
543
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:26,720
Good luck.
544
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,519
Organ plays
545
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:34,040
put it on. We're in church.
546
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,000
Take it off, then. Take it off.
547
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,479
It's the old bill.
548
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:55,519
That's Edgar. My sister's
marrying a copper - silly cow.
549
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,200
Takes all sorts.
550
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:35,719
What are you doing
here? What do you mean?
551
00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:37,759
Aren't you Jewish? What?
552
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,039
Because if you are you're
not supposed to be in here.
553
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:41,279
It's a church.
554
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:44,400
I know it's a church.
And I'm not Jewish.
555
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,599
Before we begin, a
word about photographs.
556
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:52,079
As a Mark of respect
to Edgar and Elizabeth,
557
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:55,959
I would ask the congregation to
refrain from taking photographs
558
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:59,000
until the signing
of the register.
559
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,919
We have come together
in the presence of god...
560
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:10,959
To witness the marriage
of Edgar and Elizabeth.
561
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:16,800
To ask his blessing on
them and to share in their joy.
562
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:19,960
Bells toll
563
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:32,320
Cheering and applause
564
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:34,760
lovely.
565
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,679
Cheering
566
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:41,040
lovely. Lovely, Lizzie.
567
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:45,200
No confetti,
please. No confetti.
568
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,159
He's a widower, so watch
your step. Oh, really?
569
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,359
Never married. Well,
not since mum died.
570
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,999
Confirmed bachelor. 19 years.
571
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,680
What a waste. Thank you.
572
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:03,239
Your friend has
excellent taste, Christine.
573
00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:05,640
David's over there
somewhere, dad.
574
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:14,159
Congratulations. I like
your dress. Thank you.
575
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,759
Straight out of woman's realm.
And Edgar. Edgar, this is Dolores.
576
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:20,479
How do you do? Congratulations.
I hope you'll be very happy.
577
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:22,559
Thank you, Dolores.
Thank you very much.
578
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,279
You don't know my
mother? No, I don't.
579
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,439
This is my mum. Oh!
580
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,999
I didn't think
she'd still be alive.
581
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:33,639
Well I never. This is Edgar's
mother, Dolly. Hello, dear.
582
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:35,919
Come on, Dolly.
583
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:39,000
Let's circulate. Find
ourselves a husband.
584
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:45,239
Oh, god, that's better. Running
buffet? It's more like a stampede.
585
00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:47,839
She's a mean cow, my sister.
586
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:50,039
Tuppence says there's
marg in the bridge rolls.
587
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,639
Oh, god. She's
got it all organised.
588
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:56,039
And Edgar! Have you ever seen
anything more boring than Edgar?
589
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:59,039
What a fart, eh?
590
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:01,760
There's no loo
roll in here. Can...
591
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,479
Argh!
592
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:06,839
Dolly!
593
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:09,559
Dolly. Oh, Dolly, you've...
594
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:11,439
You... you've got
a Willy... Dolly!
595
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,599
You're a man,
Dolly. No, I'm not.
596
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:15,559
And there's no
paper in here either.
597
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,359
But you've got a
Willy. I know I have.
598
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,559
Let me have a look. Show
me. Let me have another look.
599
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,359
Oh, all right. It's nothing
to be proud of, you know.
600
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,400
There it is.
601
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:36,559
Argh!
602
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,919
She laughs
603
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:40,400
oh, dear.
604
00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:51,080
It's not a laughing matter.
605
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,359
How could you? What?
606
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,159
Don't play dumb with me, Christine.
You know exactly what I mean.
607
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:13,559
What's the matter, dad?
How could you do this to me?
608
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:17,599
How could you bring a sexual
pervert to your sister's wedding?
609
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:20,279
Who? Who? Who do you think?
610
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,439
Dolly's not a pervert,
are you, Dolly?
611
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:25,439
You think it's normal, a man
prancing round in a woman's skirt?
612
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:27,599
I didn't know she was
a man. I'm not a man.
613
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,599
Just leave, the pair of
you. I can handle this.
614
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:32,879
Oh, poor little Lizzie. I knew
you were going to cause trouble!
615
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,559
You're disgusting! I hope
I never see you again!
616
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:38,559
Oh, thank you very much,
Elizabeth. You've spoilt everything.
617
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,039
Don't upset yourself.
Ever since I was born!
618
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:42,759
Can you hear this? I hate you!
619
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:46,279
It's us that needs protecting...
From her mouth. That's enough.
620
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:48,919
Just stand clear when
she opens her gob.
621
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:51,319
Right. Just one
moment. Steady, Edgar.
622
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:53,799
I was against this from the
start. Now I know I was right.
623
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,799
This is my
brother-in-law. Christine.
624
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:57,039
If I was on duty and in uniform,
625
00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:58,919
I'd take a very serious
view of this matter.
626
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:00,279
But you are in uniform.
627
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,439
It's no use, Edgar, she's
always been like this.
628
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,119
Charges can be brought
for this kinda thing. Oh, dear.
629
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,519
Dolly, don't be a silly cow.
Stay here. Where are you going?
630
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:09,679
The toilet. I need a
wee. Oh, no, you're not.
631
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:12,639
Stay out of the ladies
lavatory... And the gents.
632
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:15,559
You piddle where you want.
Is there a handicapped toilet?
633
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:17,759
You stay out of all toilets.
634
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:19,359
Stupid fart!
635
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:21,839
This is a very
silly conversation.
636
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:25,359
And you are a very naughty boy.
637
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:29,559
And you know what happens
to naughty boys, now, don't you?
638
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,120
Come along, Dolly.
You too, Christine.
639
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:37,480
David!
640
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,439
What's all the rush, doll?
641
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:45,839
I was just beginning
to enjoy myself.
642
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:47,800
What's going on?
643
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:52,879
Excuse me, is this your car?
644
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:56,200
It's not bloody stole, if that's
what you mean. Cheeky bugger.
645
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:21,800
Dad.
646
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:27,120
Dad. Come here, dad.
647
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:31,040
I'm sorry, dad, I really am.
648
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:36,760
When I came here
today I was happy.
649
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,839
I really was.
650
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,560
Come on. Don't
be like this, dad.
651
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:45,480
Don't upset yourself.
652
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,360
It's your day today
too, you know.
653
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,880
I'd do anything to
make you happy.
654
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:55,560
I'm so sorry.
655
00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:59,119
Come on.
656
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:00,680
I'm sorry.
657
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:03,560
Kiss me a kiss and
say you love me.
658
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,719
You spoilt it for her.
How could you do it?
659
00:47:06,720 --> 00:47:09,439
She spoilt it for herself.
What do you mean?
660
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:10,959
Look who she married.
661
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:14,839
There you go again.
Oh, come on, dad.
662
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,319
He's a box of farts
and well you know it.
663
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,639
You can't say that. I just have.
664
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:21,639
It's a respectable marriage.
665
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:25,719
He's a... he's a police
superintendent and a freemason.
666
00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:29,239
He's a bumhole,
dad. A fart in a box.
667
00:47:29,240 --> 00:47:31,439
And he doesn't hang
around with sexual perverts.
668
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:34,639
How do you know? Listen to your
mouth. You should be ashamed.
669
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,039
Well, I'm not. That's
what's wrong with you.
670
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:38,519
Dad.
671
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:42,239
I'm not a bloody baby any more.
That's what's wrong with Lizzie.
672
00:47:42,240 --> 00:47:44,919
I'm a woman. I've had
babies and abortions.
673
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:46,839
Abortions? Yes.
674
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,519
Why didn't you tell me?
Abortions! Why didn't you tell me?
675
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:50,879
None of your bloody business.
676
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:53,119
I told you I was up the
duff, you spat in my face.
677
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:56,039
That was different. How many
bastards can one girl take?
678
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:58,239
How can you talk like
that? He's your son.
679
00:47:58,240 --> 00:48:00,839
And you're telling
me that, are you?
680
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:02,239
You've noticed, have you?
681
00:48:02,240 --> 00:48:04,839
You do surprise me. What's
that supposed to mean?
682
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:07,279
You know what I mean. You've
not so much as looked at him
683
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:08,359
since we got here.
684
00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:10,919
No. You've not looked
at him for 14 years.
685
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:13,519
No. You've not looked
at him, not spoke to him.
686
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:15,719
Not a hello, not so
much as a whisper.
687
00:48:15,720 --> 00:48:17,639
You make me feel like nothing.
688
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:20,919
What do you think I've been
doing all day? He's your grandson.
689
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:24,119
This is your sister's wedding.
He's your only grandson.
690
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:26,479
How many pups are that
pair are gonna spawn?
691
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,280
At least their
children'll have a father.
692
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:32,680
God, dad, you're such a liar.
693
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:36,119
Look at you.
694
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:38,080
You're such a bloody liar.
695
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,239
Mum would never
have treated me like this.
696
00:48:41,240 --> 00:48:45,719
The news would have killed her...
If she hadn't been dead already.
697
00:48:45,720 --> 00:48:47,960
She'd have slammed
the door in your face.
698
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:53,319
I'm a prostitute.
699
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:55,239
There.
700
00:48:55,240 --> 00:48:57,319
Spread that round
the freemasons.
701
00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:59,639
Your daughter is a tart.
702
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:01,639
On the game.
703
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:05,319
Spread that round the next lodge
meeting. I'd be glad of the custom.
704
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:09,039
My friend Shirley, my
best friend Shirley, is a tart.
705
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:10,719
And So am I.
706
00:49:10,720 --> 00:49:15,839
And Dolly, our best friend
Dolly, is a prostitute's maid.
707
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,439
Always someone
else's daughter, eh?
708
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:21,839
Don't you call my
boy a bastard again.
709
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:24,480
He's my son... and I love him.
710
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:28,760
You silly bugger!
711
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:48,240
Heavy breathing
712
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:52,920
pleasured moaning
713
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:07,960
I can't hear you!
714
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:10,839
Can you hear me?
715
00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:12,320
Oh, hello!
716
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:16,360
Yes. Yes!
717
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:18,719
It's hot.
718
00:52:18,720 --> 00:52:20,680
Yes.
719
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:23,919
I've got a bit of a rash.
720
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,280
A rash!
721
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:31,280
There's bodies
everywhere. Disgusting.
722
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:34,639
Hello?
723
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:36,519
Oh, pillocks.
724
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:38,319
Shirley?
725
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,080
Dolly?
726
00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:43,519
Oh, sod it.
727
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:44,840
Out.
728
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:48,440
Out.
729
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,720
Come out!
730
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:07,480
What have we here?
731
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:22,240
Can you keep it down
a minute, Mac? Sorry.
732
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:29,680
Now... what have we
here, auntie Christine?
733
00:53:31,240 --> 00:53:34,560
I've been a naughty
boy. What? Speak up!
734
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:39,039
I've been a naughty
boy, Nana. Ha!
735
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:41,519
Another naughty boy, eh?
736
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:46,679
The world is full of
naughty schoolboys.
737
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:49,639
What's the naughty boy done?
738
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:51,639
I was late for school.
739
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:53,519
What?
740
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:58,520
Did you hear that, auntie
Christine? Late for school.
741
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:03,000
This is very serious,
auntie Christine.
742
00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:05,920
I'm sorry, Nana.
743
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:11,759
What does Nana
do to little boys...
744
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:14,519
Who are late for school?
745
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:17,680
Tell me... what does she do?
746
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:22,639
Gives them a
smack, Nana. Correct.
747
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:23,920
Where?
748
00:54:25,240 --> 00:54:27,360
Where does she smack them?
749
00:54:30,240 --> 00:54:33,119
On their bot-bots.
On their bot-bots.
750
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:35,119
Yes.
751
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:38,360
Every naughty
boy gets a smack...
752
00:54:40,520 --> 00:54:42,560
..On his bot-bot.
753
00:54:44,720 --> 00:54:46,360
Over.
754
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:49,280
Bend over. Yes, Nana.
755
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:53,960
Right over. Yes.
756
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:00,839
Please don't leave any marks.
757
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:02,839
Say thank you to Nana.
758
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:04,760
Thank you, nanny.
759
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:09,360
You...
760
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:13,360
..Are a disgusting...
761
00:55:14,720 --> 00:55:17,160
..Little... bugger!
762
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:22,720
He quivers
763
00:55:25,720 --> 00:55:27,400
oh, this is lovely.
764
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:31,759
All schoolgirls together.
765
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:33,799
No boys.
766
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:36,280
Just girls. All together.
767
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:40,319
Christine, if you ever
need legal advice...
768
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:43,119
Lionel's an excellent
barrister, aren't you, Lionel?
769
00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:45,479
Oh, yes.
770
00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:48,599
Oh, have you seen
these dirty books
771
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:50,840
those teachers have
left lying around?
772
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:55,519
"Sex on lesbos".
773
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:57,480
Oh.
774
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:01,480
It makes me come
over all lesbian.
775
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:09,760
Me too.
776
00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:17,800
Ooh.
777
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:20,960
She's got nice legs.
778
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:25,880
So have you.
779
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:30,680
Hasn't she got nice legs?
780
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:34,880
Lovely.
781
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:37,760
I think she must be a lesbian...
782
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,360
..Just like us.
783
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:45,799
You're a lesbian,
aren't you? Yes.
784
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:47,960
Yes, I am.
785
00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:53,480
Me too.
786
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:59,680
What lovely legs she's got.
787
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:04,719
Oh, I love being a
lesbian, don't you?
788
00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:06,960
Yes. Yes, I do.
789
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:11,719
Me too. Polly parrot.
790
00:57:11,720 --> 00:57:15,320
Popozogolou? Popozogolou.
791
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:18,320
Him.
792
00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:23,319
Sad and hopeless. Comes in his
cocoa before he's got the plonker on.
793
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:25,160
Don't look it.
794
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:29,639
What about him?
795
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:31,160
Which one? By the door.
796
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:34,439
Bent as a box of frogs, dear.
797
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:38,159
Looks nice. Maybe
he is. I don't know.
798
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:42,479
Most men don't like sex that
much. Can't wait to get it over.
799
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:43,999
They're only after one thing.
800
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:46,439
If they didn't want it,
we'd be out of a job.
801
00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:50,480
I didn't say want, Christine, I
said like. I said they didn't like it.
802
00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:58,159
What about your Ron? Enjoys
a good cuddle, just like me.
803
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:00,720
Knock at door oh, my god.
804
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:08,360
Let me out, let me out.
805
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:17,440
Wasp up her bum. Ta.
806
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:23,879
Oh, bumholes. I left my
butter in the fridge at the flat.
807
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:25,799
I'll get you some. Oh, ta.
808
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:29,799
Madam's got a fancy man.
Oh, sit down and shut up.
809
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:33,399
Yes, lady. What are
you having tonight?
810
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:36,440
Fillet steak, mangetout
and a bottle of beaujolais.
811
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:39,040
I've got a date.
812
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:43,480
I've got a date.
813
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:50,600
That lot can go to the jumble.
814
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:07,560
How does she do it?
815
00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:11,160
Shirley.
816
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:14,080
How can she do the two?
817
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:17,520
What about Ron?
What does he think?
818
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:20,720
That's their business.
819
00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:27,839
He's so good-looking,
Dolly. And charming.
820
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:31,039
He's got such a gentle look in
his eye. Do you know what I mean?
821
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:33,760
Who, Ron? No, silly cow.
822
00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:38,840
You know who I mean.
823
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,159
I'm fed up with
silly buggers, Dolly.
824
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:50,079
Had enough of naughty
schoolboys. I'm getting out.
825
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:52,920
How will you pay the
bills? I'll be married.
826
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:56,040
Oh, dear.
827
00:59:58,680 --> 01:00:00,760
Buzzer oh, bugger.
828
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:03,640
Can always do a bit on the side.
829
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:07,520
Pound says it's
Sydney. I'll marry him.
830
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:14,679
Hello, doll. This
is pat, my fiancee.
831
01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:17,759
We're engaged to be
married. This is Christine, doll.
832
01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:19,440
Hello.
833
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:45,640
Bend over.
834
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:49,440
That's for the inland
bloody revenue.
835
01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:55,999
Cheeky sods. What's
the matter with you today?
836
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:59,319
Good morning, ladies. Look
what I got in the post this morning.
837
01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:01,119
The floodgates are
open. What is it?
838
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:03,319
Inland bloody revenue
from when I got nicked.
839
01:01:03,320 --> 01:01:06,639
Box no. 192. A plethora
of kinky correspondence.
840
01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:09,999
Cheeky sods. They've assessed
my earnings and sent me a bill for tax.
841
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:13,080
Morning, Mac. You can't
leave those there, you know.
842
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:16,439
Some of us are working in here.
843
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:18,960
Who's attending to
mr webb's bot-bot?
844
01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:26,079
This one wants
golden rain, miss cane.
845
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:28,879
Does she now, miss stern?
846
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:33,760
Will you oblige, miss cane?
Let me at him, miss stern.
847
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:38,560
Excuse me. Yes?
848
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:43,119
Speak up! Excuse
me, superior mistress,
849
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:46,760
but how did you know I
worked for the inland revenue?
850
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:49,879
You work for the inland revenue?
851
01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:53,000
Yes. Psst.
852
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:57,439
What's golden rain? Piddle.
853
01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:00,039
What? He wants
you to piddle on him.
854
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:03,479
I can't do that. You've
agreed to it now.
855
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:05,080
Come on.
856
01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:13,439
Detective constables timms
and Gibson. Flying squad.
857
01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:15,119
No more vice, just villains.
858
01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:17,239
She's a cleaner, nothing
more, nothing less.
859
01:02:17,240 --> 01:02:18,439
All right, mr smartarse?
860
01:02:18,440 --> 01:02:21,599
I'm not interested. Christine,
they've been shifted.
861
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:23,360
They're not vice any more.
862
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:27,039
Cheeky sods.
863
01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:28,960
Put the kettle on, Dolly.
864
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:34,520
Have you got a toilet?
I'm busting. Yeah, me too.
865
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:37,679
They've come to
use the bloody toilet.
866
01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:39,160
Have they?
867
01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:41,720
This way.
868
01:03:08,360 --> 01:03:11,519
That's not too tight, is it? The
one round his neck looks tight.
869
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:13,080
It's fine.
870
01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:18,040
Hold these.
871
01:03:49,920 --> 01:03:53,039
Now, I wish to be
left in the chamber
872
01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:56,119
for exactly one,
and one half hour.
873
01:03:56,120 --> 01:04:00,439
If I need any assistance, I'll
press the alarm button here
874
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:02,439
and the light will come on.
875
01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:04,360
Is it working?
876
01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:07,680
Dolly: Yes. Yes.
877
01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:13,719
Can you hear us?
878
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:15,839
Yes.
879
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:17,760
One, and one half hour.
880
01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:22,080
Shirley, the gag, please.
881
01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:47,680
Right, slave, now we are
closing the doors for ever.
882
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:52,160
The high priestess
will attend without.
883
01:04:56,840 --> 01:05:01,039
That's it. Home. Supper.
Feet up in front of the telly.
884
01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:04,319
He's such a nice man. I
don't understand it, do you?
885
01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:06,119
No, I don't.
886
01:05:06,120 --> 01:05:10,399
I thought he was making a
cupboard for us to hang our coats in.
887
01:05:10,400 --> 01:05:11,919
I did.
888
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:14,519
It's a bit scary, isn't
it? I'll stay, if you like.
889
01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:16,560
No, you go. Good luck.
890
01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:21,680
What time's your
date? I've got ages yet.
891
01:05:22,840 --> 01:05:25,639
It's just a date.
He's only a fella.
892
01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:27,039
I'm so nervous.
893
01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:29,559
I've got the collywobbles.
894
01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:32,039
Go out. Enjoy yourself. Ta.
895
01:05:32,040 --> 01:05:35,360
Bye. Bye.
896
01:05:36,640 --> 01:05:37,920
Thank you, Dolly.
897
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:52,200
Lift bell dings
898
01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:39,040
Door closes
899
01:07:50,520 --> 01:07:52,120
Gentle shuffling
900
01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:17,000
Shuffling
901
01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:32,040
She gasps oh, my god!
902
01:08:34,640 --> 01:08:36,760
Please... Mr popozogolou!
903
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:49,559
If I'd have known,
if you'd told me,
904
01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:52,840
you could borrow my
clothes any time you want.
905
01:08:55,200 --> 01:08:58,080
You could come round
here and dress up.
906
01:08:59,240 --> 01:09:00,800
I'll dress up with
you, if you want.
907
01:09:02,400 --> 01:09:05,079
You don't have to come
creeping in here, you know.
908
01:09:05,080 --> 01:09:07,120
You can wear whatever
you want in here.
909
01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:12,879
I'm... not a transvestite.
910
01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:15,720
I'm not a homosexual.
I don't mind if you are.
911
01:09:18,080 --> 01:09:20,240
I love my wife. That's nice.
912
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:30,040
I like to wear dress.
913
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:32,279
Doorbell
914
01:09:32,280 --> 01:09:33,599
oh, my god. The red light!
915
01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:36,200
What is it? Oh, no.
916
01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:41,160
Doorbell
917
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:52,599
Hello.
918
01:09:52,600 --> 01:09:53,719
What do you want?
919
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:56,120
Friendly visit. Off duty.
920
01:09:57,880 --> 01:09:59,520
Peace. Pax.
921
01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:02,920
I've come to check your locks.
922
01:10:03,880 --> 01:10:05,680
I'm busy.
923
01:10:06,680 --> 01:10:08,559
Don't you ever get fed up?
924
01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:10,079
What with?
925
01:10:10,080 --> 01:10:12,160
All these kinky sods.
926
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:16,840
Don't you ever ache
for something straight?
927
01:10:19,480 --> 01:10:21,719
Not that I've noticed.
928
01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:23,720
I think you do.
929
01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:27,279
I know you do.
930
01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:29,320
It's written all over your face.
931
01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:32,960
Let me come in.
932
01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:35,240
Now.
933
01:10:38,960 --> 01:10:41,360
You've got to keep
in with the police.
934
01:10:43,760 --> 01:10:45,720
Sorry, too late.
935
01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:51,359
Oh, my god! Bloody hell!
936
01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:53,479
Mac! Are you alive or dead?
937
01:10:53,480 --> 01:10:55,840
Muffled: I'm alive!
938
01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:12,759
This is very nice, madam.
939
01:12:12,760 --> 01:12:14,959
There are three other
bedrooms of this size.
940
01:12:14,960 --> 01:12:18,159
A small bedroom and a box room.
Oh, that would be my room, madam.
941
01:12:18,160 --> 01:12:21,320
I'll put you in a bloody
kennel! Yes, please.
942
01:12:24,280 --> 01:12:26,279
Nice.
943
01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:30,360
They are well-proportioned
rooms. Very nice.
944
01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:34,039
If you put up some of the cash,
945
01:12:34,040 --> 01:12:36,159
it gives you no rights
over my life, you know.
946
01:12:36,160 --> 01:12:38,159
Call it an indulgence, madam,
947
01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:40,920
of an ageing pillock in
the Autumn of his days.
948
01:12:51,560 --> 01:12:54,919
The perfect locale
for a brothel, madam.
949
01:12:54,920 --> 01:12:56,759
A house of pleasure.
950
01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:59,519
Privacy and discretion assured.
951
01:12:59,520 --> 01:13:01,679
It's a home. My home.
952
01:13:01,680 --> 01:13:04,199
Not just a knocking-shop.
953
01:13:04,200 --> 01:13:06,920
But the place for
sex is in the home.
954
01:13:12,880 --> 01:13:15,799
A guaranteed loan,
madam, through my bank.
955
01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:17,479
The bargain of a lifetime.
956
01:13:17,480 --> 01:13:20,399
Snap it up now, before
senile dementia runs me down.
957
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:22,399
This garden's a mess.
958
01:13:22,400 --> 01:13:24,479
Slaves required.
959
01:13:24,480 --> 01:13:26,479
Foot and shoe
fetishists welcome.
960
01:13:26,480 --> 01:13:28,479
Household and
garden duties essential.
961
01:13:28,480 --> 01:13:30,320
Won't cost a penny.
962
01:13:31,280 --> 01:13:32,879
I'll leave that to you.
963
01:13:32,880 --> 01:13:34,720
I'll take care of
everything, madam.
964
01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:36,999
Nice.
965
01:13:37,000 --> 01:13:38,799
A mess.
966
01:13:38,800 --> 01:13:40,720
A nice mess.
967
01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:20,479
Turn on the light!
968
01:14:20,480 --> 01:14:22,479
Danielle! Turn the light on!
969
01:14:22,480 --> 01:14:24,960
Groaning
970
01:14:28,080 --> 01:14:31,799
you see? Christine!
They want more, madam!
971
01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:34,599
You shouldn't be
watching this. Not yet.
972
01:14:34,600 --> 01:14:36,199
They can't wait, madam!
973
01:14:36,200 --> 01:14:40,799
We want to see the films.
We want to see the films.
974
01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:43,639
There's going to be
a lesbian display first.
975
01:14:43,640 --> 01:14:45,479
The blue films are for later.
976
01:14:45,480 --> 01:14:47,719
We've got hot
pussies, horse lovers,
977
01:14:47,720 --> 01:14:49,999
way to Valhalla... And
Casanova and the nuns!
978
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:51,599
And the nuns. Doorbell rings
979
01:14:51,600 --> 01:14:55,999
but there's going to be a
real live lesbian display first.
980
01:14:56,000 --> 01:14:57,960
Bloody well cheer up, Danielle.
981
01:15:00,520 --> 01:15:03,919
No sex in the bathroom, please!
982
01:15:03,920 --> 01:15:06,360
Last time, somebody
pulled the sink off the wall.
983
01:15:07,600 --> 01:15:08,999
Come on.
984
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:11,079
That's it. I'm all right.
985
01:15:11,080 --> 01:15:13,519
Come in! My dear
Christine, hello.
986
01:15:13,520 --> 01:15:16,159
This is my friend and
colleague, mr patel.
987
01:15:16,160 --> 01:15:19,159
Hello. Come in. Is this the
one that's getting me the fridge?
988
01:15:19,160 --> 01:15:20,439
He's the one.
989
01:15:20,440 --> 01:15:23,559
We offer the best discounts in
town, miss painter. Anything you like.
990
01:15:23,560 --> 01:15:26,399
Except sex, eh? Ha-bloody-ha!
991
01:15:26,400 --> 01:15:30,399
Now, brothel days are mondays,
wednesdays and Fridays.
992
01:15:30,400 --> 01:15:32,599
But this is just a
party, a sex party.
993
01:15:32,600 --> 01:15:34,999
So, enjoy yourselves. Who
have we got here this evening?
994
01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:38,479
Helen's here, and
Barbara. She's nice.
995
01:15:38,480 --> 01:15:39,959
Oh, and there's fay.
996
01:15:39,960 --> 01:15:41,399
No charge.
997
01:15:41,400 --> 01:15:44,839
She only does it in her
spare time. She's really a vet.
998
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:50,119
Now, when you go upstairs,
you hand that in to the girl.
999
01:15:50,120 --> 01:15:51,799
Don't pay the girl.
1000
01:15:51,800 --> 01:15:54,240
I pay them later. They
hand me back the vouchers.
1001
01:15:56,760 --> 01:15:58,719
Nicole, get these
two gentlemen a drink.
1002
01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:01,760
There's going to be a real
live lesbian show in a minute.
1003
01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:08,999
Silly bugger! What do you think
you're doing? I'm on a quest, madam.
1004
01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:11,519
Searching for the perfect
expression of my femininity.
1005
01:16:11,520 --> 01:16:13,199
Not easy for an ageing pillock.
1006
01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:16,239
Why can't you grow old
gracefully, silly old sod?
1007
01:16:16,240 --> 01:16:19,999
Oh, certainly not, madam. I
intend to grow old disgracefully!
1008
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:21,480
Disgusting.
1009
01:16:33,120 --> 01:16:35,519
Here. Straight from
the chicken's gonger.
1010
01:16:35,520 --> 01:16:37,399
Thank you, Christine.
1011
01:16:37,400 --> 01:16:39,440
You're a dear.
1012
01:16:50,400 --> 01:16:52,440
A beacon among the rocks.
1013
01:16:54,920 --> 01:16:56,840
Among the cocks, more like.
1014
01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:23,640
Dirty old sods,
every one of you.
1015
01:17:27,720 --> 01:17:31,080
What's the point of being
old if you can't be dirty?
1016
01:17:50,840 --> 01:17:52,240
Nice party.
1017
01:17:58,640 --> 01:18:06,640
♪ Happy birthday to you
1018
01:18:08,120 --> 01:18:14,199
♪ happy birthday, dear David
1019
01:18:14,200 --> 01:18:19,279
♪ happy birthday to you. ♪
1020
01:18:19,280 --> 01:18:21,039
Hooray!
1021
01:18:21,040 --> 01:18:22,640
Applause
1022
01:18:25,480 --> 01:18:27,080
come on, where's your puff, boy?
1023
01:18:28,720 --> 01:18:30,760
Right. Here.
1024
01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:34,720
What about the cake,
madam? Wait a bloody minute.
1025
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:49,320
Happy birthday.
1026
01:18:50,400 --> 01:18:52,240
Hello, David.
1027
01:18:54,720 --> 01:18:56,640
This is Carol.
1028
01:19:08,280 --> 01:19:11,199
Oh! I'm sorry,
did I startle you?
1029
01:19:11,200 --> 01:19:13,999
I thought you'd gone. I
must be getting underway.
1030
01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:16,560
Yes, you must.
1031
01:19:17,960 --> 01:19:19,319
Thank you so much.
1032
01:19:19,320 --> 01:19:23,039
Same time next week? Yes. I
should take that off if I were you.
1033
01:19:23,040 --> 01:19:25,880
Oh! Thank you. Yes.
1034
01:19:27,720 --> 01:19:30,040
Next week, then.
Three o'clock prompt!
1035
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:35,960
Winky-poos and bot-bots.
1036
01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:40,439
Yes? Hello.
1037
01:19:40,440 --> 01:19:43,519
Hello. You're late! Sorry, mistress
Christine. I've been at work.
1038
01:19:43,520 --> 01:19:47,480
Work? There's work to be done
round here, my boy! In! In! Go on!
1039
01:19:49,400 --> 01:19:52,040
Come on! Come on,
slave! Get a move on!
1040
01:19:59,400 --> 01:20:01,559
What do you think this is,
the queen's garden party?
1041
01:20:01,560 --> 01:20:03,119
Get busy, you lot!
1042
01:20:03,120 --> 01:20:04,519
Now! Go on!
1043
01:20:04,520 --> 01:20:06,359
Madam, they want
to know how much.
1044
01:20:06,360 --> 01:20:09,479
What for? Digging the garden.
1045
01:20:09,480 --> 01:20:11,919
They're slaves. I
thought it was free.
1046
01:20:11,920 --> 01:20:13,959
No, they want to know
how much you want
1047
01:20:13,960 --> 01:20:16,040
for letting them dig the garden.
1048
01:20:19,880 --> 01:20:22,720
They've got to work much harder.
1049
01:20:24,480 --> 01:20:27,480
Or I won't accept a penny.
Sorry, mistress Christine.
1050
01:20:37,920 --> 01:20:39,760
What is it?
1051
01:20:46,120 --> 01:20:47,480
Dad.
1052
01:20:56,120 --> 01:20:57,919
So, this is it.
1053
01:20:57,920 --> 01:21:00,520
That's right, this is
it. Have a good look.
1054
01:21:01,760 --> 01:21:04,400
I'm not here for a
row. Makes a change.
1055
01:21:05,600 --> 01:21:07,359
It doesn't matter
which side I stand,
1056
01:21:07,360 --> 01:21:10,079
I'm always on the wrong
side of you. It's not easy.
1057
01:21:10,080 --> 01:21:11,360
Then why bother?
1058
01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:16,760
I need a woman.
1059
01:21:21,040 --> 01:21:22,240
Pardon?
1060
01:21:23,720 --> 01:21:25,399
A woman.
1061
01:21:25,400 --> 01:21:27,600
Your father needs a woman.
1062
01:21:31,200 --> 01:21:32,480
Thanks, mum.
1063
01:21:33,600 --> 01:21:35,519
Your grandfather's here, David.
1064
01:21:35,520 --> 01:21:37,919
Hello, son. Hello.
1065
01:21:37,920 --> 01:21:43,520
Grandpa. Here. Happy birthday.
1066
01:21:46,000 --> 01:21:48,199
Thanks, grandpa.
1067
01:21:48,200 --> 01:21:50,160
Dad!
1068
01:21:54,280 --> 01:21:56,760
She sobs
1069
01:22:06,040 --> 01:22:08,279
Dad. David, excuse us, please.
1070
01:22:08,280 --> 01:22:09,720
Dad, come with me.
1071
01:22:13,800 --> 01:22:15,760
Up or down?
1072
01:22:25,000 --> 01:22:26,599
Dad, this is Carol.
1073
01:22:26,600 --> 01:22:28,999
Carol, this is my dad.
1074
01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:30,759
How do you do, mr painter?
1075
01:22:30,760 --> 01:22:33,720
How do you do?
Very well, thank you.
1076
01:22:47,720 --> 01:22:49,240
She exhales
1077
01:22:54,640 --> 01:22:59,159
♪ a long time ago in Bethlehem
1078
01:22:59,160 --> 01:23:03,000
♪ so the holy Bible say
1079
01:23:04,320 --> 01:23:09,199
♪ Mary's boy child, Jesus Christ
1080
01:23:09,200 --> 01:23:13,799
♪ was born on Christmas day
1081
01:23:13,800 --> 01:23:18,640
♪ hark now hear the angels sing
1082
01:23:19,600 --> 01:23:23,999
♪ listen what they say
1083
01:23:24,000 --> 01:23:30,199
♪ that man will
live for evermore
1084
01:23:30,200 --> 01:23:33,840
♪ because of Christmas day. ♪
1085
01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:37,600
Laughter
1086
01:23:40,680 --> 01:23:42,439
cheering
1087
01:23:42,440 --> 01:23:43,840
applause
1088
01:23:53,080 --> 01:23:56,040
Whooping
1089
01:24:04,920 --> 01:24:07,040
Laughter
1090
01:24:23,240 --> 01:24:25,159
Cheering and applause
1091
01:24:25,160 --> 01:24:26,959
I saw you!
1092
01:24:26,960 --> 01:24:28,799
Thank you, Lorena!
1093
01:24:28,800 --> 01:24:30,279
Now, then, you lot.
1094
01:24:30,280 --> 01:24:33,039
Come on, webby. I
want a snap with the girls.
1095
01:24:33,040 --> 01:24:34,599
Lorena, you can
come back out now!
1096
01:24:34,600 --> 01:24:36,199
You two, shift your gongers.
1097
01:24:36,200 --> 01:24:37,720
All the men, out!
1098
01:24:40,280 --> 01:24:42,559
Come on! Come on, girls! In!
1099
01:24:42,560 --> 01:24:45,919
Come on you lot, stop pissing
about! I want you to get into this picture.
1100
01:24:45,920 --> 01:24:47,359
Jenny! Look at her knickers.
1101
01:24:47,360 --> 01:24:50,279
Gloria? Oh, she's
here. Come on, Helen!
1102
01:24:50,280 --> 01:24:53,359
Come on. Come on, Shirley.
In the middle. And Dolly.
1103
01:24:53,360 --> 01:24:55,399
I'm here. Oh, you're
here. That's right.
1104
01:24:55,400 --> 01:24:59,279
Oh, Danielle, stop looking so
bloody miserable. Get in at the side.
1105
01:24:59,280 --> 01:25:01,199
Nicole!
1106
01:25:01,200 --> 01:25:03,159
Me too, madam.
Not bloody likely.
1107
01:25:03,160 --> 01:25:05,239
Oh, yes, please,
madam! Yes, come on.
1108
01:25:05,240 --> 01:25:08,279
Hey! Hey, what about
the men? No men!
1109
01:25:08,280 --> 01:25:10,279
Yes, what about us?
1110
01:25:10,280 --> 01:25:12,040
Right.
1111
01:25:14,240 --> 01:25:17,799
One, two, three...
1112
01:25:17,800 --> 01:25:19,440
All: Sex!
1113
01:25:23,160 --> 01:25:25,159
Merry Christmas!
1114
01:25:25,160 --> 01:25:26,680
Happy Christmas!
1115
01:25:30,560 --> 01:25:33,919
Let the fucking commence!
1116
01:25:33,920 --> 01:25:35,120
Cheering
1117
01:25:49,480 --> 01:25:51,000
Laughter
1118
01:26:00,280 --> 01:26:02,320
Jingle bells plays
1119
01:26:04,200 --> 01:26:06,319
tyres screech
1120
01:26:06,320 --> 01:26:07,720
brakes screech
1121
01:26:12,840 --> 01:26:14,600
Jingle bells continues
1122
01:26:21,240 --> 01:26:22,919
Knock at door
1123
01:26:22,920 --> 01:26:25,039
who is it? I am
a police officer.
1124
01:26:25,040 --> 01:26:26,879
I have a warrant to
enter these premises!
1125
01:26:26,880 --> 01:26:29,800
Open up! Look out,
everybody, it's a raid!
1126
01:26:35,760 --> 01:26:37,399
Oh, shit.
1127
01:26:37,400 --> 01:26:39,320
Come on, lads. Keep on.
1128
01:26:40,280 --> 01:26:43,279
Oh, well, you might as well
come in now you're here!
1129
01:26:43,280 --> 01:26:45,120
Nice to see you again.
1130
01:26:51,360 --> 01:26:53,679
What the hell's
going on? Who's this?
1131
01:26:53,680 --> 01:26:55,360
Record scratches
1132
01:26:56,480 --> 01:26:57,719
come on in, boys.
1133
01:26:57,720 --> 01:27:00,319
That's right. And you, girls.
1134
01:27:00,320 --> 01:27:02,600
We're short on girls.
1135
01:27:06,440 --> 01:27:08,640
Sod off!
1136
01:27:13,360 --> 01:27:15,120
Both: Sex!
1137
01:27:17,960 --> 01:27:20,599
We are police officers.
Stop what you are doing.
1138
01:27:20,600 --> 01:27:24,320
I don't care who you
are. I'm not stopping now.
1139
01:27:28,160 --> 01:27:30,079
Arrest this woman!
1140
01:27:30,080 --> 01:27:32,160
That is an offensive weapon!
1141
01:27:38,560 --> 01:27:40,039
Out!
1142
01:27:40,040 --> 01:27:43,439
Police radio:
'1-6-4-5. All cars...'
1143
01:27:43,440 --> 01:27:46,360
come on! What are
you waiting...? Oh!
1144
01:27:59,480 --> 01:28:01,159
♪ Rule britannia
1145
01:28:01,160 --> 01:28:02,759
♪ britannia rules the waves
1146
01:28:02,760 --> 01:28:05,879
♪ britons never, never,
never shall be slaves. ♪
1147
01:28:05,880 --> 01:28:08,679
Sod 'em all,
madam! I'm a pervert!
1148
01:28:08,680 --> 01:28:12,159
Hip-hip hooray! Hip-hip
hooray! Hip-hip hooray!
1149
01:28:12,160 --> 01:28:14,119
Do you have to
knock down the doors?
1150
01:28:14,120 --> 01:28:16,439
This is the woman, and
these are the premises
1151
01:28:16,440 --> 01:28:18,959
on which I've kept observation
over the last three months.
1152
01:28:18,960 --> 01:28:22,119
This house has been operating
as a brothel during that time.
1153
01:28:22,120 --> 01:28:24,799
You've heard the officer.
What have you to say?
1154
01:28:24,800 --> 01:28:26,959
If I'd know he'd been
out there all that time,
1155
01:28:26,960 --> 01:28:28,760
I'd have asked him
in for a cup of tea.
1156
01:28:31,560 --> 01:28:34,000
Can't you tell him
not to? In the Van!
1157
01:28:37,280 --> 01:28:39,039
Diplomats? I beg your pardon?
1158
01:28:39,040 --> 01:28:40,879
Are you diplomats?
1159
01:28:40,880 --> 01:28:42,879
Yes, we are diplomats.
1160
01:28:42,880 --> 01:28:44,159
No scandals, please.
1161
01:28:44,160 --> 01:28:45,559
Scarper. Thank you, sir.
1162
01:28:45,560 --> 01:28:47,520
Yes, sir.
1163
01:29:23,280 --> 01:29:24,599
Pay no attention.
1164
01:29:24,600 --> 01:29:27,120
Siren blares
1165
01:29:29,080 --> 01:29:30,559
I'm not going in that!
1166
01:29:30,560 --> 01:29:33,199
Hello, Maureen!
We're being raided!
1167
01:29:33,200 --> 01:29:34,999
I hope you'll apologise
to the neighbours.
1168
01:29:35,000 --> 01:29:36,279
Don't make trouble, madam.
1169
01:29:36,280 --> 01:29:39,119
I'm not going in no black Maria
like some common criminal.
1170
01:29:39,120 --> 01:29:40,839
Everyone else is.
1171
01:29:40,840 --> 01:29:44,079
I'll go in yours. Which is
yours? Is this yours? Come on.
1172
01:29:44,080 --> 01:29:46,279
Come on. Very well, madam.
1173
01:29:46,280 --> 01:29:48,279
He's a gentleman!
1174
01:29:48,280 --> 01:29:50,200
Just my type.
1175
01:29:51,160 --> 01:29:53,120
A touch of royalty about him.
1176
01:29:54,600 --> 01:29:57,440
Silent night plays
1177
01:30:00,080 --> 01:30:01,959
get off!
1178
01:30:01,960 --> 01:30:04,000
Come on.
1179
01:30:06,760 --> 01:30:10,279
Come on, you're not going
anywhere like that. Come on.
1180
01:30:10,280 --> 01:30:12,599
Oh, shit. Come here.
1181
01:30:12,600 --> 01:30:14,680
She squeals
1182
01:30:18,760 --> 01:30:20,399
she shrieks
1183
01:30:20,400 --> 01:30:21,600
come on.
1184
01:30:38,560 --> 01:30:39,920
Ooh!
1185
01:30:41,560 --> 01:30:43,000
What a carry-on, eh?
1186
01:30:44,880 --> 01:30:46,879
Settle down!
1187
01:30:46,880 --> 01:30:48,759
Baa!
1188
01:30:48,760 --> 01:30:50,800
Baa-baa!
1189
01:30:53,680 --> 01:30:55,879
Bleah! Blah!
1190
01:30:55,880 --> 01:30:57,879
Bleah! Bleah!
1191
01:30:57,880 --> 01:30:59,839
Baa! Gentlemen!
1192
01:30:59,840 --> 01:31:01,119
Bleah!
1193
01:31:01,120 --> 01:31:03,919
Gentlemen, I would
ask you to be patient.
1194
01:31:03,920 --> 01:31:08,879
Tea and baked beans will be
served and statements will be taken.
1195
01:31:08,880 --> 01:31:10,879
We won't keep you long.
1196
01:31:10,880 --> 01:31:12,279
You're all a lot of sheep!
1197
01:31:12,280 --> 01:31:15,359
You don't have to give statements!
Ask him what's the charge.
1198
01:31:15,360 --> 01:31:18,359
You're all a lot of sheep!
What's the charge?
1199
01:31:18,360 --> 01:31:21,360
Sheep! Baa! Baa! Baa!
1200
01:31:22,560 --> 01:31:25,079
I'm a retired
officer of the raf!
1201
01:31:25,080 --> 01:31:27,079
Twice decorated!
1202
01:31:27,080 --> 01:31:30,479
I flew 207 missions
over occupied territory!
1203
01:31:30,480 --> 01:31:32,279
In bra and panties!
1204
01:31:32,280 --> 01:31:33,760
You're a disgrace.
1205
01:31:36,280 --> 01:31:39,719
This is no way to treat a lady!
1206
01:31:39,720 --> 01:31:42,679
It's just like a
tupperware party, really.
1207
01:31:42,680 --> 01:31:46,559
But I sell sex instead
of plastic containers.
1208
01:31:46,560 --> 01:31:50,359
If the wives were willing,
I'd be out of a job, wouldn't I?
1209
01:31:50,360 --> 01:31:52,479
They go off sex.
1210
01:31:52,480 --> 01:31:54,479
Rather sell tupperware.
1211
01:31:54,480 --> 01:31:56,160
Ha-bloody-ha.
1212
01:31:58,760 --> 01:32:00,759
Sex soon goes out of a marriage.
1213
01:32:00,760 --> 01:32:02,959
I'm a bit old-fashioned, really.
1214
01:32:02,960 --> 01:32:04,959
I believe in marriage.
1215
01:32:04,960 --> 01:32:06,959
Men are animals, sexually.
1216
01:32:06,960 --> 01:32:09,959
They don't talk a bit of sense
until you've got them despunked.
1217
01:32:09,960 --> 01:32:12,959
Women are more affectionate.
They like a bit of affection.
1218
01:32:12,960 --> 01:32:15,879
Though I've met a few
horny buggers in my time.
1219
01:32:15,880 --> 01:32:19,519
The wife wants a
three-piece suite.
1220
01:32:19,520 --> 01:32:21,519
If she gave the man sex,
1221
01:32:21,520 --> 01:32:25,719
he might be more inclined to come
across with the three-piece suite.
1222
01:32:25,720 --> 01:32:28,279
It may not be a
fashionable thing to say,
1223
01:32:28,280 --> 01:32:29,799
but once you've
got him despunked,
1224
01:32:29,800 --> 01:32:32,159
and he's sitting there
thinking he's all wonderful,
1225
01:32:32,160 --> 01:32:34,679
done you a good turn, given
you a pair of soggy knickers,
1226
01:32:34,680 --> 01:32:37,559
in the afterglow of his glory,
he's more likely to come across
1227
01:32:37,560 --> 01:32:40,560
with a dralon three-piece,
don't you think?
1228
01:32:41,880 --> 01:32:44,359
Well, you could well
be right, love. I dunno.
1229
01:32:44,360 --> 01:32:46,759
Personally, I've been
married for 20 years,
1230
01:32:46,760 --> 01:32:49,800
and we still go
at it like rabbits.
1231
01:32:51,080 --> 01:32:53,199
I'm responsible, not the men.
1232
01:32:53,200 --> 01:32:55,279
You can't expect the
men to be responsible.
1233
01:32:55,280 --> 01:32:58,839
When the balls are full,
the brain is empty. Ask him.
1234
01:32:58,840 --> 01:33:01,599
He should know.
I'm fully responsible.
1235
01:33:01,600 --> 01:33:03,279
We're looking to
make several charges.
1236
01:33:03,280 --> 01:33:05,799
Including possessing
obscene articles for gain,
1237
01:33:05,800 --> 01:33:07,559
selling liquor
without a licence,
1238
01:33:07,560 --> 01:33:11,279
running a disorderly
house, and keeping a brothel.
1239
01:33:11,280 --> 01:33:15,279
I just perform a service.
1240
01:33:15,280 --> 01:33:16,719
You will go down for this.
1241
01:33:16,720 --> 01:33:19,680
I only go down for a price, dear,
and I doubt if you could afford it.
1242
01:33:59,080 --> 01:34:02,840
♪ Earth stood hard as iron
1243
01:34:04,360 --> 01:34:08,120
♪ water like a stone
1244
01:34:10,160 --> 01:34:16,239
♪ snow had fallen, snow on snow
1245
01:34:16,240 --> 01:34:19,960
♪ snow on snow
1246
01:34:23,800 --> 01:34:28,520
♪ in the bleak midwinter
1247
01:34:30,000 --> 01:34:34,800
♪ long ago. ♪
1248
01:34:49,960 --> 01:34:51,280
Yah!
1249
01:35:00,600 --> 01:35:02,919
Good morning, gentlemen.
Good morning, ladies.
1250
01:35:02,920 --> 01:35:05,439
Please, please! No
need to storm the fort.
1251
01:35:05,440 --> 01:35:08,839
Is miss painter here? No,
madam is not here at present.
1252
01:35:08,840 --> 01:35:10,439
But if you would
care to follow me,
1253
01:35:10,440 --> 01:35:13,400
we will proceed with a
conducted tour of the premises.
1254
01:35:14,520 --> 01:35:17,839
This way, please. This way.
1255
01:35:17,840 --> 01:35:20,479
Is it true she gave sex
to people in wheelchairs?
1256
01:35:20,480 --> 01:35:22,359
Well, there was a
minimal charge, sir.
1257
01:35:22,360 --> 01:35:24,479
But yes, it's true.
Everything's true, sir.
1258
01:35:24,480 --> 01:35:26,039
All in good time.
1259
01:35:26,040 --> 01:35:29,759
My name is Morton.
Ex wing commander.
1260
01:35:29,760 --> 01:35:33,719
Since my retirement, I have
devoted my life to transvestism
1261
01:35:33,720 --> 01:35:35,759
and the pursuit of
sexual deviation.
1262
01:35:35,760 --> 01:35:37,679
And I'm now a very happy man,
1263
01:35:37,680 --> 01:35:40,880
having escaped from an
extremely overcrowded closet.
1264
01:35:42,480 --> 01:35:45,079
Here, catering strictly for the
tastes of the older gentleman,
1265
01:35:45,080 --> 01:35:47,079
here is the lounge
where clients relax
1266
01:35:47,080 --> 01:35:50,799
with a bridge roll
and a gin and tonic
1267
01:35:50,800 --> 01:35:52,919
before going with the
lady of their choice...
1268
01:35:52,920 --> 01:35:55,519
Thus undermining the
moral fabric of the nation.
1269
01:35:55,520 --> 01:35:59,399
But let me take you to where
I know you're longing to go.
1270
01:35:59,400 --> 01:36:04,559
Upstairs! To reveal the exotic
underbelly of our beloved country.
1271
01:36:04,560 --> 01:36:07,359
Follow in the footsteps of
fathers and grandfathers,
1272
01:36:07,360 --> 01:36:08,559
fornicators all.
1273
01:36:08,560 --> 01:36:12,759
If, in your innocence, there is
anything you do not understand,
1274
01:36:12,760 --> 01:36:17,119
if there's anything you wish
to see, do not hesitate to ask.
1275
01:36:17,120 --> 01:36:20,680
For in this house, we
have nothing to hide.
1276
01:36:54,120 --> 01:36:56,080
Be upstanding in court.
1277
01:37:38,400 --> 01:37:41,199
♪ Bless this house
1278
01:37:41,200 --> 01:37:44,479
♪ oh, lord, we pray
1279
01:37:44,480 --> 01:37:50,159
♪ make it safe by night and day
1280
01:37:50,160 --> 01:37:53,039
♪ bless these walls
1281
01:37:53,040 --> 01:37:57,119
♪ so firm and stout
1282
01:37:57,120 --> 01:38:02,440
♪ keeping want and trouble out
1283
01:38:03,680 --> 01:38:09,280
♪ bless the roof
and chimneys tall
1284
01:38:10,720 --> 01:38:16,160
♪ let thy peace lie over all
1285
01:38:17,480 --> 01:38:23,320
♪ bless this door
that it may prove
1286
01:38:24,600 --> 01:38:31,600
♪ ever open to joy and love. ♪
1287
01:40:30,360 --> 01:40:32,400
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