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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Jesus, Michael.
2
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You want to 'Gram with the shrine?
3
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No, I'm, uh. I'm good.
4
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Well, Kathleen.
5
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- Welcome to the life.
- Mm-hmm.
6
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Hey, sweetheart.
7
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Kathleen, I'd love for
you to meet my wife, Ava.
8
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Ava, I'd like for you
to meet my mortal enemy,
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Kathleen Townsend.
10
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Kathleen.
11
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It is a pleasure to finally meet you.
12
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Well, likewise. Likewise.
13
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- Congratulations, newlyweds.
- Thank you.
14
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A May-December romance
really warms my heart.
15
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Aww, that's so sweet.
16
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- And you look wonderful, by the way.
- Thank you.
17
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:51,361
I think I recognize that
outfit from season six.
18
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Okay, well, I will leave
the two of you to catch up.
19
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Behave.
20
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Congratulations.
21
00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:02,163
Not bad.
22
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,373
I mean, a year ago,
23
00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:06,876
you were doing insurance
commercials with talking beavers.
24
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,586
And now, now you have all this
25
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She have family money?
26
00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:14,426
Oh no. Ava is 100% self-made.
27
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She founded a discount
online brokerage for women...
28
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She Trade.
29
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So this is a treat.
30
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After three years radio silence.
31
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What is this? Some
kind of 12-Step thing?
32
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You're a rage-a-holic?
You here to make amends?
33
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No.
34
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:34,237
This isn't easy for me, Michael.
35
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I know that we have hurt
each other in the past.
36
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I know that I have hurt you terribly.
37
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But I have to ask you for a favor.
38
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Uh-huh?
39
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:49,252
I want you to do a play with me.
40
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,715
What? It's one night
only. Regional theater.
41
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Oh, but they have very deep pockets.
42
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,345
I think some of the donors
are big "Spooky" fans actually.
43
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They offered big money.
44
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,265
What's the play?
45
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"The Ghosts of Pensacola."
46
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Ugh. Listen, even 30 years
ago, that mope-fest sucked.
47
00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:10,732
Those were the best
reviews of our career.
48
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It's a low bar.
49
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:15,528
Michael, do you know
that if you died tomorrow,
50
00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,280
you would be remembered
51
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,157
for Spooky and the Cop.
52
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,492
Well, that's great.
53
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,994
That means I provided
joy to a lot of people.
54
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You are an artist.
55
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It rages in your blood.
56
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,417
I know your soul.
57
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:34,339
I remember what the fire
was like on that stage.
58
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,091
Okay, I think you're
overselling it, darling.
59
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:39,719
The primal connection we
had before the success,
60
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,597
before the feuds and the tabloids.
61
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,141
Oh yeah, and the "People"
magazine interview
62
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where you implied that I couldn't read.
63
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,103
I said I was sorry.
64
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:49,896
It's still on my Wikipedia page.
65
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:52,899
There's a whole
subheading. "Illiteracy."
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00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,902
Michael, I'm desperate.
67
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:58,071
Please, I'm begging you.
68
00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,948
I will do anything you want.
69
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,200
I will prostrate myself publicly.
70
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,828
But I need this.
71
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:08,248
Do you know what it's like for
an actress of a certain age?
72
00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:10,500
You go from mom to senator
73
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,585
to dementia patient.
74
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,796
And, and I need the money.
75
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:21,720
Well, I'm sorry,
Kathleen. The answer's no.
76
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,096
Okay.
77
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,223
But if you need some cash,
I could, I could ask Ava.
78
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,725
Oh, fuck you!
79
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,855
And fuck you, bitch.
80
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,941
Fuckin' motherfuckers!
81
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,985
- Fuck!
- Jesus Christ.
82
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,611
Motherfucker!
83
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,530
Oh God.
84
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:42,949
Michael, I keep asking you
85
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:43,992
to keep your pills on you.
86
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,452
What if I'm not here?
87
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:46,619
- Ava...
- Your heart.
88
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:47,787
It's just seeing Kathleen
89
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:50,290
makes my blood pressure spike.
90
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:52,834
I'll get a massage from Jean Marc.
91
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:56,004
- Darling.
- Mm?
92
00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:58,757
Perhaps you should reconsider.
93
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:01,842
I worry.
94
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,472
You know, my money, my career,
95
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,932
all of... this.
96
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,977
You miss the limelight.
97
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,481
But with Kathleen?
98
00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:16,232
Oh, come on.
99
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,526
It was 30 years ago.
100
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,987
I'm sure you've both grown since then.
101
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,030
Hmm?
102
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:27,535
You manipulating, lying shrew!
103
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,163
Oh, grow up, you're a kept man.
104
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:33,208
You should be used to taking
direction from a woman.
105
00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:34,334
There is no way
106
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,378
I'm letting you direct this damn play!
107
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,671
Whoops, I am.
108
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,130
And you would have known that
109
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,423
had you read your contract
110
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,217
or had someone read it to you.
111
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:45,637
Oh, okay, great. I'm in hell!
112
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,097
And get this dog off the stage
113
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,556
before I kick it for three points.
114
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,183
Come here, Fosse.
115
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,559
Um, could we possibly discuss
116
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,520
my character's clubfoot
for just a moment?
117
00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:55,522
Because I would feel personally
a lot more comfortable
118
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:58,858
if somebody from the clubfoot
community were advising.
119
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,443
- Oh God. Really?
- Yeah.
120
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:03,029
Just get out there and hobble, honey.
121
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,698
That's the lunch menu, sir.
122
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:09,244
I'll have a club sandwich
with a side order of a gun.
123
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:12,539
Um, uh, and also, Harry, if
it's not too much trouble,
124
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:15,875
thanks, could you get me
a hibiscus tea, please?
125
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,877
With milk. Um, but not almond milk.
126
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,379
I know people like it, but I'm allergic
127
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,423
to all tree nuts and legumes, actually.
128
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,842
- Of course, you are.
- Well, no, I am.
129
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,593
So if those dog treats
are peanut-based,
130
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:26,720
because they smell peanut-based
131
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,054
and they say peanut butter on them,
132
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,724
I could go into
anaphylactic shock actually.
133
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:34,019
Hold on. What the fuck is that?
134
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,395
What?
135
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,564
That thing on your lap.
136
00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:38,898
What is it?
137
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:42,694
My script?
138
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,571
Would you like a representative
139
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:48,283
of the off-book community present?
140
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:51,202
You know, this is not a TikTok, baby.
141
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,413
This is my stage!
142
00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:58,460
And you show up knowing
your goddamn lines.
143
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,545
These fucking millennials.
144
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,088
Don't worry. You're doing great.
145
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,382
You've already lasted
longer than John Stamos.
146
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,135
Where is my stage manager Bill?
147
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,636
- Phil.
- Okay, Bill,
148
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,889
we are going to run this play
149
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:14,267
the exact same way we did in 1991.
150
00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:19,022
The timing on my trapdoor
exit at the finale
151
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:22,484
must be exactly the same.
152
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:25,612
Well, we don't do
trapdoor drops anymore.
153
00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:26,738
It, it isn't safe.
154
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,782
There's a 15-foot drop down
155
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:31,576
to a concrete floor underneath,
and union regulations state...
156
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:36,539
Okay, I did that drop
every night for one year.
157
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,958
Frank Rich called it "effective."
158
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,212
Okay, well, that was
a long time, uh, uh...
159
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,845
Say the word "ago."
160
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Go ahead.
161
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,977
I want you to.
162
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:02,982
Um... I'll make it as safe as I can.
163
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,776
Don't knock yourself out, Phil.
164
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,653
Okay, everyone, come on.
165
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:10,073
We have four days to
make magic happen here.
166
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,991
Places, everybody.
167
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,162
Places.
168
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,140
Okay, people, to review...
169
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:39,978
Every time a military jet flies over,
170
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,648
I want everything on
this stage to shake.
171
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,859
Shake! You got it. Everything.
172
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:49,029
- Yes, ma'am.
- Now, on the third flyover,
173
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,906
that is the cue for Michael's monologue.
174
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,867
If he can manage to hit his mark.
175
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,910
Is that big enough? Can you see it?
176
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:59,664
Okay. Now, Bill.
177
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,709
Bill, I would like to
run through my monologue
178
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:05,462
all the way till the end
till the trapdoor fall.
179
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,047
It's Phil.
180
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,799
Yeah, we're ready! Everything's good!
181
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:13,303
It was cold in Pensacola that winter.
182
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:15,555
Unnatural cold.
183
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:20,310
Frost that comes too
soon and stays too long.
184
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,020
Maybe forever.
185
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,357
The mist rises up and...
186
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,649
Don't move!
187
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:34,032
The mist rises up and covers your toes.
188
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,325
Then you waste.
189
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:39,788
The waves.
190
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:43,708
They want to meet the clouds.
191
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,836
The mother and child reaching out...
192
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,797
... for each other...
193
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:52,467
Oh, goddamn you!
194
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:55,428
- What the hell... !
- Hey, Kathleen.
195
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,231
Why don't you grab me some
extra thousand island dressing
196
00:09:58,272 --> 00:09:59,391
while you're back there.
197
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,850
Oh!
198
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:03,353
- Son of a bitch!
- Mats work.
199
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,816
- Hey.
- What?
200
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,443
I almost broke my goddamn neck!
201
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,446
- I'm done. I'm out. I quit.
- Good.
202
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,281
You walk out now, you're on the hook
203
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:18,284
for a $200,000 kill fee.
204
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,954
So maybe you want to talk
to your wife about it first.
205
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,789
The one who pays your allowance.
206
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,874
It's worth every penny!
207
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,918
You know, I'm not so sure,
208
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,628
because I think if she knew
209
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:31,673
about all your dalliances,
maybe not so much.
210
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:34,634
All right. You want some
mutually-assured destruction?
211
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:35,969
- Yeah.
- I got you, baby.
212
00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:38,138
- Bring it.
- Because I'm working on my memoirs,
213
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,432
and I got a whole chapter about...
214
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,142
... Acapulco.
215
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,936
You signed an NDA.
216
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:48,732
Yeah, well, now I got NFs to G.
217
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,233
All right, I'll do your damn play,
218
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,278
but I tell you this... the
doomsday clock is ticking.
219
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,822
And when the curtains
drop on this play tonight,
220
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,074
you can kiss your career goodbye.
221
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,201
You might want to check your prenup.
222
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,704
Because tomorrow,
223
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:05,582
Ava is getting a little info in the mail
224
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:08,710
about Chyna with a "Y."
225
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,296
I'm not bluffing.
226
00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:13,047
I know.
227
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,924
You're not a good enough actor.
228
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,878
Okay. Five minutes to
call, people. Five minutes.
229
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,296
- Found it.
- Thank you.
230
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:56,299
I got you a seat right
up front so I can see you.
231
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,467
Lucky me.
232
00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,886
Break a leg.
233
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,098
Ava. Ava darling.
234
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,141
I just wanted to thank you.
235
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,309
Sorry?
236
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:09,020
Well, I know that you convinced Michael
237
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,731
to do the play with me, and...
238
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,317
I just... thank you.
239
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,236
Oh, Kathleen. Oh.
240
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:19,280
No, see, I knew that
working with you would be
241
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:22,701
such a fucking nightmare
that it would kill off
242
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,661
Michael's silly little acting bug
243
00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:27,330
once and for all, and voilà.
244
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,833
So, thank you.
245
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,126
Psycho.
246
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,968
That bitch's teeth don't even match.
247
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:42,512
The fuck is going on here?
248
00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:43,847
- Break a leg, Michael.
- Oh!
249
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,932
Better not let Kathleen
catch you with those.
250
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,183
What is she going to do, fire me?
251
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,310
A man can dream.
252
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,522
Brrrr!
253
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:10,999
Tomcat?
254
00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:13,626
No, that's a Phantom.
255
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,546
Don't know why they bother.
256
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:20,050
They say our boys will
be home by Christmas.
257
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:22,010
What are you afraid of?
258
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:24,012
What will become of her?
259
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,057
I'm afraid that, that she has
260
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:30,894
too much of both of us inside her.
261
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:34,689
I'm afraid that she
has a gunmetal heart.
262
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,440
Like you.
263
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:45,325
Summer felt like
winter felt like spring.
264
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,118
Fucking hack!
265
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,579
Pathetic excuse for a man.
266
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,790
You ball-busting harpy.
267
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,917
Ow. Ouch. Ouch.
268
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:58,797
Goddamn son of a fucking piece of shit.
269
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,508
You washed-up
has-been.
270
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,052
You pathetic preening prick!
271
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,888
You are such a failure.
272
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,474
You think you're an
actress? You're a joke.
273
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:13,520
A lying, philandering failure.
274
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,939
The whole crew used to laugh at you.
275
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,941
Actress? More like hacktress.
276
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,860
You impotent baby.
277
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:24,364
How the fuck did I put up
with you all these years?
278
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,286
You shriveled prune. Ah, ah!
279
00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:33,957
Not as shriveled as
your tiny little dick!
280
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,208
Asshole.
281
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,673
You vain, backstabbing hag.
282
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,388
What kind of god!
283
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:50,348
Bobby.
284
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,185
Bobby, I want my heart to soar.
285
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,313
I will dance on your grave.
286
00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:59,357
I'll piss on your grave.
287
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:09,826
It feels like a storm is brewin'.
288
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,078
Did you close the windows, sweetheart?
289
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:20,587
Oh baby. I saw the Crawford
boy down the supermarket today.
290
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:25,091
He works at the base now.
291
00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:32,849
- Stop it, Mama.
- Stop what?
292
00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,559
Stop it! Just stop thinking
293
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,020
that any man would ever want me.
294
00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:40,273
Oh, no, I didn't say
that about your foot.
295
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,484
- No!
- Oh no.
296
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:46,654
They say that there are two
types of men in Pensacola:
297
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:50,116
pilots, and the men who
keep 'em up in the air.
298
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:54,371
And if you forget, they'll remind you.
299
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:57,207
Some folks say that that's
why they fly their jets so low.
300
00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,668
Make us spill our morning coffee.
301
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:04,005
Always looking up at the skies
302
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,423
in fear.
303
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,134
Just to keep us in our place.
304
00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,059
Look out!
305
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,563
Michael!
306
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:21,731
Ava.
307
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,566
Shit.
308
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,824
Ava! Ava!
309
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,787
Oh, my God!
310
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,540
Oh no!
311
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,963
I think we've got everything we need.
312
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,841
And again, I'm so sorry for your loss.
313
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:48,925
Thank you.
314
00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:51,177
Oh, I'll give you guys some privacy.
315
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,596
I just want you to know
that "Spooky and the Cop"
316
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,807
made me choose a career
in law enforcement.
317
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:58,685
Thank you. I can't tell you
how many times I've heard that.
318
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:15,869
That was the performance of a lifetime.
319
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,246
You did it, darling.
320
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,457
We did it.
321
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:21,583
We did it.
322
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:32,010
Come on, you threw a tip at a customer.
323
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,136
You know what, it was a dime.
324
00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:34,387
And you ate someone's bacon.
325
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:35,972
They were ignoring me.
326
00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:38,516
You are the worst
waitress I've ever had.
327
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,977
And I ran a Cracker
Barrel in the Green Zone.
328
00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:42,645
That last part was unnecessary.
329
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,647
But thank you for your service.
330
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,608
Okay. God.
331
00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:55,200
Well, as firings go,
332
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,659
hardly my best work.
333
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:59,245
Not bad for a matinée.
334
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:00,538
You happen to know anyplace else
335
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,290
that's looking for a subpar waitress
336
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:05,585
that doesn't require
paperwork or references?
337
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:09,381
Well, actually, half hours, good tips.
338
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,841
Mm, no benefits.
339
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:13,510
Seasonal work, so it pays cash.
340
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:16,471
I can put in a good word
for you if you're interested.
341
00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:18,932
Well, that actually
sounds pretty perfect.
342
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:19,974
What's the catch?
343
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,019
- ♪ Philadelphia ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
344
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,354
- ♪ Am I helping ya? ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
345
00:18:24,396 --> 00:18:25,730
♪ Who's your daddy?
And by that, I mean ♪
346
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,607
- ♪ Founding Father?
- ♪ Franklin ♪
347
00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,150
- ♪ Who? Ben Franklin ♪
- ♪ You ♪
348
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:30,443
♪ It's no surprise ♪
349
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,237
♪ I'm healthy and wealthy and wise ♪
350
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,989
♪ I've been struck by lightning ♪
351
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,534
♪ Anyone can see ♪
352
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:40,245
♪ A great big storm
and a little old kite ♪
353
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,706
♪ Helped me find the key ♪
354
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,040
This is hell.
355
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:46,710
♪ I'm all about the Benjamin ♪
356
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:49,170
♪ Benjamin Franklin... ♪
357
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:03,435
Okay, people, to review...
358
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:07,355
Every time a military jet flies over,
359
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:10,900
I want everything on
this stage to shake.
360
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,570
Morning, Jer. Miss me?
361
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,947
Shh! I'm listening
to the tech rehearsal.
362
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,534
I'll take that as a yes. What is this...
363
00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,036
Bill! Bill!
364
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,705
... the big magilla they've
been working on all week.
365
00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:26,624
That's Kathleen Townsend
and Michael Graves
366
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,793
doing "Ghosts of Pensacola" here.
367
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,211
I'm losing my shit.
368
00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:31,796
Hey, hey. No, that's not food.
369
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,757
It's a prop. Prop food.
370
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,550
- Respect it.
- Well, this is, this is food.
371
00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:37,093
This is food. You're nuts.
372
00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:39,387
Listen up. No peanuts in anything.
373
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:42,098
The third banana onstage has an allergy.
374
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:44,017
It's our one-night-only
gala event.
375
00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:47,937
It's a sellout, and I
don't get halibut every day.
376
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:50,565
So I need everyone on their toes. Okay.
377
00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:09,292
Wait. Charlie. No!
378
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,013
Oh, goddamn you!
379
00:20:23,098 --> 00:20:25,392
What the hell?!
380
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,144
Hey, Kathleen.
381
00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:29,437
Why don't you grab me some extra
382
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:31,690
thousand island dressing
while you're back there?
383
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,108
What?
384
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,526
Son of a bitch!
385
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:35,985
Mats work!
386
00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:37,362
Bring me the Philistine.
387
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,491
Oh, please, God, no,
don't break another wig.
388
00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:50,166
- Hey.
- Now you listen to me.
389
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,544
When an actor is performing,
390
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:56,673
you don't sneeze, you don't breathe.
391
00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:59,509
You don't dump fucking ice
392
00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:02,053
in a fucking frozé dispenser.
393
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:05,473
Okay, listen, lady, I,
I, I, I really. I just...
394
00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:06,808
I'm just doing my job here.
395
00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:09,102
What, do you think people
come here for the food?
396
00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:10,770
Well, yeah. I mean, kind of.
397
00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:13,481
Uh... You know, I'm just a waitress.
398
00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:16,568
It's not really my fault that this
place came with a talking wall.
399
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:19,571
That stage is an altar
400
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,032
where we bare our souls
401
00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:24,617
in search of the truth.
402
00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:27,871
Now you will respect that, young lady,
403
00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:30,123
or you can hit the fucking bricks.
404
00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,418
The truth.
405
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:35,545
Wow. Uh, yeah, sorry.
406
00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:38,006
I just, I happen to know a
thing or two about the truth,
407
00:21:38,048 --> 00:21:39,215
so I'll tell you.
408
00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:41,092
You got Patrick Swayze, "Roadhouse."
409
00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:43,261
Jennifer Jason Leigh,
"Single White Female."
410
00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:45,638
Christian Slater, "True Romance."
411
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,432
Truth, truth, truth. Now, you.
412
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,392
Uh, well, I did happen to catch
413
00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:51,227
a few words through the rainstorm.
414
00:21:51,269 --> 00:21:54,272
And I'll tell you the truth,
I didn't believe a single word.
415
00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:57,859
In fact, I would say that
that's maybe the biggest batch
416
00:21:57,901 --> 00:21:59,736
of bullshit I've heard in my whole,
417
00:21:59,778 --> 00:22:01,446
yeah, whole entire life.
418
00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:04,616
Jesus.
419
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:07,452
I get it. I'll see myself out.
420
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:10,663
I haven't been spoken
to that way in 30 years.
421
00:22:12,791 --> 00:22:14,459
Uh-huh.
422
00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:16,711
- Does this mean I'm not fired.
- Fired?
423
00:22:16,753 --> 00:22:19,464
My God. What you're giving me is gold.
424
00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,049
It's fuel.
425
00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:25,637
I live off it. I use it.
426
00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,015
And you're lucky you
took those earbuds out
427
00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:32,852
because you're about to hear
the performance of a lifetime.
428
00:22:36,356 --> 00:22:37,524
I love your work.
429
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:40,443
Hey.
430
00:22:40,485 --> 00:22:41,485
Hey.
431
00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:44,823
You survived a face full
of Kathleen Townsend, kid.
432
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:48,785
Uh, I mean, you seem
like a normal guy, Phil.
433
00:22:48,827 --> 00:22:50,787
How are you putting up
with these theater people?
434
00:22:50,829 --> 00:22:54,624
Well, you got to love 'em,
and you got to understand 'em.
435
00:22:54,666 --> 00:22:57,627
I mean, what Kathleen said, she's right.
436
00:22:57,669 --> 00:23:00,755
What happens on that
stage is a kind of magic.
437
00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,799
And I get to see someone hit with it,
438
00:23:02,841 --> 00:23:06,428
truly transformed by it for
the first time every show.
439
00:23:06,469 --> 00:23:08,596
That's probably why I keep doing it.
440
00:23:08,638 --> 00:23:11,057
Well, you're a better man than me, Phil.
441
00:23:11,099 --> 00:23:14,978
Well, everything I said and, but also,
442
00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:16,146
Jack Daniels
443
00:23:16,187 --> 00:23:19,357
is my dramaturg.
444
00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:23,611
Now you see, this is the kind
of pep talk I can get behind.
445
00:23:23,653 --> 00:23:25,822
One night only, kid.
446
00:23:25,864 --> 00:23:27,907
After opening, this is all over.
447
00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:32,203
To opening night.
448
00:23:39,711 --> 00:23:41,004
Excuse me, darling.
449
00:23:41,046 --> 00:23:43,006
Can you get me absolutely shit-faced?
450
00:23:43,048 --> 00:23:45,508
Oh, you'll never see
the bottom of that glass.
451
00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:46,926
You mean like you?
452
00:23:49,471 --> 00:23:53,183
Summer felt like winter
453
00:23:53,224 --> 00:23:54,351
felt like spring.
454
00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:55,935
Makes you miss the hip-hop Ben Franklin.
455
00:23:55,977 --> 00:23:57,937
I didn't know what the
seasons felt like...
456
00:23:57,979 --> 00:24:00,690
... you washed-up
has-been.
457
00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:02,859
You pathetic, preening prick!
458
00:24:02,901 --> 00:24:04,361
Glad someone's riveted.
459
00:24:04,402 --> 00:24:06,071
... actress. You're a joke.
460
00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:07,697
Kathleen and Michael
are fighting backstage,
461
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:09,074
and they forgot to turn off their mics.
462
00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:10,367
... failure.
463
00:24:10,408 --> 00:24:12,243
The whole crew used to laugh at you.
464
00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:14,871
- You weren't kidding.
- Actress? More like hacktress.
465
00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:17,707
Hold on, if we can hear this,
466
00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:19,876
you realize who else can hear it, right?
467
00:24:21,252 --> 00:24:25,173
And I always ask myself, why, God, why?
468
00:24:25,215 --> 00:24:28,176
- But Bobby always made me feel...
- Prune!
469
00:24:28,218 --> 00:24:31,471
Not as shriveled as
your tiny little dick!
470
00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:33,098
Asshole!
471
00:24:33,139 --> 00:24:35,392
You vain, backstabbing hag.
472
00:24:35,433 --> 00:24:38,228
Who's talking? Is that the ghost?
473
00:24:38,269 --> 00:24:40,188
That's all I've ever wanted.
474
00:24:45,568 --> 00:24:49,906
Oh. Feels like a storm is brewin'.
475
00:24:49,948 --> 00:24:54,119
I saw the Crawford boy
down the supermarket today.
476
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,203
He asked about you.
477
00:24:55,245 --> 00:24:56,996
- Thanks.
- Oh, stop it, Mama!
478
00:24:57,038 --> 00:25:00,250
Stop thinking that any
man would ever want me.
479
00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:02,252
- Kill me.
- Oh!
480
00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:04,963
There are two kinds
of men in Pensacola...
481
00:25:05,005 --> 00:25:08,883
pilots, and the men who
keep 'em up in the air.
482
00:25:08,925 --> 00:25:11,219
And if you forget, they'll remind you.
483
00:25:11,261 --> 00:25:12,303
Watch Kathleen.
484
00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:13,430
Some folks say that's why...
485
00:25:13,471 --> 00:25:14,889
She's so present.
486
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,100
Look at her.
487
00:25:17,142 --> 00:25:20,103
Fear and anticipation in her eyes.
488
00:25:21,479 --> 00:25:22,856
Yeah, you're right.
489
00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:24,774
This is the first time
I've really believed her.
490
00:25:27,027 --> 00:25:28,903
Look out!
491
00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:30,780
Ava!
492
00:25:30,822 --> 00:25:32,282
- Michael!
- Oh!
493
00:25:32,323 --> 00:25:35,702
Ava!
494
00:25:41,833 --> 00:25:44,753
Ava! Ava!
495
00:25:44,794 --> 00:25:47,172
Oh, my God!
496
00:25:51,885 --> 00:25:54,637
I mean, look, it's not your fault.
497
00:25:54,679 --> 00:25:57,474
A woman fell to her death on my stage.
498
00:25:57,515 --> 00:25:58,641
How is it not my fault?
499
00:25:58,683 --> 00:26:01,019
Because it was a crazy accident, okay?
500
00:26:01,061 --> 00:26:02,979
I mean, just think about all the things
501
00:26:03,021 --> 00:26:04,898
that had to go wrong.
502
00:26:04,939 --> 00:26:07,609
The light fell. Michael
had a heart attack.
503
00:26:07,650 --> 00:26:09,486
His wife ran up with his pills
504
00:26:09,527 --> 00:26:13,156
after I poured her a bottle
of the good stuff, by the way.
505
00:26:13,198 --> 00:26:15,950
If any one of those
things hadn't happened,
506
00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:17,786
you and me will be
outside by the dumpsters
507
00:26:17,827 --> 00:26:20,372
ranking Christopher
Nolan movies right now.
508
00:26:20,413 --> 00:26:22,624
No, as soon as the curtain goes up,
509
00:26:22,665 --> 00:26:24,459
it's all my responsibility.
510
00:26:25,669 --> 00:26:27,796
I guess I'm lucky.
511
00:26:27,837 --> 00:26:29,506
All the cops had to
do is check my thermos,
512
00:26:29,547 --> 00:26:31,257
and I'd be sitting in a cell.
513
00:26:33,009 --> 00:26:35,637
Come on. I know you.
514
00:26:35,679 --> 00:26:37,639
It was just a little Irish coffee
515
00:26:37,681 --> 00:26:38,932
to take the edge off, right?
516
00:26:38,973 --> 00:26:40,350
Yeah, that's what I thought.
517
00:26:41,518 --> 00:26:43,061
Maybe I'm a lightweight now.
518
00:26:43,103 --> 00:26:46,815
I know I checked that
bolt and those pads.
519
00:26:46,856 --> 00:26:49,234
It's the last thing I remember before...
520
00:26:52,195 --> 00:26:53,655
Oh God.
521
00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:55,824
Oh God.
522
00:26:55,865 --> 00:26:57,200
Oh, my God.
523
00:26:57,242 --> 00:26:59,119
Oh, my God.
524
00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:02,247
Oh, my God.
525
00:27:04,749 --> 00:27:07,335
Jesus. Should you be leaving those out?
526
00:27:07,377 --> 00:27:09,170
Baby, I'm an actress.
527
00:27:09,212 --> 00:27:12,048
If I didn't have a bottle of
Ambien in my dressing room,
528
00:27:12,090 --> 00:27:13,967
people would ask questions.
529
00:27:14,009 --> 00:27:15,427
Yeah, it's too bad about Phil.
530
00:27:15,468 --> 00:27:18,346
It's not like he's in jail or anything.
531
00:27:18,388 --> 00:27:21,349
He just went a little overboard.
532
00:27:21,391 --> 00:27:24,269
Wow. You really missed your
window for playing a femme fatale.
533
00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:26,855
Now, I can remind the whole world
534
00:27:26,896 --> 00:27:29,566
what Kathleen Townsend can do.
535
00:27:29,607 --> 00:27:32,819
And the world is watching.
536
00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:34,821
What are you talking about?
537
00:27:34,863 --> 00:27:37,741
We are trending, baby.
538
00:27:37,782 --> 00:27:38,908
Right now,
539
00:27:38,950 --> 00:27:41,786
people are watching us.
540
00:27:41,828 --> 00:27:44,289
They are really watching.
541
00:27:45,915 --> 00:27:50,086
And I never got to deliver my monologue.
542
00:27:50,795 --> 00:27:52,839
- No.
- Yes.
543
00:27:52,881 --> 00:27:55,759
One last performance. Tonight.
544
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,427
- No.
- For Ava.
545
00:27:57,469 --> 00:27:58,553
- No.
- For Ava.
546
00:27:58,595 --> 00:27:59,804
Fuck that.
547
00:27:59,846 --> 00:28:02,474
What happened to we hide
out overseas for a year
548
00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:05,143
and then reemerge confessing our love.
549
00:28:05,185 --> 00:28:06,728
You wrote the script, baby.
550
00:28:06,770 --> 00:28:08,313
I know. I wrote it.
551
00:28:08,355 --> 00:28:09,731
- And now I'm flipping it.
- No.
552
00:28:09,773 --> 00:28:11,816
I'm flipping the script entirely.
553
00:28:11,858 --> 00:28:16,780
Yes. Your tragedy is
what drew us together.
554
00:28:16,821 --> 00:28:18,406
It's risky.
555
00:28:18,448 --> 00:28:20,575
Oh, baby...
556
00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:24,537
don't you want to be together right now?
557
00:28:24,579 --> 00:28:26,456
- Yes.
- Hmm?
558
00:28:26,498 --> 00:28:29,209
Don't you think we should start spending
559
00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:31,795
some of that She Trade money.
560
00:28:31,836 --> 00:28:33,963
- Oh yes.
- Hmm?
561
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:39,177
The spotlight's ours, baby.
562
00:28:39,219 --> 00:28:41,554
Let's get it while it's hot.
563
00:28:53,650 --> 00:28:54,818
So let me get this straight,
564
00:28:54,859 --> 00:28:57,821
a woman dies right in our faces
565
00:28:57,862 --> 00:28:59,989
and instead of giving
us grief counseling,
566
00:29:00,031 --> 00:29:01,783
we have to work.
567
00:29:01,825 --> 00:29:03,618
Theater people are so strong.
568
00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:06,830
I don't know, it just, it,
it doesn't make any sense.
569
00:29:06,871 --> 00:29:09,749
I mean, the dude had a coronary,
570
00:29:09,791 --> 00:29:11,418
and then his wife died.
571
00:29:11,459 --> 00:29:14,713
Like, what doctor signed off on this?
572
00:29:14,754 --> 00:29:16,381
Find a seat for Sheriff Ed.
573
00:29:16,423 --> 00:29:19,259
He's some crazy "Spooky
and the Cop" fan.
574
00:29:19,300 --> 00:29:21,261
It's a sellout. If he
doesn't have a ticket...
575
00:29:21,302 --> 00:29:22,887
Give the lawman what he wants.
576
00:29:22,929 --> 00:29:25,140
He just dealt with the
richest woman in Connecticut
577
00:29:25,181 --> 00:29:27,308
getting killed by a drunk stagehand.
578
00:29:27,350 --> 00:29:28,977
Oh, come on. Bullshit.
579
00:29:29,019 --> 00:29:30,353
Thin ice.
580
00:29:30,395 --> 00:29:32,772
Get out there and keep your job.
581
00:29:42,532 --> 00:29:43,742
What do you want?
582
00:29:43,783 --> 00:29:45,368
Oh, don't worry about Fosse.
583
00:29:45,410 --> 00:29:47,704
He's very well-behaved today.
584
00:29:51,875 --> 00:29:53,710
So I thought it was weird
585
00:29:53,752 --> 00:29:56,171
that Michael was going over
his dialogue for the show
586
00:29:56,212 --> 00:29:59,007
since he didn't miss a
single line in rehearsal.
587
00:29:59,049 --> 00:30:03,011
So I checked in his coat
pocket and lo and behold,
588
00:30:03,053 --> 00:30:07,015
this is not dialogue from
"Ghosts of Pensacola."
589
00:30:07,057 --> 00:30:09,726
This is the fight
that the two of you had
590
00:30:09,768 --> 00:30:12,020
during my monologue.
591
00:30:12,062 --> 00:30:15,565
The fight that you used
to cover up Ava's murder.
592
00:30:15,607 --> 00:30:19,194
Sweetheart, Michael
and I are workshopping
593
00:30:19,235 --> 00:30:22,530
a new play by a brilliant new writer,
594
00:30:22,572 --> 00:30:24,866
and we're running lines backstage.
595
00:30:24,908 --> 00:30:27,619
That might fly if I had seen
596
00:30:27,660 --> 00:30:29,454
the two of you backstage together.
597
00:30:29,496 --> 00:30:31,581
But I didn't. You were gone.
598
00:30:31,623 --> 00:30:34,042
And my monologue gave
you just enough time
599
00:30:34,084 --> 00:30:35,669
to sabotage the light and the trapdoor.
600
00:30:35,710 --> 00:30:37,337
So you did it.
601
00:30:37,379 --> 00:30:39,506
You watch too much "Dateline."
602
00:30:39,547 --> 00:30:41,299
No, but I have been watching
603
00:30:41,341 --> 00:30:43,218
a heck of a lot of "Spooky and the Cop."
604
00:30:43,259 --> 00:30:45,345
And this exact thing happens
605
00:30:45,387 --> 00:30:49,516
in season six, episode
11, "Exit Stage Death."
606
00:30:49,557 --> 00:30:52,852
You lazy assholes didn't even
bother to change the dialogue.
607
00:30:54,229 --> 00:30:58,108
So, um... here's my price.
608
00:30:58,149 --> 00:31:01,403
And here is my bank info.
609
00:31:04,698 --> 00:31:07,575
So if that money is not in my account
610
00:31:07,617 --> 00:31:09,744
by the end of the play tonight,
611
00:31:10,453 --> 00:31:12,247
I'm going to the police.
612
00:31:14,958 --> 00:31:17,377
Oh, and one last thing.
613
00:31:17,419 --> 00:31:19,504
I killed that fucking monologue, okay?
614
00:31:19,546 --> 00:31:22,382
So don't you ever upstage me again.
615
00:31:23,133 --> 00:31:24,551
Fucking boomers.
616
00:31:27,971 --> 00:31:30,181
Okay, what are we going to do?
617
00:31:31,099 --> 00:31:34,394
We have to pay. We have no choice.
618
00:31:47,032 --> 00:31:49,117
Just delivering the prop food.
619
00:31:49,159 --> 00:31:50,869
Oh, I belong here.
620
00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:52,704
Yeah. Okay, sir, prop food.
621
00:31:52,746 --> 00:31:54,122
Jesus.
622
00:31:54,164 --> 00:31:55,832
Ten minutes to curtain.
623
00:31:55,874 --> 00:31:57,459
Ten minutes to curtain.
624
00:31:59,836 --> 00:32:01,296
Phil's preshow checklist.
625
00:32:01,338 --> 00:32:02,922
Oh shit. I got to do the checklist.
626
00:32:02,964 --> 00:32:04,341
Wow.
627
00:32:04,382 --> 00:32:06,801
He ticked off the flappy
door checkbox before the show.
628
00:32:06,843 --> 00:32:08,178
- It's here.
- So?
629
00:32:08,219 --> 00:32:10,555
If he secured the flappy door,
630
00:32:10,597 --> 00:32:12,557
that means that someone unsecured it.
631
00:32:12,599 --> 00:32:13,933
That means it wasn't Phil's fault
632
00:32:13,975 --> 00:32:15,101
and it wasn't an accident.
633
00:32:15,143 --> 00:32:17,479
Is anyone else besides Kathleen
634
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,522
supposed to go through that flappy door?
635
00:32:19,564 --> 00:32:22,359
Her big trapdoor moment?
Are you kidding me?
636
00:32:23,443 --> 00:32:25,904
That means that Kathleen was the target.
637
00:32:25,945 --> 00:32:27,155
I gotta text Phil.
638
00:32:27,197 --> 00:32:28,490
Oh, my God.
639
00:32:28,531 --> 00:32:30,241
- Hey.
- It's Charlie.
640
00:32:30,283 --> 00:32:31,826
It wasn't your fault.
641
00:32:31,868 --> 00:32:34,788
It was sabotage. S-A-B-O-O...
642
00:32:34,829 --> 00:32:36,498
- That doesn't seem right.
- The show is about to start.
643
00:32:36,539 --> 00:32:38,208
Oh, my God, dude, dude,
we just figured out
644
00:32:38,249 --> 00:32:39,751
that someone is trying to kill Kathleen.
645
00:32:39,793 --> 00:32:42,003
Now you're going to give them
another whack at the piñata.
646
00:32:42,045 --> 00:32:43,713
But the show is about to start!
647
00:32:46,716 --> 00:32:48,718
Oh, if it isn't my fiercest critic.
648
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:52,347
Are you here to give me some
notes before my swan song?
649
00:32:52,389 --> 00:32:54,349
It wasn't Phil's fault.
650
00:32:54,391 --> 00:32:55,517
He was framed.
651
00:32:57,060 --> 00:32:58,687
So I think someone drugged him
652
00:32:58,728 --> 00:33:00,522
and futzed with the floor door.
653
00:33:00,563 --> 00:33:02,399
I mean, I don't know why,
654
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:03,983
but I think you were the target.
655
00:33:04,025 --> 00:33:05,610
Me?
656
00:33:05,652 --> 00:33:08,405
You're the only one who was
supposed to stand on it, so...
657
00:33:09,197 --> 00:33:11,408
I walk across it many times
658
00:33:11,449 --> 00:33:13,159
and did not fall through.
659
00:33:13,201 --> 00:33:15,704
My blocking is very vigorous.
660
00:33:17,038 --> 00:33:18,289
- Okay, uh...
- Look,
661
00:33:18,331 --> 00:33:20,750
things happen in the
theater all the time.
662
00:33:20,792 --> 00:33:22,544
Entire sets collapse.
663
00:33:22,585 --> 00:33:24,754
Live wires get exposed,
664
00:33:24,796 --> 00:33:26,965
they electrocute actors.
665
00:33:27,007 --> 00:33:28,675
But we persevere.
666
00:33:28,717 --> 00:33:31,177
Hey, I-I'm so sorry. I don't
think you're hearing me.
667
00:33:31,219 --> 00:33:32,887
Someone's trying to kill you.
668
00:33:32,929 --> 00:33:35,390
I'm not going to let
you go back out there.
669
00:33:40,145 --> 00:33:41,896
I'm already on.
670
00:33:43,148 --> 00:33:44,607
Now get out of my room.
671
00:33:45,233 --> 00:33:46,401
Wardrobe.
672
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,918
Tomcat?
673
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,421
No, that's a Phantom.
674
00:34:07,672 --> 00:34:09,424
I don't know why they bother.
675
00:34:09,466 --> 00:34:11,926
They say our boys will
be home by Christmas.
676
00:34:11,968 --> 00:34:13,178
Cue 38.
677
00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:15,055
Listen, is that Phil?
678
00:34:15,096 --> 00:34:16,389
Give me that.
679
00:34:16,431 --> 00:34:17,766
- Phil, Phil.
- Hey.
680
00:34:17,807 --> 00:34:19,809
Listen, I, I, I don't get it.
681
00:34:19,851 --> 00:34:21,728
I mean, the bolt must have been in place
682
00:34:21,770 --> 00:34:23,897
until Ava walked across it.
683
00:34:23,938 --> 00:34:25,565
Did you see anybody else down there?
684
00:34:25,566 --> 00:34:26,566
Nobody.
685
00:34:26,566 --> 00:34:27,776
Look, Charlie, I appreciate
686
00:34:27,817 --> 00:34:29,819
what you're trying to
do, but just let it go.
687
00:34:29,861 --> 00:34:31,029
No can do, Phil.
688
00:34:31,071 --> 00:34:32,697
I'm like De Niro at
the end of "Heat," man.
689
00:34:32,739 --> 00:34:34,240
So stay tuned.
690
00:34:36,409 --> 00:34:38,203
I need to see the video
of last night's show.
691
00:34:38,244 --> 00:34:41,206
Well, be my guest.
Take the curse off me.
692
00:34:41,247 --> 00:34:42,832
It's like the video from "The Ring,"
693
00:34:42,874 --> 00:34:44,376
but with Phil gone,
I'm the stage manager
694
00:34:44,417 --> 00:34:46,419
and I have nothing to
go on except this video
695
00:34:46,461 --> 00:34:48,088
and Phil's notes from last night.
696
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,717
Hey, hey, hey.
697
00:34:52,759 --> 00:34:53,927
What is that?
698
00:34:54,636 --> 00:34:55,804
Is that smoke?
699
00:34:55,845 --> 00:34:57,389
Looks like dry ice.
700
00:34:58,765 --> 00:35:01,267
Where do you keep this, uh, dry ice?
701
00:35:08,650 --> 00:35:10,402
Ow! Ow! Ow!
702
00:35:10,443 --> 00:35:11,736
You okay?
703
00:35:11,778 --> 00:35:15,240
Jesus. I-I got to talk to Kathleen.
704
00:35:15,281 --> 00:35:17,909
Hey, wait. Stop!
705
00:35:17,951 --> 00:35:20,912
See that? It's a sight line.
706
00:35:20,954 --> 00:35:23,748
You can't cross it, you're in the play.
707
00:35:23,790 --> 00:35:27,043
Bobby was my unexpected gift.
708
00:35:27,836 --> 00:35:29,421
Shameful as it was,
709
00:35:30,547 --> 00:35:32,966
I loved him so.
710
00:35:33,008 --> 00:35:36,428
He liked the stars that moved fast,
711
00:35:36,469 --> 00:35:38,138
like his aircraft.
712
00:35:38,179 --> 00:35:39,806
Hey, I figured it out.
713
00:35:39,848 --> 00:35:41,266
The bolt was dry ice.
714
00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:43,184
Excuse me. That means
that someone definitely...
715
00:35:43,226 --> 00:35:45,603
The crickets are certainly very active.
716
00:35:45,645 --> 00:35:47,605
... off! Off the stage.
717
00:35:47,647 --> 00:35:49,441
Oh, these crickets are wild.
718
00:35:49,482 --> 00:35:50,482
Off the stage.
719
00:35:50,483 --> 00:35:51,901
They need to stop, the crickets.
720
00:35:51,943 --> 00:35:53,820
- Get off the stage.
- You need to stop now.
721
00:35:53,820 --> 00:35:55,447
You need to get off the stage.
722
00:35:55,488 --> 00:35:57,032
- Um, Garrett...
- Jesus!
723
00:35:57,073 --> 00:36:00,201
... what are you doing smoking
that filthy thing in the house.
724
00:36:00,243 --> 00:36:03,204
You'll give Daisy pleurisy
if you don't watch out.
725
00:36:03,246 --> 00:36:04,581
Mother, I smoke.
726
00:36:04,622 --> 00:36:06,124
Does that shock you?
727
00:36:06,166 --> 00:36:09,169
That's right. I smoke cigarettes.
728
00:36:09,210 --> 00:36:11,379
Your daughter, your little girl.
729
00:36:11,421 --> 00:36:13,298
- Thank God.
- It suits me. It calms my spirit...
730
00:36:13,340 --> 00:36:15,300
- Hey!
- ... and it eases my mind.
731
00:36:15,342 --> 00:36:17,761
Uh, yeah, well, looks like we got us
732
00:36:17,802 --> 00:36:20,305
a real smoker, Savannah.
733
00:36:20,347 --> 00:36:22,766
Good for you, Daisy.
Hey, what are you doing?
734
00:36:22,807 --> 00:36:25,018
I myself enjoy smoking
735
00:36:25,060 --> 00:36:26,603
by the window over here.
736
00:36:26,644 --> 00:36:29,814
Let me go. Let me go!
737
00:36:29,856 --> 00:36:32,108
Smoke is going to be
the death of all of us.
738
00:36:33,193 --> 00:36:34,944
I know what let's do...
739
00:36:34,986 --> 00:36:37,405
let's bake something together.
740
00:36:37,447 --> 00:36:38,782
A key lime pie.
741
00:36:38,823 --> 00:36:40,325
Like when you were a little girl.
742
00:36:40,367 --> 00:36:42,619
I'm not a little girl anymore, Mama.
743
00:36:42,660 --> 00:36:43,828
It was Michael!
744
00:36:43,870 --> 00:36:46,414
His fingers are burned from the dry ice
745
00:36:46,456 --> 00:36:48,041
he used to rig the floor.
746
00:36:48,083 --> 00:36:50,502
There's supposed to be
milk in here somewhere.
747
00:36:50,543 --> 00:36:52,003
Oh, there.
748
00:36:52,045 --> 00:36:55,131
Michael was on stage the entire time.
749
00:36:55,173 --> 00:36:57,842
No, the chubby foot monologue,
that was three minutes.
750
00:36:57,884 --> 00:37:00,178
- He could have...
- Our argument.
751
00:37:00,220 --> 00:37:02,347
Everyone heard it. You heard it.
752
00:37:02,389 --> 00:37:04,933
Now, what the fuck are
you even talking about?
753
00:37:04,974 --> 00:37:07,185
You almost caught the bus, lady.
754
00:37:07,227 --> 00:37:09,229
That falling light saved your life.
755
00:37:09,270 --> 00:37:12,107
... if I were a refrigerator,
would you pay attention to me?
756
00:37:12,148 --> 00:37:15,276
Exactly. And do you think he
rigged the light to kill himself?
757
00:37:15,318 --> 00:37:16,528
The light?
758
00:37:16,569 --> 00:37:19,197
... watching life like his old man!
759
00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:21,950
Why did I push Bobby? Why?
760
00:37:21,991 --> 00:37:25,453
You only told him to aim high.
761
00:37:25,495 --> 00:37:28,707
Isn't that what we all
want for our children?
762
00:37:28,748 --> 00:37:30,250
Oh.
763
00:37:30,291 --> 00:37:32,877
But when I saw him in those dress blues.
764
00:37:32,919 --> 00:37:37,007
Oh, that boy was born to fly.
765
00:37:37,048 --> 00:37:39,509
Was he happy, our son?
766
00:37:39,551 --> 00:37:41,136
Was he happy?
767
00:37:41,177 --> 00:37:44,055
Oh, baby, you and I both know that
768
00:37:44,097 --> 00:37:45,724
Bobby was never happy
769
00:37:45,765 --> 00:37:49,394
other than when he was up
there flying with the birds...
770
00:37:49,436 --> 00:37:53,273
If that matters. If anything matters.
771
00:37:54,441 --> 00:37:55,608
I love you.
772
00:37:57,444 --> 00:37:58,695
That matters.
773
00:37:59,571 --> 00:38:00,572
The truth.
774
00:38:01,698 --> 00:38:03,116
I love you, too.
775
00:38:16,796 --> 00:38:18,465
Hey, hey, chubby foot.
776
00:38:18,506 --> 00:38:20,592
Uh, we've got a situation here.
777
00:38:20,633 --> 00:38:22,927
Who are you? Did you just
come down from the lights?
778
00:38:22,969 --> 00:38:24,179
It doesn't matter. So I thought
779
00:38:24,220 --> 00:38:25,972
that Michael was
trying to kill Kathleen,
780
00:38:26,014 --> 00:38:27,265
but I was wrong.
781
00:38:27,307 --> 00:38:30,435
It was his wife, and
they were in it together.
782
00:38:30,477 --> 00:38:32,228
Michael and Kathleen.
783
00:38:32,270 --> 00:38:34,439
You see, they don't hate each other.
784
00:38:34,481 --> 00:38:36,024
- They love each other.
- Why are you telling me this?
785
00:38:36,066 --> 00:38:38,109
- I'm about to go on.
- Oh, because...
786
00:38:38,151 --> 00:38:39,694
Excuse me. You can prove it.
787
00:38:39,736 --> 00:38:43,948
You see, it was during
your foot club speech thing.
788
00:38:43,990 --> 00:38:46,034
He was futzing with the flappy door,
789
00:38:46,076 --> 00:38:49,079
and she, she was messing with the light.
790
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,789
What was it? Three minutes, right?
791
00:38:50,830 --> 00:38:54,209
Yes. But I saw the two of
them backstage together,
792
00:38:54,250 --> 00:38:55,835
so they couldn't possibly
have done it, okay.
793
00:38:55,877 --> 00:38:58,463
So... will you leave me
alone. I have to go on.
794
00:38:58,505 --> 00:38:59,714
Wait, why are you lying?
795
00:38:59,756 --> 00:39:01,091
Wait, are you in love with him too?
796
00:39:01,132 --> 00:39:03,218
Will you please leave me alone?
797
00:39:03,259 --> 00:39:04,928
Are you a thruple?
798
00:39:04,969 --> 00:39:06,763
- Shit.
- Mama.
799
00:39:06,805 --> 00:39:09,849
Do you think Billy
Crawford will come calling?
800
00:39:09,891 --> 00:39:13,520
Oh, I could call his mother
and ask her, couldn't I?
801
00:39:18,942 --> 00:39:22,028
No, never mind, Mama.
Forget I mentioned it.
802
00:39:22,070 --> 00:39:23,279
I will.
803
00:39:24,614 --> 00:39:27,450
Do you think there could
be a sign or somethin'?
804
00:39:38,253 --> 00:39:40,547
Fucking actors, man.
805
00:39:43,216 --> 00:39:46,344
Chubby foot. Very hardcore.
806
00:39:48,885 --> 00:39:51,012
Shhh.
807
00:39:51,054 --> 00:39:52,180
Quiet, quiet, hey!
808
00:39:52,222 --> 00:39:53,932
Who wants a yummy, yummy
809
00:39:53,973 --> 00:39:56,017
little peanut butter treat?
810
00:39:58,311 --> 00:39:59,687
Oh shit.
811
00:40:05,819 --> 00:40:07,445
Shit, shit, shit.
812
00:40:09,322 --> 00:40:11,616
Look, honey, I made you a little snack.
813
00:40:11,658 --> 00:40:12,659
Oh, Jesus.
814
00:40:12,700 --> 00:40:14,494
- Thank you, Mama.
- Oh shit.
815
00:40:15,787 --> 00:40:17,080
Hey.
816
00:40:17,122 --> 00:40:18,415
Who eats the prop?
817
00:40:18,456 --> 00:40:20,458
- Which actor eats the Chex Mix?
- Rebecca.
818
00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:22,836
No, they put peanut butter in
it. They're gonna kill again.
819
00:40:23,336 --> 00:40:24,462
Shit.
820
00:40:24,504 --> 00:40:26,172
I was so young.
821
00:40:26,214 --> 00:40:28,341
Florida State was
looking for a fullback.
822
00:40:28,383 --> 00:40:29,801
Coach was scouting me.
823
00:40:29,843 --> 00:40:32,137
You think I wanted to get married at 18?
824
00:40:32,178 --> 00:40:34,013
Do you think I did?
825
00:41:05,879 --> 00:41:07,338
Uh...
826
00:41:07,380 --> 00:41:10,759
I am, I am a ghost of Pensacola.
827
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:14,345
Uh, and you are not here to eat.
828
00:41:14,387 --> 00:41:18,391
You are here to talk
about your chubby foot
829
00:41:18,433 --> 00:41:21,352
and, uh, feelings.
830
00:41:21,394 --> 00:41:25,148
Do not let your mother
831
00:41:25,190 --> 00:41:27,567
poison your spirit...
832
00:41:29,444 --> 00:41:33,198
and drive you nuts.
833
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:36,409
And now I will return
834
00:41:36,451 --> 00:41:40,080
to the spirit realm of Pensacola.
835
00:41:41,206 --> 00:41:42,457
Okay.
836
00:41:42,499 --> 00:41:44,375
Goodbye!
837
00:41:46,753 --> 00:41:48,379
What, why are you looking at me?
838
00:41:48,421 --> 00:41:50,465
- What'd I do? What'd I say?
- Listen, Rebec...
839
00:41:50,507 --> 00:41:52,634
I mean, Daisy. Listen, Daisy.
840
00:41:52,675 --> 00:41:53,927
I had nothing to do with your mom...
841
00:41:53,968 --> 00:41:55,345
- Mama.
- What?
842
00:41:55,386 --> 00:41:58,765
Daddy. You already lost one child,
843
00:41:58,807 --> 00:42:01,142
and you almost lost another one.
844
00:42:02,268 --> 00:42:07,232
So now, the price of
my love has doubled,
845
00:42:07,273 --> 00:42:10,110
and I demand to see it immediately.
846
00:42:11,820 --> 00:42:13,738
Are you fucking kidding me? Immediately!
847
00:42:19,786 --> 00:42:24,249
Summer felt like winter...
848
00:42:24,290 --> 00:42:27,502
How could you do that
without talking to me first?
849
00:42:27,544 --> 00:42:29,671
What? Oh, yes.
850
00:42:33,049 --> 00:42:34,759
What were you thinking?
851
00:42:34,801 --> 00:42:37,262
Someone had to do it.
852
00:42:37,303 --> 00:42:39,264
You're insane.
853
00:42:39,305 --> 00:42:41,933
We could have paid her
off. This would all be over.
854
00:42:41,975 --> 00:42:43,893
Oh, don't be so naive.
855
00:42:43,935 --> 00:42:46,146
She would have just come back for more.
856
00:42:48,148 --> 00:42:51,776
Hey, Sheriff. Never
meet your heroes, right?
857
00:42:54,195 --> 00:42:56,739
You spend years planning
your wife's murder
858
00:42:56,781 --> 00:42:59,576
to get shafted by a fucking day player.
859
00:42:59,617 --> 00:43:01,536
I will shove that peanut butter
860
00:43:01,578 --> 00:43:05,290
down that Juilliard
bitch's throat if I have to.
861
00:43:05,331 --> 00:43:07,792
No. Okay, look, that's it.
862
00:43:07,834 --> 00:43:09,711
We're going to pay her off, all right.
863
00:43:09,753 --> 00:43:11,296
I'm going to call my business manager.
864
00:43:11,337 --> 00:43:13,465
He is going to have a fit.
865
00:43:13,506 --> 00:43:16,468
Michael, what the fuck is that?
866
00:43:16,509 --> 00:43:17,844
What?
867
00:43:18,970 --> 00:43:20,555
What in the hell?
868
00:43:23,516 --> 00:43:26,227
Oh... shit.
869
00:43:32,692 --> 00:43:34,611
We're fucked.
870
00:43:34,652 --> 00:43:36,613
They heard everything.
871
00:43:38,364 --> 00:43:39,866
What do I do now?
872
00:43:43,536 --> 00:43:44,871
We use it.
873
00:43:46,289 --> 00:43:47,791
Showtime, baby.
874
00:43:51,878 --> 00:43:54,672
I used to wait for
that parade every year.
875
00:43:55,340 --> 00:43:57,050
Independence Day.
876
00:43:58,426 --> 00:44:01,262
For who? From what?
877
00:44:01,304 --> 00:44:04,557
Bobby's real daddy went
down over the Sea of Japan.
878
00:44:05,642 --> 00:44:08,269
July 12th, 1952.
879
00:44:09,729 --> 00:44:11,314
An aviator.
880
00:44:12,732 --> 00:44:15,568
Why did you take Bobby?
881
00:44:15,610 --> 00:44:18,446
He was better than me in every way!
882
00:44:20,198 --> 00:44:23,701
It was cold in Pensacola that winter.
883
00:44:24,577 --> 00:44:26,746
Unnatural cold.
884
00:44:26,788 --> 00:44:29,541
Frost that comes too early
885
00:44:29,582 --> 00:44:32,043
means to stay too long,
886
00:44:32,085 --> 00:44:33,545
maybe forever.
887
00:44:33,586 --> 00:44:36,131
The mists rise up.
888
00:44:36,172 --> 00:44:39,759
They cover your ankles, then your waist.
889
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:44,639
The sea longs to reach the clouds.
890
00:44:46,266 --> 00:44:49,894
Mother and child reachin'
out for each other.
891
00:44:49,936 --> 00:44:52,605
When my sweet Bobby went up...
892
00:44:53,773 --> 00:44:56,443
he always took me with him.
893
00:44:56,484 --> 00:44:58,987
And so it follows that that day,
894
00:45:00,113 --> 00:45:01,739
I, too, went down.
895
00:45:03,450 --> 00:45:05,660
That cold winter.
896
00:45:07,412 --> 00:45:09,539
This winter.
897
00:45:09,581 --> 00:45:12,250
The mists up to the lashline.
898
00:45:13,626 --> 00:45:17,839
Ice on the wing is mist
on the ground, is tears.
899
00:45:18,673 --> 00:45:20,467
The mist rises up,
900
00:45:20,508 --> 00:45:22,969
and I kneel down to meet it.
901
00:45:26,347 --> 00:45:29,350
And so now I too become
902
00:45:30,310 --> 00:45:32,020
just another ghost...
903
00:45:37,817 --> 00:45:39,277
of Pensacola.
904
00:45:43,490 --> 00:45:44,574
Bravo!
905
00:45:44,616 --> 00:45:46,409
Bravo!
906
00:45:47,702 --> 00:45:49,704
♪ I'm just ♪
907
00:45:49,746 --> 00:45:53,875
♪ A Broadway Baby ♪
908
00:45:58,379 --> 00:46:02,342
♪ Walking off my tired feet ♪
909
00:46:05,512 --> 00:46:09,974
♪ Pounding 42nd Street ♪
910
00:46:10,892 --> 00:46:14,187
♪ To be in a show ♪
911
00:46:16,689 --> 00:46:17,732
♪ Oh ♪
912
00:46:20,276 --> 00:46:23,696
♪ Broadway Baby ♪
913
00:46:26,866 --> 00:46:31,871
♪ Learning how to sing and dance ♪
914
00:46:33,581 --> 00:46:38,503
♪ Waiting for that one big chance ♪
915
00:46:38,545 --> 00:46:42,173
♪ To be in a show ♪
916
00:46:44,092 --> 00:46:45,218
♪ Oh ♪
917
00:46:46,761 --> 00:46:48,054
♪ Gee ♪
918
00:46:51,142 --> 00:46:55,937
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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