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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,576 --> 00:00:07,776
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,916 --> 00:00:11,686
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,690 --> 00:00:14,700
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,696 --> 00:00:18,136
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,136 --> 00:00:21,306
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:23,049
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,046 --> 00:00:24,316
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:30,255
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:39,345 --> 00:00:43,015
Ah, it's so exciting to be back
at the Halloween Carnival.
11
00:00:43,019 --> 00:00:44,559
Yep. Thanks to the vaccines,
12
00:00:44,556 --> 00:00:47,026
we can all get back to doing
the things we hate.
13
00:00:47,127 --> 00:00:48,527
Oh, for God's sakes, Peter,
14
00:00:48,531 --> 00:00:50,641
I am so tired of you
not making an effort
15
00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:52,195
to be a part of this family.
16
00:00:52,204 --> 00:00:54,444
Lois, I drove us here.
I bought the tickets.
17
00:00:54,442 --> 00:00:56,952
I'm sadly shuffling
through this place with you.
18
00:00:57,047 --> 00:00:58,547
- What more do you want?
- Well, I don't know.
19
00:00:58,551 --> 00:01:00,251
I want you to act
like you're happy
20
00:01:00,254 --> 00:01:02,094
to be with your family
every now and again.
21
00:01:02,191 --> 00:01:04,401
Look, I'm doing the best I can,
but I got to tell you...
22
00:01:04,395 --> 00:01:06,525
Whoa!
23
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,073
Careful.
24
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:11,179
Oh, and there's my boss.
Even better.
25
00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:13,177
Hey, Preston.
What's with the hat?
26
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,050
This is my Halloween costume.
27
00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:17,820
I'm dressed
as 1990s comedian Paul Shore.
28
00:01:17,923 --> 00:01:19,933
You-you mean Pauly Shore?
29
00:01:20,027 --> 00:01:22,197
Perhaps in less
formal circumstances.
30
00:01:22,298 --> 00:01:24,598
You may recall he borrowed
heavily from surf culture,
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00:01:24,703 --> 00:01:28,843
with phrases such as,
"Hey, buddy," and "Grindage".
32
00:01:28,945 --> 00:01:30,715
I don't think
this costume is working.
33
00:01:30,815 --> 00:01:32,585
Neither is Pauly Shore.
34
00:01:32,585 --> 00:01:34,585
Ooh! That looks scary.
35
00:01:34,589 --> 00:01:38,359
"The House of Unskippable
Podcast Ads."
36
00:01:40,969 --> 00:01:42,969
Before we get
to the thrilling conclusion
37
00:01:43,073 --> 00:01:44,283
of Murder at the South Pole,
38
00:01:44,275 --> 00:01:45,975
I'd like to tell you about
UNTUCKit shirts.
39
00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,381
I-I'm hitting "skip ahead,"
40
00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,693
but it's not doing anything!
41
00:01:49,686 --> 00:01:52,086
Last weekend,
I was at a barbecue and thought,
42
00:01:52,191 --> 00:01:54,001
"What's with
all this excess fabric
43
00:01:53,995 --> 00:01:55,325
at the bottom of my shirt?"
44
00:01:55,430 --> 00:01:58,540
Oh, God! A clearly fake
personal story!
45
00:01:58,537 --> 00:02:00,107
The big game was
on the boob tube,
46
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,877
but the biggest touchdown
was the perfect length
47
00:02:02,879 --> 00:02:06,349
of my friend's premium-made,
affordably priced shirt.
48
00:02:06,352 --> 00:02:08,492
Literally no one talks
like that!
49
00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:10,930
So, I went right home
and Bing-ed "UNTUCKit"
50
00:02:10,928 --> 00:02:12,668
on my Microsoft Surface.
51
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,836
Is this a promotion
within a promotion?!
52
00:02:15,838 --> 00:02:17,338
UNTUCKit shirts.
53
00:02:17,341 --> 00:02:20,721
We weren't here for Kevin James,
but we're here now.
54
00:02:23,888 --> 00:02:27,258
All right, gang, as a mom
who planned a family activity,
55
00:02:27,361 --> 00:02:29,231
I'm gonna put
wild pressure on you guys
56
00:02:29,231 --> 00:02:30,871
to say you're having
a good time.
57
00:02:30,868 --> 00:02:35,308
Chris, honey, are you--
are you having a good time?
58
00:02:36,245 --> 00:02:39,085
Okay, I'm gonna
need a verbal response.
59
00:02:39,085 --> 00:02:40,785
- Yeah.
- Oh, good.
60
00:02:40,788 --> 00:02:42,158
Chris is having a good time.
61
00:02:42,157 --> 00:02:44,127
Meg. Meg, are you having
a good time
62
00:02:44,128 --> 00:02:45,998
- just like your brother?
- I guess.
63
00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:47,668
Okay, great.
64
00:02:47,669 --> 00:02:49,409
Can you sign this form
for my Mom Meeting,
65
00:02:49,405 --> 00:02:51,475
acknowledging your merriment?
66
00:02:51,476 --> 00:02:53,906
Wow, very good.
67
00:02:54,015 --> 00:02:55,445
I see everyone had a good time.
68
00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:58,620
Would you like to spin
the wheel of Mom Prizes?
69
00:03:07,575 --> 00:03:10,045
"Donate spin to mom
you wish to belittle."
70
00:03:10,047 --> 00:03:12,177
Oh, thank you!
But, you know,
71
00:03:12,184 --> 00:03:14,624
Bonnie needs this
more than I do.
72
00:03:15,691 --> 00:03:19,271
Her rejuvenation
only made things worse.
73
00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:28,350
Holography? That's
next door to witchcraft,
74
00:03:28,450 --> 00:03:30,890
and down the hall
from David-Blaine-ery.
75
00:03:30,888 --> 00:03:32,628
I do not care for his ruses.
76
00:03:32,726 --> 00:03:35,566
Ah, stop being such a wuss.
Let's go.
77
00:03:41,175 --> 00:03:44,245
The Michael Cera hologram
is a weird choice.
78
00:03:44,248 --> 00:03:47,288
Oh, i-it's the real me.
I'm just kind of translucent.
79
00:03:47,287 --> 00:03:49,257
Oh, hello, Hollywood.
80
00:03:49,258 --> 00:03:50,528
Yes, I would like to star
81
00:03:50,628 --> 00:03:52,328
in an action movie franchise.
82
00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:54,071
That's not a Bluetooth.
83
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,868
He just stuck a Tootsie Roll
in his ear.
84
00:03:55,872 --> 00:03:58,482
Wow, these holograms are
the most amazing thing
85
00:03:58,476 --> 00:04:01,946
I've ever seen, and I've seen,
like, a really big horse.
86
00:04:06,426 --> 00:04:10,166
Welcome to
my hologram laboratory.
87
00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:13,507
Would you like to see
how I make my babies?
88
00:04:13,507 --> 00:04:15,647
I mean, I'm already here.
89
00:04:15,645 --> 00:04:16,945
Is that a yes?
90
00:04:16,947 --> 00:04:19,547
- Yes.
- Just say that, then.
91
00:04:20,387 --> 00:04:22,727
This machine scans your data,
92
00:04:22,826 --> 00:04:25,766
then creates a virtual
hard light version of you
93
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:29,205
that can physically interact
with the world.
94
00:04:29,205 --> 00:04:30,675
That sounds kind of bogus.
95
00:04:30,775 --> 00:04:32,205
Does the science check out
on that?
96
00:04:32,311 --> 00:04:34,151
They used it on Star Trek.
97
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,548
You got a problem
with Star Trek?
98
00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,091
Okay, take it easy.
I accept your explanation.
99
00:04:38,189 --> 00:04:40,359
We all should.
It's Halloween.
100
00:04:40,494 --> 00:04:43,974
You can command them
to perform any human task,
101
00:04:43,968 --> 00:04:45,768
no matter how menial.
102
00:04:45,872 --> 00:04:47,982
So, you're saying
I can have something
103
00:04:47,976 --> 00:04:49,676
that looks exactly like me
104
00:04:49,679 --> 00:04:52,589
seem like it's enjoying
spending time with its family?
105
00:04:52,585 --> 00:04:54,115
Precisely.
106
00:04:54,255 --> 00:04:56,185
- Can I have it?
- I'm afraid not.
107
00:04:56,292 --> 00:04:57,832
It's my only one.
108
00:04:57,962 --> 00:05:02,472
Maybe there are...
other arrangements we can make?
109
00:05:02,471 --> 00:05:05,481
Boy, this is the first
button-down shirt
110
00:05:05,477 --> 00:05:07,277
that looks great untucked.
111
00:05:07,281 --> 00:05:09,651
- It's an UNTUCKit.
- What's their secret?
112
00:05:09,786 --> 00:05:11,856
Oh, they just make shirts
a tiny bit shorter.
113
00:05:11,857 --> 00:05:13,387
Genius.
114
00:05:27,789 --> 00:05:30,029
Man,
this machine is complicated.
115
00:05:30,026 --> 00:05:31,756
I hope I can figure it out.
116
00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:34,942
Here goes nothing.
117
00:05:37,842 --> 00:05:40,622
Thank you for choosing
the Holomaker-9000.
118
00:05:40,615 --> 00:05:43,385
Please input
personal characteristics.
119
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:44,856
Do they have to be true?
120
00:05:44,856 --> 00:05:47,696
I have no way of knowing
what is true and what is not.
121
00:05:47,795 --> 00:05:50,425
Such is life
in the Post-Donald-Trump Era.
122
00:05:50,535 --> 00:05:52,865
Ugh, leave the satire
to Garrison Keillor.
123
00:05:52,872 --> 00:05:55,412
Okay, time for
some statements about myself
124
00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:57,310
that are definitely not lies.
125
00:05:57,314 --> 00:05:59,624
Let's see,
I'm a black belt in karate,
126
00:05:59,619 --> 00:06:01,619
I can cook
an eight-course French meal,
127
00:06:01,723 --> 00:06:03,763
I always enter cars
through the window
128
00:06:03,861 --> 00:06:05,501
'cause doors ain't
the boss of me,
129
00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,468
and I'm great
at remembering names.
130
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,537
Just ask my friends:
Joel, Clemson and QuickTime.
131
00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:27,237
Hello, Peter Griffin.
I am Hologram Peter Griffin.
132
00:06:27,341 --> 00:06:29,351
How may I be of service?
133
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:30,645
Come upstairs, Peter!
134
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,791
I need you to put
the too-small slip covers
135
00:06:32,785 --> 00:06:34,915
on the hard-to-grip
couch pillows.
136
00:06:34,923 --> 00:06:37,033
You can start
by handling that.
137
00:06:37,127 --> 00:06:40,767
I would be happy to help your
family with whatever they need.
138
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,738
Aw, sweet! If this works out,
139
00:06:42,739 --> 00:06:45,139
I'll have more time
for those QAnon rallies.
140
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,313
- What do we want?
- We don't know!
141
00:06:47,314 --> 00:06:49,994
- When do we want it?
- Also unclear!
142
00:06:49,986 --> 00:06:52,656
- Why do we want it?
- Because it was forwarded to us
143
00:06:52,659 --> 00:06:55,159
in an email,
so it must be true!
144
00:06:55,163 --> 00:06:57,003
Yeah!
145
00:06:58,002 --> 00:06:59,312
Oh, Peter, there you are.
146
00:06:59,405 --> 00:07:01,305
Listen, I'm trying
to clear out my closet,
147
00:07:01,309 --> 00:07:05,049
so I want you to give me your
honest opinion of every garment.
148
00:07:07,487 --> 00:07:11,397
Perfect. I love working
as a team to reduce clutter.
149
00:07:11,395 --> 00:07:14,835
Okay, first,
my "7 Up Yours" T-shirt.
150
00:07:14,936 --> 00:07:18,006
That was the most provocative
thing ever put on television
151
00:07:18,009 --> 00:07:21,179
- at the time,
you have to keep that.
- Okay, great.
152
00:07:21,182 --> 00:07:24,692
Now my "Skinny Girl Margarita"
T-shirt Bethenny Frankel gave me
153
00:07:24,689 --> 00:07:26,559
after she hit Chris
with her car.
154
00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:28,400
That's a fun story. Keep.
155
00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:29,830
Great. Okay.
156
00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:32,143
Under-the-seat
studio audience poncho
157
00:07:32,237 --> 00:07:33,737
from The Meredith Vieira Show?
158
00:07:33,741 --> 00:07:37,351
Maybe it's time
to say goodbye to Miss Vieira.
159
00:07:37,447 --> 00:07:39,687
Oh, man, this is going great!
160
00:07:42,024 --> 00:07:44,564
Aw, crap, I'm stuck.
161
00:07:44,562 --> 00:07:46,572
Let me call
my eyehole painting guy.
162
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,536
Hey, it's Peter Griffin.
163
00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:50,877
Yep, trapped in the painting again.
164
00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:52,405
I know, I know.
165
00:07:52,411 --> 00:07:54,551
Well, can't you just
look up my account?
166
00:07:54,549 --> 00:07:56,519
No, I don't have my ID number.
167
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,720
No, I can't get my ID number!
168
00:07:58,724 --> 00:08:00,834
Because I'm trapped
in the painting!
169
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:03,198
I'm sorry, I-I'm mad
at your company, not you.
170
00:08:03,199 --> 00:08:04,469
You-You're fine.
171
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,020
Okay, yesterday
worked out great.
172
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:15,057
So here's some more dumb family
stuff I want you to do for me.
173
00:08:15,056 --> 00:08:17,826
"Teach Stewie
what sound the cow makes."
174
00:08:17,829 --> 00:08:20,569
It's "moo."
"Quack" is duck.
175
00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,268
"Get opiates from John."
176
00:08:22,270 --> 00:08:23,570
Yeah, I'll give you
John's number.
177
00:08:23,674 --> 00:08:26,414
Tell him it's Peter calling
for opiates from John.
178
00:08:26,412 --> 00:08:28,052
- He'll know what you mean.
- Got it.
179
00:08:28,182 --> 00:08:29,352
Now that you're doing all that,
180
00:08:29,451 --> 00:08:31,461
I'm going to The Clam
with the guys.
181
00:08:31,455 --> 00:08:33,725
Oh, man, this hologram thing
is the best idea
182
00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:36,001
since the Mayflower hired
a cruise director.
183
00:08:35,998 --> 00:08:38,368
Okay, everyone,
from 8:00 until 9:00,
184
00:08:38,469 --> 00:08:40,639
we'll be trembling
before our angry God.
185
00:08:40,775 --> 00:08:43,375
From 9:00 to 10:00, there's
yellow fever on the lido deck.
186
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,649
And at 10:00,
it's everybody's favorite,
187
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,351
Buckle-Hat Bingo.
188
00:08:47,354 --> 00:08:49,264
What if we lost our buckle hat?
189
00:08:49,358 --> 00:08:51,228
- Well, do you have a plain hat?
- Yeah.
190
00:08:51,228 --> 00:08:52,868
- Do you have a belt?
- Yeah.
191
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,495
You got a buckle hat.
192
00:08:55,604 --> 00:08:58,814
I just love knowing
what's going on.
193
00:09:01,616 --> 00:09:03,746
Oh, Peter, thanks
for clearing out
194
00:09:03,754 --> 00:09:05,734
an area for us
to start a garden.
195
00:09:05,725 --> 00:09:09,865
Yeah, they say the best day
to plant a garden is yesterday.
196
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,196
And the next best day is today!
197
00:09:13,907 --> 00:09:15,907
This, this is what I meant
198
00:09:15,911 --> 00:09:17,951
about making an effort
with the family.
199
00:09:18,049 --> 00:09:21,889
And I can garden, too,
'cause I have a brown thumb.
200
00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:24,830
That's more of a wiping issue,
son, but I'm glad you're here.
201
00:09:24,929 --> 00:09:27,169
This is great,
but I'm a little hot.
202
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:30,067
No problem, that's why
I bought a giant sun hat
203
00:09:30,073 --> 00:09:31,343
that can fit all of us.
204
00:09:31,342 --> 00:09:33,782
And now to quote
the kitchen towel,
205
00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,921
"Lettuce turnip the beet."
206
00:09:36,018 --> 00:09:40,288
Stop it or I'm gonna wet myself.
207
00:09:40,427 --> 00:09:42,867
Me, too. I always wet my plants.
208
00:09:44,936 --> 00:09:46,436
Where do you get all this?
209
00:09:46,439 --> 00:09:48,039
They're all from towels, Lois!
210
00:09:48,142 --> 00:09:50,012
They're all from towels!
211
00:09:52,819 --> 00:09:55,059
Well, what do you think, guys?
212
00:09:55,190 --> 00:09:56,160
Should we wrap it up?
213
00:09:56,258 --> 00:09:58,598
Yeah, but can one of you
throw glitter on me?
214
00:09:58,697 --> 00:10:01,237
It's-it's better if Lois thinks
I'm at a strip club.
215
00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:02,965
She hates you guys.
216
00:10:04,108 --> 00:10:06,848
Peter, I think you're
a little too drunk to walk home.
217
00:10:06,947 --> 00:10:09,987
- Yeah, give us your shoes.
- Can we give you a ride?
218
00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:11,956
No, no, it's okay.
I'll just black out
219
00:10:11,957 --> 00:10:14,387
and-and never know
how I got home.
220
00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:18,095
Works every time.
221
00:10:18,102 --> 00:10:20,712
And it's good
for the environment, maybe.
222
00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:28,155
Boy, they look pretty happy.
223
00:10:28,156 --> 00:10:30,826
And they're singing
Halloween carols.
224
00:10:30,828 --> 00:10:33,568
♪ Halloween has lots of candy ♪
225
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,137
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪
226
00:10:36,138 --> 00:10:38,878
♪ Wear a mask
and ring a doorbell ♪
227
00:10:38,977 --> 00:10:41,717
- The perfect rhyme!
- ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪
228
00:10:41,817 --> 00:10:44,317
♪ Don't be racist
with your costume ♪
229
00:10:44,421 --> 00:10:48,001
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. ♪
230
00:10:49,666 --> 00:10:50,996
Ah, that was fun.
231
00:10:51,001 --> 00:10:53,241
And now that we're
just about done with Halloween,
232
00:10:53,239 --> 00:10:56,379
maybe it's time to start writing
the family Christmas letter.
233
00:10:56,478 --> 00:10:58,848
Ah, Peter, that's a great idea!
234
00:10:58,851 --> 00:11:00,521
Good luck, pal.
235
00:11:00,621 --> 00:11:02,021
Our Christmas letter
always runs aground
236
00:11:02,123 --> 00:11:03,993
'cause our family has
no accomplishments.
237
00:11:03,994 --> 00:11:06,674
All right, we need
some highlights from our year.
238
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,636
Um, I got suspended
for setting up a tent
239
00:11:09,639 --> 00:11:12,009
in my Spanish teacher's
front yard.
240
00:11:12,010 --> 00:11:14,180
"After several
adventurous camping trips,
241
00:11:14,181 --> 00:11:16,621
"Chris is becoming
quite the outdoorsman
242
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,290
and has found a true mentor
in Señora Diaz."
243
00:11:19,391 --> 00:11:21,861
I was trying to snag a bagel
from the school dumpster
244
00:11:21,863 --> 00:11:24,233
and got accidentally hoisted
into the garbage truck.
245
00:11:24,234 --> 00:11:26,944
"This was the year
Meg caught the travel bug."
246
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,110
Stewie's first pony ride ended
247
00:11:29,111 --> 00:11:31,881
after he blew out his diaper
all over the horse's back.
248
00:11:31,883 --> 00:11:33,823
"Stewie pooped on a horse."
249
00:11:33,921 --> 00:11:36,061
Whoa, Pop,
where's my razzle-dazzle?
250
00:11:36,158 --> 00:11:39,698
"And Lois celebrated
her 29th birthday this year."
251
00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:42,339
Oh, Peter.
252
00:11:42,437 --> 00:11:43,867
What the h-- Lois isn't 29...
253
00:11:43,874 --> 00:11:46,414
Oh, I see what he's doing.
254
00:11:46,412 --> 00:11:48,252
That's-that's very funny.
255
00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:54,426
What the hell?
No one kisses my wife
256
00:11:54,529 --> 00:11:56,229
except, begrudgingly, me!
257
00:11:56,232 --> 00:11:58,672
It's time for
Hologram Peter to go back
258
00:11:58,670 --> 00:12:00,440
inside the machine
where he came from.
259
00:12:02,410 --> 00:12:03,450
I'll be back in a minute.
260
00:12:03,446 --> 00:12:04,846
Don't pray without me.
261
00:12:04,949 --> 00:12:06,849
Give me that!
You're not the only one
262
00:12:06,953 --> 00:12:08,763
who can do things
for this family.
263
00:12:09,826 --> 00:12:11,996
Can you... can you pick that up?
264
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,397
Listen, I appreciate
you covering for me,
265
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:15,701
but I can take it from here.
266
00:12:15,804 --> 00:12:18,284
Don't be silly.
I've got 'em all taken care of.
267
00:12:18,376 --> 00:12:21,046
- Go have fun.
- I thought this was gonna be
a good idea,
268
00:12:21,048 --> 00:12:22,948
and-and these last few hours
have been great...
269
00:12:22,952 --> 00:12:24,522
You've been gone three days.
270
00:12:24,522 --> 00:12:26,592
But I'm ready to go
back to my family.
271
00:12:26,593 --> 00:12:28,203
Okay, you're the boss.
272
00:12:28,195 --> 00:12:29,825
The hologram machine is
in the basement.
273
00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:32,773
Let's head down there together
and sort this out.
274
00:12:41,355 --> 00:12:44,925
Where's the machine?
I left it right over--
275
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,540
As Peter lost consciousness,
276
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:52,747
he finally saw the folly
of his hologram misadventure.
277
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,793
Also, going forward,
I'd appreciate
278
00:12:57,888 --> 00:13:00,128
a bit more warning
before having to narrate.
279
00:13:00,126 --> 00:13:02,566
Even just a few minutes
280
00:13:02,565 --> 00:13:05,235
to finish whatever it is
I'm doing.
281
00:13:05,336 --> 00:13:07,776
Sir, you're supposed
to buy something
282
00:13:07,775 --> 00:13:09,475
if you want to use the restroom.
283
00:13:09,579 --> 00:13:11,879
Well, what's
the cheapest thing you got?
284
00:13:11,883 --> 00:13:14,023
Probably a near-the-register
cookie?
285
00:13:14,154 --> 00:13:16,164
Well, put me down
for one of those.
286
00:13:24,374 --> 00:13:26,384
Wha... what happened?
287
00:13:26,378 --> 00:13:29,148
- I knocked you out
and tied you up.
- Why?
288
00:13:29,151 --> 00:13:31,721
Because they're my family now.
289
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,160
Well, the joke's on you.
290
00:13:35,263 --> 00:13:38,173
When you first got here,
I sent a letter to the FBI
291
00:13:38,269 --> 00:13:41,109
because I knew something
like this might happen.
292
00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:43,480
Is it bad?
293
00:13:44,849 --> 00:13:46,149
It's better than the last one.
294
00:13:46,151 --> 00:13:48,391
You should put it up
on the FBI fridge
295
00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:49,893
next to his drawing of Shrek.
296
00:13:49,892 --> 00:13:51,102
What?
297
00:13:51,228 --> 00:13:53,368
Nothing. It's not
supposed to be Shrek.
298
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,666
It's supposed to be the Hulk,
but that's funny.
299
00:13:55,671 --> 00:13:57,441
You don't deserve your family.
300
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,780
I care about them way more
than you ever did.
301
00:13:59,879 --> 00:14:01,079
That's not true!
302
00:14:01,181 --> 00:14:03,951
Oh, yeah? Who bought
double-decker burial plots
303
00:14:03,954 --> 00:14:05,794
because Lois likes to be on top?
304
00:14:05,791 --> 00:14:08,101
Who taught Chris to whisper...
"Black"
305
00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:10,225
out of respect for...
"Blacks"?
306
00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:14,173
Me! And once I finish you,
they'll be all mine.
307
00:14:14,174 --> 00:14:16,914
Peter! Can you come upstairs
308
00:14:16,913 --> 00:14:19,553
and tell me if
this gray chicken smells funny?
309
00:14:19,552 --> 00:14:20,852
Be right up, babe!
310
00:14:20,954 --> 00:14:24,434
Aw, man. This is worse than--
311
00:14:27,902 --> 00:14:30,612
Wait, what are we supposed
to do in this cutaway?
312
00:14:30,607 --> 00:14:32,777
I don't know, I didn--
I didn't understand the setup.
313
00:14:32,778 --> 00:14:34,878
Well, we have to do something.
314
00:14:34,882 --> 00:14:39,462
Um, I mean, you do have
a long neck and I have fangs.
315
00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:41,228
Maybe something in that area?
316
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:43,828
Uh, maybe we just wait
to hear what the grown men
317
00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:45,904
who write for cartoons say?
318
00:14:50,981 --> 00:14:54,451
Cream number 99 and cream 100.
319
00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,855
Okay, I'm ready for bed.
320
00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:58,900
Well, we had meatloaf tonight,
321
00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,867
so I guess I'm in
for a Dutch oven.
322
00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:02,238
What's a Dutch oven?
323
00:15:08,683 --> 00:15:13,363
Peter, wh-why is there dental
floss in this trash can?
324
00:15:13,492 --> 00:15:14,832
Because I just flossed.
325
00:15:14,829 --> 00:15:16,869
Death creeps in
through the gums, you know.
326
00:15:18,369 --> 00:15:21,439
Um, Peter,
I-I need to go downstairs.
327
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:24,982
I... I left a lame excuse
on the stove.
328
00:15:25,082 --> 00:15:28,192
Okay, but be careful,
I just mopped the kitchen floor.
329
00:15:28,924 --> 00:15:30,764
I love you!
330
00:15:30,761 --> 00:15:33,271
Stewie, wake up! We got to go.
331
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,865
Chris, come on. We got to go.
332
00:15:34,869 --> 00:15:37,909
Meg, can you drag the trash to
the curb tomorrow before 9:00?
333
00:15:37,908 --> 00:15:39,338
We won't be here.
334
00:15:45,123 --> 00:15:46,993
Thanks for telling us
that whole backstory
335
00:15:46,993 --> 00:15:48,603
on the way down the stairs, Mom.
336
00:15:48,597 --> 00:15:50,997
Yeah, now we don't have
to waste time hearing about
337
00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:53,041
how a hologram of Peter
replaced the real Peter.
338
00:15:53,139 --> 00:15:54,509
Although, I don't know
why we had to hear about
339
00:15:54,609 --> 00:15:56,709
Bonnie not inviting you
to Rosé Game Night.
340
00:15:56,813 --> 00:15:59,723
Well, I just thought it was
weird, 'cause it was my idea.
341
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,469
Going somewhere, family?
342
00:16:17,721 --> 00:16:19,791
I didn't want to
have to tie you up.
343
00:16:19,792 --> 00:16:21,462
I did everything for you.
344
00:16:21,596 --> 00:16:24,366
And people think
holograms don't have feelings.
345
00:16:24,367 --> 00:16:25,497
Well, we don't.
346
00:16:25,604 --> 00:16:27,944
And then I watched
one episode of This Is Us,
347
00:16:27,942 --> 00:16:30,152
and now I'm all feelings.
348
00:16:30,146 --> 00:16:33,846
Don't mention This is Us.
Aw, great. Now I'm gonna cry.
349
00:16:33,854 --> 00:16:35,894
Save your crocodile tears.
350
00:16:35,891 --> 00:16:37,731
None of you appreciated me.
351
00:16:37,728 --> 00:16:40,768
And if I can't have you,
no one will.
352
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:43,507
I hate This is Us.
353
00:16:44,542 --> 00:16:45,942
Let my family go.
354
00:16:46,078 --> 00:16:47,948
I'm impressed.
355
00:16:48,082 --> 00:16:50,122
How did you free yourself
from the bindings?
356
00:16:50,119 --> 00:16:53,289
I found a hacksaw
and sawed through my hands.
357
00:16:53,292 --> 00:16:55,262
Why didn't you saw
through the ropes?
358
00:16:55,263 --> 00:16:57,543
Hacksaw hindsight is
twenty-twenty, Lois.
359
00:16:57,668 --> 00:17:00,538
The important thing is,
I stitched my hands back on
360
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,141
with Twizzlers.
361
00:17:05,249 --> 00:17:07,389
All right,
fat guy fight rules:
362
00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:09,557
We grab at each other's shirts
until we're out of breath
363
00:17:09,659 --> 00:17:11,999
- and then a three-minute break.
- Got it.
364
00:17:12,096 --> 00:17:13,926
Should we just take
a three-minute break now?
365
00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:15,304
Agreed.
366
00:17:18,743 --> 00:17:20,383
It turned into a pudding break.
367
00:17:20,379 --> 00:17:21,819
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait!
368
00:17:21,816 --> 00:17:23,316
I didn't get to lick the lid.
369
00:17:28,563 --> 00:17:32,043
Now for the final download.
370
00:17:32,036 --> 00:17:34,576
Everything in your mind.
371
00:17:38,282 --> 00:17:41,492
Joke's on you.
There's nothing in there.
372
00:17:52,143 --> 00:17:54,383
Guys, Dad needs help!
373
00:18:00,026 --> 00:18:01,656
We have to short-circuit
the hologram.
374
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:04,033
Can anyone shoot lightning
from their fingers?
375
00:18:04,034 --> 00:18:05,674
I can,
376
00:18:05,671 --> 00:18:09,241
but I have to be very angry.
377
00:18:11,315 --> 00:18:14,185
Wait, Brian, there are
other kinds of electricity.
378
00:18:14,187 --> 00:18:16,187
By simply rubbing my feet
on the carpet,
379
00:18:16,191 --> 00:18:18,601
I may be able to generate
enough static electricity
380
00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:20,967
- to do the job.
- Stewie, that's a great idea!
381
00:18:21,068 --> 00:18:22,098
What can I do to help?
382
00:18:22,203 --> 00:18:23,643
I need something
to get my feet going.
383
00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:25,180
Can you sing "I Got Rhythm"?
384
00:18:25,276 --> 00:18:28,376
Um, I-I... Can I,
can I just say "da da"
385
00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:29,592
for the words I don't know?
386
00:18:29,585 --> 00:18:30,915
We have no choice. Go!
387
00:18:30,921 --> 00:18:32,691
♪ Da da rhythm ♪
388
00:18:32,691 --> 00:18:34,061
Wait, wait, wait.
389
00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:36,260
We're starting
with the "da das" already?
390
00:18:36,264 --> 00:18:38,704
You don't know "I got rhythm"?
It's in the name!
391
00:18:38,703 --> 00:18:39,943
Okay, I got it. Got it, got it.
392
00:18:40,039 --> 00:18:42,139
- ♪ I got da da ♪
- Rhythm!
393
00:18:42,143 --> 00:18:43,653
You said that the first time!
394
00:18:43,647 --> 00:18:46,717
Okay, now I'm starting
to get angry.
395
00:18:46,719 --> 00:18:48,089
I'll do it myself.
396
00:18:48,222 --> 00:18:49,732
♪ I got rhythm ♪
397
00:18:49,725 --> 00:18:51,225
♪ Da da music. ♪
398
00:18:51,228 --> 00:18:52,498
Oh-ho! The expert.
399
00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:54,197
Well, I got through the title
at least.
400
00:19:00,981 --> 00:19:02,991
It's working!
401
00:19:02,985 --> 00:19:04,145
Quick, everyone, hold hands.
402
00:19:04,154 --> 00:19:05,694
We have to reach Peter.
403
00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:13,743
We can't reach him!
404
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,010
Lois, use your toe!
405
00:19:15,009 --> 00:19:17,249
I haven't had a pedicure
in four weeks!
406
00:19:17,347 --> 00:19:19,447
Just do it. We won't look.
407
00:19:21,923 --> 00:19:22,893
Ew.
408
00:19:22,991 --> 00:19:24,861
Peter! Touch my toe!
409
00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:26,632
- Ew.
- Do it!
410
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:29,972
That's usually my line,
but whatever.
411
00:19:46,104 --> 00:19:48,384
Wilma!
412
00:19:56,759 --> 00:19:59,499
You saved us, Peter.
413
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:02,296
Yeah, glad you thought of it.
414
00:20:02,437 --> 00:20:03,907
I hate this place.
415
00:20:04,007 --> 00:20:05,607
Of course I did.
416
00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:06,580
I love you guys.
417
00:20:06,679 --> 00:20:09,049
And from now on,
I'll try to be half as good
418
00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:10,590
as Hologram Me was.
419
00:20:10,587 --> 00:20:12,317
Oh, but don't you see, Peter?
420
00:20:12,423 --> 00:20:14,463
The hologram was you.
421
00:20:14,461 --> 00:20:16,201
He was just
the best version of you.
422
00:20:16,198 --> 00:20:18,468
You can get there,
it'll just take work.
423
00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:21,540
No, the deal was
I promise to be half as good
424
00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:22,482
as a fake thing.
425
00:20:22,578 --> 00:20:24,518
- All right, just do that.
- No promises.
426
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:32,429
Well, Peter,
I'm glad you're safe,
427
00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:34,100
and everything's back to normal.
428
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:36,300
Yeah. Me, too.
And you know what?
429
00:20:36,304 --> 00:20:38,544
I realized
how much I missed you guys.
430
00:20:38,543 --> 00:20:40,453
What do you say
we turn off that TV
431
00:20:40,446 --> 00:20:42,046
and do something as a family?
432
00:20:42,150 --> 00:20:43,490
Damn it.
433
00:20:43,485 --> 00:20:45,285
He created another hologram.
434
00:20:45,389 --> 00:20:47,329
I'll get my feet started.
435
00:20:47,326 --> 00:20:50,066
- Brian, little "Camptown Races"?
- You got it.
436
00:20:50,065 --> 00:20:51,735
♪ Da da ladies sing this song ♪
437
00:20:51,836 --> 00:20:54,336
- I just gave you the title!
- Sorry, uh...
438
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,240
♪ Camptown ladies sing
this song ♪
439
00:20:56,244 --> 00:20:58,184
- ♪ Da da-- ♪
- It's "Doo-dah"!
440
00:20:58,182 --> 00:20:59,252
At least I got one of 'em.
441
00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:00,920
The second one doesn't count!
31559
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