All language subtitles for Dawsons Creek S05E04 The Long Goodbye 1080p NF WEB-DL DDP5 1 x264-alfaHD (1)_track3_[eng]

Your mother...

How is she holding up?

She cries a lot.

I understand.

And you?
How are you?

People ask me
That a lot.

It's a weird
Question.

Every time
I start to give

Too long
Of an answer,

Which I'm starting
To do right now,

Those same people
Get very
Uncomfortable.

Not you, though,
Huh?

I guess you're
An old pro at this.

You could say that.

I'm fine.

That one.

Very nice choice.

Very tasteful.

Thank you.

Hey.

What's with
The furrowed brow?

Better watch out.

You're gonna
Give yourself a wrinkle.

Pacey, I've got
Some bad news.

Aw, why don't
You look like
You're kidding?

Doug gave me a call.

He said he's been
Trying to get
In touch with you.

He left you
A bunch of messages
At the restaurant.

Yeah, I know.
I meant to call him back,

But what are you
Gonna do?

You probably
Should've.

What's going on?

It's mitch.
Um...

He's dead.

What?

Well, how?

It was
A car accident.

And I-I-is everybody--
I mean--

They're all fine.

It was just mitch.
He was alone.

When did this
Happen, jo?

It happened a couple
Of nights ago.

Ohh.

How's dawson doing?

Well,
He's not so good.

His father's dead.

Right.
That's a stupid question.

No, you're entitled,
Believe me.

I've said about
800 stupid things

To him in the last
Couple of days,

But, um, you want
To come with me?

Do you really think
That I should?

What are you
Talking about?

Well, I...

Maybe he doesn't
Want me there, jo.

Ok, your father
Dies tomorrow.

You're
At the funeral.

You look up,
And you see dawson.

Would that mean
Something to you?

Would seeing one
Of your oldest
Friends mean som--

Just give me
5 minutes.

Be right there.

Can I talk to you
About something?

Sure.

I'm nervous.

About what?

Seeing him.

Why?

Because I don't
Know what to say.

I don't think
He's expecting you
To give a speech, jen.

I couldn't sleep
Last night.

I was up and tossing
And turning,

Trying to figure out
What to say,

How I was
Gonna act.

No one ever
Knows what to say,

But when tim died,
You wouldn't believe

Some of the things
That people said to me.

But the thing is,
No matter what you say
Or what you do,

Dawson is alone
In this, ok?

There isn't
A word or a sentence
In the english language

That can take away
The kind of pain
That he's dealing with.

Well, so then,
What do I do?

You've just
Gotta figure out

Your own way
Of being there for him.

Ok.

You having
A good birthday?

Yeah, definitely.

How's it feel
To be 12 years old?

Pretty good.

I think I'm ready
For a girlfriend.

Oh, you think so?

Yeah.

Well, I'd say
Give it a few years.

You've got
Plenty of time

Before girls start
Clouding your head.

Ha, ok.

Did you like
All your gifts?

Yeah, I loved 'em,
Especially the 1941 video.

Which was not
Easy to find,
Let me tell you.

Thank you, dad.
Don't mention it.

You know,
I could be wrong,

But I think you've
Got one more gift
Coming to you.

Nope.
I opened them all.

Are you sure?
Pretty sure.

I don't know...

I think maybe you
Better take a look...

In the closet.

Go on.

Well, come on!
Bring it out.

Open it up.

The guy at the store said
It was a real good one
For making movies.

Great editing
Capabilities,

And it comes
With its own tripod.

Thank you, dad.
Ha ha.

You're welcome,
Dawson.

Dad, this...

This must have been
Really expensive,

But you're not
Gonna regret it.

I swear, I'm gonna
Make so many movies
On this.

This is not a phase.

Oh, don't worry
About that, dawson.

Just enjoy it.

Let the things you love
Be your escape.

Dawson?

Joey...Hey.

You're smiling.

I was?

You were.

Is there anything
I can do?

Um...Yeah, actually.
You know what? There is.

Would you mind
Watching lily
For a little bit?

My mom fell asleep.
I've gotta get to
The funeral home.

Of course.

Great.

Is that what you're
Wearing? It's nice.

Uh, no. Actually,
It's for my dad.

He's gonna
Be buried in it.

I'm sorry.

Jo, that's ok.
You couldn't
Have known that.

I won't be long.

Why don't you let me take her
For a while, dear?

I'm afraid I can't
Do that, grams.

Lily here offers
A great buffer.

As long as
I hold her,

People tend not
To come up to me

And offer
Their platitudes.

Where's your mother?

She's upstairs.

She won't come down.

So, what's yours?

My what?

Your platitude.

I'm afraid I'm fresh out.

Really?

I thought for sure
You'd whip out

"The lord works
In mysterious ways."

Hmm.

The lord and I,
We...

We aren't on speaking
Terms this week.

Listen, joey...

I don't want you
Climbing up the trellis
Anymore, ok?

It's dangerous.
You could hurt yourself,

And if that happened,
I don't think my son
Would ever forgive me.

Yeah, right.

Sooner or later,
Joey,

He's gonna pull his head
Out of the sand.

He'll figure it out.

Probably not
As soon as you'd like,

Boys are stupid
Like that.

Hey.

Hey.

What you doing?

Trying to decide
Between a glass
Of orange juice

And a bottle
Of wine.

Any thoughts?

Well, wine's fine,
But whiskey's quicker.

What about narcotics?

Oh, even better.

You know,
Times like this,

I really wish
I was more of
A drug person,

But I don't know.

Starting up just seems
Like such a hassle.

Yeah, plus,
You can't really score
Any good dope in capeside.

Good point.
Orange juice it is.

So, I've been trying
To figure exactly

What it is that I'm
Supposed to say to you.

I feel terrible, dawson,
I really do.

I mean, I can't imagine
What you're going through,

But I feel so helpless.

I mean, if this were
About a girl,

I could offer
Sage advice,

But...This is out
Of my league.

The only person that
Was ever taken from me
Was my grandfather,

And that was a long time
Coming, you know.

So here's
What I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna give you
A hug,

And I'm not gonna let go
For a really long time.

I'm gonna tell you
That I love you,

Which is actually
A pretty good deal,

'cause that means
That I'll do anything

On the off chance
It'll make you
A little less sad.

That sounds
Very good to me.

I, uh, can't believe
That he's gone.

I keep expecting
To hear his car
In the driveway,

His keys
In the lock,

Footsteps on the stairs.

So, how's
The party?

It's fabulous.
The paté is all the rage.

And how's our boy?

Great. He's keeping it
All together.

Which is exactly
What bothers me.

Me, too.

He's stubborn, joey.
He's just like
His father.

You know,
I know this probably
Doesn't mean much now,

But he's not really gone,
You know.

'cause if ever
There was someone

Who was an absolute
Reflection of his father,

It's dawson.

You think so?

You know, growing up,

Spending that time
With you guys...

I think I was too little
To really understand it,

But I--I always knew
There was something special

About the way you guys
Looked at each other.

Like you were in
On this great little secret

That the rest of us
Weren't privy to,

And my parents
Never had that...

Not even
In the best of times.

I'm not gonna sit here
And--and try to pretend

To know what was going
Through his mind
Before he died, but...

I know your husband
Loved you very much.

Hey.

Dawson.

Hey, man.

Thanks for comin'.

Of course...

But I can't say
That this is exactly

The way I wanted
To see you again
For the first time.

Yeah, I know
What you mean.

How was your summer?

My summer
Was really good.

It was really,
Really good, actually.

It totally
Cleared my head.

Good.

How's film school
Treatin' ya?

Uh...

I'm gonna be droppin'
Out, actually.

Why?

It's a long story.

Gotcha.

I'm sorry, dawson.

I wish I had somethin' better
To say to you than that,

But that's really
What it boils down to.

I'm really, really sorry.

Remember the time
He caught us
Smoking down here?

Yeah. I, uh...
Of course I remember.

Sixth grade, right?
I don't think I've ever
Seen your father so mad.

Being mitch,
He had to tell us

That he was just
Concerned for us,

Which was a bit
Of a surprise to me

Because if it was
My father,

It would be kind
Of a different story.

In fact, I guarantee
I'd still be smoking
To this day

Just to piss him off.

Ahh...

Well...

I should probably
Head inside

And make myself useful
Or something.

All right?
Of course.

It was good
To see you, pace.

Yeah.

Come here.

Dawson.

You probably don't
Remember me, dawson,

But I'm susan.
I'm an old friend

Of your mother's
From college.

Right. You're my mom's
Deadhead friend.

That's right.

Uh, tell me,
Are you dealing
With your grief?

Uh...
I'm dealing.

How are you
Dealing with it?

Um, not to be rude,

But I--I don't know
What you're talking about.

Where are you channeling
All the feelings
You're having

About your father's
Passing?

Um...

You know,
Not to be rude again,

But I really don't have
The time or the luxury.

Oh, you must take
The time, dawson.

Hi.

You've reached
The leerys...

Minus dawson, that is,

Who can be reached
In sunny california
These days.

If you have a message
For gale, lily,
Or myself, however,

You can leave it at--

Hey.
I'm fine.

I'm...

I'm fine.

Not one of my finer
Moments, huh?

You know,
A long time ago--

It must have been
A couple of months
After my mom passed away--

I was digging through
This drawer in the kitchen

Looking for a pen
Or something,

And I came across
This grocery list
She had made,

And it was filled
With all these little
Heart-shaped doodles,

And I just...Lost it.

I cried like a baby
For hours.

If what just happened
To you in there

Had happened to me
Back then,

I would have
Run away screaming.

I can't do that.

Who says?

I do. I can't.

My mom's a wreck.
I gotta keep it
Together.

She's allowed
To be a wreck,
And so are you.

I'll make you a deal.

You take care of your mom,

I'll take care of you.

I gotta say, jo, I--

When your mom died,
I sympathized with you,
And I really felt bad,

But I had no idea
It felt like this.

Nothing feels real.
It's like I've been

Transported to some
Alternate universe

Where I'm just
Walking around

Outside my body
All day long.

It'll get better.
I promise.

That's good.
Any, uh, advice

On how I should
Deal with the fact

That my father's
Death was almost
Entirely my fault?

What? How do you
Figure that?

Come on, jo.
Think about it.

If I hadn't come back
And laid all this
On him,

None of this
Would've happened.

Dawson, look at me.

You father died
In a car accident.

There was nothing
You could do to stop that.

That's not entirely
True, jo.

That's, I mean...

First off, if I hadn't
Showed up that morning,

My mom wouldn't have
Made me breakfast,

Which means they wouldn't
Have run out of milk,

Which means my dad
Wouldn't have had to drive
To the store that night

So lily would have
Some in the morning.

That's crazy.

Don't tell me
What's crazy, jo.

For all I know,
My dad was driving
Along that night,

Pissed, having
Some argument
With me in his head

Which caused him
To take his eyes
Off the road

Just long enough
To--

Look, you can't
Do this to yourself.

You--you know
What he said to me

The last time
I saw him?

Hmm?

He said that I was
Making a huge mistake

And that he was
Disappointed in me.

I know. You told me that.

You remember what else
You told me?

He said he loved you
Very much.

I'll never
Go through life

Doubting that my father
Loved me, jo, but...

Do you have any idea
How much it sucks

To know that my father
Was disappointed in me
The day he died?

And he was right.
I was acting crazy
Like a spoiled brat,

And if
I'd listened to him,

He would've been
Driving me
To the airport

Instead of driving
To his death.

You all right,
Dear?

Oh, I'm hanging
In there, I guess.

You know, every night
For 46 years,

I prayed the good lord
Would take me first.

I never wanted
To go on without him.

I didn't think
I was capable of it.

But somehow, I was.

It wasn't easy,
But inevitably
There comes a day

That isn't as bad
As the one before it.

And until then?

Well, that's
What prescription
Medication is for.

Oh, it's a strange
Thing we do.

What's that?

Falling in love.

You share your life
With another person.

You--you give them
Your heart

To the extent
That losing them could
Potentially destroy you.

It's a crazy thing
To do.

You're right.
It's insane.

Then why on earth
Do we do it?

What else is there?

Oh, I wish I still
Lived next door.

So do I.

I could stay
For a while if you like,

Help out with lily.

Oh, that is such
A generous offer,
Evelyn,

And I do
Love you for it,

But, um...

No, I--I think
Dawson and I

Are gonna have
To meet this one
Head on.

You sure?

I'm sure.

Well, I understand,

But don't you hesitate
To pick up the phone,
Young lady.

We merry widows
Have to stick together.

Hey.

Everyone's
Starting to leave.

I'll see ya.

I can stay
As long as you want.

That's sweet
Of you, jo.

I'm serious.

I know you are,

But you gotta
Get back to school.

School doesn't matter
Right now, dawson.

I'll be ok.
Dawson.

Joey,
I wanna be alone.

Ok?

Ok. Call me
If you need me.

Will you do that?
I will.

Bye.

You know, I can't say
As I have ever seen
The potter b&b

Quite so crowded.

Nothin' like a funeral
To drum up business.

You wanna know what
The worst part
About death is?

It has this
Horrible tendency

Of putting everyone
In a really bad mood.

When I go,
I want to go in a way

In which it makes
Everybody laugh.

You know, like,
No matter how sudden

Or tragic
The circumstances,

You just can't help
But laugh...

Like getting run over
By a car full of clowns.

That's kinda funny,
Right?

You smiled.
Mission accomplished.

He blames himself,
You know.

Why?

Well...

He wanted
To drop out of usc
And move to boston,

And mitch thought
He was crazy,

And they had
This huge blowout.

Why on earth
Would dawson leery,
Of all people,

Want to drop out
Of film school?

Oh. Heh.

I get it.

It's ok.
You can tell me, jo.

I'm not gonna
Get upset.

Oh, pace,
I didn't ask him to,

If that's what
You mean. I--

Oh, look.
If anybody understands

The various shades
Of gray here, it's me,

And I think it's time
The two of you got your shot...

Because the way I see it,
You never did,

And this world could use
As many romeo and juliets
As it can get.

Look what
Happened to them.

This thing's gonna
Be tip-top, baby.
Don't you worry.

Oh, I'm not worried.

I'll just call
Someone to fix it
When the bottom falls out.

Oh, ye of little faith.

Mrs. Leery, have I ever
Let you down?

No, mr. Leery, you haven't.

What do you think
He's gonna be?

If he's anything like you,
A pain in the ass.

A lot of fathers
Want their sons
To play baseball.

Not me.

Team sports
Teach conformity.

I hope he's a freak.

A freak?
Yeah.

Freaks never peak
In high school.

They never grow up
To sell real estate,

Drink heavily
On the weekends,
And beat their kids.

Well, then,
Let's hope for a freak.

Mom, you ok?

Uh...

Yeah.

For the moment.

You wanna know what
The worst part is?

What?

She'll never even know
He existed.

Not if I have anything
To do about it.

She's gonna hear
About her daddy
Every chance I get.

Oh, I'm such a mess.

I'm sorry, honey.

Mom, don't ever apologize.

You are gonna get
Your life back,
I promise.

Mom, I'm not going
Anywhere.

Not anytime soon.

My place is here
With you and lily.

Honey, you don't
Have to be so strong
All the time.

You can fall to pieces
Just about any time
You want.

There's nothing
To be ashamed of.

I'm not ashamed.

There's--

Everybody keeps on asking me,
"How you doin'?

How you feelin'?"

Truth is,
I don't feel anything.

Not a thing. I'm numb.

Which, to tell you the truth,
Is really not so bad.

Um, that's great...

Until it all
Comes crumbling down.

Well...Until then.

Ok, pacey, now...

Got your foot on the brake?

Ok, put her in reverse...

And gently--
Ohh, ooh. Careful.

Watch the flowers.
Heh heh.

My wife
Will have me killed.

And park.

There you go, pacey.
You did it.

You know how to drive.

Not terribly well,
Mind you,

But good enough
To pass that test.

Thank you for your help,
Mr. Leery.

It's my pleasure.

Just sorry your father
Had to work.

Yeah, me, too.

Go easy on him, pacey.

Can't always be fun being
Sheriff of these parts.

I guess I just wish
He was around more.

Listen, you ever
Wanna practice,

You knock on my door.

Ok?

Ok.

Hey, man.

How ya doing today?

He's still dead.
It still sucks.

Wanna go for a ride
With me?

What the hell
Are we doing here?

Wanna show you
Something.

According to my brother,
Your father was driving
Down the road here

At about 45 miles an hour.

Which is, granted,
A little bit above
The speed limit,

But not at all unusual
For this stretch of road.

At the same time,
A man named gary peters
Was getting off work,

Driving down the road
A little farther up,
Just around the bend.

Gary peters is
A pretty average guy.

35 years old,
Wife, 2 kids.

Works as
A baggage handler
For blue star airlines.

And gary had to pull
A double shift that day,

And it must've been
A real bitch

'cause when he came
Around that bend,

He was asleep
At the wheel.

Why are you doing
This, pacey?
Why?

Because I want you to know

That it was a man
Named gary peters
Who killed your father.

A guy who should've
Known better

Than to get behind
The wheel of a car.

A guy who,
For the rest
Of his life,

Will carry around
The guilt of taking
Mitch leery

Away from his wife
And 2 kids.

And I want you
To know that
That guy is not you.

It's not you, dawson.

Do not blame yourself
For this.

You wanna grieve?
You go right ahead.
Be my guest.

But do not
For one single second

Think that this
Is your fault,

Because it is not
Your fault.

You got your father
For 18 years...

And that is
A hell of a lot more
Than some people get.

And your father did
One hell of a job,
Dawson.

He made you into a man.

And he made you
Into a man that
People care about

And admire and respect

And most importantly,
Love.

So, why am I doing this?

I'm doing this because,
Once upon a time,

You and I were
Best friends.

And that means that
Whenever you need me,
I'm here.

Any time, anywhere,
Any place. Forever.

You understand that?

We should get going.

What was he like?

Well, he was a dad.

You know, in the best
Possible way, I mean.

He was warm and caring
And just the kind
Of pain in the ass

You secretly want
Your parents to be.

How's dawson doing?

I wouldn't know.

Didn't want anything
To do with me.

I thought I'd be able
To help him.

I thought I would be
This incredible resource

'cause I've been there,
You know?

He didn't want anything
From me.

He didn't even just
Wanna sit there
In silence.

He wanted me
Out of his sight.

Honey?
Yeah?

We're outta milk.
Would you mind--

I can't tell you
How sorry I am
For your loss, dawson.

Thank you, mr. Brennan.
I appreciate it.

He was here, you know.

That night. Your father.

I know.

I asked him about you.

He said, uh, you were
A royal pain in the ass.

That's me.

He was proud,
Though.

How do I know that, huh?

Well, when I mentioned
Your name,

His whole face
Just lit up.

He said you were
This brave kid,

But he had no idea
How you got to be
That way.

He said you had
A romantic streak
A mile long,

And he said he was proud
To know you.

I'm sorry if that
Makes you sad, dawson,

But I figure
If somebody
Says that about you,

You ought to know it.

Oh, don't forget
Your change.

And be certain
To convey my condolences
To your mother,

Would you?
Thank you. I will.

All right! I think
I've got it figured out.

Ok, quick. Let's go,
Everybody. Gather.

Hurry up, 'cause
What this family
Really needs

Is another picture.

Oh, don't be so fresh.

Yeah. Lose
The 'tude, dude.

Clever, dad.
Smiles, people.

All right. Great!
That was wonderful.

I am now late for the movies
With joey, jack, and jen.

Have fun, honey.

No drinking
And driving.

Hey, dad,
Just so you know,

Going to the movies
Is not code

For going out
And getting wasted.

Go, go, go.
Get out of here.

Have fun.
Later, creators.

Well,
This one's hungry.

Uh, need some help?

Nah. Stay and play
With your camera.

Boys and their toys.

Come on.