All language subtitles for Dawsons Creek S02E16 Be Careful What You Wish For 1080p NF WEB-DL DDP5 1 x264-alfaHD (1)_track3_[eng]

What's up?
I came over as soon
As I got your message.

I'm freaking out.

Why? What's the problem?

It's almost midnight.

Yeah,
It's your birthday.

In a couple of minutes,
You're gonna be 16.

Congratulations, man.
This is a major
Turning point.

Yeah. And I'm eternally lost
As a species on this planet.

Oh, this is
Gonna be bad.

I'm about to be 16 years old
In a matter of minutes,

And I'm still...Me!

The same whiny,
Adolescent,

Big-talking,
Little-doing loser
That I was a year ago.

Come on, dawson,
That's not true.

It's absolutely true.

Every single person
That I know

Is growing up and
Moving forward in some way.

All right? Joey is busy
Finding herself.

You've got this
Whole stable, do-gooder
Boyfriend thing happening.

Jen is...
Not necessarily
Moving forward,

But at least
She's moving.

Even my parents are
Starting new lives.

Me? I'm in the exact same
Place I was last year
At this time.

Uh...Uh...
Yeah, but you're
Turning 16, dawson.

Rejoice, this is a good thing.
You're getting older.

But there doesn't seem
To be anything ahead of me
But more of the same.

I'm stagnant.
No wonder joey dumped me.

I mean, the only thing
I accomplished last year

Was realizing
My feelings for her,

And I couldn't
Even hold onto her.

And she dumped me...
For a gay guy.

Could we please talk
About this whole
Gay man-straight woman thing?

There's gotta be
Something going on there
That we're not seeing.

You're right, dawson.

It's all part
Of the evil gay plan

To keep the species
From repopulating.

I would keep a close eye
On andie if I were you.

Come on, dawson.
You need to stop
Looking to the movies

For answers to all
Of life's questions, ok?

What you need to do...

Is figure out what it is
That you want

And make it happen. Ok?

Be definitive.

You're right.

I need--I need ans--
Definitive answers.

Joey is the answer.

I had her, I lost her,
And now I'm gonna get her back.

How's that for definitive?

Mitch?

Hey. You remember
My tradition

Of cooking dawson breakfast
On his birthday, right?

Well, of course.

I just thought
That--

Dad.

You didn't expect me
To forget, did you?

The usual,

For our regular customer.

Thank you.

I must say,
It's nice to have

A bit of tradition
This morning.

Uh, speaking of which,

I have to talk to your mom
In private for a second.

It's, uh,
Birthday present stuff.

Highly classified.

Look, I know we haven't
Discussed it

In light of the events
Of the past year,

But we usually do give
Joint birthday presents,

Ohh!
And I had an idea.

You know, you're a little late
For this, mitch.

I've already bought
His present.

I'm giving dawson
His first car tonight.

An explorer.

Well, that's
A big decision, gale.

Well, don't you think
It's one

We could've made
Together?

...For instance, um,
The bills, which, believe it or
Not,

Despite the fact you
Don't live here anymore,
Keep coming.

I know...

That I should
Contribute more
Financially,

And I've put
The restaurant plans
On the back burner,

And I've looked
Into substituting
At the high school.

I will help out more
As soon as I can.

But still,
A new car?

That's a pretty
Extravagant gift
For a 16 year old.

Let's go over this
One more time.

Ok. I invite
Dawson out to dinner

With andie and me
Tonight,

We keep him occupied
Till about 9:00,

At which point we make up
Some lame-ass excuse

As to why we have to
Call it an early night.

Then we drive him back
To his place, where...

I'll have set up
The most fabulous
Surprise party ever.

I hope.

I'm sure it'll be fantastic--

A testimonial
To true friendship,

The party to end all parties.

From here on out,
The leery household's
Gonna be known

As the delta house
Of capeside.

Thanks.

I don't know
Why I'm so nervous.

I've never organized
A party before.

Listen, joey,

Not to pry or anything,
But...

How are you doin'...

With the whole jack thing?

I mean, now that you've
Had some time to process.

God.

Everyone keeps asking me that
In these solemn tones,

Like I've just come down
With a terminal disease
Or something.

Pacey, the fact is

Jack is the one who's
Going through something.

And, yeah, I admit,

At first it was
Obviously a shock,

But, look, I'm fine.

Really, it's...

Hey, jack!

You guys serving
Lunch yet?

Yeah. In about,
Uh, 10 minutes.

Hey, here's some, uh,

Some menus you guys
Can look over in the meantime.

Great.

We're completely
Starving.

Are--are you
That guy?

What?

Yeah, the first guy
To ever come out
At capeside.

He--he was the one
That wrote the poem.

In the flesh.

Oh, my god,
You're the gay guy.

Tracy, kelly,
This is jack mcphee.

Capeside's no longer
Ambiguous resident.

Oh.

You know, I think
It's so great

That you came out
And you're only 16.

You know, I totally
Watched ellen

Through that whole
Tumultuous year,

And, well, she didn't
Even come out till
She was, like, 40.

Uh, c-can I get you guys
Something to drink

While you're looking
Over these menus?

You know, I just realized
You're the first
Gay person I've ever met.

It is such a waste,
Actually,

Because you are
A total babe.

Uh, yeah,
Well, you know,

I'd take that
As a compliment

If it wasn't
Coming from satan.

Jack! You have
Got me all wrong.

I'm not even
One of his helpers.

Then I should compliment you
On that clever disguise

You've been wearing
For months.

We got started off
On the wrong foot.

True, I may have been
Flawed in the past,

But...Sometimes people
Can surprise you.

I mean, you should
Know a little bit
About that yourself.

It sounds like you've had
A lot on your shoulders

For a 16-year-old girl.

Yeah.

Well, um,
After tim died

And my mother,
You know...

Um...It felt like there
Needed to be someone

To be the glue holding
The family together.

And I guess I was
The likely candidate.

It's not a big surprise
That you started
To feel overwhelmed.

Yeah, um...

I felt like I was

Juggling all these
Balls in the air
At once, you know,

And if I dropped one,
Then they'd all come
Crashing down,

And, um, then I'd just
Start thinking about
Everything all at once,

And--and I'd get
These panic attacks

Where I'd start feeling
Like my heart was racing

And I couldn't breathe,
And--

Andie, andie,
Tell me something.

Forget about saving
Everybody else

And even forget about
Your family for a minute.

What is it
That you want?

What do you wish for?

For yourself?

I wish I could get rid
Of all my worries,

You know, and--and
Be one of those people

Who just sails
Right through life.

You know, and they do
What they wanna do,

What makes them happy,

And don't care
What other people
Think about them.

Why couldn't you?

I'm going to give you
A prescription, andie.

But not for a drug.

I prescribe for you

One night of imperfection.

Here. You can get
Out of here early.

I'm sure you wanna
Get changed

Before going to dawson's.

Believe me, it's not
Gonna take me long
To get dressed.

It's not like I have
To get all gussied up
For anybody,

Seeing as though
I've turned jack off
To women completely.

Joey, you know
That's not true.

Yeah, I know.

It's not true.

I mean, intellectually,

I know that it has nothing
To do with me.

It's...

Bessie...

What am I supposed
To do now?

You paint.

You concentrate on
Your art and yourself.

You broke up with dawson
Because you wanted to
Find yourself,

Then you went straight
Into a relationship
With jack.

Maybe this is a chance
For you to do what
You set out to do.

I mean, look, any woman
Would be feeling
The way you do right now

Under the circumstances.

I think
You're handling it

With an amazing level
Of maturity.

Thanks.

Joey...

Hey. I need to talk
To you.

Sure.

What's up?

Well, looks like we
Can add arts and crafts
To your list of talents.

Ha ha.

I can feel that.

Feel what?

You.

Watching me.

I mean, you think
You're crafty,
But I know.

How?

Well, I can feel
Your eyes on me.

You cannot.

Sometimes.

Can't you?

Uh, nah...
I don't know,

I-I've never really tried.

Close your eyes.

There.

Can you feel me
Looking?

No. Not yet.

Now?

N...Nope.

Mmm.

I was peeking.
Uh-huh.

Mmm, ok, whoa. Uh,

Morning, kitchen,
Uh, grams.

God, it's freezing out.

I just wish
It would snow already.

I know.
Ohh.

Hey, remember
What we always did
When we were kids?

Make a wish on
The first snowfall?

Uh-huh.

Heh.
It always came true.

2.

Well, except for
The time I wished
For the horse,

A million dollars,
And a trampoline

All in
The same year.

I was greedy,
What can I say?

Thank you.

Well, snow is--

It's so...Hopeful,

You know?

Yeah.

Hope is good.

So what are you
Hoping for?

I'm hoping that
We can get back
To the way we were.

Me, too.

And I've really
Been trying

To get our friendship
Back on track.

I'm not talking about
Just a friendship.

Look, I can't deny
The truth,

Which is plainly
And simply I want more.

I want you back.

Dawson--

I--I was--

I was so confused
Last night,

And then I finally
Realized

That the only thing
That makes sense to me
Is you.

And I know that it's
Still there between us.

I felt it during
The whole jack saga,
I feel it right now,

And I know
You feel it, too,

Because we're soul mates.

Joey, you and I
Are meant to be.

Period. The end.
Cue happy-ending
Music.

No.

Look, dawson,

Do you remember
Why we broke up
In the first place?

It wasn't about you
At all,

And it certainly
Wasn't about jack.

It was me.

I had things that
I needed to figure out.

That you were willing
To figure out with
Jack, but not me.

No. Dawson...

We can't talk about this.
You know why--

Joey, if you and I
Are not meant to be
Together,

Then I don't know
Anything.

I wouldn't count
On snow today.

I can't believe I'm
Throwing a surprise party

For someone who hates me
Right now.

Just relax.
I'm sure everything
Will work itself out.

I mean, dawson's out
With pacey right now,
Enjoying his birthday.

By the time
He gets here,

He'll probably be
In a great mood.

I have always wanted

To sit in the back seat
Of a cop car.

Hey, I know!

Let's turn on the sirens.

I don't think that's
The best idea,
Sweetie.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!

Book 'em, danno.

So this is what it's like

When they cart you off
To prison, huh?

Depends. There's more
Than one kind of prison.

There are
The state-regulated ones,

Then ones
You get trapped in when
Your life is going nowhere

And everyone else
Seems to be moving forward.

Took a happiness pill
This morning, did we?

No, just a strong dose
Of bleak reality.

No offense,
But have you noticed
My only birthday plans

Are to play third wheel
To my friend and his girlfriend?

Ok, listen, buddy,

On any other day
Of the year,

I'd be more
Than happy to talk
To you about this,

But seeing as today
Is your birthday,

Why don't we try
And concentrate on
The positives?

Hey! Stop the car!

What? What?
What did we hit?

Nothing. Just make a u-turn.
I saw a really cool place
Back there.

Ok, uh...

Andie...

Could we please keep
This impulsive streak

That you're trying
To indulge tonight

From killing everybody
In this car? Please, honey?

Uh...Doctor's orders.

Remember, pacey?

You promised I could
Cut loose tonight.

Yes, I did,
Didn't I?

Mm-hmm.

Ok.

Oh, my god.

I mean, jack,
You look amazing.

Wow, it's like
The transformation
From john-boy to john-john

Was all in a jar
Of dippity-doo.

It's no big deal.
I put a little gel in my hair.

That's pretty much
The extent of it.

I guess you get gay,
You get style.

I wish I had nabbed you
One sexual preference
Ago.

Hello, ty.

Excellent.

You're learning.

Uh-huh.

Mmm.

Ok.

Explanation.

What?

Well, first this morning
And then right now,

That's 2 kisses that you've
Bailed out on today.

Ok, it's just that
We've been getting
Closer, you know?

I know,
It's called dating.

I realize that,
But when does it stop?

You're kidding, right?

Jen, uh, you...

You turn me on.

And the closer we get,
The more you turn me on.

Is that such a bad thing?

A-all I'm saying is

Is that it's possible
That things could get
Out of hand.

Really?

How out of hand?

Look, I'm serious.

We've barely made out,

And you're already
Worried about things
Going out of hand.

It's sweet.

In a very 1956
Sort of way.

Oh, yeah?

Well, how 1956
Is this?

Whoa. Who are you,

And what
Have you done
With my girlfriend?

She's been here all along.

Just trapped beneath
The bondage of gap clothing
And a good-girl complex.

Why,
The good-girl complex
Was part of your charm.

part of my charm.

Not all of it.

Remember, we're having fun.

Besides, marlie said I have
To learn to let my id out

To breathe some fresh air
For an evening.

What exactly are you letting
Out for an evening?

It's what freud
Calls your id.

It's the part of you
That holds your purest
Impulses and desires.

And it doesn't judge or
Care what anyone thinks,

It just...
Wants what it wants.

And what do you
Think it wants?

Well, it's about
Letting go of all
Your preconceived notions

Of how you're
Supposed to talk

Or how you're supposed
To behave and...

Just letting loose
For once.

I could certainly
Learn something
About letting loose.

Look at me, I'm sitting
In a bar, I'm drinking
A straight coke.

Well, we could do it
Together, if you want.

I mean, it might be good
For both of us to get
A little wild tonight.

Just try not
To get too wild

While I'm away
At the washroom, ok?

Can I get you guys
Anything else?

Uh, yeah.

I'll have another coke,

And could you tell
The bartender

To put a little more rum
In it this time?

Yeah, me, too. I can barely
Even taste the rum in mine.

Oh, sorry about that.

I'll have him double
The shots in the next round
To make up for it.

Thank you.

Yaagh!

Have you ever drank
Before?

Never.
Me, neither!

So, how does it feel
To be the one

Who set this little
Hamlet on its ears?

Why do you keep
Talking to me?

I don't like you, abby.

Well, that's 'cause
No one likes me.

I'm an outcast.
Welcome to the club.

Heh.

This whole thing
Is just so ridiculous.

There's no such thing
As gay, anyway.

Just this weird label
People came up with

To persecute
The normal inclination

To go both ways.

What do you--
What you mean?

Well, we're all bisexual,
Don't you think?

We're all just
Sexual animals
Under god.

This puritanical society
Would make you think

Our natural impulses are
Something to be ashamed of.

When it's really
Those kinds of attitudes

That are the embarrassment.

Don't you think?

♪ chicks were born
To give you fever ♪

♪ be it fahrenheit
Or centigrade ♪

♪ they give you fever
When you kiss them ♪

♪ fever if you
Live and learn... ♪

How you guys doing?

I think we're ready
For another round.

Sounds good to me.

2 more coming up.

How many cokes are you guys
Gonna swill tonight?

♪ what a lovely way
To burn ♪

Well, all right.
As you can probably tell,

It's open mike night
Tonight.

So who wants to come up here
And sing the blues for us?

I know a little something
About the blues.

All right. Come on,
Then, let's go.

I don't think that's
The best idea,
Do you, sweetheart?

Sure, it is.

Oh, boy.

Guys, blues riff.

You got it.

Heh heh.

♪ my name is dawson leery ♪

♪ I'm feelin' kinda weary ♪

♪ today is my birthday ♪

♪ y'all look
A little bleary ♪

♪ the girl that I care for
Left me and ran away ♪

♪ straight into the arms ♪

♪ of a guy who turned out
To be gay! ♪

♪ I got the blues ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ today I woke up feelin' like
I was born to lose ♪

♪ yeah, I got the blues ♪

♪ some days
You were born to lose ♪

♪ and my friend andie,
She's gonna sing a song ♪

♪ 'cause she's got
The blues, go ♪

♪ my name is andie ♪

♪ and my brother's
The one who's gay ♪

♪ my other brother died ♪

♪ and my daddy went away ♪

♪ but I'm still andie ♪

♪ and my boyfriend
Makes me randy ♪

♪ his name is pacey ♪

♪ and my mom's gone
Completely crazy! ♪

♪ I got the blues ♪

Oh, that's right.
You sing it, sister.

♪ yeah, sometimes you swear
You were born to lose ♪

♪ oh, we got the blues ♪

♪ now it's time to put on
My dancin' shoes ♪

♪ whoo ♪

♪ whoo ♪

All right.

All right.

♪ I been restless,
Hopeless, and confused ♪

♪ this girl that
I told you about ♪

♪ she's been on the move ♪

♪ she's at
My surprise party ♪

♪ where everyone I know
Is right now ♪

♪ when I show up
Late there ♪

♪ they're all gonna
Have a cow! ♪

♪ yeah, I got the blues ♪

♪ you swear sometime
You were born to lose ♪

♪ ow, no, brother man,
We got the blues ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ we got the blues ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ sometimes you know ♪

♪ you were born to lose ♪

♪ oh, yeah ♪

Whoo-hoo, dawson!

What do you say
We end this evening
On a high note

And get off to that
Not-so-surprise party?

I think we're having
A dirty, low-down time
Right here.

Hear, hear.

What's gotten into
You two tonight?

It's his birthday.
That's right.

So, what do you
Wanna do next?

Mmm...

Ahh...You guys have
Been drinking.

Excuse me, waitress.

Make this one
A double this time

With just
A splash of coke.

Actually, you know what?
A splash is too much.

How about just a spla?
No "Sh" at all.

No "Sh." heh heh.

Before I bring you
Anything else,

The bartender asked me
To check your I.D.S.

Check our I.D.S?

Ok, you should've
Done that 5 drinks ago,

Because you know what?
We are 16 years old.

No, we are.
And you know what?

You, little missy,
Have just broken
The law.

You could lose
Your job over this.

Not only could you
Lose your job,

But you could lose
Your liquor license.
You know what?

This is my boyfriend,
And his father
Is the town sheriff.

Dawson, now. Up, up.
Now. Help me out.

Hey, listen,
She's kidding.
It's a joke.

I'm not.
My I.D.'s here.
Wanna see it?

I'll show it to you.
I'll show it.

What are you thinking,
Huh? 16 years old.

So, I was out in the garage.
Saw the explorer.

Very beautiful.

Quite a gift.

Of course, I always thought
That dawson's first car

Would be something like I had
When I was a boy, you know,

Some old jalopy
Or something.

Of course,
It's your decision.

Mmm. Well, it seems that
A lot of things that
Came with this marriage

Are my decision
These days.

Except, of course,
The decision about
The marriage itself.

Ok, we have to stop.

I can't do this.

I'm sorry, jen.

You should be.

Well, it's not
Entirely my fault.

Oh, really? What role
Am I playing in your
Personal inner struggle?

Y-y-you're tempting me.

That's a load of crap.

I'm sorry, jen.

But as attracted
As I am to you,

I don't believe
In premarital sex.

And no matter what
You say or do

Is not gonna convince me
That it's right.

Who said anything
About sex?

Jen, I just mean that
It's perfectly clear

That with your history,
Kissing isn't just kissing.

It leads to other things.

My history?

Jen...

We're types of people.

And just as I'm likely to be
Found in church on sunday...

I'm more of
A saturday night slut.

I didn't say that.

How come I have never
Felt more like one?

His own party, and he's
Not even here yet.

What a guy.

Do you really
Think it's true,

What you said earlier
About everyone having
Bisexual inclinations?

Oh, absolutely.

You know, the joey
And dawsons of this world

Are pretty advanced
For their age in other ways,

But with
All the time they spend
Contemplating their navels,

You'd think
They'd be a little more
Open to the possibilities.

Yeah. Yeah. You know,
You're right.

There's a whole world
Of possibilities in there.

Heh heh. In here, too.

Heh heh heh.

Maybe you're not satan
After all.

Of course, I don't think
Satan has a bellybutton.

Well, us outcasts
Have to learn
To stick together.

Surprise!

Hi.

Happy birthday!

You're late. This party
Is a complete disaster.

I know.
Don't get me started.

Are they?

Yes, they are. Rum and cokes.
They got past me.

Ahh...

Whoo-hoo.

Whoo! Heh heh heh!

Whoo-hoo.

Come on. Ok, guys,
Come on.

You wanna dance?

What?

Hey, it's my birthday.
I can do whatever I want.

Shh. No, we have to get
You upstairs before
Your parents see you.

Come on.

What's up!
I'm gonna
Sit you down,

And get some coffee
Into your system.

God knows, it probably
Won't do much to help,

But it's the only thing
I can think of right now.

I got the blues, jo.

Do you know anything
About the blues?

More than I care to.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

♪ the guy I was
Talkin' about ♪

♪ who said he was gay ♪

♪ got a new hairdo ♪

♪ and he decided
To swing both ways ♪

♪ I got the blues... ♪

Joey...

I can't deal
With this, ok?

♪ yeah, sometimes ♪

♪ you were born to...Lose ♪

Joey.

Joey.

Joey!

Not so gay
Anymore.

More gay than ever.

Ah, perfect timing,
Honey.

I was just
Gonna call you
To come down

After I lit
The candles.

Is it time
To make a wish?

Dawson, honey,
Have you been drinking?

Time to make
A wish, ok.

Let's make a wish.

A wish.

I wish...

That my mom
Never slept with
Her co-anchor.

I wish that
My father...

Would stop talking
About getting a job

And actually go out
And get one...Heh heh...

And I wish that the
Two of you would stop
Your petty bickering

And at least pretend
To be the adults
Around here.

I wish that
My best friend, pacey,

Would just end
This transformation

Into do-gooder, "A" student,
And all-around sanctimonious
Teen angel

And just go back
To what he does best,

Which is make me
Feel good about my life

Because his
Is supposed to be worse.

And there's jen lindley,
With her drunkenness and
Her revolving boyfriends

And her wild, wicked ways.

I wanna party with you.

Ah, and there's
Jack mcphee--

Jack mcphee, who likes guys,
But doesn't mind stealing
My girlfriend.

Tonight,
Ladies and gentlemen,

Starring in his very own
Version of in and out.

He's in. He's out!

In. Out. Nice hair,
By the way.

Heh heh heh...

And then, of course,
There's my joey.

My sweet...
Precious joey...

The only 16-year-old
In the world who needed
To find herself.

You know--
You know what?

That's--that's ok.
I accept that.

You need to find yourself...
And I accept it.

Right? So, joey?

J-j-joey? Wh-where's--
Where's my--excuse me.

Joey? Joey?
Joey? Excuse me, mom.

Joey, are you..?

Joey? Joey?

There she is.

There she is.
It's my joey.

Joey!

Cut it out, dawson!

Ohh...Ohh...
Oh, god...

Pacey's right.
It's all my fault.

Ohhh...Ghaaa...

Or is it
My id's fault?

id it my fault?
Ohhh...

I've learned one thing
From my initiation

Into the evils of alcohol...

That is
Be careful what you eat

Because you're gonna
See it again.

Oh, and again...
And again...

And again.

Oh, god...Ohhh...

I swear...
I am never
Drinking again.

Oh, god,
I am so mortified at
My behavior tonight.

And to think
That your parents
Saw me this way.

God...If I survive
This night...

If anybody in my life
Ever speaks to me again,

I swear I'll never let
Another drop of alcohol
Touch my lips.

And if you ever
See me pick up
A drink,

please remind me
Of how I'm feeling
Right now.

Deal.

Have we
Completely screwed up
Our son's life?

No. He's 16 years old.

You remember
Being 16 years old,
Don't you?

All too well.

Well, I'm taking
The explorer back to
The dealer tomorrow.

His behavior tonight
Proves to me

He's not ready for
The responsibility
Of a new car.

It was, I admit,
Possibly not

The soundest decision
I've ever made.

We could, uh...
Go in on some old car
Together for him,

If you want.

Sounds like a plan.

Maybe we could cover
The down payment,

And then he could work
To pay off the rest.

You know, maybe learn
Something about
The value of money.

And mistakes.

I guess we're all
Still learning
About that.

Hey.

Hey.

You know, it's--

It's bad enough
That I organized

The world's worst
Surprise party, jack,
But, um...

Abby?

I mean, after what she
Did to your family and
Everyone else, I...

I don't know.
I guess I just thought

That if you were gonna
Go straight again,

You would've chosen
Someone like...

Cindy crawford
Or something.

Everyone's been
Telling me...

How ok they are

You...

Pacey...

That overzealous
Guidance counselor.

Sorry for being
So accepting.

Would you rather
Everyone just turned
Against you?

No. It's just...

It's just that...
She was saying some
Things tonight

That made me feel
I was just like
Everybody else.

I guess I saw what I
Could've become from
This whole thing.

Somebody on
The fringes
Like abby.

So, if we hadn't
Walked in...

I still would've
Stopped it.

I realized from
The minute that I
Started, that I was...

That I am gay.

You know, jack,
It...

I think everyone feels alone
And wants to be normal,

And I don't think anyone
Ever really does.

But...I don't wanna
Be singled out...

You know, like I
Have some scarlet "G"
On my chest,

You know? Like
I'm the "Ellen"
Of capeside.

We're all going through
The painful process
Of growing up.

You just have
This extra layer
Of difficulty.

But...You're incredibly
Lucky to have people
Who support you.

Just don't lose sight
Of that.

Yeah.

I...

I guess the thought
Of being gay just...

Seemed like such
A lonely thought.

I just don't wanna
End up alone.

I don't think we should
See each other anymore.

So, you waited on a
Freezing cold porch

To tell me what
Was perfectly clear
2 hours ago?

I just need
To explain myself.

You know what?
You don't. It's simple.

You have natural,
God-given impulses

That everybody
In your life has told
Are wrong to follow.

And so,
Instead of growing
Your own conscience,

You prefer to drag me
Through your grief

And I'm not going
To stand for it.

Jen, jen, you need
To understand

That all of my life
Has been about the church.

The teachings, the beliefs,
They're all I know.

Ok, so let me see if
I have this straight.

You're a christian,

But you like
To booze it up,

And you like to party.

Right? And you judge
People for being gay.

You go around acting
Like heterosexual sex
Is the way of the lord,

But you won't actually
Have heterosexual sex.

Look, I--I know
It sounds complicated.

I am struggling
With the fact

That I am a teenage guy

With all of the desires
That go along with that.

Desires that are in
Direct opposition

Of everything that
I've--I've ever been
Taught to believe.

And when I'm with you,
All sense of reason
Just flies out of my head.

Because you're so beautiful

And sexy

And I want you so badly.

I am so sorry that I hurt
Your feelings tonight.

Please understand
That this is about me,

And it has nothing
To do with you.

Ty, this has everything
To do with me.

I liked you.

I know.

No, you don't.

No, I mean
I really liked you.

And--and despite what
You may think about
My past experience,

When I kissed you
Tonight,

That wasn't my desire
For something more.

It was for
Something pure.

Something that I haven't
Felt in a long time,

But you ruined that.

Maybe--

Maybe--maybe some day,
When I deal with my baggage,

Then maybe
This can work out.

Anybody who can
Make me feel like this

Doesn't deserve a maybe.

Hey.

How you doing?

I'll be fine...

Once the room
Stops spinning.

I'm sure you'll be
Better in the morning.

God, joey,
Whatever I said,
I am so sorry.

Don't worry
About it, dawson.

Dawson,
I forgive you.

I mean, even you
Are allowed to make

A few mistakes
In this world.

And I'm sure that
Everybody else

Will forgive you
Eventually, too.

You pretty much told
The truth, anyway.

Oh, but the way
I did it was--

I'm so lonely.

I'm 16 years old and
I'm so hopelessly lonely.

Is that why
You got drunk?

Yeah.

Jo, why did you
Break up with me

And run straight to jack?

Because he wasn't you.

Look, it was never about

Looking for something
Better, dawson.

It was about looking
For someone who...

Wasn't so close to me.

So I could tell where
I ended and he began.

I mean, our lives
Have always been
So intertwined

That, in many ways,

I feel
Like you partially
Invented me, dawson.

And that scares me
So much.

I need to find out
If I'm capable

Of being a whole
Person without you.

I need to find out if I
Can be a whole person...

Alone.

Do it quickly. Ok?

Because...

God, I love you.

I love you, too, dawson.