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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 1 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,117 Oh, Eds, photo shoot in Paris has a ring to it! 2 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:30,717 Bubble, just try them again! 3 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,957 To have their photograph taken with me for the magazine. 4 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,832 Here's my list. 5 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:37,871 Liv Tyler, Kate Beckinsale... 6 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,632 All right. Emma Bunton. Try Emma Bunton. 7 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,196 What magazine is it, darling? It's Tatler or Harpers. 8 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:49,154 The wonderful thing is it's not my magazine. I have no responsibility. 9 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,475 I'm just going to be a model, modelling. 10 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,909 Who's in charge of it, sweetheart? 11 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,393 Candy Bender. 12 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,715 Candy de Denison-Bender. Try her. 13 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,116 Oh, try Chloe Sevigny. She might want to be my daughter. 14 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,231 No, it's for Paris tomorrow. 15 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:04,998 What do you mean? 16 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,031 Today! Darling, it's today! 17 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,230 It's too late. Too late. Forget it. 18 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:13,149 Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! 19 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,671 Oh, darling, who was that? 20 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:19,588 Kate Beckinsale, Chloe Sevigny, Thora Birch and Emma Bunton. 21 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,509 - You know what this means? - What's that? 22 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,870 Saffy's going to have to be my daughter. 23 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,030 Never mind, Eddie. Now, hurry up. 24 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,835 Erin said she's going to meet us at the Eurostar. Eddie, hurry up! 25 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,758 gloves, scarves, shoes. gloves, scarves, shoes. 26 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:38,996 Oh, a model's life. 27 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:49,434 Ciao. 28 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,474 Professionalism, punctuality, and... 29 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,516 More lips, more face, more nose, sharper cheeks. 30 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,559 Darling? Pats, Pats, Pats. For Saff? 31 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,552 Yeah? Fabulous. 32 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,074 You're fabulous. 33 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,674 Saff. 34 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,189 Saff, Saff. Saff, darling. 35 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,909 It's only me, darling. It's all right. 36 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,270 It's not all right. What do you want? 37 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:51,992 It's time to get up. Come on. 38 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,351 We're going to Paris. You promised you'd do this for me. 39 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:56,833 Come on, darling. 40 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,713 You said you'd get someone else to do it. 41 00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:02,354 Well, I tried Liv Tyler and Kate Beckinsale. 42 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,599 Joke. 43 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,312 I know it's not. 44 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:12,118 Oh, don't go limp again! Come on, get up, get up. 45 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:15,118 Day in Paris. You can look at things. 46 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,151 Come on, sweetheart, darling. 47 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,396 You are my daughter - sad, but true. 48 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,598 - We will be back by tonight? - Yes. Just one day. 49 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:28,395 Come here, sweetheart. Look. Mama's left some clothes for you. 50 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:32,556 All right? That'll be lovely on you. Look, sweetheart. 51 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,514 And don't worry about all this. They'll sort all this out. OK? 52 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,232 get dressed, sweetheart. 53 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,439 I'm your mother. I have seen your tits before. 54 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,079 No, you haven't. 55 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,472 We've all got 'em, darling. 56 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,197 Come on, quick, quick, quick. Speed, speed. 57 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,918 Darling, is this an article or the whole edition? 58 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,350 Candy says it's the whole edition. Generation Flex. 59 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,869 Your bit will be just a little insert. 60 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,753 The fashion - that's me and Erin - the spreads. 61 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,234 The cover. 62 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,478 Oh, Eddie, modelling again! Going on a photo shoot. 63 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,591 It's just like the old times, babe. 64 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,075 Do you need all this stuff? It's only a day. 65 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,351 Darling, as a model, you have to be prepared. 66 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,836 Good nails, teeth, hair, and a look that says to the photographer, 67 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,396 "There's nothing I won't do to make your life easier. " 68 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:46,069 Yeah. That's lovely, darling. That's gorgeous, love. 69 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,669 Beautiful. Say Thursday. 70 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,712 - Thursday. - Lovely. Say Thursday again. 71 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,512 Thursday. 72 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,870 More movement, love. Beautiful. 73 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,513 Thursday. 74 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,594 - Thurs... - Why is she coming? 75 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,519 She's doing the fashion thing with Erin O'Connor - 76 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,278 the face of now. 77 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,550 Same as us. Young and old. 78 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,193 You're not old, Eddie. 79 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,712 Did you hear that? 80 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,117 What are you wearing? 81 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,390 What are you wearing? Look at this! 82 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,075 That shirt is trying to strangle you. 83 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:25,909 Why does everything you wear look like it's bearing a grudge? 84 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:32,078 You've got a wardrobe full of little murderers. Look at them. 85 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,358 Who else is doing our article? 86 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,950 Jerry Hall's got Lizzie Jagger. Goldie Hawn's got Kate Hudson. 87 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,310 - Ivana's got Ivanka. - Inevitably. 88 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,829 - And I've got little Erin O'Connor. - Erin. 89 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,234 It all sounds sad. 90 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,271 It's not sad, actually, darling. 91 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,190 It's all about this great idea. If you can be interesting at 20, 92 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,551 you can be interesting at 30, 40, 50, 60. 93 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,311 Eddie, I'm 42! 94 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,870 Well, I hope I'll be more interesting. 95 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,036 Well, hallelujah! Don't we all? 96 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,712 Anyway, once a party girl, always a party girl. 97 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,149 If you can still get a straw up your nose... 98 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,111 The world is your toilet seat! 99 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,039 That's Candy Bender. 100 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,196 - She's the fashion... - Deputy sub... 101 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,356 With the magazine, anyway. 102 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,471 Go and answer the door, darling! 103 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,830 Tell him we're meeting Erin at the station! 104 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,872 Oh, Erin, sweet little thing. She just worships me. 105 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,390 She thinks I'm cool. I'm a bit of a role model here. 106 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,831 Shut up. Shut up about Erin. 107 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,996 Now, where are my G-string panty pads? 108 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,474 Ooh. 109 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,918 What are you doing? 110 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,669 Well, I'm not dressed like this to stay here and eat whelks. 111 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,711 Hello, darling. Can you get rid of that for me? 112 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,558 A little present from Fisty. 113 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,996 Come on, guys. We're going to be late! 114 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,953 - We're coming. - Erin's meeting us at the station. 115 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,799 Who's the photographer? Lichfield, Bailey? 116 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,273 - Rimmer. - Rimmer? 117 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,312 - Dazed And Confused. - Like Patsy. 118 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:20,195 Oh, Rimmer! Rimmer. I love Rimmer. And, darling, what's the mood? 119 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,912 Yves St Laurent... 120 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:23,837 - I love it! ... trailer trash. 121 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,678 I'll sort it out when we get there. 122 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,839 You! What are you doing here? You silly tit, dressed like a tit. 123 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,838 You're not coming. You haven't got a ticket. 124 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,713 - You have to be chipped! - Chip! Chip! 125 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:39,037 She's talking to you. Actually, has your dog been chipped? 126 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,958 - What? - They won't let it in. 127 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:45,789 - Are you sure? - Yes. A dog needs its own passport. 128 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,309 Erin? No, we're meeting her at the station. 129 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,795 I must ring Minge. Get her to look after Fisty. 130 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,229 - Chicken licking! - Undo your top button! 131 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:56,750 I'm not asking you to get your tatters out. Just undo your button. 132 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,199 Got everything? Oh! 133 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,276 Money, tickets, passport. 134 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,150 Bring those, Dave. Put this there. 135 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,952 Oh, Erin! Erin! Erin! 136 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,354 Patsy. 137 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,435 - Bit bloody early, isn't it? - Early? 138 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:19,233 In my day, this wasn't early, this was yesterday. 139 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:20,759 Do you know Rimmer? 140 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,110 Yes. I love Rimmer. Do you know Candy? 141 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:25,196 - No. - Lady Candida Denison-Bender. 142 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:27,117 Candy de Bender. Candy Bender. 143 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,310 I'm afraid I don't. Shall we? 144 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,079 Yes. Oh, just us. 145 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,599 Just us. 146 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:34,994 Erin, Erin. 147 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,318 Bitch, Minge. 148 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,193 Minge won't take Fisty. You'll have to go without me. 149 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,595 Tie him up here and we'll pick him up later. 150 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,676 No, don't. I know how that feels. 151 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,109 Rimmer knows what he's doing. He'll be fine. 152 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,959 That's a nice little bag. I've got a little bag. 153 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,230 Shame she couldn't come with us. 154 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,078 - What's this? - It's a guide book. 155 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,350 You are not bringing that with you. No! 156 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:59,790 - But I want to see Paris. - Put that away! 157 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,557 Put that book down, will you? 158 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:16,349 - She's a friend of mine. - She's a friend of mine, too. 159 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:20,758 Rimmer, did you do Jerry Hall and Lizzie Jagger? Were they outrageous? 160 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:25,476 They were great. They had a real kind of machismo bitch thing going. 161 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:33,150 Put the passport down. No one wants to see that. 162 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,476 - Can I see your photo? - It's awful... 163 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,034 - I'll give you mine. - It's Rosa Klebb! 164 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,718 Yours can't be bad. 165 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,558 Pretty, isn't she? 166 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,437 God, you're much younger than me. 167 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:50,028 Living with my mother makes me look old. 168 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,715 - Look at mine. - I love that angle. 169 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,758 See mine? My face doesn't normally look like this. 170 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,713 - It's too close to the camera. - It's a good photo. 171 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,229 - The photographer caught something. - Syphilis. 172 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,353 Stop it! Will you just grow up?! 173 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,392 Who's Rosa Klebb? 174 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,875 Why does no one ever mean anything to you? 175 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,316 Rosa Klebb was the ugliest woman... 176 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:22,310 The second ugliest woman in the world. She was in that Bond... 177 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,237 Who was the Bond in that Bond? 178 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,830 - There's only one Bond, darling. - Erin, Sean was the Bond. 179 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:31,236 Sean? Right. I think that was before I was born. 180 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,833 That's lovely. 181 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:39,154 - Pats? - Yeah? 182 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,918 We're still in the tunnel. 183 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,192 Where are we going? 184 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,198 - Here. - Caf� de Flore. 185 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,515 Yes. Go on, little man. 186 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,956 Put it on for fun. No! I am not your accessory. 187 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,672 To get rid of that death pallor! 188 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,313 I'll do it myself! 189 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,396 What is wrong with this? Tell her. 190 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,954 Look, no. I shall do it myself. 191 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,794 I've got everything with me. I've got shoes, bags, scarves, gloves. 192 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,519 - Patsy. - Yes, darling. 193 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,915 I think they just really want a clean look. 194 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:33,033 Clean? I know what clean means, darling. I'm in the business. 195 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,993 Clean means... It means you look like nothing. 196 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,031 You look like a little smudge. 197 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,789 Because some talentless misogynist wants you to look like shit! 198 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,238 No, no, no. 199 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,712 Rimmer, do us first because we're ready. 200 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,798 I know. It doesn't get much better than this, I'm afraid. 201 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,194 Get off! 202 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,515 Doesn't it make you sick sometimes 203 00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:00,076 to be made to look as though you've been dragged out of the gutter 204 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,873 or been shooting up in some toilet 205 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,436 in some soiled Agent Provocateur ripped T-shirt? 206 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,034 Oh, Erin, Erin! No! Not you. 207 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,397 Not you, Erin. Darling, not you. 208 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,318 I was just thinking back to when we were models. 209 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,919 We had to be glamorous. 210 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,918 We were goddesses. Me and Shrimpton, 211 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,759 and Twiggy, and Peggy Moffit, 212 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,189 Veroushka and Annegret, 213 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:30,951 Lauren Hutton. That was New York, Paris and Rome. 214 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:35,039 I've got to do the models first. It's a mindset thing. 215 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,559 What models? 216 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,432 It's not just those two. 217 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,236 Foale and Tuffin, mink hems 218 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,828 and patchwork panne velvet. 219 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,990 I don't think it was quite like that. 220 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,599 Annegret! 221 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,469 Come on, Patsy. Pull yourself together. 222 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,677 Annegret, what's wrong with her? 223 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,279 I don't know. 224 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,597 I employed her because she said she was a friend of yours. 225 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,039 I hardly know her. 226 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:06,511 - What are you doing here? - We're doing this generation thing. 227 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:07,914 We? 228 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:12,638 But it's only moisturiser. It's not make-up as such. 229 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,317 Erin, you look gorgeous. 230 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,318 I hope he lets me keep this top on. It'll be freezing. 231 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,996 And what'll I be wearing? 232 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,596 No! Eddie! 233 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,631 - You'll be all right. - Eddie! 234 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,591 I'll send up some champagne. 235 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,039 No! 236 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,598 No! 237 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:47,718 Let's have doo croissants and doo cafes. 238 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,398 Deux caf�s, deux croissants. 239 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,193 - That's so embarrassing. - It's not embarrassing. 240 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:58,233 Not as embarrassing as you looking like some tourist, darling. 241 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,271 You see everything but yourself. 242 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:04,188 You always have the best view because you're not looking at you. 243 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,151 Put that away! Put that away. 244 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,553 - Where are you going? - I'm not sitting here all day. 245 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,989 They're going to phone us about the photo. 246 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,998 Then let's go. I want to see Paris. I'm going on my own. 247 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:21,237 You are not because you will do a runner! I know you. 248 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,873 - What? - Vous n'avez pas pay� I� haut. 249 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,389 - He wants you to pay. - C' est pas pay� I� haut. 250 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,474 Les medames sou la scalatier pay. 251 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,238 I will not wear denim! 252 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,113 Ask Erin. Erin knows about me and denim. 253 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,789 Champagne, champagne, pronto. Sou scalier. Champagne. 254 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,799 If that bitch comes near me with a wet wipe, I'll shove it up her arse! 255 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:46,593 Where do you want to go? 256 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,473 The Louvre? 257 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:50,873 Arc de Triomphe? 258 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:53,433 Notre Dame? 259 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,472 - Seen that. - When? I don't believe you. 260 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,158 - I saw it in London. - What? 261 00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,872 With Danii Minogue, darling. 262 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,713 The church! not the musical. You haven't seen the church. 263 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,114 - The church. - Right. 264 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,470 Then you'll have to follow me. 265 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,955 OK, girls. When I say it... Are you ready? 266 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,559 And turn! 267 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,432 OK. One more time. No smiling this time. Let's do it. 268 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:19,073 Give me mood. Face that way. 269 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,919 Wait for me to say it and... turn! 270 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,513 Right, you. 271 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:28,269 I don't like what you're doing - all this with your face. 272 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,753 Fromage frais! 273 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:35,318 Why do we have such crap when everything here is so nice? 274 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,876 Mm? They dress their meat better than we dress ourselves. 275 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,436 You could take a lesson from that. Dead flesh with dignity. 276 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,111 Dead but with dignity. 277 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:48,073 When I die, I want to be dressed by a French butcher. 278 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,350 Some people think you already have been. 279 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:51,879 Look, darling. 280 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,719 Duck � L'orange with tangerine accessories. 281 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,239 We just have crap. 282 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,796 Patsy, you don't have to smile like that. 283 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:03,469 I wasn't smiling. I just shouldn't be standing next to Daphne! 284 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,068 If she wasn't your friend, I'd get rid of her. 285 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,792 I hardly know her. 286 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,717 Come on! One more time. Get with it. Face that way. 287 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:16,309 No smiling this time. One more. 288 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,158 And turn. 289 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,476 Why don't we stop somewhere? 290 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:27,593 Look, darling. People with bent legs sitting on strange wooden artefacts. 291 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,199 Caf�. Sit. 292 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,355 God, shops. Look, darling. Shops. 293 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:36,109 Those are the same shops you have in London. You can shop in London. 294 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:39,391 I don't want to go to a French Virgin Records or a McDonalds 295 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,476 or a Walt Disney Store! 296 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,034 We're living in a global shopping mall, 297 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,435 and you still think there's a bloody exit. 298 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,718 Little man. 299 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:52,276 Oh, God. Where are we going now, darling? 300 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,596 You are allowed to walk slowly. It's not against the law here. 301 00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:01,077 What's in your rucksack? Crampons to conquer the Eiffel Tower? 302 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:05,078 Darling, darling, don't go so fast. You'll lose me. 303 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,236 Lose you? They can see you from space. 304 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,476 You and the Great Wall of China. 305 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,029 Oi, Rimmer, are these two really necessary? 306 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,114 - Oh! - Oh! 307 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,151 Thank God for that. It is you. 308 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,472 What's the matter with you? 309 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,511 You look very faint. 310 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,312 Like the photocopier is running out of ink. 311 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:30,597 Like you've been roneoed and roneoed and roneoed 312 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,029 and roneoed over and over... 313 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,272 and this is the very last copy. 314 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:43,992 I am looking into the future and it's not very pretty. 315 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,796 Why can't we have any fun? Why can't we go on the wheel? 316 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,672 Stop it! Stop moaning! 317 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,030 - We're going to go to the gallery. - No. 318 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,993 And if there's a queue, we can have a nice cup of tea. 319 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:03,872 - No. Ah... - Sit in a nice garden. 320 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:09,239 Look who you've turned into. Look who you've turned into. 321 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,512 Come along, Edwina dear. 322 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,950 One more attraction and then it's back to the campsite. 323 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,832 Daddy will have the tea on. 324 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,837 The flask is quite empty now. 325 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,235 I don't like their milk. 326 00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:24,191 It's not disinfectanted. 327 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,594 Like them, dear. 328 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:29,508 Don't let them catch your eye or they may say something to you. 329 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,679 Oh, here's your lunch. 330 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:37,112 I would have had it filled, but your father had the phrasebook. 331 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,474 Come along, dear. 332 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:45,319 We are sophisticated human beings, darling. We don't need this! 333 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,876 All right, then. I don't want to be like that. 334 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,595 - What? - I mean, what should we do? 335 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:56,429 - What? - What would you and Patsy do? 336 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,271 Oh. Well... 337 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,152 Patsy? 338 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,795 Well, it's a city full of beautiful shops. We'd go shopping. 339 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,629 Have a drink in a bar, go shopping, few little things, shopping, drink, 340 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,035 shopping, drink, lunch at Costes. 341 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,270 Shopping, stop for another drink, 342 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,358 then we'd go up the Eiffel Tower and get our tits out. 343 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,831 Oh, all right, then. Let's do it. 344 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,039 Let's do your day. 345 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,390 - There you go, darling. Cheers. - Cheers. 346 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:38,399 - Cheers, sweetheart. - Mm. It's very nice. 347 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:39,999 That's wine, sweetheart. 348 00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:42,350 Yes, I know. It's a very good Chablis. 349 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,912 It's overpriced. 350 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,792 - Sweetheart. - Sorry. 351 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,997 - I like these lamps. - Yes. 352 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,392 Don't change the house again. 353 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,475 No, I won't, darling. I won't. I won't. 354 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,636 - It is just the two of us. - Yes. 355 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,430 Christian! Christian! Christian! Ello! 356 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,279 - I'm not wearing your clothes. - I'm so happy. 357 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,033 That was Lacroix. 358 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,310 I know, Mum. He made my wedding dress. 359 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,311 Look at that Buddha, sweetheart. 360 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,159 - I wonder how it got in here. - Do you? 361 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,435 Better not let the Taliban know it's here. 362 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,832 You put yourself in that line. Very nice, very beautiful. 363 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:30,078 Get in order in a line simply from youngest to oldest. 364 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,112 How many times do I have to explain this? 365 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:34,953 I'm 42! 366 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:36,593 You wish! 367 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,350 So what makes a place "the place"? 368 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,553 You mean the place to be? 369 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,470 - Well, you do, darling. - Oh. 370 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,193 No. Not you, darling. 371 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,868 - No, I know. - Who goes there. 372 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,834 Buddha understands me. Buddha understands. 373 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,711 Darling, if you have a fatwa on you, does it make you fat? 374 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,039 No. 375 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:07,753 Will you tell Patsy that? 376 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,273 Patsy? 377 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,356 Oh, Smasher Distel! 378 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,630 - Patsy Stone? - Oi! 379 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,274 Patsy? 380 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,320 Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else. 381 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,596 This is lovely. Look at that fireplace. 382 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,917 Sh, darling. Just relax. 383 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:40,669 They know it's lovely. They don't need you to tell them. 384 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,916 Look down your nose a little bit at it. 385 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,878 Stop it. 386 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:51,034 Open the menu. Open the menu. When the waiter comes, 387 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:55,438 read something off the menu, don't ask about it. It's all good food. 388 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,713 Mesdames, bonjour. Vous avez fait votre choix? 389 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:01,233 Aricots verts. 390 00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:03,191 Vous les voulez chauds ou froids? 391 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,913 It's OK, Mum. Une minute, s'il vous pla�t. 392 00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:10,714 Je vais demander � ma m�re qu'est-ce qu'elle veut manger. 393 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,751 - D'accord. - Aricots verts. 394 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:14,393 I'll choose it. 395 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:18,069 Alors, ma m�re va prendre la salade aux haricots verts 396 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,236 suivie des noisettes d'agneau, 397 00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:23,193 et moi je veux les champignons farcis 398 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,151 et comme entr�e le risotto. 399 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,919 Et pour commencer un bon Chablis, 400 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:31,316 et puis avec les entr�es, un Chateauneuf du Pape. 401 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:32,794 Tr�s bien. 402 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:36,993 C'est la premi�re fois que je suis ici - c'est magnifique. 403 00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:38,439 Merci beaucoup. 404 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,989 You paid for my education. Don't look surprised. 405 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,831 - But... - It's just a language. 406 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:49,632 You just have to learn it. 407 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,672 It doesn't just happen because you wear the right shoes 408 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,756 or smoke the right cigarettes. 409 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,757 It's very boring, I'm afraid. 410 00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:00,270 Call him back and say something else. 411 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,197 - No. - Go on, darling. 412 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,709 You sound quite interesting in French. 413 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:06,998 It suits you. 414 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,997 You should always speak French. 415 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:12,476 That's my daughter. Parler Panglais. 416 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,159 - Go on. - No. 417 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,635 Tell me off, darling, in French. 418 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,877 Go on, darling. Go on. In French. Go on. 419 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,274 Pardon? 420 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,959 I hate all these new magazine styles, don't you? 421 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,957 They're so brutal... 422 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,238 and ugly. 423 00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:35,352 I think they're fantastic. I love young things. 424 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:39,196 Hey, Rimmer. I love what you do, babe. What do you want next? 425 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,758 I want you to not touch me again. 426 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,117 - Is that nice? - Mmm. Delicious. 427 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,435 Is that Stella? Darling, is that Stella? 428 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:54,913 - Who? - Stella McCartney. 429 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,598 Oh, it's Stella. 430 00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:00,030 Leather, leather, leather, leather! Get rid of my shoes. 431 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:10,958 Oh, God. Why won't that woman ever speak to me, darling? 432 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,799 Mum, you've got meat in your hair. 433 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,797 Oooh, disgusting. 434 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,751 Never mind. I am old carcass eating old carcass, darling. 435 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,511 What are they doing about the photo? 436 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,108 Bubble was going to call me, wasn't she? 437 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:30,994 Go call. 438 00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:33,588 - I'm going to the toilet. - to the Louvre. 439 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:36,075 - No, to the... - It's a joke, sweetheart. 440 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:38,119 Mummy's little joke. 441 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,549 Quick Pompipoo in the Louvre. 442 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,470 OK. Hold the signs up. OK. 443 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,318 You - you will wear that. 444 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,034 If you read it, don't - you don't want to know. 445 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,559 You're second-hand cars. 446 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:59,229 It's a tableau - transversitality thing. Young models, old models. 447 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:01,954 Don't look at me like that. It's ironic, OK? 448 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,757 Ta da! It's not very high. 449 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:17,871 It's not the height. It's just the... 450 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,192 The tits out? 451 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,152 There are so many people. 452 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,032 What people? I see no people. 453 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,674 I see no people. I see no people. 454 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,318 What's our philosophy, darling? 455 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,759 - I know. - Come on. 456 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,599 I'll never see any of these people ever again. 457 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,678 It's our philosophy of life, darling. Come on. 458 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,439 - I'm not sure. - Oh, sweetheart. 459 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,311 Do you know what I'm looking at here? It's a prisoner. 460 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:46,919 You're a prisoner. 461 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:51,030 Do you know what your cage is? Other people's eyes. 462 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:52,912 Why do you care what they think? 463 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,634 They're keeping you in this cage. 464 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,149 This is a release, sweetheart. 465 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:02,076 Do you think Patsy and I go up there to be rude, sweetheart? No! 466 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,319 It's a release. 467 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:08,316 Your tits are the key to your cage, darling. 468 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,272 Keys, keys. 469 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:11,879 Come on, let's go up. 470 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,275 Come on. Mummy and daughter do it. 471 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,516 Just like any old mummy and daughtie. 472 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:18,473 Go on, sweetie. 473 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,637 We'll just dump the shopping at security. 474 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,789 Come on. Dancing, dancing, dancing. 475 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,150 No, not you dancing. Just me dancing. 476 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,274 Get to the top and just do it. 477 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,790 Just do it. Undo the buttons. Then we'll go to the second floor. 478 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,559 I don't know if they take you right up any more. 479 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,878 Here we are, darling. This is a good place, isn't it? 480 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,437 This is a good place. Here. There aren't many people around. Ready? 481 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,757 - All right. - Release yourself, sweetheart. 482 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,871 Are you ready? OK. here we go. 483 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,275 - Undo your buttons. - Are you...? 484 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,153 Yes. I'm going to lift mine. Bit of a flasher. 485 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,794 Ready, ready? Ready, darling. 486 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,236 And... go! 487 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,396 Where's your bit, darling? 488 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:05,910 Erin and I are going to do a U.S. Exclusive. It was Erin's idea. 489 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:10,716 She loved the pictures. What a wonderful day that was. Paris! 490 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:18,353 Saff? 491 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,392 Ooh! Sweetheart! 492 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,555 Darling. It's the magazine, sweetheart. 493 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,040 It's not as bad as you think, honestly. Look. 494 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,628 They put the staples through me. Come on. 495 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,438 Here it is. Here it is. have a look at it, darling. 496 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,073 Just have a look. 497 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:41,439 Sweetheart? 498 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,279 FM and Loaded want you to do a cover. 499 00:28:46,279 --> 00:28:56,279 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 37920

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