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1
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,830
Wheels on fire
2
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:12,193
Rolling down the road
3
00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:16,598
Best notify my next of kin
4
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:22,431
This wheel shall explode!
5
00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:28,198
Salute the sun. Salute the sun.
Salute the sun.
6
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,878
Child. Child.
7
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,790
Darling, can you help me?
8
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,389
- What?
- Come and help Mama, sweetheart.
9
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,476
I want to change position.
10
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,114
My foot's wedged up my lower chakra.
11
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,956
oh! Still, never mind.
12
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:52,232
Couple of weeks,
I'll be bendy like Madonna.
13
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,591
Able to kiss my own arse
from both directions.
14
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,356
Look at this one, darling - corpse.
15
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,516
In my dreams.
16
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,472
Om!
17
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,033
Om, om!
18
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,196
You're not supposed to inhale your oms.
19
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,356
I can inhale my oms if I want to.
20
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,994
I can pull them in
and push them out wherever I want.
21
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,319
Darling, did you know that yogis
can breathe through any orifice?
22
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,318
They can be buried for 40 years, darling,
23
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,591
breathing through a straw
sticking out of their pundada.
24
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,112
This kitchen is filthy!
What did you do to it last night?
25
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,311
Will you stop clearing it up, darling?
26
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,352
I'm trying to Jamie Oliver it up a bit.
27
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,237
Ad me mates around.
28
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:43,194
Burnt pork chops,
fresh 'erbs, fresh 'erbs!
29
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,436
Oing down the dogs.
30
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,033
Will you stop that?
31
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,913
I've got a meeting here.
You are going to work today?
32
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,991
Yes. Someone's got to, haven't they?
33
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:55,476
Will you check on my webcam
and see if Bubble's in the office?
34
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,876
Do it yourself. My hand's still bad.
35
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,755
I don't know what it is.
I think I might have trapped a nerve.
36
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,152
This is my new website, darling.
37
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,510
I've diversified. I'm a multi-tasker.
38
00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:17,154
It's the new thing - fashion, PR, design.
39
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,716
I've got a TV production company.
got my fingers in lots of pies.
40
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,796
Darling? Eddie Pie ands!
41
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,356
You haven't produced anything.
42
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,915
Oh, but I am a brand. I've been branded.
43
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:30,678
Like some old heifer!
44
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:35,639
Anyone can shove an antenna
up their bum and call themselves a channel.
45
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,555
Oh, look. Look at that.
46
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,274
What's she doing? What's she doing?
47
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,231
It's ridiculous.
48
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,158
I paid thousands to have that updated.
49
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:50,989
- What am I paying Damon for?
- Mum, will you please just go?
50
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:55,193
All right, sweetheart! I've just
got to call my life coach, darling.
51
00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:58,232
got to get my daily aim. You should try it.
52
00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,715
I've got my two life aims, you know?
53
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:04,071
- Yoga is one. You are witness.
- What's the second one?
54
00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,191
Christmas with Sting and Trudie Styler.
55
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,716
hello. Julia? Edin...
56
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:14,235
have a great idea
and write a pop song. Thanks.
57
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,318
I've got to have a great idea
and write a pop song.
58
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:18,794
Can't be hard.
59
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,991
- Ey, baby...
- not here.
60
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,236
not here. I've got a meeting here.
61
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:24,998
You've got a meeting.
62
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:29,079
not another of your committees?
Your voluntary unpaid committees.
63
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,919
What have you done
since the Body Zone? nothing.
64
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,429
Slave labour for new Labour you are.
65
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:36,955
I am getting a job. That's the meeting.
66
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:38,559
- Paid?
- Yes!
67
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,034
good. Frankly, darling,
68
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:43,516
I don't mind subsidising
some fat old couch potato
69
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,473
who wants to sit around
reading magazines all day.
70
00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,877
In the business I'm in,
we need that kind of person.
71
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:55,471
But when somebody deliberately
over-educates themselves
72
00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,752
out of the possibility
of useful employment,
73
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,030
I take issue.
74
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:05,197
You can tell that
to your new improved sparkly Labes.
75
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,312
If I get the job, I'm out of here,
that's my life aim.
76
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,158
Christ!
77
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:14,799
I thought we left her in the last
millennium. Is there no justice?
78
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,480
- Another sponger.
- What a night I've had!
79
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,795
I've taken up guacamole.
80
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,356
guacamole, dear. It's very sexy.
81
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,039
You mean salsa, gran.
82
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:27,958
She knows that. She knows.
83
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,479
I thought that was a dip.
84
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,238
She knows. It's salsa!
85
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,032
She's just doing it to annoy you.
86
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,550
I know that. I've got enough years
under my belt to know that.
87
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,593
You're calling that
"years" now, are you?
88
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,439
I thought you were preparing for a hard winter.
89
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:43,879
Stop her!
90
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,799
They used to predict
the weather by you.
91
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:51,118
"She's designed for hibernating,"
the neighbours used to say.
92
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:55,353
"Stock up with coal if you
can't see her nose by October."
93
00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,315
I know I shouldn't laugh, but really.
94
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,874
- Oh, what's this?
- Be careful, gran.
95
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,957
Be careful! This is a new kitchen.
96
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,390
There's a vegetable place and a meat place.
Bleed on the meat place.
97
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:11,877
I don't want it splattered with your
liver spots like 101 Dalmatians.
98
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,878
You used to have one of these
when you were a girl.
99
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,752
Yeah, but I was never allowed on it.
100
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,678
You were too big for it. You wobbled.
101
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,311
The scooter wobbled!
102
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:26,399
- If you say so.
- I have perfect balance. Look.
103
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,875
Wheels don't buckle on their own.
104
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,678
See that?
105
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,633
now you know why I have
to take it out on you, darling.
106
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,716
Cycle of abuse, isn't it?
107
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,310
What job is it you're getting, darling?
108
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,874
- It's a government initiative...
- government!
109
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,592
...for the promotion...
- Oh!
110
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,915
...of British arts and culture abroad.
111
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:50,237
British arts and culture, is it? British.
112
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:54,512
Is that the new PC, flagless,
sexless, OK, anodyne, milky-white
113
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,870
British new Labour brand?
114
00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,396
What are you doing?
115
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,314
I've come to pick up my Es.
116
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,751
I'm a silver surfer.
117
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,996
not on my waves you ain't. get off.
118
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,076
Then I thought I'd do some shopping.
119
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:16,317
Oh, god. no wonder all the dot coms
are going under.
120
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:19,034
It's mainly oldies who shop on the web.
121
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,759
Virtual shopping for those
with no grip on reality, isn't it?
122
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,871
What is my e-mail address?
123
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,675
"Old woman at risk of being
strangled by daughter. Com"!
124
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,712
Eddie! Eddie, prepare yourself.
125
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,671
Pats, Pats, Pats. goody.
126
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,989
- What's happened to your face?
- Darling, I told you.
127
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,278
- god, that's fabulous, darling.
- Did it last night.
128
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,313
Doesn't it take a couple of days
to kick in?
129
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:53,796
This is the business.
I got it from my friend at the lab.
130
00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,078
What's happened to your face?
131
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,475
Darling, she's just had a bit of botox.
132
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,716
O, it's not botox. It's parralox.
133
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,873
- You look like a zombie.
- She still has emotions!
134
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:12,231
She just doesn't
have to pay for them in wrinkles.
135
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,191
- I'm happy. Can you tell?
- no.
136
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,312
- Money well spent, Eddie.
- I'd say, yeah.
137
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,236
Did you test it? how did you test it?
138
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,157
have you seen her hand?
139
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,715
I mean, do you know what that stuff is?
140
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:33,399
Darling, it's natural.
Fresh from the jaws of an anaconda, isn't it?
141
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,397
It's a chemical weapon!
142
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,717
They make it at Porton Down.
It's developed for use in Iraq.
143
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,669
Why shouldn't we share our beauty secrets?
144
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,348
If it's good for Saddam, it's good for us.
145
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:48,394
I mean, who wouldn't risk
a little dose of gulf War Syndrome
146
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:52,035
for a wrinkle-free hand...
forehead, sweetheart.
147
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,230
You look like a haggis with pointed toes.
148
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:59,277
A tight bladder skin holding
together rotting old offal.
149
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,671
Your father was always
partial to a bit of that.
150
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:09,436
Is this your idea of cheating death,
by embalming early?
151
00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:13,348
Self-emtombment,
available at a cosmetic surgery near you.
152
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,550
Well, have you finished? Right.
153
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:18,718
- We don't have to go to a surgery?
- no, it's only a needle.
154
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,479
You don't need an O-level
to operate a syringe.
155
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,795
There'd be a social revolution if you did.
156
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,195
- Yeah!
- I've got to get dressed.
157
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,592
HI! I'm Katy Grin
and these are carpets!
158
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,030
Come down now to Carpet Madness!
159
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,151
It's carpets! It's madness!
160
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,317
Carpet madness at Carpet Madness now!
161
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:43,433
Just carpets! It's madness!
Madness now!
162
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,278
Sale starts Friday.
163
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,788
Did you know
Katy Grin is Bubble's cousin?
164
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,718
- Who?
- Katy Grin. My new TV partner.
165
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,956
Mum? Come here.
166
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,589
Don't get your face paralysed.
Promise me.
167
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,712
Yeah. I promise, darling. I promise, darling.
168
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,478
- Not that I care.
- Understood.
169
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,354
We'll need to pick up a couple of syringes.
170
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,675
No, darling. I don't think so.
171
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,392
Clean ones, Eddie. New ones.
172
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,439
Oh, Eddie. Eddie?
173
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,516
What, darling? Do you want the toilet?
174
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,392
No. Where's the car?
175
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,991
Chris, is this for me?
176
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,553
Where's the...?
177
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,398
Did Bubble order this?
178
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,797
I'll call Bubble.
Sending a little Munchkin car.
179
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:47,515
Are you coming, Chris?
You'll have to get in the back, Pats.
180
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:52,872
Ow, ow, ow!
181
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,674
I'm going to call Bubble. This is ridiculous.
182
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:07,839
No higher with your stiletto.
Just keep your legs in the back.
183
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:15,317
- This is perfectly ridiculous.
- I've got it now, Ed.
184
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,908
- Half car!
- I'm quite supple.
185
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,032
Hey, baby
186
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,594
I'm just driving down the road
187
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,358
Looking...
188
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,311
Driving down the road
189
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,759
Looking at the things
190
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:32,635
Looking at the people,
looking at the road
191
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:35,069
Looking at the handle
on the door...
192
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,350
- not very catchy, Eddie.
- No, it's not.
193
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:50,074
- I'm here!
- Your empire awaits! ha ha!
194
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,748
I was driven here in a liquorice allsort.
195
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,315
I think I've got deep vein thrombosis.
196
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,557
- We've been pointed at all the way.
- It's your promotion.
197
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:03,674
The Air Aware Week. Clean up the atmos!
That's your promotion.
198
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,348
Oh. Well, where is everybody?
199
00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:08,915
They're waiting for you in the TV meeting.
200
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:10,838
- Oh.
- The drain storm.
201
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,078
You don't have to do that.
202
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,917
What is that?
203
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,429
Charity, charity, charity.
204
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:22,358
Every abnormal skin cell
now has its own premi�re.
205
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:23,754
Look at this.
206
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,553
Celebrity fun run for anyone
who can't form a scab.
207
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,392
And meeting with Twiggly.
208
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,118
Oh, and you're on Richard and Dudey...
209
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,594
tomorrow morning.
210
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,951
- Richard and Judy?
- To push the Radical Gay Pride.
211
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,433
Richard and Judy.
212
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:41,911
Fist Across America.
213
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,871
Richard and Judy?
214
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,833
I know them. We stayed friendly.
215
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,394
- I should be doing that.
- They wanted me.
216
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,830
- But it's a TV thing.
- It's a PR thing!
217
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,517
- You on TV, Eds?
- Yes. Eddie Pie Hands.
218
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,232
- I think you'd better...
- o.
219
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,839
Ow, get these off to the nanny,
will you?
220
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,758
And tell her
that if he doesn't stop crying,
221
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,677
she can take him to the doctor.
222
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,155
How can a baby cry like that?
223
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,909
Is that a cigarette?
224
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,315
And booze!
225
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,236
Oh, come on, partner!
226
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,352
Let's get some TV on the road.
Come on. Put it out.
227
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,040
- I hate smoking.
- Five minutes. I'll be back.
228
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,631
Well, this is very nice.
229
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:40,548
Yes. It's my mother's.
I'm just here until I can afford to leave.
230
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:45,789
Wanting to shake off
the shackles of privilege.
231
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:51,230
But no, it's OK now.
You're allowed to be rich.
232
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:54,115
In fact, I think we encourage it.
233
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,636
Well, I'm not a champagne socialist.
234
00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:59,398
Bolly Bolsheviks!
235
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,078
I don't even drink.
236
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,874
Gran, I think you should go. That's my gran.
237
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:08,752
She's not dependent.
238
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:11,838
Great to see a...
239
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,279
Um...
240
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,311
- Older person?
- Yes.
241
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,751
Couldn't think how we say it now.
242
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:23,556
Yes. An older person using
all the new-fangled technology.
243
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:28,228
I think I'll leave that now, dear.
It does get a bit boring.
244
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,634
Oh, I know.
245
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:33,549
Once you're stuck in a porn cycle,
you can be there for days.
246
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,592
go home now, gran. go home.
247
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,589
good luck, dear. he's very nice.
248
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,749
- Is she here?
- She'll be out in a minute.
249
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,079
Am I blinking?
250
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,236
- Botox?
- No. Parralox.
251
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:10,113
Well, does exactly what it says on the tin.
252
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,717
And put more into production.
Put them on the website.
253
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,514
Things for Twiggy. Quiz for Twiggy.
254
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,710
Twigs for quigly. Twiggy.
255
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,874
- Hello, darling.
- This is why I've come.
256
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,434
Since I took you on,
nothing has happened.
257
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,312
You promised me TV vehicles,
258
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:31,035
but all I've had are black and white cabs
at my door day and night.
259
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:32,832
It's Bubble.
260
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,518
261
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,438
- A quiz, yeah?
- Yeah.
262
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:41,348
I quite like that. What else?
Come on, you've had months!
263
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:45,997
Look, darling, I thought a change
of tack here. Change of image.
264
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:50,272
Radical Gay Pride.
Fists Across America. You are a gay icon.
265
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,799
- Am I?
- Yeah.
266
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,797
- Damon!
- Coming!
267
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,194
Twiggy.
268
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:02,955
Anyway, it's Richard and Judy,
darling, tomorrow, with me.
269
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,513
Oh, I don't know.
270
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,996
They wanted Kylie and I said,
"No. Twiggy. She's got class."
271
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,599
Well, I have.
272
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:14,157
She doesn't have to wear microshorts
wedged up her chocolate starfish.
273
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:16,679
No.
274
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,154
Free car.
275
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,671
All right. I'll do it.
276
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:24,839
I know Richard and Judy, so let me
do the talking. You just sit there.
277
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,315
OK. I'll get the details to your people.
278
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,875
- See you down the late Bar later.
- All right.
279
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,833
Twiggy! How are you, darling?
280
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,916
- Sorry?
- Katy.
281
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:38,476
We did the lottery show together.
You released the balls.
282
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,239
Twiggy! Put our name on the door
at the late Bar.
283
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,396
Put your name on the door.
284
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,876
Do a bit of shopping, go home
and change, go to the late Bar.
285
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,833
- That's great.
- That stuffs kicking in.
286
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,951
great. Rgreat, Eddie. Thank you.
287
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,753
Do you think you're going to take that job?
288
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,950
Well, if it's offered, yes,
289
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,196
which I think it will be.
290
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,676
he said it's unusual to find someone
with all the qualifications
291
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,313
and no home commitments.
292
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,238
I think he liked you,
if you know what I mean.
293
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,632
- I don't think so.
- Oh, yes, he fancied you.
294
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,159
No. I don't think so.
295
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,078
I've touched a nerve.
296
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,590
Saffy's got a boyfriend.
Saffy's got a boyfriend!
297
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,392
You're going red.
298
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,511
Do you want to kiss him?
299
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,633
Do you want to sex him?
300
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,113
Sorry.
301
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:44,557
Twiggy has put my name on the guest list.
302
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,228
Twiggy! Put my name on the guest...
303
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,193
How do I know I'm not on the list
if you won't show me?
304
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,550
Who do you have to be to get a drink here?
305
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,876
Excuse me. I, Paul.
306
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,310
Victoria! Victoria!
I know... I know her mother!
307
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,833
We'll go round the back.
308
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:05,350
Go round the back to the toilets.
Candy will let us in.
309
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,799
Candy Bender?
310
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,470
She said she'd be in the right-hand
cubicle. She should be here.
311
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,796
All right. On one condition.
312
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:16,435
You have to take Fisty
when I go to Barbados. Goodbye, Minge.
313
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:17,879
Thanks, darling.
314
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,640
- Have you got my stuff?
- Yeah. Stuff for Candy.
315
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:23,797
Don't know what's happened
to our membership card.
316
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,878
Vomit on the left, Pats.
Who were you talking to?
317
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,559
My schoolfriend Minge.
318
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,194
- Oh, Minge.
- Know what she wants me to do?
319
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,630
She wants me to invite
Vic Hervey to her 21st bash.
320
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,309
As if I'm not enough.
I mean, I'm an IT girl, aren't I?
321
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,795
- What's the criteria?
- You have to be an IT.
322
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,433
Oh, yeah.
323
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,996
- There we go. Come on, Pats.
- I've cancelled a cancer ball.
324
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,952
Twiggy!
Darling, I'm just going to get a drink.
325
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:56,199
Are you going to the Black and White Ball
at the In and Out Club for Minge's 21st?
326
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,276
- What?
- The Black and White Ball.
327
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,868
- Where?
- The In and Out Club.
328
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,831
- Who?
- Minge!
329
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,520
- I don't think so.
- Bitch!
330
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:10,149
Twiggy! Twigs! You didn't
put our name on the door.
331
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,669
Oh, sorry, I forgot.
332
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,870
- Where are you going? go, stay.
- What?
333
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:22,392
It's really late. I think I'm going
to go home. I'll see you tomorrow.
334
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,875
- Tomorrow? What?
- Richard and Judy.
335
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,592
I'm doing Richard and Judy!
336
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,358
Will you be all right?
337
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,436
- Yeah, I'll be fine.
- Will she?
338
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,995
- Yeah.
- See you at Richard and Judy.
339
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:36,953
Sparkle!
340
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,559
Sparkle!
341
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,238
342
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,396
Eds, I can't open my...
343
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,151
- It's just a little...
- Very good.
344
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,077
- It's just that...
- Very good.
345
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,474
That's better.
346
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,519
So... a job in the arts.
347
00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:57,714
Does your mother know
you write plays and things?
348
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,798
No. She wouldn't be interested.
You are to say nothing!
349
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,799
I don't speak to her. Not since
she gave me that chemical peel.
350
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,876
- Well, not so much chemical.
- No.
351
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,071
And not so much peel.
352
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,510
She set fire to your pigtails.
353
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,509
It's a good job I'm thick-skinned.
354
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,915
Except for this shoulder.
355
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,557
Was your therapist any good?
356
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:28,912
Yes, really nice. It was actually
quite helpful. You should go.
357
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:32,396
No! Never! I don't need any help.
I can sort myself out.
358
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,352
You've got to get out of here.
359
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,116
360
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,156
I love it here. I love you actually.
361
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:45,832
I do. I think you're fantastic.
362
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,269
Hey, Michael, Michael. Give me a kiss.
363
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,516
- Get off.
- A little kiss, Michael.
364
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:51,914
Security!
365
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:53,951
Hey...
366
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:58,517
I was going to give this one to J. Lo.
This could do something for you.
367
00:19:58,640 --> 00:19:59,959
Yeah. OK.
368
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,036
Oooh, baby...
369
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,391
So not "ey, ooh now"?
Oooh...
370
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,875
Looking at something outside...
371
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,479
Security!
372
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,591
Should it go like that?
373
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,154
I think we should.
374
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,717
Attica and Chinawhites? Cabaret.
375
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,558
I've got you, Eddie.
376
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,955
Don't go that way.
We'll see those bouncers.
377
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,272
Oh, that's where that vomit...
378
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:33,673
Eddie, Eddie.
379
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,074
Oh, all right.
380
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,236
Oh, god, honestly, darling.
381
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:41,556
I mean, that club, that club
is just full of people...
382
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:46,193
Just 'cause they're on TV they don't
have to go out through the vomit.
383
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,912
They're famous people, yeah.
384
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,508
You're on TV tomorrow, Ed.
385
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,475
- TV tomorrow.
- get your face out there.
386
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,877
I could do that, couldn't I,
darling? I could do that.
387
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,640
Don't let Twiggy do the talking.
I could do that.
388
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:07,071
I could get my own style challenge
show, couldn't I?
389
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:08,872
You've always been style challenged.
390
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:15,153
But TV puts on two stone.
Every wrinkle turns into a Grand Canyon.
391
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,073
Eddie, I think...
392
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,790
No, darling. I think...
393
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,319
Eddie, I think.
394
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:31,876
Oh. I'm going to be a star.
395
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,874
Just give me five minutes, Eddie,
will you?
396
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,112
get a drink, sweetheart.
397
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:51,957
See you in five, Ed.
398
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,151
Mum, come here. I want to look at you.
399
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:24,998
Had a great day, darling.
400
00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:27,190
Life aims, daily aims.
401
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,470
- All complete.
- Come here!
402
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:36,959
What? This?
403
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,555
Always the little policeman,
aren't you?
404
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,159
Well, not for long.
405
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,669
My job interview went very well,
406
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:52,270
so you'd better get used to the fact
that I'm not going to be here.
407
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:53,799
Oh, good.
408
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,754
Because if I'm going
to be a celebrity,
409
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:02,351
it would look pretty sad to have
some big daughter still at home.
410
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:04,919
Unless you've got M.E.
411
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:10,317
We need a break, don't we, darling?
412
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,476
We need a clean break, you and I.
413
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,239
Remember to empty all your ashtrays.
414
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,518
- Don't sit on your feet any more.
- I won't, darling.
415
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,791
I'll set up a food delivery service
for you on the Internet.
416
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,399
Yum yum.
417
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,078
I'm going to bed.
418
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,032
You won't be here tomorrow?
419
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,948
No, darling. Tomorrow, no.
I'm fisting it on Richard and Judy.
420
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,998
Tomorrow I begin
the harpoon ride of my career.
421
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:40,394
Eddie!
422
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,710
OK, Eddie. It's not going to hurt.
423
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,675
- I'll go to sleep.
- All right, darling?
424
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,268
- Yeah.
- Little jab. Did you feel it?
425
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:06,799
No, nothing.
426
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,353
Oh, that's the pillow.
427
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:13,673
It's just going in now.
428
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,311
- Ooh...
- It's all right, darling.
429
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,795
I'm going to concentrate
on the nose and lips.
430
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,717
That's where we want to see it.
431
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,114
There, darling.
432
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,639
That's good, darling.
433
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:26,797
I think we'll put a little bit here
because that's where...
434
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:28,239
There we are, darling.
435
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:30,958
That's good, darling.
436
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:33,514
And up here.
437
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,835
That'll stun out those lines, darling.
438
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:38,554
And er...
439
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,875
Oh, it seems to have gone.
440
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,878
I'll mix up some more, Eddie.
I'll mix up some stronger.
441
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,753
Stronger round here.
Stronger around here.
442
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,316
443
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,873
- Well...
- I can go at the drop of a hat.
444
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,549
- In fact, I could go now. Please.
- Well...
445
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:25,794
The job is yours.
446
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,753
I knew it! Brilliant!
Oh, thank you! Thank you!
447
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,393
Thanks! Oh!
448
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:37,073
This whole initiative is really
close to Tony's heart.
449
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:38,474
Yes.
450
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:43,912
Actually, Tone said he'd love
for you
451
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:47,715
to have dinner with him
and Cherie at The Ivy one night.
452
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,115
- If he can make it.
- Oh, yes.
453
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,275
- Cherry is my...
- Sorry. It's Cherie.
454
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:24,833
- Oh, yes.
- Sorry.
455
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,518
She's my role model.
456
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,154
457
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,876
My god, this woman needs help.
458
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,274
No, no!
459
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,391
Saffy, help Mummy...
460
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,153
help Mummy.
461
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:46,352
You don't understand.
She's not normally like this.
462
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:47,913
She wants you to help her.
463
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,951
There's nothing the matter with her.
464
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,593
But she's a... She's a...
465
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,757
Oh, Christ! What do we call
people like this?
466
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,030
She's not! She's just doing it...
467
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,958
for attention!
468
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,310
I'm very sorry. No, I really am sorry.
469
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,591
I didn't mean to hit her.
I just... Please.
470
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,188
Oh, please help Mummy. help Mummy.
471
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,151
Stop it! Stop it!
472
00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:11,510
It was the injections.
473
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,433
You can stop now, he's gone.
474
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,312
475
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,669
Wheels on fire
476
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:24,832
Rolling down the road
477
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:29,317
Best notify my next of kin
478
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:35,276
This wheel shall explode.
479
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,357
I told you that stuff was dangerous.
480
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,835
She shouldn't have gone to sleep.
It sunk.
481
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,352
She loves the bracelets.
She's looking at the diamonds.
482
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,358
Are you looking at my diamonds?
You've got taste.
483
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,948
You've got lovely little socks,
haven't you?
484
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:09,197
- We've an interview to do.
- Let's bring Twiggy in.
485
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:12,676
She likes you too, Judy!
Would you like to hold her?
486
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,474
- I'd love to.
- Yes, you hold her.
487
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,272
- Of course.
- All right, Mimi.
488
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,550
All right, sweetheart.
489
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:23,469
Haven't you two done well?
I mean, how do you keep it up?
490
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,238
I really don't know.
491
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,991
492
00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:31,190
Oh, don't start that!
493
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:43,919
Sit up!
494
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:45,953
Shut up!
495
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:51,111
This wheel shall explode.
496
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:57,554
Ziggy played guitar!
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