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1
00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:03,128
♪♪
2
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,129
[ Sighs ]
3
00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:06,965
Hey, honey,
you're home early.
4
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:10,219
Wait. You finally realized
that being a stay-at-home wife
5
00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:11,512
and taking care
of your man
6
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:14,056
is the greatest satisfaction
a woman can have.
7
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,557
[ Chuckles ]
8
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,017
Yeah, you guessed it.
9
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,102
Now, sit down
and enjoy your arsenic.
10
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,439
But what
are you doing home?
11
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:25,526
Oh, the owners of Casita Bonita
weren't taking me
12
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904
and the other employees
seriously about unionizing.
13
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,989
So, after lunch,
we walked out.
14
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,658
Good for you.
Yeah.
15
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:36,036
And they know that we're not
gonna budge off of our demands,
16
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,830
so I think they're gonna buckle
like an old pilgrim's shoe.
17
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,125
Huh.
Was one of your demands
18
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,086
that you want
more archaic references?
19
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:48,048
Did you ask for an extra
fortnight of vacation
20
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,051
and, uh, increased
medical coverage
21
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,928
for vapors
and bad humors?
22
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:55,013
[ Laughter ]
23
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:58,016
Your contumely
is not appreciated,
24
00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,893
you gormless troglodyte.
25
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,603
Oh!
[ Laughs ]
26
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,063
Smart people.
27
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,273
I don't think we've ever had
two of them
28
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,315
in the house
at the same time.
29
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,068
Don't you worry,
young missy,
30
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,903
we'll bring 'em down
to our level.
31
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,489
We're gonna make them watch
"Parking Wars"!
32
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,949
Isn't it just a show
about people
33
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,617
fighting over
parking spots?
34
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:16,785
Just?
35
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:18,203
[ Scoffs ]
What more do you want?
36
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,456
You guys --
You guys missed it.
37
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:24,209
Some idiot in a big SUV
just took a tight compact space.
38
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,461
Now he can't open his doors.
He's trapped.
39
00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,048
No, he's not.
No, he's not.
Uh-oh.
40
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:30,924
He's squeezing out
through the moonroof.
41
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,426
Uh-oh.
42
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,386
His kid is
closing the moonroof.
43
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:35,596
Look at his eyes bulge.
[ Laughs ]
44
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:38,765
Ben: Hey.
45
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:41,977
Is everything okay?
46
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,354
Uh, it's my job.
47
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,981
Dammit, I knew
this was gonna happen.
48
00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:46,982
They let you go?
49
00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,317
Uh, no.
50
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,486
I got promoted again.
51
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:52,863
Alright!
Whoa!
52
00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:55,073
Well, that's great!
53
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:56,575
I guess when you're
not used to good news,
54
00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,660
you don't know
what to do with your face.
55
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:01,121
No. Look, I'm happy
it's more money,
56
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,374
but now I'm the VP
of Public Relations.
57
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,710
Oh, my God.
58
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:09,171
I am so sorry.
59
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:10,672
I assume everyone else
there died.
60
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:15,010
No, but that is
the first thing I checked.
61
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:17,429
I'm really happy for you,
Darlene.
62
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:19,723
Forgive me if I don't
jump up and down,
63
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:23,435
but I just walked out over
75 more cents an hour
64
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,020
and a hand-washing station
in the kitchen.
65
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:30,192
That sucks, Louise, and I'm sure
I seem like an ungrateful jerk,
66
00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,569
but I don't know why
they picked me for this job.
67
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:33,987
I know
why they picked you.
68
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,697
Because it's funny when people
who look like children
69
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,157
say adult things.
70
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:42,412
No, because she's working class,
she's a mom raising a family,
71
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,164
and people are more likely
to listen to her
72
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,957
than some slick,
corporate guy.
73
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:48,835
Yeah, I get that, but I've never
done anything like this.
74
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,462
Ah, just do what men do.
75
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,798
Take the job regardless
of being qualified
76
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:55,258
and you stay around long enough
until you harass somebody,
77
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,802
and then they move you up
in the company.
78
00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:07,396
♪♪
79
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:16,738
♪♪
80
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,741
-- Captions by VITAC --
81
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:20,951
"The Conners" is recorded
82
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,077
in front of
a live studio audience.
83
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,164
Hey! You get a promotion
like Darlene?
84
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,876
'Cause that's the face,
right?
85
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,545
No.
86
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:34,464
The owners of Casita Bonita
closed it for good.
87
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,882
The doors are padlocked.
88
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:36,883
I'm outta work.
89
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,553
Oh, wow, that's crazy.
90
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,389
I might have told a few people
about that soap thing.
91
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,099
It wasn't about that,
was it?
92
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,727
Did another cat
give birth in the oven?
93
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,396
No.
94
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,189
They said they can't afford
a union wage
95
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:54,109
because the cost of food
has gone up so much.
96
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:58,196
Nobody wants to pay $16 for a
burrito that's mostly potatoes.
97
00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,824
Hey, I'm gonna
miss that place.
98
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,617
It's where you and I
found each other again.
99
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:05,871
Yeah.
We had our first dates there.
100
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:07,539
I'm gonna miss it, too.
101
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:10,667
And Beverly Rose was conceived
in the freezer there.
102
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,794
Can't find a romantic way
to spin that.
103
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,255
To Casita Bonita.
104
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,299
Aww. Yeah.
Yeah.
105
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,676
Ah. I just lost
my wife's income,
106
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,219
so I'm gonna need
a couple more of these.
107
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,054
Anyone?
Well, I just found out
108
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,431
my buddy lost
his wife's income,
109
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,725
so I'm gonna drink with him
so he's not sad.
110
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,147
You know, Jackie,
um, I'm --
111
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:34,941
I'm gonna be looking for
another restaurant position.
112
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,652
Oh, that's gonna be a challenge.
Good luck with that.
113
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:39,988
I know that we had our ups
and downs
114
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,198
when I first joined
the family.
115
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,491
Oh, man, did we.
116
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,951
But I-I feel like we're in
a really good place now.
117
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,036
Do you?
Good for you.
118
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,539
Jackie,
she wants a job.
119
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,374
Do you mind?
120
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:53,710
Yeah, I want a job.
121
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,295
And it's a great idea.
122
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:59,216
I have all this experience,
I can work any shift you need,
123
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:02,219
and we're family,
so you can trust me.
124
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,428
Timing's right.
125
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,472
My only other server's
part-time now
126
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,766
because she's working
on her "psychology degree,"
127
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,559
which is
causing problems.
128
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:13,146
Uh, the "other server"
wants to know what problems.
129
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:17,567
Last week, you psychoanalyzed
everybody based on their order.
130
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,821
What is it about a tuna melt
that makes you a narcissist?
131
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,489
[ Laughs ] Everything.
132
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:27,035
And I supposed you believe
that people order a hot dog
133
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,954
just because
they want a hot dog.
134
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,206
It has nothing to do
with their father.
135
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,959
Here's something
I've been thinking about.
136
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:37,212
I've always wanted
to try the "Buy a beer,
137
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,631
and if the Bears win,
it's free" scam.
138
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:43,218
Oh, wow. Wow.
I never thought of that.
139
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:46,805
[ Laughs ]
Well, you must have at least
done the drinking game,
140
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:50,475
where the customers do a shot
every time the Bears fumble.
141
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:53,228
As soon as they get the ball,
I start pouring.
142
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:56,356
Look at you
with all the ideas.
143
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,525
Finally, a server
who understands
144
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,861
the hospitality business.
145
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:05,782
I'm not just a server.
146
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,284
I-I was a manager.
147
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:10,036
Okay, well, maybe you could
work for five minutes
148
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,121
before we start
talking titles.
149
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:17,544
I'm just saying, I-I worked all
these years to become a manager.
150
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:18,795
Uh-huh.
151
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,589
Hey, I got an idea
for a drinking game, too.
152
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,842
We'll all take a shot
every time you say "manager."
153
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:26,386
[ Laughs ]
154
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,055
♪♪
155
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,600
Ah. It's nice Wellman's
shelling out a couple bucks
156
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,351
for Beverly Rose's school.
157
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,604
Do I look like
the head of PR?
158
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,355
You look like a shaky
little Chihuahua,
159
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,899
but you always
look like that.
160
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,276
I'm bored.
161
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:44,070
How much longer do I have
to stand here?
162
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:47,240
We're trying to be
supportive of Aunt Darlene.
163
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,159
Believe me,
I know it's hard.
164
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,498
Thank you for coming.
165
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:59,586
Uh, I am very proud to be
representing Wellman Plastics
166
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:04,174
as we donate a year's supply
of utensils, plates, and cups
167
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:07,093
to Lanford Public School's
free breakfast program.
168
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,054
[ Applause ]
169
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,268
Hi, there. I'm Jimmie Pike
from the "Lanford Gazette."
170
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,187
Oh. Did I blink
in that photo?
171
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:19,064
I always do that,
but it's worse
172
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,148
when I try
to keep 'em wide open.
173
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:23,193
I look like
Japanese anime.
174
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,779
I just want to know,
is this event to distract
175
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:28,782
from the accusations
from an anonymous whistleblower
176
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,951
that Wellman is polluting
the groundwater in Lanford?
177
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,787
What?
178
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,830
Uh -- I don't know
anything about that.
179
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,957
Company has no comment.
180
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,084
No, no. No, no.
181
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,044
I-I can't comment
182
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,214
'cause I really haven't heard
anything about that.
183
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:47,008
You can ask me anything you want
about the placemats
184
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,344
and the forks and the knives
for the children.
185
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:52,097
Okay, is the toxic runoff
from making the knives
186
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,765
and the forks
for the children
187
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,351
killing the children?
188
00:07:56,351 --> 00:08:00,021
Here at Wellman,
we have a strict policy
189
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,856
against killing children.
190
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:04,067
Write that down.
191
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:08,029
Company thinks destroying
the environment is funny.
192
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,074
Come on, Jimmie,
give me a break.
193
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,951
This is my first day.
194
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,787
Look, I'll ask my bosses
about it and then we
can talk later, okay?
195
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,622
You take bad photos,
196
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,207
you don't know how
to do your job.
197
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,750
I'm looking forward
to it.
198
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,044
♪♪
199
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,674
This feels very weird.
200
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,260
I asked for a meeting,
not like a big fancy dinner.
201
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,886
Well,
I don't think it's weird.
202
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,722
I mean, this is how executives
do things.
203
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,348
And, you know, they can write
this whole thing off.
204
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,559
Lobster mashed potatoes?!
That's fantastic!
205
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,897
In nature, those two things
would never meet.
206
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,524
Just don't talk a lot.
207
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,861
Hey. Hey, Darlene.
Good to see you.
208
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,446
Hi, Mr. Wellman.
209
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,156
Ben.
Hi.
210
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:54,492
Wow.
This is all so nice,
211
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,245
but it wasn't necessary for you
to take us out to dinner.
212
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,956
Well, Bella and I just wanted
to celebrate your promotion,
213
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,624
and go over the plan
to publicize
214
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,418
our commitment
to the community.
215
00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,086
Oh, that's great.
216
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,213
Um, and -- and like I said
in my e-mail,
217
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,923
I just want to know
if there's anything
218
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:10,675
to what this reporter
was talking about?
219
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,260
Absolutely not.
220
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,220
They're just fishing
for a story.
221
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,431
We've done studies,
and they all come back clean.
222
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,475
Oh. Hear that?
Water's clean.
223
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:19,976
Let's celebrate
with some oysters?
224
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,483
The doctor
gave me vitamins.
225
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,526
I have a condition
where I need to be happier.
226
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,994
[ Raspy ] I find they absorb
better with Chardonnay.
227
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:44,167
Well, um, those studies
make me feel a lot better.
228
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,419
So, if we are not
contaminating anything,
229
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,088
would you mind just
telling the press that?
230
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:51,508
That's exactly what
you are gonna do.
231
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,551
Those are the dates
for your media tour,
232
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,887
a list of, uh, difficult
questions you might encounter,
233
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:58,598
and the talking points
we'd like you to stick to.
234
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,767
Okay. Yeah.
235
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:04,479
Looks like there's some very
vague things you want me to say.
236
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:07,148
"As a mom with two kids,
I trust the Wellman family
237
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,566
to do what's right
for our community.
238
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,610
We know we can live well
with Wellman."
239
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,278
Well, a little stiff
and awkward,
240
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,322
but that's how a real person
would read it.
241
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,118
Yeah, I mean, that's --
that's what we want,
242
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,619
somebody
from the community.
243
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,496
I mean, we all live
in the same town.
244
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:24,666
Your, uh, media tour
starts in about a week.
245
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,459
You'll do great.
246
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,962
Dress in that lumberjack thing
you usually do
247
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,756
and whatever's happening
up there with your hair,
248
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:32,549
just keep doing it.
249
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:37,262
I'm going
to the restroom.
250
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:40,140
Would you mind escorting me
while these two talk business?
251
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,518
When the Chard hits my vitamins,
I get a little wobbly.
252
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,604
That's understandable.
253
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,189
Those vitamins have killed
a lot of rockstars.
254
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:53,361
No, I think it's best if I
escort you, my precious angel.
255
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,656
Here we go.
Excuse us.
256
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,493
[ Scoffs ]
257
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:03,204
This is all corporate
double-speak.
258
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:05,832
Something about this
does not feel right.
259
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:09,210
Look, is there anyone that's
been at the company a long time
260
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,254
and knows Bill Wellman
enough to tell you
261
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:13,173
whether you can trust him
or not?
262
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,966
Well, yeah.
There's Robin,
263
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,926
but I don't want her to think
I can't handle this job.
264
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:19,179
Oh, well, I think
we've established
265
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:22,348
you can't handle the job,
but look...
266
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,143
you trust Robin
and see what she thinks.
267
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,436
Huh.
268
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:29,147
Did you know that
your Wellman shampoo bottle
269
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:31,566
will be recycled
into playground equipment
270
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,610
in slide-less communities?
271
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,445
Thank God
for this company.
272
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,946
I'm getting truffle fries
for the table.
273
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,200
♪♪
274
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,826
So, how do you like
working here?
275
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:45,538
Well, I know everybody.
I know the menu.
276
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,123
I feel like I've been
working here forever.
277
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,625
[ Chuckles ] Me, too,
278
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,168
but in a way
that makes me want to
279
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,461
slam my face
into this cake.
280
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:57,383
So, how do you like my ideas
for bringing in more business?
281
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,344
They're all the changes
that those idiots
282
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,471
at Casita Bonita
wouldn't even listen to.
283
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,515
I'm glad somebody's
bringing in fresh ideas.
284
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,392
There haven't been any
since I lost interest.
285
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,021
[ Chuckles ]
286
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:13,233
Clearly, she's forgotten
about Stew-mendous Mondays,
287
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,653
uh, Stew Year's Eve,
and Stew-Paul's Drag Race.
288
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,446
[ Chuckles ]
289
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:21,658
You know, as much as people
love stew puns...
290
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,243
[ Laughs ]
291
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,370
...there's a whole menu of stuff
here we can promote.
292
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,537
Yeah.
293
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,081
Yeah, but we're mostly
about the stew.
294
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,291
Mm, that's your problem.
295
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,043
You need
some high margin items,
296
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,671
like a-a fried chicken platter
or skirt steak.
297
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,130
Okay, okay.
298
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,925
Well, if you think the average
Midwestern working type
299
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,135
is gonna want, uh, fried chicken
and steak, that's --
300
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,136
that's --
that's great.
301
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,846
Yeah,
we'll roll the dice.
302
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,143
Hey. How's it going
with Louise?
303
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:52,689
Um, well, I think she's starting
to feel very comfortable here.
304
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,774
Not afraid
to use her voice.
305
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,402
Hey, Robin.
Hey, Jackie.
306
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,028
Um, I love your new
Bears promotion.
307
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,738
Yeah. Yeah, genius.
308
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,573
And I'm the idiot
who never thought of it.
309
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:05,994
Still hates herself,
I see.
310
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,122
Well, thanks for coming.
Mm.
311
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:12,458
Well, I'm always happy to,
uh, drive across town,
312
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:15,586
where it's convenient
for you.
313
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:19,674
So, you said you wanted to pick
my brain, so have at it.
314
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,009
Thanks.
315
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:24,512
Um, is Bill Wellman
a lying scumbag?
316
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,389
Well, let me
ask you this first.
317
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:28,016
Is this for
the company newsletter
318
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:31,144
or a birthday cake
or what?
319
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:34,105
No, I-I was at my first
PR event,
320
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:36,691
and this reporter told me
that an anonymous whistleblower
321
00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:39,193
said that Wellman
is polluting the groundwater,
322
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,404
but Bill tells me
that we have studies
323
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,072
that say that's not true.
324
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,450
Well,
that's interesting.
325
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,204
That's not an answer.
326
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,457
I know.
I'm being evasive.
327
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:55,043
Come on.
Is he a liar?
328
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:58,629
Well, as your fellow employee
at Wellman, I'd say no.
329
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:01,632
But as the anonymous
whistleblower,
330
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,134
I'd have to say yes.
331
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,513
What?
Why didn't you tell me that?
332
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:11,392
Look, in my defense,
never in my wildest dreams
333
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,102
did I think they'd make you
someone important.
334
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,898
Okay, but how
can you still work there
335
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,316
knowing they're polluting
our water?
336
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:20,568
Because I like to eat
and live indoors.
337
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,280
And I'm only a year away
from getting a pension.
338
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:26,699
Oh, my God.
339
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,451
Well, now,
what am I gonna do?
340
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:31,829
Well, for starters,
when you're taking a shower,
341
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,165
always keep
your mouth closed.
342
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:38,377
♪♪
343
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,921
Dammit.
344
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,255
The company picked me
to be their stooge
345
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,174
because they know
I can't afford to quit.
346
00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:46,594
And they're right, but if this
is too much for you,
347
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:49,013
we'll figure something out.
How?
348
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,515
I won't get unemployment,
349
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:51,724
the kids and I won't have
health insurance.
350
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,309
We can't lose that.
351
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,937
I had like a month worth
of rainy-day money saved up,
352
00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,397
and then I stopped for gas
and bought groceries.
353
00:14:58,397 --> 00:14:59,941
Now we got
like six hours.
354
00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,528
Well, I say we get a pizza,
see a movie,
355
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:04,987
and just go out
in a blaze of glory.
356
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:10,368
Have you thought about asking
for your old job back?
357
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:12,161
Yeah,
maybe I should do that.
358
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,539
I'd still know the company's
wrecking the environment,
359
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:16,999
but it would buy me some time
to find a new job.
360
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,209
What if they won't?
361
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,419
Well, then I have to try
to get myself fired.
362
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,922
You know, then at least,
I could get unemployment.
363
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,258
Yeah, just grab Robin's ass
and they'll get rid of you
364
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,844
for creating
a hostile workplace.
365
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,428
That won't work.
366
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,638
Everybody already thinks
we're a couple.
367
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:35,184
Well, visually, it makes
more sense than you and Ben.
368
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:39,272
♪♪
369
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,691
Made any decisions
about expanding the menu?
370
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,068
No. Not yet. Nope.
Still thinking about it.
371
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,445
Okay.
372
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,364
How about, uh,
changing the website?
373
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:49,824
It's impossible to use.
374
00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:51,868
No. It's not.
It's simple.
375
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:55,538
Right now, you look at a picture
of the food, you click on it.
376
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:58,249
That takes you the old website
that has the menu,
377
00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,835
you look at what you want,
you go back to the new website,
378
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,296
type in what you want
and how many,
379
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,505
and then
you give us a call
380
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,757
to make sure we're
not out of anything,
381
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,551
you solve the riddle
at the checkout page
382
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:11,220
for a free slice of cheesecake,
and you're done.
383
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,346
Just...
384
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:15,266
a drunken monkey
could do it.
385
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,185
You have to stop
dragging your feet.
386
00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:20,146
I'm not dragging my feet.
I'm thinking.
387
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,689
Hey, what's the code
to the bathroom?
388
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:23,316
What code?
389
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,484
Uh, I put a code lock
on the bathroom door
390
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,987
so non-customers couldn't
just wander in here
391
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:28,988
and use the restroom.
392
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,615
This is
a family restaurant.
393
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:33,367
Everybody who comes through
that door, I consider family.
394
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,493
Yeah, this feels like
a discussion
395
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,037
you should have after
I get the code.
396
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,165
1-1-1-2.
397
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,958
Oh, that's great.
Oh, that --
398
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,211
O-Okay, a long list
of random numbers
399
00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:46,172
that's gonna be
impossible to remember.
400
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,506
So, I can't believe --
401
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,759
Why did you do something
like that without asking me?
402
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:53,387
I did it because every time
I ask you to make a decision,
403
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:54,639
you get paralyzed.
404
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:56,265
No, that's not true.
405
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,309
That's not -- See?
Moving!
406
00:16:58,309 --> 00:16:59,852
Moving!
407
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,812
Come on, Jackie.
408
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:05,066
You can't make any decisions,
even if they're good for you,
409
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,275
like -- like the website.
410
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,027
Like landing
on one career.
411
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,654
Like finally
dating my brother.
412
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,864
Look, I'm --
I'm only trying to help you.
413
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,366
I don't need your help!
414
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,160
Stop telling me how
to live my life, Roseanne!
415
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,498
Oh, my God.
416
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,042
That was an actual
Freudian slip!
417
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,754
You read about it
in textbooks,
418
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,924
but you never think
you're gonna see one in person.
419
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,050
Could you get
all unhinged again?
420
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,635
I wanna record it
for class.
421
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,182
Uh, excuse me,
Mr. Wellman.
422
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,767
Can we talk?
Yeah, sure, sure.
423
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,394
What can I do for you,
Darlene?
424
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,897
Um, look, I really
appreciate the promotion,
425
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,900
but I would like to go back
to my old job managing the line.
426
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,403
I'm just not comfortable
being a public speaker.
427
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,489
Everyone feels that way
at first. Stick with it.
428
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:56,534
You'll find your own voice using
the words we provide for you.
429
00:17:56,534 --> 00:18:00,496
Uh, Mr. Wellman,
I'm having a lot of anxiety.
430
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:03,249
I really need to do this.
Well, I'm sorry, Darlene,
431
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,585
but your old job
has already been filled.
432
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,212
If you don't want the promotion,
I guess you'll have to quit.
433
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:11,716
Okay.
434
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,801
Um, if you don't fire me,
I'm gonna go to the press
435
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,928
because I found out the truth
about the groundwater.
436
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:18,097
You do that and we will sue you
and your family
437
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,223
for everything
you're worth.
438
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,349
[ Scoffs ]
439
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,436
What else you got?
440
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,855
My family's been preparing
for this moment for years.
441
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,316
Okay, well,
how about this?
442
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:31,694
You go to the press, and I will
bury you in legal debt so deep,
443
00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:34,864
it'll keep your kids broke
for the rest of their lives.
444
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,660
Okay. I quit.
445
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:44,540
Oh, please don't accept
my resignation for two hours.
446
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,208
I gotta go to the dentist
and the eye doctor
447
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,085
and see if I can squeeze
in a colonoscopy.
448
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,547
♪♪
449
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,382
So, we should talk.
450
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,802
Not if you're
gonna scream at me.
451
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,220
Sorry.
452
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,598
Um, today, when you were
telling me
453
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:04,644
that I couldn't run my own life,
suddenly, I was eight again,
454
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,772
and I was baking a cupcake
in my Easy-Bake Oven,
455
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,274
and I could hear
Roseanne saying,
456
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,442
"No, you're doing it
all wrong.
457
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:12,735
Now I have to do it
all for you."
458
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,445
And then my mom
would come in and say,
459
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:15,821
"Don't upset Roseanne --"
460
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,240
I don't think you're
incompetent, Jackie,
461
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,993
and I just got upset
because you were dismissing me.
462
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,620
I only wanted to help.
463
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,372
Well,
it's the way you helped.
464
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,123
Roseanne never listened
to me.
465
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:28,542
She never cared about
anything I had to say.
466
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:31,087
Well, I care about
what you have to say,
467
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,089
because I know
how that feels.
468
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,966
The owners at Casita Bonita
would ignore me
469
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:39,136
every time I tried
to suggest anything.
470
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:42,014
I thought you would at least
appreciate my ideas.
471
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,392
Oh, I do.
I do appreciate your ideas.
472
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:47,812
You just have to express them
in a way that I can...
473
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:49,063
pretend they're mine.
474
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:50,231
That's all.
475
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,360
Wow.
476
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,237
Where do you come up
with stuff like that?
477
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:57,571
Yeah. I don't know.
I-I --
478
00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:00,533
I don't even analyze it,
you know?
479
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,452
You know, later on, we will
go grab a glass of wine,
480
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,871
and I'll give you some other
stuff you're gonna come up with.
481
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,457
Oh, you mean like ideas
I've already had?
482
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,042
Still ahead of me.
483
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,127
[ Chuckles ]
484
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:12,837
You guys
work everything out?
485
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:14,588
'Cause I was worried
about you.
486
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:17,591
Aw, don't worry, Becky.
I started dinner.
487
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:20,594
She thinks I'm her sister,
you think I'm your cook.
488
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,722
Not just that.
489
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,098
You're also the nice lady
490
00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:25,766
we're gonna dump our dad on
when he's old.
491
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,143
Yeah.
492
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:28,853
Which is...
493
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,062
now.
494
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,984
Well...
495
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:35,985
I did it.
496
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:36,944
Quit my job.
497
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,029
Ooh.
Okay.
498
00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,781
Let's see
what I taught you.
499
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,533
Dentist?
Check.
500
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,326
Lady parts doctor?
501
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:45,369
Check.
502
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,580
Upstairs
and downstairs?
503
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,622
Check, and grow up.
504
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,501
I'm gonna be in my bed
for the next week.
505
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,336
Please take
care of my children,
506
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,630
or, you know, sell them
at a fair price.
507
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:57,882
♪♪
508
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,179
Why can't I be the manager?
'Cause I'm the manager.
509
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,555
I don't need
another manager.
510
00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:07,850
But you're the owner.
So I-I should be the manager.
511
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,518
I like being the manager.
512
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:11,270
Yeah, but
if I'm the manager,
513
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,647
it takes the pressure
off you being the manager.
514
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:17,151
Mom, Mom, two more shots.
Mnh-mnh.
515
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,195
She was out after
the first five "managers."
516
00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:22,865
Jackie: Oh, maybe
you could be co-manager.
517
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:24,200
I'll allow it.
38576
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