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Downloaded from
hqcinemas.com
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Official HQCINEMAS movies site:
hqcinemas.com
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♪ ♪ Downloaded from hqcinemas.com
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(cheering, applause)
Downloaded from hqcinemas.com
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WOMAN (over speakers):
Get on your feet right now.
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-Come on, now.
-(crowd cheering)
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The recipient of the 2019
Lifetime Achievement Award...
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DANYEL SMITH:
Nominated for 31 Grammys.
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MAN: A double Oscar nominee
this morning.
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QUEEN LATIFAH:
She is a global superstar
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who has won nine Grammy Awards
and sold over 50 million albums.
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ANDRE HARRELL: Star on
the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
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LL COOL J: She created a new
national anthem for women.
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WOMAN: The undeniable queen
of hip-hop and R&B,
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Mary J. Blige!
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(cheering continues)
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-(camera flash echoes)
-(cheering fades)
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MAN:
All right.
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Perfect.
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MARY:
It feels really good
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to be at this point in my career
and have done so much,
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between music, TV, philanthropy.
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Get that chin up
a little bit more.
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Nice. Bring that face around
for me right here.
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MARY: I’ve done
pretty much everything
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that I’ve-I’ve always
wanted to do.
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Nice. Stay right there, Mary.
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MARY: But success comes
when you are successful inside.
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For a long time, I didn’t know
I was successful outside
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because I was a-a wreck inside.
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Because, when I was growing up
in the neighborhood we lived in,
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it was like,
"You better not dream it.
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You better not hope it."
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And so my mission has been
to actually help women
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to believe in themself
and help, you know, help myself
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00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,336
believe in myself
and live out things
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00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:09,880
and let people,
especially women,
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see how I come through ’em.
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-(indistinct chatter)
-(man whoops)
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♪ ♪
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I have 13 albums,
but my second album, My Life,
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is the most important
because there was a lot in me,
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and there was a lot wrong,
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and there was a lot
I needed to get out.
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(lively chatter)
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The My Life album was
probably my darkest album
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at one of the darkest
time in my life.
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I’ve had plenty dark times,
though, since then,
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but this was like
a turning point.
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This was a decision I had
to make, either live or die.
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00:03:02,892 --> 00:03:04,393
Most of the times,
I was just depressed
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00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:08,105
and didn’t want to live
because I didn’t love myself.
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(crowd cheering)
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I didn’t know that so many
people felt the same way.
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-How you doing, sweetie?
-How you doing?
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-I’m good. How are you?
-How you doing?
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MARY: This album was
very important to them,
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and they make me remember
that I’m not the only one
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going through the things
that I’m going through.
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-You’re my inspiration.
-Thank you.
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Thank you so much
for everything.
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Oh, you’re welcome, baby.
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(crowd cheering)
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MARY:
Thank you so much
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for all this love.
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(cheering continues)
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Y’all know how real it is.
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My life is real, real, real.
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And this is just filling me up.
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Thank you so much.
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(cheering continues)
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WOMAN:
(whoops) Mary!
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SEAN COMBS:
Her vulnerability
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00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,872
and her courageousness
to share, um,
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for me, for my daughters,
that’s what I want them to see.
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I want them to see that
they can express theirselves.
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Her image, you know, her story,
how she tells it,
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so raw, so vulnerable, so bold
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and unafraid to be who she is,
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she made it okay for people to
say, "It’s all right to be me."
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(crowd cheering)
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MARY: And I always wanted
to see women do better,
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be stronger, be beautiful,
believe in themselves.
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(cheering continues)
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It’s been 25 years since
I put the My Life album out
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and I started
speaking to my fans.
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And it’s a place
where I survived.
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So it’s, um, it’s very important
to be here to tell that story.
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(cheering continues)
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(cheering fades)
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♪ ♪
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♪ Life can be
only what you make it ♪
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♪ When you’re feeling down ♪
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♪ You should never fake it ♪
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♪ Say what’s on your mind ♪
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♪ And you’ll find, in time ♪
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♪ That all the negative energy ♪
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♪ It would all cease ♪
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♪ And you’ll be at peace
with yourself ♪
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♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪
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♪ You won’t really need
no one else ♪
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♪ Except for the man
up above, yeah ♪
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♪ Because he’ll give you love ♪
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(vocalizing)
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00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,493
♪ If you looked into my life ♪
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00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:11,330
♪ If you looked in my life
and see what I’ve seen... ♪
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("Everybody Loves the Sunshine"
by Roy Ayers Ubiquity playing)
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♪ My life, my life,
my life, my life ♪
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♪ In the sunshine... ♪
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MARY: The My Life journey
started with
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"Everybody Loves the Sunshine"
by Roy Ayers.
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I don’t know
what’s in that record,
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but there was something in it
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that just cracked open
everything in me.
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♪ Everybody loves
the sunshine... ♪
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00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:46,490
That was the first music, as
a child, that stuck with me...
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♪ Sunshine... ♪
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...because it made me forget
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that we lived where we lived.
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♪ Folks get down
in the sunshine... ♪
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00:06:57,501 --> 00:07:01,672
That sound used to
just drive me nuts.
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00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,133
MARY: ♪ My life, my life,
my life, my life ♪
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00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,093
♪ In the sunshine ♪
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00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:12,933
It’s something about
"in the sunshine," I--
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-"my life in the sunshine."
-(song fades)
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Just made me want to...
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00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,606
(voice breaking):
that record made me...
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00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:20,983
I’m sorry.
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00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,318
That record made me feel
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00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:27,489
something like-like
I-I could have something.
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00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:28,991
But I couldn’t
get my hands on it,
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00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:31,493
but like I could have something.
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00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:35,414
"My life in the sunshine"
was something I wanted.
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00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,499
♪ ♪
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This is where we was
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00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,471
-when I first heard that song.
-Wow. -Yeah.
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-This little girl is the person
that heard that song. -No.
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00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,267
-Yeah.
-That’s what Daddy listened to.
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00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,810
-Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.
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00:07:56,894 --> 00:08:01,064
Dad was about that music life,
and he made sure we d-digest
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00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:06,570
every kind of music
he loved or he liked.
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00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,405
-Both of them, him and Mommy.
-My dad had
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00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,365
-Grateful Dead albums.
-Yeah, rock.
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00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:12,743
Like, we would go look
at his music, and it’d be
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00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,536
all types of shit in there.
(chuckles)
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00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,580
-Be heavy funk
and rock and roll. -(laughs)
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00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,707
Like, I was like,
"Heavy funk and rock and roll?
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00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,000
-"What is this?
-(laughter)
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00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,251
-What is this stuff?"
-Yeah.
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00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,378
-That’s what Daddy listened to.
Yeah. -Yeah.
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XENOS: That’s what molded
and shaped you
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00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,215
into what you do today.
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00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:28,550
The influences in your past,
your roots.
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00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:29,676
-Mm-hmm.
-Yes.
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00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,637
-Yeah.
-MARY: Wait. Yeah, this isn’t--
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00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:32,971
-This is Hastings.
-LaTONYA: Hastings.
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-Wow. -MARY: I was four,
and LaTonya was five.
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And when we was about seven, we
moved to Schlobohm. -Schlobohm.
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♪ ♪
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MARY:
My parents had gotten divorced,
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and my dad, he was
my-my friend, you know?
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00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:48,946
I really loved him.
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00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:52,574
And so, when he was gone,
it was very sad for me.
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We moved to
a violent environment,
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and it was rough for my mom,
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00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:01,792
as a single-parent mom
trying to raise two girls.
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00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,254
-Mommy. My mom.
-My beautiful mother.
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00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:08,340
MARY: Although we had love,
my mom and my sister and I,
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00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,133
from the first day
we moved there,
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00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,052
we had to fight
the kids in the neighborhood.
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00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:16,556
And in that environment,
I don’t know how she did it.
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00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,518
She was a nurse and wanted
to take care of her family.
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00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:20,602
But she sang, too.
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00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:22,104
My mother used to sing
around the house
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00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,606
and... dance and everything,
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00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:27,484
so that’s why Mary
get all her little dances.
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00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,569
("Clean Up Woman"
by Betty Wright playing)
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00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:33,240
She would play
The Staple Singers
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00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,742
and Gladys Knight
or Aretha Franklin
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00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:38,412
and walk around the house
singing "The Clean Up Woman."
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♪ ♪
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00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:43,375
♪ A cleanup woman ♪
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00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,711
♪ Is a woman who ♪
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♪ Gets all the love
we girls leave behind... ♪
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00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,843
MARY: Anything my mom did,
she would sound just like ’em,
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00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,345
and she was so beautiful to me.
187
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:58,098
I just always wanted to be her.
I wanted to look like her.
188
00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,683
I wanted to sing
the way she did.
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00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,436
♪ So take a tip,
you better get hip... ♪
190
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:05,022
I would go to the mirror
with a brush and sing
191
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,566
and try to mimic anybody
my mother listened to.
192
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,276
♪ She’s tough ♪
193
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,361
♪ I mean,
she really cleans up. ♪
194
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:13,530
(applause)
195
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,198
(song fades)
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00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,658
♪ ♪
197
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:18,493
But it wasn’t like
I was running around,
198
00:10:18,577 --> 00:10:20,037
telling everybody
I was gonna be a singer.
199
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,790
I would just sing loud,
just sing.
200
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:30,547
But I didn’t dream big or think
for a moment that it was like,
201
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,674
"Okay, I’m gonna be
this big star,"
202
00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:36,178
because our environment
didn’t tell us that.
203
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,930
Our environment told us
that this is it.
204
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:44,394
I was the little girl
that looked at certain artists
205
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,313
and certain things
on commercials
206
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,981
and television shows and movies
207
00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:51,485
and wish that I had
certain things.
208
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,445
But in that neighborhood,
209
00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:55,822
someone will get jealous or mad
at you for having something,
210
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,240
you know?
211
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,785
For having a smile,
for having a dream.
212
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:06,249
If I was ever dreaming,
I didn’t dream anymore,
213
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,043
especially when
we became teenagers.
214
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,712
It just got worse, so I said,
215
00:11:10,796 --> 00:11:13,548
"I’m not gonna let these people
see me smiling too much.
216
00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:15,217
Matter of fact, they’re never
gonna see me smiling."
217
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,844
I never smiled
when I was a teenager.
218
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,348
I think people don’t understand,
219
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,725
about the families
that live in the projects,
220
00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:25,102
is that it’s like prison.
221
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,771
It’s like a prison
inside a prison inside a prison.
222
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:34,569
It’s people hurting people,
hurting each other.
223
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,116
People are just,
like, suffering.
224
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:42,619
And the men were so horrible
towards women.
225
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:46,415
I remember hearing
women being beaten.
226
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,292
My mother was
one of those women,
227
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,836
so I remember her pain.
228
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:53,338
I carried her pain.
I carried the neighbor’s pain.
229
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:57,259
I carried people
all over the environment’s pain.
230
00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,761
And I carried my own pain.
231
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:05,267
-♪ I didn’t ask to come here ♪
-(applause)
232
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,519
♪ I didn’t ask
to get treated badly ♪
233
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,563
♪ I didn’t ask to get molested ♪
234
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,523
♪ I didn’t ask
to get knocked, too ♪
235
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,984
♪ I didn’t ask to get
knocked up ♪
236
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,112
♪ Daddy, Daddy ♪
237
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,656
♪ Daddy, why? ♪
238
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,533
♪ Why did you leave us? ♪
239
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:24,661
♪ Oh, oh ♪
240
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,289
♪ Oh, oh, oh... ♪
241
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,416
Growing up
in an environment like that,
242
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:32,752
there were so many things that
could happen to a little girl,
243
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:35,589
and you just turned to anything
that can numb you
244
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:38,091
from feeling sad,
from feeling depressed,
245
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,010
from feeling hatred,
from feeling self-hate,
246
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,595
just so much.
247
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,305
So you turn to substance abuse.
248
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,850
You turn to whatever
makes you feel good.
249
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,602
And that’s what we did.
We drank.
250
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,687
We went to the pier,
my friends Mushie and Pidgey,
251
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:54,900
and we would go to the pier, and
we would drink our pain away.
252
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:59,279
Because I don’t even understand
why we’re living here.
253
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:01,781
How did we get here?
We’re not supposed to be here.
254
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:03,492
My mom is not
supposed to be struggling.
255
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,785
She’s not supposed to be
by herself.
256
00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:10,332
She’s not supposed to be
a woman in this environment
257
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:11,833
going through this hell.
258
00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:16,087
Singing was the escape for me.
259
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:18,715
♪ ♪
260
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,886
Singing made me forget
that we were struggling so much.
261
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:25,597
It just made me forget
262
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,516
that I was going through
what I was going through.
263
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:30,352
Even as a little girl,
I was-- had insecurities,
264
00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:32,604
and I was always blue
and always sad,
265
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:35,398
but singing made me feel free.
266
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,609
And that’s what I had.
267
00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:40,153
That’s what I held onto.
268
00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:46,326
♪ I had to see you, baby ♪
269
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:49,955
♪ I never ran so fast before ♪
270
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:53,041
♪ I rushed inside
the chapel door ♪
271
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:56,169
♪ You were waiting all alone ♪
272
00:13:56,253 --> 00:14:00,173
♪ You turned around
and heard me call ♪
273
00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:06,137
♪ Congratulations... ♪
274
00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:07,722
She never was afraid to sing.
275
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,474
Like, I remember
she used to sing outside
276
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,351
and just do--
like, she never was shy.
277
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:15,981
♪ One for me ♪
278
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:19,818
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh. ♪
279
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,571
(song ends)
280
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:26,157
And sometimes in the mall,
they-they have this, uh,
281
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:27,325
little studio thing.
282
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,744
You make a little,
um, tape for yourself.
283
00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:30,996
You know, like a studio.
284
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:33,039
They had, like, a little studio
but in the mall.
285
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:35,500
So you make your little tape,
pay your little money.
286
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:37,586
And she went.
My cousin went with her.
287
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:40,797
And I sang
"Caught Up in the Rapture."
288
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,924
And...
289
00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:44,342
brought the tape home.
290
00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:45,468
We listened to it.
291
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,554
We was like,
"Ooh, you sound good."
292
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,598
And stepfather listened to it
and was like,
293
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,349
"I want to give this
to my friend,
294
00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:52,976
"’cause he’s in
the music business, you know?
295
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,144
He’s a singer."
296
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,770
And it was, it was Jeff Redd.
297
00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:58,440
When I heard the-the demo
at the time,
298
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:01,276
you know, I heard the pain
299
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,153
of a generation.
300
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,238
That’s what it was
with her because...
301
00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:06,740
it was like ’89.
302
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,451
That was right at the tail end
of the crack era.
303
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:12,662
And a lot of the kids
that were growing up then
304
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,873
were raising themselves.
305
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:16,625
And when Mary
opened her mouth and sang,
306
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:19,210
it spoke to a generation of
307
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:22,839
children and kids that were
coming up out of that era.
308
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,924
♪ ♪
309
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,761
HARRELL:
The head of A&R at Uptown
310
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,722
was pestering me all day,
knocking on my door.
311
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,349
I was like,
"What’s so important, Kurt?"
312
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,726
He said, "Just listen to this.
313
00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:37,187
And he put, uh, Mary J. Blige.
314
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:41,399
And she was singing
Anita Baker, and...
315
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:44,736
I was like, "Who is this?"
316
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:47,238
"She’s 19 years old."
317
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,325
"Where’s she living?" "Yonkers."
318
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,202
I said, "I’m coming tomorrow."
319
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,412
♪ ♪
320
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,915
MARY: I remember that day
like it was yesterday.
321
00:15:56,998 --> 00:16:01,628
He was downstairs in, um,
I think it was a black BMW.
322
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:07,258
HARRELL: I remember I was
driving a four-dour BMW 750,
323
00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:10,428
and I pulled up in the projects.
324
00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:14,265
I was wearing sky blue pants,
white Gucci loafers
325
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:19,396
and a black-and-white silk
cheetah shirt with big glasses.
326
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,816
MARY: He had a black-and-white
polka dot shirt on.
327
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,901
And I was afraid for him
because he was
328
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:28,321
this very wealthy man that was
in this neighborhood that was...
329
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:29,906
terrible.
330
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,658
And I was like, you know,
"Come on. (chuckles)
331
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,827
Come on." I was just waving him
across the street.
332
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:37,497
So, we got on the elevator,
came upstairs, and...
333
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:39,874
...he said, "Sing."
334
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,794
♪ When we met ♪
335
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,463
♪ Always knew ♪
336
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:49,759
♪ I would feel that magic
for you... ♪
337
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,594
MARY: I guess my mom
was standing there.
338
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,556
I guess people were all around,
but all I can remember
339
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,434
is him and what I had to do,
340
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,353
because I zone everything out
to sing.
341
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:03,106
And I sang the whole
Anita Baker Rapture album.
342
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:07,861
♪ I love you here by me, baby ♪
343
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:11,740
♪ You let my love
fly freely... ♪
344
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:14,325
MARY: And he was just
staring at me and going,
345
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:16,244
"Oh, my God."
346
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:20,415
I remember saying to Mary,
her mother and her sister that,
347
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,918
"Your daughter Mary,
she’s gonna sing for royalty.
348
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,336
"Your daughter Mary,
349
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,672
"she’s gonna be down
with the kings
350
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:29,632
and queens of rock and roll."
351
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,843
I was like,
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right."
352
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:33,386
Because at any moment,
353
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,305
somebody could just pull
the rug up from under you.
354
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,849
That’s how-- that’s
the environment we lived in.
355
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,393
Whether or not she believed
all of it could come true,
356
00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:43,146
I believe, in her heart,
with that talent she had,
357
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,023
she knew that she was destined
358
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,317
for something bigger than
being in the house.
359
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:51,696
♪ I love you here by me,
baby, baby ♪
360
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:57,452
♪ Oh, you let my love fly
so free, free, Anita... ♪
361
00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:59,496
I told her that, um,
"We’re gonna sign you.
362
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,080
Welcome to Uptown Records."
363
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:03,958
-♪ For all time ♪
-♪ For all time ♪
364
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:07,170
(both vocalizing)
365
00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:12,342
♪ Caught up in the rapture of ♪
366
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,761
-Sing, girl. (vocalizing)
-♪ No, no, no, I love you ♪
367
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,930
Come on, take it away.
368
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:19,849
-Take it away. Take it away.
-(crowd cheering)
369
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,935
(scatting "Sweet Love")
370
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:33,780
♪ Don’t you cry,
don’t you cry on me ♪
371
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:34,948
♪ I promise I won’t cry ♪
372
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,742
I love you. I love you.
373
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,828
-(song ends)
-(crowd cheering)
374
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,122
Thank you!
375
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:45,959
-Push it high.
-Anita Baker is my angel.
376
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,044
♪ ♪
377
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:59,097
-(sputtering lips)
-(indistinct chatter)
378
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:02,433
This will be good first for me,
379
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:04,602
second for me, if it works.
380
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:08,356
So many people around me
knew what was coming.
381
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,526
Knew what I had in me.
382
00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:14,237
(crowd cheering)
383
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,613
How you doing?
384
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:17,782
-Hello. Hey, ladies.
-(squealing)
385
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:19,242
WOMAN:
I was 14.
386
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,244
I heard "You Remind Me,"
the first video
387
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,079
where she had the peach bustier
388
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:26,040
and the suit, oh,
and there was nothing like it.
389
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:29,043
To see a woman from
a background similar to mine
390
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:32,213
being a moving,
actualized woman,
391
00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:33,965
it gave me so much hope.
392
00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:35,300
I love your music,
and you’ve been
393
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:36,759
an inspiration to me
since I was a little girl.
394
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,761
-I know you hear it
all the time. -Thank you.
395
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,054
Thank you so much.
396
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:41,681
WOMAN: All right, guys,
look right over here.
397
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:43,099
Perfect. Beautiful!
398
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,851
-Thank you so much.
-You’re welcome.
399
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:48,479
MARY: They thought I was
more talented than I believed.
400
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:50,231
-Hi. How are you?
-Hi!
401
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,567
MARY: They knew me
before I knew myself.
402
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:53,943
-I love you.
-Oh, you look good.
403
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,320
We are two of your biggest fans.
404
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,529
Thank you.
405
00:19:57,572 --> 00:19:59,198
COMBS:
When I first met Mary,
406
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:00,658
I was working at Uptown.
407
00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:04,329
She came to my office
and she sung a cappella for me.
408
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,414
(Mary vocalizing)
409
00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:13,838
COMBS: It was just
this raspy, like, gutter,
410
00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:17,342
ghetto tone, pain,
411
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,469
like just everything
that was going on,
412
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:22,680
’cause there was a lot of pain
in the streets.
413
00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,766
(Mary continues vocalizing)
414
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:38,321
COMBS: And there was
a lot of young Black women
415
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:41,366
who could relate
to where she came from.
416
00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:43,660
They didn’t have
no voice out there.
417
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,664
Then, man, this girl from
Schlobohm projects
418
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,166
with a attitude,
that’ll fight you,
419
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,503
that got a slash on her face,
she got a cut on her face,
420
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,088
like, "Man."
421
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:58,967
I was like,
"She is gonna be big,
422
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:03,179
because...
nobody sounds like her."
423
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:06,808
He believed in me
more than I believed in myself.
424
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:11,145
I didn’t know what I had,
who I was, but he knew.
425
00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:14,357
And he helped me to believe
that I was a real artist,
426
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,692
and I needed that.
427
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,276
I needed that push.
I needed that pep talk.
428
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,028
I needed that, "You got it, sis.
429
00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,780
You can do it.
I’m proud of you."
430
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:25,493
I needed everything he gave me,
because I was very insecure.
431
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,706
NAS: Mary coming out of
Schlobohm projects,
432
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:33,042
she has one foot there,
struggling to get out,
433
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:36,713
and one foot
in the recording studio,
434
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:38,840
with this opportunity to
435
00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:42,510
give this voice to the world.
436
00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:45,680
HARRELL: For Puff, this was
early on in his career,
437
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:48,099
and he was looking to stand out
438
00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:51,060
and make a name for hisself
within Uptown.
439
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:54,564
And we were very supportive of,
"You go ahead, do that.
440
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:57,233
We’ll provide the resources
so you can kill that."
441
00:21:57,316 --> 00:22:00,028
(quiet chatter)
442
00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:01,320
COMBS:
The last one you-- when I told--
443
00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:02,822
the thing I told you
before you went in there,
444
00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:04,782
I said, "Say it like you know it
and be confident with it,"
445
00:22:04,866 --> 00:22:06,284
and that’s how you were
singing the whole way through.
446
00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:08,619
-That was good about it.
-Okay.
447
00:22:08,703 --> 00:22:10,413
MARY: I didn’t even know
what I was doing,
448
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:12,790
because I was in survival mode,
449
00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:15,543
meaning, like, I had
to save my family, you know.
450
00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:18,337
I had to make sure that they
were all out of the projects
451
00:22:18,421 --> 00:22:23,176
and they were good, and I was
singing for my life, literally.
452
00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:24,761
COMBS:
At the end of the chorus,
453
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,888
you had just said a little bit
more at the end of the chorus
454
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:29,474
-on the, on the one before that.
-Okay, cool.
455
00:22:29,557 --> 00:22:32,810
MISA HYLTON: I met Mary
at the studio with Puffy,
456
00:22:32,894 --> 00:22:34,437
and we spent
a lot of time together.
457
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,023
We quickly became like sisters.
458
00:22:38,066 --> 00:22:40,068
COMBS:
Misa was my girl,
459
00:22:40,151 --> 00:22:43,029
the mother of my first son,
Justin,
460
00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:45,406
and Misa was just the flyest,
you know?
461
00:22:45,490 --> 00:22:47,617
It was just, like, her cut,
462
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:51,079
the way she was just
doing her hair, her bob,
463
00:22:51,162 --> 00:22:52,371
the way she was
wearing her swag.
464
00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:53,706
You know what I’m saying?
I was like,
465
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:56,334
"Yo, you should be
a stylist for Mary."
466
00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:59,087
Early in our career,
it was really difficult
467
00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:01,881
to get our foot in the door
with the fashion houses.
468
00:23:01,964 --> 00:23:04,217
First, we were young.
469
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:07,053
Secondly, we were female.
470
00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:09,222
And then we were
women of color--
471
00:23:09,305 --> 00:23:10,807
young women of color.
472
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:14,018
("Real Love" playing,
Mary vocalizing)
473
00:23:14,102 --> 00:23:19,357
And so I had to design and
create custom looks for Mary.
474
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:21,692
And I know that
I saw things in her
475
00:23:21,776 --> 00:23:23,277
that she didn’t see in herself,
476
00:23:23,361 --> 00:23:25,071
that she wasn’t able
to see in herself yet.
477
00:23:25,154 --> 00:23:29,408
MARY: They saw what I was,
and between her and Puffy,
478
00:23:29,492 --> 00:23:31,828
they gave me
the most iconic looks.
479
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:33,704
♪ We are lovers
through and through ♪
480
00:23:33,788 --> 00:23:36,374
♪ And though we made it
through the storm... ♪
481
00:23:36,457 --> 00:23:40,670
COMBS: It was unapologetically
Black, real and soulful.
482
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:43,339
HARRELL: We felt like
we were running a movement,
483
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:46,509
and the movement was called
Ghetto Fabulous.
484
00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:49,095
And Mary J. Blige was
the queen of this movement.
485
00:23:49,178 --> 00:23:52,014
♪ Be the real love
that I need... ♪
486
00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:53,850
SMITH:
Mary was the first
487
00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:58,146
to bring her own kind
of R&B, hip-hop swag
488
00:23:58,229 --> 00:24:00,690
to the very boy-based rap scene.
489
00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:04,318
♪ I got to have a real love ♪
490
00:24:04,402 --> 00:24:05,736
♪ Real love ♪
491
00:24:07,238 --> 00:24:09,740
♪ I’m searching
for a real love... ♪
492
00:24:09,824 --> 00:24:12,243
There wasn’t
a lot of R&B singers
493
00:24:12,326 --> 00:24:14,036
singing over hip-hop tracks.
494
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:17,206
So that-that alone right there
was like, "Oh, okay.
495
00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:19,083
"We can, uh, you know,
we can groove to this.
496
00:24:19,167 --> 00:24:21,460
"We can do our dances
off of this.
497
00:24:21,544 --> 00:24:23,796
"This don’t sound like
our mama’s music,
498
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:27,133
but she’s singing,
so Mama might like it, too."
499
00:24:27,216 --> 00:24:30,803
♪ I’m searching
for a real love. ♪
500
00:24:30,887 --> 00:24:32,513
(song ends)
501
00:24:32,597 --> 00:24:34,390
I’m from the hood,
502
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:38,186
and it was like
dudes had their representation.
503
00:24:38,269 --> 00:24:42,273
They had all of their stories,
but when it came to females,
504
00:24:42,356 --> 00:24:43,983
I just didn’t see me.
505
00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:46,068
I didn’t see me.
506
00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:50,740
SMITH: At that time, the rule
for Black female artists was
507
00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:53,075
"sing loud
and smooth yourself out."
508
00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:54,327
-(crowd chattering)
-All right,
509
00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:55,661
y’all know what
this next record is.
510
00:24:55,745 --> 00:24:57,455
Everybody know what this is.
511
00:24:57,538 --> 00:25:00,124
Mary was like, "I don’t know."
(laughs)
512
00:25:00,208 --> 00:25:04,921
-♪ You... ♪
-(crowd cheering)
513
00:25:05,004 --> 00:25:07,632
♪ You remind me, yeah ♪
514
00:25:07,715 --> 00:25:08,716
Come on, y’all!
515
00:25:08,799 --> 00:25:10,968
♪ You remind me ♪
516
00:25:11,052 --> 00:25:17,600
♪ Of such sweet memories... ♪
517
00:25:18,601 --> 00:25:22,063
Sunday, no bodyguards.
518
00:25:22,146 --> 00:25:25,066
Crowd’s, like, right there.
519
00:25:25,149 --> 00:25:26,984
You know, we’re all like...
520
00:25:28,319 --> 00:25:30,154
...you know,
"This is gonna be great."
521
00:25:30,238 --> 00:25:32,323
You know, ’cause
the record’s out; it’s playing.
522
00:25:32,406 --> 00:25:35,576
If-if you’re in hip-hop,
you know it, you know.
523
00:25:35,660 --> 00:25:38,663
She’s not a pop star yet,
but she’s on her way. (chuckles)
524
00:25:38,746 --> 00:25:40,081
(Mary vocalizing)
525
00:25:40,164 --> 00:25:42,124
♪ Of sweet memories... ♪
526
00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:44,794
COMBS: We went into a lane
that nobody was at,
527
00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:46,963
and so the type of fan hysteria
528
00:25:47,046 --> 00:25:50,091
and her connection
with women was crazy.
529
00:25:50,174 --> 00:25:52,551
(crowd singing along):
♪ You ♪
530
00:25:52,635 --> 00:25:56,639
♪ You remind me of a love
that I once knew... ♪
531
00:25:56,722 --> 00:25:58,099
We were like,
"Oh, we love this girl.
532
00:25:58,182 --> 00:25:59,433
We love her sound.
Like, who is she?"
533
00:25:59,517 --> 00:26:00,810
And then we saw the video.
534
00:26:00,893 --> 00:26:03,437
("You Remind Me" playing)
535
00:26:03,521 --> 00:26:05,773
And we were like,
"Oh, my God, the hat to the back
536
00:26:05,856 --> 00:26:07,858
with the combat boots
and the tennis skirts."
537
00:26:07,942 --> 00:26:14,156
And it was like she was our
urban girl, hood role model.
538
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,367
Like, we wanted to be
just like her.
539
00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:19,996
I saw something
that we’ve never seen before
540
00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:21,998
but something we knew existed.
541
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,582
I knew that existed. I was her.
542
00:26:23,666 --> 00:26:26,711
So she gave us a face,
she gave us a name,
543
00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:30,131
she gave us a story,
she humanized us.
544
00:26:30,214 --> 00:26:34,885
SMITH: She was like,
"I’m here and I’m beautiful,
545
00:26:34,969 --> 00:26:37,305
"and I’m hip-hop but I’m Mary.
546
00:26:37,388 --> 00:26:40,391
"I’m bringing all of Yonkers
with me.
547
00:26:40,474 --> 00:26:44,478
Good, bad, whatever-- I’m Mary
and this is what I’m doing."
548
00:26:44,562 --> 00:26:48,357
And it was so great for us to
see this authentic Black woman.
549
00:26:48,441 --> 00:26:53,904
I started to feel good
about who I am,
550
00:26:53,988 --> 00:26:56,282
about being a little rougher
around the edges,
551
00:26:56,365 --> 00:26:58,409
about having
a strong point of view.
552
00:26:58,492 --> 00:27:02,663
I felt like I could be
who I actually was
553
00:27:02,747 --> 00:27:04,915
and that that was cool,
that was great.
554
00:27:04,999 --> 00:27:08,502
And in fact, I didn’t want to be
like anything else, you know?
555
00:27:08,586 --> 00:27:13,132
You could just be
another girl with a dream
556
00:27:13,215 --> 00:27:14,842
and you could be special.
557
00:27:14,925 --> 00:27:16,510
We didn’t see, we didn’t--
558
00:27:16,594 --> 00:27:19,472
we still don’t get
to see that a lot, you know?
559
00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:20,639
Still.
560
00:27:20,723 --> 00:27:23,392
So, for me, as a 13-year-old,
561
00:27:23,476 --> 00:27:28,689
that really gave me a certain,
like, permission that I needed.
562
00:27:29,982 --> 00:27:34,528
♪ I ♪
563
00:27:34,612 --> 00:27:39,867
♪ Can remember when ♪
564
00:27:39,950 --> 00:27:42,119
("Reminisce" playing)
565
00:27:42,203 --> 00:27:45,081
♪ We had ♪
566
00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:49,752
-♪ We had it all ♪ -♪ Reminisce
on the love we had ♪
567
00:27:49,835 --> 00:27:52,797
♪ You and I... ♪
568
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,507
Hello.
569
00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:56,092
(quiet chatter)
570
00:27:56,175 --> 00:27:58,219
-Hello, everyone.
-Hi.
571
00:27:58,302 --> 00:27:59,553
("Reminisce" playing
over stereo)
572
00:27:59,637 --> 00:28:03,891
♪ You know we had it all ♪
573
00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:06,477
♪ You and I ♪
574
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:09,980
♪ Reminisce on the love we had ♪
575
00:28:10,064 --> 00:28:12,441
♪ Yeah... ♪
576
00:28:12,525 --> 00:28:14,402
Back then, people put speakers
in the windows.
577
00:28:14,485 --> 00:28:15,653
(laughter)
578
00:28:15,736 --> 00:28:17,446
And blast through
the whole block.
579
00:28:17,530 --> 00:28:21,409
And, um, I heard "Reminisce,"
and I was-- I stopped.
580
00:28:21,492 --> 00:28:23,285
I was like, "Who’s that?"
581
00:28:23,369 --> 00:28:24,745
I asked the guy, I was like,
"Who is this?"
582
00:28:24,829 --> 00:28:26,247
"It’s a new artist,
Mary J. Blige."
583
00:28:26,330 --> 00:28:28,916
So I definitely went to The Wiz.
Remember the store The Wiz?
584
00:28:28,999 --> 00:28:30,543
-Yes. -The Wiz.
-(laughter)
585
00:28:30,626 --> 00:28:32,044
MAN: And I picked
that cassette tape up.
586
00:28:32,128 --> 00:28:34,130
It popped on me,
I played it so much.
587
00:28:34,213 --> 00:28:35,673
-(laughter)
-WOMAN: I used to listen
588
00:28:35,756 --> 00:28:37,007
to What’s the 411?
589
00:28:37,091 --> 00:28:39,510
and put the headphones to her
at 15 months.
590
00:28:39,593 --> 00:28:41,512
-And it was so bad to...
-(chuckles)
591
00:28:41,595 --> 00:28:44,223
She actually thought, like,
Mary was a part of our family.
592
00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:46,642
-(laughter)
-As she, as she got older,
593
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:49,687
she’s like, "Where’s-where’s
Mary? Where’s Mary?"
594
00:28:49,770 --> 00:28:51,313
(laughter)
595
00:28:51,397 --> 00:28:54,024
(excited chatter)
596
00:28:54,108 --> 00:28:55,359
Hi, Mary!
597
00:28:55,443 --> 00:28:57,611
I feel like
I know her personally.
598
00:28:57,695 --> 00:29:00,239
Um, I connect with her
through her music.
599
00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:02,616
And I just, I just want
to just hug her.
600
00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:04,326
(cheering)
601
00:29:04,410 --> 00:29:07,705
HARRELL: She’s transcending
in terms of where she was at 19
602
00:29:07,788 --> 00:29:12,751
to where she is riding around
downtown in Manhattan with stars
603
00:29:12,835 --> 00:29:15,504
and being made a star.
604
00:29:15,588 --> 00:29:18,048
And at the same time,
she started a relationship
605
00:29:18,132 --> 00:29:21,302
with K-Ci of Jodeci,
and they started going out.
606
00:29:21,385 --> 00:29:23,137
K-Ci was a proven
607
00:29:23,220 --> 00:29:27,099
church crooner
from eight or nine years old.
608
00:29:27,183 --> 00:29:31,103
He was Little Cedric,
and then became K-Ci of Jodeci.
609
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,523
And I know for her as an artist,
610
00:29:34,607 --> 00:29:37,151
that was a challenge
artistically and vocally
611
00:29:37,234 --> 00:29:38,569
that she needed.
612
00:29:38,652 --> 00:29:42,281
("I Don’t Want to Do Anything"
playing, K-Ci vocalizing)
613
00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:45,868
♪ If loving you is
all that I have to do... ♪
614
00:29:45,951 --> 00:29:49,121
’Cause she’s a kid who grew up
singing in the house.
615
00:29:49,205 --> 00:29:52,082
So now she goes out with a guy,
they can sing in the house,
616
00:29:52,166 --> 00:29:54,210
and she can hear
how strong she is.
617
00:29:54,293 --> 00:29:55,961
(Mary and K-Ci vocalizing)
618
00:29:56,045 --> 00:29:59,507
♪ We will be as one ♪
619
00:29:59,590 --> 00:30:01,800
♪ Just me and you... ♪
620
00:30:01,884 --> 00:30:05,221
MARY: I really liked him,
and when I like you, I like you.
621
00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:07,806
I just fell in love with him.
622
00:30:07,890 --> 00:30:09,642
♪ I will love you ♪
623
00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:11,519
♪ Will you please me, baby? ♪
624
00:30:11,602 --> 00:30:13,103
♪ I will please you ♪
625
00:30:13,187 --> 00:30:14,897
♪ Girl, don’t leave me ♪
626
00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:16,273
♪ I won’t leave you ♪
627
00:30:16,357 --> 00:30:18,234
♪ Let’s make it easy ♪
628
00:30:18,317 --> 00:30:20,486
(both vocalizing)
629
00:30:20,569 --> 00:30:23,572
♪ Oh, yeah, baby. ♪
630
00:30:23,656 --> 00:30:25,282
Thank you.
631
00:30:25,366 --> 00:30:27,368
-(cheering)
-(band playing flourish)
632
00:30:29,787 --> 00:30:32,498
-(song ends)
-(cheering continues)
633
00:30:32,581 --> 00:30:33,874
HARRELL:
So I think
634
00:30:33,958 --> 00:30:36,835
what Puff gave her
in enthusiasm,
635
00:30:36,919 --> 00:30:39,213
K-Ci and the experience
with Jodeci gave her
636
00:30:39,296 --> 00:30:43,968
the self-confidence to know
that, "I’m as good as this,
637
00:30:44,051 --> 00:30:46,470
’cause these dudes is amazing."
638
00:30:46,554 --> 00:30:49,473
So I think all those things
at the same time, one,
639
00:30:49,557 --> 00:30:51,100
probably gave her
self-confidence,
640
00:30:51,183 --> 00:30:55,563
and-and, two, uh,
probably left her confused, too.
641
00:30:55,646 --> 00:30:57,648
♪ ♪
642
00:30:59,358 --> 00:31:00,901
MARY:
Things had happened so fast,
643
00:31:00,985 --> 00:31:03,404
I didn’t even know
they had happened.
644
00:31:04,697 --> 00:31:07,783
You know, I ended up
on tour so quickly.
645
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:09,076
(crowd cheering)
646
00:31:09,159 --> 00:31:11,036
I ended up
selling all these records
647
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:12,830
and doing platinum parties.
648
00:31:12,913 --> 00:31:14,582
(crowd cheering)
649
00:31:14,665 --> 00:31:17,960
It was like I was just moving
and didn’t know what happened.
650
00:31:19,086 --> 00:31:20,421
I just was there.
651
00:31:20,504 --> 00:31:22,506
My body was just there.
652
00:31:25,551 --> 00:31:27,428
JAMARKO MILLER:
You know, you take a kid
653
00:31:27,511 --> 00:31:30,681
out of the projects,
you sold two million albums.
654
00:31:30,764 --> 00:31:32,349
Now you got to--
you know what I’m saying?
655
00:31:32,433 --> 00:31:33,559
Now you got to go here,
you got to go there.
656
00:31:33,642 --> 00:31:34,768
You’re like, "What?"
657
00:31:34,852 --> 00:31:37,855
Everything just went,
went, went, went,
658
00:31:37,938 --> 00:31:42,067
and-and it went very fast,
to where I could tell it was
659
00:31:42,151 --> 00:31:44,862
exciting for her, but I could
also tell it was a little scary.
660
00:31:44,945 --> 00:31:46,947
(wind whistling softly)
661
00:31:47,031 --> 00:31:51,201
MARY: It was kind of like, you
know, "So, what-what is this?"
662
00:31:51,285 --> 00:31:53,912
I’m-I’m a-- how about this?
I’m afraid of it, anyway.
663
00:31:53,996 --> 00:31:56,373
Whatever it is, I’m fucking
scared to death of it,
664
00:31:56,457 --> 00:31:59,126
so I’m scared to death
of myself.
665
00:31:59,209 --> 00:32:02,504
So... whatever it takes
for me to be comfortable,
666
00:32:02,588 --> 00:32:04,965
if I need to drink some more,
if I need to do some more coke,
667
00:32:05,049 --> 00:32:06,967
whatever way
I need to do to loosen up
668
00:32:07,051 --> 00:32:09,345
and try to take this in.
669
00:32:15,726 --> 00:32:17,728
♪ ♪
670
00:32:26,070 --> 00:32:29,281
This shit looks like Schlobohm.
671
00:32:29,365 --> 00:32:31,325
-Hmm?
-It looks like Schlobohm.
672
00:32:31,408 --> 00:32:32,951
LaTONYA:
Th-Them projects, right?
673
00:32:33,035 --> 00:32:34,787
That’s how
all the projects look.
674
00:32:34,870 --> 00:32:37,081
MARY: I think
Schlobohm may look worse.
675
00:32:40,125 --> 00:32:43,587
I remember hearing myself
for the first time on the radio.
676
00:32:43,671 --> 00:32:46,256
I think I said,
"Thank you, Jesus." (chuckles)
677
00:32:46,340 --> 00:32:50,594
I knew I was gonna be able
to get my mom and my sister,
678
00:32:50,678 --> 00:32:53,681
my family
from out of the projects.
679
00:32:53,764 --> 00:32:56,141
But I-I don’t remember
feeling happy.
680
00:32:56,225 --> 00:32:58,560
It was definitely a transition,
681
00:32:58,644 --> 00:33:01,230
I think, for all of us,
for our whole family,
682
00:33:01,313 --> 00:33:03,899
from going from dealing with
683
00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:06,360
the day-to-day
of living in the projects
684
00:33:06,443 --> 00:33:08,320
to...
685
00:33:08,404 --> 00:33:13,200
one day hearing Mary’s records
on the radio,
686
00:33:13,283 --> 00:33:15,244
(laughs): but we still
lived in the projects.
687
00:33:15,327 --> 00:33:17,705
Then the next thing
you know, like,
688
00:33:17,788 --> 00:33:21,291
we’re moving to a suburb.
689
00:33:21,375 --> 00:33:23,043
It was extreme. (chuckles)
690
00:33:23,127 --> 00:33:24,336
It was an extreme transition.
691
00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:26,338
-(jet engine whirring)
-Hi.
692
00:33:26,422 --> 00:33:28,549
Hi. How you doing, ma’am?
Frank Dickens is my name.
693
00:33:28,632 --> 00:33:30,050
Mary.
694
00:33:30,134 --> 00:33:31,760
MARY:
I measure success for myself
695
00:33:31,844 --> 00:33:36,432
when I’m able to,
from the inside,
696
00:33:36,515 --> 00:33:39,560
be happy enough to know
that I’m successful,
697
00:33:39,643 --> 00:33:42,396
to know that
I did something great,
698
00:33:42,479 --> 00:33:43,939
to be secure enough to know
699
00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:46,316
that I am great
or I did something great,
700
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:48,694
and that’s why
I can understand it now.
701
00:33:48,777 --> 00:33:50,904
I didn’t understand it then
because I wasn’t--
702
00:33:50,988 --> 00:33:53,615
I didn’t feel like
I was great in my heart.
703
00:33:53,699 --> 00:33:57,661
It’s, "Hey, I know
you see me as this person
704
00:33:57,745 --> 00:33:59,455
"and my life looks like
so much fun.
705
00:33:59,538 --> 00:34:02,666
"Well, guess what,
my life sucks, too.
706
00:34:02,750 --> 00:34:05,878
"And, you know, and I’m doing
everything I can to make it--
707
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:07,379
to get over it and get better."
708
00:34:07,463 --> 00:34:09,089
"Well, you have all this money."
(stammers)
709
00:34:09,173 --> 00:34:11,175
Oh, bullshit.
You know what I mean?
710
00:34:11,258 --> 00:34:13,385
I know more people who have
had money, have lost it,
711
00:34:13,469 --> 00:34:17,181
have had it, and they--
doesn’t, doesn’t change you.
712
00:34:17,264 --> 00:34:19,224
The way they feel inside.
713
00:34:19,308 --> 00:34:22,019
I couldn’t even enjoy...
714
00:34:22,102 --> 00:34:23,479
what-what was going on.
715
00:34:23,562 --> 00:34:25,063
I couldn’t even
enjoy my success.
716
00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:30,444
And I was in a relationship
where we were both young,
717
00:34:30,527 --> 00:34:32,946
both super successful.
718
00:34:34,698 --> 00:34:37,701
I loved him, you know, but
neither one of us could handle
719
00:34:37,785 --> 00:34:39,536
the success of our lives.
720
00:34:41,079 --> 00:34:45,292
So we became very, um, dark,
the whole thing.
721
00:34:45,375 --> 00:34:47,211
And abusive.
722
00:34:47,294 --> 00:34:49,171
♪ ♪
723
00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:53,926
It was, it was
a lot of just m-manipulation.
724
00:34:55,636 --> 00:34:57,179
It was like,
but I was still there.
725
00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:58,931
Like, I don’t-- you know.
726
00:35:00,307 --> 00:35:02,476
I’m gonna be here. I’m-a
dumb myself all the way down.
727
00:35:02,559 --> 00:35:04,853
I’m-a play myself
all the way down
728
00:35:04,937 --> 00:35:07,773
so I don’t think I’m special,
so I can be with you.
729
00:35:13,403 --> 00:35:14,947
CHUCKY THOMPSON:
When I first met Mary,
730
00:35:15,030 --> 00:35:17,950
she had on, I swear,
you had a sweat suit on
731
00:35:18,033 --> 00:35:21,078
with the little
suede bucket jawn, dude,
732
00:35:21,161 --> 00:35:23,372
-and the Timberland jawns on,
dude. -(laughter)
733
00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:25,374
And was in the corner like this.
734
00:35:25,457 --> 00:35:27,084
I said, "Man, I’m not saying
nothing to her, yo.
735
00:35:27,167 --> 00:35:28,627
(laughter)
736
00:35:28,710 --> 00:35:32,214
She be done whupped everybody
head up in this jawn, dude."
737
00:35:32,297 --> 00:35:34,591
When it came to production, I
was pretty much new to the game.
738
00:35:34,675 --> 00:35:36,468
I had a couple of records
out at the time.
739
00:35:36,552 --> 00:35:38,804
And then Puff comes to me,
and he’s like,
740
00:35:38,887 --> 00:35:40,806
"Yo, I got this record
to do with Mary,
741
00:35:40,889 --> 00:35:42,891
and if you want to do it,
let’s do it."
742
00:35:42,975 --> 00:35:44,643
COMBS: So many people
were coming up to me
743
00:35:44,726 --> 00:35:46,144
and they’d be like,
"You gonna be all right
744
00:35:46,228 --> 00:35:48,397
with the sophomore jinx?"
745
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,691
The sophomore jinx, you know.
746
00:35:50,774 --> 00:35:53,193
People don’t usually
come out with a-a album
747
00:35:53,277 --> 00:35:55,362
that’s doper than
their first one.
748
00:35:56,780 --> 00:36:00,617
That’s when I hooked up
with Chucky and Bub.
749
00:36:00,701 --> 00:36:03,787
Can’t stop the Bub rush.
750
00:36:03,871 --> 00:36:05,914
BIG BUB:
I was 23 years old.
751
00:36:05,998 --> 00:36:07,916
I’m writing
for different artists,
752
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:11,420
and here comes Puffy like, "Yo,
I need these records for Mary."
753
00:36:11,503 --> 00:36:14,214
I’m like, "Okay, cool."
754
00:36:14,298 --> 00:36:17,885
First time we met,
she was so cool.
755
00:36:17,968 --> 00:36:20,888
Elevator door open up,
she’s in there with security,
756
00:36:20,971 --> 00:36:23,265
and I came through there
with my, "Yo."
757
00:36:23,348 --> 00:36:24,766
I said, "We ’bout
to make history.
758
00:36:24,850 --> 00:36:26,226
We ’bout to make some crack."
759
00:36:26,310 --> 00:36:27,644
She was like this.
760
00:36:27,728 --> 00:36:29,730
"Oh, really?
Well, we gonna see."
761
00:36:29,813 --> 00:36:31,523
I said, "Okay, cool."
762
00:36:31,607 --> 00:36:33,400
I said, "Watch.
763
00:36:33,483 --> 00:36:36,612
Watch, Mary. We ’bout
to change the whole game."
764
00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:38,822
And the rest is history.
765
00:36:38,906 --> 00:36:42,242
MARY: I always made it where
I controlled the environment.
766
00:36:42,326 --> 00:36:44,077
It’s like I didn’t
really trust people,
767
00:36:44,161 --> 00:36:46,330
so I didn’t like
a lot of people around
768
00:36:46,413 --> 00:36:50,208
unless I knew them and we were
really, really close.
769
00:36:50,292 --> 00:36:51,460
-Yo, what’s up?
-How you doing?
770
00:36:51,543 --> 00:36:52,628
Chillin’. How are you?
771
00:36:52,711 --> 00:36:54,171
THOMPSON:
I wasn’t even looking at Mary
772
00:36:54,254 --> 00:36:57,299
as, uh, you know,
as this big artist.
773
00:36:57,382 --> 00:37:00,636
I looked at her in the light of
being, like, my extended sister.
774
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:05,057
And... I just wanted
to make sure she had that royal
775
00:37:05,140 --> 00:37:07,851
but yet still grounded,
hood feeling
776
00:37:07,935 --> 00:37:12,522
about the songs that we were--
or that I was delivering to her.
777
00:37:12,606 --> 00:37:17,110
And at-at that particular time,
you know, it was the early ’90s,
778
00:37:17,194 --> 00:37:19,780
so a lot of music
that was happening at that time
779
00:37:19,863 --> 00:37:23,033
reflected 20 years back,
which was the ’70s.
780
00:37:23,116 --> 00:37:27,829
Which was really, like, a lot
of Black exploitation films
781
00:37:27,913 --> 00:37:31,583
and just that energy
of street music and street life,
782
00:37:31,667 --> 00:37:33,293
and we embodied that.
783
00:37:34,252 --> 00:37:35,796
We’re both from the same
784
00:37:35,879 --> 00:37:38,048
hood or whatever
you want to call it.
785
00:37:38,131 --> 00:37:41,426
People that are in that,
it’s not all good all the time.
786
00:37:41,510 --> 00:37:43,720
So when you find somebody
that’s good,
787
00:37:43,804 --> 00:37:46,014
it’s like, man.
788
00:37:46,098 --> 00:37:47,516
You know what I’m saying?
789
00:37:47,599 --> 00:37:49,184
It’s-it’s good out here
in the world.
790
00:37:49,267 --> 00:37:50,894
So I’m-a be real.
791
00:37:50,978 --> 00:37:53,230
When-when that first
411 album came out,
792
00:37:53,313 --> 00:37:56,233
and I know that Puff was
pushing the fashion thing,
793
00:37:56,316 --> 00:37:58,360
and it was like
a little hard-core,
794
00:37:58,443 --> 00:38:00,570
I said, "Hold up, joe.
795
00:38:00,654 --> 00:38:03,198
It’s-it’s more to her
than that."
796
00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:04,574
So, I guess, from the songs
797
00:38:04,658 --> 00:38:07,119
and the way I was coming
with that music,
798
00:38:07,202 --> 00:38:09,329
I-- that was where
my brain was at.
799
00:38:09,413 --> 00:38:11,331
You was dead-on with that shit.
800
00:38:11,415 --> 00:38:14,418
You was dead-on with the dark,
the dark that I was living.
801
00:38:14,501 --> 00:38:16,461
You was dead-on with
the street that I came from.
802
00:38:16,545 --> 00:38:17,879
You was dead-on with the--
803
00:38:17,963 --> 00:38:19,756
-all the shit that I was.
-(chuckles)
804
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,049
What’s the 411? was dope.
805
00:38:21,133 --> 00:38:22,718
It felt good. It was great.
806
00:38:22,801 --> 00:38:24,720
It was all the stuff,
but by the time
807
00:38:24,803 --> 00:38:29,558
I got to this My Life part
of my life, I was all fucked-up,
808
00:38:29,641 --> 00:38:32,644
and I needed somebody
to understand, through music,
809
00:38:32,728 --> 00:38:35,522
and you-you tr-- you-you did.
810
00:38:35,605 --> 00:38:37,232
You understood.
811
00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:40,819
Her truth came out more
on My Life than What’s the 411?
812
00:38:40,902 --> 00:38:44,322
What’s the 411? came out
real, real dope.
813
00:38:44,406 --> 00:38:45,949
But then when we went to this,
814
00:38:46,033 --> 00:38:49,077
when we went to this
another level of truth,
815
00:38:49,161 --> 00:38:50,787
My Life was
a whole different thing.
816
00:38:50,871 --> 00:38:52,122
The "Be With You" track
817
00:38:52,205 --> 00:38:55,167
-jump-started the whole feeling.
-Yo, that’s it, man.
818
00:38:55,250 --> 00:38:57,961
When I heard that--
Puff came to my house in Jersey,
819
00:38:58,045 --> 00:38:59,963
and he-he was like, "Yo, I got
something for you to hear."
820
00:39:00,047 --> 00:39:03,300
He was just, like, you know, all
antsy and, you know, excited.
821
00:39:03,383 --> 00:39:05,802
So I get in the car with Puff,
and it starts.
822
00:39:05,886 --> 00:39:07,512
-(humming "Be With You")
-("Be With You" playing)
823
00:39:07,596 --> 00:39:08,889
Yep.
824
00:39:08,972 --> 00:39:12,434
And it just grabbed everything
that I was feeling.
825
00:39:12,517 --> 00:39:16,188
And I just, like-- I-I may have
started writing it on the spot.
826
00:39:16,271 --> 00:39:18,273
♪ ♪
827
00:39:21,777 --> 00:39:24,988
That record was
the beginning of it all.
828
00:39:25,072 --> 00:39:29,409
It was the beginning of me
spilling myself into this album.
829
00:39:29,493 --> 00:39:31,411
We used to hear that,
like, all day.
830
00:39:31,495 --> 00:39:34,247
Like, that’s what she was-- that
was her first, like, first song,
831
00:39:34,331 --> 00:39:36,333
so we’d hear that beat
playing all day
832
00:39:36,416 --> 00:39:38,710
and just be in the house,
n-nothing else playing.
833
00:39:38,794 --> 00:39:40,212
You know, she’d just be writing,
834
00:39:40,295 --> 00:39:42,255
you know, balling up papers,
writing.
835
00:39:42,339 --> 00:39:44,549
I remember when
we made that record.
836
00:39:44,633 --> 00:39:49,346
It was one of the most
unsecured times of our lives.
837
00:39:49,429 --> 00:39:52,265
I was going through
breaking up with Misa.
838
00:39:52,349 --> 00:39:56,061
You know, Mary was going through
a lot of things with K-Ci.
839
00:39:56,144 --> 00:39:59,397
And we was in this studio
in New York
840
00:39:59,481 --> 00:40:04,152
that you could actually see
outside, and it was raining.
841
00:40:04,236 --> 00:40:09,366
♪ I wanna be with you ♪
842
00:40:09,449 --> 00:40:11,535
♪ Does he care for you... ♪
843
00:40:11,618 --> 00:40:13,495
And it was one of those days
where you’re walking around
844
00:40:13,578 --> 00:40:16,331
with the tears
balled up in your eyes.
845
00:40:16,414 --> 00:40:19,209
Like, we was kids
that was just heartbroken.
846
00:40:19,292 --> 00:40:20,418
You know what I’m saying?
847
00:40:20,502 --> 00:40:22,462
Like-like, really, like, like--
848
00:40:22,546 --> 00:40:24,339
Misa was my heart.
849
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:26,675
K-Ci was her heart.
850
00:40:26,758 --> 00:40:29,970
And me and her in the studio
looking at each other, crying.
851
00:40:30,053 --> 00:40:34,850
♪ Does he even care... ♪
852
00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:37,352
We’d made a connection
through pain,
853
00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:39,104
and we was like,
from that point on, we was like,
854
00:40:39,187 --> 00:40:42,190
"Fuck that."
Like, "We gonna bring the pain."
855
00:40:42,274 --> 00:40:46,278
♪ I can’t deal with
the fact that ♪
856
00:40:46,361 --> 00:40:50,490
♪ You don’t want me around ♪
857
00:40:50,574 --> 00:40:54,494
♪ Why you wanna see me down... ♪
858
00:40:54,578 --> 00:40:58,081
MARY: So the whole album,
the whole My Life album is,
859
00:40:58,165 --> 00:41:00,167
"Please, love me.
860
00:41:00,250 --> 00:41:01,585
"Don’t go.
861
00:41:01,668 --> 00:41:03,253
I need you."
862
00:41:03,336 --> 00:41:05,547
It was a, it was a cry for help.
863
00:41:05,630 --> 00:41:08,842
♪ I spent all my days ♪
864
00:41:08,925 --> 00:41:12,596
♪ And all my nights with you ♪
865
00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:19,186
♪ Just tell me what am I
gonna do without you... ♪
866
00:41:19,269 --> 00:41:21,062
"Got to believe
that I won’t hurt you."
867
00:41:21,146 --> 00:41:23,940
You know, "I never want
to live without you. Don’t go."
868
00:41:24,024 --> 00:41:27,485
You know, she was
going through those things.
869
00:41:27,569 --> 00:41:29,654
So we’re gonna write about it.
870
00:41:29,738 --> 00:41:31,114
And we’re gonna bring that out.
871
00:41:31,198 --> 00:41:33,575
(laughing)
872
00:41:33,658 --> 00:41:35,285
(Mary laughs)
873
00:41:35,368 --> 00:41:37,370
Bub. (laughing)
874
00:41:38,997 --> 00:41:41,082
(muffled):
Okay, baby.
875
00:41:41,166 --> 00:41:42,667
I love you, Mary.
876
00:41:42,751 --> 00:41:45,921
How you doing? (laughs)
877
00:41:46,004 --> 00:41:48,423
-Good to see you, man.
-Good to see you, baby.
878
00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:51,134
MARY: Being in the studio
with you and doing those songs,
879
00:41:51,218 --> 00:41:52,719
it was healing,
it was what I needed.
880
00:41:52,802 --> 00:41:55,430
And "Never Wanna Live" was
just-- it makes me cry now.
881
00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:57,807
-"Don’t Go" makes me cry now.
-Don’t start crying.
882
00:41:57,891 --> 00:41:59,267
-Nah, I’m not, I’m not.
-Don’t-don’t start.
883
00:41:59,351 --> 00:42:01,186
-I’m-a try not to cry.
-’Cause-’cause I’m telling you,
884
00:42:01,269 --> 00:42:03,063
my tears--
I’m holding back my tears
885
00:42:03,146 --> 00:42:05,690
’cause we cried at the booth.
886
00:42:05,774 --> 00:42:07,400
I know. I remember that.
887
00:42:07,484 --> 00:42:08,985
I’ll never forget.
Like this, look.
888
00:42:09,069 --> 00:42:10,987
-And I remember. I-I...
-We was like, we was like this.
889
00:42:11,071 --> 00:42:13,823
-I remember that.
-I was like, "Mary, it’s good."
890
00:42:13,907 --> 00:42:15,367
I said, "We good."
891
00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:17,369
But the song was so powerful.
892
00:42:17,452 --> 00:42:19,496
-Yeah.
-Tears coming out our eyes,
893
00:42:19,579 --> 00:42:21,790
and all I can see,
you, like, nodding like...
894
00:42:22,791 --> 00:42:24,668
And I remember
the pain in my stomach.
895
00:42:24,751 --> 00:42:27,379
Like, it was, it was like pain
and joy all at the same time.
896
00:42:27,462 --> 00:42:28,630
-Mm.
-I can’t describe it.
897
00:42:28,713 --> 00:42:29,923
I know I sound like
a crazy person.
898
00:42:30,006 --> 00:42:31,591
-No, you do not.
-But these are the things
899
00:42:31,675 --> 00:42:33,051
that I was feeling.
900
00:42:33,134 --> 00:42:35,428
Just from the beginning
when it started.
901
00:42:35,512 --> 00:42:37,639
-♪ Can’t live with ♪ -("I Never
Wanna Live Without You" playing)
902
00:42:37,722 --> 00:42:40,141
-It was like...
-(humming)
903
00:42:40,225 --> 00:42:41,768
♪ Can’t live without you, baby ♪
904
00:42:41,851 --> 00:42:44,145
♪ Live without you, baby... ♪
905
00:42:44,229 --> 00:42:45,772
BIG BUB:
She went to the core.
906
00:42:45,855 --> 00:42:48,858
It was cut-and-dry.
907
00:42:48,942 --> 00:42:51,987
It wasn’t no watering--
Let’s not water nothing down.
908
00:42:52,070 --> 00:42:55,615
Whatever you feeling,
that’s what is going down.
909
00:42:55,699 --> 00:43:01,329
(over speakers):
♪ Love is so amazing ♪
910
00:43:01,413 --> 00:43:05,250
♪ I have a man that I want ♪
911
00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:06,626
(laughing)
912
00:43:06,710 --> 00:43:08,461
♪ I prayed so many nights
for you ♪
913
00:43:08,545 --> 00:43:10,130
Come on, you heard.
914
00:43:10,213 --> 00:43:13,591
♪ And then my prayers
came true of you ♪
915
00:43:13,675 --> 00:43:15,593
(Big Bub vocalizing)
916
00:43:15,677 --> 00:43:19,264
♪ Now that I have the answer ♪
917
00:43:20,515 --> 00:43:24,394
♪ I’ll be wishing on a star ♪
918
00:43:24,477 --> 00:43:27,272
♪ I’ll follow you
where you are ♪
919
00:43:27,355 --> 00:43:30,275
Oh! Oh!
920
00:43:30,358 --> 00:43:32,944
♪ I don’t wanna be alone ♪
921
00:43:34,154 --> 00:43:37,240
♪ So, baby,
let’s stay together ♪
922
00:43:37,324 --> 00:43:38,867
♪ Stay together ♪
923
00:43:38,950 --> 00:43:42,203
♪ Through any kind
of weather, yeah ♪
924
00:43:42,287 --> 00:43:43,788
-Oh, shit.
-Mm-hmm.
925
00:43:43,872 --> 00:43:45,415
♪ Let’s make a happy... ♪
926
00:43:45,498 --> 00:43:47,292
Yes, I was begging!
927
00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:48,585
Yeah, you were
for real with yours.
928
00:43:48,668 --> 00:43:52,005
♪ Because you mean
so much to me, baby ♪
929
00:43:52,088 --> 00:43:56,718
♪ That’s why
I wanna be your lady ♪
930
00:43:56,801 --> 00:43:58,803
(Big Bub whoops)
931
00:43:58,887 --> 00:44:00,764
Oh, I said my...
932
00:44:00,847 --> 00:44:02,432
Yo, that record there, man.
933
00:44:02,515 --> 00:44:03,850
That shit fucked me up.
934
00:44:03,933 --> 00:44:05,894
-And then "Don’t Go."
-(song ends)
935
00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:08,229
I didn’t know
it was gonna do anything.
936
00:44:08,313 --> 00:44:10,065
I-I thought
I would be dead probably.
937
00:44:11,691 --> 00:44:14,110
I was in a dark place myself.
938
00:44:14,194 --> 00:44:17,197
I’m drinking more than ever.
You know what I’m saying?
939
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:18,448
I got money.
940
00:44:18,531 --> 00:44:21,576
I’m young with money,
traveling the world.
941
00:44:21,659 --> 00:44:24,496
And I was in a place
where I was unhappy.
942
00:44:25,497 --> 00:44:28,416
So it made sense, like...
943
00:44:28,500 --> 00:44:30,335
"A’ight, come on,
let’s get this out."
944
00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:33,880
You know what I’m saying?
I’m-I’m torn apart, too.
945
00:44:33,963 --> 00:44:38,885
The only thing, I think, that
kept us guided was the music,
946
00:44:38,968 --> 00:44:41,638
-because the music is the thing
that felt good... -That’s right.
947
00:44:41,721 --> 00:44:43,598
-...whether you was too high
or too low. -Mm-hmm.
948
00:44:43,681 --> 00:44:46,935
It just saved you,
because it was all bitter then.
949
00:44:47,018 --> 00:44:48,770
It was-- everything was
bitter, bitter, bitter.
950
00:44:48,853 --> 00:44:50,605
Oh, we was... we were dark.
951
00:44:50,688 --> 00:44:52,107
It was very dark.
952
00:44:54,109 --> 00:44:55,902
LISATH:
When I first met Mary,
953
00:44:55,985 --> 00:44:58,196
we were both going through
the same thing
954
00:44:58,279 --> 00:45:00,407
at the same time with brothers.
955
00:45:00,490 --> 00:45:02,200
♪ ♪
956
00:45:02,283 --> 00:45:05,787
They promised us
love and happiness forever,
957
00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:07,956
and we’re gonna move away
and have kids
958
00:45:08,039 --> 00:45:10,917
and have a family
and... perfect.
959
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,129
And it wasn’t perfect.
960
00:45:14,212 --> 00:45:16,047
I have to ask this
really quickly.
961
00:45:16,131 --> 00:45:18,425
Uh, Jodeci were on the show,
uh, earlier on in the series,
962
00:45:18,508 --> 00:45:20,176
and, uh, Terry asked K-Ci
this question.
963
00:45:20,260 --> 00:45:22,095
Have a look at this.
964
00:45:22,178 --> 00:45:23,805
Now, you’re gonna break a few
hearts because I-I’ve heard
965
00:45:23,888 --> 00:45:25,348
that y-you’re gonna marry
Mary J. Blige, are you?
966
00:45:25,432 --> 00:45:27,225
Nah, nah, man.
967
00:45:27,308 --> 00:45:29,394
(crowd exclaiming)
968
00:45:29,477 --> 00:45:31,354
Nah, that’s-that’s...
that’s a rumor.
969
00:45:31,438 --> 00:45:32,605
You know what I’m saying?
970
00:45:32,689 --> 00:45:34,274
That’s a rumor for
the States, too, you know.
971
00:45:34,357 --> 00:45:36,443
K-Ci is not getting married,
for the record.
972
00:45:36,526 --> 00:45:38,820
(crowd exclaiming,
women screaming)
973
00:45:38,903 --> 00:45:41,072
So there’s
no huge engagement ring?
974
00:45:41,156 --> 00:45:42,449
Oh, there-- yeah, whatever.
975
00:45:42,532 --> 00:45:43,783
-Whatever.
-Let’s move on please.
976
00:45:43,867 --> 00:45:45,827
-Okay, but now...
-I’m disgusted.
977
00:45:45,910 --> 00:45:47,454
LaTONYA: When stuff happened,
I’d be like,
978
00:45:47,537 --> 00:45:49,914
"You need to throw--
kick him to the curb
979
00:45:49,998 --> 00:45:51,624
and go find somebody else."
980
00:45:51,708 --> 00:45:54,210
I surely was that sister
saying that and everything.
981
00:45:54,294 --> 00:45:56,045
And I was like,
"You’re better than that
982
00:45:56,129 --> 00:45:57,380
and you’re bigger than that."
983
00:45:57,464 --> 00:45:59,340
I-- Sorry, I’m not nice.
984
00:46:00,675 --> 00:46:03,887
I’m-I’m not the nice sister
at all and everything.
985
00:46:03,970 --> 00:46:06,556
I surely was that sister like,
"You know what?
986
00:46:06,639 --> 00:46:08,683
"You don’t need nobody treating
you like this and everything.
987
00:46:08,766 --> 00:46:10,059
Now, you can do better."
988
00:46:10,143 --> 00:46:11,936
But it’s--
when-when you’re in love,
989
00:46:12,020 --> 00:46:13,480
you can’t hear that.
990
00:46:13,563 --> 00:46:14,856
You can’t hear any of that.
991
00:46:14,939 --> 00:46:17,066
She just wanted somebody
to love her, you know?
992
00:46:17,150 --> 00:46:20,737
That time, it was just
such a sad time, you know?
993
00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:25,158
Um, and it was just
back-to-back situations.
994
00:46:25,241 --> 00:46:27,952
Like, it just--
At one point, he came over,
995
00:46:28,036 --> 00:46:30,163
and he was filled with rage.
996
00:46:30,246 --> 00:46:31,372
He was upset.
997
00:46:31,456 --> 00:46:33,458
We don’t know why he was upset.
998
00:46:33,541 --> 00:46:36,669
And he started
to physically attack her.
999
00:46:36,753 --> 00:46:40,298
I’ve had to physically fight
for my life a lot,
1000
00:46:40,381 --> 00:46:43,551
because just like my mom,
I’m a fighter.
1001
00:46:43,635 --> 00:46:47,847
My mom had to suffer
a lot of physical abuse as well,
1002
00:46:47,931 --> 00:46:50,517
so as a little girl, I saw her--
1003
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:52,894
this little woman-- fighting.
1004
00:46:53,895 --> 00:46:55,855
So... when it all
1005
00:46:55,939 --> 00:47:00,026
started to happen to me, all
I could think about was my mom.
1006
00:47:00,109 --> 00:47:01,986
-(crowd cheering)
-(band playing "I’m Goin’ Down")
1007
00:47:02,070 --> 00:47:04,072
♪ Time on my hands ♪
1008
00:47:05,281 --> 00:47:07,659
♪ Since you’ve been away, boy ♪
1009
00:47:08,826 --> 00:47:10,912
CROWD:
♪ I ain’t got no plans... ♪
1010
00:47:10,995 --> 00:47:12,997
It’s not simple
or black-and-white
1011
00:47:13,081 --> 00:47:16,834
to just walk out the door when
you’re just beyond insecure,
1012
00:47:16,918 --> 00:47:19,546
because you think that...
1013
00:47:19,629 --> 00:47:22,048
this is the best
that you can get.
1014
00:47:22,131 --> 00:47:24,384
And now whatever you think
is love,
1015
00:47:24,467 --> 00:47:27,720
which is silly infatuation,
1016
00:47:27,804 --> 00:47:29,973
is all you have to hold on to.
1017
00:47:30,056 --> 00:47:33,518
And no matter what bad happens,
1018
00:47:33,601 --> 00:47:35,228
you don’t want
to let this person go
1019
00:47:35,311 --> 00:47:38,731
because you feel like
he validates you
1020
00:47:38,815 --> 00:47:40,525
or he makes you feel...
1021
00:47:42,277 --> 00:47:45,446
...like, I guess, he loves you,
but-but he--
1022
00:47:45,530 --> 00:47:47,031
It’s-it’s the craziest thing.
1023
00:47:47,115 --> 00:47:51,494
I-I will never understand
why we stay so long.
1024
00:47:51,578 --> 00:47:53,246
And I guess it’s be--
and the insecurity
1025
00:47:53,329 --> 00:47:56,583
just makes you think,
"This is it."
1026
00:47:56,666 --> 00:47:59,752
CROWD:
♪ I’m going down ♪
1027
00:48:00,795 --> 00:48:03,423
♪ I’m going down ♪
1028
00:48:03,506 --> 00:48:07,677
♪ ’Cause you ain’t around,
baby ♪
1029
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:13,600
♪ My whole world’s upside down ♪
1030
00:48:13,683 --> 00:48:16,644
♪ My whole world’s
upside down ♪
1031
00:48:16,728 --> 00:48:18,771
♪ I don’t know what to do
with myself ♪
1032
00:48:18,855 --> 00:48:20,773
♪ I got too much time ♪
1033
00:48:20,857 --> 00:48:23,109
♪ Too much time on my hand,
y’all, yeah ♪
1034
00:48:23,192 --> 00:48:25,862
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1035
00:48:25,945 --> 00:48:28,156
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1036
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:31,284
♪ Now, now I don’t know
what I’d do ♪
1037
00:48:31,367 --> 00:48:35,538
♪ If I ever lose you ♪
1038
00:48:35,622 --> 00:48:39,292
♪ I’ll be going down ♪
1039
00:48:39,375 --> 00:48:41,961
♪ Yeah, I said
I’ll be going down ♪
1040
00:48:42,045 --> 00:48:44,088
♪ Down, down, down, down ♪
1041
00:48:44,172 --> 00:48:48,009
♪ Oh, no, don’t go, don’t go ♪
1042
00:48:48,092 --> 00:48:51,304
♪ Please forgive me, baby ♪
1043
00:48:51,387 --> 00:48:55,767
♪ But I’m not sorry,
I’m not sorry, I’m not sorry ♪
1044
00:48:55,850 --> 00:48:59,062
♪ I’m not, I’m not,
I’m not, I’m not, I’m not ♪
1045
00:48:59,145 --> 00:49:00,897
-♪ I’m not, I’m not, I’m not ♪
-(crowd cheering)
1046
00:49:00,980 --> 00:49:04,525
♪ I’m not sorry. ♪
1047
00:49:04,609 --> 00:49:06,611
(band playing flourish)
1048
00:49:10,531 --> 00:49:12,158
(music and cheering fades)
1049
00:49:12,241 --> 00:49:14,911
The only thing
that’s gonna fix your life
1050
00:49:14,994 --> 00:49:16,996
is you learning
how to love yourself.
1051
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:19,374
And there was no love.
There was no self-love.
1052
00:49:19,457 --> 00:49:21,459
♪ ♪
1053
00:49:23,169 --> 00:49:27,590
It was just a dark--
one big giant hole of darkness,
1054
00:49:27,674 --> 00:49:31,177
and that depression
from that relationship
1055
00:49:31,260 --> 00:49:34,972
rewinded life and brought back
a whole bunch of other stuff
1056
00:49:35,056 --> 00:49:38,267
that I never dealt with
from things that happened to me
1057
00:49:38,351 --> 00:49:41,312
as a child, a little girl.
1058
00:49:41,396 --> 00:49:45,733
So it was a snowball, like,
effect, like a-a avalanche,
1059
00:49:45,817 --> 00:49:48,486
like a big snowball
picking up things,
1060
00:49:48,569 --> 00:49:51,197
you know,
rolling right into my life,
1061
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:55,618
and it landed me in, like,
a really dark, depressed place.
1062
00:49:59,997 --> 00:50:02,834
I-I was just trying
to drink my life away,
1063
00:50:02,917 --> 00:50:05,253
take drugs till I die,
whatever it was.
1064
00:50:06,879 --> 00:50:08,631
Most of the times,
I was just depressed
1065
00:50:08,715 --> 00:50:10,550
and didn’t want to live.
1066
00:50:12,593 --> 00:50:14,387
I stayed away from my mother
1067
00:50:14,470 --> 00:50:16,222
because I didn’t want her
to see me like that.
1068
00:50:16,305 --> 00:50:17,640
I didn’t want my sister--
1069
00:50:17,724 --> 00:50:19,100
I didn’t want anybody
to see me like that,
1070
00:50:19,183 --> 00:50:24,272
’cause I was falling
completely off the planet.
1071
00:50:29,318 --> 00:50:32,071
That feeling of
you’re screaming,
1072
00:50:32,155 --> 00:50:36,284
but everybody around you is
like, "Oh, you know, it’s okay,"
1073
00:50:36,367 --> 00:50:38,911
because you can’t really
tell everybody what’s going on.
1074
00:50:38,995 --> 00:50:41,497
And you’re screaming
and nothing’s coming out.
1075
00:50:41,581 --> 00:50:44,584
("My Life" playing,
Mary vocalizing)
1076
00:50:48,212 --> 00:50:50,506
That was all just inspired
from her when she started
1077
00:50:50,590 --> 00:50:53,134
picking up the pen and the pad
and started writing
1078
00:50:53,217 --> 00:50:55,386
what was in her heart.
1079
00:50:55,470 --> 00:50:57,680
Um...
1080
00:50:57,764 --> 00:51:00,516
She-- I mean, I mean,
she was fighting for her heart.
1081
00:51:01,851 --> 00:51:04,520
When she made that album,
she was fighting for her heart.
1082
00:51:04,604 --> 00:51:07,857
(Mary vocalizing)
1083
00:51:07,940 --> 00:51:09,275
♪ My life, my life... ♪
1084
00:51:09,358 --> 00:51:11,068
MARY:
My life is not in the sunshine.
1085
00:51:11,152 --> 00:51:13,321
My life is hell.
1086
00:51:13,404 --> 00:51:17,158
My life is me not being able to
get things out of my head from--
1087
00:51:17,241 --> 00:51:19,243
that happened to me,
not-not being able
1088
00:51:19,327 --> 00:51:21,496
to get being molested
out of my head.
1089
00:51:22,830 --> 00:51:25,500
From a childhood,
from being five years old.
1090
00:51:25,583 --> 00:51:27,835
Other things that happened
that I will not discuss.
1091
00:51:27,919 --> 00:51:29,712
Just so many things happening
to a little girl.
1092
00:51:29,796 --> 00:51:30,963
♪ In the sunshine ♪
1093
00:51:31,047 --> 00:51:32,507
♪ Life can be ♪
1094
00:51:32,590 --> 00:51:37,303
♪ Only what you make it ♪
1095
00:51:37,386 --> 00:51:39,639
♪ When you’re feeling down ♪
1096
00:51:39,722 --> 00:51:42,058
♪ You should never fake it... ♪
1097
00:51:42,141 --> 00:51:44,519
But that’s why I had that pen.
1098
00:51:44,602 --> 00:51:46,771
And that’s why I had,
I had it all inside,
1099
00:51:46,854 --> 00:51:51,526
and I was able to put it on,
you know... to sing it.
1100
00:51:51,609 --> 00:51:53,611
I was able to sing it
and write it.
1101
00:51:54,695 --> 00:51:57,782
♪ It will all decease... ♪
1102
00:51:57,865 --> 00:51:59,450
It was the only way to survive.
1103
00:51:59,534 --> 00:52:02,662
It was the only way to...
1104
00:52:02,745 --> 00:52:04,914
get through
what I was getting through.
1105
00:52:06,165 --> 00:52:07,625
(Mary vocalizing)
1106
00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:09,710
(over speakers):
♪ If you looked at my life ♪
1107
00:52:09,794 --> 00:52:11,712
♪ And see what I see ♪
1108
00:52:11,796 --> 00:52:14,006
♪ All you got to do is ♪
1109
00:52:14,090 --> 00:52:16,008
♪ If you looked at my life... ♪
1110
00:52:16,092 --> 00:52:18,511
♪ Take your time,
one day at a time ♪
1111
00:52:18,594 --> 00:52:20,805
♪ It’s all on you,
what you gonna do... ♪
1112
00:52:20,888 --> 00:52:22,890
(shouts) Stop, stop! Stop.
1113
00:52:22,974 --> 00:52:24,267
-♪ And see what I see... ♪
-(music stops)
1114
00:52:24,350 --> 00:52:26,102
That shit is scaring the shit
out of me right now.
1115
00:52:26,185 --> 00:52:27,687
-(Thompson chuckles)
-That shit’s just
1116
00:52:27,770 --> 00:52:29,397
-fucking scaring the shit
out of me. -Yo, man.
1117
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:33,693
It’s like... "Take your time,
one day at a time.
1118
00:52:33,776 --> 00:52:36,612
-It’s all on you.
What you gonna do?" -Yeah. Mm.
1119
00:52:36,696 --> 00:52:38,823
♪ My ladies, check me out ♪
1120
00:52:38,906 --> 00:52:40,741
(band playing "My Life")
1121
00:52:40,825 --> 00:52:43,953
♪ I got something I want
y’all to hear, see, you see ♪
1122
00:52:44,036 --> 00:52:47,123
♪ It gets so lonely sometimes ♪
1123
00:52:47,206 --> 00:52:49,500
♪ But that’s my choice ♪
1124
00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:51,794
♪ I’d rather be by myself ♪
1125
00:52:51,878 --> 00:52:53,462
(crowd cheering)
1126
00:52:53,546 --> 00:52:55,882
♪ Than to be going through
some more hell ♪
1127
00:52:55,965 --> 00:52:59,260
♪ I’d rather go through
the fire, y’all ♪
1128
00:52:59,343 --> 00:53:01,721
♪ Than to live in denial... ♪
1129
00:53:01,804 --> 00:53:06,100
That’s me thinking those lyrics
before I check out,
1130
00:53:06,183 --> 00:53:07,977
because I-- you know,
those were those times
1131
00:53:08,060 --> 00:53:09,562
when I felt like that.
1132
00:53:09,645 --> 00:53:12,690
♪ I’m talking ’bout
getting it together ♪
1133
00:53:12,773 --> 00:53:13,941
♪ Yeah, oh... ♪
1134
00:53:14,025 --> 00:53:17,862
I was writing
just to-to-to get free
1135
00:53:17,945 --> 00:53:20,406
so I can move around
and I wasn’t in so much bondage
1136
00:53:20,489 --> 00:53:22,950
and I wasn’t in--
and I won’t be stuck.
1137
00:53:23,034 --> 00:53:25,369
And I was literally writing
for my life.
1138
00:53:25,453 --> 00:53:27,121
♪ Let it burn, let it burn ♪
1139
00:53:27,204 --> 00:53:28,915
-♪ Let it burn, let it burn ♪
-(crowd cheering)
1140
00:53:28,998 --> 00:53:31,500
♪ Let it burn,
let it burn, let it burn ♪
1141
00:53:31,584 --> 00:53:32,960
♪ Let it burn, let it burn... ♪
1142
00:53:33,044 --> 00:53:35,087
No matter how bad it hurts
dealing with the truth,
1143
00:53:35,171 --> 00:53:38,299
whatever the truth is,
that’s how you get to the core.
1144
00:53:38,382 --> 00:53:40,134
You got to feel it to heal.
1145
00:53:40,217 --> 00:53:41,761
-(scatting)
-♪ If you looked at my life ♪
1146
00:53:41,844 --> 00:53:43,721
♪ And see what I see ♪
1147
00:53:43,804 --> 00:53:46,682
♪ I... I had to let it burn,
y’all ♪
1148
00:53:46,766 --> 00:53:49,560
♪ Let it burn, y’all,
let it burn ♪
1149
00:53:49,644 --> 00:53:54,690
♪ Burn, burn, burn, burn, burn,
burn, burn, burn, burn ♪
1150
00:53:54,774 --> 00:53:57,485
♪ Burn! ♪
1151
00:53:58,694 --> 00:54:03,783
♪ My life is
just like your life ♪
1152
00:54:03,866 --> 00:54:05,534
♪ Oh ♪
1153
00:54:05,618 --> 00:54:08,621
♪ All the time ♪
1154
00:54:08,704 --> 00:54:10,873
♪ If you looked at my life
and see what I see ♪
1155
00:54:10,957 --> 00:54:12,708
♪ See, I had to let it burn ♪
1156
00:54:12,792 --> 00:54:14,919
♪ I had to let it burn ♪
1157
00:54:15,002 --> 00:54:16,921
♪ Sometimes you got
to let it burn ♪
1158
00:54:17,004 --> 00:54:18,255
♪ Sometimes you got to let it ♪
1159
00:54:18,339 --> 00:54:19,966
-♪ I had to let it burn ♪
-(music ends)
1160
00:54:20,049 --> 00:54:21,634
♪ All the way down
to the ground ♪
1161
00:54:21,717 --> 00:54:23,386
♪ And start over new. ♪
1162
00:54:23,469 --> 00:54:26,222
(crowd cheering)
1163
00:54:32,812 --> 00:54:34,814
♪ ♪
1164
00:54:38,192 --> 00:54:41,237
I just wanted you to know that,
in case you ever thought
1165
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:44,532
that what you was doing
is not saving somebody...
1166
00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:48,411
-Wow. -...that you need to know
that you saved my life.
1167
00:54:48,494 --> 00:54:51,622
-Wow.
-I tried to jump and I couldn’t,
1168
00:54:51,706 --> 00:54:54,375
’cause I heard your voice that
you can’t hold a good woman down
1169
00:54:54,458 --> 00:54:55,876
and I thank you.
1170
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,295
-And I love you.
-Come on.
1171
00:55:00,631 --> 00:55:01,841
(camera clicks)
1172
00:55:03,009 --> 00:55:04,677
-Thank you so much.
-Stay strong.
1173
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:06,345
-I am, and I’m gonna follow...
-And you look beautiful.
1174
00:55:06,429 --> 00:55:07,430
Thank you so much.
1175
00:55:07,513 --> 00:55:08,723
-You’re welcome.
-God bless you.
1176
00:55:08,806 --> 00:55:11,267
HYLTON: Mary went
to those deep dark places
1177
00:55:11,350 --> 00:55:13,769
that we-- a lot of times,
we don’t want to admit
1178
00:55:13,853 --> 00:55:16,480
that we feel this way, and
we don’t want to even go there.
1179
00:55:16,564 --> 00:55:20,443
It’s just too scary,
uh, to be, uh,
1180
00:55:20,526 --> 00:55:22,820
that raw and to
1181
00:55:22,903 --> 00:55:25,823
let the world know, like,
"I’m hurting. I’m confused.
1182
00:55:25,906 --> 00:55:28,451
"I don’t know what to do.
I’m so sad.
1183
00:55:28,534 --> 00:55:29,869
I feel lonely."
1184
00:55:31,996 --> 00:55:34,582
-I think growing up in general
is just rough. -MAN: Mm.
1185
00:55:34,665 --> 00:55:37,001
It’s really rough,
and just trying to, like,
1186
00:55:37,084 --> 00:55:39,128
find out who you are
and then having people
1187
00:55:39,211 --> 00:55:40,755
tell you who you are
at the same time
1188
00:55:40,838 --> 00:55:42,673
-is just really frustrating.
-WOMAN: Mm-hmm.
1189
00:55:42,757 --> 00:55:45,301
So, um...
1190
00:55:45,384 --> 00:55:49,138
My Life was kind of just like,
yo, like, somebody, like,
1191
00:55:49,221 --> 00:55:51,640
somebody out there is
feeling that exact same way.
1192
00:55:51,724 --> 00:55:53,726
Because, like, whenever you’re
going through something, like,
1193
00:55:53,809 --> 00:55:55,728
automatically
you-you feel alone,
1194
00:55:55,811 --> 00:55:57,480
you feel like no one gets it,
you feel like no one
1195
00:55:57,563 --> 00:56:00,107
in the world can ever
go through that experience,
1196
00:56:00,191 --> 00:56:03,861
and then it’s like Mary-Mary,
she’s right here.
1197
00:56:03,944 --> 00:56:06,280
She’s telling me, like,
"Hey, you’re not by yourself.
1198
00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:07,615
You can get through this."
1199
00:56:07,698 --> 00:56:10,868
So, My Life, like, for me,
just felt like
1200
00:56:10,951 --> 00:56:13,746
it was just an anthem
to be strong and to just keep
1201
00:56:13,829 --> 00:56:16,373
pushing through, like, whatever
it is that you’re going through.
1202
00:56:16,457 --> 00:56:18,209
(others murmur quietly)
1203
00:56:18,292 --> 00:56:19,794
WOMAN: You know,
I was always one of these people
1204
00:56:19,877 --> 00:56:23,255
that could not tell the truth,
1205
00:56:23,339 --> 00:56:26,258
especially if it was painful
1206
00:56:26,342 --> 00:56:31,597
or I had to put on this façade
that I was this strong woman,
1207
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:34,809
and inside I was
just, like, breaking up,
1208
00:56:34,892 --> 00:56:37,603
like this big hole
was inside of me.
1209
00:56:37,686 --> 00:56:42,399
And I was like, "Damn, when-when
is this ever going to change?"
1210
00:56:42,483 --> 00:56:47,321
And that part when she said,
"You don’t have to fake it,"
1211
00:56:47,404 --> 00:56:50,282
I was like, "Oh, you don’t?"
1212
00:56:50,366 --> 00:56:53,619
Like, you really
could be authentic.
1213
00:56:53,702 --> 00:56:54,995
MAN:
Mm.
1214
00:56:55,079 --> 00:56:57,123
-I love her so much.
-WOMAN: Me, too.
1215
00:56:57,206 --> 00:57:00,459
MAN:
When I was, like, 13, 14,
1216
00:57:00,543 --> 00:57:03,963
those songs like "My Life,"
you know, held me together.
1217
00:57:04,046 --> 00:57:05,798
-WOMAN: Yes.
-And...
1218
00:57:05,881 --> 00:57:08,008
I was going through a lot,
you know.
1219
00:57:08,092 --> 00:57:10,136
Like, why would a kid
be going through a lot?
1220
00:57:10,219 --> 00:57:11,762
Well, I was going through
a lot of--
1221
00:57:11,846 --> 00:57:14,932
I went through a lot of trauma
growing up, a lot of abuse.
1222
00:57:15,015 --> 00:57:17,017
So...
1223
00:57:17,101 --> 00:57:18,894
it...
1224
00:57:18,978 --> 00:57:22,565
The-the song "My Life"
in particular made...
1225
00:57:22,648 --> 00:57:24,692
for the first time in my life,
made me feel like
1226
00:57:24,775 --> 00:57:26,569
I could relate to somebody.
1227
00:57:26,652 --> 00:57:28,737
And...
1228
00:57:28,821 --> 00:57:31,907
I also want to share that,
at one point in my life--
1229
00:57:31,991 --> 00:57:35,619
I think I was, like, 16--
I was about to commit suicide.
1230
00:57:35,703 --> 00:57:40,416
It was... I was being picked on
for being, you know, a big guy,
1231
00:57:40,499 --> 00:57:45,337
for being myself, and, you know,
being gay or whatnot,
1232
00:57:45,421 --> 00:57:47,923
and it was just all too much.
1233
00:57:48,007 --> 00:57:50,384
And...
1234
00:57:50,467 --> 00:57:54,263
it was that song, "My Life,"
that helped me
1235
00:57:54,346 --> 00:57:56,557
to not actually
go through with that.
1236
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:58,726
-MAN: That’s awesome.
-Yeah. -WOMAN: Beautiful.
1237
00:58:03,355 --> 00:58:05,566
MARY: I want the fans
to understand how important
1238
00:58:05,649 --> 00:58:07,359
they are to me,
1239
00:58:07,443 --> 00:58:09,695
’cause I didn’t think
I would even make it
1240
00:58:09,778 --> 00:58:12,239
to see this day
during that time.
1241
00:58:12,323 --> 00:58:14,241
I didn’t think I was gonna live.
1242
00:58:14,325 --> 00:58:16,035
♪ ♪
1243
00:58:16,118 --> 00:58:20,998
But something happened one day
when it was just too much.
1244
00:58:21,081 --> 00:58:24,752
I was sitting in my living room.
I had been up all night long.
1245
00:58:24,835 --> 00:58:28,297
And... it looked like
the window opening.
1246
00:58:28,380 --> 00:58:30,341
All these clouds came in.
1247
00:58:30,424 --> 00:58:32,843
I was just high out of my mind.
1248
00:58:34,470 --> 00:58:37,056
And my heart started racing,
and it was a Sunday morning.
1249
00:58:37,139 --> 00:58:39,225
I always feel strange
on a Sunday morning.
1250
00:58:39,308 --> 00:58:42,519
I always feel like God can see,
really see what I’m doing.
1251
00:58:42,603 --> 00:58:44,521
And I was like,
"I don’t want to do this.
1252
00:58:44,605 --> 00:58:46,607
I-I got to stop doing this."
1253
00:58:47,775 --> 00:58:49,568
Either you choose life
or you choose death,
1254
00:58:49,652 --> 00:58:53,489
and I chose life,
and it wasn’t even so much me
1255
00:58:53,572 --> 00:58:55,866
that was important to me,
it was my fans.
1256
00:58:55,950 --> 00:58:57,493
They bought the album.
1257
00:58:57,576 --> 00:58:59,245
They listened
to what I had to say.
1258
00:58:59,328 --> 00:59:01,497
They said, "Me, too, Mary,"
and that was it.
1259
00:59:01,580 --> 00:59:03,499
That was the beginning
of our relationship,
1260
00:59:03,582 --> 00:59:05,668
and I think
that’s what-what I needed.
1261
00:59:05,751 --> 00:59:09,463
I needed someone to understand.
1262
00:59:11,131 --> 00:59:13,133
’Cause it seemed like
no one ever did.
1263
00:59:15,761 --> 00:59:20,099
They help me to sustain
and want to live
1264
00:59:20,182 --> 00:59:22,810
and survive on my journey.
1265
00:59:22,893 --> 00:59:26,480
We did something really great
and really powerful,
1266
00:59:26,563 --> 00:59:30,776
uh, inspiring each other,
by inspiring...
1267
00:59:30,859 --> 00:59:34,530
each other to want to live
to see another day.
1268
00:59:35,990 --> 00:59:40,244
So I just want people to just...
know that they-they’re not--
1269
00:59:40,327 --> 00:59:42,496
when you think you’re alone,
you’re not alone.
1270
00:59:44,164 --> 00:59:47,626
We-we soldiers out here,
all of us.
1271
00:59:47,710 --> 00:59:50,754
We got a job to fight, and
we all in the fight together.
1272
00:59:52,172 --> 00:59:54,300
-(band playing "You Gotta
Believe") -Come on, y’all.
1273
00:59:54,383 --> 00:59:55,509
-♪ Never hurt you ♪
-(crowd cheering)
1274
00:59:55,592 --> 00:59:58,137
♪ I told you once before ♪
1275
00:59:58,220 --> 01:00:01,932
♪ That I love you
and I need you ♪
1276
01:00:02,016 --> 01:00:05,394
♪ But let me tell you
once again ♪
1277
01:00:05,477 --> 01:00:09,148
♪ You were my closest friend ♪
1278
01:00:09,231 --> 01:00:12,276
♪ I’ll never leave you ♪
1279
01:00:12,359 --> 01:00:15,863
♪ So hold me tight
all through the night ♪
1280
01:00:15,946 --> 01:00:19,325
♪ Caress me
with your tender care ♪
1281
01:00:19,408 --> 01:00:24,246
♪ Anytime or anywhere... ♪
1282
01:00:24,330 --> 01:00:26,332
TYLER PERRY:
Her gift and her singing
1283
01:00:26,415 --> 01:00:28,542
and the way she sings
and where it comes from,
1284
01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:30,085
her gut was born out of trauma.
1285
01:00:30,169 --> 01:00:31,837
-♪ In me, baby ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪
1286
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:33,297
♪ Stay with... ♪
1287
01:00:33,380 --> 01:00:35,549
It’s like having a balloon
where you’re filling it
1288
01:00:35,632 --> 01:00:37,843
with trauma and pain and just so
much, so much, so much, so much.
1289
01:00:37,926 --> 01:00:39,261
You got to let it out.
1290
01:00:39,345 --> 01:00:41,263
And you can put
a pin in it and...
1291
01:00:41,347 --> 01:00:42,973
and blow up the whole world--
1292
01:00:43,057 --> 01:00:46,393
which-which Mary will do
if you really piss her off.
1293
01:00:46,477 --> 01:00:49,188
She will burn up the damn house
with her "in it to get you"
1294
01:00:49,271 --> 01:00:51,607
if you go at her,
and I, and I know that.
1295
01:00:51,690 --> 01:00:54,318
But-but to have that moment
1296
01:00:54,401 --> 01:00:56,945
where you take the edge of the
balloon and you let the air out
1297
01:00:57,029 --> 01:00:59,990
a little bit at a time
so you don’t destroy everything,
1298
01:01:00,074 --> 01:01:01,367
it’s almost primal.
1299
01:01:01,450 --> 01:01:04,244
It’s almost
the little girl crying out.
1300
01:01:04,328 --> 01:01:05,829
But it’s such a beautiful thing
1301
01:01:05,913 --> 01:01:07,414
because there’s
so much healing in it.
1302
01:01:07,498 --> 01:01:10,417
♪ Please, baby, take my hand ♪
1303
01:01:10,501 --> 01:01:13,587
♪ I don’t need another man ♪
1304
01:01:13,670 --> 01:01:17,091
♪ But if you wanna
hold on tight ♪
1305
01:01:17,174 --> 01:01:20,010
♪ You cannot be afraid ♪
1306
01:01:20,094 --> 01:01:22,846
-♪ You gotta believe... ♪
-(song fades)
1307
01:01:22,930 --> 01:01:25,641
(woman speaking indistinctly
over TV)
1308
01:01:25,724 --> 01:01:27,851
MARY:
Oh!
1309
01:01:27,935 --> 01:01:29,770
(chuckles) Who is that?
1310
01:01:29,853 --> 01:01:31,188
-That’s my baby.
-Cute little Mary.
1311
01:01:31,271 --> 01:01:33,190
Look at my little girl.
1312
01:01:33,273 --> 01:01:35,234
Oh, my God.
1313
01:01:35,317 --> 01:01:37,444
WOMAN: ...just the title track,
"My Life," I thought that was...
1314
01:01:37,528 --> 01:01:40,572
I know. The picture’s all fat,
and I look like Skeletor.
1315
01:01:40,656 --> 01:01:41,865
-No, you don’t.
-(laughs)
1316
01:01:41,949 --> 01:01:43,367
You’re so cute.
1317
01:01:43,450 --> 01:01:44,952
WOMAN: ...just about
what you were going through.
1318
01:01:45,035 --> 01:01:46,954
You look like
you’re giving her that eye.
1319
01:01:47,037 --> 01:01:48,831
WOMAN: ...but again,
running to your emotion.
1320
01:01:48,914 --> 01:01:51,291
Well, I wrote it
when I was in...
1321
01:01:51,375 --> 01:01:53,460
I was living--
I first moved to Jersey.
1322
01:01:53,544 --> 01:01:56,755
Uh, that’s when I started
the second album in summer.
1323
01:01:56,839 --> 01:01:59,925
And I wrote it
through just watching...
1324
01:02:00,926 --> 01:02:02,636
...even as I was little,
1325
01:02:02,719 --> 01:02:06,390
watching people, couples
or whatever go through...
1326
01:02:06,473 --> 01:02:09,268
Looking at my face, I probably
didn’t like the interviewer.
1327
01:02:09,351 --> 01:02:13,522
-Mm-hmm. -And, um, I didn’t want
to give her everything.
1328
01:02:13,605 --> 01:02:17,401
I didn’t want to tell her
what I was really dealing with,
1329
01:02:17,484 --> 01:02:19,236
because it was
none of her fucking business.
1330
01:02:19,319 --> 01:02:21,864
-And I was really,
really mean then. -(laughs)
1331
01:02:21,947 --> 01:02:25,033
So if it was some energy
that I picked up that was wrong,
1332
01:02:25,117 --> 01:02:27,536
I was, I-I... I withheld.
1333
01:02:27,619 --> 01:02:30,414
I didn’t want her to know where
all the shit really came from.
1334
01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:32,416
It was, "It’s none of
your fucking business."
1335
01:02:32,499 --> 01:02:34,668
-You understand?
-WOMAN: Wait, is it-- like what?
1336
01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:36,920
-Going through what, though?
-Whatever.
1337
01:02:37,004 --> 01:02:38,255
You know what I’m saying?
1338
01:02:38,338 --> 01:02:40,132
Whatever it may be.
1339
01:02:40,215 --> 01:02:42,634
MARY: That’s my child and
that’s who I protect, you know?
1340
01:02:42,718 --> 01:02:44,261
That-that girl right there
1341
01:02:44,344 --> 01:02:47,681
and little five-year-old Mary
I protect today.
1342
01:02:47,764 --> 01:02:49,683
-You know what I’m saying?
-WOMAN: I do.
1343
01:02:49,766 --> 01:02:51,018
Never mind.
You don’t understand.
1344
01:02:51,101 --> 01:02:52,394
(laughter)
1345
01:02:52,478 --> 01:02:54,980
LaTONYA:
Yeah, you told her the deal.
1346
01:02:55,063 --> 01:02:57,191
But deal with it and not pry.
1347
01:02:57,274 --> 01:02:59,485
-Just leading now a little
too deep. -LISATH: Wow.
1348
01:02:59,568 --> 01:03:00,986
Wow.
1349
01:03:02,821 --> 01:03:06,825
I’ve always had a thing
where my intuition was strong,
1350
01:03:06,909 --> 01:03:11,163
and it would make me
go into a pr-protection mode.
1351
01:03:11,246 --> 01:03:15,042
And that’s what I’m doing there,
because I didn’t know I was me.
1352
01:03:16,418 --> 01:03:19,421
-Damn, that shit make me
want to cry. -Mm.
1353
01:03:19,505 --> 01:03:20,714
I didn’t know I was me.
1354
01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:23,717
I didn’t know I was
this Mary J. Blige
1355
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:25,385
that was gonna have
this much courage,
1356
01:03:25,469 --> 01:03:27,095
that was gonna do
all these things.
1357
01:03:27,179 --> 01:03:30,474
I didn’t know I was me,
so I guess that happens
1358
01:03:30,557 --> 01:03:32,851
when you grow up
in an environment
1359
01:03:32,935 --> 01:03:34,937
where little girls are not safe.
1360
01:03:36,271 --> 01:03:37,814
Little girls are not safe
and you...
1361
01:03:37,898 --> 01:03:40,025
-Yeah, it’s just instincts,
yeah. -Yeah.
1362
01:03:40,108 --> 01:03:42,611
And that’s why my gut is God.
1363
01:03:42,694 --> 01:03:44,571
♪ ♪
1364
01:03:44,655 --> 01:03:47,199
I didn’t know I was me.
1365
01:03:47,282 --> 01:03:50,661
But I was me. That’s why
I was able to do what I did.
1366
01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:53,622
I was always this person.
1367
01:03:53,705 --> 01:03:55,332
Just didn’t know it.
1368
01:03:57,543 --> 01:04:01,463
It’s about you sitting
and knowing that,
1369
01:04:01,547 --> 01:04:04,007
in your gut, there’s God.
1370
01:04:09,179 --> 01:04:11,306
God is love.
1371
01:04:11,390 --> 01:04:16,478
God is you making decisions
on what-what do you want to do,
1372
01:04:16,562 --> 01:04:18,897
what you want to be.
1373
01:04:18,981 --> 01:04:20,607
You know, I--
even if I’m afraid,
1374
01:04:20,691 --> 01:04:24,361
I got to keep moving afraid,
as long as I get out there.
1375
01:04:24,444 --> 01:04:27,948
And once you, you know,
pass the fear threshold,
1376
01:04:28,031 --> 01:04:30,742
it’s over, game over, you know?
1377
01:04:30,826 --> 01:04:32,452
You can do anything.
1378
01:04:34,830 --> 01:04:36,790
(band playing
"Mary Jane (All Night Long)")
1379
01:04:36,873 --> 01:04:38,792
(crowd cheering)
1380
01:04:38,875 --> 01:04:41,628
Happy 25th anniversary
1381
01:04:41,712 --> 01:04:43,922
to the My Life album!
1382
01:04:45,132 --> 01:04:46,216
Here we go.
1383
01:04:46,300 --> 01:04:49,720
♪ Ooh, baby ♪
1384
01:04:49,803 --> 01:04:52,180
♪ Not tonight ♪
1385
01:04:52,264 --> 01:04:54,474
♪ I don’t wanna fuss and fight ♪
1386
01:04:54,558 --> 01:04:58,437
♪ I just wanna make it right ♪
1387
01:04:58,520 --> 01:05:02,524
♪ Ooh, there’s work to do ♪
1388
01:05:02,608 --> 01:05:04,693
♪ I wanna get
real close to you ♪
1389
01:05:04,776 --> 01:05:08,155
-♪ I wanna get you in the ♪
-♪ Mood ♪
1390
01:05:08,238 --> 01:05:11,700
♪ All the things
you want to do ♪
1391
01:05:12,701 --> 01:05:15,704
♪ Just relax and ♪
1392
01:05:15,787 --> 01:05:18,165
CROWD:
♪ I’ll take care of you. ♪
1393
01:05:18,248 --> 01:05:20,125
(song fades)
1394
01:05:20,208 --> 01:05:21,752
XENOS:
I didn’t discover My Life
1395
01:05:21,835 --> 01:05:23,837
until I was about 16, 17,
1396
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:26,423
going through some of
the hardest times of my life.
1397
01:05:26,506 --> 01:05:28,133
I would digest the lyrics
and listen to it.
1398
01:05:28,216 --> 01:05:29,801
-I’m like, "My aunt wrote that."
-(others murmuring)
1399
01:05:29,885 --> 01:05:31,762
And I felt like, you know,
even though you wrote it
1400
01:05:31,845 --> 01:05:33,597
for the masses,
you wrote it for yourself,
1401
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,891
I felt like, every time
I listened to it, it’s for me.
1402
01:05:35,974 --> 01:05:38,769
Yeah, but Little Xe, I didn’t
write it for the masses.
1403
01:05:38,852 --> 01:05:41,772
I write it-- I wrote it
because I needed to write it.
1404
01:05:41,855 --> 01:05:44,524
-Right. -I-- That whole album
was a cry for help.
1405
01:05:44,608 --> 01:05:46,109
-Auntie needed help.
-LaTONYA: Mm.
1406
01:05:46,193 --> 01:05:49,446
So everything you feel is what
I was really, really feeling.
1407
01:05:49,529 --> 01:05:51,323
-XENOS SR.: Right. -You know,
I really wanted to be happy.
1408
01:05:51,406 --> 01:05:53,533
Everything I wanted to be, I was
like, "I want to be happy."
1409
01:05:53,617 --> 01:05:54,951
-LaTONYA: Mm-hmm.
-Or, "I want this man
1410
01:05:55,035 --> 01:05:56,495
-to like me a whole lot."
-(chuckles)
1411
01:05:56,578 --> 01:05:59,122
So I didn’t realize I wanted me
to like me a whole lot.
1412
01:05:59,206 --> 01:06:00,415
-Yeah. -Right.
-Wow.
1413
01:06:00,499 --> 01:06:02,918
What I realize
at this stage in my life,
1414
01:06:03,001 --> 01:06:06,380
it’s not for me
to go through these things
1415
01:06:06,463 --> 01:06:08,090
and come out bitter.
1416
01:06:08,173 --> 01:06:10,550
It’s to come out better
and forgiveness.
1417
01:06:10,634 --> 01:06:12,219
So the choices of now
1418
01:06:12,302 --> 01:06:14,179
is life can be only
what you make it, for real.
1419
01:06:14,262 --> 01:06:16,014
♪ ♪
1420
01:06:22,979 --> 01:06:24,648
There’s something about sadness
1421
01:06:24,731 --> 01:06:27,984
that makes you happy
when you’ve overcome,
1422
01:06:28,068 --> 01:06:30,654
and something about
the sadness in that album,
1423
01:06:30,737 --> 01:06:32,906
it’s very triumphant now.
1424
01:06:32,989 --> 01:06:35,158
Nice to meet you.
Thank you so much.
1425
01:06:35,242 --> 01:06:36,993
-Let’s make it happen.
-MARY: Oh, yeah.
1426
01:06:37,077 --> 01:06:39,955
(crowd singing, Mary joins in)
1427
01:06:40,038 --> 01:06:42,541
HENSON: To have the world
tell you you ain’t shit,
1428
01:06:42,624 --> 01:06:46,920
and then to rise up out of that
and-and prove that I matter,
1429
01:06:47,003 --> 01:06:48,964
that my story means something,
1430
01:06:49,047 --> 01:06:52,300
that my story is impactful.
1431
01:06:53,343 --> 01:06:55,345
And, no, I didn’t go to Harvard.
1432
01:06:56,471 --> 01:06:58,432
But I still have a story to tell
1433
01:06:58,515 --> 01:07:01,184
that’s gonna change
someone’s life.
1434
01:07:03,103 --> 01:07:04,980
-♪ Oh, boy ♪
-("You Bring Me Joy" playing)
1435
01:07:05,063 --> 01:07:07,482
♪ You’ve got it going on ♪
1436
01:07:07,566 --> 01:07:09,901
♪ And you satisfy me,
yes, you do ♪
1437
01:07:09,985 --> 01:07:11,278
♪ You satisfy me ♪
1438
01:07:11,361 --> 01:07:14,322
-♪ So much joy ♪
-Ooh.
1439
01:07:14,406 --> 01:07:15,532
♪ Oh ♪
1440
01:07:15,615 --> 01:07:18,618
♪ In my world ♪
1441
01:07:18,702 --> 01:07:20,954
♪ Ooh, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
1442
01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:25,167
-♪ Be my man ♪
-♪ Mm, be my man ♪
1443
01:07:25,250 --> 01:07:29,379
♪ And I’ll be your girl ♪
1444
01:07:29,463 --> 01:07:32,632
-(vocalizing, song fades)
-Yeah.
1445
01:07:32,716 --> 01:07:36,303
-CROWD: ♪ I don’t know
what I would do ♪ -(chuckles)
1446
01:07:36,386 --> 01:07:38,847
-♪ Do without you ♪
-(whooping, excited chatter)
1447
01:07:38,930 --> 01:07:41,516
-♪ In my life, boy. ♪
-Yeah.
1448
01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:44,102
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah!
1449
01:07:44,186 --> 01:07:47,189
(cheering, applause)
1450
01:07:47,272 --> 01:07:49,107
But it’s funny ’cause,
like, that song, like,
1451
01:07:49,191 --> 01:07:51,109
there’s a lot of darkness,
right, and pain in the album,
1452
01:07:51,193 --> 01:07:52,652
but that-that feels
more, like, upbeat,
1453
01:07:52,736 --> 01:07:54,279
just, like, positive and fresh.
1454
01:07:54,362 --> 01:07:56,615
-Like, like, did y’all, like...
-I mean, it’s positive,
1455
01:07:56,698 --> 01:07:58,784
but the first line is:
"You know if the time is right,
1456
01:07:58,867 --> 01:08:01,453
-I don’t wanna fuss and fight."
-(laughter)
1457
01:08:01,536 --> 01:08:03,371
-And then... -A lot of fussing
and fighting on the album, Mary.
1458
01:08:03,455 --> 01:08:05,248
And then "All Night Long" is
like: "Ooh, baby, not tonight,
1459
01:08:05,332 --> 01:08:08,168
-I don’t wanna fuss," so...
-(laughter)
1460
01:08:08,251 --> 01:08:11,254
I was trying to be positive
in-in... in dark situations.
1461
01:08:11,338 --> 01:08:13,131
-Yeah.
-I was trying to,
1462
01:08:13,215 --> 01:08:15,842
you know, have some fun
somewhere, an-anywhere I could.
1463
01:08:15,926 --> 01:08:17,969
Yeah. Like, one of
the most uplifting records
1464
01:08:18,053 --> 01:08:21,139
is the first single, "Be Happy,"
where you’re literally asserting
1465
01:08:21,223 --> 01:08:22,766
that, "This is
where I need to be.
1466
01:08:22,849 --> 01:08:25,268
-Like, I don’t deserve this.
I deserve to have that." -Yeah.
1467
01:08:25,352 --> 01:08:26,394
-(applause)
-Mm-hmm.
1468
01:08:26,478 --> 01:08:27,813
One of the most powerful lyrics:
1469
01:08:27,896 --> 01:08:29,689
"How can I love somebody else
if I can’t love myself
1470
01:08:29,773 --> 01:08:31,608
-enough to know when it’s time?"
-Yeah.
1471
01:08:31,691 --> 01:08:33,276
-(applause)
-Yeah. -Yeah.
1472
01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:34,569
That’s how I felt.
1473
01:08:34,653 --> 01:08:36,363
That’s how I still--
t-today, you know?
1474
01:08:36,446 --> 01:08:38,114
-(laughter)
-WILSON: Yeah.
1475
01:08:38,198 --> 01:08:39,991
That’s where we are now.
1476
01:08:40,075 --> 01:08:41,701
Like, the journey is to,
every day,
1477
01:08:41,785 --> 01:08:45,664
-to want to try to be happy.
-Mm.
1478
01:08:45,747 --> 01:08:47,791
Uh, that’s-that’s all we,
all we can try to do.
1479
01:08:47,874 --> 01:08:49,251
-(applause)
-WILSON: Yeah.
1480
01:08:49,334 --> 01:08:50,627
You got a lot of shit
on your mind
1481
01:08:50,710 --> 01:08:51,795
and no way to let it out.
1482
01:08:51,878 --> 01:08:53,797
Some people do it with guns.
1483
01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:55,549
Some people do it
with drugs.
1484
01:08:55,632 --> 01:08:59,010
Some people never have an outlet
to-to express themself
1485
01:08:59,094 --> 01:09:01,930
and they die young
or they die early.
1486
01:09:02,013 --> 01:09:03,890
Anxiety, all kind of shit.
1487
01:09:03,974 --> 01:09:06,226
But then when you do
have that outlet,
1488
01:09:06,309 --> 01:09:08,854
then you can always
express yourself freely,
1489
01:09:08,937 --> 01:09:10,522
and then you got
a bunch of people around you
1490
01:09:10,605 --> 01:09:14,150
that was like, "Oh, shit,
I think the same fucking way.
1491
01:09:14,234 --> 01:09:15,777
Let me hear
some more of that shit."
1492
01:09:15,861 --> 01:09:17,946
(band playing "Be Happy")
1493
01:09:18,029 --> 01:09:20,532
(crowd cheering)
1494
01:09:23,410 --> 01:09:25,871
Now...
1495
01:09:25,954 --> 01:09:27,706
how many of y’all really want
to be happy tonight?
1496
01:09:27,789 --> 01:09:29,124
(crowd cheering)
1497
01:09:29,207 --> 01:09:30,709
If you really want to be happy,
1498
01:09:30,792 --> 01:09:35,046
I want to hear you
sing this song so loud.
1499
01:09:36,381 --> 01:09:39,092
And that’s all I’m trying to do.
1500
01:09:39,175 --> 01:09:44,180
CROWD:
♪ How can I love somebody else ♪
1501
01:09:44,264 --> 01:09:49,644
♪ If I can’t love myself
enough to know ♪
1502
01:09:49,728 --> 01:09:51,438
♪ When it’s time ♪
1503
01:09:51,521 --> 01:09:57,152
♪ Time to let go? ♪
1504
01:09:57,235 --> 01:09:59,154
MARY:
Uh-huh. ♪ Sing ♪
1505
01:09:59,237 --> 01:10:01,531
-♪ All I really want ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪
1506
01:10:01,615 --> 01:10:03,783
-♪ Is to be happy ♪
-♪ Oh, yeah... ♪
1507
01:10:03,867 --> 01:10:09,456
KEYS: Self-love is simply
acknowledging your own voice,
1508
01:10:09,539 --> 01:10:11,708
your own instinct,
1509
01:10:11,791 --> 01:10:14,210
and actually thinking about
what’s good for you,
1510
01:10:14,294 --> 01:10:16,004
as opposed to just doing
what everybody else
1511
01:10:16,087 --> 01:10:17,797
is telling you is good for you.
1512
01:10:17,881 --> 01:10:20,592
So it’s simple to love yourself.
1513
01:10:20,675 --> 01:10:23,303
Can’t love anybody else
before you love yourself.
1514
01:10:23,386 --> 01:10:24,930
Hardest thing in practice.
1515
01:10:25,013 --> 01:10:27,849
CROWD:
♪ Why must it be this way? ♪
1516
01:10:27,933 --> 01:10:32,103
♪ Why do you have to play
with my mind ♪
1517
01:10:32,187 --> 01:10:33,813
♪ All the time? ♪
1518
01:10:33,897 --> 01:10:35,440
♪ Help me sing it... ♪
1519
01:10:35,523 --> 01:10:38,485
Mary is still
on that journey with us.
1520
01:10:38,568 --> 01:10:40,070
She’s-she’s gonna be here,
1521
01:10:40,153 --> 01:10:42,781
and she’s on that--
this-this journey to
1522
01:10:42,864 --> 01:10:44,783
put her life out there
for us to see.
1523
01:10:44,866 --> 01:10:48,620
CROWD: ♪ All I really want
is for me to be happy. ♪
1524
01:10:49,955 --> 01:10:51,539
(song ends)
1525
01:10:51,623 --> 01:10:54,042
(crowd cheering)
1526
01:10:59,631 --> 01:11:04,344
My Life truly was a blessing,
and I would say the empowerment
1527
01:11:04,427 --> 01:11:08,682
that it gave us
from telling the truth
1528
01:11:08,765 --> 01:11:10,433
changed our lives.
1529
01:11:10,517 --> 01:11:14,020
MARY: And if you’re here tonight
and you’re a Mary J. Blige fan,
1530
01:11:14,104 --> 01:11:18,984
you have been tested,
you have been tried,
1531
01:11:19,067 --> 01:11:21,277
and you have been proven.
1532
01:11:21,361 --> 01:11:22,737
And trust me, there’s a lot--
you know--
1533
01:11:22,821 --> 01:11:24,322
there’s a lot more testing to go
1534
01:11:24,406 --> 01:11:25,740
and a lot more trying
and all that stuff.
1535
01:11:25,824 --> 01:11:32,205
But right now, I need to speak
to all those die-hard,
1536
01:11:32,288 --> 01:11:35,083
been-there-since-1991...
1537
01:11:35,166 --> 01:11:36,334
(crowd cheering)
1538
01:11:36,418 --> 01:11:40,839
...whether I was
doing good, bad--
1539
01:11:40,922 --> 01:11:44,259
I need to talk to those fans
that did not leave me!
1540
01:11:44,342 --> 01:11:46,594
I need y’all right now!
1541
01:11:46,678 --> 01:11:48,555
(crowd cheering)
1542
01:11:50,390 --> 01:11:52,809
Thank you! Thank you!
1543
01:11:52,892 --> 01:11:55,270
Thank you!
1544
01:11:55,353 --> 01:11:57,897
Thank you! Thank you!
1545
01:11:57,981 --> 01:11:59,315
Thank you!
1546
01:11:59,399 --> 01:12:02,318
(band playing upbeat music)
1547
01:12:09,993 --> 01:12:11,786
-(music ends)
-(cheering continues)
1548
01:12:11,870 --> 01:12:14,456
♪ ♪
1549
01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:30,013
(lively chatter)
1550
01:12:30,096 --> 01:12:32,390
-You are so cute.
-WOMAN: Damn, baby, damn.
1551
01:12:32,474 --> 01:12:33,808
-I love it.
-Damn.
1552
01:12:33,892 --> 01:12:35,351
-I try.
-MAN: Yes!
1553
01:12:35,435 --> 01:12:37,062
You look so beautiful.
1554
01:12:37,145 --> 01:12:38,438
MAN:
(chuckles) Yes!
1555
01:12:38,521 --> 01:12:39,606
MARY:
Bless you, Father God.
1556
01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:41,024
Bless your holy
and righteous name.
1557
01:12:41,107 --> 01:12:42,609
-MAN: Thank you, Jesus.
-(others murmuring)
1558
01:12:42,692 --> 01:12:44,527
MARY: Father, thank you so much
for your presence right now.
1559
01:12:44,611 --> 01:12:46,613
We thank you
for a phenomenal night.
1560
01:12:46,696 --> 01:12:48,031
We in agreement.
1561
01:12:48,114 --> 01:12:50,158
-Amen.
-ALL: Amen.
1562
01:12:50,241 --> 01:12:52,160
(cheering)
1563
01:12:52,243 --> 01:12:54,245
♪ ♪
1564
01:12:59,667 --> 01:13:01,419
WOMAN: Every day,
we’re growing into new people,
1565
01:13:01,503 --> 01:13:04,089
and Mary brings that
to her fans.
1566
01:13:04,172 --> 01:13:06,132
Yes, today was a bad day,
but guess what,
1567
01:13:06,216 --> 01:13:08,426
tomorrow’s a new day
and you can start over.
1568
01:13:08,510 --> 01:13:10,637
MARY: It’s a lot of stuff
to come through still,
1569
01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:13,848
a lot of stuff that I...
have not come through,
1570
01:13:13,932 --> 01:13:15,683
but I’m coming through.
1571
01:13:15,767 --> 01:13:17,769
And my fans, they’re
coming through stuff, too,
1572
01:13:17,852 --> 01:13:19,562
and that’s what we--
we’re healing each other.
1573
01:13:19,646 --> 01:13:23,024
We’re back and forth,
sending energy back and forth
1574
01:13:23,108 --> 01:13:24,859
that’s helping
each other to grow,
1575
01:13:24,943 --> 01:13:26,486
and that’s what we’ve been
doing for years.
1576
01:13:26,569 --> 01:13:28,571
-Mary!
-We love you!
1577
01:13:28,655 --> 01:13:31,032
I love you, Mary,
all my heart and soul,
1578
01:13:31,116 --> 01:13:34,536
since the day I was like six
and I could walk and talk, okay?
1579
01:13:34,619 --> 01:13:35,912
Mary.
1580
01:13:35,995 --> 01:13:37,664
-Come on...
-Let’s go, let’s go.
1581
01:13:37,747 --> 01:13:39,624
♪ ♪
1582
01:13:39,707 --> 01:13:41,459
BOY: Have you always
wanted to be a singer,
1583
01:13:41,543 --> 01:13:44,295
or was there other, um, things
that you wanted to do?
1584
01:13:44,379 --> 01:13:46,005
-No. -Before you went inside
this booth and made this song.
1585
01:13:46,089 --> 01:13:47,841
-(laughter)
-I mean, I always knew
1586
01:13:47,924 --> 01:13:50,426
that I-I-I could sing
and I wanted to sing,
1587
01:13:50,510 --> 01:13:52,387
but I really...
1588
01:13:52,470 --> 01:13:54,472
singing wasn’t, like, the
only thing that was on my mind,
1589
01:13:54,556 --> 01:13:56,182
because I didn’t think that,
you know,
1590
01:13:56,266 --> 01:13:58,810
stuff like that could happen
to somebody like me.
1591
01:13:58,893 --> 01:14:00,937
-You know what I’m saying?
Like us. -Yeah, yeah.
1592
01:14:01,020 --> 01:14:02,522
GIRL:
So you feel that, since you did
1593
01:14:02,605 --> 01:14:05,859
a lot of work on this album,
you feel better for yourself
1594
01:14:05,942 --> 01:14:07,735
-that you did something...
-Yeah.
1595
01:14:07,819 --> 01:14:11,239
...for our-- for yourself,
you know, this came from you?
1596
01:14:11,322 --> 01:14:12,740
(chuckles)
I feel real good about it,
1597
01:14:12,824 --> 01:14:15,285
’cause it was a challenge
to do something like that,
1598
01:14:15,368 --> 01:14:17,453
’cause I never had
the confidence to bring it
1599
01:14:17,537 --> 01:14:19,831
to, you know, anybody and say,
"Do you like it?"
1600
01:14:19,914 --> 01:14:22,834
And when I finally, you know,
got up the confidence,
1601
01:14:22,917 --> 01:14:25,336
you know, I brought it to
a couple people, they liked it,
1602
01:14:25,420 --> 01:14:28,631
and it made me happy, so I just
kept writing and kept doing it.
1603
01:14:28,715 --> 01:14:30,383
Were you aware of that, Andre,
as-as she was growing?
1604
01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:33,178
Yeah. I watched,
I watched Mary, um, grow.
1605
01:14:33,261 --> 01:14:34,971
Like, when she was
writing the songs
1606
01:14:35,054 --> 01:14:36,639
and I was listening
to the songs,
1607
01:14:36,723 --> 01:14:40,560
I was feeling like Mary is
becoming a full-fledged artist.
1608
01:14:40,643 --> 01:14:42,645
I mean, you know,
it all comes from her.
1609
01:14:42,729 --> 01:14:45,064
Mary J. Blige all comes from
her feeling.
1610
01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:47,192
And I think that gives her
the confidence to know, like,
1611
01:14:47,275 --> 01:14:50,153
I know she believes
"I’m Miss Mary J. Blige."
1612
01:14:50,236 --> 01:14:52,488
-And that’s all right
with y’all, huh? -(laughter)
1613
01:14:52,572 --> 01:14:54,490
(crowd cheering)
1614
01:14:54,574 --> 01:14:59,579
GROUP:
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1615
01:14:59,662 --> 01:15:05,460
♪ Happy birthday, dear Mary ♪
1616
01:15:05,543 --> 01:15:11,007
♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪
1617
01:15:11,090 --> 01:15:13,092
(cheering)
1618
01:15:17,388 --> 01:15:18,890
Um... (clears throat)
1619
01:15:18,973 --> 01:15:20,892
Two cakes for the queen.
1620
01:15:20,975 --> 01:15:22,644
-Who is the other cake for?
-WOMAN: Yes, queen!
1621
01:15:22,727 --> 01:15:24,979
For you, so you can have
a choice. You deserve choices.
1622
01:15:25,063 --> 01:15:26,689
-Vanilla or chocolate, baby.
-Options, baby, you got options.
1623
01:15:26,773 --> 01:15:29,234
(laughter)
1624
01:15:29,317 --> 01:15:31,319
HARRELL: Mary,
from the moment I met you--
1625
01:15:31,402 --> 01:15:33,154
you were 18 years old--
1626
01:15:33,238 --> 01:15:35,907
I heard your voice,
I looked in your heart,
1627
01:15:35,990 --> 01:15:39,619
and I saw that you were truly
gifted but you were troubled.
1628
01:15:39,702 --> 01:15:43,706
But the amazing thing
about you as a person
1629
01:15:43,790 --> 01:15:48,378
is how you are able to put
your troubles on the canvas
1630
01:15:48,461 --> 01:15:51,965
and deal with them in front of
people and get over them.
1631
01:15:52,048 --> 01:15:54,842
And by you getting over them,
it inspires us,
1632
01:15:54,926 --> 01:15:57,887
-so here’s to you, Mary.
-WOMAN: Mm-hmm.
1633
01:15:57,971 --> 01:15:59,430
-Aw.
-You truly are a queen.
1634
01:15:59,514 --> 01:16:02,684
-(others murmuring)
-Hear! Hear!
1635
01:16:02,767 --> 01:16:05,103
-Thank you so much!
-(glasses clinking)
1636
01:16:05,186 --> 01:16:07,689
(lively chatter, laughter)
1637
01:16:07,772 --> 01:16:11,317
I just want to say thank y’all
for hanging in there with me
1638
01:16:11,401 --> 01:16:13,111
and believing that I can make it
1639
01:16:13,194 --> 01:16:14,862
to another year,
another birthday,
1640
01:16:14,946 --> 01:16:17,407
because I didn’t think
I was gonna make it.
1641
01:16:17,490 --> 01:16:20,034
Life is looking up, but in the
midst of the beautiful things
1642
01:16:20,118 --> 01:16:23,705
that God was doing and is doing,
there’s still trial.
1643
01:16:23,788 --> 01:16:27,667
But I choose life
and I choose the good,
1644
01:16:27,750 --> 01:16:30,795
and I’m gonna continue
to work on Mary, whether it be
1645
01:16:30,878 --> 01:16:32,755
spiritual, mental, physical,
it’s--
1646
01:16:32,839 --> 01:16:38,052
First thing, my baby is my Mary,
my little Mary and my big Mary,
1647
01:16:38,136 --> 01:16:40,888
my confused Mary,
my every kind of Mary.
1648
01:16:40,972 --> 01:16:44,142
So, it took us a while
to get here, and when we all--
1649
01:16:44,225 --> 01:16:47,061
we’re almost 50,
and we gonna really act up.
1650
01:16:47,145 --> 01:16:48,730
-(laughter)
-This is only the beginning.
1651
01:16:48,813 --> 01:16:51,691
Y’all ain’t seen nothing yet.
So thank y’all.
1652
01:16:51,774 --> 01:16:54,485
Like, I’m grateful and I’m not
gonna let nobody take away
1653
01:16:54,569 --> 01:16:56,321
-my strength...
-That’s right.
1654
01:16:56,404 --> 01:16:58,489
...or my joy ever again.
1655
01:16:58,573 --> 01:17:00,700
♪ ♪
1656
01:17:00,783 --> 01:17:03,244
Being human is hard,
1657
01:17:03,328 --> 01:17:08,875
but I think I’ve evolved
in a, in a major way.
1658
01:17:08,958 --> 01:17:12,086
But what’s consistent
is my heart,
1659
01:17:12,170 --> 01:17:14,213
and my heart is
that little girl in Yonkers.
1660
01:17:14,297 --> 01:17:16,841
My heart is that teenager
1661
01:17:16,924 --> 01:17:19,093
trying to get through
and making it through.
1662
01:17:19,177 --> 01:17:20,595
My heart is never forgetting
1663
01:17:20,678 --> 01:17:22,680
the environment
that I grew up in
1664
01:17:22,764 --> 01:17:24,724
and going back
and helping others.
1665
01:17:24,807 --> 01:17:29,395
So the evolution is not being
afraid to expose my truth
1666
01:17:29,479 --> 01:17:32,732
and myself to touch
someone else’s life.
1667
01:17:33,733 --> 01:17:35,735
(cheering, clapping)
1668
01:17:36,819 --> 01:17:38,821
-You make a wish?
-(laughter)
1669
01:17:40,573 --> 01:17:42,325
I don’t think you really
made a wish, though.
1670
01:17:42,408 --> 01:17:44,327
-Yo, make a wish. -How you know
I didn’t make a wish?
1671
01:17:44,410 --> 01:17:46,245
You got two-- make two wishes.
’Cause I can feel you.
1672
01:17:46,329 --> 01:17:47,830
Okay, I don’t like to wish,
1673
01:17:47,914 --> 01:17:49,123
-so I’m-a go and believe...
-Say a prayer.
1674
01:17:49,207 --> 01:17:50,708
-HARRELL: Mm.
-Say a prayer.
1675
01:17:50,792 --> 01:17:55,046
...that what I desire
in my heart will be.
1676
01:17:56,464 --> 01:17:58,883
-Amen.
-Amen. Amen.
1677
01:18:00,385 --> 01:18:03,805
(group cheering, clapping)
1678
01:18:03,888 --> 01:18:06,891
("Hour Glass" by Mary J. Blige
playing)
1679
01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:24,367
♪ If you could see a second’s
in an hourglass ♪
1680
01:18:24,450 --> 01:18:28,454
♪ If you could see the minutes
of the life you have ♪
1681
01:18:28,538 --> 01:18:32,125
♪ Would you run
and would you try ♪
1682
01:18:32,208 --> 01:18:34,210
♪ To win it back? ♪
1683
01:18:36,045 --> 01:18:39,924
♪ If you can see your future
in a photograph ♪
1684
01:18:40,007 --> 01:18:43,761
♪ If you could see the life
that you wish you had ♪
1685
01:18:43,845 --> 01:18:47,598
♪ Could you be strong
and carry on ♪
1686
01:18:47,682 --> 01:18:49,767
♪ With what you have? ♪
1687
01:18:51,936 --> 01:18:54,564
♪ Why we wasting life? ♪
1688
01:18:55,731 --> 01:18:59,861
♪ Should be chasing life ♪
1689
01:18:59,944 --> 01:19:03,739
♪ If we’re breathing
for the very last time ♪
1690
01:19:03,823 --> 01:19:07,618
♪ I don’t wanna hold on
to goodbye ♪
1691
01:19:07,702 --> 01:19:11,330
♪ If there’s no tomorrow ♪
1692
01:19:11,414 --> 01:19:15,376
♪ We better make it
last tonight ♪
1693
01:19:15,460 --> 01:19:19,255
♪ If we’re standing
when the walls come down ♪
1694
01:19:19,338 --> 01:19:23,176
♪ If we make it
to the final round ♪
1695
01:19:23,259 --> 01:19:26,762
♪ If we’re here tomorrow ♪
1696
01:19:26,846 --> 01:19:32,768
♪ We live it better than
we did last night ♪
1697
01:19:32,852 --> 01:19:34,854
(vocalizing)
1698
01:19:49,744 --> 01:19:53,372
♪ If you were on your knees,
would you take a stand? ♪
1699
01:19:53,456 --> 01:19:57,460
♪ If you were in need,
would you take my hand? ♪
1700
01:19:57,543 --> 01:20:01,005
♪ Would you lie
and lose your pride ♪
1701
01:20:01,088 --> 01:20:03,299
♪ To live again? ♪
1702
01:20:05,218 --> 01:20:09,013
♪ If you could wake up
and see through yourself ♪
1703
01:20:09,096 --> 01:20:13,017
♪ Would you find the room
to blame someone else? ♪
1704
01:20:13,100 --> 01:20:16,687
♪ Could you change
in just a day ♪
1705
01:20:16,771 --> 01:20:19,190
♪ And cry for help? ♪
1706
01:20:20,816 --> 01:20:24,654
♪ Why we wasting life? ♪
1707
01:20:24,737 --> 01:20:28,866
♪ Should be chasing life ♪
1708
01:20:28,950 --> 01:20:32,745
♪ If we’re breathing
for the very last time ♪
1709
01:20:32,828 --> 01:20:36,624
♪ I don’t wanna hold on
to goodbye ♪
1710
01:20:36,707 --> 01:20:40,336
♪ If there’s no tomorrow ♪
1711
01:20:40,419 --> 01:20:44,382
♪ We better make it
last tonight ♪
1712
01:20:44,465 --> 01:20:48,261
♪ If we’re standing
when the walls come down ♪
1713
01:20:48,344 --> 01:20:52,181
♪ If we make it
to the final round ♪
1714
01:20:52,265 --> 01:20:55,768
♪ If we’re here tomorrow ♪
1715
01:20:55,851 --> 01:20:59,605
♪ We live it better than
we did last night ♪
1716
01:20:59,689 --> 01:21:04,026
♪ ’Cause you’re not alone,
no, you’re not alone ♪
1717
01:21:04,110 --> 01:21:07,321
♪ We’ve all been wasting time ♪
1718
01:21:07,405 --> 01:21:11,659
♪ No, it’s not too late ♪
1719
01:21:11,742 --> 01:21:15,705
♪ For us to make it right ♪
1720
01:21:15,788 --> 01:21:19,917
♪ We still have today ♪
1721
01:21:23,212 --> 01:21:27,008
♪ If we’re breathing
for the very last time ♪
1722
01:21:27,091 --> 01:21:30,970
♪ I don’t wanna hold on
to goodbye ♪
1723
01:21:31,053 --> 01:21:34,473
♪ If there’s no tomorrow ♪
1724
01:21:34,557 --> 01:21:38,686
♪ We better make it
last tonight ♪
1725
01:21:38,769 --> 01:21:42,607
♪ If we’re standing
when the walls come down ♪
1726
01:21:42,690 --> 01:21:46,402
♪ If we make it
to the final round ♪
1727
01:21:46,485 --> 01:21:50,072
♪ If we’re here tomorrow ♪
1728
01:21:50,156 --> 01:21:54,952
♪ We live it better than
we did last night. ♪
1729
01:21:59,915 --> 01:22:01,917
(song fades)
127628
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