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ALBERT KANTOFF
"KEEP THE RED LAMP BURNING"

BASED ON A NOVEL BY
PAUL REBOUX AND CHARLES MULLER

THE CLOSURE: WHERE WE SEE
THE CURSE BEFALL AN ANCIENT INDUSTRY.

THE SAD FATE OF A HIGHLY QUALIFIED
WORKFORCE THAT EUROPE ENVIED.

HOW MONSIEUR CHARLES
SECURED SOCIAL PROMOTION

FOR HIS BEST WORKER.
A GIFT HE GAVE HER TO SHOW HIS ESTEEM.

Turn it off.

Sometimes we should

remember certain horrors.

The war and all its privations

lead to misunderstandings

and confusion.

It's the only way to explain

the terrible events that beset our country

on the dawn of April 13th 1946,

the day when intolerance
led to the closure of certain homes.

Did you see the lady crying?

That old moth.

She's always had a strange way.

Well, it's over now.

You mustn't get down, Mr. Charles.

You'll see, one day they'll be sorry.

But it'll be too late.

Don't be silly, Charles.

Don't stay down in the dumps.

You should eat something.

My hands are tied!

Don't be childish. I made you some eggnog.

That's kind, but I just couldn't.

Some days you just can't taste anything.

You want to melt away, stop thinking.

That's mankind's burden.

The inability to stop thinking.

You're hurting yourself...

Ladies, you should start packing.
The clock's ticking!

- Shall we go?
- Come and help me.

Should I make the beds in the rooms?

Strip the beds.
Don't you get it? It's over.

I'm like Sir, I can't believe it.

Clean the rooms and open the blinds.

Oh, ma'am,

let me open the blinds last.

Poor kid.

Why are you looking at me?

I admire you.

You're calm, poised...

When all hell breaks loose,
you show everyone how to be.

Who's that?

It's the cops, ma'am.

We just came to remind you of the time.
You gotta be out of here by 5 a.m.

It's not us, Mrs. Blanche.

We never bothered you in the past.

We'll be gone.

I swear.

If you say so.

What's the matter, honey?

I'm depressed.

I hear ya. This is really something.

Tell me about it.

We're gonna be living like Gypsies again.

Looking for places to crash.

Eating at the diner.

And laundering.

That's harder to find nowadays.

What are you gonna do, job-wise?

Got a client.

He's offered to put me on the boards.

What?

- The stage!
- Ah...

He's opening a cabaret in Toulouse.

We're looking for breasts.

But it's not for everyone.

This place has made me

made me shy.

- Julie, or the New Héloïse?
- Here.

The Social Contract,

Émile,

The Confessions.

- Is it interesting?
- I don't know. There aren't any pictures.

My crazy Tuesday client gave them to me.

I'd have preferred perfume.

Take them if you want. I don't have room.

Well, I won't say no.

Having books around make you look serious.

Hey!

That's funny, I knew a Rousseau.

He wasn't called Jean-Jacques.
His name was Arthur.

Colette, help me,
I'll be late.

Madame could give me another fine.

That would be nice.
It would mean we could keep going.

Are you going back to Nice?

Guess!

Further away.

Oran.

You going back to the madhouse?

Don't be silly. That business shut down.

- I've got a store.
- Oh? What kind of store?

Well...

I don't know.

Just a store.

My man took care of it for me.

He invested my money in it.

Is he going with you?

He can't.

He's in Dakar on a business trip.

- So you're going alone?
- Yeah, right...

He wouldn't let me do that.

His younger cousin is going with me.

He knows the area inside out.
He'll bring me up to speed.

- What's his cousin like?
- Never met him.

Pascal said to me: "You'll recognize him,

"he has the same accent as me."

Where is Pascal from?

Bastia.

Hey! Mauricette!

Mauricette?

Yes?

- You want this?
- Oh yes!

Are you staying in Paris?

Yeah, because of my classes.

I teach massage.

The doctor says there's
a huge demand for masseuses these days.

They're wanted everywhere.

- But you need a diploma.
- Let's see.

There.

You taking books with you?

Yes, I gave them to her.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau!

Hey, that's funny.

I knew a Rousseau.

He was called Gaston.

Breathe.

Stop breathing.

Breathe.

Cough.

Again.

Yes. Breathe.

You have the heart of a racehorse, honey!

You just have to avoid giblets,
spices, and of course,

liquor.

You had a healthy diet here and
ate at regular times.

On the outside don't just eat sandwiches.

Try and eat at regular mealtimes.

You have to stay reasonable.

- What about my legs?
- Ah, varicose veins.

Everyone has those, even me.

That, doctor, is the tragedy of being
an early developer.

I started too young.

The difficulty in our job is the stairs.

- Goodbye, Doctor.
- Goodbye, Carmen.

And thank you!

You're feeling down,
so you sink into books? Let's see.

Oh, Jean-Jacques Rousseau...

It's a small world.

I knew a Jean-Jacques.

But his surname wasn't Rousseau.

It was Vital.

Vital...

Oh, Doc, you're going to
a lot of trouble for nothing.

Their health won't last long.

They'll meet someone randomly,

somewhere, somehow.

And get the clap.

Saint-Louis hospital under siege.

You're deluding yourself.
That'll never happen.

They have sulfonamides and antibiotics,

The clap's disappeared.

You're better within a month.

So what happens to the doctor?
You wanna tell me that?

There will always be sick people.

Sick, sick... What does that mean, sick?

You think, after 20 years' experience,
I treat kids with whooping cough?

- Don't know. You want something?
- I don't drink.

Okay then...

Put it there and be careful.

- Mrs. Blanche, we've something to say.
- What is it?

We want to go to America.

Hey, Charles, look at me.

This change of scenery is
going to do you some good.

Six months in the countryside,
fishing, hunting.

- Why? What's wrong with me?
- Overwork.

- The boss's disease.
- What?

Hey, a house like yours,
it was an example.

Yes, but I didn't run it
like a grocery store.

We worked all hours, we lived for others.

Now that it's over, I'll do
like everyone else, I will live selfishly.

When I'm back to myself I'll come
see you. You can give me a check-up.

Of course.

Put your suitcases here.
There, neat and tidy.

Here.

You're still in your nightgown?

Not a work day. We're moving.

There's more luggage, Mrs. Pauline.

Can't crease our clothes.

Well, go up and get them,
hurry! Come on, quick, quick!

Careful, it's fragile...

Well.

It's not my day.

The doc looked at the whites of my eyes.

He couldn't believe it.

I've got the boss's disease.
He's signed me off work.

Whether we're ordered to close
by a warrant or a doctor's note...

Oh, thanks!

Don't get upset, sweetie.

I'm not joking about your health.

It's all the same.

Have you heard?

You know what Solange
and Mauricette told me?

Oh, no guessing games, this morning!

They're going abroad!

They want a career in America.

Well done, girls, that's very brave.

Which America are you heading to?

South, Mr. Charles.

That's healthy!

They're dreaming of pesos,

bolivars, cruzeiros and cordobas!

It's not easy to change those currencies,

but you gotta earn them first!

If you don't speak Spanish
or Portuguese, I don't see you succeeding!

We do an hour's Assimil every day.

Assimil...

Assimil won't teach you
to recognize a barefoot customer!

They all look the same over there!

You'd mistake a plantation owner

for a desperado.

- Is that true, Mrs. Blanche?
- Bah! You tell them, Charles.

The journey in steerage.

- On the banana boat.
- Oh dear...

Our arrival in the most beautiful bay
of the world.

I'd bought two dresses for
Mrs. Blanche from the passage Brady.

And I had a suit from Albin.

I was wearing goat's leather boots.

Crocodile skin was later on.

Yes. I had brand new shoes.
I barely stepped onto the dock

when my watch was stolen.

Yeah.

So?

Antoinette, hurry, open the door.

Louise, come over here.

Come here.

Put your baggage down here.

Here.

Oh, we're fed up, Mrs. Pauline.

That's not my fault.

- It's Marcel.
- Charles...

I can't believe it.

- Who is that?
- It's Mr. Marcel, from Toulon.

Innkeeper of the Big Eight.

That's the Big Eight innkeeper?

- Hey, who is that?
- The Big Eight innkeeper.

Oh, boy.

Oh, he has a presence.

- How are you, boy?
- Oh, you know...

- Come and sit down.
- Blanche.

- Are you sure you're okay?
- Well...

How's your girl? She's so sensitive. Here.

How's she taking it?

I had to put her in the clinic.

- So you got kicked out?
- Yes

Like an outcast, like a leper.

I crossed the city.

No one greeted me.

Clients of 20 years,

important folk,

people I had served,

turning their back
on me when they saw my car!

A record of ingratitude.

Do you hear what he's saying? You hear?

So I hit the road.

I went up the Rhône Valley.

Ruins everywhere.

You hear that?

Everywhere.

Riton d'Alès.

Louis de Valence. Mrs. Aimée.

Someone who's loved Auxerre for 15 years...

Everyone on the street. Cadillacs
under pressure, the road to exile!

It's the fear, Charles, the year 1,000,
like in our school books!

Luckily, some are surviving!

And they're the ones who sent me.
The rebels!

What are they rebelling against?

Against the law.

Against the evil plots!

Last night in Lyon we founded
our resistance committee.

Really? You're kidding?

37 innkeepers.

The best of the profession were there.

And a plan was voted unanimously.

What plan? I don't understand you.

An action plan. Try to keep up.

Three thousand members are
heading to Paris

for the march.

From Saint-Martin to the Madeleine,
it's going to be explosive!

At police headquarters, probably.

- Charles...
- Yes?

The committee thought of you

as the most capable.

Capable of what?

To bring together the best Parisiennes.

You could probably get a thousand.

We would be four thousand protesters.

- Can you imagine? Being in the papers?
- Yeah, I can!

I can even see my name in the headlines.

Don't you think
we have enough to deal with?

I don't understand you, man.

You're usually pretty smart.

Let me tell you
what I think of your committee.

You men are going straight to jail.
There's enough room for you.

There's a precedent!

- Oh, you think so?
- For sure.

- So, we have to dissolve?
- And fast.

Before the warrants
for subversive activities.

And the League of Human Rights?
Could they do anything?

Oh, Marcel, stop it. You're exhausting.

I'll give you some advice.

Tell your colleagues
not to unleash their grumpy cows.

Because people will have
their eyes on them.

Today's youngsters have no moral backbone.

Don't give up.

We'll find another defense.

You've got to hold on.

But to hold on, you gotta have the means.

You've been in Toulon for ten years.

You're not broke, are you?

Yes I am, Charles!

They threw everything at me.

They're emptying the prisons,
but they opened up the gambling dens.

As if that was a moral choice.

And I love the green stuff,
so I'm on my knees.

I hope you still have a good appetite,
despite all this?

I've fixed a buffet.
Caviar and smoked salmon.

There's even eggnog, if you want.

Come on ladies, off to the dining room!

- Caviar and smoked salmon!
- And even scrambled eggs, if you want.

Did you hear that? Caviar and salmon.

Come on, girls!

Hello?

Yes, it's the right place,
but we're closed.

Are you redecorating?

No, we're not redecorating. We're closed.

We're closed...

That's beautiful!

He looks like my dad.

And he looks like my grandfather.

- Oh, say, Mr. Charles...
- Yes?

...he looks like my father.

Oh, gee, he wouldn't look like
your sister, would he?

That kid...

Pictures, dolls...

She still suck her thumb, too?

I'm doing to have another drumstick.

I've been sucking on this bone
for a half hour.

Sorry.

There are sausages! You want some?

Pass me the champagne.

We'll be drinking until tomorrow morning.

When your country treats you like
we've been treated,

there's no point hoping
it will get any better.

You gotta fight outside
the country's borders.

You may be right, Mr. Marcel.

There's no maybe.

It's a certainty.

Anyway...

- Do you know Tahiti?
- No.

Palm trees, lagoons...

The hula hula.

It's great for a cutie like you,
but it brings a john to ruin.

And listen,

when I say "john",

I'm talking about scientists
and senior administrators.

I'll make a bet with you.

We go off together.

Bring your pal with you, since you
seem to be joined at the hip.

In two years,

you'll be behind bars and she'll
be pimping.

Doesn't that like a plan, huh?

Are you listening to that?

How about you?

Sounds as good as life on rue Godot,
doesn't it?

Well, yes.

What's this dream land called, Marcel?

Say it again.

If it's as good as you say,

maybe you should get back in the game.

I'm sorry. I was thinking out loud.

I'm sorry, kids,

I...

I was getting carried away.

I wanted to fly away.

Don't worry about it, Mr. Marcel.

- We enjoyed it.
- Ma'am!

The new girl is crying.
She doesn't want to eat or drink!

- I'm coming.
- Leave it.

Consolation is a man's business.

Have a drink, sweetie.

No, thank you.

Don't damage your peepers.

You might need them later
for your pension.

What did you do before?

The typewriter.

The typewriter?

I don't want any more.

Why?

The director,

The assistant director,

the bosses,

the head of HR, the manager.

That's ten hands.

Oh, I say.
You should have slapped them away.

Not possible sir, the machine.

Oh, my...

Be careful moving that.
The golden one is fragile.

I don't want it to get chipped.

Say, boss,

that's not very practical for shaving.

Don't worry about it,
you won't ever use it.

You don't care that it's closing?

You must have some great memories.

These young folks' politics.

What are they giving us?

They're building
swimming pools and stadiums.

Can't use those
for the same thing as here.

Take this apart.

I'll wait for you in the living room.

Hello, gentlemen.

The door was open, Miss Antoinette,

so we came inside.

It's more moving men. I'll tell Madam.

Moving men...

Maybe it's a new attraction?

Yes. Or else, Mr. Charles is redecorating.

We're living in a period of growth.

Ma'am, there are two customers here.

The two gentlemen who always go
to the automobile show.

I don't believe it.

That's all we need.

Come on, ladies.

No need to laugh.

Mrs. Blanche, how do you do.

Gentlemen.

11 a.m. at Le Bourget, 11.45 at yours.
We can't be any faster!

Mr. Charles.

How do you do.

- And all the ladies, as usual.
- And the theater.

Tell them, Charles. I can't do it.

Gentlemen, that's all over.

It's old news.

It's done and dusted.

The house is closed and I don't think
you'll find another one open.

Then, what's the point of going to
the automobile show?

You'll have to go to Abidjan

or Hong Kong.

Because that's where tourists are
spending their cash now.

I'm talking about men who know,

men with taste,

because the casual holiday-maker,
like Romano,

can find anything he wants.

deep-sea fishing, sandcastles,

Honolulu on the cheap, all that shit.

In Descartes country.

You'll see.

Well done, gentlemen, you should be proud.

Don't hold it against us.

I know we're the bad guys,
but we're being fair.

We've just come to
remind you of the time, that's all.

It's a quarter to.

And at five,
a busload of students is coming.

It'll be free!

Since you're so reasonable,

why not amuse these gentlemen?

Take them on a river boat,

to the Invalides, to the art museum,

because you apparently organize
entertainment now!

We can drop these men somewhere,
if they want.

We can take them to the police station at
Quai des Orfèvres. It has three stars!

Oh.

Gentlemen, they're waiting for you.

I've seen everything, Mr. Charles.

Your stuff is pretty dirty.

It's pretty messy.

I'm not asking for jokes, I want an offer.

Eight rooms, 300,000,

the large living room and accessories,

- 75,000.
- Oh!

We spent 600 just on the seats,
armchairs and couches!

But I have to find a buyer.

Your furniture is kinda special,
it's not like it's a bourgeois home.

They said the same to me.

He took me to my Hindu palace
and my Japanese boudoir for 200.

You can't find exotic furniture like this.

They're all thieves.

I'll deal with this.

As for the art,

I can give you a deal,

say, 30,000.

A deal for 30,000? No.

What do you value this at?

- 200 bucks.
- I paid 400 for it.

What about this?

Oh ma'am, don't do that.

I'd like to buy it.

It was opposite my bed.

It helped me.

Take it.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Blanche.

You don't know what this means to me.

Give me a kiss.

You girls, you can take a souvenir too.

- Take what you want.
- Oh wow...

That way you'll always remember us.

Thank you, Mrs. Blanche!

You got some funny ideas.

It's not for me, it's for my kid.

- Why, isn't he well-behaved?
- Sure he is, he wants to be a jockey.

You taking that huge thing?

I may as well,
I've been looking at it so long.

Hey, don't take everything.

Look.

Mrs. Blanche gave it to me.

It's a heart, ma'am.

- Don't get so emotional.
- That's not it.

I'm thinking of Lucette, who buried
her old man

- who died in Melun.
- He had a house there?

- Prison.
- Of course, how silly of me.

He got life.

Lucette says it was a mistake.

It must be strange for her,
not to see it shut down.

Ah, Lucette...

She was the life and soul of the salon.

I can still hear her climbing the stairs...

See, buddy,

even if we open again one day,

you won't get a girl like that, who
speaks English and Spanish, not anymore.

Management would devour them.

I'm not talking about Lucette. No, she...

she'll go further.

We have to give a personal gift.

Something that will last.

That has meaning.

The sign outside. There you go.

Give him the lamp.

And this, look...

Hey, Colette, Colette! Put the...

this thing, here.

Okay.

They want romance. Shall I wrap it?

- How much?
- Two thousand.

They do pick-ups now.

Oh, go ahead,

wrap it.

Mr. Charles, we want to listen to it
one last time.

Hush!

We'll play ma'am's favorite.

The end of the world.

THE TRIAL
WHERE IT IS PROVEN THAT MERIT

ALWAYS FINDS ITS REWARD. WHEN A
NOVICE THIEF CHOOSES THE WRONG LOOT.

HOW, WHEN IT COMES TO THE LAW,

A LANTERN DOES NOT NECESSARILY
ILLUMINATE DEBATES.

THE BARONESS REBELS.

Mr. Charles was right.

Lucette would go far, and quickly.

You can be easy,
and have sensitive ankles.

It was thanks to this fragility

that Lucette had a genius idea,

to take the oldest profession on the road.

An innovation
that would go down in history

and become increasingly fashionable.

That evening, going from,
a Simca Six to a Traction,

Lucette took the first step on the ladder

to conquer horsepower.

Her career would go from

strength to strength

in bigger and bigger cars,

with smaller and smaller dogs

and uglier and uglier men,

who got older and older.

Going from an insurance broker to a lawyer

is a blessed transformation.

The spinning mills of the North,
that's cotton.

They were an opportunity for Lucette,
who was called Muriel then,

to discover that the turf
leads to everything,

provided you don't leave it.

Some names don't need to be mentioned.

We'll just say,

petrol, Cadillac, chihuahua.

We don't need to specify that Lucette,

who was now called Barbar, had,
in her passion for natural history,

adopted another small animal, the mink.

The Baron Seychelles du Hautpas,

whom you can admire here,
on one of his last outings,

passed away a few weeks later

in the arms of his tireless wife,

whom he had made his sole heir.

A legacy including,
among other peccadilloes,

this town house,

which was about to receive some visitors,

who were a bit peculiar.

I'm working.

Can't you see I'm working?

Don't you understand you're bugging me?
Huh?

Listen, Paulo,

if you want to pack up
to buy your cigarettes, okay,

or browse the cleaning supplies
in the grocery store, fine,

but you're stressing me out!

And I can't work when I'm stressed!

Oh, you can't...

And if you carry on, I'll give you one.

You'd hit me?

- Did you hear?
- Yes, I heard.

You need to have something to tear off.

Stop thinking!

Just imagine
that you have a train to catch

or that you're in the Olympic final!

Oh, no! Come on.

You are unbearable!

Why, what is that?

Oh, that, for example.

Oh, my dear friend, this is appalling.

Do something!
Call the police, or something!

I will.

My lamp.

Those pigs...

Arrested March 23rd
at 11 a.m. by police officers,

while he was in the process of selling

a bracelet from the theft,
committed by him, on March 22nd, at night,

when he burgled Madame
Baroness Seychelles du Hautpas,

proprietor on Henri-Martin avenue.

Having denied, then acknowledged
the facts, Leonard Maburon

spontaneously told the
above-named police officers

his home address,

where all the stolen items were found

during his arrest.

A quarter of an hour, maybe ten minutes.

All the jewelry, Maburon,

not the other items,

as according to the plaintiff,

a decorative item is missing.

What do you have to say
on this specific point? I'm listening.

I'm listening to you too, Your Honor.

That's all I'm doing.

And I still don't understand
what's happening.

It sounds like we're judging
another matter, here.

I don't feel like I belong here,

it's nothing to do with me.

I mean, Your Honor,

I return
a hundred thousand bucks of jewels

and I keep some crap worth three bucks!

Why? Huh? Why?

I'm asking you?

No, I'm asking you!

Oh yes.

I'll even tell you why
you're not saying anything.

According to the police reports,

you had an accomplice.

They were unidentified, and they have

become the subject matter of the dispute.

An accomplice.

But why, Your Honor?

Would you have had an accomplice
on such an easy job?

I've never had an accomplice, ever!

They call me Leo the lonely, so.

And there was never an item of litigation.

The cops are stitching me up.

It is peculiar, Your Honor,

that after our restitution,

well, that's the term of the indictment,

after our spontaneous restitution,

the plaintiff brings up

a new item, whose existence

remains to be proven.

I really got them there.

My colleague from the defense seems
confuse "restitution" and "search".

Gentlemen, we can't seem to agree,
even on the terms.

Well, I think it's best

that we hear the plaintiff,
as soon as possible.

Sit down, Baduron.

- Maburon.
- Mabu... Maburon.

Officer! Bring in
Baroness Seychelles of Hautpas.

Née Lucette Grannu. Yes, oh...

There was a seneschal Seychelles
du Haut Pas at Bouvines.

Very good lineage.

How can you be sure the Baroness
is Lucette, Mrs. Pauline?

I read Le Figaro. I can't be wrong.

There was a photo of her wedding
to the baron in the Society section.

Here she is.

Very pretty.

Approach, ma'am.

- You see I was right.
- Unbelievable.

Look at her clothes.

I would prefer to listen to you

without the company of your charming pet.

Silence, silence.

Beautiful animal, by the way, but...

still.

I'm sorry, Your Honor,

but Margaret is very emotional.

Cyclothymic, I would say,
like the rest of that breed.

An endangered breed.

I didn't want to upset the court.

I'm sure.

But what to do? Officer!

Oh, no, no! Your Honor!

What should I do with

What should I do with this little pet?

Don't worry honey, I'll be its nurse.

Is that okay?

Here you go.

Perfect.

Oh look at its little face!

Now, now! Silence!

Right, let's get back to business, ma'am.
Let's summarize.

It is, I believe, a lighting utensil?

A lantern, Your Honor.

A lantern? No.

An imitation Louis Philippe light.

A lantern, Your Honor.

Well, so be it, a lantern. Fine.

A lantern whose existence
is cast into doubt by your thief,

but is sworn to exist
by your domestic staff.

The testimony of a servant
is very questionable

and cannot be gathered

under oath.

Silence.

Counselor, would you like to ask
the plaintiff a question?

Oh, indeed, Your Honor.

Then you may proceed.

Ma'am, are you able to provide

proof of ownership of this famous lantern?

An invoice, an estate inventory?

Objection, counselor,

- but well planned.
- Ah...

We did a lot of research,
it was difficult, but fruitful.

We could have provided some invoices,
in deference,

but our duty being to enlighten justice,
we have chosen to bring it to light.

According to the saying

"Testis unus, testis nullus ",

we will, if it please the court,

provide double testimonial evidence.

The donor of the lantern

and a witness to the donation

may be called to this bar.

Well, let's hear them.

The court thanks you, madam.

I would ask you, however,
not to stray too far.

We may have some more details

for you to specify.

Yes, Your Honor.

Quite an unusual baroness.

Dear, I'm so happy to see you.

That stuck-up broad made a whole thing
for a dumb lamp.

Don't you think that...

Bring in the first witness!

How old he is...

He sure has changed.

My poor darlings, it's no wonder,
with everything that happened to him.

Your name is Charles Labergerie,

born March 9th, 1910, in Saint-Chamond.
Your profession?

Fishmonger, in Bourges.

He works as a fishmonger?

He's used to it.

Last April you did not believe you
had to comply with a summons

from the judge
who wanted to hear from you.

I'm sorry, Your Honor,

for us fishmongers,

especially in the regions
where atheistic materialism

has not yet overthrown faith,
it's a boom period.

Lent is a busy period.

Well, yes. Down to business.

A few years ago you donated

a lantern to the

Baroness Seychelles du Hautpas.

Do you know this lady
and do you remember giving her this gift?

If I know Lucette?
You're kidding, Your Honor.

I said she'd go far.

So well done, Baroness.

I'm proud to say, hats off to you, kid.

Oh, Mr. Charles...

He's right. We followed your ascent in
the papers. We're awfully proud of you.

Madame Pauline, feel how soft this is.

Oh, my.

Money sure is something.

Oh, the money... If I told you
that there are days when I'm bored,

- days when I regret everything.
- Oh please. You're just saying that.

What kind of dog is that?

A chihuahua.

It's Mexican.

It cost as much as a racehorse.

- What's its name?
- Margaret.

A real princess!

Ladies, ladies! Please be quiet.

Well, this eulogy of Madame du Hautpas
will be enough for us.

Can you now talk to us

about this lantern?

Specify the circumstances

of your donation.

I shouldn't have come,

it brings back such sad memories.

I gave the lantern to Lucette.
Sorry, Your Honor, I mean the Baroness.

And I don't regret it
because no one deserved it more than her.

But...

describing the circumstances to you,
Your Honor, that's...

it brings back all the suffering.

Was he in the French resistance?

Well?

25 years of hard work, Your Honor.

Day and night, trapped between four walls.

Always on the go with
an eye on everything.

Hoping for a peaceful retirement,
and then, with the stroke of a pen,

they shut down the house.

And what happens to a man on the street?
He becomes prey.

The hyenas start circling.

Between the jackals of the Stock Exchange,
real estate vultures

and the investment sharks,
they all come swarming!

You can see the carnage from here,
Your Honor.

You're on the ground, trampled on,
finished off. Even if

you're ready to fight.

But what about the ladies?

My poor lady.

She started to mummify, Your Honor.

Day after day, she turned into a mummy.

A sorrow worse than cancer.

Is ma'am dying?

Ma'am is dead!

They're cultured.

Ma'am is dead. You girls knew here.

You know she didn't deserve that!

They killed my queen.

Poor thing...

She was so full of life,

so kind... A real dame.

I can't believe he stole my lantern!

He should be guillotined!

Guillotine me?
What does she think this is?

Calm down, calm down.

Stop pushing me, counselor!

She's not talking about your head,
she's talking about me!

Come on, come on! Let's get back.

- Labergerie...
- Mr. Labergerie.

Your client's on the stand.

I don't know why.

I don't have to be here to talk about
a lantern I've never seen.

Mr. Labergerie,

can you tell me how
you met the plaintiff? And especially,

given your admiration for him,

which you expressed earlier

of your own accord,

what the exact nature
of your relationship was?

Oh! The boor!

He's shaky.

Can I answer him?

I would if I were you.

I have always advocated
respect and demanded good manners.

- Ah...
- So I'm warning you,

you say anything out of line to a lady,
and I'll

wipe that smile off your face.

You'll see that Charles still has it.

Bravo!

Silence! This isn't a circus!

Go sit down.

We'll hear you later, if we need to.

- Mr. Charles, it's nice to see you again!
- Where is the dog?

The little dog that was here.

- You haven't seen it?
- There she is, your little princess.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you so much, sir.

Officer! Bring in
the plaintiff's second witness.

Who could the second witness be?

A second witness? Couldn't you
prevent that?

- Your Honor?
- Your Honor, he'd like to...

- Can't I have another lawyer...
- No!

Marcel... What did they do to him?

Oh, that's a shame.

A man like him...

- Oh, Mr. Marcel...
- Oh my...

Your name is Froment Marcel,

born in Paris, 20th district, in 1915.

Profession?

Business promoter.

Is that what you call it?

I see what it is, Your Honor.

You believe in slander, too.

Well, I'm checking your criminal record,

and there are three convictions
for pimping,

practicing that profession.

You're serving time
for the last conviction,

18 months in Poissy prison. There.

The address is correct, Your Honor,

but for the rest, there's confusion

around my activity, and I repeat,

my profession is business promoter.

Yes, well. Since your testimony
is essential to establishing the truth,

I have summoned you as a witness

at my discretion.

You were aware of certain facts.

Tell them to the court.

No, no, no.

Deprived of the exercise of the rights
provided by article 42 of the penal code,

you do not have the right to take an oath.

A man like that, straight as a die,
not allowed to swear...

What is the world coming to...

Yes, well, oath or no oath,
the absolute truth,

is that custom knitting at home,
is an honest business.

Custom knitting at home?
What are you talking about?

Let me explain:

let's suppose, Your Honor,
that your colleagues want a sweater,

well, they'll never
find their size in a shop.

One will have sleeves too short,
another will have them too long.

Well, I had a solution to that,
Your Honor.

A phone call to Custom Knitting At Home
and a talented knitter,

with impeccable looks,
which I insisted on,

would arrive in less than half an hour

and spend the day making the item.

Into the night, if necessary.

Yes... The court hears your peculiar

ideas of home working.

Mrs. du Hautpas,

will you approach the bench, please?

Go ahead.

Thank you.

Yes.

You're right.

You've named her well.

Ma'am,

please face the witness.

Tell us if this is the Froment Marcel

whose testimony you wanted to hear.

Which, in all honesty, surprises me.

Do you recognize him?

I don't recognize him,
I've never seen him.

How... how... You call to witness

a person you've never met?

Oh, sorry. Mr. Marcel has a reputation.

He's renowned.

Really?

Didn't you know about his house in Toulon?

I'm afraid not.

Was it good?

Exemplary.

Stylish furniture, some rare items.

People came from all over the world
to visit his salon.

From Australia, New Zealand,

even Reims,

where they had their own Oriental Palace.

A jewel, Your Honor.

With a French park, a green theater.

Just like Le Trianon.

Do you remember the party
for the opening night?

The whole squadron under the canopy.

Admirals in plain clothes.

And my girls in sailor costumes.

And a whole variety show, Your Honor.

Completely mimed scenes.

Daphnis and Chloé, Adam and Eve in Heaven,
The Ladies of Loth.

Biblical and funny.

And very artistic, Your Honor.

Tell me, Froment,

was the name of this
charming provincial conservatory,

which was the scene of
the inaugural celebration,

le Grand Tivoli, by any chance?

That's right! Isn't it wonderful?

Your Honor,

I regret to inform you that Froment,

with the jury as witnesses,

is describing a brothel: prostitution.

Prostitution!

There he goes again, that's hogwash.

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

You must have been young
when we shut down.

Isn't that right, Your Honor?

Maybe he was even a virgin.

It's possible. How old were you, Valentin?

I was 18, Your Honor.

Ah! What did I say?

Your Honor, I was 25 and
a real ladies' man.

I was past all that by then.

How old were you, kid?

Oh, I was a student corporal back then.

To listen to you all you'd think
there were only kids around.

Your Honor! Your Honor!

Order! Order! Ma'am,

please don't force me to remind you
what happens for contempt of court.

I'm not holding anyone in contempt.

I'm just telling your kid
not to talk about getting laid.

Order! Silence.

Mrs. du Hautpas, please,
let's stay focus on the case.

We're talking about a lantern.
I must admit, I'm astonished

that someone stole hundreds of millions
in jewelry,

and you're only worried about the lantern.

But that lantern, Your Honor,

that lantern represents my youth.

Ma'am, that's a noble sentiment,
but really...

What about me in all this?

I'm going to end up in the can!

I'll get beaten up in Poissy prison.

- Thief!
- He should be in the criminal court!

Order in the court!

I may be repeating myself,

but the baroness is going a bit overboard
for a two-bit lantern,

that'll end up on a dump
in the countryside.

Hearing postponed until
a week from today! Officer!

Empty the court!

Why a week? Why are we leaving?

They've been taken for a ride, and they

don't know how to get out of it.

Empty the court!

It's a disgrace!

- Your Honor?
- Madam.

I'm so sorry
to have disturbed the calm of the debates,

to have been lacking
in the most basic deference,

but the liveliness of the Hautpas
is well known.

What can I do? I can't help it!

I can't stand basements.

What's going on?

Mrs. du Hautpas says
she can't stand basements.

How did it go, dear lady?

Wonderfully well, darling.

We do not yet know
Archibald Gordon from Texas.

But he's a man worth knowing.

Tin mines, copper mines,

oil fleets,
and various secondary activities

that are too long to go into,

but it would be surprising if Lucette,

who was now called Dorothy,

hadn't heard talk of them.

HOW TO KEEP THE RED LAMP BURNING

HOW A GOOD DEED TURNED A GLOOMY HOME

INTO A CHEERFUL SOCIAL LIFE.
HOW A HOUSE FULL OF FRIENDS

IS A BLESSING FROM THE GODS.

LOW SLANDER...

THE LIGHT BURSTS OUT,
ILLUMINATING THE TRIUMPH OF A PURE HEART.

This story could only happen
in a small French town.

In the last census,

our town had 7,836 inhabitants,

which is a sign of moderation

and therefore, good taste.

It has a community center,

an avenue named after Jean Jaurès,

a girls' high school,

a boulevard named for the liberation,

a notorious cuckold, Mr. Martin,

a president of the Red Cross, Mrs. Martin,

a 13th century church, which
tourist guides say is worth a visit,

and a gymnasium,
the headquarters of the Athletic Club.

This is where these gentlemen meet
once a week,

to practice judo,

a Japanese means of staying young.

Quite a session.

I lost at least 28 ounces.

That must be what you got in your biceps
or the pecs, because the rest of you...

Alright, alright.

I lost seven pounds.

No, five, five. Not quite.

I mean, three, or two. Over one.

I don't know exactly. It's not scientific.

That's enough. How much did you put on?

Three and a half ounces.

Eleven ounces.

How much did you put on?

I put on 17 ounces.

What a liar, huh?

And how's your...

Yeah, it's growing back. Look.

- No.
- Yeah. It's like down.

Like a little fuzz. Look.

- No, no.
- Wait.

I put on egg white.

I wash my hair in egg yolk

and mink oil,

and it still falls out, but not so fast.

I heard they have injections in the US.

It grows back within six months.
And the color you want, too.

It's good.

In America.

Hey, Leon, we still
good for yours tomorrow?

Yes. But you don't arrive at 10 a.m.,
because I'm out of there at 8:29 am.

I don't understand your
obsession with time.

But accuracy is the only way to get there.

- To get there on time, at least.
- Right, right.

This wisdom and this originality

is just what Mr. Haudepin is like.

Mr. Haudepin is a self-made man.
They say he's smart.

An insurance broker,

single, a fan of crosswords,

a coin collector and patriot,
Mr. Haudepin is a real character.

Our police force, which is fine,

was out patrolling

because there was a conference
about juvenile delinquents

organized by the PTA.

Sir, sir, please say that I'm with you!

- Who should I tell?
- The cops.

Let me go! What do you want, Miss?

My name is Héloïse.

Why should I care?

There. Tell them we're together.

What, Miss? Who are you? Huh?

A killer on the run? A thief?

No, a hooker.

- You're not?
- I am.

You're working the streets and soliciting!

I'll take care of this, Mr. Haudepin.
You're going to the can!

Nothing worse than this vermin
on the streets, Mr. Haudepin.

Yes there is!

I hate rude cops!

I'm just doing my job, Mr. Haudepin.

Then do it politely!

I mean, really. Tell me, Inspector Grannu,

did you forget you were moved
from telecoms for bad language?

And you couldn't even
get in to border controls?

Yeah, well, I...

Because of the test.
There was a dictation, so...

Not even border control.

The lady is with me. That's enough, now!

Well, I apologize, Mr. Haudepin.
Have a good evening.

What... what's that supposed to mean?
Stand down!

Are you going from rude to salacious?

To sale what?

To sa... Never mind. Get out of here!

There you go.

Oh sir, that's wonderful,
I don't know how to thank you.

Yes, listen, we're not gonna...
So, miss...

He's following us!

He's going to get an atemi,
a hip thrust and

some blows on the floor
because I'm a blue belt!

That must look lovely with your gray eyes.

Listen, miss, if you want,
I'll walk you to your door.

I don't have one!
I got here from Paris this morning,

all the hotels are full
because of the conference.

- Are you married?
- I'm afraid not.

So take me home! Just for five minutes.
He'll think I'm staying and he'll leave.

But I don't want him to think that!

Listen miss, I have a reputation to uphold

and that's why, regretfully, Miss Héloïse,

- Marie's my real name.
- Well, Marie...

Marie Truchet.
Héloïse is my pseudonym, it's better

Listen, no means no! That's all!

You should have just let him
arrest me, if this is where we're at.

He'll be even worse, now.

No, look, when I said no, it's...

Come on, come in.

The rot had set in.

Daddy drank.

Mommy drank. They fought badly.

You can't imagine what a nightmare
it was at home.

I've read Zola.

In 1943,

Daddy was shot by the Germans.

He went AWOL from the army.

Oh, well, that's...

In 1945, mom was thrown in jail.

I had to raise
my three brothers by myself.

I was 12 and I started to
spend time with men.

Oh dear...

I don't know if your Mr. Zola
talks about that?

Not very much, but Eugène Sue does, a lot.

Never mind. Carry on.

An unfortunate affair.

A broken heart.

The doll discarded.

And then the slippery slope.

The act itself.

I improvised a bit
until the day I met Marcello.

Ah, he was a perfectionist,
he made me do classes.

The Oriental Palace in Brest,

The Flower Basket in Toulon,

then La Madeleine.

Oh dear... No, go away, you.

No, go away, we're not going... Go away.

If I had my health, right now,
I might be on the Champs-Élysées.

But it was snowing one night,

and I was doing my walks
in front of a restaurant,

Yes, wait. A young man came out

and shoved a snowball down your back

and you got a chest infection.

How did you know?

Victor Hugo.

Germaine, the fruit!

I thought you'd finished,
since you're smoking.

Oh please!

- What next?
- So, Marcello,

who doesn't like weakness, swapped
me with Gadeon for a girl from Brittany.

Yeah. And it was Gadeon who sent me
here because of the conference.

So. Well,
it only remains for me to thank you.

You were awfully nice.

I'm going to the station to see
when the first train is.

And where will you sleep?

I don't know, in the waiting room.

- Wearing that?
- Of course.

- You call that a coat?
- Well, sure.

- No, but I wouldn't...
- No, be quiet!

- But I...
- No... Germaine?

Prepare the purple room.

- Madame's room?
- Yes that's right.

- Never!
- Ah, she annoys me, she annoys me...

I thought you weren't married?

- What do you mean?
- Well, she said Madame's room.

Oh no, I... I have to tell you,
it's my mother's room.

It's too much, sir, I wouldn't dare.

And yet she dared.

Héloïse slept alone that night,

something she hadn't done
for a very long time.

She felt, for Mr. Haudepin,

a devoted admiration,

for his exceptional strength of character

which was, in reality,
just an exclusive taste

for plump little brunettes.

One, two, three, four...

One, two,

three and four.

One, two, three, four.

Mr. Haudepin gets up every morning
at 7:30 a.m.

to be at his desk

at 8.45 a.m. sharp.

He's done this for 25 years.

One, two, three, four.

Bless you.

Say, if I let you leave...

Letting you leave, my dear, would be
tantamount to contaminating the town,

spreading an epidemic.

Oh. Here, breathe, breathe.

The flu... No, but let me talk.
Let me speak.

When you have the flu,
you have to act like the Spanish.

No, no! Wait, I'm not done.
No, no, I'm not done.

Let me speak.

...to embrace tragedy. Go ahead.

So, poultice, hot water bottle

until further notice. Yes! That's all!

Fine, Mr. Haudepin.

Sir has lost his head.

The creature's worming her way in.

It's either her or me!

That's a man,

a real one.

There's two sides to every coin,

authority often leads
to this kind of isolation,

which leads emperors to rocks

and bachelors to kitchens.

Coffee.

But what are you doing here?

- You told me to come before half past.
- Oh yeah, that's true.

- What are you doing?
- Coffee.

Coffee? Where did Germaine go?

- I chucked her out!
- What?

I chucked her out!

And I wouldn't wish what happened to me
on my worst enemy!

A perfect housekeeper.

- Perfect, yes.
- Too perfect!

- On Sundays, roast beef.
- That's good.

Meatballs on Monday, croquettes
on Tuesday, and veal on Wednesday.

- You don't like veal?
- No, I don't.

- So on Thursday...
- I like veal.

- I could eat it at every meal.
- Whatever.

- You used to like it.
- Well, now I don't!

Perfect people are pain in the ass!

Well, now...

Miss.

Sir.

Bless you.

Mr. Paul Arnaud.

Miss Héloïse...
What are you doing out of bed?

I was thirsty.

It's the fever.

I came down to get a glass of water.
I'll help you make your coffee.

- No, no!
- Oh, yes, yes, be nice, I want to!

No, never!

Really!

There you go...

So there, I don't see why you told me
that story about your old maid

instead of just telling me

that you'd found a younger one.

No, no, no... Enough, okay? That's enough!

I hate innuendos and salacious remarks!
Especially in the morning!

She's from a good family.

Where did you find her?

In the street.

- That's right.
- I...

No, I was coming home last night,
minding my own business...

...and...

and she came along, and said, "Sir..."

then a man with a hat...

What could I say?

Let's talk about sports.
Have you drawn up the club's statutes?

- The vote's tomorrow night.
- Oh, for God's sake!

- Oh, Mr. Leon! You're cursing.
- Oh, for God's sake...

Oh no, I just chucked Germaine out...

No, I mean, my faithful servant,
Germaine, had to leave

to be with her mother,
who's at death's door.

And tomorrow I have the Club
dinner and eight mouths to feed!

- Thanks!
- But no one to serve.

Well, you've got me!

- She's nice.
- She's quite charming.

You can't imagine the work involved
to cook a meal and serve alone.

A meal for eight people.

Why, all alone?
I can get help, right?

The help was called Sophie.

Her life had been even more miserable
than Héloïse's.

But this had in no way
altered her character, which remained

eminently sociable.

Oh, you haven't finished your champers?

Oh sorry. Excuse me...

- To your health.
- Thank you.

- To your health.
- Thank you.

- Sorry, sorry.
- That's nothing.

It brings good luck.

Oh, great. But yes.

A little drop? Here.

Ah, Mr. Leproux, here you are at last!

Your damned porch. I almost killed
myself again! Can't see a thing!

Here, this'll make you feel better.

Oh, my goodness!

Gentlemen, dinner is served!

Mr. Leon is served.

- Bon appétit, everyone.
- Thank you.

Miss Héloïse, this young lady
is very spontaneous.

Yes.

Are you sure she's already served?

Oh, very much so.

Alright, gentlemen,
if you would like to take a seat.

Mr. General Counsel
to my right, doctor, to my left.

No, Boudu, no, no...

Controller, there.

Mr. Leproux. No, Boudu!

Mr. Leproux, there.

No, Boudu, no! There, there!

There. Paul, you, opposite.

Gentlemen, let's get down to business.

You have given me your confidence.

You asked me to provide
the statutes of our association,

- Here they are.
- Ah!

Article One:

The Athletic Club is a nonprofit
sports association...

Start over there, Miss. Oh, my.

...member of the national federation
of sports.

ArticleTwo:

a president-treasurer will be elected
for one year

by an absolute majority.

Very good. Bravo.

It's good. Good, good, good...

Article Three:

the annual subscription will be fixed
according to a common agreement.

- Boudu!
- What is it?

I feel like you're not listening to me.

I am, I am.

I feel like... I don't know.

Article Four: the association will
invest in real estate transactions

to provide the town with
modern facilities. Paul!

Of course, so there... Of course, it's...

We will sell the land
to buy a bigger one.

He's not listening to me.

- And you weren't listening to me either.
- I was.

Will you listen to me!

Be good sports, listen when I'm talking!

Don't forget the capital gain, of course.

The other land was
acquired five years ago.

Miss, listen...

Go behind, serve the gentleman. And you...

That's twice now!

In this situation, the capital gain...
No, look at me. Please!

There. In this situa... Look at me!

So, the capital gain
is not exactly equal to

the difference between the selling price
and the price covered by membership.

Here.

But it must be clear for everyone, that

the old land, limited to the north

by the local road,

bordered to the south by the railway,

bordered to the east by a public road,

and bordered to the west by a property,

was not purchased

with speculative intent...

Our association is not profit-based.

Anyway, speculation would be risky.

In fact,

the purchase price...

...at the risk of acquisition costs,

including stamp duty,
registration fees

VAT, notary fees,

advertising costs...
No one's listening to me.

I might as well be talking to myself.

Fire!

Boudu, what did I just say there?
Come on, quick!

Alright, sit down!

Listen to me!

The presence of each member

is required except
in cases of force majeure.

No, attendance isn't mandatory.

- Yes.
- Oh yes! Naturally.

I prefer "mandatory".

And the fees should be set.

Yes! Good God, yes!
They will have to be set.

Is there any objection?

A suggestion, if I may.

A monthly meeting doesn't seem
enough, when it comes to

medical supervision.

Yes.

Why not decide on a meeting...

- that takes place weekly?
- Wait, now.

I think that's a good idea.

Twice a week seems reasonable.

What's more,

if... I don't know what you think,

I would propose,

if Mr. Haudepin agrees...

Yes, yes, what?

That all the meetings take place here.

The climate is healthier,

and it's very friendly here.

The atmosphere is wonderful!

Listen, I don't know.
The Brasserie du Globe d'Or

had the advantage of being
close to the club,

- it was convenient.
- No.

I don't think so.

If you want us to slip into alcoholism.

Jocks at the bistro.

The kids would judge us.

I can provide you with statistics
on the ravages of vermouth!

That's Verdun.

Listen, I'll think about it.

In the meantime, with a show of hands

can we elect our president-treasurer?

- If you want.
- Who?

I say Leon Haudepin.

- Bravo!
- Very good!

- No!
- Yes!

- No!
- Yes!

- Is this a joke?
- No!

- The most qualified.
- Look, it's huge.

- How can I thank you?
- Oh, please.

But I didn't expect this friendship,
this trust,

this brotherly spirit...

I'm speechless.

I don't believe it.

This surprise was to be the first
of a quite entertaining series.

In truth,

the heretofore sporting existence
of Leon Haudepin

would become a fairy tale.

9 a.m!

Sophie! Come on, Sophie!

Come on, Sophie, get up!

Hurry up, this is your fault!

Come on...

I can't believe this!

Don't come in!

Wait, wait... What...
Come in!

Excuse me, Mr. Leon,

but I didn't hear the alarm clock.

That's no excuse! Don't bother
apologizing!

Come on, get a move on!

9.07!

Do you realize?
23 fire prevention employees,

who looked up to me, who could
set their watches by me,

like Greenwich,

will think I'm a lazy, unreliable...

- Your breakfast.
- No, I don't have time.

Here.

Oh... How pretty.

Sophie picked it for you.

That's why we're late.

You're so kind.

Of course we're kind.

We are.

Shall I get your coffee?

- A bit of milk?
- Yes. A drop, a drop...

- There... Ah!
- That's all.

- How many sugars? Three or four?
- No, one, one.

Do you want butter or jam on your cracker?

- Come on, you two!
- Ah no, ah no...

- Ah, yes!
- Okay, go on...

- Butter...
- Look at that.

- Some jam.
- Oh, yes...

- There.
- There.

- Wait, wait...
- There.

No no! Slowly, slowly... There you go.

That's enough.

Bless you.

- Miss...
- What are you doing here?

Well, last night,

I forgot my hat.

Yes, well, go get it, because
I'm in a hurry, I'm late.

Oh, I wanted to ask you... Say,

have you ever had breakfast in bed?

Great, it's great!

Mr. Haudepin would soon

make a second discovery.

Oh, look at the time.

There.

I'm a bit late.

I was in a meeting with Mr. Gobert.

Oh, yes, he just left.

Oh, no, it's not the same one.
It was Gobert the younger.

And why so many questions, anyway?

The Maestras file?

- Posted this morning, sir.
- Alright. The Blanchet file?

- Everything is in order.
- Good. Donnadieu?

Settled by phone.

Well... in short, everything is fine?

Perfectly well, sir.

Yes, well, well...

Mr. Haudepin had just discovered
that you can arrive late at the office

without the Earth stopping.

He could have discovered other things,
that day,

but he wasn't the malicious type.

- Bless you.
- Thanks.

- You found it?
- What?

Your hat! Did you find it?

Yes... it was there.

Paul stayed for dinner that evening.

Héloïse and Sophie passed from the office

to the dining room with enthusiasm
and cohesion

which are the basis of team sports.

Ah well...

There.

The next day, Mr. Haudepin
had breakfast at 10 a.m.

"And Paul was going to break up.

"She panicked for nothing".

"He died..." Hey!

"He died for nothing.

This thought upset him more

"than the innocence of Genevieve.
He hates..."

You know, block eyes,

pearly skin. And sensuality...

Oh my...

Hello? This is Judge Hardouin.

What? Is this Leon? It's Leon. Oh...

How are you? Good.

Ah well, thank you, yes, that's fine. But...

Ah, it's like a hospital here.

My wife and my maid are sick in bed.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to ask you this, but...

but could we do dinner tomorrow at
your house?

Oh, that's very kind!

9 p.m. sharp! Don't worry, I'll be there.

Mr. Leon, careful.

There are a lot of people in the
Athletic Club.

Sophie only wants to help.

Oh, for that, no problem.

There's no one kinder.

Mr. Paul, every night, okay,

the judge, now and again,

it's not the end of the world,

but with the old ones coming back
and the new ones arriving,

it's getting tricky.

You've gotta be healthy.

Listen, Miss Héloïse,
what do you want me to do about it?

Well, that's just it!

I have a girlfriend who doesn't worry
about health issues.

There's a reason.

Her parents were killed in the siege
at Madrid,

and her brother was shot at Zaragoza!

André Malraux.

She should still come.

The formalization of the Haudepin home
as the official seat

of the Athletic Club was, in its sobriety,
quite moving.

The new assistant was called Carmen

and it looked like she would fit in
quite easily.

To the health of our president-treasurer!

To me!

Here.

- What's this?
- Oh, it's a trinket.

- You shouldn't have.
- It's nothing. I've been here for a week.

Oh!

This is too much!

Sophie and Héloïse chose it, I...

Do you like it?

That's not all. Come see.

Oh, no! Close your eyes!

Come here.

I'll count to three, then you can
open them.

One, two, three!

Oh, no! I'm going to get mad, now!

But who paid for this? Not me, I hope?

These gentlemen.

Club subs!

Additional costs, quite ordinary.

Have another one.

- Oh yeah, that's true.
- Here, come and see.

And it's filled!

There, Mr. Paul's champagne,

the judge's anisette.

And who's this for? Huh?

Who's this for?

For who?

For Leon.

Oh, my dear friends, gentlemen,

I don't know...
I don't know how to thank you.

Let me go! You fool! Imbecile!

Let me go!

Where is that jailbird?

- It's Gadeon!
- So?

Who's running the show? Who is it?

- What's happening?
- I asked who's running the show.

Leon Louis Marie Haudepin.
To whom am I speaking?

Stay there, you!

Oh!

I'm her man.

- You were!
- What?

Now you're nothing but a wretch,
a trestle, a brute!

Worse, sir, an ill-bred!

Oh... you watch your tongue,
you fake nobleman.

- I'll smash your face in!
- What?

That's what I came for!

I forbid you to touch Mr. Leon!
Not a hair!

No... No, no, no!

What? First,

for taking my chick for a week.

- Second...
- Your Honor!

Don't you think you should put an end

to the daydreams of this fool?

Surely the law protects us
against such people.

You're kidding! Perfect!

Speaker, negotiator, diplomat...

I'll get you all!

When I can't build, I destroy.

I'll burn this place down,
just you wait and see!

I'll burn your brothel down!

What? My brothel?

My brothel?

The generous heart of Mr. Haudepin

seemed to have burst
under the slanderous appellation.

Hello? This is Judge Hardouin.

Pass me the police chief.

Hello, captain?

Five minutes later,

the odious pimp was arrested,

questioned the same evening,

judged the following month and,

based on his criminal record,

sentenced to 20 years.

The law is the law.

- No...
- Ah!

- It isn't a brothel, is it?
- No, no!

It's not a brothel,
it looks like a brothel.

Ow! No, but it's... No.

Oh no, oh no, not that!

- Is this a brothel?
- No.

As for Mr. Haudepin,

he was condemned to two months in bed,

the doctor having diagnosed

viral hepatitis,
complicated by a slight meningeal flare.

It's him. Eh?

- Is he a pimp?
- No, he's the doctor.

He's a pimp! He looks like a pimp!

During these two months,

the loyalty of Mr. Haudepin's friends
was simply tireless.

They were there every night

to wait for health updates.

- So?
- Well, gentlemen, tonight,

we only have 100 degrees.

Some did not hesitate

to undertake exhausting guard duty,

that lasted until dawn.

Boudu, out. Well?

Get out.

These ladies were, of course,

worthy of praise.

Héloïse was a mother,

Sophie, a sister,

Carmen, a nurse...

Who's this for?

Oh no. I don't want that.

...well, my God, this person showed

such an impulsive character

that it was decided that she would stay,
come what may,

at the Athletic Club, as a medic.

Eight. Me!

- Me!
- Wait a second.

- Thirty five...
- Me!

M. Leon went into convalescence
on May 15th.

Miss Lili, masseuse, a friend of Héloïse,

was also hired.

Harder!

Harder. Harder.

She was charged with bringing back
the muscles of the former athlete.

and increasing flexibility and movement.

There.

Listen, don't stroke, miss,
massage! Massage, that's it.

Massage. Inhale, massage.

Inhale, massage. There.

Relax, relax, relax.

No, she's stroking me.

The epidemic form
being symptomatic of modern diseases,

the newcomer had the opportunity
to relieve many miseries.

As hostesses of the Athletic Club

they had days without problems
and nights without surprises,

when suddenly,

towards the end of July,

Mr. Leon made a crazy decision.

What is it?

What if I went back to the office?

You wanna die?

Just to see.

No, no, no.

However, the month of August
saw some of his strength come back

and from September, Mr. Haudepin,
decidedly indomitable,

plunged back into the whirlwind
of business.

- Mr. Bedouc, paid?
- Yes, he paid.

- Mr. Lecuq?
- Not yet.

- I'll have to go back then?
- Oh no, no!

He prefers to come himself. It will give
him the opportunity to chat with you.

Oh, that's kind.

- Tell me, how is everything?
- Everything's good.

- No one's asked for me?
- Oh yes, yes, everyone misses you.

Good. Goodbye, sir.

Don't worry, I'll take care of everything.

Tell me, José, what day is it?

The second, sir.

The day before yesterday was the 31st.

- Yes yes.
- Haven't you forgotten something?

- My fees.
- Sorry?

My fees. My check!

You were supposed to come
the day before yesterday!

I want my check on the 30th!

Oh... Look. Look, I'm sweaty.

- No, no, no, you're less sweaty. Come on.
- Am I less sweaty?

The slightest activity

was too much for him.

- Yes thanks.
- Better? How are you?

Condemned to dilettantism,

Mr. Haudepin plunged boldly into it,

taking the destiny of the Athletic Club
into his hands.

Your tea, sir.

Leave it there, sweetie.

Turn the table.

My yogurt?

I forgot to buy it.

It doesn't matter.

No!

Mr. Leon has been
on antibiotics for two months.

He must build his intestinal flora.
For that, you need yogurt! Come on.

No, no... Come on, come on!

She's so kind, she works so hard.

- What's the matter?
- It's got skin.

Oh...

Oh, how pretty.

It's a gift from the doctor.

- Ah, the doctor... What a good friend.
- Yes yes.

That too?

Oh, no, that's the judge.

Another good friend.

My how wonderful.

Well? Still eating?

Oh, poor me.

He's being picky.

Ah, nevertheless, my old man,
you look better.

Look at this. Beautiful, isn't it?

- Oh, he's cute!
- I brought you a little friend.

Ah, you all spoil me. Too much.

I don't deserve it.

Dumb illness.

Say hi to the gentleman.

Big eyes, like that.

And on October 1st,

Mr. Leon decided,

facing his fears,

to take a walk for the first time.

I bought it for you specially.

Your first outing is an occasion.

Wasn't there a darker shade?

It's a mid-season shade.

That's true.

Spurred on by Miss Héloïse

and thanks to a constant growth
in subscriptions,

it was in a renovated setting

on Christmas Eve,

that the extended sporting family

gathered to celebrated the most
familial of feasts.

Ladies, hurry up, Mr. Leon is coming.

Héloïse, Sophie,

Carmen, Miss Jade,

Lili and Loanne

had the last presents.

Smile!

Thank you, ladies!

Gentlemen!

It was at the height of this happiness,

this moment of complete harmony,
that a drama erupted.

- Ah!
- Thank you, gentlemen. Well done!

I was at the Brasserie du Globe d'Or.
You know what they're saying in town?

- That's nice!
- Leon, careful, you're going to relapse!

What's the matter?

They're saying I live like a fat cat,
that I'm frittering away my money.

It seems, ladies that you
keep your lights on

until the early hours of the morning,

and some of you are playing at
making shadow puppets!

What do you think that looks like?
Tell me.

How does it make me look?

Apparently, at times there are
11 windows lit up.

Why? I'll tell you why.

Because none of you close the shutters.

From now on, you close
all the shutters of this house.

Okay!

You just want them closed, right?

Don't laugh?

If you never open them, you won't
forget the shut them.

- Well, now!
- How amusing!

Here's the surprise! Look!

Oh...

I almost killed myself!

Oh, his damn porch. Can't see a thing.
And with the snow...

Happy Christmas.

You think it's funny?

- He thinks it's funny.
- Because I also

have a surprise.

Paul, get me the ladder.

Miss Héloïse, help me.

What is this? Ha ha!

- What is it?
- A ham.

- Oysters?
- No!

Well?

Oh, I see, I see!

Come on!

Come on!

Wait, wait...

Ha ha! There, that's better!

- Thanks.
- Yes, now,

everything was clear.

THE END

Subtitle translation by: Jane Caldas