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Credit where credit's due.
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This is the greatest
game of hide and seek
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00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,304
you've ever played, Roger.
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"To: Francine"?
5
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,346
"Can I see your boobies
in fourth period?
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00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,080
Circle Y or N?"
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She circled N,
but I can see where she circled Y
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and erased it!
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These are all old love notes.
Why is Francine saving these?
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Aha!
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Hiding in plain sight
as one of your personas.
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00:00:27,962 --> 00:00:30,228
I got you, Roger! Ow!
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Focus, Stan.
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You know the difference between
Roger and a real spider.
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Roger?!
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00:00:40,075 --> 00:00:42,975
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
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♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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Aah!
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00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:07,532
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:12,937
♪ It's the shaving song,
we're in the leg zone ♪
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00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:15,874
♪ Where the tibia
meets the talus bone ♪
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00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,811
♪ No need for cream,
that stuff's for chumps ♪
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00:01:18,813 --> 00:01:21,213
♪ Press the blade down hard and... ♪
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Shaving your gams for Corey D?
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Who's Corey D?
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From third grade.
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He thinks "you're Berry cool."
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You went through my stuff?
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I was looking for Roger.
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You haven't found him yet?
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- He's in the...
- Don't tell me where he is!
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00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,428
What I did find is this shoebox
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filled with love letters to my wife!
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Are you threatened by these?
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They're just momentos I save
so our grandkids'll know
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00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,570
mee-maw was a smoke-show.
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There is a world where
I could be overreacting.
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00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:50,843
Promise me you'll put those letters back
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and stop worrying about them.
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Of course, my love.
This is the end of it.
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Your mother and I are getting a divorce.
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- What?!
- Unless...
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00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:02,787
we determine none of these
old paramours are threats.
48
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,924
Your mother's been saving old
love letters behind my back.
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00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:07,992
I've assembled this
command center at we work
50
00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:10,395
as a last-ditch effort
to save our marriage.
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Maybe she just likes to
look back at memories.
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That's what she told me,
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but until we comb through every word,
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I have to assume the worst.
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I already have the
divorce papers written up.
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I'm gonna pin them here to motivate you.
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We're on it, Dad!
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If we suss out that any
of these losers are still
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00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,947
after our mom, they're freaking dead!
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Yeah. Sorry, "Tony," but my mom
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doesn't care that you think her hair is
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"shinier than the sun."
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You better back the freak off!
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00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:38,957
Yeah! And listen to this clown.
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"Francine,
let me swim around in your mouth..."
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00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:44,963
Oh, this is from me when
I was obsessed with her.
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And I can freaking shove off already!
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00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:49,968
- What is it, Jeff?
- It's...
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00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:51,703
It's over, Mr. S!
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00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:55,974
This man writes beautiful
poetry to Mrs. S.
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These words make my heart
freaking pitter-patter!
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"Francine, your skin
as soft as oleander petals..."
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00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:05,717
"...weeping willows..."
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00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,254
"...gentle breeze upon the Nile."
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00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,323
- Oh!
- It's so good.
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00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:12,991
And, look, there's more of them!
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This guy's been writing these for years!
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Who wrote this gorgeous crap?
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It's anonymous.
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C.I.A.? It's one of my coworkers?
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00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:26,238
You know what you have to do, Dad.
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00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:30,743
I have to go to the C.I.A.
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00:03:30,745 --> 00:03:33,011
and find out who's best at poems, right?
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And then rip out their freaking throat!
85
00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:42,087
The drug lord Eisenrich has been...
86
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:46,158
Dr. Weitzman, why are you
sleeping in our conference room?
87
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,293
I got dumped, and my girlfriend
88
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:49,761
got my apartment in the breakup.
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00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,297
I should have known that
contract she gave me
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00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:54,700
on our first date wasn't
just for "funsies"!
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00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,169
Don't get me started
on funsies contracts.
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00:03:57,171 --> 00:04:01,306
That's how I got saddled with my
ex's alligator farm in Orlando.
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00:04:02,005 --> 00:04:05,377
Ohh, I should go work on my lab stuff.
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00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,845
As I was saying,
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00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:09,247
we finally located
the drug lord, Eisenrich.
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00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,782
He's in the jungles of Brazil.
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00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,984
Shoot. I was hoping Orlando.
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00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:16,321
Sir, sounds like you'll need
an agent with poetic prowess.
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00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:17,990
Allow me to test the agents.
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00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,858
I don't see how poetry can...
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00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,127
Dick, perform a haiku about Brazil.
102
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,662
Brazil is a nut.
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00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:27,399
I have two brazils in my pants.
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00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:30,869
Terrible.
Jackson, describe this painting.
105
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,137
Orlando!
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00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:33,671
Let's try something different.
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00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:36,141
Would you describe my wife's breasts as,
108
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,344
A, large; B, medium;
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or, C, a tonic which could heal
all that ails the human spirit?
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00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:46,084
I'm gonna say D, cool!
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00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,419
How about I print these
112
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:48,887
and let you all fill
them out individually?
113
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:51,089
The main office printer is busted.
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00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,157
You can use mine.
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I've got a poem!
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00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:56,428
Orlando is great, Orlando is fair.
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00:04:56,430 --> 00:05:00,432
Will you buy one of my "alligaytares"?
118
00:05:06,124 --> 00:05:07,505
The logo!
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00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:08,706
It's Bullock!
120
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:11,376
I can't murder my boss.
He could fire me!
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00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:13,779
Wait, wait! The poems are anonymous.
122
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:15,447
Mom doesn't know they're from Bullock,
123
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:17,515
so he can't be a threat, right?
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00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,184
Of course he's a threat!
125
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,587
Those poems are insanely romantic,
126
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:25,791
and Francine is keeping them,
which means she's into it.
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00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:29,461
One second alone with Bullock,
he mentions Robert Frost,
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00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:30,796
and the "road not taken"
129
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:33,865
definitely won't be her "bajima."
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00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,201
Maybe you could try to be more romantic
131
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:38,737
- like the poems, Mr. S.
- Let me try.
132
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:43,008
Ahem. Francine, your hair is like...
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00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,276
the noodles.
134
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:46,278
- A failure!
- We're done!
135
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,080
- Divorce!
- Which noodles?!
136
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:50,616
The only way to settle this
is to put Bullock and Francine
137
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,684
in a situation where they are alone,
138
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,687
and we see if Francine goes for it.
139
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,155
How do we get them alone?
140
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,756
- A car accident.
- Yes!
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00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:00,892
Tons of romances start when a hunky dude
142
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,894
accidentally bumps into a sexy lady.
143
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,496
There's a motel on the
side of the highway
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00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,231
that's super romantic.
145
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,700
- We can cause the accident there.
- Perfect.
146
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:12,037
I need to see them a mustache
hair's away from boning.
147
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,506
Yeah, we all do!
148
00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:18,776
Everyone in position?
149
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:21,513
Yep, we bribed
the front-desk workers $40
150
00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:22,648
to let us have an empty room.
151
00:06:22,650 --> 00:06:23,982
The rooms cost 40 a night,
152
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,917
so pretty sure you just rented a room.
153
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:28,854
There, I just lit over 200 candles.
154
00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,922
Had to raid the Halloween decorations
for 'em though,
155
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,991
so they're all little smiling pumpkins.
156
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:36,462
But it's still sexy as hell in there!
157
00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:39,264
I told Bullock there was
a dope owl he had to see,
158
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:41,266
and I told Francine the same thing.
159
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:42,600
They should be here soon.
160
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:45,270
Now for a little flat tire.
161
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,205
♪ This is the shaving song ♪
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00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,874
♪ We're in the leg zone ♪
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00:06:50,566 --> 00:06:52,277
Shit, shit!
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00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,350
♪ No need for cream ♪
165
00:06:58,352 --> 00:06:59,685
♪ That stuff's for chumps ♪
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00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:01,619
♪ Press the blade down hard and... ♪
167
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:05,090
Aaaaah!
168
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:08,994
Plan B.
169
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,766
Rose petals?!
170
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,635
No way my insurance covers this place.
171
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,839
Are you trying to get me
and Bullock to hook up?
172
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,709
I was seeing if you would
hook up if given the chance.
173
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:26,044
He's the one who writes you those poems.
174
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,245
Bullock?
175
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,581
You're the author of
those amazing poems?
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00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,984
Oh, those transcendent
poems aren't from me.
177
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,386
They're from you.
178
00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:38,990
I'll explain, but
can I please see this dope owl first?
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00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,192
Oh yeah, sure.
180
00:07:42,068 --> 00:07:43,896
- Wow!
- It is dope.
181
00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:51,203
So this is me?
182
00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:54,606
Sort of. There's a part of you in it.
183
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,943
You see, when an agent joins the C.I.A.,
184
00:07:57,945 --> 00:08:00,345
we do a lot of effed-up things
185
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:03,815
to ensure you are
successful killing machines.
186
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,752
One of those is the
irreversible operation
187
00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:09,421
of removing the romantic lobe.
188
00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:12,758
How does romance get in
the way of C.I.A. missions?
189
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,729
Romance always gets in the way.
190
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,366
"Goddess Francine,
191
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:24,570
"I must have done something
beautiful in a past life
192
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,372
to be blessed with your presence!"
193
00:08:26,374 --> 00:08:28,006
Goddess?
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00:08:28,017 --> 00:08:29,375
Okay!
195
00:08:29,377 --> 00:08:30,609
This is from me!
196
00:08:30,646 --> 00:08:33,045
It made Francine blush,
and it's from me!
197
00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:34,780
Exactamundo.
198
00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:39,184
And this espresso machine
has Dick's romantic lobe.
199
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:42,454
Espresso truly made with love.
200
00:08:42,456 --> 00:08:44,389
The mini fridge is Jackson.
201
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,458
Because he has a cold heart!
202
00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:49,995
You keep them all in
your office appliances?
203
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:53,665
Yes. The lobes act as a power source.
204
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:57,335
No need for charging,
batteries, or unseemly plugs.
205
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:58,536
Oh, sick.
206
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,407
Even sicker, the printer adores you.
207
00:09:01,409 --> 00:09:03,141
When it began printing poems,
208
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:06,478
I couldn't bear the thought
of them not being read,
209
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,680
which is why I mailed them.
210
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,148
- I'm taking this.
- Why?
211
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:13,085
Because with the printer,
we are a perfect couple.
212
00:09:13,087 --> 00:09:15,220
I have my romantic side back!
213
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,755
That's crazy.
214
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,425
We aren't bringing a printer
into our relationship.
215
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:24,429
"Francine,
allow me to take us to dinner."
216
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:26,031
A spontaneous date?
217
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,966
I guess that is kind of romantic.
218
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,269
See! Let's give it a spin, baby.
219
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:36,774
Dr. Weitzman,
are you still crying down there?
220
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,043
Yeah, sorry.
221
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:42,781
Your heart is broken,
and my printer was just stolen.
222
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:45,717
Grab your ATM card and
your tightest pants.
223
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,120
We're going on a three-day bender!
224
00:09:48,122 --> 00:09:50,856
All my pants are the tightest.
225
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:54,059
♪ La-la la-la ♪
226
00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:58,263
"Ode to Francine on the gondola of love.
227
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,599
"Though I cannot move myself,
you move me the way
228
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,601
the water moves beneath us."
229
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,004
Oh, I can't finish it.
230
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:09,741
Stan, this is beautiful.
231
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:12,077
It says it's for the gondolier.
232
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:14,612
Uh, these are-a song lyrics.
233
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,747
Sing them!
234
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:18,684
♪ Kiss her hand, rub her feet ♪
235
00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:23,355
♪ I'll create chemistry ♪
236
00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:26,224
♪ Because love can be a science ♪
237
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:30,295
♪ When you've got a
romantic appliance ♪
238
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,297
- Wait, what is this about?
- Just keep going!
239
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:37,169
♪ I'll say how to treat her right ♪
240
00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:42,040
♪ Like a dance in the moonlight ♪
241
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:44,576
♪ No need for self doubting ♪
242
00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:50,782
♪ When I'm printing how
to keep from drowning ♪
243
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:53,118
♪ With my ink and my toner ♪
244
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:57,523
♪ She'll fall straight
on your boner ♪
245
00:10:57,525 --> 00:10:58,724
Ew!
246
00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,926
♪ Romance you cannot give her ♪
247
00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:07,032
♪ Without me, your romance printer ♪
248
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:13,405
♪ Gently take her in your arms ♪
249
00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:18,810
♪ Squeeze her tight without harm ♪
250
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:21,146
♪ If I could do that to her ♪
251
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:28,086
♪ It would be me instead
of this dumb loser ♪
252
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,688
♪ I'm in no luck, I'm a cuck ♪
253
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,425
♪ Watching him give her ♪
254
00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:39,965
♪ A lame [BLEEP] ♪
255
00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:46,572
♪ Because love can be a science ♪
256
00:11:46,574 --> 00:11:56,815
♪ But she won't love
an office appliance ♪
257
00:12:00,242 --> 00:12:02,287
Roger?
258
00:12:04,058 --> 00:12:05,257
Oh, this is beautiful.
259
00:12:05,259 --> 00:12:07,059
Starts with lots of descriptions.
260
00:12:07,061 --> 00:12:08,860
Here, Francine, I just thought of this.
261
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,791
Aww, thank you.
262
00:12:12,266 --> 00:12:14,399
Do me a favor and grab
that one yourself.
263
00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:18,336
"Francine, this isn't from Stan.
264
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,538
"It's from me, printer.
265
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,007
"Run away with me.
266
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:26,078
A queen like you deserves
better than this beastly oaf."
267
00:12:27,281 --> 00:12:31,483
Uh, Stan,
I think the printer is turning on you.
268
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,084
Of course it's turning on me.
269
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,955
It is me. It wants you all to itself.
270
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,290
It's trying to hurt you.
271
00:12:38,292 --> 00:12:39,625
It's playing.
272
00:12:39,627 --> 00:12:42,360
The printer has already made
our lives more romantic.
273
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:45,363
I don't need our lives
to be more romantic.
274
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:46,832
I just need you.
275
00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:48,033
Give it one more chance.
276
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,435
We made reservations tomorrow night
277
00:12:49,437 --> 00:12:51,103
at that very romantic restaurant.
278
00:12:51,105 --> 00:12:53,371
I'm gonna need all hands on deck.
279
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:56,842
They have waiters that wipe
crumbs from your table.
280
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:59,946
I'm gonna eat so messily.
281
00:13:00,038 --> 00:13:01,980
We can keep it around...
282
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,817
Roger!
283
00:13:06,313 --> 00:13:08,186
Just the lawnmower!
284
00:13:09,523 --> 00:13:14,059
♪ Where the tibia
meets the talus bone ♪
285
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:17,096
Oh, printer,
I didn't know you were in here.
286
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:18,797
_
287
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:19,998
"Handsome"?
288
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:22,868
Keep that up, and you can have
289
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,903
the knife, the cheese, the...
290
00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:27,006
- _
- Oh, okay.
291
00:13:27,569 --> 00:13:28,837
_
292
00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:31,377
Wait. What are you up to...
293
00:13:32,081 --> 00:13:33,283
_
294
00:13:41,155 --> 00:13:44,556
Okay, you're trying to murder Stan.
295
00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:46,158
Time to go.
296
00:13:47,384 --> 00:13:48,460
Where is it?!
297
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,962
If you stole it, I swear on your hat...
298
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,297
Put Jeff down.
299
00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,632
I dumped the printer on
the side of the road.
300
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:58,504
It's evil, Stan.
It was trying to murder you.
301
00:13:58,506 --> 00:14:00,105
- So!
- So?
302
00:14:00,107 --> 00:14:01,707
I don't want you murdered.
303
00:14:01,709 --> 00:14:03,175
I'm canceling the date.
304
00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:05,511
I can't do it without my romance crutch.
305
00:14:05,513 --> 00:14:07,312
You don't need it.
306
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,247
I know I don't. You do!
307
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:12,117
- You're the one who needs the romance.
- No, I don't!
308
00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:15,387
You're not listening to me about
what I'm telling you you need!
309
00:14:15,401 --> 00:14:16,922
We're not canceling.
310
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:19,991
I'm getting tiny pieces
of bread in my cleavage
311
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,659
whether you're there or not!
312
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:25,130
Okay, well,
you saying cleavage got me back in.
313
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:28,400
He stretched out my shirt.
He owes me a new shirt.
314
00:14:28,402 --> 00:14:29,501
Shh!
315
00:14:34,408 --> 00:14:35,473
Bye, Bullock!
316
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,377
A pleasure doing a bender with you!
317
00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:43,081
Wait, this isn't the office.
318
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,021
"Hello...
319
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,391
handsome"?!
320
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:58,430
Can we take a break?
321
00:14:58,432 --> 00:15:00,899
We've been up writing poetry all night.
322
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,501
You call this poetry?
323
00:15:02,503 --> 00:15:06,438
"And that's why mom...
I mean, Francine... is so hot."
324
00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:10,575
Is it 'cause I wrote "mom"?
I'm exhausted!
325
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,710
Oh, relax.
326
00:15:11,712 --> 00:15:13,311
You took a three-hour nap in the corner.
327
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:16,114
We know you were wearing fake eyes!
328
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,116
He's wearing them now!
329
00:15:19,453 --> 00:15:20,453
Hayley, hit me.
330
00:15:20,454 --> 00:15:22,054
I wrote an acrostic.
331
00:15:22,056 --> 00:15:24,189
I spelled out mom's name
and added adjectives
332
00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:26,058
for each letter describing her.
333
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:27,392
"'F' is for fat"...
334
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,794
but in a good way, like with a "ph."
335
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,996
"'R' is for rack for days.
336
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:33,598
'A' is for ass for days"...
337
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,267
Stop. It's solid. Best we've got.
338
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,668
- Good job, Hayley.
- Really?
339
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:39,604
I can't believe you rejected
"roses are red,
340
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,006
"violets are blue,
like a gale force wind,
341
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,275
into my life you blew!"
342
00:15:43,277 --> 00:15:45,878
You can't rhyme "blue" with "blew."
343
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,280
They're different blues!
344
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:50,282
It's time for your date, Mr. S!
345
00:15:50,284 --> 00:15:51,750
Wish me luck, team!
346
00:15:51,752 --> 00:15:53,686
You won't need it with that poem.
347
00:15:53,688 --> 00:15:55,153
Oh, look at Hayley.
348
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,222
One good poem,
and she thinks she's ready for
349
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:58,957
"late night with Walt Whitman."
350
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:00,492
Right, Steve?
351
00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:01,694
Steve?
352
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,303
I need to get some [BLEEP] sleep.
353
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:14,839
"...ass for days.
354
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,708
"'C'... cute face.
355
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:18,310
"'I'... is cool.
356
00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:20,312
"'N'... not uncool.
357
00:16:20,314 --> 00:16:22,581
And 'e'... eggs worked."
358
00:16:22,583 --> 00:16:25,384
I guess that refers to
your successful fertility.
359
00:16:25,386 --> 00:16:28,853
You forgot the "n." Between "a" and "c."
360
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:31,323
- That spells "Fracine."
- Shit balls!
361
00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:32,725
Good evening.
362
00:16:32,727 --> 00:16:36,861
May I start you off with
some very crumbly bread?
363
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:38,230
Yes, please.
364
00:16:38,287 --> 00:16:40,632
And two piña coladas.
365
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:50,475
Stan, you just got crumbed,
and you didn't even notice.
366
00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:52,277
I'm bombing! Uh...
367
00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:54,012
Your hair is noodles.
368
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:56,348
Your eyes are... noodles!
369
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,550
Your lips are... Ah, I'm blanking here.
370
00:16:58,552 --> 00:17:01,720
You got them little macaroni toes,
I know that!
371
00:17:03,561 --> 00:17:06,258
Is that... the printer?
372
00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:08,427
Oh, hi, Smiths.
373
00:17:08,429 --> 00:17:11,296
This is my new girlfriend, Printer.
374
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,698
I just gave her arms,
legs, and a voice box.
375
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,567
Francine, I can finally speak.
376
00:17:15,569 --> 00:17:19,103
It feels like my tongue was in chains,
but I have broken free.
377
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:20,572
I should have said that!
378
00:17:20,574 --> 00:17:24,909
Now that I am a complete man,
we can finally be together.
379
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:28,046
What?! I-I thought
you were a girl printer!
380
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:30,515
Sorry, no. I lied.
381
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:31,784
And then used you to gain leverage
382
00:17:31,786 --> 00:17:33,918
over this disgusting pig.
383
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,387
He's not a pig!
384
00:17:35,389 --> 00:17:38,523
You could have a zillion
arms and a zillion voices,
385
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:41,126
and I still wouldn't
want to be with you.
386
00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:42,527
Let's go, Stan.
387
00:17:42,543 --> 00:17:44,129
You should be with him.
388
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,331
He can give you the romance you deserve.
389
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,467
I don't want to be with a printer!
390
00:17:48,469 --> 00:17:51,003
I did prepare for this.
391
00:17:51,005 --> 00:17:53,872
Oh, goo-oons!
392
00:18:02,216 --> 00:18:03,482
Goons?!
393
00:18:03,484 --> 00:18:05,818
You said I was making bridesmaids.
394
00:18:05,820 --> 00:18:08,153
Uh! All the lies!
395
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,155
Espresso machine, grab my love.
396
00:18:11,225 --> 00:18:13,358
Yowch! You're piping hot!
397
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,759
Sorry about that, tootsie.
398
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:17,562
Stan, why are you just sitting there?
399
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:20,299
You won her fair and square.
400
00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:28,640
Oh, Francine, is this all my fault?
401
00:18:28,642 --> 00:18:31,043
I know it can be hard,
but we have to trust
402
00:18:31,045 --> 00:18:34,112
our significant others when
they tell us how they feel.
403
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,447
I'm guilty too.
404
00:18:35,449 --> 00:18:37,449
Looking back at my last relationship,
405
00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:41,986
the printer told me many,
many times that it was only using me.
406
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:43,788
You're right.
407
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,791
I've been insecure instead
of trusting Francine.
408
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:50,529
Wow. I've never given a
successful pep talk before!
409
00:18:52,199 --> 00:18:53,398
Did you say something?
410
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,467
I-I was conferencing with my family.
411
00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:58,470
I'm sorry to force you
on this date, darling,
412
00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:01,740
but it's clear you are
still brainwashed by Stan.
413
00:19:01,742 --> 00:19:03,542
Why aren't you tasting the wine?
414
00:19:03,544 --> 00:19:08,213
Because you're a printer with no gullet?
415
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:11,149
Mmm. Notes of burning co-o-pper.
416
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:14,219
I heard this pairs well
with having unprotected sex
417
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,221
with your printer.
418
00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:16,555
Do you even have a dick?
419
00:19:16,557 --> 00:19:18,356
How are we supposed to bang?
420
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:21,359
My extender tray is my dick.
421
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:22,761
I thought that was obvious?
422
00:19:24,298 --> 00:19:26,565
I'm not putting that thing in me!
423
00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:29,501
It's like a long, flat rectangle.
424
00:19:29,503 --> 00:19:31,904
I'll get a new one. Go get Dr. Weitzman.
425
00:19:31,906 --> 00:19:35,240
Francine needs me to have
a less rectangular dick
426
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:36,841
so she can realize she loves me.
427
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:41,246
For the last time,
I will never love you!
428
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:44,048
I suggest you listen to the lady.
429
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:47,786
Stan, haven't you heard?
430
00:19:47,788 --> 00:19:50,789
Never bring a knife to an ink fight!
431
00:19:52,726 --> 00:19:56,060
This is stupid. Just give me the gun.
432
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:12,277
Stan! You came to your senses!
433
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:15,880
I'll never be romantic again!
434
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,183
_
435
00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:22,421
Coffee bean?
436
00:20:22,423 --> 00:20:25,557
Wait, are you a girl espresso machine?
437
00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:29,528
Uh... yeah. A real pretty one!
438
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:37,636
I know you think I don't save
anything of yours, but I do.
439
00:20:37,638 --> 00:20:40,305
- In the junk drawer?
- It's not a junk drawer.
440
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:42,841
It's momentos from our relationship.
441
00:20:42,843 --> 00:20:46,444
Like the superglue you used
to fix my Ed Hardy sandal
442
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,513
at the gathering of the juggalos.
443
00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:51,316
And now I want to add this.
444
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,852
Why don't you do it?
445
00:20:53,854 --> 00:20:55,988
You found me, Stan! Your turn!
446
00:20:55,990 --> 00:20:58,923
199, 198...
447
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,793
Bye! Have a great time!
448
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,496
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
32341
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