All language subtitles for Succession.S04E02.WEB.x264-TG.Hi

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Okay. Yeah. Everything...

Everything seems nailed
down for tomorrow.

How you feeling?

Why does everyone
ask how I'm feeling?

I'm sellin'. My decision.
I'm feeling great.

And yes, yes. Axe that chopper.

- They can fucking walk.
- Right. Absolutely.

- Office?
- Uh, ATN.

Oh.

Surprise visit?

Happy Christmas, you
clock-watching fucks.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

NEWS ANCHOR: but where they are,
not to a significant degree.

Well, that may be true,

but NATO has a
cultural weight...

ROMAN ROY: So many olds.

Where are the hotties?

Yeah, I mean this needs the
living shit kicked out of it.

KENDALL ROY: A show about
politics called Inside Baseball.

(CELL PHONE DINGS, VIBRATES)

- SHIV ROY: What?
- Yeah. How fuckin' confusing is that?

- ROMAN: They have that?
- SHIV: Mm.

Connor.

"Have we left yet?"
Eyeballs emoji. (CHUCKLES)

Fingers crossed emoji
and helicopter emoji.

- KENDALL: We're coming.
- ROMAN: This is unbelievable.

Our PGN is just
gonna crush this.

- SHIV: Mm-hmm.
- Not quite yours yet.

ROMAN: Business retreat,
Telly. PGN brainstorm.

KENDALL: Sunday, Monday
programming. Dookie.

Tuesday, Wednesday
programming. Dookie.

Friday, Saturday programming.
Massive stinky dog dookie.

I gotta say, the upside is
huge if we just broaden out

and stop over-indexing
to college professors.

- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
- Right?

ROMAN: Sorry, I just can't
seem to tear my eyes away

from the bald man
talking about NATO.

- I have a boner...
- So, my floaty, kinda

semi-pitch would be
hardcore international news

from global-global
to hyperlocal.

Jess, would you watch that?

Uh... uh, yeah... Uh,
if it was on, totally.

Like, maybe a focus on Africa?

Every day, just what
is happening in Africa?

The Maghreb. Sub-Saharan
East, Sub-Saharan West.

I would watch that shit.

ROMAN: You would
not watch that shit.

- KENDALL: I would.
- SHIV: No, I mean, that... that sounds like

Homework: The Show.

- KENDALL: No, the point is it's global reach.
- (CHUCKLES)

- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) - KENDALL: It's a
network that teaches you how to watch it.

- ROMAN: Or, shove all your...
- KENDALL: Or?

- Oh.
- foreign report melatonin news hour

- info dumps in the daytime...
- Yeah.

ROMAN: Primetime, we go full
Clockwork Orange, you know?

- Hey. (CHUCKLES)
- SARAH: Yeah.

So, unfortunately, Gretchen
Yung is conflicted out.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Oh!

Really? With Tom? He
went with Gretchen?

Okay, uh, who's in...
Who's in second position?

- SARAH: Crowley.
- (SNIFFS)

Okay. (SIGHS) Uh, yeah, fine.

SARAH: I contacted his office.
He's also conflicted out.

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Uh, and Kohlmayer,
uh... (CLICKS TONGUE)

and Bulloch and, uh, and Camden?

SARAH: Yeah. Yeah.
Conflicted out. It's weird.

Okay, great. I'll
call you back. (SIGHS)

♪ (MUSIC SWELLS) ♪

♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

Okay, so, have we
tied up all five now?

- Yep.
- And they're all the ones

- that Mr. Roy's office gave us?
- SARA: Yep.

TOM WAMBSGANS: Oh, God.

- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
- Hey, buddy.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
So, uh, so Logan's in.

TOM: Logan's in?

What, upstairs? In
the sales meeting?

- No, he's on the floor, Tom.
- TOM: He's on the floor?

Wait, explain to me
exactly what he's doing

with his body and his face.

GREG HIRSCH: (SIGHS)
I don't know.

He's just moseying.
Terrifyingly moseying.

He's wearing sunglasses inside.

It looks like if... if
Santa Claus was a hitman.

Okay. Okay, okay. Hold on.
Hold steady. I'm coming in.

Okay, Sergio, halt
the car. Halt the car.

Okay, cancel the
rest of my afternoon.

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(LINE RINGING)

- Hey.
- SHIV: Hey, Tom.

So, all the top attorneys
are conflicted out. Yeah?

Dad teach you that? It's
a fucking nice move.

Wow, does he wanna
marry you now?

Um, I'm not sure I
know what you mean.

Oh, yeah, okay. So, you've
met with or retained

every usable divorce
lawyer in New York

just to fuck with me. Hmm?

I don't know, Shiv. I think
maybe Sara made a mistake.

You think I don't recognize
my own dad's playbook?

- Fuck you, Tom!
- TOM: Shiv,

I... I did not intend for
this to be aggressive,

but I've seen what
your family can do

in these situations and
I want it to be amicable.

I'm sure we can figure it out.

SHIV: Yeah, okay.

You wanna be my dad's
little bitch boy?

Why don't you deliver
him a message, bitch boy?

Tell him to fuck off
and stay out of my life.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

(WHISPERS) Okay, so what's
happening? What's happening?

(WHISPERS) Okay, so he's still
just kinda walking around,

but with a slight sense
that he might kill someone.

It's like Jaws.

If... if everyone in
Jaws worked for Jaws.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- Yeah.

- So, he did one big shout.
- Right.

GREG: He does not like

the countdown-to-election
chyrons,

he hates the new
font, it's too small.

It's too ingratiating.
It's a really bad vibe.

What... what is
this, do you think?

I don't know. Maybe he just
wants to play your sex tape

on Late Night, Greg.

No, the future starts now, Greg.

You know, once... once
the board rubber-stamps,

and once the regulators
nod the deal through,

three, four months,
Waystar is gone.

This will be home.

- GREG: So, he's gonna be here all the time? in person?
- TOM: Yeah. Yep. Yep.

Hanging around like the
threat of nuclear war.

- Here we go.
- GREG: Go get him.

Hey, hey. Hey,
sir, Mr. Boss Man.

- Uh...
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

One email.

Fucking Stakhanovites in here.

- Please, don't exhaust yourself.
- (CHUCKLES)

What do you think of
the, uh, election refit?

Oh, yeah, pretty fucking
penny. It's an aircraft hangar.

What's the air-con bill?

Well, yeah, Cyd really
loves the sense of space.

It's certainly interesting.

Where is she?

Cyd? Oh, she doesn't
tend to stay late

when it's opera
season. Oh. Hey, Cyd.

Oh, boss. I didn't
see you. I was busy.

But I can see that
my social secretary's

- been looking after you.
- Have you watched the tape?

- CYD PEACH: Tom?
- Hmm?

Kerry's tape. Have
you watched it?

What do you think?

Of Kerry?

What do I think of her
audition to be an anchor?

Yes.

Well, did you... What...
what do you think, Logan?

Oh, no, no, no, no,
no. You go first.

Well, I think... (CLICKS
TONGUE) I think I liked it.

- I mean, she's got something.
- Oh, she really does.

- Yeah, should we...
- ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

You thinking of
giving her a slot?

Because I... I personally think

that... that could be a
very interesting idea.

- Right?
- LOGAN ROY: I'm keeping out.

She's my assistant.

It would be very unprofessional
of me to get involved.

Whatever you two geniuses think.

Now, I want to talk to
them, a little speech.

Somewhere down
here in the middle.

Man of the people.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

Good evening, I'm
Kerry Castellabate,

- and these are our top stories tonight.
- ROMAN: Doing great so far.

You look stupid.

Missouri State poli...
police... Missouri State Police

- have issued an AMBER Alert...
- Oh, my goodness.

KERRY CASTELLABATE: as two children
are believed to have been abducted.

They were last seen
outside the school gates

waiting for their
mother to collect them.

(CHUCKLES) And
then sudden smile.

KERRY: The police are
appealing for anyone...

Must act natural
to fool the humans.

- And a new medical study has found that...
- (ROMAN LAUGHS)

KENDALL: She's doing the
shit out of this news.

KERRY: can extend your life up
to five years while three cups...

- ROMAN: Man, Dad was a god.
- KERRY: can reduce it by two. Who knows?

Maybe it's time
to switch to tea.

But tomorrow, he's
selling the empire

to a 4chan Swede

and dishing out
jobs for blowies.

- SANDI FURNESS: Shiv?
- Hey.

Uh, Sandi, hi.

(INHALES DEEPLY) Uh,
I hope you don't mind.

I was gonna try
and set something,

but I thought I'd just call
'cause it's kind of urgent.

- Hope that's okay.
- Um, uh,

yeah, no, of course.
Um, what's up?

Is it about Connor's wedding?

Because that was
such a regretful no.

Oh! (SCOFFS) No. No, no, no.
This is completely different.

It's, uh, just about
our chat and your pitch.

You know, I was
just, well, thinking

maybe I was a little hasty.

- SANDI: Uh-huh!
- Yeah.

And do your siblings feel
the same or still no?

SHIV: Well, no, I
haven't had a chance

to talk to them about it yet,
but I'm gonna bounce it around,

see if I can't persuade
them, because, you know,

I agree there's a... There's
a lot of upside there

to get a little more money.

Well, I mean,
obviously, I agree,

but, uh, the board
meeting is tomorrow, Shiv.

SHIV: Uh, well,
look, can I just...

Can I put you on alert,

just in case there is room
for a discussion there?

And... and just to say that
this is a live issue for me.

- You know, maybe...
- ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Maybe we don't just wave
this through. Maybe...

(INHALES SHARPLY) Maybe
it pisses off my dad,

but maybe that's okay.

- Yeah?
- SANDI: Yeah. Absolutely.

Maybe we can circle back.
Is that okay, Sandi?

And the USA Today...

- ROMAN: Oh! Again, again, again.
- KENDALL: It's so good. It's so good.

- (KENDALL EXCLAIMS)
- ROMAN: Oh, what! Kinky!

- One more.
- Roll it through again.

- Again.
- One more.

- Go press the button.
- (BUTTON CLICKS)

- KERRY: Good evening, I'm Kerry Castellabate...
- Una más.

KENDALL: If he puts this on air,
this is, like, easily packaged

- as symptomatic of total loss of judgement and control.
- ROMAN: Yeah.

- Um, guys, they're actually...
- (ROMAN MOCKS JESS)

- KENDALL: Yeah, I know...
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

Transpo's on the tarmac.

It's waiting to take you
to Connor's rehearsal.

- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- He's texting me.

- ROMAN: Oh, he is? Yep.
- This is... this is special.

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL
MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

I... I'd prefer something
a little more stable.

Yeah. Uh, no, there's no
need for a song and dance.

Let's keep it
cheap and cheerful.

- Tom?
- Yeah?

- LOGAN: Will you, uh, do a little intro for me?
- ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

- Sprinkle a little sugar?
- Up... up there?

- Yeah.
- Of course.

- On the... Yeah, sure.
- LOGAN: Yeah.

Okay. (CHUCKLES) Okay.

Hey, guys. (CLEARS
THROAT) Hey. Hi.

Just want to say hi.
Um, come on over.

Yeah, it's been a
tough few weeks.

Election coming into view, um...

Yeah, I appreciate you all
and Cyd, my partner in crime.

(CHUCKLES)

And, uh, from my POV, you know,

keep cranking 'cause
we're doing great.

Up three percent in the
demo week over week.

Woo-hoo.

TOM: But, you know,
we can do more, uh,

up 15 percent, uh,
year over year.

And, uh... (COUGHS)

Just... It's great work. And,
uh, Just w... Real pleasure

to have the big man here
to give us some, uh,

some support. So,
sir. Up you come.

(ALL CHEER, APPLAUD)

Okay. Come on up.
Want help? No? Okay.

I could give you
a kiss from here.

Good afternoon,
everybody. Good afternoon.

Uh, 15 percent up year on year?

Well, it's a shame
we're up 40 on costs,

but I guess... I guess it
evens itself out in the end.

I mean, does it?

Is 15 equal to 40, pal?

- Uh...
- Is 15 equal to 40, pal?

- No.
- No! Good!

Good head for numbers!

All right. You're good folks.

You're the best or you
wouldn't be in here.

But you've got to
knuckle down for me.

Waystar, I can't
say too much as yet,

but I'm going to be spending
a lot more time in here

with you lot, because
I love it in here.

I fucking love it!

(ALL CHEER, APPLAUD)

So... (CHUCKLES)
I don't wanna know

about three percent
week on week,

I wanna know that we're
killing the opposition!

I wanna be cutting
their throats!

Our rivals should
be checking in,

out the back of their
chauffeured cars

because they can't
believe what we did.

So fucking spicy, so true.

Something everyone knows
but nobody says because...

they're too fucking
lily-livered. Huh?

They cannot believe
what we said,

and the fact that
we fucking said it!

They're fucking jam
smears on the highway!

- Now...
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

anyone, anyone who believes
that I'm getting out,

please shove the
bunting up your ass.

- (WORKERS LAUGH)
- This is not the end.

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

I'm gonna build
something better.

Something faster,
lighter, leaner, wilder.

And I'm gonna do it from
in here with you lot!

- You're fucking pirates!
- ♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪

- All right? All right? Yeah!
- (ALL CHEER, APPLAUD)

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

- (HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

KENDALL: Who are you most excited
about never having to see again

- once GoJo closes?
- ROMAN: Uh, Hugo,

Frank, Karl.

- What about you?
- Hey, uh...

- Wait. No, no, no, no, no, no.
- What?

- We can't get on.
- What?

I don't know. Uh,
there's a problem.

- Excuse me. What?
- There's a new policy,

- apparently.
- What?

CINDY: I don't
know what this is,

but, apparently,
I'm not authorized

to let you take off.

- Who is?
- The company has just sent word.

- Uh, what? We are the company.
- Yeah.

- Our dad is the CEO.
- KENDALL: Okay.

- Okay, okay.
- Right?

- ROMAN: Yeah.
- What?

- ROMAN: What?
- What?

It's Dad.

He's fucking with us.

- Oh.
- Right, he knows

- we're out here making moves.
- Okay.

KENDALL: His
feathers are ruffled.

So, we're just gonna get on

and we're gonna figure
it out later, okay?

I'm... I'm... I'm really sorry,
I'm not able to let you board.

- It's not authorized.
- ROMAN: We have somewhere to be, so we need to be on that chopper

and if we're not,

I'm gonna set aside several
hundred thousand dollars

and I'm going to dedicate
it to destroying your life.

Is that great? How
does that sound?

- I can't speak to that.
- KENDALL: There she goes!

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- KENDALL: Oh! Oh! Okay, bye-bye.
- ROMAN: Where's it going? What is this?

KENDALL: There goes Daddy.

- CINDY: It's going back to the city.
- KENDALL: Buh-bye birdie.

- Oh, wow. There it is.
- SHIV: Oh, man.

- (HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
- KENDALL: Wave bye to Daddy.

The fuck is this? Well,
we're gonna be late now.

- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- Connor's gonna shit.

It's gonna be a guilt
trip to the fucking moon.

God dammit.

In Buddhism, sometimes
your greatest tormentor

can also be, uh, your
most perceptive teacher.

That's... that's really wise.

- (CELL PHONE DINGS, VIBRATES)
- Um, hey, Buddha.

- Nice Tom Fords.
- Uh, oh! (SIGHS)

- Okay, this is interesting.
- KENDALL: Is it Con?

- No, it's, um... (CLICKS TONGUE)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- Where's the car?
- It's, uh, Sandi and Stewy,

they wanna... they wanna
meet. Call or meet.

They'd prefer the meet.

They're asking if we're gonna be
back in the city... (CHUCKLES)

- in the next one to two.
- ROMAN: I mean, tonight?

No, it's about the
board shit, right?

Like Stewy says
that Sandi thinks

there's more juice to
squeeze from the Swede

so they're just
flying that again.

- It's bullshit.
- ROMAN: Yeah.

It's bullshit, Shiv.
We've moved on.

- ROMAN: I agree with this...
- KENDALL: Hey! Where's the car?

- Fuckin' hippie.
- KENDALL: Hey, where are they?

- They just left.
- JESS JORDAN: Yeah, they're... I...

- He's just like...
- ROMAN: Get a car!

I'm trying, I'm trying.

Nothing from the board. I
don't like this silence.

Give 'em one last buzz round.

Kerry, get Frank and Karl
on to the independents.

Let's triple lock this down.

KERRY: (OVER VIDEO) As severe thunderstorms are expected...
- (CHUCKLES)

KERRY: to hit Pennsylvania,

- West Virginia, Virginia...
- This shit's everywhere.

- KERRY: and the Carolinas today.
- (HUGO BAKER CHUCKLING)

- What is she doing?
- KERRY: To end our forecast...

- Hey.
- Hi. We finished early, so...

GERRI KELLMAN: Okay.

- What's going on?
- Sorry?

Uh, just some prep
for post-board meet,

- the signing of the deal.
- Ah.

HUGO: It seems Matsson would
love an actual photo op.

I guess the question is,

is that something
you would like?

- Or should we just...
- What were you laughing at?

What?

LOGAN: What were
you laughing at?

Uh, Gerri was...
Um, we were chatting

and she said... (CHUCKLES)
something amusing, so...

Okay, okay, let's
look at the options.

Um, look, I, uh...

I don't know if I
should be seen shaking,

uh, Matsson's hand.

I mean, he's been such a
prick about the spin off.

Okay, uh, Karolina, can
you do the option deck?

- Well, you're ready to go in.
- Uh-huh. But can you do it?

KAROLINA NOVOTNEY: Is
your laptop not working?

- Nope.
- Well, just give it a go.

It appears to be
working, give it a go.

Okay.

- See if it... see if it works.
- (SIGHS)

- (CABLE CLATTERS)
- HUGO: Here.

Um...

- Severe storm...
- (KEYBOARD CLACKING)

So, here's the deck and it's...
We got some great stuff here.

- Uh-huh.
- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- KAROLINA: So, um, should we get into it?
- Look, I don't wanna be

seen like some piece of
fucking set dressing, okay?

GERRI: I mean,
the only thing is,

everyone's saying the
timing, the deal you've done,

don't you want your
moment in the sun?

LOGAN: Oh, you working
for Matsson already?

I'm still here, you know?
I haven't gone. Huh?

You getting your Viking
hat on early? Huh?

- No.
- LOGAN: Nah.

Nah, this is bullshit.

Hugo, I think we
might need someone

to go and suck off an
independent director.

I'm concerned about the board.
Put your fucking lipstick on.

- (DOOR OPENS)
- (LAPTOP SHUTS)

- (ZIPPER OPENS)
- HUGO: Okay.

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC
PLAYING, FADING) ♪

SHIV: Is it worse to go up now?

I mean, I'd love to not go,
but I think we kinda have

to drink at least a couple of Martini
Passive Agressos just to make up, right?

STEWY HOSSEINI: Oh, you
guys want a taxicab ride?

- Taxicab? Come on, come on.
- ROMAN: Okay, what the fuck?

STEWY: Flat rate. I'll
give you good price.

- Good price, good price.
- Okay, what is this?

- We're kinda pushed.
- Yeah. Come on, man,

is this a fucking ambush? Hi.

No. We just wanted
to do five in person.

- Right, Sandi?
- SANDI: Yeah,

we have a suite
booked across the way.

Well, guys, it's not
exactly convenient.

We're prepared to vote
no on the GoJo deal

at the Waystar board
meeting tomorrow.

We think there's more money
to be squeezed from the Swede,

and we think you're rushing
this for emotional reasons.

Hmm. Well, I don't
think so. Okay, see you.

The premiums look weak on
market comparables, you know it.

- Look at last week, Ro.
- It's a different deal,

- it's not relevant.
- Oh, come on, Ken.

We want our dad to ask for
more, but he stopped engaging.

- He's palmed us off with Karl.
- ROMAN: He does that.

He can get the deal
through without us,

but if we can get
you guys on our side,

we can force him
back into the ring

for one last round.

Okay, so I guess, like,
board pushes back on price.

- What's the big deal?
- What's the big deal?

- SHIV: Okay.
- KENDALL: Well, we'd have to weigh that

against the risk of
blowing everything up.

ROMAN: I think our
position might be that

we're just done
corn-holing our dad.

But we... we just feel like
your old man got hot for this.

Can't we cool him off?

STEWY: Listen, listen.
There's money for all of us

if we ask nicely. We push
too hard, danger, danger,

but, yeah, it's there.
You know, it's there.

My dad is clear. He
wants to vote no.

- Yes.
- Us, plus you guys, that's it.

He's outvoted. This doesn't
get through the board.

Send it back to the table.

- It doesn't need to go nuclear.
- No. What...

Okay, it's not a big
deal, let's just...

We'll think about it. Yeah.

SANDI: Okay, well, the
board meeting's tomorrow.

So, we need to know in
the next hour or two.

- Okay. Sure.
- 'Kay?

So, it's either we
vote yes tomorrow

and we all make
billions of dollars,

or we sign up for your cool shit

and then Dad
disinherits us entirely.

That sounds like a toughie.

We'll think about
it. Thanks. Bye.

- Yeah. We gotta go.
- STEWY: Ken.

- KENDALL: We're done.
- STEWY: Ken!

- I'll keep working.
- Yeah. And I'll call Ken.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- WILLA FERREYRA: Oh, hey.
- Hey.

(SIGHS) So, you're
here now, huh?

Yeah. No, sorry. Um. What,
are you leaving or...

You okay? (CHUCKLES)

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm... I'm just, um...

I'm just going for
a little drink.

ROMAN: Oh, it's
over? Is it done?

- The... the rehearsal?
- Yeah.

Um, no, no, but I...

I think they can
take it from hereon.

Not vital from here,
so... (CHUCKLES)

ROMAN: Yeah, I mean,
the bride is normally...

I guess, is generally considered
one of the first team...

- (LAUGHS) - in the
old wedding, you know?

Yeah, right. (INHALES)
Yeah, I should go.

You know, and, um, have a
think. I'm in a bit of a fuzz.

(CHUCKLES) Everything feels
very vivid today, doesn't it?

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- You okay?

- What... what's...
- Uh-huh. Yeah. Fine.

- KENDALL: What's going on?
- Oh. Hm.

You can't be jumping for
joy the whole time, right?

- (CHUCKLES)
- No, I guess.

Yeah, look... I should,
um... I should go.

- ROMAN: Yeah. Okay.
- Yeah, bye. (CHUCKLES)

- Okay, bye. Uh, wow.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Fairy-tale wedding.

- ROMAN: There goes the bride.
- (CHUCKLES)

- I have enough cash.
- She is...

- I'll take her.
- I mean, do we even go up?

- It seems like it's over, so...
- Uh, well, I mean, yeah.

- I think we should.
- What do you mean?

- Yeah. Of course.
- ROMAN: What do you mean? Yeah. No.

SHIV: No, we're gonna... We...
we have a lot to discuss.

Oh, what? The fuck-y
bullshit? No, come on.

Roman, look, a few weeks'
pain could really set us up.

- (ROMAN SIGHS)
- And I think we over-promised

- on Pierce and...
- ROMAN: Mm-hm. Just... It's a...

I just wanna...

- ROMAN: Sandi mind game.
- We're gonna go. Come on.

ROMAN: Fuck 'em.
Fuck those guys.

Sure.

- ♪ (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- CONNOR ROY: (CHUCKLES) Finally.
- Found him.

- Finally...
- KENDALL: Hey, hey.

- Here they are.
- SHIV: Hey.

- Hello, sir. Hugsie.
- We're so sorry, man.

Aw, thank you.

Yeah, Dad screwed
us. Hey, bro.

Oh, look at you.
The Rebel Alliance.

- SHIV: Mm-hmm.
- How is it out in those hills?

Supply lines okay?
Got enough to eat?

This is how it is, huh?

The battle royale. Me
and Dad on one side,

you guys on the other?

ROMAN: You... you okay,
man? We bumped into Willa

on the way in.

Yeah, I think it's all fine.

- Yeah. (SMACKS LIPS)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Willa stood up to do her
speech and she said...

"I can't do this."

And she went to the
bathroom for 40 minutes

with her so-called friends.

Jesus. Oh, no, no, no. No,
that is not... You're fine.

That's totally fine.
Don't worry about that.

Just toss her another ten grand,

or a snowmobile and some
teeth whitening vouchers.

Any luck, Sylvia?

Willa's mom.

It's fine, Con.

- Okay, so...
- This is so fucking weird.

SHIV: Do we regroup at my place?

Shiv. He's... Come on, he's
looking a little rough,

- don't you think?
- SHIV: Well, sure.

I'm sorry that Dad fucked us,
and I'm sorry that we're late,

but we do need to
decide fast, so...

- Well, I think we know, right?
- SHIV: Do we, though?

- Yeah.
- They made some

- pretty compelling arguments.
- Sandi's a greedy little bitch.

She's got her hand up the ass
of the carcass of her dad,

and Stewy's just come along
for the ride. It's a...

Fuck it. It's a
packet of horseshit.

Okay. What if I want
to talk it through?

I just think... I think we
rise above it, Shiv. Right?

- SHIV: No... Maybe...
- ROMAN: But?

Dad is not on it
like he used to be,

and maybe he's
underplayed his hand

and the board are all
a hand-fucking-picked

bunch of Japanese plastic
cats just waving it through.

CONNOR: Okay. Still
incommunicado.

I just really hope she's
okay. So, what do you say?

Little bit of karaoke?

Uh, or would it be possible
to do anything other than that

- in the entire universe?
- She's partying, I can party.

I mean, we can go drink, right?

Little bachelor party
for POTUS-SCROTUS.

Uh, well, I mean,
we three kind of...

- Oh, sure. Everybody's busy.
- We've got a...

Come on, let's give
him a drink, sis.

- ROMAN: Yeah.
- Let's give him a drink.

- Yeah, but not... but not...
- Let's get him a drink.

Your usual stupid places.
Uh, somewhere fun and real.

Away from the fancy dance.
A real bar with chicks.

And guys who work with
their hands and grease,

and sweat from their hands

and have blood in their hair.

ROMAN: I don't like these guys.

They sound like a medical
experiment gone wrong.

I don't know, he just said
it's a big fucking problem.

Well, why the kitchen?
Should we hide the knives?

I don't know, he just said...

- Hey, Loge. Hey, what's up?
- Hey.

Is all this pizza?

- TOM: Uh-huh.
- GREG: Hmm.

LOGAN: Why am I looking
at all this pizza, huh?

It's killing me.

This is... It's out
of control, Tom.

- Right.
- They send out for fresh pies,

and there are two or three here
already that are perfectly good.

All you have to do is put
them in the fucking microwave.

- TOM: Right.
- GREG: Right. Noted.

I guess, just to
say, it does tend to,

uh, it loses a s...
There's a sog factor...

Greg, fuck off.

Okay.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS) Uh, it's not the pizza.

I've been thinking about Kerry.

Okay. Okay. Yeah, very excited.
I mean, let's get into it.

She's a... she's a natural.
(CHUCKLES) She's got "it."

Is she the finished article?

Well, finished article, no.

- But you wouldn't expect her to be.
- No.

TOM: No. She needs a
little... Needs a little time.

Uh-huh.

Maybe, maybe quite
a bit of time.

- ♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- LOGAN: Interesting.

Yeah. She's, uh... She's raw.

And I think, um, maybe
we should think about

starting her way...
under the radar.

And, uh, you know, she
has a lot to learn.

A lot.

And I think... I think
it can be damaging

to put talent out
there too early.

Smart.

- Now, that's smart.
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Yeah. Okay, sure. No problem.

I'm not involved. I'm
nowhere near this.

- I know nothing.
- TOM: Sure. Understood.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- ♪ (HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- Ah! America...
- ROMAN: This is charming.

I missed you.

Okay, what's everybody having?

- Oh. Uh...
- KENDALL: What do you want?

Uh, do you think they know
how to make a vodka tonic?

- SHIV: House red? Do I dare?
- Yes.

- (CHUCKLES) What? No, no, no.
- ROMAN: That. Get that.

Just a club soda
with a sealed lid.

Uh, nothing from
that tainted nozzle.

Con, what do you want?

I'll just have whatever
a regular Joe would have.

Just, uh, Belgian Weissbier.
Not Hoegaarden, ideally.

- Hey, have you seen this?
- Hmm?

- From "Heard on the Street"...
- Mm-hm.

About what the Waystar
price will come out at?

- Mm-hm.
- Sandi shared, so I...

Hey, can I get,
um, a vodka tonic,

I'll have a bitters and soda...

You still, uh, with us, Con?

Oh, sure. Just Willa. I
have her location shared.

I just think it's
a factory setting.

It's not.

Yeah, well anyway,
I'm reassured.

She's definitely not
on her way to Cuba.

- Well, her phone isn't.
- Yeah, she's stopped moving.

I guess she found
a spot she likes.

- SHIV: Sure.
- On another man's dick.

On a much bigger,

nicer, harder, younger
dick is all I'm saying.

- Can we not? Can we not, d...
- Okay. Sorry. I know.

Dude. You know,
'cause I'm feeling...

- I'm... I'm having certain anxieties, huh?
- Okay, sorry. Mm-hmm.

I mean, I... I wanna
have a good time.

- Okay all right.
- KENDALL: Let's have fun.

We can monitor her dot together.

- She's... What? (GROANS)
- Let's get it up

- on the big screen.
- CONNOR: Why so long at the...

Her dot is at a aquarium
supply retailer.

That doesn't make sense.
Is that a drug thing?

- (WHISPERS) I love him.
- KENDALL: No.

- You sure?
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)

KENDALL: I am sure.

It is. It's a drug thing.

- KENDALL: Sorry.
- Now, she's at a dry cleaner's.

ROMAN: She's, uh, probably
getting her panties cleaned.

- Mussed 'em up a bit. That's really tough.
- I'll be right back.

- What's wrong with you?
- Drinks are right here.

ROMAN: I'm not
saying it's your cum.

- No, stop.
- ROMAN: Your cum, I'm sure, is very...

- CONNOR: Stop. Stop.
- ROMAN: washable. Okay.

- ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)

KENDALL: Yo, Lukas.
What's up, brother?

LUKAS MATSSON: (OVER
FACETIME) 'Sup?

(INHALES DEEPLY) I
can't fucking sleep.

- You sleep good?
- Uh...

Honestly, not really. No.

Well, I've never met anyone
I respect who sleeps good.

Tell me about it. One eye
open, bro. One eye open.

LUKAS: Yeah. And secondly,
my... my team says

I shouldn't be talking
to you about this,

but, whatever. (INHALES DEEPLY)

Well, I've been... I've
been hearing that, uh,

the activists
hustling on the price

are trying to get you to
join their little, uh,

scheisse party. Is that true?

Uh-huh. Well, I can't, uh...

I can't give you a
play-by-play, but...

Well, I... I know that you tried
to screw this deal with your dad

and I know your
dad hates you now.

- So...
- ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

you're out of options,
huh? (MUNCHES)

And I've also been hearing
that you've been going around

offering old ladies
suitcases full of money.

Well, if you want to have a
full suitcase anytime soon,

- you... you don't push me, okay?
- Okay, dude.

- You're... He's gonna sell.
- I hear you, man.

But if he pushes me
again, it won't be to me.

This isn't aggressive.

Like, uh, I've been told
that sometimes when...

When I'm direct, it
can code aggressive,

but it's not, it's just...

Look, I like you,
I like you. I do.

I thought clarity, you know,
before any nukes get launched.

Okay?

So, either back off,
or I'm gonna walk.

- I got you, loud and clear.
- Okay.

- I think that's it, K-Roy.
- Yeah. Sweet dreams.

(CELL PHONE BEEPS)

♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

Storm warnings have been
issued in parts of the east,

as severe thunderstorms are
expected to hit Pennsylvania

and the Cali... Carolinas today.

- And our forecast to la...
- (KEYBOARD CLICKS)

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

This is an incredibly delicate
piece of diplomacy, Greg.

Okay? It's like
Israel-Palestine,

except harder and
much more important.

(CHUCKLES) She's
not gonna be happy.

- TOM: Right.
- (INHALES DEEPLY)

But I think I see a way through.

- GREG: What's that?
- You tell her.

Yeah, in... interesting.

I mean, I... I don't...
I don't like it.

Well, you're a
little frustrated?

Yeah.

You wanted next-level
tasks, right?

Yeah, but not like

telling our boss' girlfriend
she can't be on TV. (SCOFFS)

Honestly, I think...
I think it tracks.

- (GREG SIGHS)
- This is what you do, all right?

You go to her and you say...
(INHALES) Like you say,

"It's really hard,

even being the cousin
of this family,

and you've seen what's
happened to the kids.

- You know, things get muddled..."
- Mm-hmm.

And... and then you tell her
she's good, but not too good,

and then you... you... You
make sure Logan's out of it

and I'm out of it
and you tell her

that the focus
group had thoughts.

- Mm, okay.
- And then you ask her, you know,

does she even really want it

handed to her on
a silver platter?

You know, with all the
resentments and accusations?

And then you can make it
seem like it's her idea

- to cool things, right?
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Okay.

- TOM: Yeah? Good.
- Yeah.

But if she's like,

"Fuck you, Greg, and I
wanna be on TV tomorrow.

- ATN is my home..."
- Well, then, if that happens,

just back away to a
position of safety

and I will march in and
mop up the rage, okay?

GREG: All right.

- (DOOR OPENS, SHUTS)
- Oh, god dammit. (EXHALES)

- ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Well, I'm having fun.

Hey, what's up?
What did I miss?

- SHIV: Hey.
- We're eating.

- KENDALL: Yeah?
- Right here.

Billy Ray Cyrus's
Kentucky Fried Shit Shack.

Well, they seem to
have some hearty fare.

- What was that shit?
- Uh, Stewy.

- Oh, great. What the fuck now?
- Yeah.

Well, actually, guys,
can I... can I...

Can I show you something?

- Yeah.
- Oh, wings!

I wonder from which particular
creature they snip these wings.

- It's, um...
- Perhaps a mammal.

On the comparables.

It's... it's actually
pretty fucking intriguing.

Okay. Well, it makes you think.

Maybe Dad isn't on it
like he used to be.

You know, he's been
pushed around by Matsson

and fucking being
pushed around by Kerry.

Giving shows to his
girlfriend? That's just...

Fuck, she's in the East
River. She's in the fucking...

- No.
- SHIV: What?

She's on the bridge.

She's headed to,
uh, Williamsburg.

Not to be dicks,
Con, but is it okay

if we do a little breakout chat,

- just the three of us?
- (CONNOR SIGHS)

- We won't be long.
- ROMAN: What?

- SHIV: Like, two minutes max.
- Hey, fuck it.

Why don't we fold Con in?

Well, he's not on
the board, so...

Yeah, but he has a
share, so if the deal...

(CLICKS TONGUE) he
loses his payout.

- Excuse me?
- Oh, yeah. So, Shiv wants

to get us mixed up in
some sort of drug deal

that will fuck
the vote tomorrow.

Uh, no. A small delay,
we all want the deal.

- Okay.
- And, look, I think I agree.

- Oh, what the fuck now?
- KENDALL: Yeah, just...

- ROMAN: Seriously?
- It's just

looking at the numbers...

- SHIV: Yeah.
- It's... it's compelling.

- SHIV: Yes.
- It's compelling? Come on.

So, you're gonna
force Dad to grovel?

Oh, man. How long will
a renegotiation take?

SHIV: It's a play.

More money is more money and
that's all there is to it.

(CELL PHONE CHIMES, VIBRATES)

SHIV: (CHUCKLES) Oh, I'm sorry.

Uh. What the fuck?

Uh, Roman...

The fuck is Dad
messaging you for, Rome?

Uh... uh, I don't know. Ask him.

- Stupid question.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- You're not gonna read it?
- ROMAN: Mm-mm.

Yeah, I'll read
the... I will, yeah.

I'll read it, sure. Um,
uh, just a check-in.

SHIV: Oh, yeah?

- A check-in?
- Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, you're
right. Classic Dad.

He always just checks in.

Just wants to see
how you're doing.

Okay, I sent him a text on his
birthday just saying, "Happy birthday."

- Uh, "Sorry we missed it."
- I'm sorry, wait a minute. You texted him initially?

On his birthday. Yeah.

We said no contact
until he apologizes.

Okay, well, so then, never?

- You know what?
- ROMAN: What?

I think I would like
to see your phone.

- ROMAN: Oh, really?
- Yeah.

Show me your phone. World's
biggest WhatsApp group

of people sharing
pictures of your snatch.

- No, thanks. Fuck you. No.
- KENDALL: Rome? Guys? Rome.

ROMAN: What?

We have to trust
each other here.

So then fucking look.
I don't give a shit.

- Great.
- It's dick pics anyway.

- He's got a real taste for 'em now.
- KENDALL: Great.

ROMAN: It's this right here.
Read. Who gives a shit?

Well, this is more
than one text.

- It's two, three. It's...
- Yeah.

Yeah, it's more than one. Sorry.

- It's a bit warm.
- It's warm? Why? What did I say?

- "Take care."
- "Take care"?

What am I supposed to
say? "Happy birthday.

Hope you fall down a flight
of stairs, shithead."

You know what? I feel
a little bit weird

about this betrayal.

- The betrayal?
- SHIV: Yeah.

Yes, the... the betrayal of,

"Happy Birthday, Dad.
Take care. Roman."

- KENDALL: You know what?
- SHIV: Yeah.

- Betrayal?
- I do, too.

Okay, great. Fucking
family guilt trip.

European vacation. Let's do it.

It's hard. It's been
hard on everybody.

(ROMAN GROANS)

You know that he advised
Tom on the divorce?

Gave him a Dad trick.

Went and spoke to every pit
bull in Manhattan, tied 'em up.

I got Mommed.

I mean, there's
probably one more

horrible motherfucker lawyer

somewhere in the United
States if you wanna look,

but, um, yeah, that
sucks, I'm sorry.

KENDALL: Guys, I feel like
we need to stick together.

And we should push back,
and you should come with us

and we should put
the squeeze on.

Okay, but, we want
to do Pierce, right?

- We want to out, right?
- Yes.

- KENDALL: Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
- Okay.

KENDALL: Just with
just a bit more money.

Yes, but I don't think
Matsson will go up in price.

He won't. I know this
because I have spoken to him.

Oh, well, if that's...
If that's what he said,

- then it must be true. Yeah.
- Okay, seriously,

- I think he might walk.
- Oh, might he?

- ROMAN: Yes.
- Yeah, do you think

he could maybe, like,
is it a possibility

- he could say a... a not...
- Okay.

- like a thing that isn't, a lie?
- KENDALL: Um... Uh...

I mean, why would he say that?

Well, it's
Negotiating 101, Rome.

Did they not teach you that
in management training?

All right, but he... It
sounded like he meant it.

Oh, yeah. That's
Negotiating 102.

- ROMAN: Okay.
- SHIV: It's pretty basic.

Look, I know the
conflict isn't nice,

- but we overcommitted on Pierce...
- ROMAN: Wait, what?

- And this gives the cash...
- ROMAN: I don't give a shit

- about conflict.
- To make it right.

Like, I will conflict
fucking conflict.

- SHIV: Yes, you do. Oh, okay, fine.
- No, I don't.

Well, it is about Dad
feelings for you then.

- Dad feelings?
- SHIV: Yeah.

If anyone here has
fucking Dad feelings,

it's holy shit, poking
Satan with the fork.

I'm genuine about us three.

And stop ganging up on me like
you're Lennon and McCartney

and I'm fucking George.
I'm John, motherfuckers.

Ringo, Yoko.

He's still Connor, but he won
having drinks with us at an auction.

KENDALL: Honestly, though.

I think... going
with Sandi and Stewy

is... is the best
thing for us to do...

- SHIV: Yeah.
- As a team.

It's just a... it's just a move.

It's a... it's a
delay, a couple weeks.

He'll get it. It's what
Dad would do in his prime.

SHIV: Mm-hmm. Exactly.

I guess if it's just
a play, then yeah.

Fuck, yeah, I'm in.

God fucking dammit.

- God fucking dammit.
- ROMAN: Sorry. Sorry.

You ruined it all, you
fucking ruined it all.

- Con, Con, Con.
- Sorry.

CONNOR: You fucked it up.

- What do you wanna do?
- What do I want to do?

I wanted to get
married tomorrow.

- Well...
- I wanted to spend tonight

with my family and
tomorrow with my dad

and I wanted to get
my fucking money out.

What else can we do?

I would like to sing one
fucking song at karaoke

because I've seen
it in the movies,

and nobody ever wants to go.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
- (ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Hey, hey, Kerry, um, s... sorry,

can I possibly please, uh,
grab you just for five minutes?

- Quickly, please, right now?
- Yeah, why not?

You've already grabbed every
other woman in Manhattan.

(CHUCKLES) Thank you. Let's...
let's just head in here.

Uh...

I just wanted to grab
you for a quick moment.

Um, uh, I... I hope I'm not
getting above my station here.

Um, but I wanted to talk to
you about the whole tape thing.

Oh, I... I'm not sure I
wanna talk to you about that.

Oh, yeah. No, fair enough.
Then, just as a friend I...

(INHALES DEEPLY)

I wanted to give you a
heads up on the down-low

on what the murmurs
are, and say, you know,

how careful I have had to be

about my particular
position as a family member

and say how people
chatter so unpleasantly

about accusations of legs-up

- and unfair...
- What is this, Greg?

Just...

Are... are you...

rushing things a bit?

And could... Could
that, long term,

- actually harm your position...
- So, okay, Tom doesn't think

- I'm ready and he's sent you...
- No, no, no.

No, no, no, not at all.

Uh, he thinks you're great.

- Um...
- Oh.

I mean, there's some little
doubts from a focus group

- and they're...
- They focus-grouped me?

GREG: Yes. But... but the big
picture is, what I'm saying.

You know, like, how
Kendall and Shiv

- have an entitlement problem?
- Okay, I'm sorry.

What did they say,
the focus group?

Uh, well, headlines, great...

just maybe not fully there.

And a few criticisms,

- but... but...
- Such as?

Uh, minor shit, like, nothing.
I mean, may... Great package.

Uh, maybe a little, you know,
arm... the arms aren't right,

you know, or they're
a little un-TV.

The arms aren't right?

No... Yeah, but...
but not a biggie.

No, it's fixable
with a few years.

But, uh, no sorry on
TV, this is on TV,

and it can happen th... that
they shoot weird, the cameras...

So, who was in this
focus group, Greg?

Just you?

- No.
- Is it Tom?

- No.
- Logan?

No.

(STAMMERS) It... it's a bunch

of grandpas and little
twerps and such.

- Can I see it?
- No.

- Because?
- Because it's private.

- Well, it's not.
- You can't.

- What if Logan wants to see it?
- It's... I'm sorry,

- it's confidential.
- From the CEO?

- Yes.
- Okay. If this focus group isn't real,

I'm gonna take you apart
like a human string cheese.

Understood.

- ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (DOOR OPENS, SHUTS)

I did the job. (INHALES
DEEPLY) I did the job.

LOGAN: Heard from Connor.

Okay?

The kids, Sandi and Stewy,
they have the numbers

to force us back to the table.

W... what? What do you
do? You want me to call?

You want me to ream
'em out for you?

No. Delicate.

They have some juice here.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

They have some fucking juice.

♪ (UPBEAT CLUB MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

KENDALL: You should share
your fucking dot with Willa.

Then, she'll see that
you're out having fun.

- ♪ (CLUBBER SINGING "WONDERWALL"
BY OASIS) ♪ - ROMAN: I love karaoke,

it's great. Boo, boo!
Your wedding is doomed.

CLUBBER: ♪ I said maybe ♪

Oh! (SIGHS)

- Okay.
- Thank you.

So, what happens now?

Uh, well, someone has
to humiliate themselves

in the shame palace.

Think they have
"Desperado" by The Eagles?

I would imagine they do.
Longest night of my life.

- (INHALES SHARPLY)
- CONNOR: Oh, shit.

- KENDALL: What?
- She's gone dark.

Why has she gone dark?
I mean, is this it?

Is she going off with some buck

- and they're gonna, you know?
- Hey, take it easy.

Maybe... maybe her
phone just died.

Yeah. Have you ever considered

that she might not
be right for you?

This could be good. Yeah?

- Connor?
- SHIV: You'll meet someone else.

You're not doing
better than Willa.

I would agree. Do
not let go Willa go.

Romulus.

So, Dad's on his way.

- What?
- He wants us to meet him

down at the car

- when he gets here.
- What the fuck?

KENDALL: How does
he know we're here?

- How do you know he's coming?
- Well, I told him

that it's the night of a
thousand wobbles over here

- and he needs to talk to you.
- Oh, for fuck's sake, Con.

CONNOR: My life isn't filled
with secrets like some people.

- I share things.
- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

And I want my father
to be at my wedding.

- You mean you want the money?
- Well, no, Siobhan,

that was not my
primary consideration.

I mean, what do we do? Do
we... do we leave? I mean...

Will he come in? He's
not coming in, right?

You know what? Just
be water, my friend.

"Just be wat"...
Wow, thanks, man.

What happens if I
kill a Buddhist?

Do I get reincarnated
as a fucking Buddhist?

SHIV: (SIGHS) I hope not.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

♪ ("FAMOUS BLUE RAINCOAT" BY LEONARD
COHEN PLAYING OVER SPEAKER) ♪

♪ It's four in the morning
The end of December ♪

♪ I'm writing you now Just
to see if you're better ♪

♪ New York is cold But I
like where I'm living ♪

♪ There's music On
Clinton Street ♪

♪ All through the evening ♪

This is Guantanamo-level shit.

- CONNOR: ♪ I hear that you're
building ♪ - What is this, Con?

♪ Your little house... ♪

I think I'd like to hear
"Desperado." Please?

- ♪ Deep in the desert ♪
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)

CONNOR: ♪ You're
living for nothing... ♪

Uh, okay. I don't know
why Dad's calling me.

Well, really he
should be calling me.

What did we say?
Don't answer it.

ROMAN: I'm not. (SNICKERS)

- (CELL PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)
- Hang up.

I could just, uh... Hey! I
was gonna let it ring out.

Oh, shit! Of course. I
didn't think of that.

♪ Mm, with a lock of your hair ♪

Oh, my God.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- ♪ (UPBEAT CLUB MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(DOOR OPENS)

Hey.

Oh, shit.

Can we, uh, go somewhere
else? These lights are...

I could have a seizure.

- We're not going anywhere.
- Fine. Very well.

(LOGAN SIGHS)

- Okay.
- ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

Uh, we won't be needing
you, Kerry. You can...

- Oh, yeah.
- Thank you.

This here is a... A
family fuck-fuck, so...

Ignore me.

LOGAN: Okay, let's
get this figured out

and then I can let you
get back to your fun.

Well, it might've
been a wasted trip.

Wanna give us a quick blast of
"New York, New York" and fuck off?

Well, I... I wanted
to say something.

Yeah? Reasons we should
vote through the sale?

It's... No surprises there.

Unless you do it to the tune
of "The Girl From Ipanema."

Well, um, it's not that. I
mean, um, uh, aside from this,

um, I guess I...

I guess I just...

I... I wanted you there
a bit at my party.

Holy shit.

- Did Dad just say a feeling?
- (SHIV CHUCKLES)

Well, you know, I just...

I thought maybe
it would be nice.

Oh, fuck. Now... now,
it's all coming out.

Oh, my God,
Mr. Melodrama over here.

It's like a fucking telenovela.

Come on, guys, he's
trying something.

Look, you knew I wanted Pierce

from way back.

And when I lost out...

that was not a good feeling.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah, no shit.

We practically had to
walk back from Albany.

Can we just... I'm sorry.
Can we cut the shit?

It's obvious why you're here.

Your father wanted to
address the personal stuff

and not just launch
into the business.

Well, see, this
isn't personal, Dad.

Uh, this is a business decision.
This is about the money.

Look, you're smart to ask
about the money, you are.

But Matsson won't go there.

You haven't been around this,
but I've got done a good deal,

and you'll get enough
to do whatever you want.

I do ATN, you do Pierce.

It'll be a fresh
start for all of us.

It'll make things better,
and it starts there.

All you have to do is vote
yes and support the deal.

Do you know what he's offering?

You can separate the personal
and the business, you can...

- ROMAN: Hmm.
- Reset your dynamic

- as a family.
- SHIV: Oh, super.

We gonna be just how
we, like, we used to be

and... and... and go on
summer vacay together

and drive down Route One in
an RV singing show tunes?

It may be more
complicated than that.

SHIV: Yeah, I mean, I guess

you're still in the
honeymoon period,

so... (CHUCKLES) getting
your own show on TV.

Oh, are you not gonna
be on TV now? No?

SHIV: I'm sorry, is that not...

- ROMAN: Mm.
- Has he fucked you on that?

That'll happen, the fucking.

But congrats on losing
your betrayal cherry.

Enough.

I thought you'd be
interested in an apology,

- but that... that's enough.
- SHIV: Wait, I'm sorry.

An apology? We...
we missed that.

Look, I don't do apologies...

but if it means
so much to you...

then sorry.

There's nothing you
could say to me now

that I would ever believe.

This deal push could be
worth 100 mil to us, Dad.

How many sorrys do
we get for that?

KERRY: Okay, to be clear...

What are you actually
sorry for, Dad?

- SHIV: Hmm.
- Well, I'm sorry

for the helicopter for a start.

Oh! You guys, he's sorry about
the helicopter from today.

Well, that's the
big one, I guess.

- Are we actually doing this, Dad?
- KENDALL: Okay.

'Cause I think, you know...

Seriously, what fucked
all this was when...

- with Mom and Italy...
- Yeah, okay.

I've had certain
thoughts about that.

Look, with the
best of intentions,

I, uh, I got the structure
of the holding company,

the ownership structure
of the, um, family trust.

There is a lack of
clarity and maybe,

maybe you got certain
impressions...

Amazing. You sure you're
not having that seizure?

I mean, he is trying,
right? And what you said

you were interested
in was an apology.

Okay, then. Anything else?

KENDALL: Come on, Dad.
What are you sorry for?

Sorry for fucking
ignoring Connor

- his whole life?
- Bit strong.

Hitting Rome when he was a kid?

Oh, no. I mean,
everyone hit me.

I'm fucking annoying.

For having Connor's
mother locked up?

Can we not do a whole
show trial here?

SHIV: What about advising
Tom on my divorce?

Yeah? I mean, that
one... That took effort.

That was above and beyond.

Tom asked me for advice.
I recommended someone

he could speak to.
You weren't around.

If you'd been around,
I would've offered you

the same advice.

But I can't help you
if you won't see me.

Look, the bottom line is
if we ask for more money,

- Matsson walks. I know that.
- No! You don't know that!

You don't know him!

You don't fucking
know everything!

Just 'cause you say it doesn't
make it true. (CHUCKLES)

Everyone just fucking agrees
with you and believes you,

so it becomes true and
then you can turn around

and say like, "Oh, you
see? See? I was right."

But that is not how it is.
You're a human fucking gaslight!

(SHIV SIGHS)

Fine.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Look, I... I just want
to get us all together.

What you kids don't realize,
this is a good deal.

The world likes
it. It makes sense.

But deals have a
habit of disappearing

because pricks like Matsson
get pissed off or snap. This...

This is fucking real.

Okay, well, I think I can
speak for everyone, can I?

When I say, "Go ask
him for more money."

- But why?
- Just good business sense.

Gotta make our own pile.

- Right, Dad?
- Oh, come on!

Yeah, I mean, it's what
my gut is telling me,

and so I gotta listen to my gut.
It's... it's all I got to go on.

LOGAN: Jesus.

You're such fucking dopes.
You're not serious figures.

I love you...

but you are not...

(SIGHS)

serious people.

♪ (EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(DOOR OPENS, SHUTS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE)

Look at this prick. They
should get out here.

Some cunt doing the tin
cans for his supper,

take a sip of that medicine.

This city... (SCOFFS) The
rats are as fat as skunks.

They hardly care to run anymore.

I don't know. I
don't fucking know.

- ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- The meeting's off.

I need to see Matsson.
It'll be you, me,

Tom, Karl, Frank.

- But no Gerri.
- Fine.

So, how was it for you?
Fucking Dad. (CHUCKLES)

- Amazing, just over too soon.
- ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

- (SHIV CHUCKLES)
- KENDALL: I could've kept going.

(GROANS)

Rome, we're kidding,
man. Kidding.

No, I know. It's
fine. It's cool.

Okay. (INHALES) I'm going home.

Well, I'm sure she'll
be in touch, Con.

CONNOR: You know
what? It's fine.

- KENDALL: Really?
- Yeah.

The good thing about
having a family

that doesn't love you is you
learn to live without it.

- What? Con...
- ♪ (EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

You're all chasing
after Dad, saying,

(WHIMPERS) "Love me, please
love me. I need love.

- I need attention."
- I think that's the opposite

- of what just happened.
- You're needy love sponges.

And I'm a plant that grows on
rocks and lives off insects

that die inside of me.

Jesus Christ, Con. (CHUCKLES)

If Willa doesn't come
back, that's fine.

Because I don't need love.
It's like a superpower.

And if she comes back
and doesn't love me,

that's okay, too,
'cause I don't need it.

Thanks for the party.

Yeah, you're welcome.

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

(SNICKERS)

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

REPORTER: (OVER
TV) Mark Ravenhead

- and Jeryd Mencken is coming up tomorrow night.
- (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

REPORTER: It really
is a must watch.

- LOGAN: Oh!
- Hey, Dad.

Hey! Lookie, lookie
here. Twin Cities Tessie.

- I thought I smelled dairy.
- (EXHALES)

So, um, that just
felt a bit weird,

and there was a
lot going on, so...

Oh, we know what
they're like. (CHUCKLES)

I've pushed the board meeting,
I want you to come with me

and see Matsson tomorrow.
I could use your help.

- Oh, yeah?
- LOGAN: Mm-hmm.

Uh, I mean, it's the
wedding. Con's wedding.

Uh, but that feels...
Yeah, let's see.

Tom?

- Yeah. I'll give you a moment.
- Thank you.

ROMAN: Okay, yeah, sure.

(SUCKS TEETH)

- Here.
- Okay.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(CLICKS TONGUE) There's a Night
of the Long Knives coming.

Cyd's toast. I'm
reinventing ATN.

- ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- LOGAN: I need a fire-breather.

A ruthless fuck who'll
do whatever it takes.

- Maybe I should go.
- You're not Pierce.

ROMAN: Mm.

Smart people know what they are.

I mean, you really
want me at ATN?

More, Romulus. More.

I need you.

♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪