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1
00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,205
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:07,007
Hey, guys, mail's in.
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,676
All right. Let's see.
4
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,678
Mr. Peterson,
5
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,180
Mr. Peterson,
6
00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:13,781
Mr. Peterson...
7
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,317
Occupant...
8
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,387
Mr. Peterson,
9
00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:20,188
Mr. Boyd.
10
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:22,323
Oh, hey, that's me.
11
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,692
Oh, yeah. I ordered this
Weeks ago.
12
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:27,328
This is a whole big book
Of crossword puzzles.
13
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:28,962
All right, let's
Check them out.
14
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,499
This is great because
It has all the answers
In the back,
15
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,367
So we don't have to worry
16
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,103
About all those
Confusing clues.
17
00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:36,170
All rightie.
18
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:39,473
All right.
"1 across--penguin."
19
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:40,574
Ok.
20
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,578
Hey, it fit!
21
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:45,813
All right. Hey.
22
00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:49,517
These are great
Once you get
The hang of them.
23
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:56,190
* sometimes
You wanna go *
24
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:59,660
* where everybody
Knows your name *
25
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:05,333
* and they're always
Glad you came *
26
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,702
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
27
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:11,372
* our troubles
Are all the same *
28
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:12,673
* you wanna go *
29
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:16,110
* where everybody
Knows your name **
30
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,299
Hey, miss howe.
You look nice.
What's the occasion?
31
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:39,600
I just signed up
32
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,735
With an executive
Placement agency,
33
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:44,938
And I have all sorts
Of interviews lined up
This afternoon.
34
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,740
I feel really great
About it.
35
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:50,211
I'm finally gonna get myself out
Of this brain-dead mausoleum.
36
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:52,746
Oh, no offense, guys.
37
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,115
Huh?
38
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:57,985
Well, I'm off.
39
00:01:57,985 --> 00:01:59,587
Good luck,
Miss howe.
40
00:01:59,587 --> 00:02:01,322
Thanks but I don't need it.
I'm wearing my lucky dress.
41
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,590
I can't lose.
42
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:04,258
Hi, sam. I'm off
To get a job.
43
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,459
Nothing can stop me now.
44
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,327
In that?
45
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:07,595
Who am I fooling?
46
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:10,130
They're not gonna hire
A loser like me.
47
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:15,002
Hey, I just saw the neatest
Little present
48
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:16,704
In this kids' shop.
49
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:17,805
Look at this.
50
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:21,008
Does this say little
Freddy crane or what, huh?
51
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:23,544
"Babe hound in training."
52
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,614
Afternoon, all.
53
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:28,949
Hey, it's dr. Crane
And dr. Sternin-crane
54
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:33,587
And little frederick
Crane-sternin-crane-crane.
55
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,524
What can I get you?
56
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,025
I know I could use
A glass of water.
57
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:41,395
Hey. It's
My best pal.
58
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,063
Well, hello to you,
Too, sam.
59
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,532
Oh, hey, frase.
60
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,034
Hi there.
61
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,569
Gimme five.
62
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,504
Pow.
63
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,206
So what
Are you guys
Doing here?
64
00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:53,541
Someone got
A little thirsty
65
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:55,876
While we were playing
In the park.
66
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,378
So he needs
Some juice?
67
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:59,847
You said it.
Scotch on the rocks.
68
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,682
I'm joking.
69
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,684
No, sam. Just
A little apple juice
70
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,186
And a couple
Of ginger ales, and...
71
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,793
We're having
Quality family time.
72
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,127
That's right.
73
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,430
I canceled every single one
Of my appointments today.
74
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,299
I called in sick
To the lab.
75
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,634
I placed some gauze
Over the telephone
76
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:23,637
And altered my voice
So as to appear ill.
77
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:26,274
And the oscar
Goes to...
78
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,777
Here we are, dear.
79
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:32,846
So we
Decided to have
A lovely afternoon
80
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,181
With a picnic,
81
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:36,584
And now we're off
To go fly a kite.
82
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,586
I noticed it was windy, too.
83
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:41,088
I went out and got
Little frederick this kite.
84
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,523
What do you think?
85
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:45,693
I got an idea. Why don't we
Go try these babies?
86
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,828
I'll be right back.
I'm going to get my jacket.
87
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,297
Sam is
Tagging along?
88
00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:51,632
We need some time
To ourselves.
89
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:54,668
Well, you know,
Darling,
It is sam.
90
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:55,636
Frasier,
91
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:58,839
Am I going to have
To play bad cop?
92
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,275
Now let me understand.
93
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:04,612
Are you saying
That up until this point,
94
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,514
You've been
Playing good cop?
95
00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,719
I got an idea.
We can tie your
Little kite to this.
96
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,821
It'll make
A great tail.
97
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:21,529
[doorbell rings]
98
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,997
Coming! I'm coming.
99
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,468
Oh, it's you.
100
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:29,537
Yeah, hi. Hi, lilith.
101
00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:33,374
Hey, look at you.
You got hair like a woman.
102
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:38,245
I'm here to watch
Huckleberry hound.
103
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:40,080
At 5:53 a.M.?
104
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,482
Yeah. Yesterday
Me and freddy
105
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,684
Decided we were going
To watch some cartoons.
106
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:46,587
Who decided?
The child can
Barely speak.
107
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,590
Well, he can nod.
Hey, frasier.
108
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:52,793
Hey, freddy, we're going
To watch some cartoons.
109
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,802
That wasn't sam malone,
Was it?
110
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:05,506
Please tell me
That was an armed intruder.
111
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:08,609
It was sam. Frasier,
You've got to do something.
112
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,611
Every day he gets here
A little earlier,
113
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,280
And every night
He leaves a little later.
114
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,115
Well, darling, he is
Friend of ours.
115
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,050
It's getting so
We can't make love
In the morning.
116
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:20,721
I didn't know we could
Make love in the morning.
117
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,859
We can't. It was
Just a "For instance."
118
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:29,129
The point is
I don't like people
119
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,431
Seeing me in my nightgown.
120
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,600
It undermines my authority.
121
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,002
I really wouldn't
Worry about that, dear.
122
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:39,540
Frasier, do something.
123
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,709
Well, my love,
Let's...
124
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:44,878
Let's try
To use some insight
125
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,847
Into what sam's
Going through.
126
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:50,050
His affection
For frederick is...
127
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,553
Is not unusual,
Under the circumstances.
128
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,788
After all,
He's an aging playboy
129
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:57,324
Who is just now
Coming to realize
130
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,493
That he has nothing
131
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:02,162
And that he's got
No progeny left
132
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,597
To carry on his name.
133
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:06,567
That is a frightening
Revelation for any man.
134
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:10,037
Frasier, it's 5:55
In the morning.
135
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,672
The heave-ho.
136
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:16,977
Sam, could you
Come down here,
Please?
137
00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,180
Oh. Good timing.
Commercial's on.
138
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,483
Sam, there's something
We have to ask you.
139
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:25,586
Good. 'cause there's
Something we have to
Ask you, too.
140
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,954
What's for breakfast?
141
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:31,492
He's reacting
To the nightgown.
142
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:36,196
Sam, as much
As we adore you
143
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,698
And are happy
144
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:39,833
That you've taken
Such an interest
In frederick,
145
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,368
We're
Just not getting
146
00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:42,770
Enough private time
To ourselves.
147
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,772
Oh. Say no more.
I understand.
148
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,273
You guys want to be alone.
149
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:49,543
Why don't freddy and I
Go over to my apartment?
150
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:50,678
You can catch up
With us later.
151
00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:52,379
No, no, sam.
You misunderstand.
152
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,881
We're not saying
That we we want
153
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,516
To be intimate
With each other
Right now.
154
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:58,452
God forbid
While the sun's out.
155
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,155
No. We're just saying
156
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:05,425
We'd like to spend
The day with our son--
157
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,994
Just the three of us.
158
00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:08,128
Oh.
159
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,631
Well, shoot. You should
Have told me sooner.
160
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:13,433
I mean, I don't want
To horn in on you guys.
161
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,836
Tell you what, freddy,
We'll have to watch cartoons
Some other time, all right?
162
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,839
Why don't you now
Go over to your daddy?
163
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,041
There we go.
Go to daddy.
164
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,210
[crying]
165
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,978
Go on, freddy.
It's ok.
166
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:27,581
Oh, fine.
167
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:28,916
Now you see
What you've done?
168
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:31,652
My son likes you
Better than he likes me.
169
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,053
No. Don't be silly.
Come on,
170
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,656
Go to daddy.
You'll have fun.
He loves you.
171
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,658
Oh. Now you're
Being sarcastic.
172
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,661
I'm not
Being sarcastic.
173
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:43,196
Come on. Go to
Your daddy. Go on.
174
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,532
Ok. Come on.
175
00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:46,033
Go to your other daddy.
176
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,868
Go to uncle frasier.
177
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:51,238
Sam, you have turned
My son against me.
178
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,907
If you 2 don't mind,
I think I'll take
Our little wishbone
179
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,909
Into the kitchen
For breakfast.
180
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,912
Well, this is...
181
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,682
Frase, I'm sorry.
182
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,250
Sam, he's my son!
183
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,719
I made him.
I get to keep him!
184
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:08,922
Come on, frase,
Calm down.
185
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,924
This is my house,
My child,
186
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,626
And my wife
Who thanks to you
187
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,494
I don't even have time
To love to in the morning!
188
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,495
I thought
You said--
189
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,630
All right, I'm raving!
190
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:25,338
I'm sorry.
It's just, uh...
191
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,707
I like your kid.
192
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,508
I didn't know
I liked kids
Before.
193
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,912
If you like kids so much,
Why don't you get
One of your own?
194
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:33,346
Oh, sam.
195
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,682
Look, I'm sorry.
196
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,283
You know I love you.
197
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:37,985
I think you're one
Of the greatest guys
In the world.
198
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:40,721
It's just a little bit early
On saturday morning
199
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,690
To lose the love
Of your child.
200
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,627
Now, if you can
Just excuse me,
201
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,962
I'm gonna go try to bond
With my son
202
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,898
Over a bowl
Of froot loops.
203
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:52,900
Oh, god,
I love froot loops.
204
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,569
Sorry. Sorry.
205
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:06,680
Oh, hey, miss howe,
How was your
Interview?
206
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,349
Did it go any better
Than the others?
207
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,351
Oh, yeah.
It was the usual.
208
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,153
I was
In the waiting room
209
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,656
And got nervous
And had a quick cigarette,
210
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,791
And that
Was pretty much that.
211
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,972
Think you could
Stop throwing that thing?
212
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:33,707
Why? It gives me
Something to do.
213
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:40,447
We got to talk.
214
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:42,382
It's ever since I've
Been hanging around
215
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:43,617
With frasier's kid--
216
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:44,918
[knock knock]
217
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:53,593
Sammy, you don't expect me
To pay for this beer,
Do you?
218
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,562
No.
219
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:56,697
Good.
220
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,307
Come on.
What's wrong?
221
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,977
Do you think
Guys have
A biological clock,
222
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:13,380
You know, like they
Know when it's time
To have a kid?
223
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:14,381
Oh, yeah.
224
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,683
Usually when they say,
225
00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:18,585
"Hey, carla, you want
To go out tonight?"
226
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,287
Come on.
What's on your mind?
227
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,090
Well,
I've been thinking.
228
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,092
You know, I'm--I'm not
That young anymore.
229
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:26,593
It's not that I'm old.
230
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:28,295
It's just
That I'm not young.
231
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:30,664
I'm not old old.
I'm just youngish.
232
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,666
I'm--
I'm a youngish man.
233
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,068
Please go on.
234
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,838
Well,
I'm thinking about...
235
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:40,040
I'm thinking
About being a dad.
236
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,675
What?
237
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,343
Yeah.
238
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,478
I've been playing around
All my life,
239
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,181
And, I don't know,
Maybe I'm missing something.
240
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,317
Have you thought
About getting a dog?
241
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,385
I don't want a dog.
242
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,187
I want
Someone to be with,
243
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:57,024
To take care of,
To watch grow.
244
00:10:57,024 --> 00:11:00,427
Have you thought
About getting
A plant?
245
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:03,330
You don't think
I'll be a good father?
246
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,631
Oh, no.
247
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,633
No. I think you'd
Be a great father.
248
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:09,236
So you have
A mother picked out?
249
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:12,139
No. Not really.
250
00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:12,940
Oh.
251
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:14,474
Does that mean,
Uh...
252
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,076
You're not
Going to ask me?
253
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,645
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't
Think about that.
254
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:19,913
Yeah. Would you?
255
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,681
What are you, nuts?
256
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:26,854
You think I'm gonna
Go through labor
An eighth time
257
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,555
Because you're
A little lonely?
258
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:31,158
Selfish bastard.
259
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,828
Aw, you know,
It doesn't matter.
260
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:36,363
What the heck.
261
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,664
I know
A hundred woman.
262
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,166
What
Am I talking about?
263
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,768
I know
Thousands of women.
264
00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:42,102
What
Am I talking about?
265
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,104
I know tens of
Thousands of women.
266
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,538
What
Am I talking about--
267
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:50,577
Sammy, now,
Just think about this
For a minute.
268
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,946
Do you really,
Really want this?
269
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:55,682
Yeah. I really,
Really want this.
270
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,684
Come on, sam.
271
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,019
Do you have any idea
272
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:02,155
What it means
To have a kid?
273
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,690
It's changing
Dirty diapers
274
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,692
And getting spit-up
Stains
275
00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:07,828
On the shoulders
Of your best clothes.
276
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,197
Ear infections
In the middle of the night
277
00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:12,699
And shoving antibiotics
Down their throats
278
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,201
And worrying about them
279
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:15,869
Every day
And every night
280
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,871
For the rest
Of your life.
281
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,407
How does that sound?
282
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,342
Sounds cool.
283
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:26,279
Yeah.
284
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,848
It is, kind of.
285
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:34,454
Would they, like, really
Spit up on leather?
286
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:38,291
Oh, they know fabrics.
287
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:52,005
So who's going
To be the mom?
288
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:53,506
I haven't
Figured that out
Yet, woody,
289
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:56,376
But she's got to be
Somewhere in here...
290
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,846
Or here...
291
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,353
What about miss howe?
292
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,488
She's getting up there
Like you.
293
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,758
She's probably about
Ready to have a kid.
294
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,126
She's very responsible.
295
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,562
I think that was
My best interview yet.
296
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,564
I think they really
Were impressed with me
297
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:20,767
Until I accidentally
Knocked the ceo
Into the fax machine
298
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:23,570
And sent a copy
Of his butt to wichita.
299
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:27,240
See, sam? You could
Have asked her just now.
300
00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:30,510
Wait a minute. Here you go.
301
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,811
Now, this could work out.
302
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,780
What am I doing?
What am I going to say?
303
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,782
I have to figure out
How to word this.
304
00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:36,783
Hold on a second.
305
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:39,286
Excuse me. Miss?
306
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:41,488
Can I ask you
A question?
307
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:42,622
Sure.
308
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,124
Just hypothetically,
Now,
309
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:46,126
Say someone you've been
Dating a couple times
310
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,794
Calls you up and says,
311
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:49,662
"Hey, we had
Some laughs together.
312
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,364
What say
We have a baby?"
313
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:52,966
I'm not talking
Commitment here.
314
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,402
Don't misunderstand me.
Maybe yes, maybe no.
315
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:56,803
Picture is,
316
00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:58,805
Get pregnant,
Have the baby,
317
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:01,141
Give it to me, go away.
318
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:04,611
You know,
Just offhand,
319
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:06,213
How would you
React to that?
320
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:08,248
How would I react
If a guy called me up
321
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,984
And asked me
To be a breeder for him?
322
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:14,587
To be sort of an incubator
For his seed?
323
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:15,755
Yeah. Exactly.
324
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,757
But wait a second.
Let me...
325
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,259
Let me
Get a pencil.
326
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,760
I want
To write this down.
327
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:21,895
Ok.
328
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:28,201
Ok. Incubator...
329
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,372
Breeder...
330
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:36,076
Red flag words.
331
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,013
You know, uh...
332
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,448
If it's a boy,
333
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:44,751
I just hope he names it
Clifford clavin malone.
334
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,653
I don't care what he
Names it
335
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,488
As long as
He doesn't
Bring it in here.
336
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,991
If there's one thing
I can't stand
It's babies.
337
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:52,392
Come on, mr. Krapitz.
338
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,694
Wouldn't you like
A helpless little guy,
339
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:55,996
All soft and cuddly,
340
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:58,598
Who you could burp
Every once in a while?
341
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:03,270
Yeah, we need
Another one of those.
342
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:08,942
Sam.
343
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,479
Listen, sam, I...
344
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,881
I'd like to apologize
About this morning
345
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,683
When I kicked you out.
346
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,485
I...
347
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:21,121
I forgot how much
Freddy means to you
348
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:23,790
And how much
You mean to him.
349
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,058
I also forgot
350
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,493
Lilith and I
Have tickets
351
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,128
To jerome robbins'
Broadway tonight.
352
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,497
100 bucks a throw,
I'm not missing that.
353
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,632
Have fun, freddy.
Daddy loves you.
354
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:38,905
Want me to lock up?
355
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:42,042
I got to wait
For frasier and lilith.
356
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:43,043
Good night.
357
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:44,611
Good night.
358
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,314
Hey, little buddy.
359
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:49,116
So...
360
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:52,385
What do you want
To watch here, frederick?
361
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,787
Congress and the
Administration--
362
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,289
24-hour news.
363
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,491
The city council
Both turned down--
364
00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:00,493
Headline news.
365
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,495
Local news.
366
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,664
Aw, hey. Elvis.
367
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:08,901
* I love you *
368
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:14,674
* and
Blue hawaii **
369
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:19,979
Hey, sam.
370
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:20,980
What?
371
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,182
Sam.
372
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:24,451
Who's there?
373
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,686
No. Up here, sam.
It's me--elvis.
374
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,125
Elvis?
375
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,493
Yeah, come on
Over here, man.
376
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,562
I don't want to
Have to shout at you.
377
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,699
I'm having a dream
About elvis.
378
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:45,405
What do you want
With me, elvis?
379
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,709
I want to tell you
Something.
380
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,711
You're right about
Wanting a child.
381
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,980
The best thing
That ever
Happened to me
382
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,315
Was
Having lisa marie.
383
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:57,217
Here.
Isn't she precious?
384
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,220
Yeah. And she's
A real cutie.
385
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:02,222
You'd be happy
To know, elvis,
386
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:04,257
She turned out to be
A real babe.
387
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,060
Sam, don't make me
Come through this tv.
388
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:10,897
I'm sorry.
389
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:13,433
This baby's going
To need a mama, sam.
390
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,168
Yeah, I know that,
Elvis,
391
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,837
But I can't
Think of anybody.
392
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:20,340
I just think you're
Overlooking someone.
393
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,141
Who?
394
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,143
Miss rebecca howe.
395
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,944
Rebecca?
396
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:26,579
Miss rebecca.
397
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:30,350
She's been
A true friend,
398
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,352
And you've been
Through so much
Together.
399
00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:34,487
There's
A lot of love
In her heart.
400
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,456
She has no one
To give it to.
401
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,658
And she's
A handsome woman.
402
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,593
Miss rebecca? Really?
403
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:44,397
Think about it, sam.
I know I'm right.
404
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,732
Now if you'll
Just excuse me,
405
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,301
I got to go back and
Frolic on a beach
406
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,470
Or jump
In a stock car race.
Or something.
407
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:53,140
I don't know
What they got me doing
In this one.
408
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,807
Later, sam.
409
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,116
Isn't this sweet?
410
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:06,619
My son and his baby-sitter
Passed out in a bar.
411
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,791
[imitates
Fussing baby]
412
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,126
No. It's ok.
413
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:14,127
Sam.
414
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,262
Ooh.
415
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,998
I've got him, sam.
Thanks.
416
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,133
Yeah.
417
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,972
Say, frasier.
418
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,507
Whew.
419
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:30,109
The weirdest thing
Just happened to me.
420
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,479
I could have sworn
421
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:36,516
I just had a conversation
With elvis presley.
422
00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:39,519
Well, sam, I've had
Four or five patients
423
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,521
That have had
The same experience.
424
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:44,724
I'll simply tell you
What I told them.
425
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,659
The man is dead.
426
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:02,742
Hi, sam.
427
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:03,876
Hi.
428
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:06,045
What are you
Doing back here?
429
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:08,548
It's my night
To lock up.
430
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:12,051
Besides, it looks
Like I'll still be
Working here anyway.
431
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,553
Nobody else wants me.
432
00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:15,054
I'm sorry
To hear that.
433
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:17,757
Yeah, well, maybe I've been
Barking up the wrong tree
434
00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,226
My whole life--
435
00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:20,560
All these big dreams
436
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,764
About being a big
Corporate executive,
437
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,234
Having a lot of power,
438
00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:29,569
A lot of control.
439
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:33,373
I don't know why I've been
Knocking my brains out.
440
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:34,674
Maybe
I should have settled
441
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,376
For some dumb,
Ordinary jerk
442
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,211
And raised a family.
443
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:39,812
Wow.
444
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,889
What?
445
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,558
Uh, it's just, uh...
446
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:54,561
You know,
I've been thinking
The same thing,
447
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,563
Only, you know,
I was thinking
448
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:58,565
That you should
Have a child
449
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,767
With someone
Who was good-looking
450
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,669
And really cool.
451
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:06,306
Yeah, well, I don't know
Anybody like that.
452
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,241
What about me?
453
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:10,243
Why? You know
Somebody like that?
454
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,611
No. You know, I...
455
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,614
What I mean is,
I was thinking that...
456
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:17,750
You and I should
Have a baby together.
457
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,489
Oh, come on, sam.
458
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,624
No. Why? Why not?
Think about it.
459
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,626
You and I
Are good friends.
460
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,328
Hell, you're
My best friend,
461
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,630
And we've been
Through a lot together.
462
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:33,132
You have a lot
Of love to give,
463
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,768
[imitating elvis]
And you're
A handsome woman.
464
00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:41,308
Well, I'm flattered.
465
00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:43,943
I'm not ready
To have a baby, sam.
466
00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:47,179
I got a lot of
Things left to do
In life.
467
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:48,648
Yeah? Like what?
468
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:49,516
Like a lot.
469
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:50,717
All right,
Name one.
470
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:51,718
Well,
471
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,620
I'd always planned
On growing old
472
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,422
And, you know,
Dying alone.
473
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,658
You can still do that.
474
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,660
You don't just,
You know...
475
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:03,630
Go out and have a baby
With somebody.
476
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:04,997
Why not?
477
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:06,766
I don't know why not.
478
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,034
Then why not?
479
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:09,201
Why with you?
480
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,637
Why not?
481
00:21:10,637 --> 00:21:11,704
W-we--
482
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,776
Why not?
483
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,645
I mean, we could.
484
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:19,446
Yeah.
485
00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:20,880
Your mom did it.
486
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,214
My mom did.
487
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,584
Carla does it
All the time.
488
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:29,789
I mean, I...
Why shouldn't we?
489
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,791
Maybe this would
Be something
490
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,993
That I'd finally
Be good at.
491
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:36,663
So...
492
00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:38,030
Will you?
493
00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:40,600
Ok.
494
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,604
Let's have a baby.
495
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:56,248
I think this is
Gonna change my whole life.
496
00:21:56,248 --> 00:21:57,550
Oh, yeah.
497
00:21:57,550 --> 00:22:00,487
I think no more
Rebecca the jerk,
498
00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:02,422
No more rebecca
The goonball,
499
00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:04,491
Rebecca the loser.
500
00:22:04,491 --> 00:22:05,858
Rebecca the mother.
501
00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:08,861
I'm going to have
A brand-new human baby.
502
00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:14,066
I get to feed her,
And I get to hold her.
503
00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,068
Oh! I can't wait!
504
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:17,870
You know, a new life,
505
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:21,708
A new life that depends
Completely on me.
506
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:24,110
[rip]
507
00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:33,486
Can you believe it?
I forgot my coat.
508
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:35,955
I guess I'm just
So excited about this.
509
00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:39,459
I don't know.
I'm going to be a mommy!
510
00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:44,931
A mommy!
511
00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:50,537
You'd better be right,
Elvis.
34673
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