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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,736 --> 00:00:26,832 I want to thank everyone for giving up your lunch hours. 2 00:00:26,906 --> 00:00:29,306 It's so exciting for all of us. 3 00:00:29,576 --> 00:00:30,941 Happy to be here. 4 00:00:33,513 --> 00:00:35,845 - Who wants to start us off? - I'll be happy to. 5 00:00:36,015 --> 00:00:37,983 Gwen, why don't you start us off? 6 00:00:38,051 --> 00:00:40,178 - Do you need the pointer? - No. 7 00:00:40,353 --> 00:00:42,685 - I'll hold onto it then. - She's fine. Gwen? 8 00:00:42,822 --> 00:00:46,223 There is a concern that I have that I think needs addressing is that... 9 00:00:46,326 --> 00:00:49,159 we can't the Port-o-Potties too far off the route. 10 00:00:49,229 --> 00:00:50,924 Because we have a lot of seniors. 11 00:00:50,997 --> 00:00:52,259 That's solved. 12 00:00:52,499 --> 00:00:57,095 We'll put the Port-o-Potties right here, they won't be in the way. 13 00:00:57,170 --> 00:00:58,899 We'll put a receptacle... 14 00:00:59,005 --> 00:01:02,031 here near Arts and Crafts. - You mean the big bins? 15 00:01:02,208 --> 00:01:05,405 And we've got barrels, too. We'll put barrels on every corner. 16 00:01:05,745 --> 00:01:08,270 - That's the crate? - No, that's the big barrel. 17 00:01:09,048 --> 00:01:11,778 - You got the pie-eating going on here. - It's a dumpster. 18 00:01:11,851 --> 00:01:14,786 If anything happens like last year with that pie-eating... 19 00:01:14,854 --> 00:01:16,651 Which brings me to a point. 20 00:01:16,756 --> 00:01:17,984 Security. 21 00:01:18,358 --> 00:01:20,349 Security. I say we put... 22 00:01:21,027 --> 00:01:22,585 a rifle on here... 23 00:01:22,862 --> 00:01:25,490 a man with a rifle here and a rifle here. 24 00:01:25,565 --> 00:01:28,193 - Protect the whole square... - Is that really necessary? 25 00:01:28,268 --> 00:01:31,396 - Every year he brings this up. - Remember we got egged last year? 26 00:01:31,738 --> 00:01:33,365 We're pleased as punch. 27 00:01:34,808 --> 00:01:39,609 We're so proud. Whatever we do here is a first for Blaine and for Missouri. 28 00:01:39,712 --> 00:01:42,943 Whatever we do will be the standard against which... 29 00:01:43,082 --> 00:01:46,779 all other sesquicentennials, that's the 150... 30 00:01:47,053 --> 00:01:48,247 will be judged. 31 00:01:48,321 --> 00:01:52,815 The people of Blaine are "can do" people. There's a saying in Missouri: 32 00:01:53,193 --> 00:01:55,593 "If you don't like the weather wait five minutes." 33 00:01:55,662 --> 00:01:58,187 In Blaine, I honestly believe... 34 00:01:58,765 --> 00:02:01,791 with hard work, we can get that down to three or four minutes. 35 00:02:02,669 --> 00:02:04,899 In our sesquicentennial year, we've a lot... 36 00:02:04,971 --> 00:02:07,337 to talk about, to be proud of. 37 00:02:07,574 --> 00:02:10,202 The world should know more about Blaine. 38 00:02:11,778 --> 00:02:14,508 We're chomping at the bit certainly from this end. 39 00:02:14,581 --> 00:02:18,039 It all started with Blaine Fabin. 40 00:02:18,117 --> 00:02:19,880 He was hired by 30 settlers... 41 00:02:20,019 --> 00:02:23,250 to lead a wagon train expedition from Philadelphia to California. 42 00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:27,321 On the 14th night, they were sitting around the campfire... 43 00:02:27,393 --> 00:02:29,691 and Blaine said, "Do you smell it? 44 00:02:29,829 --> 00:02:32,593 "Do you smell the salt in the air? We are here. 45 00:02:32,665 --> 00:02:34,496 "I've brought you to California." 46 00:02:34,567 --> 00:02:37,661 There was a big party. Next morning they got up... 47 00:02:38,471 --> 00:02:42,237 they didn't see the ocean, because they were in Missouri. 48 00:02:43,476 --> 00:02:47,105 Blaine convinced them for a while that it was low tide. 49 00:02:47,180 --> 00:02:50,081 But what happened was he'd made mistakes: Bad weather... 50 00:02:50,149 --> 00:02:52,481 he wasn't familiar with the proper route... 51 00:02:53,019 --> 00:02:55,852 but it turns out everyone was happy to be where they were. 52 00:02:55,922 --> 00:02:59,050 They said, "It's okay we didn't get to California. We'll stay." 53 00:02:59,292 --> 00:03:01,089 That's why I'm at this desk. 54 00:03:01,728 --> 00:03:05,494 I'm proud to say I'm a direct descendent of Blaine Fabin. 55 00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,829 I've lived here all my life... 56 00:03:08,902 --> 00:03:12,963 as did my parents and their parents and their parents and their parents... 57 00:03:13,039 --> 00:03:14,734 and so on and so forth. 58 00:03:14,841 --> 00:03:18,504 I'm very excited about the show coming up because... 59 00:03:18,811 --> 00:03:20,745 it'll the first time I'll have... 60 00:03:20,813 --> 00:03:25,750 the experience of sitting in the audience and seeing actors portray... 61 00:03:25,985 --> 00:03:28,385 my ancestor... 62 00:03:28,521 --> 00:03:30,045 the actual Blaine Fabin. 63 00:03:30,823 --> 00:03:34,452 Being a Fabin is not always easy. 64 00:03:35,194 --> 00:03:37,719 I can certainly understand how the Kennedy's feel. 65 00:03:39,032 --> 00:03:40,863 I had been living in New York... 66 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,900 and working there as an actor... 67 00:03:42,969 --> 00:03:46,200 and director and choreographer for 25 years or so. 68 00:03:46,406 --> 00:03:48,738 And I really felt I needed a change. 69 00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:51,901 I imagined in my fantasy, I suppose... 70 00:03:52,145 --> 00:03:56,206 that when I came here, I would have a completely different life. 71 00:03:59,319 --> 00:04:01,219 A construction worker... 72 00:04:01,287 --> 00:04:05,951 or one of those guys that works on those high-wire things that... 73 00:04:06,192 --> 00:04:10,458 with the hard hat, that sweeping sort of hat and... 74 00:04:10,797 --> 00:04:12,094 with the chaps. 75 00:04:13,299 --> 00:04:15,130 But that didn't really work out. 76 00:04:15,201 --> 00:04:19,433 I began to realize, I guess, that the theater was still in my blood... 77 00:04:19,505 --> 00:04:22,668 and what I had to do was make use of that. So... 78 00:04:23,242 --> 00:04:26,143 I offered my services to the high school here... 79 00:04:26,245 --> 00:04:29,942 and they accepted, and I began to teach drama. 80 00:04:30,316 --> 00:04:34,082 Within about six months I had formed the Blaine Community Players. 81 00:04:34,354 --> 00:04:38,620 We're excited about the show that's happening at the end of the festival. 82 00:04:40,293 --> 00:04:44,627 Everyone right now is just going crazy getting ready to audition. 83 00:04:44,697 --> 00:04:47,723 Unfortunately I won't be able to audition. We have to stock... 84 00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:50,869 that day and can't get out of it. And Corky will not... 85 00:04:50,937 --> 00:04:55,874 let me audition any other time. He said, "That's show business," and... 86 00:04:56,075 --> 00:04:58,737 he's the master, you must give him credit for that. 87 00:04:59,212 --> 00:05:02,670 President McKinley did a whistle stop tour back in 1898. 88 00:05:03,116 --> 00:05:06,415 And, a little boy, Jimmy McBean, made a stool for him. 89 00:05:06,486 --> 00:05:09,250 He loved it so much that he called back and said: 90 00:05:09,322 --> 00:05:13,190 "I'd like to give more of these to dignitaries who are visiting." 91 00:05:14,093 --> 00:05:18,621 Before you knew it, Blaine is manufacturing footstools. 92 00:05:18,698 --> 00:05:22,759 And that's how the big... that's how we got the stool boom. 93 00:05:23,169 --> 00:05:26,002 Blaine became the Stool Capital of the World. 94 00:05:27,073 --> 00:05:31,032 My first show was Barefoot in the Park, which was an absolute smash. 95 00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:36,241 But my stage production of Backdraft was what really got them excited. 96 00:05:36,549 --> 00:05:38,483 This whole idea of... 97 00:05:38,551 --> 00:05:41,987 in-your-face theater really affected them. 98 00:05:42,121 --> 00:05:45,921 The conceptualization, the abstraction, the obtuseness... 99 00:05:45,992 --> 00:05:48,688 of this production was what was interesting. 100 00:05:48,795 --> 00:05:51,787 I wanted the audience to feel the heat... 101 00:05:52,198 --> 00:05:56,931 from the fire. The fear, because people don't like fire poked... 102 00:05:57,070 --> 00:05:58,560 poked in their noses. 103 00:05:58,638 --> 00:06:01,630 When you get a barbecue cinder on your nose... 104 00:06:01,908 --> 00:06:04,900 and you make that face? That's not a good thing. 105 00:06:04,977 --> 00:06:07,844 I wanted them to have the sense-memory of that. 106 00:06:07,914 --> 00:06:09,711 So, during the show... 107 00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:14,417 we burned newspapers and sent it through the vents in the theater. 108 00:06:16,089 --> 00:06:17,181 They freaked out. 109 00:06:17,256 --> 00:06:21,750 Of course the Fire Marshall came over and shut us down for two days. 110 00:06:22,195 --> 00:06:25,289 Mr. Bluestein, Montezuma's Revenge is no more than... 111 00:06:25,364 --> 00:06:27,889 good old-fashioned American diarrhea. 112 00:06:28,267 --> 00:06:31,498 Adult diapers should never even enter the picture. 113 00:06:32,271 --> 00:06:34,501 So you lose a few pounds. 114 00:06:35,441 --> 00:06:38,274 My mom said that "Blaine's a little town... 115 00:06:38,344 --> 00:06:41,677 "...with a big heart in the heart of a big country." 116 00:06:41,881 --> 00:06:45,009 To me, Blaine is a kind of town where... 117 00:06:45,118 --> 00:06:47,177 I can have my own business... 118 00:06:47,687 --> 00:06:50,520 meet and marry a wonderful woman like Sheila... 119 00:06:50,656 --> 00:06:52,624 and be something. 120 00:06:52,759 --> 00:06:54,158 Be somebody. 121 00:06:54,460 --> 00:06:57,657 Some people find it ironical that we run a travel agency... 122 00:06:57,730 --> 00:06:59,994 and we've never left Blaine. 123 00:07:00,066 --> 00:07:01,590 With one exception. 124 00:07:03,069 --> 00:07:04,627 You left Blaine. 125 00:07:05,037 --> 00:07:08,029 I went to Jefferson City once, it was a... 126 00:07:08,207 --> 00:07:09,435 Tell them why. 127 00:07:09,642 --> 00:07:11,337 It was a medical reason. 128 00:07:13,513 --> 00:07:14,912 You can tell them. 129 00:07:14,981 --> 00:07:16,915 Just minor surgery. 130 00:07:21,754 --> 00:07:23,813 I've worked here at the DQ for about... 131 00:07:28,161 --> 00:07:29,651 eight months? 132 00:07:29,829 --> 00:07:30,989 Seven? 133 00:07:31,664 --> 00:07:34,326 I don't know, something like that. It's fine. 134 00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:35,797 You just do the cones. 135 00:07:36,569 --> 00:07:39,060 Make sundaes. Make Blizzards... 136 00:07:39,572 --> 00:07:41,597 and put stuff on them and... 137 00:07:42,675 --> 00:07:45,735 See a lot of people come into the DQ. 138 00:07:45,945 --> 00:07:47,003 Burgers. 139 00:07:47,079 --> 00:07:48,376 Ice cream. 140 00:07:49,015 --> 00:07:50,676 Anything, you know? 141 00:07:51,851 --> 00:07:55,753 Cokes. Just drive in and get a Coke if you're thirsty. 142 00:07:56,823 --> 00:08:00,884 Everybody thinks Roswell was the first UFO sighting... 143 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,428 in the United States and that's bullroar. 144 00:08:03,496 --> 00:08:05,691 We had the first sighting here 1946. 145 00:08:05,798 --> 00:08:08,426 It wasn't just a sighting. It didn't just fly by. 146 00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:09,991 They stopped, they landed. 147 00:08:10,069 --> 00:08:13,766 The people went on board the ship for a potluck dinner. 148 00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:18,777 I've been coming out to this landing site every day for two years. 149 00:08:19,278 --> 00:08:20,768 To measure it. 150 00:08:21,214 --> 00:08:22,875 And here's the thing. 151 00:08:23,216 --> 00:08:27,949 The circumference and the diameter change by a few inches. 152 00:08:28,087 --> 00:08:30,385 Yet the radius remains the same... 153 00:08:30,823 --> 00:08:33,053 which brings me back to the number five. 154 00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:36,322 There are five letters in the name Blaine. 155 00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:40,991 Mix the word Blaine up, mix it around, eventually you'll get Nebali. 156 00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:45,399 Nebali. The name of the planet in a galaxy... 157 00:08:45,638 --> 00:08:47,230 way, way... 158 00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:49,501 way far away. 159 00:08:49,575 --> 00:08:52,373 I'll tell you, once you step inside this circle... 160 00:08:53,913 --> 00:08:57,076 the weather never changes. It is always... 161 00:08:57,350 --> 00:08:58,942 67 degrees... 162 00:08:59,018 --> 00:09:01,350 with a 40 percent chance of rain. 163 00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:02,318 Always. 164 00:09:03,356 --> 00:09:05,688 I love to make people laugh... 165 00:09:05,825 --> 00:09:09,226 and I've been doing it since, you know, school. 166 00:09:09,295 --> 00:09:11,195 People ask me, "Were you..." 167 00:09:11,264 --> 00:09:14,756 You know, "You must've been the class clown." 168 00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:18,136 And I say: "No, I wasn't." 169 00:09:19,438 --> 00:09:21,633 But I sat beside the class clown... 170 00:09:21,707 --> 00:09:23,504 and I studied him... 171 00:09:25,311 --> 00:09:27,779 and saw how he made people laugh... 172 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:32,340 and so I picked some things up and at parties and family functions... 173 00:09:32,418 --> 00:09:37,048 I have to say, I love, you know, breaking people up, so... 174 00:09:37,123 --> 00:09:41,856 There's a thing that I think I got, an entertaining bug... 175 00:09:42,461 --> 00:09:45,555 from my grandfather, Chaim Pearlgut... 176 00:09:45,765 --> 00:09:50,759 who was very big in the Yiddish theater back in New York. 177 00:09:51,003 --> 00:09:52,470 He was in the... 178 00:09:52,538 --> 00:09:56,804 very, the sardonically irreverent Dybbyck Schmybyck... 179 00:09:57,243 --> 00:09:59,473 "I Said, 'More Ham."' 180 00:09:59,812 --> 00:10:03,043 And that review, I believe was 1914... 181 00:10:03,115 --> 00:10:06,278 and that review is what made him famous. 182 00:10:06,419 --> 00:10:11,823 Incidentally, the song Bubi Made a Kishka came from that review. 183 00:10:12,258 --> 00:10:13,919 My father... 184 00:10:14,193 --> 00:10:16,525 bless him, brought me into the business. 185 00:10:16,629 --> 00:10:19,462 This was his dental practice before. 186 00:10:19,732 --> 00:10:23,259 And I joke with my wife that, you know, at that point... 187 00:10:23,336 --> 00:10:26,567 that's when the money started... 188 00:10:26,939 --> 00:10:29,100 rolling in, you know. 189 00:10:30,276 --> 00:10:32,039 "Brave making... 190 00:10:32,345 --> 00:10:35,610 "...more wampum to buy pelts. 191 00:10:38,751 --> 00:10:41,652 "One happy squaw in wigwam... 192 00:10:41,921 --> 00:10:43,980 "...happy as mongoose." 193 00:10:45,257 --> 00:10:46,747 That... 194 00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:50,020 is, of course, from Johnny Carson, who... 195 00:10:50,196 --> 00:10:52,596 one of my heroes, in a very funny bit. 196 00:10:53,599 --> 00:10:57,296 "When I see lips waiting to be kissed 197 00:10:57,503 --> 00:11:00,495 "I can't stop I can't stop 198 00:11:00,673 --> 00:11:04,404 "For that lightning Oh, it's striking 199 00:11:04,643 --> 00:11:05,803 "Again 200 00:11:08,381 --> 00:11:11,441 "Lightning's striking 201 00:11:11,517 --> 00:11:14,509 "Again and again and again and..." 202 00:11:19,058 --> 00:11:22,425 I'm going to do a scene from the movie Raging Bull. 203 00:11:25,064 --> 00:11:26,725 You fuck my wife? 204 00:11:27,233 --> 00:11:28,291 What? 205 00:11:28,934 --> 00:11:30,424 You fuck my wife? 206 00:11:30,803 --> 00:11:35,137 How can you ask me, I'm your brother and you ask me that? 207 00:11:35,341 --> 00:11:37,832 Where'd you get the balls big enough to ask me that? 208 00:11:37,910 --> 00:11:41,744 Basically, for the last 15 years I have been... 209 00:11:42,081 --> 00:11:43,571 the music teacher... 210 00:11:43,649 --> 00:11:45,344 at Blaine High. 211 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:51,822 A very important part of my job is to put on a show... 212 00:11:51,924 --> 00:11:54,620 every year, which I've done, completely by myself. 213 00:11:55,161 --> 00:11:58,927 This year it's going to be different, because Corky... 214 00:11:59,532 --> 00:12:02,695 being from New York, being a professional... 215 00:12:03,169 --> 00:12:05,160 and having put on some... 216 00:12:05,304 --> 00:12:08,535 very theatrical productions here... 217 00:12:10,776 --> 00:12:15,338 is going to be directing the show this year. And I'll be... 218 00:12:15,481 --> 00:12:18,075 the musical director, which is different for me. 219 00:12:22,121 --> 00:12:24,112 "Teacher's pet 220 00:12:24,390 --> 00:12:27,791 "I want to be teacher's pet 221 00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:29,557 "I want to be 222 00:12:29,929 --> 00:12:31,624 "Huddled and cuddled 223 00:12:31,697 --> 00:12:34,359 "As close to you as I can get 224 00:12:37,703 --> 00:12:39,330 "Teacher's pride 225 00:12:40,005 --> 00:12:43,441 "I want to be teacher's pride" 226 00:12:50,649 --> 00:12:51,843 Doctor Pearl! 227 00:12:51,917 --> 00:12:53,908 How are you? Ron Albertson. 228 00:12:54,019 --> 00:12:57,352 My wife, Sheila, you remember her from previous bills. 229 00:12:59,525 --> 00:13:01,755 - What are you doing here? - I'm here... 230 00:13:01,994 --> 00:13:04,019 trying out for the big show. 231 00:13:04,096 --> 00:13:06,496 - Congratulations. - No, why are you here, really? 232 00:13:06,665 --> 00:13:10,499 I told my wife I'd come out for this show and give it... 233 00:13:10,569 --> 00:13:12,264 I thought I'd give it a shot. 234 00:13:12,338 --> 00:13:15,398 Give it your best shot. It won't be the first shot you ever gave. 235 00:13:15,474 --> 00:13:17,465 Hope it doesn't leave Corky numb. 236 00:13:17,543 --> 00:13:20,011 It's like pulling teeth to get a discount from him. 237 00:13:20,079 --> 00:13:23,913 Give some caramels to the little girl. Future customers, Doc. 238 00:13:24,283 --> 00:13:28,049 "So I can be teacher's pet 239 00:13:28,187 --> 00:13:31,247 "Long after school is through 240 00:13:31,557 --> 00:13:35,186 "Teacher, teacher, I love you" 241 00:13:42,468 --> 00:13:43,492 Maybe just... 242 00:13:46,639 --> 00:13:50,302 "I dream of Jeannie 243 00:13:50,409 --> 00:13:54,470 "With the light brown hair 244 00:13:55,548 --> 00:13:58,642 "Floating like a vapor 245 00:13:59,084 --> 00:14:03,282 "On the soft summer air" 246 00:14:03,989 --> 00:14:04,887 Look out. 247 00:14:04,957 --> 00:14:08,791 "Camptown races sing this song Doo dah doo dah 248 00:14:08,861 --> 00:14:10,761 "Camptown racetrack five miles long 249 00:14:10,963 --> 00:14:14,126 "Doo dah day Going to run all night 250 00:14:14,567 --> 00:14:18,503 "Going to run all day Bet my money on the bobtailed nag 251 00:14:18,637 --> 00:14:20,298 "Somebody bet on the bay 252 00:14:20,406 --> 00:14:23,534 "Bay bay bay 253 00:14:23,976 --> 00:14:26,035 "Way down 254 00:14:26,145 --> 00:14:28,978 "Upon the Swanee River 255 00:14:36,455 --> 00:14:41,358 "Floating like a vapor 256 00:14:41,961 --> 00:14:46,261 "On the soft summer 257 00:14:46,966 --> 00:14:48,957 "Air" 258 00:14:59,478 --> 00:15:02,072 - Very nice. - Very, very, that was very good. 259 00:15:02,548 --> 00:15:05,608 - Well, thank you, Dr. Pearl. - Thank you very much. 260 00:15:06,852 --> 00:15:08,149 We'll let you know. 261 00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:10,051 - Very good. - Thank you. 262 00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:16,888 - He's good. - He can actually sing, you know. 263 00:15:30,643 --> 00:15:31,871 Ding dong. 264 00:15:32,811 --> 00:15:36,406 I wonder who knows I'm vacationing here at The Oasis? 265 00:15:38,183 --> 00:15:39,207 Am I late? 266 00:15:39,285 --> 00:15:41,480 - You! - Surprised? 267 00:15:41,754 --> 00:15:44,655 - How did you find me? - I have my ways. 268 00:15:44,857 --> 00:15:47,121 Would you like to come in for coffee? 269 00:15:47,693 --> 00:15:50,821 "You don't need to answer 270 00:15:51,730 --> 00:15:54,062 "There's no need to speak 271 00:15:55,934 --> 00:15:58,903 "I'll be your belly dancer 272 00:15:59,438 --> 00:16:01,167 "Prancer 273 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,034 "And I will be your sheik 274 00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:07,606 "I don't need a harem honey 275 00:16:09,281 --> 00:16:11,476 "When you're by my side 276 00:16:12,318 --> 00:16:15,378 "And you won't need a camel 277 00:16:15,788 --> 00:16:20,350 "No, no, when I take you for a ride" 278 00:16:20,993 --> 00:16:23,188 We'll need coffee to go with that ride. 279 00:16:23,262 --> 00:16:26,026 You're always full of surprises. 280 00:16:26,632 --> 00:16:29,066 I wonder, do we have time for that coffee? 281 00:16:29,134 --> 00:16:30,499 What time is it? 282 00:16:30,703 --> 00:16:32,500 Haven't you been paying attention? 283 00:16:32,571 --> 00:16:36,803 - "It's Midnight at The Oasis" - "It's Midnight at The Oasis" 284 00:16:39,511 --> 00:16:40,705 - Thank you. - Good. 285 00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:42,670 That was great. 286 00:16:43,248 --> 00:16:45,716 - Really good. - Well, thanks a lot. 287 00:16:46,018 --> 00:16:47,417 And thanks for coming. 288 00:16:47,686 --> 00:16:50,655 - Should we leave the... - Why don't you put that back there. 289 00:16:50,723 --> 00:16:51,849 Strike it? 290 00:16:52,825 --> 00:16:56,261 We've done a few shows for Corky, and we know the terms. 291 00:16:56,395 --> 00:16:59,489 Thanks so much. It was really fun. Thank you. 292 00:17:03,635 --> 00:17:05,466 I'm feeling good... 293 00:17:05,904 --> 00:17:09,203 about where we stand now with our cast. I think that... 294 00:17:09,475 --> 00:17:10,965 the elements... 295 00:17:11,143 --> 00:17:15,807 as Dr. Watson said to Sherlock, "are coming together, sir." 296 00:17:16,115 --> 00:17:17,844 I'm very excited about... 297 00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:21,215 Ron and Sheila, the old standbys, the work horses. 298 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,254 I call them the Lunts of Blaine. 299 00:17:23,856 --> 00:17:27,792 Allan Pearl. Interesting. Where do they come from? 300 00:17:28,060 --> 00:17:32,292 Sure, I'd seen him around, but I'd never walk up to the... 301 00:17:32,664 --> 00:17:36,100 dentist and say, "Are you interested in this?" 302 00:17:36,935 --> 00:17:39,733 I was shopping for my wife Bonnie. 303 00:17:39,872 --> 00:17:42,363 I buy most of her clothes. 304 00:17:42,841 --> 00:17:44,172 And... 305 00:17:44,543 --> 00:17:47,341 Mrs. Pearl was in the same shop. 306 00:17:47,579 --> 00:17:51,310 And it just was an accident. We started talking... 307 00:17:51,817 --> 00:17:54,479 about panty hose and she was saying... 308 00:17:54,553 --> 00:17:57,852 Whatever, that's not the point of the story. The point... 309 00:17:57,923 --> 00:18:02,257 was that through this accidental meeting, it's like, you know... 310 00:18:02,461 --> 00:18:04,793 like a Hitchcock movie where you're... 311 00:18:04,863 --> 00:18:09,061 thrown into a rubber bag and put in the trunk of a car. 312 00:18:10,102 --> 00:18:11,865 You find people. 313 00:18:12,104 --> 00:18:13,401 You find them. 314 00:18:13,505 --> 00:18:15,939 Something. Is it karma? 315 00:18:16,809 --> 00:18:18,037 Maybe. 316 00:18:19,912 --> 00:18:22,540 But we found him. That's the important thing. 317 00:18:22,681 --> 00:18:25,047 And I got Bonnie a wonderful pantsuit. 318 00:18:25,517 --> 00:18:29,146 They took me into a separate room. They took different people... 319 00:18:29,221 --> 00:18:31,951 different ones of us off in separate rooms... 320 00:18:32,224 --> 00:18:34,624 and they put me on a big white table. 321 00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:36,020 And... 322 00:18:36,128 --> 00:18:39,859 the guy that took me there, that took me in there... 323 00:18:39,965 --> 00:18:42,832 to examine me, I guess, he probed me and then... 324 00:18:42,901 --> 00:18:46,837 I was there, I bet, more than three or four hours in that room... 325 00:18:46,905 --> 00:18:49,806 being probed and at one time or another... 326 00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:53,538 different ones of them come in four, five, six at different times... 327 00:18:53,645 --> 00:18:55,545 and all of them probed me. 328 00:18:56,448 --> 00:18:58,939 Not all at once. Individually. 329 00:18:59,184 --> 00:19:02,585 Later on, years later, now even still... 330 00:19:03,121 --> 00:19:07,057 It's a funny thing. It happened on a Sunday and every Sunday... 331 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:11,318 about the time that I was taken on board that ship... 332 00:19:13,131 --> 00:19:15,429 I find I have no feelings in my buttocks. 333 00:19:16,268 --> 00:19:20,728 Casting a show is really only the beginning of the process. 334 00:19:20,906 --> 00:19:23,898 There's also the whole design concept. 335 00:19:24,076 --> 00:19:26,840 What fabrics will work for the costumes. 336 00:19:27,012 --> 00:19:29,537 The lighting. And it really becomes... 337 00:19:29,648 --> 00:19:31,377 a wrassling match, I guess... 338 00:19:31,483 --> 00:19:34,281 between me and the muse of theater... 339 00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:36,884 and most of all, dance. 340 00:19:56,008 --> 00:19:58,772 Close your eyes. I want you to try something. 341 00:19:58,911 --> 00:20:03,075 What are you thinking? What are you feeling right now with your eyes closed? 342 00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:08,147 I feel a bree... You're blowing in my ear. 343 00:20:08,287 --> 00:20:12,189 You jumped to a conclusion. See, what I'm asking for is... 344 00:20:12,291 --> 00:20:15,818 your first feeling was not that I was blowing on you. 345 00:20:15,894 --> 00:20:17,555 It was more like... 346 00:20:18,363 --> 00:20:20,126 Virgin Isles or... 347 00:20:20,465 --> 00:20:22,558 Bahamanian... 348 00:20:22,668 --> 00:20:24,260 or Arubian... 349 00:20:24,536 --> 00:20:27,767 He's at his rehearsal. He's at his first rehearsal. 350 00:20:28,006 --> 00:20:30,907 I don't know what they're doing, I've never been to one. 351 00:20:31,143 --> 00:20:34,408 I bet they're introducing themselves to each other. 352 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:38,741 It's going to be nice to meet some of these new folks... 353 00:20:38,817 --> 00:20:42,719 'cause we don't socialize with the creative types. 354 00:20:42,821 --> 00:20:46,814 We got our Scrabble club and stuff and... 355 00:20:47,693 --> 00:20:50,560 and other people with babies. 356 00:20:57,703 --> 00:21:00,035 The exercises all mean something. 357 00:21:00,305 --> 00:21:02,671 Even if you don't know what. 358 00:21:03,408 --> 00:21:06,866 Dr. Pearl, he'll come around and... 359 00:21:07,779 --> 00:21:09,906 he'll learn like... 360 00:21:10,182 --> 00:21:12,548 Ron and Sheila and I have learned... 361 00:21:12,718 --> 00:21:14,481 that Corky has a vision. 362 00:21:27,032 --> 00:21:28,624 Forget about it! 363 00:21:34,940 --> 00:21:37,932 Here it's okay, but he thought I was going to... 364 00:21:40,545 --> 00:21:41,876 I... 365 00:21:42,147 --> 00:21:43,512 I’m walking... 366 00:21:43,715 --> 00:21:44,807 on air. 367 00:21:44,950 --> 00:21:48,545 You know, this is a sensation which is... Forget it. 368 00:21:48,820 --> 00:21:52,017 When I became a dentist I thought I was happy, but this... 369 00:21:52,090 --> 00:21:54,888 is making me nervous now because... 370 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,458 I could've wasted a lot of years. 371 00:21:57,796 --> 00:22:01,823 I was very shocked to see that Dr. Pearl had actually been cast. 372 00:22:02,034 --> 00:22:03,228 Then I thought... 373 00:22:03,468 --> 00:22:07,564 We're in a glamour profession as travel agents and he isn't. 374 00:22:07,973 --> 00:22:11,807 One project: we must loosen him up. I feel he's a little tight... 375 00:22:12,010 --> 00:22:14,001 especially when he's with us. 376 00:22:14,079 --> 00:22:15,444 He won't mind jokes. 377 00:22:15,514 --> 00:22:19,348 - Your experience is intimidating! - I can't help it. I know. 378 00:22:19,518 --> 00:22:22,078 Ron'll help everyone... 379 00:22:22,254 --> 00:22:25,018 he gives me, in all the productions we've been in... 380 00:22:25,090 --> 00:22:27,957 and when we do scene studies at home together... 381 00:22:28,093 --> 00:22:32,996 Ron will have extensive, you know, hour, two-hour sessions of notes for me. 382 00:22:33,198 --> 00:22:37,794 - It's so helpful. Lately we've been... - For us both. You just get most of them. 383 00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:41,403 He's trying to help me change my instincts or at least ignore them. 384 00:22:43,542 --> 00:22:46,477 Listen, let me tell you why I'm here. 385 00:22:46,545 --> 00:22:50,311 We're doing a show. I won't beat around the bush. I wrote a show... 386 00:22:50,682 --> 00:22:54,880 about the 150th anniversary of Blaine. I know you're an old Blainian. 387 00:22:57,255 --> 00:23:00,952 And you're right for one of the parts. It's the Narrator... 388 00:23:01,126 --> 00:23:02,457 in the show. 389 00:23:02,694 --> 00:23:04,559 One of the actor parts? 390 00:23:04,796 --> 00:23:06,024 I don't know. 391 00:23:06,998 --> 00:23:09,796 You're being modest, 'cause I heard you've had some... 392 00:23:09,868 --> 00:23:11,426 history in show business. 393 00:23:11,903 --> 00:23:14,997 Well, you know, I did have a, I had a... 394 00:23:15,307 --> 00:23:19,539 hankering to be an actor when I was young, when I left the Coast Guard. 395 00:23:19,811 --> 00:23:24,646 I went to taxidermy school instead. I took a correspondence course. 396 00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:26,774 I'll tell you, Mr. Wooley... 397 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:30,714 what I'm looking for in my shows are actors... 398 00:23:31,022 --> 00:23:33,490 and people that are willing to work hard. 399 00:23:34,426 --> 00:23:36,553 Yeah, I'm a hard worker as you can see. 400 00:23:36,628 --> 00:23:39,893 - I love all the work you've done. - Thanks. 401 00:23:39,965 --> 00:23:44,231 That's a little gun rack made out of deer hooves. 402 00:23:45,604 --> 00:23:48,937 Boy, I didn't know deer's could do that. 403 00:23:53,178 --> 00:23:57,205 This comes out of left field but I'm looking for another actor. 404 00:23:57,282 --> 00:24:01,275 I was wondering if you had any interest in participating in the show. 405 00:24:01,353 --> 00:24:03,446 Does that appeal to you in any way? 406 00:24:03,522 --> 00:24:05,683 I'm not much of an actor. I'm sorry. 407 00:24:05,757 --> 00:24:07,520 - No, I mean... - I've never done... 408 00:24:07,592 --> 00:24:09,753 anything like that before really. 409 00:24:10,028 --> 00:24:13,395 Okay. Fair enough, but it might be interesting, you know. 410 00:24:14,833 --> 00:24:17,461 Do you get off tonight? What time do you get off tonight? 411 00:24:17,536 --> 00:24:19,265 Well, I get off at 8:00. 412 00:24:19,404 --> 00:24:20,803 At 8:00 tonight? 413 00:24:21,139 --> 00:24:23,664 Really. That's a long day. 414 00:24:24,576 --> 00:24:26,305 Dad, this is Mr... 415 00:24:26,411 --> 00:24:27,878 - St. Clair. ...St. Clair. 416 00:24:27,946 --> 00:24:29,379 - He's a drama guy. - Yeah. 417 00:24:30,282 --> 00:24:32,580 - At 8:00 you're off, though. - Right. 418 00:24:32,818 --> 00:24:35,412 I must tell you I'm not much of an actor or singer. 419 00:24:35,487 --> 00:24:37,148 You know, that's what... 420 00:24:37,255 --> 00:24:40,315 Charles Laughton said, and look what happened. 421 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:44,055 Did you change the fan belt on that blue Chevy? 422 00:24:44,229 --> 00:24:45,924 I haven't done that yet. 423 00:24:46,064 --> 00:24:48,396 When you get done, will you get on that? 424 00:24:51,770 --> 00:24:53,203 So, how tall are you? 425 00:24:53,271 --> 00:24:55,364 - 6' 2". - Really. 426 00:24:59,311 --> 00:25:01,711 "It's all the same" 427 00:25:02,113 --> 00:25:04,741 When we say, "Nothing ever happens in Blaine"... 428 00:25:04,816 --> 00:25:06,807 could we try... 429 00:25:06,952 --> 00:25:09,318 you two singing it "Blaine"... 430 00:25:09,521 --> 00:25:12,046 where we really hear the "n" at the end... 431 00:25:12,123 --> 00:25:15,684 and you guys just go, "Nothing ever happens in Blay." 432 00:25:15,961 --> 00:25:17,895 Don't say the "n," they say the "n's". 433 00:25:17,963 --> 00:25:23,367 Then you sing, "It's all the same," and you sing, "It's all the say." 434 00:25:23,702 --> 00:25:26,933 Let's try it once. Okay, Jeannie, one, two, three, and... 435 00:25:27,038 --> 00:25:29,006 I know it's hard to jump in... 436 00:25:29,307 --> 00:25:32,504 because it must seem like, you know, a new world. 437 00:25:33,612 --> 00:25:37,605 We'll ease you into it. And if you ever have any questions you can always... 438 00:25:37,949 --> 00:25:39,007 call me up. 439 00:25:39,084 --> 00:25:42,417 I'll give you my private number. It's not listed, so don't lose it. 440 00:25:42,487 --> 00:25:45,217 And do not give it out to anyone. 441 00:25:45,657 --> 00:25:47,284 "How high a ridge... 442 00:25:47,459 --> 00:25:49,222 "...I could not tell... 443 00:25:49,294 --> 00:25:52,127 - "...for the sun..." - Okay, but not... 444 00:25:52,230 --> 00:25:56,462 not pinching your shirt. I want you to hook in those thumbs. 445 00:25:56,568 --> 00:25:58,058 Yeah, there you go. 446 00:25:59,571 --> 00:26:01,562 Yeah, just... That's right. 447 00:26:01,873 --> 00:26:04,637 "How high a ridge I could not tell." 448 00:26:04,709 --> 00:26:08,008 See what's happening with your voice? It's like you're... 449 00:26:08,113 --> 00:26:11,605 squeezing your boobies out, and it'll go out into that audience. 450 00:26:11,683 --> 00:26:14,413 Pushing it right out. I could try it out. 451 00:26:16,154 --> 00:26:19,214 "How high a ridge I could not tell." 452 00:26:29,467 --> 00:26:30,695 Keep in time. 453 00:26:34,205 --> 00:26:35,331 Robin in the nest. 454 00:26:44,849 --> 00:26:46,339 "By the pool 455 00:26:46,584 --> 00:26:49,576 "In the stool by the fire Yule 456 00:26:49,654 --> 00:26:51,315 "It's the rule! 457 00:26:51,389 --> 00:26:53,550 "Every stool there's a stool! 458 00:26:53,625 --> 00:26:54,956 "Stools are where 459 00:26:55,026 --> 00:26:58,018 "Once upon a time you'd find a chair 460 00:26:58,096 --> 00:26:59,757 "A chair is for fools 461 00:26:59,831 --> 00:27:02,493 "Everybody wants stools 462 00:27:02,567 --> 00:27:04,228 "Stool boom 463 00:27:04,302 --> 00:27:07,294 "From the parlor to the pool room 464 00:27:07,372 --> 00:27:10,364 "Everyone knows our name" 465 00:27:10,775 --> 00:27:13,266 - Whose script is that? - Sorry. 466 00:27:16,348 --> 00:27:18,509 "Starting, stopping never breathing, working..." 467 00:27:23,855 --> 00:27:26,323 I don't want to interfere, but... 468 00:27:27,292 --> 00:27:28,953 I think it would be... 469 00:27:31,296 --> 00:27:33,491 we must work on... - I can't hear you. 470 00:27:33,565 --> 00:27:36,898 I think we must work on the music a little more... 471 00:27:37,168 --> 00:27:39,329 but I don't want to make trouble... 472 00:27:39,404 --> 00:27:40,564 so... 473 00:27:41,106 --> 00:27:43,939 I don't want to do this in front of them. 474 00:27:44,676 --> 00:27:46,974 - I think... - Where do you want to do it? 475 00:27:47,045 --> 00:27:50,378 I think we have to sit down and make a schedule... 476 00:27:50,749 --> 00:27:54,685 that includes some music time 'cause I think... 477 00:27:54,986 --> 00:27:56,180 Jean and I... 478 00:27:56,721 --> 00:27:58,951 have to work... - Why are you whispering? 479 00:27:59,024 --> 00:28:01,185 I'm right here, you know. 480 00:28:01,426 --> 00:28:04,361 I'm sorry, do you want me to talk louder? 481 00:28:05,897 --> 00:28:07,797 Because I think... 482 00:28:07,866 --> 00:28:09,766 Now it's too loud. 483 00:28:10,168 --> 00:28:13,035 Just talk like a normal person, okay? 484 00:28:13,304 --> 00:28:16,034 I think what they were doing was good. 485 00:28:16,341 --> 00:28:17,330 For me. 486 00:28:17,409 --> 00:28:20,640 Rehearse, get it perfect. You know what you're doing. 487 00:28:20,712 --> 00:28:22,646 - Then what? - Then you forget about it. 488 00:28:22,714 --> 00:28:25,581 Let me pinpoint you. You said they learn it, they forget it. 489 00:28:25,784 --> 00:28:27,718 - And that's okay. - That's great. 490 00:28:27,819 --> 00:28:30,413 - They've forgotten it... - But they never learned it. 491 00:28:30,488 --> 00:28:33,116 When do they learn it? When do we... 492 00:28:33,224 --> 00:28:37,217 If they're going to forget it anyway then what difference does it make? 493 00:28:37,796 --> 00:28:42,130 It's like one of those, it's like a Zen thing. 494 00:28:42,233 --> 00:28:43,962 It's like, you know... 495 00:28:44,169 --> 00:28:46,501 how many babies fit... 496 00:28:46,771 --> 00:28:51,174 in the tire thing. That whole, the old joke, you know. 497 00:28:52,310 --> 00:28:55,108 You have a point. It's an interesting point. 498 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,409 How'd you find this place? 499 00:29:01,086 --> 00:29:03,953 - We've been coming here for many years. - Every Thursday. 500 00:29:04,589 --> 00:29:07,490 With the rehearsals, you won't be able to now. 501 00:29:07,625 --> 00:29:08,387 True. 502 00:29:08,460 --> 00:29:10,690 In China they kill a monkey at the table... 503 00:29:10,762 --> 00:29:13,424 and split its head open, eat the brains right there. 504 00:29:15,667 --> 00:29:18,761 We had friends, Barbara and Bruce, remember? 505 00:29:18,903 --> 00:29:21,098 They went to China... 506 00:29:21,473 --> 00:29:25,432 you're in travel I'm sure you've been to Peking, where ducks are made... 507 00:29:25,510 --> 00:29:27,000 and what they say... 508 00:29:27,078 --> 00:29:30,275 is that the food over there is not as good. 509 00:29:30,381 --> 00:29:34,078 You can't get a sauce as thick and sweet. They don't make it like that. 510 00:29:34,152 --> 00:29:36,882 - The food is steamed. - They should've called you. 511 00:29:36,955 --> 00:29:38,183 That's right. 512 00:29:38,490 --> 00:29:42,085 We got good packages. If you want to get down to Miami... 513 00:29:42,227 --> 00:29:44,627 we've got a great package. A week, two weeks. 514 00:29:44,729 --> 00:29:45,787 Really. 515 00:29:46,231 --> 00:29:49,689 You get any kind of food in Blaine. You don't... 516 00:29:50,335 --> 00:29:52,496 You get Chinese here and... 517 00:29:52,570 --> 00:29:54,936 no need to... - We're talking about Miami now. 518 00:29:55,006 --> 00:29:58,908 - We'd love to. Is it direct? - It's a great package, one or two weeks. 519 00:29:59,210 --> 00:30:01,178 There're no Chinese people in Miami? 520 00:30:01,246 --> 00:30:04,340 - We should. - Of course there are! 521 00:30:04,482 --> 00:30:08,714 - We're talking about China. - I'm talking about going to Miami. 522 00:30:09,687 --> 00:30:12,053 Eat something before you have more wine. 523 00:30:12,223 --> 00:30:13,918 What's it, what's it... 524 00:30:14,959 --> 00:30:16,392 Girl talk. 525 00:30:16,728 --> 00:30:19,720 What's it like to be with a circumcised man? 526 00:30:21,533 --> 00:30:24,058 I'd ask you more about that but Ron said... 527 00:30:24,669 --> 00:30:26,864 the whole Jew thing's not... 528 00:30:28,806 --> 00:30:30,740 When Ron had his surgery... 529 00:30:31,876 --> 00:30:34,845 I said, "Circumcise it while you're at it." 530 00:30:34,946 --> 00:30:36,914 I've never been with anyone else. 531 00:30:36,981 --> 00:30:41,077 - Ron's the only man I've been with. - What kind of surgery did you have? 532 00:30:41,286 --> 00:30:43,117 Minor corrective surgery. 533 00:30:43,188 --> 00:30:45,019 Can we have some coffee, please? 534 00:30:45,089 --> 00:30:46,920 It's not minor anymore. 535 00:30:49,460 --> 00:30:51,587 - We should change the subject. - No. 536 00:30:51,930 --> 00:30:55,093 I had what, you know, most guys, would... 537 00:30:55,733 --> 00:30:58,167 dream of, you know. I had to have... 538 00:30:58,770 --> 00:31:01,466 penis reduction surgery. - I'm sorry? 539 00:31:01,606 --> 00:31:02,868 Penis reduction. 540 00:31:03,174 --> 00:31:06,701 You'll say, "Never heard of it," 'cause there aren't many cases. 541 00:31:06,878 --> 00:31:08,812 I said, "Ron, do something." 542 00:31:09,047 --> 00:31:12,847 He said, "Why don't you get one of those vagina enlargements?" 543 00:31:12,917 --> 00:31:14,976 Dear, could we have some coffee? 544 00:31:15,053 --> 00:31:18,079 - You tried the egg rolls? Unbelievable. - They're good. 545 00:31:18,723 --> 00:31:20,247 You're a medical man. 546 00:31:20,325 --> 00:31:22,486 I want to ask you something. 547 00:31:24,195 --> 00:31:25,560 For heaven's sake, no! 548 00:31:25,630 --> 00:31:27,461 - I just want you... - Don't do that. 549 00:31:27,532 --> 00:31:31,992 Medicine man not go near dances with stumpy, no! 550 00:31:32,337 --> 00:31:33,895 Everybody, everybody... 551 00:31:34,072 --> 00:31:36,563 I have a little announcement to make. 552 00:31:37,008 --> 00:31:39,340 I wasn't going to tell you. I sent out... 553 00:31:39,510 --> 00:31:43,378 ten letters to different producers in New York City. 554 00:31:43,548 --> 00:31:46,483 This is from the Oppenheimer Organization. 555 00:31:47,151 --> 00:31:48,914 "Dear Mr. St. Clair... 556 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:54,280 "...ln response to your letter re: Blaine, Missouri's 150th anniversary... 557 00:31:54,692 --> 00:31:57,422 "...and the debut of your original musical... 558 00:31:57,528 --> 00:31:59,496 "...Red, White and Blaine... 559 00:31:59,864 --> 00:32:03,823 "...the Oppenheimer Organization is delighted to inform you... 560 00:32:03,901 --> 00:32:06,529 "...that it will send a representative... 561 00:32:06,604 --> 00:32:09,903 "...Mr. Mort Guffman, to view the production... 562 00:32:09,974 --> 00:32:12,204 "...and enlighten us with his comments." 563 00:32:12,277 --> 00:32:13,574 How about that. 564 00:32:14,012 --> 00:32:17,379 "Thank you for the invitation." And it says, "Best regards... 565 00:32:17,749 --> 00:32:20,240 "...Samuel Oppenheimer, Junior." 566 00:32:22,553 --> 00:32:24,350 What does this mean, Corky? 567 00:32:24,656 --> 00:32:28,990 What it means is we may be going to Broadway. 568 00:32:38,503 --> 00:32:42,599 My aunt brought out her atlas that I look at a lot. 569 00:32:42,707 --> 00:32:44,436 This big blue book and... 570 00:32:44,942 --> 00:32:48,969 opened up to New York and it's an island, is really what it is. 571 00:32:49,847 --> 00:32:52,509 It's this island full of people of... 572 00:32:53,184 --> 00:32:56,642 different colors and different ideas and I can't... 573 00:32:56,754 --> 00:33:01,020 It sounds like a lot of fun to me. We don't see much of that... 574 00:33:01,392 --> 00:33:02,882 in Blaine. 575 00:33:03,127 --> 00:33:04,458 I'd like to... 576 00:33:04,696 --> 00:33:06,789 maybe meet some guys, some... 577 00:33:07,031 --> 00:33:09,295 Italian guys or... 578 00:33:09,534 --> 00:33:11,126 watch TV and stuff. 579 00:33:11,569 --> 00:33:16,131 I'll be glad to do the show on Broadway, and there will probably be other offers. 580 00:33:16,207 --> 00:33:17,572 Keeping our fingers crossed. 581 00:33:17,675 --> 00:33:21,668 But I don't know if the theater and the stage is for me. 582 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:26,517 There's a lot of memorizing of lines. I think you know what I'm thinking. 583 00:33:26,718 --> 00:33:30,415 - Yeah, that's always been in the way. - The ultimate goal, Hollywood. 584 00:33:30,888 --> 00:33:35,587 Even when I was a kid doing impressions: "Here's looking at you, babe" and... 585 00:33:36,494 --> 00:33:40,988 "You don't care about anyone but yourself." 586 00:33:41,566 --> 00:33:44,660 Who is it? Henry Fonda. I always have to say who I'm doing. 587 00:33:44,736 --> 00:33:46,863 She laughs and says, "Who's that?" 588 00:33:46,938 --> 00:33:50,339 There's the germ in my mind that that's where I'd end up... 589 00:33:50,408 --> 00:33:54,401 on the silver screen. You got the face for it too, darling. 590 00:33:54,579 --> 00:33:57,070 I want to try that "less is more" acting... 591 00:33:57,482 --> 00:34:02,112 where when you talk to someone you close your eyes, then look at them... 592 00:34:02,186 --> 00:34:07,123 when you're not talking to them. Talking to them, you go like that... 593 00:34:07,425 --> 00:34:10,826 and you open your eyes, then you look back at them. 594 00:34:11,362 --> 00:34:13,125 The Guffman news is really big. 595 00:34:13,698 --> 00:34:17,794 I don't truthfully think that the cast understand... 596 00:34:18,536 --> 00:34:19,764 how big. 597 00:34:19,937 --> 00:34:23,566 They don't know the New York thing. They haven't been through it and I have. 598 00:34:23,641 --> 00:34:25,871 So, it's kind of on my shoulders. 599 00:34:27,845 --> 00:34:31,906 Going to the Big Apple for the first time is... 600 00:34:32,450 --> 00:34:36,386 such an experience, you never forget it. It stays with you for your whole life. 601 00:34:36,454 --> 00:34:40,618 Me, you know, right out of the Navy, fresh off a destroyer... 602 00:34:41,259 --> 00:34:46,162 with a dance belt and a tube of Chapstick, not much to call my own. 603 00:34:46,297 --> 00:34:49,824 And then basically being slammed down for... 604 00:34:50,234 --> 00:34:53,965 ten or so years, you know, off-off-off-off-Broadway... 605 00:34:54,071 --> 00:34:57,472 and then, enough is enough. I get the joke. 606 00:34:58,476 --> 00:35:01,639 Will that happen again? I don't want it to happen again. 607 00:35:01,813 --> 00:35:06,113 In my deepest, deepest of hearts I do not want it to happen again. 608 00:35:06,250 --> 00:35:09,686 Mr. Guffman brings with him a reputation. 609 00:35:09,854 --> 00:35:13,415 Something bigger than anyone in this town has ever known... 610 00:35:13,491 --> 00:35:16,153 and if I am to get back to New York City... 611 00:35:16,828 --> 00:35:19,922 on my terms I cannot deliver him... 612 00:35:20,264 --> 00:35:23,256 a stinky product. I really have to be... 613 00:35:23,434 --> 00:35:24,924 presenting him... 614 00:35:25,102 --> 00:35:27,502 a package. A beautifully wrapped... 615 00:35:27,672 --> 00:35:28,832 glossy... 616 00:35:29,006 --> 00:35:30,735 sweet-smelling show. 617 00:35:31,776 --> 00:35:33,334 What I need... 618 00:35:33,644 --> 00:35:36,135 from you, because you're the bosses... 619 00:35:36,214 --> 00:35:39,513 of the town essentially, and I know that, is... 620 00:35:41,319 --> 00:35:44,152 This is so hard. There's nothing easy about this. 621 00:35:44,422 --> 00:35:47,152 It's like getting your legs waxed... 622 00:35:47,225 --> 00:35:49,420 and they whip that thing off real fast. 623 00:35:49,594 --> 00:35:51,994 That's what this is like. 624 00:35:52,663 --> 00:35:53,687 I need... 625 00:35:53,764 --> 00:35:55,493 more money. 626 00:35:57,602 --> 00:36:00,070 Steve's right. How much do you need? 627 00:36:02,473 --> 00:36:04,134 What I need... 628 00:36:05,710 --> 00:36:07,940 is $100,000. 629 00:36:20,091 --> 00:36:22,685 Let me explain, let me explain what... 630 00:36:23,895 --> 00:36:27,558 Oh, man, my heart stopped for a second. 631 00:36:27,665 --> 00:36:31,897 - Let me explain really what that entails. - I bought it all the way. 632 00:36:33,671 --> 00:36:35,639 He's serious, Glenn. 633 00:36:36,173 --> 00:36:38,733 - He's not kidding. - Our entire budget... 634 00:36:39,010 --> 00:36:40,534 for the entire year is... 635 00:36:40,611 --> 00:36:44,240 $15,000 for everything and that includes swimming. 636 00:36:44,815 --> 00:36:46,783 I don't have any swimming in my show. 637 00:36:46,851 --> 00:36:50,218 No, I mean the pool. That's the entire year. 638 00:36:50,521 --> 00:36:53,490 - We have a manager. - $100,000? 639 00:36:54,025 --> 00:36:58,359 You're a nice fellow, and we're all glad you're here, but if I may be blunt... 640 00:36:58,462 --> 00:36:59,929 what's wrong with you? 641 00:37:02,900 --> 00:37:06,461 What I'm understanding here, and correct me if I'm wrong... 642 00:37:06,537 --> 00:37:08,664 is that you're not giving me... 643 00:37:08,906 --> 00:37:10,100 any money. 644 00:37:10,174 --> 00:37:12,734 Now I'm left basically with nothing. 645 00:37:12,810 --> 00:37:17,179 I'm left with zero, in which... What can I do with zero? 646 00:37:18,449 --> 00:37:21,612 I can't do anything. This is my life here we're talking about. 647 00:37:21,686 --> 00:37:24,951 Not something else. We're talking about my life. 648 00:37:25,489 --> 00:37:27,957 It's forcing me to do something I don't want to do. 649 00:37:28,559 --> 00:37:29,526 To leave. 650 00:37:29,594 --> 00:37:34,827 To go out and just leave and go home and make a clean cut here... 651 00:37:34,966 --> 00:37:38,800 and say, "No way, you're not putting up with these people." 652 00:37:38,970 --> 00:37:43,339 Why can't I put up with you people? Because you're bastard people. 653 00:37:43,741 --> 00:37:46,972 That's what you are. You're bastard people and I'll go home... 654 00:37:47,645 --> 00:37:51,081 to bite my pillow, is what I'll do! 655 00:37:57,488 --> 00:37:59,581 - What do you use on your skin? - Vaseline. 656 00:37:59,657 --> 00:38:03,149 You use petroleum jelly on your skin? You are getting away with murder. 657 00:38:03,461 --> 00:38:05,691 - What do you mean? - You're young, it's okay... 658 00:38:05,763 --> 00:38:08,664 I have an announcement. I have to talk to you. 659 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,366 Excuse me. I must talk to you. 660 00:38:11,435 --> 00:38:13,528 - I'll round us up. - Okay, hold on. 661 00:38:15,506 --> 00:38:18,236 - Good morning. - We have an announcement. 662 00:38:18,342 --> 00:38:20,173 We have to talk. 663 00:38:20,745 --> 00:38:23,873 Everybody gather around, please. Gather around. 664 00:38:25,783 --> 00:38:26,977 Excuse me. 665 00:38:27,318 --> 00:38:31,982 Dr. Pearl, please be quiet. I have an announcement. Listen up. 666 00:38:32,089 --> 00:38:34,114 Are we going to be vocalizing? 667 00:38:34,191 --> 00:38:37,354 - We will be vocalizing. - I'd like to clear my throat. 668 00:38:38,462 --> 00:38:41,022 Yes, we'll be vocalizing. 669 00:38:41,966 --> 00:38:43,331 Excuse me, please. 670 00:38:43,868 --> 00:38:46,803 Everybody, let's be serious, just for a moment. 671 00:38:46,971 --> 00:38:48,871 Let's all listen up, okay? 672 00:38:49,006 --> 00:38:52,305 Corky has left the show, and I am taking over. 673 00:38:52,743 --> 00:38:54,301 What I want to do today... 674 00:38:54,378 --> 00:38:56,869 is start with some music, do dancing... 675 00:38:57,081 --> 00:39:00,642 and work on our lines. My hope is that at the end of five days... 676 00:39:00,718 --> 00:39:02,618 we'll know what to do... - What? 677 00:39:02,687 --> 00:39:04,746 and we'll have a show. - Corky's left? 678 00:39:04,822 --> 00:39:07,814 - He's left for today or permanently? - Quit the show... 679 00:39:07,925 --> 00:39:09,483 and it's my show. 680 00:39:20,638 --> 00:39:23,129 Do that twice a day, that's good exercise. 681 00:39:24,275 --> 00:39:26,869 - Is he not answering? - Corky, we love you! 682 00:39:26,944 --> 00:39:28,070 Corky, open up! 683 00:39:28,746 --> 00:39:31,306 We love you! We want you to live! 684 00:39:31,449 --> 00:39:34,043 There may be something wrong. Try the door. 685 00:39:45,763 --> 00:39:47,128 He wants to be alone. 686 00:39:47,198 --> 00:39:50,361 - I won't forgive myself if anything's wrong. - Just shut up! 687 00:39:50,468 --> 00:39:52,299 Jesus Christ! 688 00:39:52,803 --> 00:39:53,963 Please! 689 00:39:54,739 --> 00:39:57,230 You freaking people! My God! 690 00:39:57,308 --> 00:39:58,866 I know how he feels, too! 691 00:40:00,544 --> 00:40:03,536 Guess I can just go back to the Dairy Queen. 692 00:40:07,551 --> 00:40:09,178 They said they'd take me back. 693 00:40:13,157 --> 00:40:15,387 I always have a place at the Dairy Queen. 694 00:40:20,664 --> 00:40:21,961 You must stop crying. 695 00:40:22,032 --> 00:40:25,468 She hasn't cried this much since the day we got married, honestly. 696 00:40:27,371 --> 00:40:28,565 This is wonderful. 697 00:40:28,639 --> 00:40:32,666 I didn't react like this when I played football for the Blaine Panthers... 698 00:40:32,743 --> 00:40:35,109 and our quarterback had a dislocated knee. 699 00:40:35,179 --> 00:40:38,410 - I should've said, "Time out." - 'Cause you're strong. 700 00:40:38,482 --> 00:40:41,610 "Let's delay the game." My lip trembled and I'd say: 701 00:40:41,685 --> 00:40:44,415 "We have an injured quarterback, let's give up." 702 00:40:44,488 --> 00:40:47,286 No. You know what? We brought in the second quarterback. 703 00:40:47,358 --> 00:40:49,792 When he went down, we brought in the third one... 704 00:40:49,860 --> 00:40:52,658 and we went out and we whipped Harry Truman High School... 705 00:40:52,763 --> 00:40:56,631 and then we mopped the floor with Blessed Heart of Mary... 706 00:40:56,700 --> 00:40:59,328 and they went on to win the State Championship. 707 00:41:05,042 --> 00:41:08,637 To tell you the truth, I haven't thought about it. 708 00:41:08,712 --> 00:41:13,411 Not for a second have I dwelled on the fact that the show's over. 709 00:41:13,751 --> 00:41:17,118 I don't think about it. I try not to think about it. 710 00:41:17,188 --> 00:41:21,284 And therefore I don't. Because it's a very healthy way... 711 00:41:21,458 --> 00:41:25,656 to deal with something that's ultimately not that important in the long run. 712 00:41:25,729 --> 00:41:29,995 It's not important at all, you know, for me. 713 00:41:34,038 --> 00:41:36,973 I'm just so sad for Corky. I mean... 714 00:41:37,141 --> 00:41:40,508 I think these creative people are real emotional. 715 00:41:41,745 --> 00:41:44,407 I think the important thing about show biz people... 716 00:41:44,481 --> 00:41:48,008 is that you must have another life and I know, you know... 717 00:41:48,419 --> 00:41:51,980 he's got a wife. I guess she's out of town... 718 00:41:52,890 --> 00:41:54,824 because I haven't seen her. 719 00:41:54,925 --> 00:41:59,294 And I've never seen her. So, you know, that could be the problem. 720 00:41:59,363 --> 00:42:01,331 Maybe she's just not supportive. 721 00:42:01,999 --> 00:42:06,095 Without you there's no show. Without a show, no celebration. 722 00:42:06,203 --> 00:42:08,603 Without a celebration, there's no Blaine. 723 00:42:08,739 --> 00:42:11,037 So, you see how it's a domino effect. 724 00:42:11,775 --> 00:42:13,538 You know how dominoes do that. 725 00:42:13,611 --> 00:42:16,273 Without Blaine, there's no Missouri. 726 00:42:16,347 --> 00:42:18,076 Blaine's the heart of Missouri. 727 00:42:18,148 --> 00:42:21,049 What happens if Missouri goes down? You tell me. 728 00:42:21,252 --> 00:42:24,483 We need the magic back in the show, is what we need. 729 00:42:24,989 --> 00:42:27,457 And it won't happen with Lloyd. 730 00:42:27,524 --> 00:42:29,424 Lloyd is a music teacher... 731 00:42:29,593 --> 00:42:32,494 he shops at Walmart. He doesn't support the town. 732 00:42:32,897 --> 00:42:35,263 The person who needs you the most... 733 00:42:35,432 --> 00:42:37,263 is Blaine Fabin. 734 00:42:38,435 --> 00:42:41,700 And I'm not just saying that because I am a Fabin. 735 00:42:42,373 --> 00:42:44,603 I'm saying that because I just know... 736 00:42:44,675 --> 00:42:46,074 that nobody... 737 00:42:46,143 --> 00:42:47,542 can touch... 738 00:42:48,212 --> 00:42:49,702 that whole... 739 00:42:50,381 --> 00:42:51,439 thing. 740 00:42:52,283 --> 00:42:53,614 That whole thing. 741 00:42:54,385 --> 00:42:57,013 You could take a nickel and make it into... 742 00:42:57,121 --> 00:43:00,454 into $1 million. He's a genius! We can't lose that. 743 00:43:00,557 --> 00:43:03,788 Look what you did with Barefoot without a budget. 744 00:43:03,961 --> 00:43:07,055 You didn't have $100,000 and look what happened to that show. 745 00:43:07,231 --> 00:43:11,361 And Backdraft? You took a bit of cellophane and made it into flames. 746 00:43:11,435 --> 00:43:13,164 You can still feel the heat. 747 00:43:13,237 --> 00:43:14,966 You're not wrong. 748 00:43:15,306 --> 00:43:17,706 We need you to take your magic wand... 749 00:43:18,242 --> 00:43:19,800 and wave it... 750 00:43:20,144 --> 00:43:23,477 and make this town special again, is what we need. 751 00:43:24,648 --> 00:43:26,138 Will you do it? 752 00:43:26,817 --> 00:43:28,478 Come on back, Corky. 753 00:43:47,838 --> 00:43:49,100 Pain! 754 00:43:54,812 --> 00:43:55,801 Thank you. 755 00:43:56,947 --> 00:44:00,348 Let's pretend that it never happened, okay? 756 00:44:00,517 --> 00:44:04,351 Let's jump into Covered Wagons. Let's start from the dance part. 757 00:44:04,588 --> 00:44:05,919 Covered Wagons! 758 00:44:15,366 --> 00:44:16,958 In a funny way... 759 00:44:17,134 --> 00:44:20,297 what the City Council did was really give me a challenge. 760 00:44:20,537 --> 00:44:24,200 It's a challenge that I'm going to accept. 761 00:44:24,308 --> 00:44:26,538 It's like in the olden days in the... 762 00:44:26,710 --> 00:44:30,806 days in France, when men would slap each other with their gloves... 763 00:44:30,981 --> 00:44:33,472 and say, you know, "D'Artagnan... 764 00:44:33,650 --> 00:44:36,517 "...how dare you talk to me like that, you!" 765 00:44:36,587 --> 00:44:38,145 And smack them. 766 00:45:13,257 --> 00:45:15,248 I did want to mention one thing. 767 00:45:18,262 --> 00:45:19,194 Specs? 768 00:45:19,696 --> 00:45:21,095 1845... 769 00:45:21,265 --> 00:45:22,857 you know, I think... 770 00:45:23,333 --> 00:45:24,857 it's a little problem. 771 00:45:27,271 --> 00:45:28,932 My glasses. 772 00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,908 - I can't... - I don't think you should wear them. 773 00:45:31,975 --> 00:45:33,636 Don't wear them in the show? 774 00:45:33,710 --> 00:45:35,234 Mostly in Covered Wagons. 775 00:45:35,312 --> 00:45:39,544 That's the one where it's just not as believable. 776 00:45:39,616 --> 00:45:42,949 Of course when you get further up in time... 777 00:45:43,053 --> 00:45:44,384 Historically it's... 778 00:45:44,455 --> 00:45:48,858 I can see a couple of problems. Nothing major and nothing we can't solve. 779 00:45:48,926 --> 00:45:50,154 One: 780 00:45:51,395 --> 00:45:54,956 Contrary to public opinion, I don't see very well... 781 00:45:55,699 --> 00:45:57,098 without my glasses. 782 00:45:57,167 --> 00:46:01,501 So, I'm thinking is that going to be a problem for me, just... 783 00:46:01,905 --> 00:46:03,133 look out. 784 00:46:03,240 --> 00:46:07,336 And the other thing which is also a problem is... 785 00:46:08,145 --> 00:46:11,080 I have a very lazy eye... 786 00:46:11,482 --> 00:46:12,642 which... 787 00:46:12,816 --> 00:46:15,080 these prescription glasses... 788 00:46:15,252 --> 00:46:17,083 help correct. 789 00:46:37,941 --> 00:46:41,172 Getting off the horse is not a problem. I can get off like that. 790 00:46:41,245 --> 00:46:43,008 Where I'm having a problem is... 791 00:46:43,113 --> 00:46:46,310 sometimes the horse comes out and I can't get past the cow. 792 00:46:46,383 --> 00:46:51,286 So I have to do this when I come out. Gather 'round, for I have news. 793 00:46:51,455 --> 00:46:54,822 I don't know which is more life-like, the horse or Dr. Pearl. 794 00:46:57,127 --> 00:46:58,094 You. 795 00:46:58,195 --> 00:47:01,187 When you come in from here it just looks great. 796 00:47:01,265 --> 00:47:03,961 - I feel like a hero coming in. - Hello. 797 00:47:06,436 --> 00:47:07,767 Yeah? 798 00:47:09,206 --> 00:47:10,537 What do you mean? 799 00:47:10,707 --> 00:47:12,937 - Then we back up. - Wait till we turn around. 800 00:47:13,010 --> 00:47:16,776 - I've waited for you to turn... - What are you saying? 801 00:47:18,048 --> 00:47:21,711 I understand that. I understand. Believe me, I do understand. 802 00:47:22,786 --> 00:47:26,552 What you can do is just say, "absolutely not." 803 00:47:26,657 --> 00:47:28,648 Do you understand that? 804 00:47:29,059 --> 00:47:32,222 I don't believe that, I'm sorry. I do not accept that. 805 00:47:32,396 --> 00:47:34,057 That is not an answer, no. 806 00:47:34,498 --> 00:47:37,365 It's unacceptable that you would say this now. 807 00:47:37,467 --> 00:47:38,627 Not today. 808 00:47:42,072 --> 00:47:44,165 And that's the way it is? 809 00:47:44,341 --> 00:47:48,744 Then I just hate you! And I hate your ass face! 810 00:47:51,515 --> 00:47:52,345 What's up? 811 00:47:52,416 --> 00:47:56,580 Johnny's not in the show. His dad said he has to go back to work. 812 00:47:57,421 --> 00:48:01,016 Does he think it's school and he can be absent one day? 813 00:48:01,191 --> 00:48:03,887 - This is the day of the show, y'all. - My God. 814 00:48:04,695 --> 00:48:06,925 - Just... - This is very strange. 815 00:48:06,997 --> 00:48:09,932 Ron, just let me think for a second, all right? 816 00:48:10,267 --> 00:48:14,397 I just got to take a breath here and try to figure this out, all right? 817 00:48:20,877 --> 00:48:22,936 It's tight. Oh, that hurts. 818 00:48:23,313 --> 00:48:26,043 Hike it up a little bit, you'll get more room. 819 00:48:26,149 --> 00:48:29,516 I'm pulling them up. I'm trying to commit to one side here, dear. 820 00:48:29,586 --> 00:48:32,555 This is Johnny's costume and Johnny's a lot... 821 00:48:32,723 --> 00:48:35,624 He's a different body type than you are. 822 00:48:36,326 --> 00:48:40,057 - I'm about five inches away... - I understand. 823 00:48:40,230 --> 00:48:43,063 Actors, we're at 15 minutes. 824 00:48:43,667 --> 00:48:45,066 We're at 15. 825 00:48:45,235 --> 00:48:47,066 No. We got to move now. 826 00:48:47,237 --> 00:48:48,864 You'll have to help me. 827 00:48:49,339 --> 00:48:51,239 You've got to help me here. 828 00:49:01,551 --> 00:49:03,644 - I'm so nervous. - You'll be great. 829 00:49:03,754 --> 00:49:06,917 If there's an empty space, say a line. I like to do that. 830 00:49:07,090 --> 00:49:08,785 Even if it's from another show. 831 00:49:15,866 --> 00:49:18,266 - Where's the lilac dress? - The purple one? 832 00:49:18,335 --> 00:49:19,267 Where is it? 833 00:49:19,336 --> 00:49:23,500 I told you to lay off the hot fudge sundaes. I couldn't let the seams out. 834 00:49:23,573 --> 00:49:25,666 - It's not here? - No, it is not. 835 00:49:40,390 --> 00:49:42,517 I destroyed my make-up! 836 00:49:42,793 --> 00:49:44,988 Hark, a rider approaches! 837 00:49:45,095 --> 00:49:47,620 - Oh, God. - No, it's all right. Careful. 838 00:49:47,798 --> 00:49:49,527 I hope that isn't too hot. 839 00:49:49,633 --> 00:49:51,396 No, no, it's just fine. 840 00:50:32,843 --> 00:50:35,505 No glasses for the first number. 841 00:50:35,679 --> 00:50:39,342 - No, no. I didn't forget. - Actors, we're at places. 842 00:50:39,516 --> 00:50:42,246 Have a good show, everybody. Break a leg! 843 00:51:16,853 --> 00:51:19,822 Don't worry, it's all going to roll... 844 00:51:19,956 --> 00:51:21,253 - He's not here. - What? 845 00:51:21,324 --> 00:51:23,292 - He's not here. - Guffman? 846 00:51:23,493 --> 00:51:24,517 Not here? 847 00:51:27,130 --> 00:51:30,827 Everybody, look, I've been through this a million times. 848 00:51:31,067 --> 00:51:33,262 These New York types like to come late. 849 00:51:33,336 --> 00:51:34,997 I've never seen one of them... 850 00:51:35,071 --> 00:51:37,835 come on time in all my years in the theater. 851 00:51:38,008 --> 00:51:39,566 Take a deep breath. 852 00:51:39,910 --> 00:51:41,969 Blow it out. He'll be here. 853 00:51:42,078 --> 00:51:45,138 Let's just do a good show, okay? Everybody. 854 00:51:45,248 --> 00:51:46,875 Hands in the middle. 855 00:52:23,186 --> 00:52:24,448 Howdy! 856 00:52:25,622 --> 00:52:29,058 Didn't see you sneak up on me there. 857 00:52:29,192 --> 00:52:33,288 If you like you're welcome to share my campfire with me. 858 00:52:33,463 --> 00:52:36,023 I was just fixing to get me some grub. 859 00:52:37,033 --> 00:52:38,364 Beans. 860 00:52:40,070 --> 00:52:41,560 I love beans. 861 00:52:41,705 --> 00:52:44,401 Big, fat, hot, juicy beans. 862 00:52:44,574 --> 00:52:47,065 Now don't get me going on beans... 863 00:52:47,210 --> 00:52:50,338 or I'll be jabbering away till the sun comes up. 864 00:52:51,181 --> 00:52:52,512 But you know... 865 00:52:52,582 --> 00:52:54,413 now that I've got your ear... 866 00:52:54,484 --> 00:52:57,317 there is a story I'd like to share with you. 867 00:52:57,487 --> 00:53:01,924 It's a tall tale that grows taller with each passing year. 868 00:53:02,092 --> 00:53:03,650 It's the story... 869 00:53:03,827 --> 00:53:05,488 of Blaine. 870 00:53:20,510 --> 00:53:24,276 We've traveled long and far today. The women and children must rest. 871 00:53:24,347 --> 00:53:27,180 Don't you rest on our account, Daniel Potter. 872 00:53:27,350 --> 00:53:31,343 We women are just as strong and resilient as you men. 873 00:53:32,322 --> 00:53:35,348 I believe you are, Rebecca. I believe you are. 874 00:53:35,525 --> 00:53:38,756 California will be a sight for these weary eyes. 875 00:53:38,962 --> 00:53:41,260 Mine as well, Rebecca. Mine as well. 876 00:53:41,364 --> 00:53:45,528 But right now we need a campfire to warm our souls and to cook our food. 877 00:53:45,969 --> 00:53:47,027 Done. 878 00:53:52,842 --> 00:53:55,538 That's quite enough of that, Billy Whitaker. 879 00:53:55,612 --> 00:53:57,045 Just one kiss. 880 00:53:57,147 --> 00:54:01,140 There'll be plenty of time for kissing when we get to California. 881 00:54:01,284 --> 00:54:03,275 If we get to California. 882 00:54:03,486 --> 00:54:05,215 Oh, we'll get there. 883 00:54:05,388 --> 00:54:08,016 Blaine Fabin will lead us there. 884 00:54:08,224 --> 00:54:10,283 Hark, a rider approaches. 885 00:54:10,493 --> 00:54:12,984 Blaine Fabin returns! 886 00:54:17,968 --> 00:54:20,459 Whoa! Steady! 887 00:54:22,005 --> 00:54:24,496 Gather 'round, for I have news. 888 00:54:24,908 --> 00:54:28,503 What news? What did your keen and perceptive eyes behold? 889 00:54:30,513 --> 00:54:33,004 Just off yonder there is a ridge. 890 00:54:33,416 --> 00:54:36,010 How high a ridge I could not tell... 891 00:54:36,186 --> 00:54:40,350 for the sun had set and darkness fell before I reached its pinnacle. 892 00:54:40,957 --> 00:54:42,049 Then... 893 00:54:42,192 --> 00:54:44,057 a strange thing happened. 894 00:54:44,894 --> 00:54:46,919 My nose started twitching. 895 00:54:47,697 --> 00:54:50,928 There's a mysterious scent in the night air. 896 00:54:51,334 --> 00:54:52,767 What kind of scent? 897 00:54:52,936 --> 00:54:54,927 What was this mysterious scent? 898 00:54:55,138 --> 00:54:58,164 It was the scent of salt water. 899 00:54:59,409 --> 00:55:00,706 Salt water. 900 00:55:02,245 --> 00:55:03,712 Ladies and gentlemen... 901 00:55:03,780 --> 00:55:05,941 we have reached our destination. 902 00:55:06,082 --> 00:55:07,982 We have reached the Pacific. 903 00:55:08,284 --> 00:55:11,447 Welcome to California! 904 00:55:18,094 --> 00:55:20,460 "Grab your fella by the hand 905 00:55:20,563 --> 00:55:23,123 "Welcome him to the Promised Land 906 00:55:23,233 --> 00:55:25,633 "Grab your Lady by the arm 907 00:55:25,702 --> 00:55:28,136 "Take her out behind the barn!" 908 00:55:31,808 --> 00:55:33,799 Everybody dance! 909 00:56:24,794 --> 00:56:26,421 That was great. 910 00:56:28,798 --> 00:56:30,629 Sixty years went by... 911 00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:34,201 and the town of Blaine kept a-growing and a-changing. 912 00:56:34,537 --> 00:56:39,201 Every time you looked around a new house was going up, a new family was moving in. 913 00:56:39,442 --> 00:56:42,707 - Hurry, Agnes. - I am trying to hurry. There we go. 914 00:56:42,879 --> 00:56:44,312 Do you got my hat? 915 00:56:44,447 --> 00:56:47,143 Your hat is right here, darling. 916 00:56:47,317 --> 00:56:51,310 McGillicutty's orchard became the Blaine Elementary School. 917 00:56:51,454 --> 00:56:56,357 They even laid tracks for that newfangled invention, the Iron Horse... 918 00:56:56,493 --> 00:56:59,929 which brought a pretty important visitor to Blaine. 919 00:57:02,332 --> 00:57:03,993 It's President McKinley! 920 00:57:06,970 --> 00:57:11,339 Good people of Blaine, they told me my next stop was Wichita. 921 00:57:11,574 --> 00:57:14,042 But I said, "What about Blaine?" 922 00:57:16,412 --> 00:57:18,903 I guess I need a new travel agent. 923 00:57:21,651 --> 00:57:22,982 Mr. President... 924 00:57:23,086 --> 00:57:25,247 in honor of our visit... 925 00:57:25,755 --> 00:57:30,692 your visit to our town, I present you humbly... 926 00:57:30,894 --> 00:57:33,658 with this fair key to our city. 927 00:57:33,730 --> 00:57:34,924 I do declare. 928 00:57:34,998 --> 00:57:38,661 I believe the key to the city is larger than the city itself. 929 00:57:40,537 --> 00:57:41,970 Wait, Mr. President. 930 00:57:42,038 --> 00:57:43,437 What have we here? 931 00:57:43,506 --> 00:57:44,996 It's a footstool. 932 00:57:45,208 --> 00:57:46,539 I make them. 933 00:57:46,876 --> 00:57:49,470 Isn't that interesting. I'll take this back... 934 00:57:49,546 --> 00:57:52,606 to Washington with me and every time I rest my feet... 935 00:57:52,782 --> 00:57:55,307 I’ll think of Blaine. 936 00:58:00,824 --> 00:58:05,158 We all know that politicians aren't used to keeping their word. 937 00:58:05,295 --> 00:58:07,263 He's here. 938 00:58:07,931 --> 00:58:10,764 I told you he was going to come. 939 00:58:13,169 --> 00:58:16,627 Before you know it, everyone, rich and poor alike... 940 00:58:16,806 --> 00:58:19,673 had to have a Blaine stool in their home. 941 00:58:19,976 --> 00:58:22,240 The little town never knew what hit it. 942 00:58:22,312 --> 00:58:26,976 Footstool factories sprouted up like, like toadstools. 943 00:58:27,317 --> 00:58:28,978 Everyone had a good job. 944 00:58:29,152 --> 00:58:31,746 Everyone was making a good wage. 945 00:58:31,921 --> 00:58:34,549 Blaine was on the map. 946 00:58:47,437 --> 00:58:48,699 "By the pool 947 00:58:49,339 --> 00:58:51,899 "In the school By the fires of Yule 948 00:58:52,175 --> 00:58:53,938 "It's the rule 949 00:58:54,077 --> 00:58:56,170 "There's a stool There's a stool 950 00:58:56,279 --> 00:58:57,837 "Stools are where 951 00:58:58,181 --> 00:59:00,672 "Once upon a time you'd find a chair 952 00:59:00,783 --> 00:59:02,683 "A chair's for fools 953 00:59:02,852 --> 00:59:05,082 "Everybody wants stools 954 00:59:05,688 --> 00:59:07,679 "Stool boom 955 00:59:07,857 --> 00:59:10,223 "From the parlor to the pool room 956 00:59:11,294 --> 00:59:13,990 "In the center of a stool boom 957 00:59:14,163 --> 00:59:16,393 "Everyone knows our name 958 00:59:18,601 --> 00:59:19,966 "Working, building 959 00:59:20,103 --> 00:59:23,300 "Never stopping, never sleeping Working, making 960 00:59:23,473 --> 00:59:26,340 "Some for selling, some for keeping You will drool 961 00:59:27,110 --> 00:59:29,442 "At the splendor of these magic stools 962 00:59:29,812 --> 00:59:33,543 "It's the rule Everyone has a stool 963 00:59:33,950 --> 00:59:34,939 "Just relax 964 00:59:35,852 --> 00:59:38,320 "It's a treat for which a monarch asks 965 00:59:38,755 --> 00:59:41,690 "Hawk your jewels Use the money 966 00:59:41,758 --> 00:59:43,020 "For stools 967 00:59:43,493 --> 00:59:45,484 "Stool boom 968 00:59:45,561 --> 00:59:48,553 "Just relaxing before the sales too 969 00:59:48,631 --> 00:59:51,623 "Like a fever that you sleep through 970 00:59:51,701 --> 00:59:55,535 "And it's ready now from Blaine 971 00:59:56,339 --> 00:59:57,738 "Working, building 972 00:59:57,907 --> 01:00:00,774 "Never stopping, never sleeping Working, making 973 01:00:00,843 --> 01:00:02,743 "Some for selling, some for keeping 974 01:00:02,812 --> 01:00:06,680 "Working, building Never stopping, never sleeping 975 01:00:06,749 --> 01:00:08,717 "Working, making 976 01:00:08,918 --> 01:00:13,878 "Some for selling Some for keeping" 977 01:00:41,684 --> 01:00:44,050 I can't wait to see the second half. 978 01:00:44,187 --> 01:00:49,124 Allan, his dramatic work, I mean, I knew he was funny and I knew he could... 979 01:00:49,292 --> 01:00:52,955 move, dance, cause he's that way, but... 980 01:00:53,129 --> 01:00:56,792 I think his dramatical work is so moving that... 981 01:00:57,367 --> 01:01:02,304 I called Joyce and said, "Bring Joshy 'cause I must feed him half-time... 982 01:01:02,405 --> 01:01:03,997 "...because I'm just busting." 983 01:01:04,073 --> 01:01:08,476 This is good. They're dancing all over the place and the songs are very catchy. 984 01:01:09,345 --> 01:01:12,508 Very catchy. I can't get a few of them out of my head. 985 01:01:12,582 --> 01:01:17,212 Almost to an annoying point, but I think it's good when a song is catchy... 986 01:01:17,420 --> 01:01:21,151 from the little experience I have in show business. 987 01:01:21,324 --> 01:01:24,487 I knew that Corky could act, direct and produce. 988 01:01:24,594 --> 01:01:27,427 But who knew that he was going to act and sing and dance. 989 01:01:27,497 --> 01:01:32,628 He can do everything. Only one other person in the world can do that... 990 01:01:32,702 --> 01:01:34,499 and that's Barbra Streisand. 991 01:01:34,570 --> 01:01:35,559 He is... 992 01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:38,639 I don't know... 993 01:01:38,775 --> 01:01:41,767 an inspiration to this town, that's what he is. 994 01:01:42,445 --> 01:01:47,405 I'm glad to see that Johnny Savage dropped out of the show because... 995 01:01:48,084 --> 01:01:51,679 two years ago he came in the store and tried to steal my stamp machine... 996 01:01:51,754 --> 01:01:53,915 and that kid is no good. 997 01:01:54,023 --> 01:01:58,357 You can see from his parents. He wouldn't have added anything to the show. 998 01:01:58,528 --> 01:02:01,520 Corky, on the other hand, look at him. Did you see... 999 01:02:01,697 --> 01:02:03,756 God, I wish I was in this show! 1000 01:02:24,887 --> 01:02:26,718 I hear that French girls... 1001 01:02:26,989 --> 01:02:28,718 are very pretty. 1002 01:02:29,058 --> 01:02:31,356 That they wear the finest of clothes. 1003 01:02:31,828 --> 01:02:35,594 I also hear that they are experts in the ways of love. 1004 01:02:36,699 --> 01:02:39,793 Ima, I'm going to fight for my country. 1005 01:02:40,002 --> 01:02:42,664 To fight and, yes, perhaps die... 1006 01:02:43,005 --> 01:02:46,099 so that young men from here to Timbuktu... 1007 01:02:46,175 --> 01:02:49,804 can feel the wind of freedom blowing through their hair. 1008 01:02:50,279 --> 01:02:52,975 Oh, Monty, I didn't mean to doubt you. 1009 01:02:54,317 --> 01:02:59,016 It's just sometimes I feel as if I don't really know you. 1010 01:03:01,491 --> 01:03:03,482 I would still pay... 1011 01:03:06,829 --> 01:03:09,491 "A penny for your thoughts 1012 01:03:09,765 --> 01:03:12,632 "A dime for your dreams 1013 01:03:12,735 --> 01:03:15,727 "Would a shiny new quarter 1014 01:03:15,838 --> 01:03:19,103 "Buy a peek at your schemes 1015 01:03:19,342 --> 01:03:22,334 "And when you are away 1016 01:03:22,645 --> 01:03:25,614 "So far from my side 1017 01:03:25,781 --> 01:03:28,841 "I will cherish my penny's worth 1018 01:03:29,051 --> 01:03:32,452 "Till at last I'm your bride 1019 01:03:37,860 --> 01:03:40,727 "A penny for your thoughts 1020 01:03:40,863 --> 01:03:43,491 "Let's call it a deal 1021 01:03:43,866 --> 01:03:46,801 "I don't have any secrets 1022 01:03:47,236 --> 01:03:50,137 "You know how I feel" 1023 01:03:50,306 --> 01:03:51,933 That's it. Do it right there. 1024 01:03:52,008 --> 01:03:54,067 - Where? - You know where I like the curl. 1025 01:03:54,143 --> 01:03:56,805 - I must get myself ready. - There it is. 1026 01:03:56,913 --> 01:04:00,576 Nice. Now, a little fluff here and you can work on yourself. 1027 01:04:00,716 --> 01:04:03,480 "A penny for your thoughts 1028 01:04:03,753 --> 01:04:06,483 "It's settled and done 1029 01:04:06,756 --> 01:04:09,623 "I'd have offered a million 1030 01:04:09,825 --> 01:04:13,124 "I'd have done it for none 1031 01:04:13,996 --> 01:04:16,988 "I reckon we're in love 1032 01:04:17,166 --> 01:04:20,033 "And married we'll be 1033 01:04:20,403 --> 01:04:23,304 "And all for a penny 1034 01:04:23,406 --> 01:04:26,102 "A bright copper penny 1035 01:04:26,676 --> 01:04:28,007 "A penny 1036 01:04:28,077 --> 01:04:30,238 "That brought you 1037 01:04:30,513 --> 01:04:32,777 "To me" 1038 01:05:04,146 --> 01:05:07,877 You were so good. I told you you'd be able to memorize that. 1039 01:05:08,050 --> 01:05:08,948 You were right. 1040 01:05:09,018 --> 01:05:10,007 You lifted me up! 1041 01:05:10,820 --> 01:05:14,415 After our brave fighting boys returned from the war... 1042 01:05:14,523 --> 01:05:16,684 things got back to normal in Blaine... 1043 01:05:16,926 --> 01:05:20,089 until one summer night in 1946... 1044 01:05:20,663 --> 01:05:23,029 when unexpected visitors... 1045 01:05:23,165 --> 01:05:25,463 put us back on the map. 1046 01:05:30,039 --> 01:05:32,166 - Where are we? - How did we get here? 1047 01:05:32,241 --> 01:05:34,232 Is this a dream? 1048 01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:39,848 - Look! - What is it? 1049 01:05:39,915 --> 01:05:43,214 It looks like one of them new feed storage bins. 1050 01:05:43,319 --> 01:05:46,755 - That's no feed storage bin! - How did it get here? 1051 01:05:46,822 --> 01:05:48,380 It must've flew! 1052 01:05:48,457 --> 01:05:50,288 But it don't have any wings. 1053 01:05:50,393 --> 01:05:52,224 I guess it just dropped... 1054 01:05:52,595 --> 01:05:54,392 from somewhere up there. 1055 01:05:54,664 --> 01:05:58,293 Citizens of Blaine, do not be alarmed. 1056 01:05:58,801 --> 01:06:00,530 We will not harm you. 1057 01:06:00,936 --> 01:06:04,702 We come in peace from a planet far, far away. 1058 01:06:04,874 --> 01:06:07,365 A place we call Mars. 1059 01:06:07,543 --> 01:06:09,875 - I've heard of Mars. - Where's that? 1060 01:06:10,046 --> 01:06:13,675 Stand back and your queries will be answered. 1061 01:06:15,818 --> 01:06:17,149 Look out! 1062 01:06:25,661 --> 01:06:27,595 What do you want from us? 1063 01:06:27,663 --> 01:06:32,566 Good question, Earthling. It seemed like it was time for a change. 1064 01:06:32,935 --> 01:06:34,493 Time to take a trip... 1065 01:06:34,837 --> 01:06:38,170 to see the exciting places in the galaxy. 1066 01:06:38,574 --> 01:06:39,836 For, you see... 1067 01:06:39,909 --> 01:06:42,844 "Nothing ever happens on Mars 1068 01:06:43,446 --> 01:06:47,109 "No sports or entertainment No swinging bars 1069 01:06:47,683 --> 01:06:51,016 "You stand around You stand some more 1070 01:06:51,354 --> 01:06:55,450 "On the planet named For a Roman god of war 1071 01:06:55,725 --> 01:06:57,556 "Nothing ever happens 1072 01:06:57,626 --> 01:06:58,957 "On Mars 1073 01:06:59,562 --> 01:07:03,623 "No supersonic airplanes No sporty cars 1074 01:07:03,866 --> 01:07:07,267 "The sun comes up The sun goes down 1075 01:07:07,470 --> 01:07:11,531 "You can't go to the country You can't go to town 1076 01:07:11,874 --> 01:07:13,637 "Boring, boring 1077 01:07:13,709 --> 01:07:15,677 "Boring, boring 1078 01:07:15,878 --> 01:07:20,212 "Boring, boring, boring, boring" 1079 01:07:28,791 --> 01:07:32,852 The town of Blaine has packed a lot in the last 150 years. 1080 01:07:33,429 --> 01:07:36,421 We've had our ups and we've had our downs. 1081 01:07:36,699 --> 01:07:40,226 We've seen our past and we look forward to the future. 1082 01:07:40,536 --> 01:07:44,438 When the challenges come, we'll greet them the way Americans always do. 1083 01:07:44,673 --> 01:07:47,836 With grit, determination and pride. 1084 01:07:48,144 --> 01:07:49,941 Because that, my friends... 1085 01:07:50,212 --> 01:07:51,839 is America. 1086 01:07:51,914 --> 01:07:55,077 And nothing says America more to me... 1087 01:07:55,785 --> 01:07:57,719 than Blaine! 1088 01:09:09,558 --> 01:09:11,219 You're so brilliant. 1089 01:09:11,293 --> 01:09:13,488 Cliff, you're great. Everyone was so great. 1090 01:09:15,564 --> 01:09:17,225 - You did it! - Thank you! 1091 01:09:18,133 --> 01:09:21,398 I'll get Mr. Guffman, I'll be right backstage. 1092 01:09:28,744 --> 01:09:30,735 Hello. How are you? 1093 01:09:31,013 --> 01:09:32,571 It's nice to meet you. 1094 01:09:32,982 --> 01:09:33,971 How do you do? 1095 01:09:34,049 --> 01:09:36,347 - Way to sock it to 'em! - Thanks, Mr. Mayor. 1096 01:09:36,418 --> 01:09:38,943 They'll hear about this at the Mayor's conference. 1097 01:09:40,256 --> 01:09:43,089 I know we've a lot of work to do. The first act needs... 1098 01:09:43,526 --> 01:09:47,223 - It was magical. - Thank you very much, Steve. 1099 01:09:48,531 --> 01:09:51,125 The first act, it's up and down. 1100 01:09:51,233 --> 01:09:54,964 I know that. We just don't have the time to do everything. 1101 01:09:55,371 --> 01:09:59,034 I'll ask you point blank. Do we have a shot to go to Broadway? 1102 01:09:59,775 --> 01:10:00,901 Yes, I think so. 1103 01:10:01,710 --> 01:10:04,577 Mamma mia! That is such good news! 1104 01:10:04,647 --> 01:10:06,911 I can't tell you what news that is to me. 1105 01:10:07,182 --> 01:10:09,650 - Would you like to meet the cast? - I'd like that. 1106 01:10:09,718 --> 01:10:12,050 Great. Come on with me, you. 1107 01:10:19,028 --> 01:10:20,586 Everybody... 1108 01:10:28,337 --> 01:10:29,736 Our cast. 1109 01:10:29,805 --> 01:10:32,740 Oh, thank you. You're just great. 1110 01:10:36,478 --> 01:10:38,446 Please, introduce yourselves. 1111 01:10:39,548 --> 01:10:41,675 - Sheila Albertson. - You were great. 1112 01:10:41,784 --> 01:10:45,618 - I was? - Mrs. Ron Albertson. A joy to perform... 1113 01:10:45,688 --> 01:10:48,350 for someone who knows theater. - This came two hours ago. 1114 01:10:48,424 --> 01:10:50,688 Sorry, I'm just now getting it to you. 1115 01:10:51,460 --> 01:10:54,588 Clifford Wooley. How are you? Nice to meet you. 1116 01:10:55,764 --> 01:10:57,493 You make me laugh. 1117 01:10:57,700 --> 01:11:00,100 A delight to meet you, sir. 1118 01:11:00,502 --> 01:11:05,462 Well, I'm sure that Mr. Guffman would like to say a few words to us. 1119 01:11:06,775 --> 01:11:08,936 Speech, speech, speech! 1120 01:11:10,245 --> 01:11:13,043 I think there's a mistake. My name's Roy Loomis. 1121 01:11:13,148 --> 01:11:16,914 I'm down from Deming. My niece had her first baby. 1122 01:11:17,252 --> 01:11:20,483 It's a boy. That's what the balloon is for. 1123 01:11:20,990 --> 01:11:22,719 I want to tell you how... 1124 01:11:23,058 --> 01:11:25,185 absolutely wonderful you all were. 1125 01:11:27,696 --> 01:11:31,029 Thank you, I'll be seeing you. And bless you. 1126 01:11:31,266 --> 01:11:33,166 He's going to love this. 1127 01:11:33,535 --> 01:11:34,593 Oh, boy. 1128 01:11:43,245 --> 01:11:45,645 Take our make-up off. 1129 01:12:05,434 --> 01:12:07,163 "Snow storm in New York. 1130 01:12:07,936 --> 01:12:10,427 "All flights canceled. 1131 01:12:11,874 --> 01:12:13,364 "Mort Guffman." 1132 01:12:34,463 --> 01:12:38,456 I think the one really important thing that I learned... 1133 01:12:39,435 --> 01:12:42,768 from my whole experience in working with Corky... 1134 01:12:43,005 --> 01:12:44,734 is that I... 1135 01:12:45,040 --> 01:12:46,837 do indeed... 1136 01:12:47,209 --> 01:12:49,074 have talent. 1137 01:12:50,345 --> 01:12:53,143 And a couple of things actually. 1138 01:12:53,716 --> 01:12:54,808 B: 1139 01:12:55,150 --> 01:12:56,981 I have to... 1140 01:12:57,252 --> 01:12:59,812 entertain. I have to entertain. 1141 01:12:59,955 --> 01:13:03,015 And you have to go where... 1142 01:13:03,459 --> 01:13:06,758 you are needed. You have to go where the crowds are. 1143 01:13:06,929 --> 01:13:09,796 And you have to go where... 1144 01:13:11,066 --> 01:13:14,126 the love is. And the love for me... 1145 01:13:14,970 --> 01:13:17,131 right now, is in Miami. 1146 01:13:17,840 --> 01:13:19,205 Not Blaine. 1147 01:13:19,708 --> 01:13:23,144 "My bubi made a kishka She made it big and fat 1148 01:13:23,212 --> 01:13:24,941 "My zeida took one look at it 1149 01:13:25,013 --> 01:13:28,540 "And said 'I can't eat that' Oh, Mama, Mama, Mama 1150 01:13:28,617 --> 01:13:31,108 "Oh, Mama, me oh my" 1151 01:13:32,755 --> 01:13:37,351 We're in the land of dreams, and don't let anybody say dreams can't come true. 1152 01:13:37,426 --> 01:13:41,362 We're an hour from the snow, 20 minutes from the ocean. 1153 01:13:41,463 --> 01:13:43,795 Two hours from the Mexico. 1154 01:13:44,366 --> 01:13:47,392 - Five hours from Vegas. - We'll get there one of these days. 1155 01:13:47,469 --> 01:13:51,303 - Soon as we get a car. - Who wants to add to the pollution? 1156 01:13:51,840 --> 01:13:53,501 We're bi-coastal... 1157 01:13:53,575 --> 01:13:56,942 if you consider the Mississippi River one of the coasts. 1158 01:13:57,446 --> 01:13:59,471 Extras! Let's go, over here. 1159 01:13:59,681 --> 01:14:02,445 Time to get back to work. That's what they pay us for. 1160 01:14:02,551 --> 01:14:04,712 Can't they even call us by name? 1161 01:14:04,853 --> 01:14:08,345 Why can't they say, "Ron, Sheila, this way please." 1162 01:14:08,457 --> 01:14:13,053 Still the same paycheck. How're you? You're doing a great job, incidentally. 1163 01:14:14,396 --> 01:14:16,261 - Smile. - Are you going to smile? 1164 01:14:16,331 --> 01:14:18,265 I think we should have a line. 1165 01:14:18,333 --> 01:14:20,130 I gave him some suggestions... 1166 01:14:20,202 --> 01:14:22,830 - We should be line dancing. - That's a great idea. 1167 01:14:22,905 --> 01:14:24,395 Quiet, please. 1168 01:14:25,607 --> 01:14:28,906 - Put your finger here. You smiling? - Quiet, please. 1169 01:14:30,579 --> 01:14:35,016 I was on my way to New York, and then my dad got out of prison. 1170 01:14:35,717 --> 01:14:36,979 Which is good. 1171 01:14:38,020 --> 01:14:42,514 He should have been in there 10 years, but since he didn't kill anybody... 1172 01:14:42,724 --> 01:14:43,952 he just... 1173 01:14:44,660 --> 01:14:46,389 ruined some property... 1174 01:14:46,628 --> 01:14:49,119 they let him out after five. 1175 01:14:49,231 --> 01:14:50,664 So it's... 1176 01:14:51,200 --> 01:14:52,724 I'm here with my dad. 1177 01:14:53,068 --> 01:14:54,296 And... 1178 01:14:57,072 --> 01:14:59,666 I've thought of ice cream and what I can do with it. 1179 01:14:59,741 --> 01:15:03,575 Maybe come up with... We have a Blizzard and a Breeze... 1180 01:15:04,413 --> 01:15:07,974 and the Derbies are really old. 1181 01:15:08,050 --> 01:15:11,019 They've been doing Derbies, the chocolate dip, for... 1182 01:15:12,154 --> 01:15:14,315 I think, 20 years or something. 1183 01:15:15,123 --> 01:15:18,524 I really want to, sort of, make a healthy... 1184 01:15:18,894 --> 01:15:21,294 low-fat or non-fat... 1185 01:15:23,065 --> 01:15:24,293 healthy... 1186 01:15:26,768 --> 01:15:27,666 Blizzard. 1187 01:15:28,670 --> 01:15:30,570 The first thing I did... 1188 01:15:30,639 --> 01:15:33,130 when I moved back to New York City... 1189 01:15:33,642 --> 01:15:35,872 was to look up Mr. Guffman. 1190 01:15:36,411 --> 01:15:40,347 He was so sweet. I think he felt a little guilty too... 1191 01:15:40,449 --> 01:15:45,113 because he's offered me the chance to audition for his new Broadway show... 1192 01:15:45,187 --> 01:15:47,747 which is a revival of My Fair Lady. 1193 01:15:47,890 --> 01:15:50,154 It's one of my favorite shows of all time. 1194 01:15:50,759 --> 01:15:53,728 And the role is of Henry Higgins... 1195 01:15:53,829 --> 01:15:56,923 the somewhat stern taskmaster... 1196 01:15:56,999 --> 01:15:59,729 but "he-really-likes-her-anyway" kind of guy... 1197 01:15:59,968 --> 01:16:04,598 who teaches Liza how to speak correctly. She, of course, is of the... 1198 01:16:04,907 --> 01:16:09,503 Cockney persuasion and drops her "h's". I've been working on that at home... 1199 01:16:09,578 --> 01:16:12,638 the whole Cockney thing of "'Elo, 'ow are 'u?" 1200 01:16:13,148 --> 01:16:15,173 Do you want to go to 'artford? 1201 01:16:15,417 --> 01:16:18,477 Not live in this "'ell 'ole," that kind of thing. 1202 01:16:18,720 --> 01:16:21,450 I think I'm honing in on it pretty close now. 1203 01:16:21,990 --> 01:16:26,256 I suppose that the "cake and eat it too" part of this whole story is that... 1204 01:16:26,361 --> 01:16:29,262 another dream of mine has come true, which is that... 1205 01:16:29,331 --> 01:16:31,765 I’ve gotten to open this shop... 1206 01:16:31,934 --> 01:16:35,131 where I have all my show business treasures... 1207 01:16:35,203 --> 01:16:37,228 and all my memorabilia. 1208 01:16:38,307 --> 01:16:40,366 This is one of my favorite items. 1209 01:16:41,910 --> 01:16:44,743 My Dinner With André Action Figures. 1210 01:16:45,514 --> 01:16:47,880 What you can do, which is so cute, is... 1211 01:16:48,150 --> 01:16:51,210 you can re-enact the whole scene. 1212 01:16:51,553 --> 01:16:52,952 You know, where... 1213 01:16:53,355 --> 01:16:56,347 the two guys talk to each other and say, you know: 1214 01:16:57,092 --> 01:16:59,788 "Boy, I'm sure glad you found a good restaurant. 1215 01:16:59,861 --> 01:17:03,558 "It's so hard these days to get in. Who do you know?" 1216 01:17:03,732 --> 01:17:05,359 "I just called. 1217 01:17:05,567 --> 01:17:06,966 "Made a call. 1218 01:17:07,302 --> 01:17:08,963 "Spur of the moment." 1219 01:17:09,905 --> 01:17:12,373 "You can always get a reservation." 1220 01:17:13,475 --> 01:17:16,842 That's not from the movie, but you can make up your own dialogue. 1221 01:17:16,912 --> 01:17:19,142 It's one of the great things about action figures. 1222 01:17:20,382 --> 01:17:22,646 I'm trying to get, it's very rare... 1223 01:17:22,751 --> 01:17:26,209 the one, the action figures for Das Boot... 1224 01:17:26,588 --> 01:17:31,116 'cause I love to do that whole kind of claustrophobic thing inside the sub... 1225 01:17:31,193 --> 01:17:33,093 where they're, you know... 1226 01:17:35,230 --> 01:17:36,561 That whole German thing. 1227 01:17:36,631 --> 01:17:39,623 I can't speak German, but it sounds like, sort of a... 1228 01:17:40,235 --> 01:17:42,203 bunch of barnyard animals... 1229 01:17:42,270 --> 01:17:44,568 you know, making that noise and sweating. 1230 01:17:46,641 --> 01:17:49,041 Over here, these are my Big Heads... 1231 01:17:49,211 --> 01:17:52,271 I call them. Starting with Anthony Michael Hall. 1232 01:17:52,514 --> 01:17:54,175 One of the Brat Packers. 1233 01:17:54,816 --> 01:17:57,250 In fact, in the background there there's... 1234 01:17:57,853 --> 01:17:59,047 Andrew McCarthy. 1235 01:18:00,622 --> 01:18:02,613 Over here, some new lunchboxes... 1236 01:18:02,691 --> 01:18:06,593 we got in. The Remains of the Day lunchbox. And the kids... 1237 01:18:06,695 --> 01:18:09,425 have such a good time with these. 1238 01:18:09,631 --> 01:18:14,432 Kids don't like eating lunch at school, but with a Remains of the Day lunchbox... 1239 01:18:14,636 --> 01:18:15,796 they're happier. 97444