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1
00:00:00,633 --> 00:00:02,873
[Upbeat music]
2
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:19,030
[Watkins whistling]
3
00:00:20,833 --> 00:00:25,173
Please, I was just hitch
hiking! Why are you doing this?
4
00:00:26,433 --> 00:00:28,633
There's blood
coming out of my ear!
5
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:32,797
You'll spin all the blood
out of my head! I'll die!!
6
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,573
Yeah, I'm afraid you will.
7
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:38,630
But look on the bright side,
at least you'll be famous.
8
00:00:38,767 --> 00:00:40,327
I don't wanna be
famous! I want to live!
9
00:00:41,967 --> 00:00:44,427
Well, you know, maybe
being a little bit famous
10
00:00:44,567 --> 00:00:46,067
would be nice.
11
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:50,300
Peter Andre famous.
Enough to get a free nandos.
12
00:00:50,433 --> 00:00:54,173
That's the spirit. Scream
if you wanna go faster!
13
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:57,670
- No! No!
- Scream as loud as you can.
14
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,400
- It's music to my ears, boy!
- No!
15
00:01:00,533 --> 00:01:04,773
- Scream!
- [Craig screaming]
16
00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:08,630
- [Watkins laughing]
- No!
17
00:01:17,067 --> 00:01:19,597
[Upbeat music]
18
00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:48,367
- [Birds chirping]
- [Dramatic music]
19
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,070
Seconds anyone?
20
00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:52,867
Oh, no more for me, Monica,
thanks. I'm full to bursting.
21
00:01:53,067 --> 00:01:55,127
I've got to go to
work after this.
22
00:01:55,267 --> 00:01:57,327
Having to work the weekend.
23
00:01:57,467 --> 00:01:58,927
They're making you
work the weekend?
24
00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:00,967
Oh, don't ask her, Terry,
that's what she wants.
25
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,970
I'm currently on a task force
26
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:05,230
investigating a
triple murder, Terry.
27
00:02:05,367 --> 00:02:06,597
Oh.
28
00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:09,673
That's why we work the
weekend, to save lives.
29
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,700
- Hmm.
- And what's the biggest case
30
00:02:11,833 --> 00:02:14,403
in your little private
investigation agency, Gemma?
31
00:02:16,133 --> 00:02:18,803
- Gnomes.
- Sorry? What was that?
32
00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:22,273
- Gnomes. Alright?
- Yes.
33
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,070
And we solved it
actually. Case closed.
34
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,670
It was quite interesting really.
35
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:27,800
- Yeah.
- Oh.
36
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:30,070
Well they weren't stealing them,
37
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,370
they were just rearranging
them into explicit poses
38
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,300
- in the night.
- Oh.
39
00:02:34,433 --> 00:02:37,103
- Explicit, how?
- Freddie, shush.
40
00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:38,643
Well, one were bent
over, one had a fishing rod.
41
00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:41,597
- Terry, shush.
- Oh ho, that takes me back.
42
00:02:41,733 --> 00:02:43,833
We've not done it like
that since Obama got in.
43
00:02:43,967 --> 00:02:45,397
Freddie! Will you please shush.
44
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,673
Well then we got the dog and
45
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,630
Vicky said it was insulting it.
46
00:02:49,767 --> 00:02:52,667
You know, because we
were mirroring its sex life,
47
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,800
even though we'd had
its equipment lopped off.
48
00:02:54,933 --> 00:02:56,103
Freddie!
49
00:02:56,233 --> 00:02:57,583
You had a point
though, didn't you?
50
00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,100
He used to watch us
with a weird look in his eye,
51
00:03:00,233 --> 00:03:01,803
encouraging me on,
52
00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:04,373
you know, 'cause I was doing
what he could do no longer.
53
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,730
Freddie, I don't think
your sisters want to know
54
00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:08,167
- about our sex life.
- We do.
55
00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:09,830
- We do.
- Do we?
56
00:03:09,967 --> 00:03:12,427
Vicky sends me upstairs
and I exfoliate my whole body
57
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,277
'til I'm perfectly clean,
and then she comes up,
58
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:16,400
inspects me, and if I
don't meet her standard,
59
00:03:16,533 --> 00:03:17,743
I've got to go and stand in
the wardrobe for ten minutes,
60
00:03:17,767 --> 00:03:19,397
'cause I've let her down.
61
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,633
You know, normal.
62
00:03:21,767 --> 00:03:24,467
- Freddie, enough!
- Let him speak.
63
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,870
Gemma, while you've
been busy looking at
64
00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:31,297
copulating little magical
people, in the real police force
65
00:03:31,433 --> 00:03:35,073
we've had bodies found,
in grassington, kettlewell,
66
00:03:35,167 --> 00:03:37,167
and another one in
aysgarth last night.
67
00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,500
Do you want me to wrap
you up some beef, Vicky?
68
00:03:40,633 --> 00:03:42,933
In case you end up in a
stand-off with the killers.
69
00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:44,597
Be nice to have a beef sandwich
70
00:03:44,733 --> 00:03:46,973
if the snipers get
stuck in traffic.
71
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,370
Yeah?
72
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:49,670
Hubberholme.
73
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,100
What?
74
00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:53,283
It's number three on the tour.
75
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,600
- What tour?
- Every tour.
76
00:03:55,733 --> 00:03:57,603
Well every tour
at Yorkshire dales.
77
00:03:59,233 --> 00:04:03,903
Grassington, kettlewell,
hubberholme and aysgarth.
78
00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:06,267
Then there's literally
dozens after that.
79
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,300
It's the perennial
pensioners favourite.
80
00:04:09,867 --> 00:04:13,197
An entire county echoing
with the sounds of complaints
81
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:15,133
delivered through
poorly fitted teeth.
82
00:04:15,267 --> 00:04:17,567
- Oh.
- Did you hear that, Gemma?
83
00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:20,370
The force is missing
an investigative genius.
84
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:22,130
Oh.
85
00:04:22,267 --> 00:04:24,337
I'll have to bring you into
the situation room with me.
86
00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:25,367
What, now?
87
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,270
Monica's got spotted dick
and custard for pudding.
88
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,400
She's being sarcastic, Terry.
89
00:04:31,533 --> 00:04:32,703
Oh.
90
00:04:32,833 --> 00:04:34,703
You run along to
your murders, Vicky,
91
00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:36,833
which by the way
she hasn't solved.
92
00:04:36,967 --> 00:04:39,267
We're um, working
today as well, aren't we?
93
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,400
- Yeah.
- Well...
94
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:43,270
Going undercover actually. Yeah.
95
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,770
[Soft music]
96
00:04:46,933 --> 00:04:47,933
Hi...
97
00:04:50,233 --> 00:04:51,473
Just be cool. Just be cool.
98
00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:56,020
Puppies aren't stealing
themselves from this pet shop.
99
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:58,070
If you see a
puppy-napper, just bark.
100
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,730
But what if they throw a
ball, Gemma? I'm a dog now.
101
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:03,897
I owe it to my newly
adopted species to run after it.
102
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,070
Look, I know it's not
the most glamorous job
103
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,730
we've ever done,
104
00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:11,527
but a few more of these,
well a lot more of these,
105
00:05:11,667 --> 00:05:15,727
we can get out of my sister's
place, pay for the wedding.
106
00:05:15,867 --> 00:05:17,507
I love that you're excited
about the wedding.
107
00:05:17,533 --> 00:05:19,533
- Ah ha.
- Come here, give us a kiss...
108
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,767
- Aw.
- And maybe a rub of my tummy.
109
00:05:23,233 --> 00:05:24,333
- Oh.
- Oh.
110
00:05:24,467 --> 00:05:26,067
Oh Terry.
111
00:05:26,133 --> 00:05:27,713
I can't see, yeah, right,
which way are you going?
112
00:05:27,733 --> 00:05:30,833
- Just go to the left.
- What? Your left or mine?
113
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,730
[Suspenseful music]
114
00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:39,697
- [Man] Help! Please help!
- [Man screaming]
115
00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:42,603
[Watkins] Shush now, I'll
be with you in a second.
116
00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:50,467
[Knocking on door]
117
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,930
Still no news, chief inspector.
118
00:05:53,067 --> 00:05:54,237
- Oh.
- The victims weren't friends,
119
00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:55,927
they worked in different places.
120
00:05:56,067 --> 00:05:57,527
They had no past relationships
121
00:05:57,667 --> 00:05:59,227
that would connect
them in any way.
122
00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:01,097
Okay, okay.
123
00:06:01,233 --> 00:06:03,733
Might we just get lucky and
he might get bored and give up?
124
00:06:03,867 --> 00:06:06,497
- Yeah.
- [Vicky laughs]
125
00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:12,133
- No, I don't think so ma'am.
- Right. Shame.
126
00:06:12,267 --> 00:06:13,877
You see, that's the trouble
with serial killers, isn't it?
127
00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:17,070
They just never seem to
know enough's enough.
128
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,100
- We've got another body.
- Oh!
129
00:06:19,233 --> 00:06:20,873
Hubberholme.
130
00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:22,367
- Hubberholme.
- What?
131
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:24,070
It's number three on the tour.
132
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:27,333
Oh god, no! Thanks Marcus.
133
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:30,530
Do you know what
I think, sergeant?
134
00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:33,267
I think any connection at the
moment would be a great help.
135
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:36,630
I mean, nobody told me
this job would be so difficult.
136
00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:39,497
Criminals don't seem to
want to be caught these days.
137
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,973
Scenic coach
tours, chief inspector.
138
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:45,070
Oh, great idea. I
would bloody love one.
139
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,430
- Get me out of this mess.
- No, the locations.
140
00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:51,697
They're along the routes of
the Yorkshire dales coach tours.
141
00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:54,573
They start in grassington,
then kettlewell,
142
00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:57,270
hubberholme, aysgarth
and then onwards from there.
143
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,170
Oh! Fantastic!
144
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:03,700
Finally a connection.
Well done, sausage.
145
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:05,733
So er, where are
they going next?
146
00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:12,373
Well, um, that information,
it came from a source.
147
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,897
Oh, an informant!
Ooh, bring them in.
148
00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:19,467
- I bloody love an informant.
- Yes ma'am.
149
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,670
There's something sexy
about them, isn't there?
150
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,900
A cloaked figure nestled
in a world of darkness,
151
00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:27,697
reaching out to us
to put things right.
152
00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:29,833
Oh, I bet he's a right
swarthy charmer, eh?
153
00:07:32,933 --> 00:07:34,133
Look at yourselves!
154
00:07:34,267 --> 00:07:36,167
You could have at least
taken your heads off.
155
00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:38,530
Well we can't, they're
sewn into the costumes.
156
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:42,200
It's either this or vest
and knickers I'm afraid.
157
00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:45,203
Anyway, you're the one who
asked for our expert knowledge.
158
00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:49,873
So you're our experts
then? Nice outfits.
159
00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,397
I'm actually part of a club
160
00:07:51,533 --> 00:07:53,503
where we dress up
in something similar.
161
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,870
Have a few drinks,
hmm, see what happens.
162
00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:01,497
It's not a sex thing.
163
00:08:01,633 --> 00:08:04,273
Right. We'll say no
more about it then.
164
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,770
This is Terry
bremmer, everybody.
165
00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:09,300
I'm his fiancee, Gemma. Hi.
166
00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:11,567
Right.
167
00:08:14,533 --> 00:08:18,073
Victim number one.
Found in grassington.
168
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,430
Spun to death of a waltzer.
169
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:25,267
- [Craig screaming]
- [Watkins laughinf]
170
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,900
Victim number two in kettlewell.
171
00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:30,897
Tied to a windscreen,
then flayed alive,
172
00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:32,727
took all the skin of his skull.
173
00:08:32,867 --> 00:08:37,727
- [Man screaming]
- [Watkins laughs]
174
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:43,070
Number three. Crushed
between the doors,
175
00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:45,203
aysgarth monastery.
176
00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:50,073
- [Metallic door banging]
- [Watkins laughing]
177
00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:54,567
And our fourth unlucky
chap was found in the foghorn
178
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,400
at foggerty falls
foghorn museum.
179
00:08:57,533 --> 00:08:59,333
Smack bang in the
middle of hubberholme.
180
00:08:59,467 --> 00:09:04,327
- [Horn hooting]
- [Watkins laughing]
181
00:09:10,933 --> 00:09:13,373
And er, that's all
we've got so far.
182
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:17,100
So er, just relax,
tell us what you know
183
00:09:17,233 --> 00:09:19,203
and remember that
lives are at stake
184
00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:21,373
and it's all down to you, go!
185
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:22,930
What, me? No!
186
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:29,830
Hello.
187
00:09:29,967 --> 00:09:32,527
[Speakers tinning]
188
00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:36,667
Well, um, it's just that I
noticed that these four places
189
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,300
are the first four stops
190
00:09:38,433 --> 00:09:40,973
for dozens of coach tours
around the Yorkshire dales.
191
00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:43,180
And you're going to tell us
192
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:45,500
where the fifth
location is, aren't you?
193
00:09:45,633 --> 00:09:46,803
- No.
- No?
194
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,800
What do you mean, no?
Then what is the point of you?
195
00:09:50,933 --> 00:09:51,933
I...
196
00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:55,773
I've got an idea,
shove over. Right.
197
00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:58,827
Now, from these four points
198
00:09:58,967 --> 00:10:00,447
there's only a limited
amount of tours
199
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,033
that you could be part of.
200
00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:06,727
Yeah? So our fellah is either
part of the tourist industry
201
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:09,767
or he's got a grudge against
people in the tourist industry.
202
00:10:11,067 --> 00:10:13,897
Ma'am, he's on
the phone! Our boy.
203
00:10:14,033 --> 00:10:16,043
Knows details of the killings
we haven't made public.
204
00:10:16,067 --> 00:10:18,527
Right. You talk to
him, you're the expert.
205
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:21,480
Nice outfit. There's
actually a few of us that get...
206
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,070
- No.
- Okay.
207
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,600
Leave it, he's not one of
us. Right, put the call through.
208
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:30,970
So, keep him on the line
for as long as you can.
209
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:33,630
Oh, and quick reminder, innocent
lives are depending on you,
210
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:34,767
but no pressure.
211
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,170
[Suspenseful music]
212
00:10:44,767 -->
212
00:11:34,767 --> 00:11:35,767
Hiya.
213
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,997
Hi, are you alright?
214
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:41,903
Hey, I'm more than
alright, mr policeman.
215
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:44,273
I'm just tickety boo.
216
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,600
So, are you er, calling
about another murder,
217
00:11:47,733 --> 00:11:50,073
or just a general chit-chat?
218
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,630
Oh, I just thought I'd check in,
219
00:11:54,767 --> 00:11:57,397
see how badly you're
doing at catching me.
220
00:11:57,533 --> 00:11:59,873
We found the hubberholme body.
221
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:01,697
Been there for a
while, hadn't they?
222
00:12:01,833 --> 00:12:05,403
Oh aye. You are
terribly out of sequence.
223
00:12:05,533 --> 00:12:09,873
So, aysgarth, where
are we going next?
224
00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:12,167
I mean, either
way you look at it,
225
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:13,700
you've got to be on the a684.
226
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,570
But then you'd get stuck in...
227
00:12:16,700 --> 00:12:19,230
[Both] The one way
system next to the pie shop.
228
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:25,467
[Suspenseful music]
229
00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:35,667
So you know your pie shops then?
230
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,530
It has been said, yeah.
231
00:12:38,767 --> 00:12:40,367
Bloody hell, it's Terry bremmer!
232
00:12:43,067 --> 00:12:45,627
You're too late to
save this one, sadly.
233
00:12:45,767 --> 00:12:50,597
But don't worry, there'll
be more. Much, much more.
234
00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:54,567
Yeah, well maybe there
will, or maybe there won't.
235
00:12:55,867 --> 00:12:58,367
Or maybe we'll catch
you before the next one.
236
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:01,230
And then the only pie shop
you'll be visiting, my friend,
237
00:13:01,367 --> 00:13:02,367
is the one...
238
00:13:03,833 --> 00:13:04,833
In prison.
239
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,630
They've got pie shops in prison?
240
00:13:08,767 --> 00:13:09,767
No.
241
00:13:11,067 --> 00:13:13,067
Well no, what I meant was like,
242
00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:16,273
you will probably be arrested.
243
00:13:19,067 --> 00:13:21,667
Oh, "probably".
244
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:26,570
By the time this is over, you
will eat your words. Bye now.
245
00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:29,330
No, look, mate,
listen, hang on...
246
00:13:30,567 --> 00:13:31,967
- Couldn't trace him ma'am.
- Oh!
247
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:37,070
"Eat my words."
"Eat my w-words."
248
00:13:39,967 --> 00:13:44,827
Gemma, I am going
to eat my words.
249
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,080
Sorry, are you admitting defeat?
250
00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:48,727
Only I was thinking
of admitting defeat,
251
00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:51,597
so if you want to go first,
I'd be bang up for that.
252
00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:53,933
- Gemma...
- I don't...
253
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:57,897
You used to say it. But
only when we were passing...
254
00:13:58,067 --> 00:14:00,427
Oh my god! Albert
dickensthwaite!
255
00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:04,833
Right! We have a
name, get him arrested.
256
00:14:04,967 --> 00:14:07,627
Oh, I knew we could do
it. Well done everyone.
257
00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:10,097
I'm off for a gin, anyone else?
258
00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:12,803
Any gin? Good stuff,
she's happy this time.
259
00:14:12,933 --> 00:14:14,873
- Wow!
- No, no no no. Dickensthwaite
260
00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:17,197
was a foundry
owner in the 1800s.
261
00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:18,603
Oh.
262
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,283
He was one of those
victorian eccentrics
263
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:21,070
who believed that you
could absorb intelligence
264
00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:22,367
through your stomach.
265
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,100
So every day he'd
eat a book for dinner.
266
00:14:25,233 --> 00:14:27,433
Yeah, until he died
of ink poisoning.
267
00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:30,773
There's a statue of
him in shelmondbury,
268
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:32,410
right, with him holding the
last bell that was ever made
269
00:14:32,433 --> 00:14:33,533
at the foundry.
270
00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:35,767
But, whenever we passed through,
271
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:38,170
Gemma always got to
say to the passengers...
272
00:14:39,533 --> 00:14:41,973
I guess Albert really
did eat his own words.
273
00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:45,070
Ha, it's one of
my favourite jokes.
274
00:14:46,167 --> 00:14:47,697
And did the passengers laugh?
275
00:14:47,833 --> 00:14:48,833
Oh yeah.
276
00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:54,773
Right, well you heard the
man. We're off to shelmondbury!
277
00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:57,570
- You're coming too.
- Ooh, yes! Another victim!
278
00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:04,597
[Soft music]
279
00:15:16,533 --> 00:15:18,013
Time for the sniffer
dogs is it ma'am?
280
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:19,230
Oh, very funny.
281
00:15:20,833 --> 00:15:23,233
Nice outfit. There's a
few of us get together...
282
00:15:23,367 --> 00:15:24,367
Get out!
283
00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:28,333
Right, shall we er,
examine the body then?
284
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,170
[Bell dings]
285
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:38,730
Now that is a bloody big bell.
286
00:15:40,867 --> 00:15:42,867
It goes ding, ding, ding.
287
00:15:43,933 --> 00:15:46,833
[Watkins whistling]
288
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,070
Oh, the cheeky little sod.
289
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,830
He's doing the
"wheels on the bus!"
290
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,470
The song?
291
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,900
"The wheels on the bus
go round and round..."
292
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:02,597
[Man screaming]
293
00:16:02,733 --> 00:16:05,773
"The wipers on the bus
go swish swish swish..."
294
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:08,330
[Watkins laughs]
295
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,297
"The horn on the bus
goes beep beep beep..."
296
00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:14,073
[Watkins laughs]
297
00:16:14,133 --> 00:16:17,403
And the doors on the bus,
Gemma, open and close.
298
00:16:17,533 --> 00:16:19,973
[Metallic door creaking]
299
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:21,540
And now "the bell
on the bus goes..."
300
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:23,633
"Ding, ding, ding."
301
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:32,070
He's killing people according
to the verses of the song.
302
00:16:32,133 --> 00:16:36,333
And he's using a coach tour
map. Your boy is a coach driver.
303
00:16:36,467 --> 00:16:39,567
Uh? Is that a lead?
304
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:40,970
If he's a coach driver,
305
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:44,770
we could help you
further if you like?
306
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:46,280
We were part of
that world for years,
307
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:48,900
they know us, they trust us.
308
00:16:49,067 --> 00:16:50,967
- We could go undercover.
- Can we?
309
00:16:53,167 --> 00:16:56,697
I mean, look at us.
We've got experience.
310
00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:58,673
That would be great.
311
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,300
Oh, just knowing that you two
are prepared to take the blame
312
00:17:02,433 --> 00:17:04,133
when this all goes tits-up.
313
00:17:04,267 --> 00:17:06,967
Oh, I mean I know it's not
normal, but what else can I do?
314
00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:11,230
You two are my last resort. Ha.
315
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:15,270
Did you hear that
Terry? We're a last resort.
316
00:17:16,267 --> 00:17:17,397
That means they need us.
317
00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:19,900
Yeh!
318
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,200
[Upbeat music]
319
00:17:37,167 --> 00:17:38,667
[Soft music]
320
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,580
Hey, I've found half a
sausage roll in my pocket.
321
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,930
- Don't eat it.
- I wasn't gonna.
322
00:17:45,267 --> 00:17:48,797
Oh, right. Back on a coach.
323
00:17:48,933 --> 00:17:50,893
I know we thought we'd
left the coach life behind,
324
00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:54,667
and it's gonna be awful,
but we can get through it.
325
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:57,970
- Oh, are you ready?
- Yeah.
326
00:17:59,533 --> 00:18:03,073
The smell of diesel,
life on the open road,
327
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,070
shouting at road workers.
328
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,400
Back to the good old days.
329
00:18:07,633 --> 00:18:08,933
The good old days?
330
00:18:10,267 --> 00:18:12,097
I thought these were
the good old days,
331
00:18:12,233 --> 00:18:13,733
well the good new days.
332
00:18:13,867 --> 00:18:15,237
Are these new days
not the good new days?
333
00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:16,727
Sorry, I got confused.
334
00:18:19,633 --> 00:18:21,433
When we had money
and job security.
335
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:23,397
- Hmm.
- Awful times.
336
00:18:25,533 --> 00:18:28,203
We realise you can't be a
coach operator without a coach,
337
00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:31,073
so er, we rustled
something up for you.
338
00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:32,827
I hope it's suitable.
339
00:18:32,967 --> 00:18:35,527
[Upbeat music]
340
00:18:46,233 --> 00:18:48,473
- Marcus, keys.
- There you go, cowboy.
341
00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:52,037
And you'll be happy
to know I'm sending
342
00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:53,967
a qualified police
officer to go with you.
343
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:58,600
No...
344
00:18:59,533 --> 00:19:00,533
No!
345
00:19:04,633 --> 00:19:06,673
- Are you enjoying yourself?
- Yeah.
346
00:19:08,167 --> 00:19:10,427
Makes me think you
might want to go back to it.
347
00:19:11,467 --> 00:19:14,227
Yeah, no. No, no.
348
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:20,570
Just so we're clear, you're
not my sister-in-law any more,
349
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:23,370
or a police officer,
you're my employee.
350
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,970
Gemma, I've done
undercover work before.
351
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:30,100
It's all about living
the character.
352
00:19:30,233 --> 00:19:31,803
Well if you can
find it in yourself
353
00:19:31,933 --> 00:19:35,533
to "live" the character of
my subordinate on a tour bus,
354
00:19:35,667 --> 00:19:37,427
you can make me a coffee.
355
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:38,777
That's really not how it works.
356
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,930
Subordinate! Coffee!
357
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:48,867
This is my world, Vicky.
You're a tour guide now.
358
00:19:49,067 --> 00:19:51,127
So it's dry shampoo
'til it looks manageable
359
00:19:51,267 --> 00:19:52,827
and wet wipes
on your stinky bits.
360
00:19:55,233 --> 00:19:57,603
Are you liking your
new coach then?
361
00:19:57,733 --> 00:19:58,973
It's having its moments.
362
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,730
[Gentle music]
363
00:20:07,233 --> 00:20:10,233
Is this your plan, to just
hang around a services?
364
00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:11,487
Are we gonna talk an old man
365
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,070
into buying us
cigarettes as well?
366
00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:16,067
Oh Vicky, for a
supposed investigator,
367
00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:17,303
you've got a lot to learn.
368
00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:21,627
There's a place, a secret place,
369
00:20:21,767 --> 00:20:24,897
a place that I thought we'd
sworn never to go back to.
370
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:30,100
Terry, you ready?
371
00:20:30,233 --> 00:20:33,703
- Oh yeah.
- [Gemma sighs]
372
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:36,703
[Knocking on door]
373
00:20:37,733 --> 00:20:38,733
Hiya.
374
00:20:43,133 --> 00:20:46,233
This is the special place.
375
00:20:46,367 --> 00:20:48,927
[Upbeat music]
376
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:01,230
This is the tour
operators' lounge.
377
00:21:01,367 --> 00:21:04,167
Ever wondered where we go
when you stop for a comfort break?
378
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:05,300
Right here.
379
00:21:08,633 --> 00:21:11,133
Some would say it's a
sacred temple of the road.
380
00:21:19,433 --> 00:21:20,833
Now just blend in.
381
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,000
I've formed a very close,
special bond with these people.
382
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:32,333
Hi.
383
00:21:33,767 --> 00:21:37,067
Oh, look who it is. Miss high
and mighty Gemma draper.
384
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,400
Hmm, cheeky, filthy madam.
385
00:21:38,533 --> 00:21:41,773
Yeah, she is cheeky. And filthy.
386
00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:43,330
Close special bond is it?
387
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:45,730
Who's this?
388
00:21:45,867 --> 00:21:48,897
Oh, this is Vicky. Our trainee.
389
00:21:49,033 --> 00:21:50,803
Ooh, she's got a
trainee now has she?
390
00:21:50,933 --> 00:21:52,573
She's not expensive.
391
00:21:52,700 --> 00:21:55,830
Failed her exams, then
her boyfriend left her.
392
00:21:55,967 --> 00:21:58,897
She tried to train as a
beautician, but as you can see,
393
00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:00,627
she's not got the face for it.
394
00:22:02,567 --> 00:22:05,867
Yes, I see what you
mean. No pride in her looks.
395
00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:09,330
- Alright?
- Alright?
396
00:22:09,467 --> 00:22:11,897
- Alright?
- Hiya.
397
00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:31,200
So, what's the goss in
the tour community then?
398
00:22:31,333 --> 00:22:34,333
The bottom fell out of our
chemical toilet, but it's fine.
399
00:22:34,467 --> 00:22:37,197
- My Tony fixed it.
- Just left the hole.
400
00:22:37,333 --> 00:22:39,973
Turns out the old folk
like to feel the breeze
401
00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:41,470
on their bits.
402
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,430
Sometimes you can
hear them whooping
403
00:22:43,567 --> 00:22:45,427
like they're on
a roller-coaster.
404
00:22:45,567 --> 00:22:49,867
We're doing a new tour,
Botox, detox and goldilocks.
405
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,370
It's like a mobile spa, but
we read you a story at the end.
406
00:22:53,567 --> 00:22:54,997
This is ridiculous.
407
00:22:55,133 --> 00:22:56,543
Yeah, they're all the
rage, the rhyming titles.
408
00:22:56,567 --> 00:22:57,997
I'm doing 'mums, bums and tums'.
409
00:22:58,133 --> 00:23:00,003
"Exercise while we drive.
410
00:23:00,133 --> 00:23:03,133
Work your pelvic floors
as we cross the moors."
411
00:23:03,267 --> 00:23:05,107
We tried doing the gammon,
salmon and famine tour,
412
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:07,333
but by the time they'd had
the gammon and the salmon,
413
00:23:07,467 --> 00:23:09,927
people said the famine
museum was in poor taste.
414
00:23:10,067 --> 00:23:14,197
The big news is, the
roadworks on the a346.
415
00:23:14,333 --> 00:23:16,573
Ooh, yeah, they reckon
they've done them properly,
416
00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:18,740
but there's no way you can
get a coach through them.
417
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,030
- Aye.
- Roadworks eh?
418
00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:23,767
Bloody hell! Stop the press!
419
00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:27,030
Doesn't affect me. I've hated
that road since it opened.
420
00:23:27,167 --> 00:23:28,727
I prefer the old
fashioned routes.
421
00:23:33,733 --> 00:23:36,303
So, it weren't nothing
more about murder.
422
00:23:36,433 --> 00:23:38,733
The only thing they've killed
is the art of conversation.
423
00:23:40,367 --> 00:23:42,927
You're both utterly useless.
Right, I'm taking charge.
424
00:23:43,067 --> 00:23:44,467
You can't.
425
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,870
I'm going into character.
Watch and learn.
426
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,170
- Vicky, wait!
- Let her go, Terry.
427
00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:52,100
Let her go. This is
gonna be brilliant.
428
00:23:54,067 --> 00:23:55,927
O m to the g.
429
00:23:56,067 --> 00:23:58,597
I don't know about you
girls, but I'm all coached out.
430
00:23:58,733 --> 00:24:00,573
Oh, I'll tell you
what goss I've heard.
431
00:24:00,700 --> 00:24:03,970
Apparently there's been
people killing people.
432
00:24:04,100 --> 00:24:05,770
Ain't that mad,
ain't that just mad!
433
00:24:07,367 --> 00:24:08,377
And I think someone
should do something about it,
434
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:09,630
for the good of everyone else.
435
00:24:09,767 --> 00:24:12,197
But that's just me,
that's what I think.
436
00:24:12,333 --> 00:24:14,473
Sometimes you just
have to accuse people
437
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,120
of doing something
for the common good,
438
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:17,830
- do you know what I mean?
- No.
439
00:24:17,967 --> 00:24:19,367
Yeah you do.
440
00:24:19,567 --> 00:24:21,767
Having a private
meeting, are we?
441
00:24:21,900 --> 00:24:23,240
Those lot might have
their little bits of gossip,
442
00:24:23,267 --> 00:24:25,797
but the real news
is the murders.
443
00:24:25,933 --> 00:24:29,803
Oh, terrible aren't they?
Everyone's talking about them.
444
00:24:29,933 --> 00:24:31,403
Oh, who's talking that talk?
445
00:24:31,567 --> 00:24:33,767
Would you have a list,
maybe a detailed description?
446
00:24:33,900 --> 00:24:35,230
Oh yes.
447
00:24:35,367 --> 00:24:37,567
One suspect,
devilishly handsome,
448
00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:39,100
charm oozing from every pore.
449
00:24:41,767 --> 00:24:44,567
It's me. I'm the murderer.
450
00:24:46,267 --> 00:24:48,797
"I'm the one responsible
for the five deaths, Clarice."
451
00:24:50,733 --> 00:24:54,233
Give over Willy! You're the
sanest coach driver we know.
452
00:24:54,367 --> 00:24:56,077
If you're the murderer,
we're all in trouble.
453
00:24:56,100 --> 00:24:58,330
I just hope they
catch him quickly.
454
00:24:58,467 --> 00:24:59,837
I'm supposed to
be driving tomorrow,
455
00:24:59,867 --> 00:25:01,667
and er, I don't really
wanna be on the road
456
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,930
with a murderer knocking about.
457
00:25:04,067 --> 00:25:06,867
Those mums, bums and tums
will be clenching extra tight, eh.
458
00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:10,470
Hmm.
459
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,430
Ooh, a song. Let's
sing a song, yeah.
460
00:25:13,567 --> 00:25:15,667
I think this one's got too
many miles on her, Gemma.
461
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,000
And see how it makes us feel
462
00:25:18,133 --> 00:25:20,173
and what actions it might
make us feel like taking.
463
00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:21,570
I'll start.
464
00:25:21,667 --> 00:25:25,227
♪ The wheels on the
bus go round and round ♪
465
00:25:25,367 --> 00:25:28,567
♪ round and round,
round and round ♪
466
00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:32,170
♪ the wheels on the
bus go round and round ♪
467
00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:34,570
right, we've got to go.
It's lovely to see you all.
468
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:36,570
Catch up soon, yeah.
469
00:25:36,667 --> 00:25:39,567
Anybody feeling anything
yet? Anything murderous yeah?
470
00:25:39,667 --> 00:25:43,027
♪ All day long ♪
471
00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:44,967
♪ the wheels on the
bus go round and round ♪
472
00:25:45,100 --> 00:25:46,600
what the hell was that?
473
00:25:46,733 --> 00:25:48,853
I was singing the song to
see if anyone reacted to it.
474
00:25:48,900 --> 00:25:50,870
Everyone reacted to it, Vicky!
475
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,330
Well somebody
had to do something.
476
00:25:52,467 --> 00:25:55,197
We haven't found out anything!
477
00:25:55,333 --> 00:25:59,173
Well yes, we have Vicky. The
a346 is unpassable by coach.
478
00:25:59,300 --> 00:26:01,730
That means you can't get
to the twydle tweed tea shop
479
00:26:01,867 --> 00:26:03,767
or the todmorden bun museum.
480
00:26:03,900 --> 00:26:05,100
So that's four more tours
481
00:26:05,233 --> 00:26:06,833
we can cross off
our list of possibles.
482
00:26:06,967 --> 00:26:09,467
Five tours actually, Terry.
483
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:11,570
You also can't get to
the old sandgate asylum.
484
00:26:11,667 --> 00:26:13,197
Although after
that little stunt,
485
00:26:13,333 --> 00:26:15,573
we might wanna think
about dropping Vicky off there.
486
00:26:15,633 --> 00:26:17,033
Hmm?
487
00:26:17,167 --> 00:26:19,967
[Dramatic music]
488
00:26:24,067 --> 00:26:26,567
[Reporter] Morning campers,
it's a new dawn and a new day.
489
00:26:26,667 --> 00:26:28,537
Don't forget, we've got
murders all across the dales,
490
00:26:28,567 --> 00:26:30,167
so you be careful out there.
491
00:26:30,300 --> 00:26:32,400
When I see Vicky
today, she is getting it.
492
00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:34,900
This is my collar.
493
00:26:35,033 --> 00:26:36,393
We don't need some
rookie coming in
494
00:26:36,433 --> 00:26:38,203
and screwing this
operation up for us.
495
00:26:38,333 --> 00:26:43,173
When I say jump, she
should say, "how can I jump?"
496
00:26:43,967 --> 00:26:45,367
Is, is that how it goes?
497
00:26:45,567 --> 00:26:47,727
Glad to see power's
not gone to your head.
498
00:26:47,867 --> 00:26:51,167
[Phone ringing]
499
00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:52,600
Unknown number.
500
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,700
Well, well, well.
501
00:26:55,833 --> 00:26:57,603
Word on the coach
tour circuit is that
502
00:26:57,733 --> 00:27:00,573
you certainly seemed to have
fun at the old members lounge.
503
00:27:01,467 --> 00:27:02,467
Eh Terry?
504
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,330
- It's him!
- What?
505
00:27:06,467 --> 00:27:08,867
- And he knows my name!
- Put it on speaker.
506
00:27:10,433 --> 00:27:12,443
I thought I'd give you a
fighting chance for this one.
507
00:27:12,467 --> 00:27:15,127
The victim is still
alive. For now.
508
00:27:17,733 --> 00:27:19,433
Please help!
509
00:27:19,567 --> 00:27:23,567
Now now, remember
your part. Like we practised.
510
00:27:25,833 --> 00:27:28,033
♪ The babies on the bus go ♪
511
00:27:28,167 --> 00:27:30,027
argh, wah! Wah! Wah!
512
00:27:33,833 --> 00:27:36,633
Good boy. Here, have a rusk.
513
00:27:36,767 --> 00:27:38,027
Thank you.
514
00:27:38,167 --> 00:27:38,967
You say you're giving
us a fighting chance,
515
00:27:39,100 --> 00:27:40,570
at least tell us where he is!
516
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:45,300
Oh Terry, talking to you
sometimes is absolute agony.
517
00:27:47,633 --> 00:27:50,803
But I'll tell you this,
whoever finds him
518
00:27:50,933 --> 00:27:55,773
is gonna be more miserable
than they've ever been before.
519
00:27:56,967 --> 00:27:59,897
[Phone beeping]
520
00:28:00,033 --> 00:28:02,673
Right, let's think
about what he said.
521
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:04,700
- Talking to me was agony.
- Yeah.
522
00:28:05,667 --> 00:28:06,667
"Agony."
523
00:28:07,900 --> 00:28:08,900
Get me the map.
524
00:28:14,700 --> 00:28:17,800
[Glass shatters]
525
00:28:17,933 --> 00:28:21,573
Gemma, I just
wanted to look at it.
526
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,070
Right. The last body was
found at shelmondbury.
527
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:27,400
[Gemma] Ah ha.
528
00:28:27,567 --> 00:28:31,267
We know the a346
isn't passable by coach.
529
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,330
So he's either going
to kirkby Steven,
530
00:28:34,467 --> 00:28:35,697
millthrop or garsdale.
531
00:28:37,367 --> 00:28:38,667
Well they're all tour stops.
532
00:28:40,433 --> 00:28:42,933
And he said, "whoever
finds the victim
533
00:28:43,067 --> 00:28:45,797
is gonna be more miserable
than they've ever been before."
534
00:28:48,233 --> 00:28:51,873
Oh my god! I
just figured it out.
535
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,800
Terry, I've actually stepped
inside the mind of the killer.
536
00:28:55,933 --> 00:28:57,213
Well quickly
Gemma, step back out
537
00:28:57,267 --> 00:28:58,627
and tell me what
you're thinking!
538
00:28:58,767 --> 00:29:02,127
- Margaret the misery.
- [Man screaming]
539
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,570
The most feared museum
manager in all the dales.
540
00:29:06,700 --> 00:29:07,700
Yep.
541
00:29:09,167 --> 00:29:10,467
Fairfield mill torture museum!
542
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,170
Right.
543
00:29:12,300 --> 00:29:14,930
Quick, call henrietta, they
can get there quicker than us.
544
00:29:15,067 --> 00:29:16,127
Well come on.
545
00:29:17,433 --> 00:29:22,273
- [Siren wailing]
- [Suspenseful music]
546
00:29:25,667 --> 00:29:27,927
Of course! "The
babies on the bus."
547
00:29:28,067 --> 00:29:30,727
Please, can you make
sure you tell my wife
548
00:29:30,867 --> 00:29:32,867
he dressed me like this!
549
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:35,200
Fair enough.
550
00:29:35,233 --> 00:29:36,333
- We should untie him.
- No!
551
00:29:37,933 --> 00:29:42,603
Sorry to be rude, it's just
he's got me stretched out here,
552
00:29:42,733 --> 00:29:47,033
but if you release the
tension, that axe up there,
553
00:29:47,167 --> 00:29:48,327
it'll drop and cut me in two.
554
00:29:48,467 --> 00:29:51,227
Don't panic, we are
trained professionals.
555
00:29:51,367 --> 00:29:53,407
Please just try to be calm
and we'll pop you off in a jiffy.
556
00:29:53,433 --> 00:29:55,633
I'm just gonna tighten
this rope slightly.
557
00:29:56,633 --> 00:29:58,103
[Barry screams]
558
00:29:58,233 --> 00:30:03,133
- [Blood spurting]
- [Suspenseful music]
559
00:30:13,867 --> 00:30:18,027
That's the second person
I've cut in half this year.
560
00:30:19,667 --> 00:30:23,367
Oh, I'm afraid we got here
too late. The trap went off.
561
00:30:23,567 --> 00:30:25,697
And you just found
him cut in half?
562
00:30:25,833 --> 00:30:28,803
We did find him, yes,
we definitely found him.
563
00:30:28,933 --> 00:30:30,613
There was just nothing
we could do to help.
564
00:30:30,733 --> 00:30:32,833
She's right, we
did nothing to help.
565
00:30:32,967 --> 00:30:34,177
Oh, I mean it's
all part of the job,
566
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,830
but it never gets any easier.
567
00:30:37,967 --> 00:30:41,197
Don't touch me. So
er, where next, Terry?
568
00:30:41,333 --> 00:30:44,573
I mean, we must be right
behind him by now, surely? Yes?
569
00:30:44,700 --> 00:30:49,000
From Fairfield mill,
where to go? Where to go?
570
00:30:49,133 --> 00:30:51,573
Well these days there's
only one place you can go.
571
00:30:53,067 --> 00:30:56,067
- Terry's most hated place.
- Oh god Gemma, no.
572
00:30:57,067 --> 00:30:58,697
White scar caves.
573
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:04,730
Imagine darkness.
The darkest darkness.
574
00:31:06,533 --> 00:31:09,003
Well it's like that
with a gift shop.
575
00:31:09,133 --> 00:31:11,173
Terry won't go in,
he's afraid of the dark.
576
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,470
Right, let's get a team
to white scar caves.
577
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,970
Terry's not coming.
He's a coward.
578
00:31:19,100 --> 00:31:21,330
Just so you know, i'm
not afraid of the dark.
579
00:31:23,167 --> 00:31:25,467
I'm afraid of the
tour guide there.
580
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:29,230
She caresses me in the gloom.
581
00:31:33,833 --> 00:31:36,703
[Willy whistling]
582
00:31:41,033 --> 00:31:42,973
There's got to be
more. A connection.
583
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:45,770
What's the next
verse in that song?
584
00:31:45,900 --> 00:31:50,000
After the babies on the
bus? Um, it's... [hums]
585
00:31:50,133 --> 00:31:51,273
The mummies on the bus.
586
00:31:53,567 --> 00:31:56,127
- Do you mean the mums?
- [Women groaning]
587
00:31:56,267 --> 00:31:58,167
[Willy whistles]
588
00:31:58,300 --> 00:32:01,270
- Oh god! With their bums...
- And tums.
589
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,630
Sorry, you've lost me.
590
00:32:03,767 --> 00:32:05,327
Willy's the one we're after!
591
00:32:05,467 --> 00:32:08,597
He's got a coach load of
mums, just like in the song.
592
00:32:08,733 --> 00:32:10,283
And he actually told
us he was the murderer.
593
00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:12,100
- Yeah.
- Pardon?
594
00:32:12,233 --> 00:32:14,873
- Nothing. Let's get moving.
- Let's go!
595
00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:17,727
We'll follow you in the coach.
596
00:32:17,867 --> 00:32:19,927
Are you sure? It's much slower.
597
00:32:20,067 --> 00:32:22,297
I know, but I
really like driving it.
598
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,570
What?
599
00:32:25,700 --> 00:32:29,570
Terry! Focus. We're
hunting a killer, it'll take ages!
600
00:32:29,700 --> 00:32:31,930
Oh Gemma, please.
Please, please, please?
601
00:32:33,867 --> 00:32:35,197
Fine!
602
00:32:35,333 --> 00:32:36,983
Your call. Right, we'll
see you at the caves.
603
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,570
And can we just get
this bugger caught,
604
00:32:38,633 --> 00:32:39,873
because this whole thing
605
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,240
is really starting
to do my tits in.
606
00:32:41,267 --> 00:32:43,797
[Siren wails]
607
00:32:57,367 --> 00:32:58,897
We did it Terry,
608
00:32:59,067 --> 00:33:01,197
a whole police department
couldn't solve this case
609
00:33:01,333 --> 00:33:02,873
and we did it.
610
00:33:03,067 --> 00:33:04,777
Remind me to take those
exact same words to Vicky
611
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,070
when I see her.
612
00:33:06,167 --> 00:33:09,627
The big news is, the
roadworks on the a346.
613
00:33:09,767 --> 00:33:11,597
I've hated that
road since it opened.
614
00:33:12,900 --> 00:33:13,900
Bugger!
615
00:33:14,700 --> 00:33:16,230
You alright?
616
00:33:16,367 --> 00:33:21,067
Gem, we may have made
the tiniest of minor errors.
617
00:33:21,533 --> 00:33:23,103
What?
618
00:33:23,233 --> 00:33:24,683
Have you taken a wrong turn in
your super sweet space coach?
619
00:33:24,700 --> 00:33:26,430
Ha ha, yeah.
620
00:33:26,567 --> 00:33:29,397
No, but also, there is a chance
621
00:33:29,533 --> 00:33:32,303
we might have sent the
police to the wrong place.
622
00:33:32,433 --> 00:33:37,173
- Where the murderer, isn't.
- We've done what?
623
00:33:37,300 --> 00:33:39,370
It's something Willy
said the other day.
624
00:33:39,500 --> 00:33:41,370
I prefer the
old-fashioned routes.
625
00:33:42,900 --> 00:33:44,900
The caves are on the a19
626
00:33:45,067 --> 00:33:47,627
and Willy wouldn't
use that road either.
627
00:33:47,767 --> 00:33:49,897
And the old-fashioned
route doesn't go to the caves.
628
00:33:50,067 --> 00:33:51,067
Where does it go?!
629
00:33:54,067 --> 00:33:55,067
Dead man's drop.
630
00:33:55,933 --> 00:33:58,403
[Soft music]
631
00:33:59,467 --> 00:34:02,267
[Singers chanting]
632
00:34:27,267 --> 00:34:29,667
[Siren wails]
633
00:34:34,300 --> 00:34:37,500
- Well, he's not here.
- What?
634
00:34:37,633 --> 00:34:39,873
Oh we've dropped
a right bollock here.
635
00:34:40,067 --> 00:34:41,277
How are we going
to tell henrietta?
636
00:34:41,300 --> 00:34:42,730
Well, I'm gonna
do what I've done
637
00:34:42,867 --> 00:34:44,827
every other time we've
dropped a bollock, blag it.
638
00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:48,297
- [Phone ringing]
- Yes?
639
00:34:48,433 --> 00:34:51,333
Henrietta? Hi babes.
640
00:34:51,467 --> 00:34:54,427
Yeah, tiny change of plan.
641
00:34:54,567 --> 00:34:56,927
So Terry's had a
bit of a brainwave,
642
00:34:57,067 --> 00:34:59,697
so Watkins is a traditionalist.
643
00:34:59,833 --> 00:35:01,773
He doesn't like new roads.
644
00:35:01,900 --> 00:35:06,230
So Terry's cleverly deduced
that he's at dead man's drop.
645
00:35:06,367 --> 00:35:08,177
Dead, dead man's drop?
That's miles away from here.
646
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:09,400
You're closer than we are.
647
00:35:09,533 --> 00:35:11,133
- Don't touch me.
- I know, I know.
648
00:35:11,267 --> 00:35:13,067
- We're turning round now.
- Right, okay.
649
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,270
Look, I'm supposed
to say if you find him,
650
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:16,640
don't put yourself
in harm's way,
651
00:35:16,667 --> 00:35:17,907
but you know, maybe
weigh things up.
652
00:35:17,933 --> 00:35:20,273
Have a pop. God loves a trier.
653
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:21,400
Go.
654
00:35:22,233 --> 00:35:24,773
[Siren wails]
655
00:35:26,333 --> 00:35:27,833
Alright, bye then!
656
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,230
[Upbeat music]
657
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,040
Well, I hope you've
enjoyed your day out
658
00:35:38,067 --> 00:35:39,227
with Willy's wonder tours.
659
00:35:39,367 --> 00:35:41,067
And as an additional treat,
660
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,730
in a moment you are
going to roll off this cliff
661
00:35:43,867 --> 00:35:45,697
and plummet to your death.
662
00:35:45,833 --> 00:35:47,503
So, if you've got any feedback
663
00:35:47,633 --> 00:35:50,273
and wanna fill in the comment
card, please do it quickly.
664
00:35:52,067 --> 00:35:53,797
No need to mention
this on trip adviser.
665
00:36:03,867 --> 00:36:08,067
And so the final piece
fits exactly into place,
666
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,430
for what is a spectacle
without an audience?
667
00:36:14,633 --> 00:36:17,473
[Orchestral music]
668
00:36:24,833 --> 00:36:26,333
You might wanna
stop right there.
669
00:36:27,767 --> 00:36:31,227
See this wire? It's
attached to the brakes.
670
00:36:31,367 --> 00:36:33,727
One tug and all the
mummies on the bus
671
00:36:33,867 --> 00:36:37,397
most certainly will be
shush shush shushed.
672
00:36:37,533 --> 00:36:38,533
Permanently.
673
00:36:39,367 --> 00:36:41,297
Willy, please stop.
674
00:36:41,433 --> 00:36:44,103
These are innocent people,
they don't deserve to die!
675
00:36:44,233 --> 00:36:48,073
No, trust you just to
see things at face value.
676
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:51,730
It's not the bodies, it's
what they represent.
677
00:36:51,867 --> 00:36:53,927
What, the lyrics to
"wheels on the bus?"
678
00:36:54,067 --> 00:36:55,567
It's just a nursery rhyme.
679
00:36:55,700 --> 00:36:59,970
To you maybe. But not to
people like me and Terry.
680
00:37:00,100 --> 00:37:03,970
Hearing it day in, day
out for over thirty years.
681
00:37:04,100 --> 00:37:05,930
I used to be a normal
coach driver, me,
682
00:37:06,067 --> 00:37:07,597
just like all the others.
683
00:37:07,733 --> 00:37:09,603
High cholesterol and
a broken marriage,
684
00:37:11,167 --> 00:37:14,627
but the endless
sing-songs, over and over!
685
00:37:14,767 --> 00:37:16,197
They drill inside your mind.
686
00:37:17,867 --> 00:37:19,907
They make you stray from
the duel carriageway of decency
687
00:37:19,933 --> 00:37:23,273
and take the diversion
to bloody madness!
688
00:37:24,633 --> 00:37:26,633
I've been pretending
to be a scotsman!
689
00:37:27,700 --> 00:37:29,130
He's right.
690
00:37:29,267 --> 00:37:31,597
- It gets in your soul, gem.
- What?
691
00:37:31,733 --> 00:37:34,103
You're trying to stop them
singing that song, aren't you?
692
00:37:36,333 --> 00:37:39,203
Jackpot! Mothers
will tell their children
693
00:37:39,333 --> 00:37:40,603
that it's bad luck,
694
00:37:40,733 --> 00:37:43,433
because if people sing
the song, people die!
695
00:37:44,767 --> 00:37:48,767
And I will be a hero
to all the coach drivers.
696
00:37:50,100 --> 00:37:53,070
There'll be a statue of
me on every forecourt
697
00:37:53,133 --> 00:37:56,303
in every service station
up and down the land.
698
00:37:58,267 --> 00:38:00,297
That song plays in
my head every night
699
00:38:00,433 --> 00:38:01,933
when I'm trying to get to sleep.
700
00:38:03,300 --> 00:38:07,330
One tug of this wire,
the brakes come off
701
00:38:07,467 --> 00:38:09,467
and you will be free of it.
702
00:38:11,167 --> 00:38:12,397
It sounds amazing.
703
00:38:12,533 --> 00:38:14,903
What, are you agreeing with him?
704
00:38:15,067 --> 00:38:16,827
We should be
stopping people like him!
705
00:38:18,300 --> 00:38:19,730
I'm afraid Terry's with me.
706
00:38:22,567 --> 00:38:23,697
Bye girls!
707
00:38:27,700 --> 00:38:30,500
[Women screaming]
708
00:38:37,467 --> 00:38:39,497
I'll keep that song
in my head thanks.
709
00:38:39,633 --> 00:38:41,773
You're not killing
all those people!
710
00:38:41,900 --> 00:38:42,970
Terry, no!
711
00:38:45,433 --> 00:38:47,073
Yes Terry!
712
00:38:47,167 --> 00:38:48,897
Join them! Join them!
713
00:38:50,067 --> 00:38:52,797
Don't! You'll go over with them!
714
00:38:56,433 --> 00:38:59,233
[Women screaming]
715
00:39:03,533 --> 00:39:04,533
No!
716
00:39:05,267 --> 00:39:07,667
Yes! Yes!
717
00:39:08,700 --> 00:39:11,600
[Watkins laughing]
718
00:39:13,700 --> 00:39:16,070
[Bus beeping]
719
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,630
[Soft music]
720
00:39:28,367 --> 00:39:29,797
Terry!
721
00:39:29,933 --> 00:39:30,933
Yes!
722
00:39:32,967 --> 00:39:37,867
- [Siren wailing]
- [Soft music]
723
00:39:40,567 --> 00:39:41,967
Right, let's go.
724
00:39:42,100 --> 00:39:45,300
Are you quite mad?
He is a murderer!
725
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,130
No no, I shall stay
here, thank you.
726
00:39:49,267 --> 00:39:51,527
Make sure you lock that door
when you shut it behind you.
727
00:39:52,833 --> 00:39:55,173
You cut him off, i'm
gonna kick his head in.
728
00:39:56,900 --> 00:39:57,900
God, I love this job.
729
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:10,470
Oh, someone's
been a naughty boy.
730
00:40:12,067 --> 00:40:14,527
- I'm not resisting arrest.
- I didn't hear!
731
00:40:14,667 --> 00:40:17,067
Hello? Is that the gazette?
732
00:40:17,133 --> 00:40:19,573
Yes, it's chief inspector
henrietta Shepherd calling.
733
00:40:19,700 --> 00:40:23,170
We've caught the killer. Yes,
I'm arresting him right now.
734
00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:26,170
And I must say,
i'm being very brave.
735
00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:28,400
Willy Watkins,
you're nicked son.
736
00:40:28,533 --> 00:40:31,373
Oh, that's the best bit. I
love it when she does that bit.
737
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:37,430
[Women gagging]
738
00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:49,500
He's my fiancee.
739
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:52,730
Oh, you were so brave!
740
00:40:52,867 --> 00:40:55,327
- Oh...
- I can't believe that.
741
00:40:57,067 --> 00:41:00,227
Oh yes, yes, sorry, I need
to get you untied, yeah.
742
00:41:00,367 --> 00:41:02,127
That's much more important. Ooh!
743
00:41:03,067 --> 00:41:05,527
[Soft music]
744
00:41:11,133 --> 00:41:14,833
The funny thing is,
you lot think it's all over.
745
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,430
Oh, it is over for
you, my friend.
746
00:41:18,567 --> 00:41:21,097
We are gonna lock you up
and throw away the key, yeah.
747
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:24,340
Well, I mean we're not, we're
not gonna throw away the key.
748
00:41:24,367 --> 00:41:26,427
The keys are really
expensive, did you know that?
749
00:41:26,567 --> 00:41:28,667
But what I'm saying is,
we're not gonna need the keys
750
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,570
for a very long time because
you will be locked in the cell.
751
00:41:32,900 --> 00:41:35,470
Yeah, be as smug
as you like, copper,
752
00:41:37,067 --> 00:41:38,697
there's a lot more
bodies to find.
753
00:41:39,833 --> 00:41:41,833
And a lot more songs to be sung.
754
00:41:44,567 --> 00:41:47,667
"If you go down
to the woods today,
755
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,330
you're in for a big surprise."
756
00:41:51,533 --> 00:41:54,103
What are you on about now?
757
00:41:54,233 --> 00:41:56,603
I've killed more people.
They're in the woods.
758
00:41:56,733 --> 00:41:57,873
Did you do any training?
759
00:42:04,667 --> 00:42:07,267
You know, when I thought
you'd gone off that cliff before,
760
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:08,400
I was proper gutted.
761
00:42:09,500 --> 00:42:11,200
- Gutted?
- Ah ha.
762
00:42:11,333 --> 00:42:13,073
Just gutted?
763
00:42:13,133 --> 00:42:16,303
Not heart-broken or devastated,
764
00:42:16,433 --> 00:42:18,483
to the point where you thought
you'd never find love again?
765
00:42:18,500 --> 00:42:21,100
Oh I'd find love again, I
wasn't worried about that.
766
00:42:21,233 --> 00:42:23,703
Probably with a
younger, athletic man
767
00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:25,833
who ravishes me every day.
768
00:42:25,967 --> 00:42:28,527
What, full-on ravish,
or just a quickie
769
00:42:28,667 --> 00:42:30,427
where we leave
most of our pjs on?
770
00:42:30,567 --> 00:42:33,367
- Oh, fully ravished.
- Poor bugger.
771
00:42:33,500 --> 00:42:36,170
[Gemma chuckles]
772
00:42:37,700 --> 00:42:40,170
Do you know,
when I looked at you,
773
00:42:41,633 --> 00:42:43,873
you seemed to be loving
driving the coach today.
774
00:42:45,233 --> 00:42:47,173
Are you sure you don't
want to go back to it?
775
00:42:47,300 --> 00:42:49,870
I never wanna get
on a coach again.
776
00:42:50,067 --> 00:42:51,777
There's something about
almost plummeting off of a cliff
777
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,770
that really puts you off.
778
00:42:53,900 --> 00:42:56,270
Just, sometimes I think
you're only going along
779
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:59,670
with all this detective agency
thing to make me happy.
780
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:01,070
At first, yeah.
781
00:43:02,767 --> 00:43:04,897
Now, as long as all of our cases
782
00:43:05,067 --> 00:43:07,427
are based on the
routes of old coach trips,
783
00:43:08,767 --> 00:43:11,397
- we could make a fortune.
- Yeah.
784
00:43:14,867 --> 00:43:17,597
- Oh god!
- Do you mind? We're in bed!
785
00:43:17,733 --> 00:43:20,833
Well, sofa bed, but it
still says bed in the title.
786
00:43:20,967 --> 00:43:22,797
The chief inspector's
told me to tell you
787
00:43:22,933 --> 00:43:26,773
that she really can't thank
the both of you enough.
788
00:43:26,900 --> 00:43:28,100
And on a personal note,
789
00:43:28,233 --> 00:43:29,803
I suppose I have to
say thanks as well.
790
00:43:29,933 --> 00:43:33,133
Aw, nearly made you
sick saying that, didn't it?
791
00:43:33,267 --> 00:43:35,127
Yes. Yes it did.
792
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,730
The chief inspector also
added that with a bit of training
793
00:43:39,867 --> 00:43:42,697
there could be a place on
the force for a pair like you.
794
00:43:42,833 --> 00:43:45,703
And on a further personal
note, I disagree with that.
795
00:43:45,833 --> 00:43:48,973
Well, tell her thank you.
796
00:43:49,100 --> 00:43:52,530
That's very kind, but
you know, we like to,
797
00:43:52,667 --> 00:43:53,867
to tread our own path.
798
00:43:55,567 --> 00:43:59,227
Sure, it's a tricky path,
fraught with danger,
799
00:44:00,867 --> 00:44:03,467
but there's a whole world
out there that needs our help.
800
00:44:05,367 --> 00:44:07,397
And we're gonna
give them that help.
801
00:44:07,533 --> 00:44:09,093
Not by sticking to
the rule book, oh no,
802
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,500
but by playing hard
and fast, two mavericks
803
00:44:11,633 --> 00:44:14,503
fighting the fight on
behalf of the little people!
804
00:44:14,633 --> 00:44:18,333
What, the gnomes? Are we
going back to the gnomes?
805
00:44:18,467 --> 00:44:20,927
But don't worry, if
you ever need us,
806
00:44:21,067 --> 00:44:23,567
in fact let's just say
next time you need us,
807
00:44:24,933 --> 00:44:27,833
just give us a call
and we'll be there.
808
00:44:27,967 --> 00:44:32,397
Except on Tuesday nights.
That's when Gemma's got zumba.
809
00:44:32,533 --> 00:44:33,533
Terry!
810
00:44:34,333 --> 00:44:35,403
Did I ruin it?
811
00:44:38,133 --> 00:44:41,133
- I ruined it, didn't I?
- [Gemma sighs]
812
00:44:41,267 --> 00:44:43,697
[Soft music]
60182
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