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1
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:10,174
[DYING TROLL NOISES]
2
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,236
HA HA!
3
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:14,514
YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN YOUR TROLL
MORE STAMINA, ANGUS.
4
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:15,514
EH! ARRGH.
5
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,775
SORE LOSER.
6
00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:20,278
GET ME ANOTHER BEER.
7
00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:21,276
EH-EH.
8
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:23,077
WINNERS TALK,
LOSERS WALK.
9
00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:24,779
NOW, GO GET THE BEER.
10
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:27,491
GIMME THAT!
11
00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:30,004
[BELCH]
12
00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:30,004
NICE.
13
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:30,520
[BELCH]
14
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:30,520
NICE.
15
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:40,225
YEAH, RIGHT.
16
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,740
I WISH THE COUCH WOULD JUST
ROLL OVER TO THE FRIDGE.
17
00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:45,542
THEN I WOULD BE WILLING
TO REACH FOR THE BEER,
18
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:49,105
BUT THE WALK AND THE REACH
COMBO IS FOR POOR PEOPLE.
19
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:51,505
THERE'S GOTTA BE
AN EASIER WAY.
20
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:54,478
LET'S SEE WHAT
WE GOT.
21
00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:57,215
HOLD ON, ANGUS.
22
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,323
IT'S NOT AS GOOD
AS IT LOOKS.
23
00:01:59,385 --> 00:02:01,745
WE'D STILL HAVE TO
LEAN INTO THEM.
24
00:02:01,821 --> 00:02:03,691
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
WE'LL GET IT.
25
00:02:03,756 --> 00:02:06,186
LEANING IS GOOD
FOR THE OLD PELVIS,
26
00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:08,629
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
27
00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:12,172
YOU GOT IT, BRO!
28
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:15,244
DECLINED?
29
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:16,771
WHAT THE FUCK
IS THAT SHIT?
30
00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:19,836
FINE. THERE'S PLENTY
WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
31
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,338
DECLINED?
32
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,380
DECLINED?
33
00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:28,675
DECLINED?! I'LL CHECK
THE ACCOUNTS.
34
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,891
YOU'RE RIGHT, ANGUS.
35
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:34,622
MY ACCOUNTANT'S
GETTING A PHONE CALL.
36
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:36,517
HEY, ALAN,
WHAT THE FUCK?
37
00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:37,419
CLAY.
38
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,490
YOUR ACCOUNTS HAVE BEEN
FROZEN BY THE IRS.
39
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:41,429
THERE'S TOO MUCH
COOKING THE BOOKS.
40
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,234
WHY DO YOU THINK
I'M IN JAIL?
41
00:02:43,296 --> 00:02:44,226
JAIL?
42
00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:45,227
YES, IT'S NICE.
43
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:46,768
WAITER!
ANOTHER PIÑA COLADA.
44
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,673
AHEM! ANYWAY, CLAY,
YOU BETTER GET A LAWYER.
45
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:52,406
I ALREADY HAVE A LAWYER.
I'M CALLING HIM RIGHT NOW.
46
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:54,572
DON'T BOTHER.
HE'S RIGHT HERE.
47
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:55,841
HEY, CLAY,
YOU'RE UP A CREEK,
48
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,839
BUT IF YOU'RE
CONVICTED THIS WEEKEND,
49
00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,911
YOU MIGHT STILL MAKE IT
FOR THE LUAU.
50
00:02:59,979 --> 00:03:01,919
FUCK THE LUAU.
I'M NOT GOING TO JAIL,
51
00:03:01,981 --> 00:03:03,521
NO MATTER HOW GREAT IT IS.
52
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:04,723
WELL,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
53
00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:07,294
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS SELL EVERYTHING,
54
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:10,263
GET A JOB LIKE
A NORMAL PERSON,
55
00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:12,433
OR YOU CAN COME
TO THE LUAU.
56
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,962
YOU USELESS SONS OF BITCHES!
57
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,728
LIKE A...NORMAL...PERSON?
58
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:28,436
YEAH. DOMESTIC.
59
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,278
YUM.
60
00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:33,413
IT'S A GREAT DAY HERE
AT COGS AND WIDGETS.
61
00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:34,649
HOLD, PLEASE.
62
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:37,324
GREAT DAY HERE AT COGS AND
WIDGETS. HOLD, PLEASE.
63
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,853
IT'S A GREAT DAY HERE
AT COGS AND WIDGETS.
64
00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:41,249
HOLD, PLEASE.
65
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:42,721
4...5...6.
66
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:43,889
ONLY 38 MORE PAYMENTS,
67
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,987
AND WE CAN TAKE IT HOME,
ANGUS!
68
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,599
YOU CAN ALSO HAVE THE REMOTE
FOR ANOTHER $20.
69
00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:52,402
I DON'T NEED IT.
I LIKE TO GET UP AND WALK.
70
00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:55,265
IT'S GOOD FOR MY LEGS.
71
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:56,638
[SHUDDERS] OOH...
72
00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:57,903
GOTTA GET MY MONEY BACK...
73
00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,741
OTHERWISE, I'LL HAVE TO
BUY ALL-NEW PANTS.
74
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:03,437
GONNA FIGHT THE IRS.
75
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:05,878
WE'RE GONNA FIGHT 'EM.
76
00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:07,975
BUT WE'LL NEED SOME CASH
TO TIDE US OVER.
77
00:04:08,047 --> 00:04:09,247
LET'S GO.
78
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:14,990
GOOD MORNING, MAMA.
79
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:16,764
HOW ARE YOU DOING
TODAY?
80
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:17,723
DON'T TAUNT ME LIKE THAT.
81
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:21,330
YOU KNOW DAMN WELL
I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M DOING!
82
00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,004
I'M SURE YOU'RE FINE,
GRANDMA.
83
00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:24,702
YEAH? WELL,
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
84
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,374
YOU'RE THE SON
OF AN IDIOT,
85
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,332
AND YOU GO TO SCHOOL
FOR IDIOTS.
86
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:29,841
DOCTOR SAID
YOU LOOKED ALL RIGHT.
87
00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:32,642
OF COURSE SHE DID.
I HAPPEN TO LOOK GREAT.
88
00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:34,365
LISTEN, WE WON'T REALLY
KNOW ANYTHING
89
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,910
UNTIL MY TESTS COME BACK.
90
00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:37,735
I DON'T KNOW.
91
00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:40,280
AT MY AGE, YOU NEVER KNOW
WHAT COULD GO WRONG.
92
00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:44,016
I COULD BE ROTTING FROM THE
INSIDE OUT FOR ALL I KNOW.
93
00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:45,553
OH, GOD!
94
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,918
THE DOCTOR WILL MAKE YOU BETTER,
MAMA. I KNOW SHE WILL.
95
00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:49,587
HEY, GRANDMA,
MAYBE THESE WILL HELP.
96
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:52,026
WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE,
VITAMINS?
97
00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:53,831
NO! THEY'RE MAGIC BEANS.
98
00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:56,403
YOU DUNCE!
HOW MUCH WERE THEY?
99
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:57,762
$49.
100
00:04:57,830 --> 00:04:58,770
WHAT?!
101
00:04:58,831 --> 00:05:00,931
YOU GO RETURN THEM
RIGHT NOW!
102
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,700
I CAN'T. THE GYPSY
WHO SOLD THEM TO ME
103
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:06,910
FLEW AWAY
HIGH UP INTO THE SKY.
104
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:10,613
ALL RIGHT, ANGUS,
LET'S FIND SOME CRAP TO SELL.
105
00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:15,579
HEY, CHECK OUT THOSE ROCKS.
106
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:19,089
THEY'RE OUR TICKET
TO EASY STREET.
107
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,652
BAG 'EM, ANGUS.
108
00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:23,321
GIMME THOSE BEANS!
109
00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:24,789
NEVER!
110
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:27,988
JOHNNY, MR. JENKINS.
111
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:27,988
HEY, CLAY.
112
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,761
TODAY IS YOUR
LUCKY DAY.
113
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:30,899
YOU'RE LOOKIN' GOOD.
114
00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:32,603
MR. JENKINS, I'M STRAIGHT.
115
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,465
CAME HERE TO OFFER
YOU AND JOHNNY
116
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:36,344
THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME.
117
00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:37,172
I'M IN, I'M IN!
118
00:05:37,236 --> 00:05:38,966
I KNEW WE'D BE PARTNERS
SOMEDAY, CLAY.
119
00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:41,338
WELL, AS MUCH AS I WOULD
LOVE TO BE PARTNERS...
120
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:44,407
WITH AN EXPERIENCED SALESMAN
SUCH AS YOURSELF,
121
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:45,647
I JUST CAN'T.
122
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:48,882
YOU'RE TOO VALUABLE TO ME AS AN
EMPLOYEE TO BE MY PARTNER.
123
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:50,418
GEE WHIZ. THANKS.
124
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:52,493
DOUGIE! DOUGIE,
DON'T LEAVE ME.
125
00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,392
[PANTING]
I'M DYING!
126
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:57,594
BUTT OUT, OLD LADY.
I'M RUNNIN' THINGS.
127
00:05:57,657 --> 00:05:58,457
OH, SNAP.
128
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,764
OH, NO, YOU DIDN'T!
129
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:02,628
OW!
130
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:04,895
AW, COME ON.
131
00:06:04,964 --> 00:06:08,634
CAN YOU PUT A PRICE TAG
ON A PERSON'S PEACE OF MIND?
132
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:09,671
NO. 'CAUSE
IT'S INVISIBLE.
133
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:11,996
RIGHT, ASSMAR.
PEACE OF MIND IS INVISIBLE.
134
00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:15,981
BUT THIS ANCIENT TIBETAN
HEALING ROCK IS NOT.
135
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,535
WHICH IS A GOOD
SELLING POINT.
136
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:20,081
I KNOW,
'CAUSE I'M IN SALES.
137
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,976
THESE TIBETAN HEALING ROCKS
138
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,048
HAVE ANCIENT TIBETAN
HEALING POWERS!
139
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,987
THEY CAN HEAL ANYTHING.
140
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,923
YOU SEE, GUYS,
IT'S LIKE THIS.
141
00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:30,788
ON THE ONE HAND,
YOU GOT YOUR CHI,
142
00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:32,927
IN THE OTHER HAND,
YOU GOT YOUR CHAKRAS.
143
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:34,792
AND THE ROCKS BRING
THAT SHIT TOGETHER
144
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:39,531
AND MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
IT'S FUCKIN' MYSTICAL.
145
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:40,269
WOW!
146
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:40,269
WOW!
147
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,003
IT'S OUR DUTY
TO GET THESE ROCKS
148
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,968
TO THE PEOPLE
WHO NEED THEM MOST...
149
00:06:44,036 --> 00:06:46,536
FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE
OF $100 A ROCK.
150
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:50,406
THINK OF IT AS A PUBLIC SERVICE,
LIKE A GARBAGE MAN.
151
00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:51,876
OOH!
152
00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:51,876
OOH!
153
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:53,684
HOW DO WE KNOW
WHO TO CALL?
154
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,146
JUST CALL PEOPLE
IN THE PHONE BOOK.
155
00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:57,424
I'M TIRED OF EXPLAINING
THIS SHIT TO YOU GUYS.
156
00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:59,723
I GOTTA GO OUT
AND FIND SOME MORE ROCKS.
157
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:00,816
JOHNNY,
YOU'RE IN CHARGE.
158
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:03,087
[SNARLING]
159
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:03,087
I WANT ALL THESE ROCKS SOLD
160
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,686
BY THE TIME I GET BACK.
161
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:06,788
OK, TEAM. YOU HEARD HIM!
162
00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:10,899
THERE ARE SICK PEOPLE OUT THERE
WHO NEED THESE ROCKS!
163
00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:11,803
WE'RE THEIR ONLY HOPE!
164
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:14,904
SO LET'S HIT THE PHONES
AND DO SOME GOOD.
165
00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:16,997
YEAH. WHERE'S
THE LIQUOR CABINET?
166
00:07:17,069 --> 00:07:20,169
WHOA, LOOK AT THAT TV!
167
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,840
LEWIS, WHAT'S UP
WITH THE IRS?
168
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:24,479
WE'RE ALL DONE HERE.
169
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:25,184
AND...
170
00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:26,914
AND WE'RE GONNA
KICK BACK NOW.
171
00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:29,219
TELL ME WHO THE AGENT IS
AND WHERE TO FIND HIM.
172
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,922
YOUR MAN
IS HERB STERLY.
173
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:32,723
YOU WANT ME
TO SPELL THAT?
174
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:34,185
[SIGHS] OK. GO
175
00:07:34,253 --> 00:07:36,463
IF THERE'S ANYTHING
WRONG WITH ME,
176
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:38,462
I'LL SUE
THE TOBACCO COMPANIES.
177
00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:39,764
[COUGH COUGH]
178
00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:41,156
AND THE PESTICIDE
COMPANIES
179
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:43,127
AND THE BASTARD
WHO INVENTED FRENCH FRIES.
180
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:46,826
HOW COULD SOMETHING
SO BAD FOR YOU TASTE SO GOOD?
181
00:07:46,899 --> 00:07:48,499
[RING]
182
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,738
DON'T HELLO ME, DOCTOR.
183
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,573
I'M A DYING OLD LADY!
184
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,578
JUST GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT.
185
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:56,581
HUH?
186
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:59,552
A SEXUALLY
TRANSMITTED DISEASE?
187
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,152
CHLAMYDIA?
188
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,884
HALLELUJAH!
189
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:04,679
I'M GONNA LIVE!
190
00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:07,850
OF COURSE, I'M GONNA
HAVE TO BUY NEW UNDERWEAR.
191
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,620
WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
192
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:13,589
EVERYONE I'VE HAD SEX WITH
IN THE LAST 6 MONTHS?
193
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:16,859
JESUS CHRIST!
WHAT A HUMILIATION!
194
00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:17,759
[SIGHS]
195
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,630
YEAH. I UNDERSTAND,
DOCTOR.
196
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:22,869
BUT, UH...YOU BETTER PUT
YOUR HUSBAND ON THE PHONE
197
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:26,105
AND GO WASH OUT
YOUR COOCHIE.
198
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,240
THIS IS THAT RAT
HERB STERLY'S HOUSE.
199
00:08:30,309 --> 00:08:31,209
RRR! RRR!
200
00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:34,947
YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR
CHANCE, LITTLE BUDDY.
201
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,054
HEY, GUYS, COME ON IN.
202
00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:41,218
I'M JUST PUTTING UP
MY CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS
203
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:41,987
5 MONTHS EARLY.
204
00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:43,924
WELL, WE DON'T WANT
TO BOTHER YOU.
205
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,660
WE JUST WANT
TO BRIBE YOU.
206
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:46,755
I'M SORRY.
207
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,956
DID YOU JUST SAY YOU WANTED
TO BRIBE ME, CLAY ZEEMAN?
208
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,229
YES, I DID.
209
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:53,627
ONE MORE TAKE,
WITH FEELING, THIS TIME.
210
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,799
THERE WAS PLENTY
OF FEELIN' IN THAT LAST ONE.
211
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:56,768
I FUCKIN' NAILED IT.
212
00:08:56,836 --> 00:08:59,766
HA HA. THAT'S ALL I NEED...
213
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:01,239
AND I GOT IT
ALL ON TAPE.
214
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:05,077
THANKS,
AND MERRY CHRISTMAS.
215
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:07,352
THANKS TO YOUR CASE,
216
00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:10,223
I'M THE I.R.S EMPLOYEE
OF THE MONTH.
217
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,883
HOORAY!
218
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,215
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!
219
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,687
I'VE NEVER MET AN
ASSHOLE CRIPPLE BEFORE.
220
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,756
USUALLY,
THEY'RE SO NICE.
221
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:24,196
Dad: IT'S A TANZANIAN
HEALING ROCK FROM PORTLAND.
222
00:09:24,263 --> 00:09:24,933
JUST BUY IT.
223
00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:27,297
IT'S $100.
WHO CAN'T AFFORD $100?
224
00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:30,166
WELL, WHERE ARE
YOUR PARENTS?
225
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,836
YOU KNOW WHERE THEY KEEP
THEIR CREDIT CARDS?
226
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:33,905
WELL, CHECK HER PURSE.
227
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:36,843
HEY, DON'T MAKE ME
COME OVER THERE.
228
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:38,839
NO, YOU'RE FAT!
229
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:41,181
NO, YOU'RE FAT!
230
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,947
NO, YOU'RE FAT!
231
00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:44,715
HOW'S IT GOIN'?
232
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:45,724
NO, YOU SHUT UP.
233
00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:47,315
NO, YOU SHUT UP!
234
00:09:47,386 --> 00:09:50,356
NO, YOU SHUT UP!
SHUT UP TIMES A MILLION!
235
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,023
OHH, DAMN IT!
236
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:52,891
INFINITY.
237
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:54,689
SHOULDA
SEEN IT COMING.
238
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:55,530
EVERYTHING OK, DAD?
239
00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:58,204
YEAH, I ALMOST HAD
THE LITTLE BASTARD.
240
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,634
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
FOCUS ON GROWNUPS.
241
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:02,100
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
MIND YOUR BUSINESS.
242
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:04,938
I BEEN FEEDIN' THIS FAMILY
SINCE BEFORE YOU WERE BORN.
243
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:06,874
NOW DON'T TELL ME
HOW TO MAKE A BUCK, SON.
244
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,169
LUNCH TIME!
245
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:14,048
TIBETAN HEALING ROCKS.
HOW MAY I HELP YOU?
246
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:14,883
WELL, I WAS WONDERING,
247
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:17,177
DO YOU GUYS BUY
TIBETAN HEALING ROCKS?
248
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:18,989
ACTUALLY,
WE SELL THEM.
249
00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:20,291
OH, REALLY? HOW MUCH?
250
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,293
OMAR?
251
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,764
HOW DID YOU
KNOW MY NAME?
252
00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:25,092
IT'S ME,
YOUR BEST FRIEND.
253
00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:26,127
QUINCY?
254
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:27,132
NO...
255
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,133
ARMAND?
256
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,104
OMAR...
257
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:31,801
YOUR BEST FRIEND!
258
00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:32,974
QUINCY?
259
00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:35,332
IT'S ME, JOHNNY!
260
00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:36,401
WHO?
261
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,199
OMAR, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?
262
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:42,310
I'M TALKING TO SOME
WHACK JOB NAMED JOHNNY.
263
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,835
UH, HELLO, ROBERT?
264
00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:46,210
IT'S SYLVIA.
265
00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:47,078
OH, YEAH, WELL,
266
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:49,276
I'VE BEEN MEANING
TO CALL YOU, TOO, HON.
267
00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:51,418
HOW'S YOUR MOVIE POSTER
COLLECTION?
268
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:54,354
OH. GOOD.
GREAT, GREAT, GREAT.
269
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,260
WELL, UH, AHEM, I, UM,
270
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,793
I HAVE SOMETHING A LITTLE
DIFFICULT TO TELL YOU.
271
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:02,659
I MEAN,
IT'S A LITTLE AWKWARD.
272
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:04,428
WELL, UM, LET'S SEE...
273
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:09,197
I HAVE WHAT THEY CALL
AN S.T.D.
274
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:10,168
[ROBERT SCREAMS]
275
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,866
ALL RIGHT,
STOP SCREAMING, OK?!
276
00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:13,968
IT WAS IRRESPONSIBLE,
277
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,740
BUT YOU KNEW I PLAYED
THE FIELD WHEN WE GOT INVOLVED!
278
00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:21,779
LISTEN, UH, WHY DON'T WE GET
TOGETHER TO TALK THIS OUT?
279
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,277
I MEAN, FUCK IT,
280
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:27,719
WE'RE BOTH INFECTED
ALREADY, SO WHAT THE HELL?
281
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,785
LET'S SEE, UH, WHO'S NEXT?
282
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:35,827
OH, NO, I DON'T WANNA
TALK TO THIS GUY AGAIN.
283
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,255
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
284
00:11:37,329 --> 00:11:38,799
[RING]
285
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,934
[RASPS]
HELLO?
286
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,940
UH, GLUG GLUG?
IS THAT YOU?
287
00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:47,412
[HYPERVENTILATES]
I'M SO HAPPY YOU CALLED!
288
00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:49,213
GLUG GLUG MISS YOU.
289
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,835
OH, GOD.
290
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:51,980
GLUG GLUG, LISTEN UP,
291
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,814
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
GO TO THE DOCTOR.
292
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,279
[SOBS]
NO DOCTOR!
293
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:58,848
NO DOCTOR!
294
00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:01,948
OH, GOD, WHY DIDN'T
I MAKE HIM WEAR A CONDOM?
295
00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:03,061
ECCH!
296
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:04,462
WELL, I'LL NEVER
GO BAREBACK AGAIN,
297
00:12:04,523 --> 00:12:06,233
I'LL TELL YA THAT ONE.
298
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,759
[GRUNTS]
299
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:11,227
FIRST WE CUT HIM OFF
FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD,
300
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:12,967
THEN HE'LL PLAY BALL.
301
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:14,172
[WHISTLES]
302
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,233
AAH!
303
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:16,471
WHERE'D MY RAMP GO?
304
00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:19,035
LISTEN, IF YOU EVER
WANT TO SEE THAT RAMP AGAIN,
305
00:12:19,105 --> 00:12:20,335
YOU'LL GIVE ME
MY MONEY BACK.
306
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,806
OK, OK, JUST HELP ME UP
AND WE'LL GO TO MY COMPUTER.
307
00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:26,376
I HATE BEING ALL HELPLESS
ON THE FLOOR LIKE THIS.
308
00:12:26,445 --> 00:12:28,405
FINE.
309
00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:32,022
AAH!
310
00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:41,229
YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD!
311
00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:43,963
YOU SHOULD JOIN
MY WHEELCHAIR LEAGUE.
312
00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:46,899
HA HA! THANKS AGAIN, CLAY!
313
00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:46,899
OHH, MY NUTS!
314
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:49,396
I FEEL SO MUCH MORE
INDEPENDENT WITHOUT THAT RAMP.
315
00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:51,768
THIS IS THE HAPPIEST WEEK
OF MY LIFE!
316
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,867
ZIPPIDY DOO-DAH!
317
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,079
SIAMESE TWINS, HUH?
318
00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:58,982
OH, SO THEY'RE JOINED
AT THE NECK?
319
00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:00,054
HMM, THAT'S A TOUGH ONE
320
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:04,022
BECAUSE I'M NOT SURE IF
THE HEALING ROCK WOULD WORK.
321
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:06,423
IT MIGHT MAKE ONE OF THEM
DISAPPEAR.
322
00:13:06,485 --> 00:13:09,815
WELL, DO YOU HAVE
A FAVORITE?
323
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:11,419
JUST TO BE SAFE,
324
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:14,160
YOU BETTER KEEP
THE ROCK AWAY FROM HER.
325
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:16,356
ONLY $100 EACH.
326
00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:17,498
DARN IT.
327
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:20,503
THAT ROCK WOULD'VE HELPED
ONE OF THOSE GIRLS OUT A LOT.
328
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:21,566
OH, WELL...
329
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,239
HELLO, ARE YOU CONSTANTLY
WISHING THAT ROCKS
330
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,205
COULD HEAL YOU
INSTEAD OF DOCTORS?
331
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:30,184
WHAT DOES JOHNNY KNOW
ABOUT SALES?
332
00:13:30,242 --> 00:13:32,482
HE COULDN'T SELL
BANANAS TO A MONKEY.
333
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:33,945
MONKEYS HAVE MONEY?
334
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:35,153
WHERE DO THEY KEEP IT?
335
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:36,224
YOU'RE MISSIN' THE POINT.
336
00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:38,352
JOHNNY'S ON A HUGE
POWER TRIP.
337
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:41,917
SOMEONE'S GOTTA KNOCK HIM OFF
HIS PEDESTAL.
338
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:42,757
HEY, GUYS!
339
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:44,421
SETTLE DOWN.
WE'RE JUST TAKIN' A BREAK,
340
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:48,830
BUT DON'T WORRY, WE'LL BE
HARD AT WORK SOON, BOSS.
341
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:49,934
WELL, GUESS WHAT?
342
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:51,455
I SOLD A ROCK!
343
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:52,930
AND YOU CAME HERE
TO THROW IT
344
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,868
IN YOUR OLD MAN'S FACE, HUH?
345
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:57,474
NO, DAD, I DIDN'T--
346
00:13:58,537 --> 00:13:59,367
OMAR!
347
00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:02,538
YOU WANT SOME MORE,
YOU BIG-HEADED FREAK?!
348
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:05,948
MR. JENKINS, NO!
I'M NOT JOHNNY! I'M OMAR!
349
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:09,351
WELL, GET UP, OMAR.
FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED!
350
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:11,115
STAY DOWN, OMAR!
351
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,053
PUSSY.
352
00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:15,087
OMAR, DO YOU REALLY THINK
I HAVE A BIG HEAD?
353
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:17,864
NO, JUST
A BULBOUS NOSE.
354
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,493
OK, "TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,
355
00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:23,398
"SOMETIMES LOVE HAS
STICKY CONSEQUENCES.
356
00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:27,132
"IF YOUR THING
STARTS TO SPROUT,
357
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,239
"GET IT CHECKED OUT.
358
00:14:29,301 --> 00:14:33,041
LOVE AND KISSES,
SYLVIA JENKINS."
359
00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:36,877
THANKS, RUNNING TREE,
360
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:39,042
AND THERE'S 2 MORE SACKS
ON THE WAY.
361
00:14:39,111 --> 00:14:42,151
AND I'M--I'M REALLY
SORRY, RUNNING TREE.
362
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:46,154
WELL, AT LEAST I KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON NOW.
363
00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:49,424
WE'LL SMOKE HIM OUT.
364
00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:53,058
COME ON OUT NOW, HERB.
YOU LOSE.
365
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,459
HE SHOULD HAVE
COME OUT BY NOW.
366
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,099
YOU'RE RIGHT, ANGUS.
367
00:14:58,163 --> 00:14:59,603
IF WE KILL HIM, WE'RE NEVER
GETTIN' OUT OF JAIL.
368
00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:01,365
MR. STERLY!
369
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,169
Herb: OH, MY GOD.
POISON GAS!
370
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:07,067
[CLAY AND ANGUS COUGH]
371
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:08,169
WHAT ARE YOU...
[COUGHS]
372
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,040
DOIN' OUT HERE?
373
00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:11,638
MY HOUSE WAS TEEMING
WITH GIANT INSECTS.
374
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:12,850
I WENT TO GET SOME
BUG SPRAY,
375
00:15:12,911 --> 00:15:15,511
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS
DID A MUCH MORE THOROUGH JOB.
376
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,221
THANK YOU.
377
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,547
AAH!
378
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:27,094
HA HA HA HA HA!
379
00:15:27,159 --> 00:15:28,059
HA HA HA HA HA!
380
00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:29,557
DAD, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
381
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:32,298
HIS EYE IS TOTALLY CLOSED!
382
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:33,665
I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU DO.
383
00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:36,702
I'M GONNA GO SELL SOME
OF THESE HEALING ROCKS.
384
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:37,569
THAT'S IT!
385
00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:40,166
LET'S USE ONE OF THE ROCKS
TO HEAL OMAR!
386
00:15:40,239 --> 00:15:41,169
TYPICAL.
387
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:42,510
MY BOSS STEALS MY IDEA
388
00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:45,214
AND THEN HE ACTS LIKE
HE CAME UP WITH IT.
389
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:48,177
YOU'RE GONNA BE OK, OMAR.
390
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:49,177
YAY!
391
00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:50,278
HERE WE GO, PETUNIA.
392
00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:53,449
OW! PLEASE,
NO MORE ROCK ON EYE!
393
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,389
NO MORE ROCK ON EYE!
394
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:56,724
WE'RE TRYIN'
TO HELP YOU.
395
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,459
STOP YOUR
BELLYACHIN'!
396
00:15:58,524 --> 00:15:59,464
HANG IN THERE, OMAR.
397
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:03,195
I'M SURE THE HEALING POWERS
OF THE HEALING ROCK
398
00:16:03,262 --> 00:16:05,232
WILL BE KICKING IN SHORTLY.
399
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,997
BUT IT REALLY HURTS.
400
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,067
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
401
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,104
WE MUST NOT BE DOIN'
IT RIGHT.
402
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:12,340
DOES THIS FEEL BETTER?
403
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:14,644
AAH! AAH! AAH!
404
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,477
DAD, MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP.
405
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:20,113
[WHIMPERS]
406
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:20,979
OHH. OH...
407
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:23,016
"USE THE ROCK,
STOP USIN' THE ROCK,"
408
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:26,022
I AM SO SICK OF YOU
BOSSIN' ME AROUND.
409
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:27,415
OW!
410
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,050
OH, MY GOD!
411
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:31,221
THESE ROCKS CAUSE
NOTHING BUT PAIN.
412
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:34,160
I DON'T THINK THESE ARE
HEALING ROCKS AT ALL.
413
00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:35,486
YOU'RE DARN TOOTIN'!
414
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:38,101
SO CLAY HAD US
SELLING PHONY ROCKS
415
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:39,433
FOR $100 APIECE?
416
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:40,768
I KNEW THAT KID
HAD VISION.
417
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,443
I CAN'T BELIEVE
CLAY WOULD DO THAT,
418
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,542
BUT THE PROOF
IS IN THE PUDDING
419
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:48,314
THAT IS NOW OMAR'S
BLUDGEONED FACE.
420
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,044
I CAN'T BE A PART OF THIS,
421
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:53,209
BUT I DON'T WANT
TO LET CLAY DOWN.
422
00:16:53,278 --> 00:16:55,078
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
423
00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:56,047
I KNOW!
424
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:58,375
I'LL ASK MY MAGIC BEANS!
425
00:16:58,450 --> 00:16:59,280
FORGET YOUR BEANS!
426
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,451
I'M IN CHARGE NOW
BECAUSE I'M THE BIGGEST.
427
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,460
I DON'T CARE
IF IT'S A SCAM.
428
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:04,562
WE'RE GONNA SELL
THESE ROCKS
429
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:07,263
AND WE'RE GONNA MAKE
CLAY PROUD AND SUCK UP TO HIM
430
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:08,526
'CAUSE HE'S RICH,
GODDAMN IT,
431
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:11,664
AND THAT STILL MEANS
SOMETHING IN THIS COUNTRY!
432
00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:13,270
NOW, LET'S GO!
433
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:14,732
YES, SIR!
434
00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:16,965
UH, YEAH.
435
00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:18,695
NOW, I NEED YOU TO TELL
ALL THE PASSENGERS
436
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:19,571
OF FLIGHT 692--
437
00:17:19,638 --> 00:17:22,338
IT WAS GOING FROM DENVER
TO VEGAS. YEAH.
438
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:24,538
THEY ALL NEED
TO BE NOTIFIED.
439
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:26,040
H-HANG ON--
440
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:27,681
[SWEET TONE]
OH, HELLO, REVEREND.
441
00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:29,376
YOU GOT MY MESSAGE?
YEAH.
442
00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:32,148
WELL, YOU SHOULD
CLEAN OUT THE CONFESSIONAL
443
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:34,517
JUST TO BE SAFE.
[CHUCKLES]
444
00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:35,416
I GOTTA GO.
445
00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:36,417
HELLO?
446
00:17:36,488 --> 00:17:38,418
I WANT TO SEND
A TELEGRAM.
447
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:41,330
DEAR ADMIRAL HAWK, STOP.
448
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,563
I GAVE YOU VD, STOP.
449
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:47,669
ENJOY THE NORTH
ATLANTIC, STOP.
450
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,244
WELL, ANGUS,
451
00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:51,202
MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR US
TO ADMIT THAT WE'RE BEAT.
452
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:53,770
THAT HERB STERLY
IS ONE TOUGH MOTHER.
453
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:53,770
[GROWLS]
454
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:56,609
I GUESS I'LL HAVE
TO GO TO JAIL.
455
00:17:56,675 --> 00:17:58,275
HUH?
456
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:02,375
I'LL MISS YOU, TOO,
BUT WE'RE FUCKED.
457
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:06,148
THAT HERB GUY
IS SLICKER THAN BOTH OF US.
458
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:09,088
[SNARLING]
459
00:18:12,324 --> 00:18:13,864
OH, HELLO AGAIN,
LITTLE ANIMAL.
460
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,596
WHAT GOOD TIDINGS
DO YOU BRING ME NOW?
461
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,232
[SNARLS]
462
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:19,427
OH, MY!
463
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:20,628
LET'S NOT BE HASTY.
464
00:18:20,699 --> 00:18:21,799
I MAY HAVE
SOMETHING YOU WANT,
465
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:26,207
OR SHOULD I SAY,
SOMETHING YOU NEED.
466
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:27,241
THAT'S RIGHT, ANGUS.
467
00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:28,336
THESE ARE THE BEST DRUGS
IN THE WORLD
468
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:31,237
AND I GET ALL THE GOOD SHIT
FROM GOVERNMENT BUSTS.
469
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:34,180
[GROWLS, CHUCKLES]
470
00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:35,176
NOT SO FAST!
471
00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:36,717
YOU WANT SOME,
ALL YOU GOTTA DO
472
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:40,152
IS PUT YOUR PAWPRINT
ON THIS DOCUMENT.
473
00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:41,649
COME ON,
SELL YOUR FRIEND OUT
474
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,660
AND THESE DRUGS
ARE YOURS.
475
00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:45,762
OH, YOU'RE
PLAYING HARDBALL.
476
00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:47,794
MAYBE THIS WILL HELP
MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
477
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,460
[GROWLS]
478
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:54,629
[SNARLING]
479
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:57,500
Man:
I'M GLAD I CAUGHT YOU, FEDERAL AGENT ANGUS.
480
00:18:57,569 --> 00:18:58,839
THIS IS THE PRESIDENT.
481
00:18:58,904 --> 00:19:00,444
WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM
ON THE MOON
482
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,666
AND YOU ARE THE ONLY
BACKSTABBING SNITCH
483
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:03,911
WHO CAN HANDLE IT.
484
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,420
YOU'RE THE REAL SUPERHERO,
FEDERAL AGENT ANGUS.
485
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:14,393
I'M JUST AN IDIOT
WITH A CAPE.
486
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:17,362
FEDERAL AGENT ANGUS,
487
00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:19,762
YOU SNITCHED ON FLUM,
OUR SUPREME LEADER.
488
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,325
THE BEINGS OF SLURN
HAVE SENT ME TO DESTROY YOU
489
00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:24,604
AND THEN YOUR STUPID
PLANET EARTH.
490
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:25,463
[SNARLING]
491
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,801
IT DOES NOT MATTER
THAT FLUM WAS GUILTY--
492
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:30,736
YOU STILL SOLD HIM OUT,
AND THAT'S NOT COOL.
493
00:19:30,802 --> 00:19:34,212
NOW I WILL CRUSH YOU
WITH THIS GIANT ROCK.
494
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:37,183
AAAH!
MY ZURKZEES!
495
00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:40,612
FEDERAL AGENT ANGUS,
I'D ASK YOU TO SPARE MY LIFE,
496
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,609
BUT EVERYONE KNOWS YOU
SENT YOUR BEST FRIEND
497
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:44,381
CLAY ZEEMAN TO JAIL.
498
00:19:44,449 --> 00:19:48,419
WE'RE BARELY ACQUAINTANCES,
BUT YOU LOVED CLAY ZEEMAN.
499
00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:51,357
[CHOKED UP SNARLS]
500
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:02,625
[SNARLING]
501
00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:08,707
SO, DO WE
HAVE A DEAL?
502
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:11,244
[SNARLING]
503
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:21,345
NICE.
504
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,460
WATCH HOW
A PROFESSIONAL SALESMAN
505
00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:24,192
HANDLES A TOUGH SELL.
506
00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:26,426
THIS IS WORSE
THAN A TOUGH SELL,
507
00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:27,561
IT'S JUST WRONG!
508
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:28,686
WE'RE LYING TO PEOPLE.
509
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,860
THERE ARE 2 VERY
IMPORTANT LESSONS HERE.
510
00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:34,529
[CLEARS THROAT]
ONE, I'M THE FUCKING BOSS NOW.
511
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,870
AND TWO, IF YOU'RE
DOING A SCAM,
512
00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:38,835
IT'S NOT WRONG
IF YOU FIND SOMEONE
513
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,414
WHO DESERVES
TO BE TAKEN.
514
00:20:40,472 --> 00:20:41,972
NOW, WATCH AND LEARN.
515
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,840
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
516
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,379
Y'ELLO?
517
00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:46,714
[DEEPENS VOICE]
AHEM, HELLO.
518
00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:48,348
MY NAME IS
BILL PETERSON.
519
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,323
SHUT UP.
WHERE DID YOU SEE THE AD?
520
00:20:50,382 --> 00:20:54,552
WAS IT IN THE BILLBOARD,
THE RADIO ADS, OR WORD OF MOUTH?
521
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:55,620
UM, UH...
522
00:20:55,687 --> 00:20:57,417
UH, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
523
00:20:57,489 --> 00:20:58,789
WELL, HERE GOES--
524
00:20:58,857 --> 00:21:02,427
YOU GOT VD, BUB.
FROM ME.
525
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:05,028
ARE YOU THE GUY
FROM THE CAR WASH?
526
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,627
WELL, YES, I WAS,
527
00:21:06,698 --> 00:21:07,828
AND I THINK
I COULD HELP YOU
528
00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:08,869
WITH YOUR LITTLE
PROBLEM.
529
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,044
IT'S ALREADY
HELPING ME WITH MINE.
530
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,003
YEAH, RIGHT.
531
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,003
I WAS SKEPTICAL
532
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:12,770
YEAH, RIGHT.
533
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:12,770
I WAS SKEPTICAL
534
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:14,368
JUST LIKE YOU,
UNTIL I BOUGHT
535
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:16,509
SOME ANCIENT TIBETAN
HEALING ROCKS.
536
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:18,435
THEY CLEANED ME
RIGHT UP.
537
00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:19,380
YOU DON'T SAY.
538
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:20,814
YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,
539
00:21:20,879 --> 00:21:23,549
BUT I WORRY ABOUT
ALL THE MILLIONS OF DISEASES
540
00:21:23,615 --> 00:21:26,275
THAT ARE OUT THERE
JUST WAITING TO ATTACK ME,
541
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:27,891
ESPECIALLY
THE OLDER I GET.
542
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:32,393
I KNOW! AND THEY COME UP
WITH NEW DISEASES EVERY DAY!
543
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:33,957
EVERY DAY.
544
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:34,856
I WAS REAL WORRIED,
545
00:21:34,926 --> 00:21:37,656
BUT MY HEALING ROCKS
REALLY DID THE TRICK.
546
00:21:37,729 --> 00:21:38,499
I'M DISEASE-FREE!
547
00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:40,773
I HAVE TO GET MY HANDS
ON THOSE ROCKS!
548
00:21:40,832 --> 00:21:43,602
AND YOU CAN, FOR THE
BARGAIN-BASEMENT PRICE
549
00:21:43,669 --> 00:21:44,539
OF $100 A ROCK.
550
00:21:44,603 --> 00:21:47,043
WELL, YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE
ON YOUR HEALTH!
551
00:21:47,105 --> 00:21:48,905
I'LL TAKE 'EM!
552
00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:50,241
THANK YOU, MAMA--
553
00:21:50,308 --> 00:21:52,838
OOPS! I MEAN,
MRS. JENKINS.
554
00:21:52,911 --> 00:21:54,811
[GRUNTING]
555
00:21:56,081 --> 00:21:57,481
HEY, KNOCK IT OFF,
YOU TWO.
556
00:21:57,549 --> 00:22:01,349
HERB, LOOK WHAT'S
COMING TO VIDEO THIS CHRISTMAS.
557
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:04,020
AND I GET ALL THE GOOD SHIT
FROM GOVERNMENT BUSTS.
558
00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:06,559
AND I GET ALL THE GOOD SHIT
FROM GOVERNMENT BUSTS.
559
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:09,825
AND I GET ALL THE GOOD SHIT
FROM GOVERNMENT BUSTS.
560
00:22:09,895 --> 00:22:12,825
EAT BOUGHS OF HOLLY,
YOU BASTARDS!
561
00:22:13,598 --> 00:22:14,528
NICE.
562
00:22:14,599 --> 00:22:16,399
HERE'S TO
A CRACK SALESMAN
563
00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:18,598
AND HIS UNDERLINGS.
564
00:22:18,937 --> 00:22:20,737
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
STANDING AROUND FOR?
565
00:22:20,806 --> 00:22:22,836
THESE ROCKS AREN'T GONNA
DELIVER THEMSELVES.
566
00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:26,748
NOW LOAD 'EM UP
WHILE I DO SOME PAPERWORK.
567
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,120
I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THIS, OMAR.
568
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,882
THIS SEEMS REALLY DISHONEST.
569
00:22:31,950 --> 00:22:34,420
THE BAG IS WORTH MORE
THAN THE ROCKS.
570
00:22:34,486 --> 00:22:36,856
JOHNNY, DIDN'T YOU LEARN
ANYTHING TODAY?
571
00:22:36,922 --> 00:22:38,722
YOUR DAD
IS THE BOSS.
572
00:22:38,790 --> 00:22:40,690
SO YOU'RE OK
WITH ALL THIS?
573
00:22:40,759 --> 00:22:41,789
SURE! WITH THESE ROCKS
574
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:43,360
YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S
NOT GONNA WORRY
575
00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:44,858
ABOUT BEING SICK
ALL THE TIME.
576
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:47,770
ALL HYPOCHONDRIACS
COULD USE A ROCK LIKE THIS.
577
00:22:47,833 --> 00:22:49,803
AND DIDN'T CLAY SAY
578
00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:52,098
YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE
ON PEACE OF MIND?
579
00:22:52,170 --> 00:22:53,910
Both: 'CAUSE IT'S INVISIBLE!
580
00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:55,942
I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT
THAT WAY, OMAR.
581
00:22:56,007 --> 00:23:00,547
I GUESS MY DAD'S HEART
REALLY IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
582
00:23:01,179 --> 00:23:01,979
OWW!
583
00:23:01,179 --> 00:23:01,979
OWW!
584
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,477
YOU GUYS TRYING TO STEAL
MY MAGIC ROCKS?
585
00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:05,649
HELLO,
586
00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:07,987
IS THIS THE COUNTRY
OF CHINA? UH-HUH.
587
00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:09,863
WELL, I HAVE SOME
BAD NEWS.
588
00:23:09,921 --> 00:23:12,061
HANG ON,
I HAVE ANOTHER CALL.
589
00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:13,694
UH, YES, DOCTOR?
590
00:23:13,759 --> 00:23:17,399
WHAT? WRONG SCHMEAR?
591
00:23:17,462 --> 00:23:19,602
WAIT A MINUTE,
SO YOU'RE TELLING ME
592
00:23:19,664 --> 00:23:21,474
I'M--I'M TOTALLY CLEAN?
593
00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:24,073
[GASPS]
OH, WHAT A RELIEF.
594
00:23:24,136 --> 00:23:25,636
GOD, YOU'RE
A SHITTY DOCTOR,
595
00:23:25,704 --> 00:23:28,744
AND I'M GLAD I SCHTUPPED
YOUR HUSBAND.
596
00:23:30,876 --> 00:23:32,406
YAHOO!
597
00:23:32,477 --> 00:23:34,847
[SIGHS]
THANK GOD I'M OK.
598
00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:37,053
OH, IT'S BEEN
A STRESSFUL DAY.
599
00:23:37,115 --> 00:23:39,615
I COULD REALLY USE
A GOOD POUNDING.
600
00:23:39,684 --> 00:23:40,924
Johnny: HI, GRANDMA.
WE'RE HOME!
601
00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:44,586
YEAH, WE RAN INTO A DELIVERY
MONK ON THE FRONT LAWN
602
00:23:44,656 --> 00:23:46,586
WITH THIS SPECIAL DELIVERY
FOR YOU.
603
00:23:46,658 --> 00:23:49,998
MAMA, DID YOU
BUY SOMETHING TODAY?
604
00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:52,801
YEAH, THIS, UH,
SHADY CAR WASH GUY
605
00:23:52,864 --> 00:23:56,204
WANTED TO SELL ME SOME HEALING
ROCKS OVER THE PHONE,
606
00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:58,538
SO I GAVE HIM YOUR
CREDIT CARD NUMBER.
607
00:23:58,603 --> 00:23:59,973
WHY'D YOU USE
MY CREDIT CARD?
608
00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:02,808
I'M NOT GIVING OUT
MY FINANCIAL INFORMATION
609
00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:05,944
TO SOME JACKASS
I HAD SEX WITH ONCE
610
00:24:06,011 --> 00:24:06,981
AND I DON'T EVEN
REMEMBER.
611
00:24:07,045 --> 00:24:09,045
WHERE DO YOU WANT
YOUR ROCKS, BOSS?
612
00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:10,654
SHOVE 'EM UP YOUR ASS.
613
00:24:10,715 --> 00:24:11,915
I'M NOT
DOING THAT.
614
00:24:11,983 --> 00:24:14,453
LET'S GO PUT THEM OUT FRONT
WITH THE OTHER ROCKS.
615
00:24:14,519 --> 00:24:16,489
THEY'D LOOK PRETTY
AROUND THE TREE.
616
00:24:16,555 --> 00:24:18,485
THEY SURE WOULD,
JOHNNY.
617
00:24:18,557 --> 00:24:20,987
THEY SURE WOULD.
618
00:24:21,059 --> 00:24:23,599
WELL, ANGUS,
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED TODAY?
619
00:24:23,662 --> 00:24:24,732
FOR ONE THING,
620
00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:26,226
WE LEARNED THAT A GUY
IN A WHEELCHAIR
621
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:29,628
CAN BE AS BIG A PRICK
AS ANYBODY ELSE.
622
00:24:29,701 --> 00:24:30,441
ANOTHER VALUABLE LESSON
623
00:24:30,502 --> 00:24:32,042
WE CAN TAKE AWAY
FROM THIS EXPERIENCE
624
00:24:32,103 --> 00:24:34,043
IS THAT BEING DECKED
WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY
625
00:24:34,105 --> 00:24:36,505
ISN'T AS FESTIVE
AS IT SOUNDS.
626
00:24:36,575 --> 00:24:37,835
UH-HUH.
627
00:24:37,909 --> 00:24:39,479
[GARBLES]
628
00:24:39,544 --> 00:24:42,114
AND LASTLY, AND MAYBE
MOST IMPORTANTLY,
629
00:24:42,180 --> 00:24:44,250
SOMETIMES YOU'VE GOT
TO GET OFF THE COUCH
630
00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:46,246
SO YOU CAN STAY
ON THE COUCH.
631
00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:48,118
THAT'S PRETTY
FUCKING DEEP.
632
00:24:48,186 --> 00:24:49,086
HMM...
633
00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:49,924
THANK GOD
I'M RICH AGAIN.
634
00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:51,558
LET'S GO GET SOME
HOOKERS AND COCAINE.
635
00:24:51,623 --> 00:24:55,733
I PUT A MAGIC BEAN UNDER
EACH ROCK FOR GOOD LUCK.
636
00:24:55,794 --> 00:24:57,134
WHAT DO YOU THINK
WILL HAPPEN?
637
00:24:57,195 --> 00:24:58,255
IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN,
638
00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:01,970
I THINK LITTLE FAIRIES
WILL HATCH OUT OF EVERY BEAN.
639
00:25:02,033 --> 00:25:04,843
DON'T QUOTE ME ON THAT,
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE.
640
00:25:04,903 --> 00:25:08,543
HEY, ONE OF THOSE ROCKS
IS MOVING!
641
00:25:09,241 --> 00:25:12,211
IT'S THE FAIRY!
642
00:25:13,945 --> 00:25:16,145
AAAH! AAAAH!
643
00:25:16,214 --> 00:25:17,154
OH, MY GOSH.
644
00:25:17,215 --> 00:25:19,015
I FORGOT THAT
I SOLD THAT ROCK
645
00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:23,294
AND MAILED IT TO SOME
POOR UNFORTUNATE SOUL.
646
00:25:26,224 --> 00:25:29,294
YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE,
GLUGGIE.
647
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:33,161
NO ONE HITS MY SPOTS
LIKE YOU DO. MMM.
648
00:25:33,231 --> 00:25:35,601
[SLURPING AND SLOBBERING]
649
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:38,997
Man: DELIVERY
FOR MR. GLUG GLUG.
650
00:25:39,471 --> 00:25:41,871
[HORRIFIC SCREAM]
651
00:25:41,940 --> 00:25:44,710
[GLUG GLUG GROWLING]
652
00:25:44,776 --> 00:25:48,946
IT'S ONE OF THOSE
TIBETAN HEALING ROCKS.
653
00:25:49,014 --> 00:25:50,984
[GROWLING AND SLURPING]
654
00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:53,249
[BRITISH ACCENT]
WHY, YES, SYLVIA, I BELIEVE IT IS.
655
00:25:53,318 --> 00:25:55,988
NOW, HOW ABOUT ANOTHER GAME
OF HIDE AND SEEK
656
00:25:56,054 --> 00:25:58,864
WITH THE BALD
ARCHBISHOP?
657
00:25:58,914 --> 00:26:03,464
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