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1
00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:03,335
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:23,755
(BAND PLAYING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
3
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:26,491
(SHOUTING) If I was only
gonna be alive for one minute,
4
00:00:27,627 --> 00:00:31,063
I'd spend it
looking in your eyes!
5
00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:33,332
(SHOUTING) And if you
were only gonna be alive
6
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,267
for one minute,
7
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:39,104
I'd tell you to stop looking
and start kissing!
8
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,041
Who's goin' down?
9
00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:44,309
ALL: The Amish!
10
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,644
Who are we gonna beat?
11
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,245
The Amish!
12
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:49,147
And who's gonna lead us to victory?
13
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,948
ALL: Jerry Mungo!
14
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,285
(CHEERING)
15
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:56,154
ALL: Go, Pengy!
Go, Pengy!
Go, Pengy!
16
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,622
(CHEERING)
17
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:05,030
It is so noisy in there.
Can we sit with you?
18
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:06,899
Yeah, sure.
As long as you
guys don't...
19
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:09,067
That.
20
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:12,604
Pennbrook! Pennbrook!
Yay, Pennbrook!
21
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,172
(CHEERING)
22
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:18,243
Eric!
23
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,678
What, oh!
24
00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,682
See you,
Panty... Patty!
25
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,219
You would rather
look up her skirt
26
00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,088
than beat the Amish,
wouldn't you?
27
00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:31,423
I got nothin'
against the Amish.
28
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:34,493
They're a decent,
hard-working, agrarian people.
29
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:37,062
Who kicked our butts
47 years in a row!
30
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:39,397
Oh, so they're on
a little streak!
31
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,266
What are the chances
they're gonna do that again?
32
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:44,269
Vegas has them
a 14-point favorite.
33
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:47,306
You, Mr. Clean-Cut,
a gambling man?
34
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:48,941
Get off my
back. Jeez!
35
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,643
Jack, I'm only gonna
ask you this one time.
36
00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:53,545
Do you have a serious problem
that needs my help?
37
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:55,414
No.
Okay.
38
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,550
(CLEARS THROAT)
39
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,953
Hey, look,
the penguin's Amish!
(LAUGHS)
40
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:03,088
Hey!
41
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,259
Come back here!
42
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,430
(EXCLAIMING)
43
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,168
Oh!
44
00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:18,604
Look how the formerly
separated now behave.
45
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,706
Okay? I wanna be
like them.
46
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,040
What? You want to
make out until
47
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:23,341
we realize we hate
each other someday?
48
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:26,311
Topanga, we hate
each other now!
49
00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:28,880
Okay? So your
little plan doesn't
work, does it?
50
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:29,948
Kiss me with tongue!
51
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,586
She thinks that's
gonna stop me.
52
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,221
That's not gonna
stop me.
53
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:37,723
She thinks that's gonna...
54
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,257
How you doing?
55
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:40,826
That's not gonna
stop me.
56
00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:44,963
Cory, are you okay?
57
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:47,031
I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to do that.
58
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,402
That's it, Topanga.
I've had it with you.
59
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:52,103
(PANTING) Okay.
60
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,942
Turns out the penguin
was an Amish infiltrator.
61
00:02:58,012 --> 00:02:59,711
He had our team's playbook
in his britches.
62
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:03,781
How did I get it out?
Don't really want
to talk about it.
63
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,618
The point is,
we're gonna need
a new mascot.
64
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,587
I'll do it.
65
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:10,922
CORY: I'll be the penguin.
66
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,657
Cory, you can't be the
penguin. You'll hurt yourself.
67
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:16,595
I couldn't be hurt any more
than you've hurt me already.
68
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:17,696
How you doin'?
69
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:20,365
Now, you broke my heart.
70
00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:22,166
I gave you every opportunity,
71
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:24,669
but now,
I have to keep
my dignity.
72
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:26,871
How do I look?
73
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:27,972
You the bird.
74
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,241
Oh! Do you hear
that, Topanga?
75
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:33,378
I the bird!
76
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,581
And this bird is moving on.
77
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,351
This bird is flying solo.
78
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:45,957
Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together
79
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,926
for the pride of Pennbrook,
80
00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:49,728
Pengy, the
Pennbrook penguin!
81
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,295
(CHEERING)
82
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,075
I'm gonna be the penguin.
83
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,243
What's this I hear about
84
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:07,579
Jerry Mungo
not playing Saturday?
85
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:11,149
I mean, if Jerry Mungo doesn't
play, you guys have no chance.
86
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,217
I'm gonna be the penguin!
87
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:15,786
Nah, there's just a
rumor he might not be
eligible academically.
88
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,322
I hear he's dumber
than you.
89
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:19,558
Nah.
90
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:22,294
Well, Jerry Mungo
better be playing Saturday.
91
00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:24,997
I'm gonna be the penguin!
92
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:28,666
I'm tired of losing money
betting against the Amish.
93
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:31,035
Alan, I really don't like
it that you're gambling.
94
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,236
That's why I do it.
95
00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:34,372
Topanga doesn't think
I can be the penguin.
96
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,607
She doesn't know me.
97
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:38,276
Fine, we're not
getting married. Fine!
98
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,845
I hope none of you
start gambling.
99
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:42,647
Why? Because it could
ruin your life,
100
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,182
blow every relationship
you ever had,
101
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:45,316
make mom and
stepdad almost
102
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:48,186
have to sell the
house in the Hamptons?
103
00:04:48,254 --> 00:04:50,622
Would it kill you
to use real potatoes?
104
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:52,257
I heard you have a problem.
105
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,660
What?
106
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:58,162
No, Topanga just doesn't
believe in love anymore.
107
00:04:58,231 --> 00:04:59,464
Well, maybe you should
face reality,
108
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:01,500
maybe it's time for you
to move on with your life.
109
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:03,435
I am.
110
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,103
I'm the penguin.
111
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,077
Study, Mr. Mungo.
112
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,713
Star running back or no,
113
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:17,181
you fail my test,
you don't play.
114
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,017
You know, when this college
paid me to come here,
115
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,319
they didn't say nothin'
about no tests.
116
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,156
Did they say anything
about double negatives?
117
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,559
Why are you so upset?
118
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,062
Open a book.
119
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,631
How you doin'?
120
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,768
Hey, Rach,
great speech yesterday!
121
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:37,835
You really got
everybody fired up.
122
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:39,637
You know, rah!
123
00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:42,106
Well, thanks, but it
wasn't for the crowd.
It was for Jerry.
124
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,242
I was trying to light a fire
under his lazy butt.
125
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,979
You know what,
if he doesn't pass
Feeny's exam,
126
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,881
we don't have
a chance at winning
the football game.
127
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,351
Yeah, well, you know,
it's a sporting event,
128
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:54,619
oddly shaped ball,
129
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,289
inside information,
inside information.
130
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,958
Will you excuse me
for a second, please?
131
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:01,760
Dude...
132
00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:04,229
You're, like, shaking.
133
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:06,164
There's no such thing
as a sure thing.
134
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,600
That's the first step
to accepting you
have a problem.
135
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,569
Hello, my name is Jack.
136
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,804
(PANTING)
137
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,038
Hello.
138
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,274
Okay, Jerry.
139
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,676
Please get this one
for the team, okay?
140
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,746
JERRY: All right,
ask me anything.
141
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,915
What African nation
abolished apartheid in 1986?
142
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:25,884
Florida.
143
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,888
That's one right.
144
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:32,991
How come you keep asking me
all these history questions?
145
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,860
Because it's your major,
146
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,462
you dumb, dumb,
dumbest person alive!
147
00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:42,467
No way this gavoonz
passes Mr. Feeny's test.
148
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:45,236
Yeah, that's great. Without
him, I don't think we're
gonna have a prayer to...
149
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:47,472
Now you're gone.
Where did you go?
150
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,307
Danny, Jack Hunter!
151
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:51,543
We want to place a little
bet on the Pennbrook game.
152
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,210
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12-step program.
153
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,313
I'm on the 13th step.
Relapse.
154
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,917
Just put me down
for a dime on the Amish.
155
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,585
Excuse me.
Hello, bookie?
156
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,053
Hey, you don't...
Excuse me.
157
00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:03,321
You don't know what
you're doing.
Excuse me.
158
00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:04,856
Hello, bookie?
Hello, bookie.
159
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,124
Hi, my name is Eric.
160
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:09,894
I would also like to place
a dime on the Amish.
161
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,429
Thank you very much.
162
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:13,264
Bam!
163
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:16,768
I don't know what I'm doing?
I don't know what I'm doing?
164
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,369
He just put me down
for a dime, baby.
165
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,604
I'm down for a dime!
166
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,507
Do you know how
much a dime is?
167
00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:23,741
I know the lingo.
168
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,410
A dime's $14.50.
169
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,414
A dime is $1,000.
170
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,015
Wow!
171
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:33,251
(LAUGHS)
172
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,586
(GASPS)
173
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:39,157
So, uh, you really
think I was good?
174
00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:41,493
You were the
best penguin ever.
175
00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:43,395
But what about
when I fell into the band
176
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,729
and knocked over
the tubas?
177
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,364
That was the best!
178
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:49,100
Really? She thinks
I'm a good penguin!
179
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,235
Topanga would have thought
180
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,837
it was wrong for me
to fall into the tubas.
181
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,105
I'm busy here.
182
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,474
Sorry. You're
doing a great job.
183
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:03,548
Maybe after the big
game, you'll want to
see my dorm room.
184
00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:06,050
Don't all dorm rooms
look the same?
185
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:11,155
Oh! (LAUGHING)
186
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:13,758
Well, we... We really
don't know each other.
187
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,327
That's why you're
coming to my room.
188
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:28,240
Cory can do
whatever he wants.
189
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:29,406
He is.
190
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:32,444
If she's what he wants,
then let him have her.
191
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:35,313
You're what he wants,
and he's what you want.
192
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:37,615
Shawn, give
me five minutes,
193
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,717
and I swear
I'll make it up to you.
194
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:42,487
Okay. I haven't had
water for four days.
195
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,526
Topanga, everybody you know
has tried to help you.
196
00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:49,995
Cory went to Pittsburgh,
197
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,596
he tried to get your
parents back together.
198
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:55,500
What do you want from him?
Are you happy like this?
199
00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:58,469
I've never been
so unhappy in my life.
200
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,304
I thought
I was protecting Shawn
201
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:03,474
by pushing him
away, but I was only
hurting us both.
202
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,009
I'm back with him now,
203
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,011
and I'm happier than ever.
204
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,180
Except I could use
some ChapStick.
205
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,216
Here.
206
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,084
I have no use for it.
207
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:26,664
(HONKING)
208
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,770
Oh, ciao, bella.
209
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,706
(ITALIAN ACCENT)
I ride the bike,
210
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:36,774
I honk the horn.
211
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,109
(HONKS)
212
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,645
Eric...
213
00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:43,814
This is a $5,000 bike.
214
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,816
We're only gonna win $1,000.
215
00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:48,953
Oh, no, that's not right,
my little Jacquelina.
216
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,355
Eric...
217
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,824
No, I'm sorry.
218
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,358
My English is no so good.
219
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,494
I, how you say?
220
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,797
(NORMAL VOICE)
I called Danny.
221
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:02,400
I placed a new bet. I bet
four more dimes. We're down
for five large.
222
00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:04,035
You called Danny?
223
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,804
Yeah. What's the big
deal? I mean, you said
it was a sure thing.
224
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:09,974
There's no such thing
as a sure thing! I learned
that in rehab.
225
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:12,543
(ITALIAN ACCENT) Then why
I got the expensive bike?
226
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:16,080
And the $200 panties with
the cushions in the buttocks?
Feels nice!
227
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,584
All right, all right,
all right.
228
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,686
You know what, it's
probably gonna be okay
229
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,187
as long as
Jerry doesn't play.
230
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:24,956
(NORMAL VOICE)
He's not gonna play.
231
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,558
Well, there is a way
he could play.
There's no way.
232
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,125
The only way he could...
There's no only way...
233
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,428
There is! What if
Feeny goes soft
and lets him play?
234
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:33,030
Oh, come on, Jack.
It's never gonna happen!
235
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,567
I've known Feeny for,
it's gotta be...
236
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,469
57 years now.
237
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,504
He's not gonna let him play.
238
00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:41,206
What if he does?
239
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,442
Then we lose...
240
00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:46,711
We can't pay the bookie.
241
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,848
(VOICE BREAKING)
And he'll understand that.
242
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,116
Yeah, he'll understand that.
243
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:52,917
He'll understand that
244
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,385
while he's looking
at our thumbs in a jar.
245
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,521
He has a thumb jar?
246
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,357
That seems odd.
247
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:03,961
(HONKING)
248
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:08,466
Wow, the "Tour de Idiot."
249
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:09,968
(ITALIAN ACCENT)
Hi. I'm from Italy...
250
00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:11,502
Shut up.
251
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,504
All right. Jerry Mungo.
I think you should pass him
and let him play
252
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:15,006
no matter how stupid he is.
253
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,774
Eric, I'm going to make
this so simple
254
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,943
that even you
can understand it.
255
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,179
You can try.
256
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,648
Because Jerry Mungo
can score touchdowns,
257
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:27,718
he's been given a free ride
through this university.
258
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,386
I detest that.
259
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:31,021
All right, so let me try to
get this perfectly straight.
260
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:33,057
You're saying that if
Jerry Mungo fails his test,
261
00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:34,759
there's absolutely no way
you're gonna let him play.
262
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:36,428
None whatsoever.
263
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:38,696
(SNICKERING)
264
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,698
What's passing?
265
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,000
Oh, that's right,
you wouldn't know.
266
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,069
65.
267
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,137
What if he gets a 64?
268
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,305
Fails.
269
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,507
What if he gets an 80?
Passes.
270
00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:50,608
42?
271
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:52,544
No good.
272
00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:54,479
20?
273
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,248
Are you kidding me?
274
00:11:57,316 --> 00:11:58,950
Oh, sorry, sorry.
275
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,220
What if he gets a 20?
276
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,255
Focus, Mr. Matthews.
277
00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:06,257
Ok, right. So let me
try to understand this.
278
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:09,694
You care more about
morals and ethics than
you do about football?
279
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:10,762
That's absolutely right.
280
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:11,896
Fine.
Fine.
281
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,397
Fine... Fine.
Fine... Fine.
282
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:16,201
I don't want to
play anymore!
Fine! I win.
283
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:21,472
(GIGGLING)
284
00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:27,778
(STILL GIGGLING)
285
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:28,913
Done?
286
00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:31,015
Oh, we're done.
It's in the bag, baby.
287
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:33,150
There's no way
Feeny's gonna let him play.
288
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,119
I did it!
I outsmarted Feeny!
It feels so good!
289
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,554
Good for you. Let's go.
290
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:38,155
No, one more.
I'm gonna do one more.
291
00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:39,323
No. No, no, no.
292
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,091
I'm gonna do one more.
No, Eric.
293
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,393
Oh, boy.
294
00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:44,662
(HONKING)
295
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,634
Just remember
something, Feeny.
296
00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:51,502
When Jerry Mungo
fails his test
297
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:54,972
and that Amish horse-drawn
buggy charges across
our football field in victory,
298
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,742
crushing the hearts
of every student here
at this university,
299
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,944
you hold your head
up high, Feeny,
300
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,913
'cause you held
to your ethics, Feeny.
301
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:03,981
Good for you.
302
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,919
(GIGGLING)
303
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:24,335
Jed, there's absolutely no
reason to tell her this now.
304
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:25,970
She's gonna find
out eventually.
305
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,305
It's better for her
to find out from me.
306
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:32,110
This is not why we're
here. This is about
Cory and Topanga,
307
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,511
not about Topanga and you.
308
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:36,347
Hey, the only reason
there's trouble between
Topanga and Cory
309
00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:37,515
is because she's trying
to save Cory
310
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:39,017
from what happened to us.
311
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:40,251
I want to help her.
312
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,153
She's not ready for this.
313
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:43,721
You tell her you left me
for someone else,
314
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,224
she'll hate you.
No, she won't.
315
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:48,759
I'm her father.
She loves me.
316
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,261
(BUZZING)
317
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,029
Get out.
Honey...
318
00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:53,964
Get out.
Topanga...
319
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,567
(SOBBING) Go!
320
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,738
JEDEDIAH: I love you, sweetie.
321
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,341
I'm sorry.
322
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,513
Mom, I'm so sorry.
323
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:13,384
Did you know?
324
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:14,985
Yeah, honey, I knew.
325
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:17,355
He was just so happy
all the time.
326
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:18,823
Why didn't you tell me?
327
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:20,258
Because that's
not what's important.
328
00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:23,227
I don't like him anymore.
Neither do I.
329
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,630
Except I do,
and so do you.
330
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,965
He's your father, honey.
I hate him.
331
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,001
No, you don't.
332
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:32,336
You could never hate him.
333
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,404
I would never want you to.
334
00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:37,441
How can you be so rational
about all this?
335
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,877
Because after you cut
his head out of all our photos
336
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:41,645
and smash everything he owns
337
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,382
and cry hysterically
for three months,
338
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,618
you eventually get
to rational.
339
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,519
Well, I'm not rational.
340
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,554
That's right.
You're not.
341
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:52,223
What?
342
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:54,359
Honey, whatever happens
between your father and me
343
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:57,194
shouldn't affect what happens
between you and Cory.
344
00:14:58,164 --> 00:14:59,964
You're unbelievable.
345
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,699
All of this
is happening to you,
346
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:04,168
and all you can
think about is me.
347
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,805
Well, I may not be
a wife anymore,
348
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,941
but I'm your mother.
349
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:11,976
I don't ever want
350
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:13,678
Cory and I to hurt each
other like you and Dad.
351
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,546
The hell with me and Dad!
352
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,247
This is isn't about
us anymore.
353
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:20,651
This is about you and Cory.
And what you and Cory have,
354
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,821
it's rare and real
and good and true.
355
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,189
Why would you want
to throw that away?
356
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,091
Because I'm scared.
Why?
357
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,826
Because of you!
You scare me!
358
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,028
I thought you two
were happy.
359
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,964
Honey, we were.
360
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,532
And now we're not,
but listen to me.
361
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,101
I would never trade
what I had with your father
362
00:15:37,169 --> 00:15:39,537
even if I knew it wasn't
gonna last forever.
363
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:41,939
You wouldn't?
364
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,173
Never.
365
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:52,182
Are you gonna give up Cory
because you're afraid
366
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,351
of what might happen
in the future?
367
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:56,721
Or are you gonna have
the courage to marry him
368
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,255
and find out?
369
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,993
(BAND PLAYING FIGHT MUSIC)
370
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:03,828
(CHEERING)
371
00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:11,502
Remember...
My room after the big game.
372
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,943
So, Jack. It's getting
a little late.
373
00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:20,111
Don't you think
Feeny should have announced
374
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,845
that he's not playing by now?
375
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:24,315
Here comes
Mr. Party Pooper now.
376
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:27,385
Everybody, quiet!
Could we have
some quiet, please?
377
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:29,220
I believe Mr. Feeny
is about to announce
378
00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:31,255
some, well, bad news.
379
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,258
As some of you are aware,
there have been rumors
380
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,193
regarding whether or
not our star player
381
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:38,195
would actually be
playing today.
382
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:41,032
And I'm afraid
I have some bad news.
383
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,801
Aw, bad news. Yes!
384
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:45,936
Bad news...
385
00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,038
For the Amish!
386
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,673
I give you
our starting tailback,
387
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,108
Jerry Mungo!
388
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,677
(CHEERING)
389
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,982
Jerry's playing!
390
00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,250
Jerry's playing!
391
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:00,718
Jerry's playing!
Jerry's playing!
392
00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:01,786
ALL: Mungo! Mungo! Mungo!
393
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,322
Mr. Feeny,
how could he pass?
394
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:07,124
He's dumber than me!
How could he pass?
395
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,859
Mr. Feeny, what happened?
396
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,561
He happened.
397
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:14,098
That last thing you said to me
in my office made me think.
398
00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:17,201
You had to go
back in there!
Don't hate me.
399
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:20,304
Was I so focused
on academia
400
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:22,707
that I forgot
about school spirit?
401
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:23,808
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
402
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:24,909
Yes!
403
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,244
So I took on
the ultimate challenge.
404
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:30,648
Could I take somebody
actually dumber than you,
405
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,283
and in only 24 hours,
406
00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:35,019
raise him to his highest
possible level?
407
00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:36,654
And you did?
408
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,523
65, baby.
409
00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:41,992
(GASPING AND MUTTERING)
410
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,194
Come on, boys.
411
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,396
Let's go kick
some Amish butt, huh?
412
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,999
You killed us, genius.
413
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,201
No, no, Jack...
414
00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:52,203
Jack, Jack, Jack,
no, no, no, no...
415
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:55,405
Listen to me. Bookies
take so many bets
416
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:57,441
they're probably not even
thinking about ours.
417
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,643
Yeah. You're
probably right.
418
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,645
I'm not right, like,
at all, am I?
419
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,113
No, no.
No, I'm not.
420
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,583
Hello, two very large men!
421
00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:07,485
I don't believe
we've had the pleasure.
422
00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:10,153
Danny sent us.
See, the bookies had
a little convention,
423
00:18:10,222 --> 00:18:12,556
and you two were voted
most likely to lose
424
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,225
and run like the wind.
425
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:15,993
See that, Jack?
They're not here to hurt us.
426
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,794
They want to give
us a plaque!
427
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:20,263
Run!
428
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:34,011
Don't say anything.
429
00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:35,546
Just hold me.
430
00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:44,421
Hey!
431
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:52,429
Why aren't you the penguin?
432
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:54,965
I fell on the tubas.
433
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,668
I tore cartilage
doing the igloo dance.
434
00:18:57,736 --> 00:18:58,903
You were right,
Topanga. I...
435
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:02,039
I made a terrible penguin.
436
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:04,474
I mean, nobody knows me
better than you, though.
437
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:07,078
Nobody knows me
better than you.
438
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,779
But it doesn't matter, right?
439
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,280
You mean everything to me.
440
00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:12,950
Because you and I,
we're never gonna
be together again.
441
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:15,352
I want to be with
you forever.
But it's okay.
442
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:16,920
You know, I've accepted it.
443
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,223
I'm ready to move on.
444
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:21,692
I love you.
I want to be your wife.
445
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,561
So, I guess you and I
are officially over.
446
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,564
Goodbye, Topanga.
447
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:31,269
(GRUNTING)
448
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,704
This is new.
449
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,574
Cory...
450
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,576
If something bad
happens to us someday,
451
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:41,045
it could never change
what we have now,
452
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,548
what we've always had,
because you're right, Cory.
453
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,516
Love is real, and we have
to do everything we can
454
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:46,950
to keep it alive.
455
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,320
Well, you really haven't
been doing that, dear.
456
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,756
What can I do
to make it up to you?
457
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,059
You could move your knee.
458
00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:57,127
Sorry.
459
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,897
Wherever life takes us,
I want it to be with you...
460
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,732
Forever...
461
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,467
Or until tomorrow.
462
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,613
It's time to stick it to the Amish!
463
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:17,047
(CHEERING)
464
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:19,016
(BAND PLAYING FIGHT MUSIC)
465
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:39,503
Whoa!
466
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,872
Eric, you've got to stop
groping the women
467
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:43,707
when they're
churning butter.
468
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,577
But I love dairy. I think
I'm falling hard for
Anna Lewendike.
469
00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:48,144
I tried to talk to her,
but she shunned me.
470
00:20:48,213 --> 00:20:49,680
She hit you
with a rake.
471
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,215
And her brothers
pummeled me.
472
00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:54,551
How long do you think
we have to hide out here?
473
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:58,756
Forty, fifty years.
Everybody should be dead.
474
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:01,258
You know something,
Jack? Maybe it's not
such a bad thing.
475
00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:03,827
I mean, nobody here
knows who I am.
476
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:05,595
It's a fresh start.
477
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:06,697
If I don't screw up,
478
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,800
I could have
a good life here.
479
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:12,502
Hey, isn't that that girl
you were just talking about?
480
00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:13,603
Oh, it is!
481
00:21:13,672 --> 00:21:15,505
Anna Lewendike!
482
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:17,708
I wish to make out
with thee!
483
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:21,212
You see the
arm on her?
484
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,113
They're chuckin'
pitchforks! Let's go!
485
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:24,948
All right, come on,
let's go. Let's go!
486
00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:27,351
I thought you were
a peaceful people!
39854
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