Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:02,469
Previously on
2
00:00:02,470 --> 00:00:03,770
Young Sheldon...
3
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:03,770
Paige?
4
00:00:03,802 --> 00:00:05,637
Im so happy to see you.
5
00:00:05,671 --> 00:00:07,206
Are you happy to see me?
6
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:09,242
Not immediately.
7
00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:11,410
I don't usually see young people
at my lectures.
8
00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:14,314
I enjoyed your paper on
accelerator mass spectrometry
9
00:00:14,346 --> 00:00:15,682
and wanted to find out more.
10
00:00:15,714 --> 00:00:17,050
And you?
11
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,385
I read this magazine.
12
00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:19,552
Uh-huh.
13
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:20,687
It has puzzles, too.
14
00:00:20,719 --> 00:00:22,588
Well, I think my parents
are getting a divorce.
15
00:00:22,621 --> 00:00:24,006
Why?
16
00:00:24,007 --> 00:00:25,391
They fight all the time.
17
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:28,361
I guess Im lucky.
Why?
18
00:00:28,394 --> 00:00:31,196
Im the glue that holds
our family together.
19
00:00:39,171 --> 00:00:42,142
What do you think of these?
20
00:00:42,174 --> 00:00:44,243
Theyre nice, but youre
already taller than John.
21
00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:45,512
Wont they make that worse?
22
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:47,546
No, makes it better.
23
00:00:47,579 --> 00:00:49,281
He likes me to be dominating.
24
00:00:49,314 --> 00:00:51,283
I don't want to hear that.
25
00:00:51,317 --> 00:00:55,554
Sometimes he makes me wear these
when were... messing around.
26
00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:57,823
I said I don't want to hear it.
27
00:00:57,856 --> 00:01:00,292
I wanted to say it.
28
00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:03,463
All right, I don't have the
Sperry loafers in your size,
29
00:01:03,496 --> 00:01:05,698
but I do have the Hush Puppies.
30
00:01:05,731 --> 00:01:08,200
I don't wear brown Hush
Puppies penny loafers,
31
00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:10,469
I wear brown Sperry
penny loafers.
32
00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:11,521
But they're exactly the same.
33
00:01:11,522 --> 00:01:12,539
Well, do they come
34
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,373
in a box that says
Sperry penny loafers?
35
00:01:14,406 --> 00:01:15,841
Because that one
says Hush Puppies.
36
00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:18,144
Just try em on, honey.
37
00:01:18,177 --> 00:01:19,495
What if I like them?
38
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:20,813
Well, then well get them.
39
00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:23,283
All right, lets go
over this again.
40
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,418
I don't wear brown Hush
Puppies penny loafers,
41
00:01:25,451 --> 00:01:26,819
I wear brown Sperry...
42
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:28,254
Would you give us a moment?
43
00:01:28,287 --> 00:01:30,189
Happily.
44
00:01:30,222 --> 00:01:32,192
When we get to
the Hello Kitty store today,
45
00:01:32,224 --> 00:01:34,259
remember I was the good child.
46
00:01:34,293 --> 00:01:35,728
Oh, hi, Mary.
47
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,764
Linda. So good to see you.
48
00:01:37,796 --> 00:01:38,998
Hi, Sheldon.
49
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:40,200
Hello, Paige.
50
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:41,050
Hi, Missy.
51
00:01:41,051 --> 00:01:41,867
Hi!
52
00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:44,603
Look at these rain boots...
they have ducks on them.
53
00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:46,573
And the ducks are wearing boots.
54
00:01:46,605 --> 00:01:48,508
Those are so cute.
55
00:01:49,641 --> 00:01:50,676
Well, what a nice coincidence.
56
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:51,710
Yeah.
57
00:01:51,743 --> 00:01:52,712
Good to see you.
58
00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:53,879
Yeah. How are things?
59
00:01:53,912 --> 00:01:55,215
Well, at the moment,
60
00:01:55,247 --> 00:01:56,281
trying to get shoes for Sheldon,
61
00:01:56,316 --> 00:02:00,253
but they only have these,
not the ones he likes.
62
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:05,658
Ah. You know, I think that brand
is the same kind Einstein wore.
63
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:08,495
Well, Ive never seen a picture
of his feet.
64
00:02:08,527 --> 00:02:11,230
And youre a grown-up,
so you wouldnt lie to me.
65
00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:14,667
I guess I have no choice
but to believe you.
66
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,368
All right, Ill try them.
67
00:02:16,401 --> 00:02:19,239
Great!
68
00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:22,275
Hey, Mom, can Missy and I go
to the Hello Kitty store?
69
00:02:22,307 --> 00:02:24,610
Well, its okay with me
if its okay with Mary.
70
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,514
Its okay, but you better be
on your best behavior.
71
00:02:27,546 --> 00:02:28,781
I will, I promise.
72
00:02:28,814 --> 00:02:29,615
Go ahead.
73
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:32,718
Boy, you steal
one pencil sharpener
74
00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:34,554
and you never hear
the end of it.
75
00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:38,658
How do they feel?
76
00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:42,361
My brand loyalty is being
severely tested.
77
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:59,245
I am a mighty little man.
78
00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:08,621
Did you guys know Paige
speaks three languages?
79
00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:11,424
Really?
Thats impressive.
80
00:03:11,456 --> 00:03:13,526
You only speak one.
81
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,663
Two. Im learning
conversational Klingon.
82
00:03:16,695 --> 00:03:18,264
Thats impressive, too.
83
00:03:20,332 --> 00:03:22,534
Hey, Mom, can Paige
sleep over this weekend?
84
00:03:22,568 --> 00:03:24,804
I guess,
if her mother says okay.
85
00:03:24,836 --> 00:03:27,006
Wait, where is she
going to sleep?
86
00:03:27,039 --> 00:03:28,974
In your bed.
You can sleep on the couch.
87
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,475
Absolutely not.
88
00:03:30,509 --> 00:03:32,312
Ive already changed
my brand of loafers,
89
00:03:32,344 --> 00:03:35,548
I am not changing
my sleeping quarters.
90
00:03:35,581 --> 00:03:37,716
How about you stay at
Meemaws? You like that.
91
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,752
No, Meemaw has a date.
92
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:40,752
So?
93
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,421
So if those shoes I just bought
94
00:03:42,454 --> 00:03:43,689
do their job,
95
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,625
that will be a "no children
allowed" scenario.
96
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,996
Well, Im sleeping in my bed,
and thats that.
97
00:03:50,028 --> 00:03:52,298
Fine, Paige and I
can share my bed.
98
00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:53,832
You okay with that, Shelly?
99
00:03:53,865 --> 00:03:57,736
I trust you two will stay quiet
throughout the evening
100
00:03:57,770 --> 00:03:59,605
and go to sleep at
the appropriate time?
101
00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:02,040
Absolutely.
102
00:04:02,074 --> 00:04:04,843
All right, then.
Im okay with it, Mom.
103
00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:08,647
How is he ever gonna
get through this world?
104
00:04:11,950 --> 00:04:13,752
Welcome, come on in.
105
00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:15,822
Oh, thank you.
106
00:04:15,854 --> 00:04:18,423
You look nice. Going out
to dinner with your husband?
107
00:04:18,457 --> 00:04:20,059
Ugh, no. Girlfriends.
108
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,494
Hi, Sheldon.
109
00:04:21,526 --> 00:04:22,862
Hello.
110
00:04:22,894 --> 00:04:23,730
What are you doing?
111
00:04:23,762 --> 00:04:25,898
Chemistry homework
for extra credit.
112
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,766
Cute, I did that last year.
113
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,569
Paige!
114
00:04:29,601 --> 00:04:31,504
Missy!
115
00:04:31,536 --> 00:04:33,706
Aw, they're so sweet.
116
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:37,409
Yeah, lifell suck that
right out of them soon enough.
117
00:04:37,442 --> 00:04:38,778
Well, bye.
Bye.
118
00:04:38,810 --> 00:04:41,880
You got to meet my dolls...
I told them all about you!
119
00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:48,353
"Cute, I did that last year."
120
00:04:48,387 --> 00:04:50,523
Thank you for agreeing
to the early-bird dinner.
121
00:04:50,555 --> 00:04:54,661
When I eat too late,
the food just sits right here.
122
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:57,062
Yeah, gettin old is no party.
123
00:04:57,096 --> 00:05:00,399
Oh, Ive had this problem
since I was ten.
124
00:05:00,432 --> 00:05:05,404
When I was in grade school,
my nickname was Old Burpy.
125
00:05:05,437 --> 00:05:07,906
Well, I will not be
calling you that.
126
00:05:07,939 --> 00:05:09,408
You can if youd like.
127
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:10,776
Im good.
128
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,545
So, I have a little surprise
for you.
129
00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:15,682
Oh, I love surprises.
Whatcha got?
130
00:05:15,714 --> 00:05:17,550
Im going to learn to drive.
131
00:05:17,582 --> 00:05:19,384
Really?
132
00:05:19,418 --> 00:05:20,420
Yes.
133
00:05:20,452 --> 00:05:24,023
While I love having you be
the dominant personality
134
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:27,526
behind closed doors,
I think out in public
135
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,728
I ought to take on
more of a macho role.
136
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:33,800
Well, youre macho enough
for me, John,
137
00:05:33,832 --> 00:05:37,103
but I would enjoy not having
to drive us all the time.
138
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:38,471
Then its settled.
139
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,005
Well, when do you start?
140
00:05:40,038 --> 00:05:41,807
As soon as you teach me.
141
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:45,812
Me? Do you really think
thats a good idea?
142
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:49,115
Its perfect.
I teach you about science
143
00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:50,850
so you can impress
your grandson,
144
00:05:50,882 --> 00:05:54,853
and you teach me to drive
so I can impress you.
145
00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:59,591
Okay, but if we do this,
Im in charge.
146
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:04,529
You have to do what I say when
and how I tell you to do it.
147
00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:08,434
Hubba-hubba, its like
were back in the bedroom.
148
00:06:10,002 --> 00:06:13,605
Did you know that tea was
discovered by accident?
149
00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:16,108
I didn't, but I don't know
lots of stuff.
150
00:06:16,141 --> 00:06:18,810
The Emperor Shennong of China
was boiling water in his garden
151
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,447
and a leaf from a tea tree
fell into his pot.
152
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,750
Tea comes from trees?
153
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:25,985
Whered you think it comes from?
154
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:27,754
The supermarket.
155
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:32,057
What, the girls leave you out
of their little picnic?
156
00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:33,692
Oh, they invited him.
157
00:06:33,725 --> 00:06:35,026
Well, then why aint you
out there?
158
00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:38,130
Eat outdoors? Do I look
like a hippie to you?
159
00:06:38,163 --> 00:06:39,999
I thought Paige was your friend.
160
00:06:40,031 --> 00:06:41,768
Shes more of a colleague.
161
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:42,834
Oh.
162
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,170
Although for reasons unknown,
163
00:06:44,202 --> 00:06:46,538
shes currently behaving
like a ten-year-old.
164
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,774
Maybe thats because she
is a ten-year-old.
165
00:06:48,807 --> 00:06:50,042
Still no excuse.
166
00:06:52,110 --> 00:06:54,045
All right, Im just gonna
come out and ask it:
167
00:06:54,079 --> 00:06:56,449
what the heck is a colleague?
168
00:07:04,189 --> 00:07:06,024
Okay, pick a number.
169
00:07:06,057 --> 00:07:07,125
Three.
170
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,028
One, two, three.
171
00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:10,596
Now pick a color.
172
00:07:10,629 --> 00:07:11,898
Pink, duh.
173
00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:16,668
The name of
your future pony is...
174
00:07:16,701 --> 00:07:18,637
Sparkle Sunshine.
175
00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:20,839
I would totally name it that!
176
00:07:20,872 --> 00:07:23,608
Sheldon, do you want to
have your fortune read?
177
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:25,511
Absolutely not.
178
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:28,514
And I cannot believe a person
as smart as you is doing it.
179
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,615
Why? Its fun.
180
00:07:30,649 --> 00:07:33,920
He doesn't know how to have fun;
hes an old man.
181
00:07:33,952 --> 00:07:35,288
Im not an old man.
182
00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:37,622
Oh, yeah?
Whats your favorite color?
183
00:07:37,656 --> 00:07:38,925
Khaki.
184
00:07:38,957 --> 00:07:41,026
Old man.
185
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:50,870
Im trying to sleep.
186
00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:52,872
Come inside and play with us.
187
00:07:52,904 --> 00:07:54,072
Dont invite him.
188
00:07:54,105 --> 00:07:55,207
This is a girls fort,
189
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,843
not an old man fort.
190
00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:59,077
Im not an old man.
191
00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:00,312
Then come inside.
192
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:02,314
Are you crazy? Its bedtime.
193
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:05,218
Old man.
194
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,105
What are you doing?
195
00:08:26,137 --> 00:08:28,707
Were tying
Georgies ankles together.
196
00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:31,209
So when he gets
out of bed he falls down.
197
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,845
But he could get hurt.
198
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:34,346
If were lucky.
199
00:08:34,379 --> 00:08:36,782
Well, I will not be
a party to this.
200
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,350
Old man.
201
00:08:42,254 --> 00:08:45,924
Thats when
the bloodthirsty Goatman...
202
00:08:45,957 --> 00:08:48,126
part goat, part man...
203
00:08:48,159 --> 00:08:52,697
crept up on the sleeping
children... No.
204
00:08:52,731 --> 00:08:57,269
...and sank his sharp little
teeth into their necks... No.
205
00:08:57,302 --> 00:08:59,639
...and drank their blood!
206
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:01,106
No.
207
00:09:01,139 --> 00:09:02,807
Problem?
208
00:09:02,841 --> 00:09:05,043
Several. First of all,
goats are herbivores.
209
00:09:05,076 --> 00:09:07,245
They don't eat meat,
let alone drink blood.
210
00:09:07,279 --> 00:09:09,381
Maybe the half man part
drinks blood.
211
00:09:09,414 --> 00:09:12,751
Dont even get me started
on the "half man" stuff.
212
00:09:12,784 --> 00:09:16,154
Sheldon, its just
a fun scary story.
213
00:09:16,187 --> 00:09:18,024
Its nonsense is what it is.
214
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,258
Old man.
215
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,092
Im not an old man, Im ten.
216
00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:22,827
More like 110.
217
00:09:22,861 --> 00:09:26,131
You know, I read that adults
who had a stunted childhood
218
00:09:26,164 --> 00:09:28,833
often become social misfits
and weirdos.
219
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,769
You didn't read that,
youre making it up
220
00:09:30,802 --> 00:09:31,836
like your goat story.
221
00:09:31,870 --> 00:09:36,308
Psychology Magazine,
February issue, 1988.
222
00:09:36,341 --> 00:09:37,777
Well, um...
223
00:09:37,809 --> 00:09:40,178
That doesn't make it true.
224
00:09:40,211 --> 00:09:42,014
Guess youll find out
when youre an adult.
225
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,950
I guess I will.
226
00:09:46,217 --> 00:09:47,702
Well, we know ho
227
00:09:47,703 --> 00:09:49,187
w this story ends.
228
00:09:49,221 --> 00:09:50,255
I grew up to become a
229
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,289
well-adjusted
230
00:09:51,323 --> 00:09:52,325
and charming fellow.
Bu
231
00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:53,326
t at that moment in time,
232
00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:54,493
she had me worried.
233
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,896
Hey, Georgie, breakfast.
Mo
234
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,264
m made Eggos.
235
00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:00,316
Eg
236
00:10:00,317 --> 00:10:01,333
gos, sweet.
237
00:10:01,366 --> 00:10:03,668
Ow! Dang it!
238
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:14,879
Oh, dear.
239
00:10:14,913 --> 00:10:15,447
What?
240
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,216
Paige was right.
241
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:19,217
"Theres ample evidence
to indicate
242
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:22,355
"that a stunted childhood
can cause one to be maladjusted
243
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:23,688
as an adult."
244
00:10:23,722 --> 00:10:24,923
Then Im screwed.
245
00:10:24,956 --> 00:10:26,692
What do you mean?
246
00:10:26,725 --> 00:10:29,161
When Im not in school,
Im doing homework.
247
00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:31,963
When Im not doing homework,
Im practicing my cello.
248
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,365
And when Im not doing that,
249
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:35,167
Im working in my parents store.
250
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,769
That must be why were friends.
251
00:10:37,802 --> 00:10:39,004
Were both stunted.
252
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,373
Sounds right.
253
00:10:40,405 --> 00:10:43,341
Well, I for one
plan to do something about it.
254
00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:45,211
Like what?
255
00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:48,213
Im going to goof off,
engage in horseplay,
256
00:10:48,246 --> 00:10:50,383
and if time permits,
be quite immature.
257
00:10:50,415 --> 00:10:51,951
If time permits?
258
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:54,086
I have homework, too.
259
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,254
Would you like to join me
in my shenanigans?
260
00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:57,389
No, thanks.
261
00:10:57,423 --> 00:11:01,126
Arent you concerned about
being a maladjusted adult?
262
00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:03,495
Nah. I'll just marry
an American woman
263
00:11:03,528 --> 00:11:06,065
and hope she can fix me.
264
00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:13,839
Im usually the one
giving the tests,
265
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,424
but, uh, today Im
266
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,975
taking
267
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:16,975
one.
268
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,244
No talking.
269
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:22,782
And I usually say that
to my students.
270
00:11:26,985 --> 00:11:27,986
What?
271
00:11:28,019 --> 00:11:30,022
Hows it going?
272
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:33,058
I cant tell you.
Theres no talking.
273
00:11:33,091 --> 00:11:34,426
No talking.
274
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:35,760
Sorry.
275
00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:44,970
Mind if I join you?
276
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:45,971
Doing what?
277
00:11:46,004 --> 00:11:47,139
Swinging.
278
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,274
Seriously?
279
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:51,110
Yes. Its my hope to feel
the wind in my hair
280
00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:52,278
and be carefree.
281
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,412
Um, okay.
282
00:12:07,826 --> 00:12:10,528
Sheldon threw up on me.
Sheldon threw up on me!
283
00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:15,868
Okay, rearview mirrors.
284
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:18,136
Um, all set.
285
00:12:18,169 --> 00:12:21,907
Turn signal left.
Turn signal right.
286
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:24,476
Um, foot on the brake.
287
00:12:24,509 --> 00:12:28,114
Transmission in drive.
288
00:12:32,317 --> 00:12:34,953
You have to start the car first.
289
00:12:34,986 --> 00:12:37,056
Of course.
290
00:12:37,088 --> 00:12:38,423
Sorry, Im a bit nervous.
291
00:12:38,456 --> 00:12:40,225
Youre not alone.
292
00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:45,865
And here we go.
293
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:54,072
This is crazy.
294
00:12:54,105 --> 00:12:55,540
Im doing it.
295
00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:09,288
Excuse me, I was
hoping to purchase
296
00:13:09,321 --> 00:13:11,322
some practical joke
paraphernalia
297
00:13:11,356 --> 00:13:13,325
so that I may behave childishly.
298
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:14,860
Rack in the corner.
299
00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:16,095
Thank you.
300
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:34,346
"If its funny, its a Bazinga."
301
00:13:34,379 --> 00:13:35,581
Interesting.
302
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:44,423
Yellow light.
Yellow light!
303
00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:45,890
Its okay, keep going.
304
00:13:45,924 --> 00:13:47,293
But yellow means slow down.
305
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:48,427
You cant slow down
in the intersection!
306
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:50,095
Keep going.
307
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:51,563
Are you sure?
Yes.
308
00:13:51,596 --> 00:13:52,664
Go. Go!
309
00:14:02,073 --> 00:14:05,610
Oh, God. Oh, God.
310
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:07,212
Oh...
311
00:14:07,245 --> 00:14:08,514
Im so sorry.
312
00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:10,481
Its okay, were fine.
313
00:14:10,515 --> 00:14:12,183
Nobody got hurt.
314
00:14:12,217 --> 00:14:14,052
I don't think I can
do this, Connie.
315
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:16,254
Of course you can.
Were just getting started.
316
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:19,457
No, its too much information.
I cant process it.
317
00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:21,427
It was just a yellow light.
318
00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:24,596
Not just the light.
There were other cars.
319
00:14:24,629 --> 00:14:25,931
Theres pedestrians.
320
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,149
There was a guy on a bicycle.
321
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,333
So?
322
00:14:28,366 --> 00:14:30,201
Thats just too many
random elements.
323
00:14:30,235 --> 00:14:32,937
The-the-the stimuli
are overwhelming.
324
00:14:32,971 --> 00:14:35,407
Okay. Okay.
325
00:14:38,543 --> 00:14:41,046
Im sorry.
I know Im letting you down.
326
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,948
Oh, don't be silly.
Youre not letting me down.
327
00:14:45,683 --> 00:14:48,953
I love you whether
you can drive or not.
328
00:14:50,588 --> 00:14:52,423
You love me?
329
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:58,496
Well, I...
330
00:14:58,529 --> 00:15:00,499
I suppose I do.
331
00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:05,370
Am I allowed to reciprocate?
332
00:15:05,403 --> 00:15:08,974
Sure, if thats the way you feel.
333
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:10,975
Oh, it is.
334
00:15:11,009 --> 00:15:13,245
I love you, too, Connie.
335
00:15:13,278 --> 00:15:16,248
Well...
336
00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:20,719
Thats just great.
337
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,455
All righty.
338
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:27,125
Would you like to
switch seats with me?
339
00:15:27,158 --> 00:15:29,595
Yes, but give me a minute
340
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:32,463
because my legs are
a little wobbly.
341
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:35,500
Is that from the yellow light
or the "I love yous"?
342
00:15:35,533 --> 00:15:36,735
Both.
343
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:43,676
Dad, would you care for
a piece of gum?
344
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:45,244
No, thank you.
345
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,011
Please, take a piece of gum.
346
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:48,279
Why?
347
00:15:48,313 --> 00:15:49,514
Just please.
348
00:15:53,318 --> 00:15:54,586
Bazinga.
349
00:15:56,587 --> 00:15:57,623
You understand any of that?
350
00:15:57,655 --> 00:16:00,558
I don't know, I guess
hes just being a little boy.
351
00:16:00,591 --> 00:16:02,360
Since when?
352
00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:05,397
Georgie? Georgie?
353
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:06,565
What?
354
00:16:06,597 --> 00:16:11,035
Would you like some
salted mixed nuts?
355
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,037
Nah.
356
00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:13,639
Look, they're the fancy kind.
357
00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:15,274
Thats a trick can.
358
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:16,708
No, its not.
359
00:16:16,741 --> 00:16:18,811
Listen. When you shake it,
theres a rattling sound,
360
00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:20,446
as if nuts are inside.
361
00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:24,716
Fine.
362
00:16:28,086 --> 00:16:30,688
Bazinga.
363
00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:35,059
Sparks residence,
Billy speaking.
364
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:36,394
This is the electric company.
365
00:16:36,427 --> 00:16:37,462
Hello.
366
00:16:37,495 --> 00:16:40,264
Im calling to see
if your refrigerator is running.
367
00:16:40,298 --> 00:16:42,701
I'll go check.
368
00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:47,673
Im back. Its running.
369
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:49,140
Well, then you better
go catch it.
370
00:16:49,173 --> 00:16:52,577
Bazinga.
371
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:56,148
This is Connie Tucker.
372
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:57,482
Leave a message
when you hear the...
373
00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:58,783
beep.
374
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:03,355
Hello, um, Meemaw,
375
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:04,589
this is Sheldon.
376
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:09,394
If you were home, I was going
to say, "Is Mr. Wall there?"
377
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:10,729
And then you would say, "No."
378
00:17:10,762 --> 00:17:13,766
And then I would say,
"Is Mrs. Wall there?"
379
00:17:13,798 --> 00:17:15,401
And then you would say, "No."
380
00:17:15,433 --> 00:17:17,769
And then I would say,
"Well, if there are no walls,
381
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:20,838
then how does your roof
stay up?"
382
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,108
Um, okay. Bazinga.
383
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:27,479
That was pathetic.
384
00:17:27,512 --> 00:17:29,448
It was.
385
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:33,184
Im not sure Im cut out for
these antics and shenanigans.
386
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,520
I guess youre gonna
grow up to be a weirdo.
387
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,789
I suppose I am.
388
00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:40,259
Life is so confusing.
389
00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:43,261
I always hoped
it would be easier for me
390
00:17:43,295 --> 00:17:44,596
when I grew up, but...
391
00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:48,800
...now Im not so sure it will.
392
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:51,269
Its gonna be all right.
393
00:17:58,544 --> 00:17:59,711
You were faking?
394
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,415
Bazinga.
395
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:05,368
An
396
00:18:05,369 --> 00:18:06,285
d thats how I became
397
00:18:06,317 --> 00:18:08,019
the madcap prankster al
398
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,721
l my friends know and love.
399
00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:19,530
So, John, how was
your first driving lesson?
400
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:21,500
Intense.
401
00:18:21,532 --> 00:18:22,667
At one point,
402
00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:24,803
I was approaching
an intersection.
403
00:18:24,836 --> 00:18:27,538
The light was green,
but at the last moment,
404
00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:28,941
it turned yellow.
405
00:18:28,973 --> 00:18:30,342
I didn't know what to do.
406
00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:32,877
Should I keep going?
Should I stop?
407
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:35,213
There were other cars nearby.
408
00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:36,414
Connie was yelling.
409
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,817
A glare from the sun
was in my eyes.
410
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,285
So, what happened?
411
00:18:40,318 --> 00:18:42,421
Somehow, I managed
to make it through,
412
00:18:42,453 --> 00:18:44,256
turned on my directional,
413
00:18:44,288 --> 00:18:45,824
and slowly pulled
414
00:18:45,857 --> 00:18:47,893
to the side of the road.
415
00:18:47,925 --> 00:18:51,730
Thats how you
tell a scary story.
416
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:55,834
In lighter news,
your meemaw loves me.
417
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:57,903
Captioning sponsored by CBS
418
00:18:57,935 --> 00:18:59,904
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
419
00:18:59,938 --> 00:19:02,941
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
28181
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
