All language subtitles for T A O O a H S01E11 Harriets Hairdo 1080p AMZN WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-WhatsBeyond (1)_track3_[eng]

- Hotpoint Quality
Appliances presents

America's favorite family
comedy, "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet,"
starring the entire Nelson

family, Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

So settle back in
your easy chairs

and enjoy another delightful
half-hour with all the Nelsons.

Ozzie Nelson, of
course, plays the part

of the head of the
Nelson household, Ozzie.

And here is his lovely
wife, Harriet Nelson,

who keeps the family
on an even keel.

Hello, Harriet.

The smiling young
teenager we now see

is David Nelson, older
of the two Nelson boys

and played by David Nelson.

And here, we have the
youngest of the Nelsons,

the little guy with
a twinkle in his eye,

Ricky Nelson, played
by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next-door
neighbor, Mr. Thornberry,

better known as
Ozzie's pal Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- "Even though Rocky Blackheart
had a perfect alibi, somehow,

Rudolph Goodsoul
suspected he was guilty.

There was something about
the man and the matter

which seemed suspicious, the
way he jumped when the word

'police' was mentioned,
the way he was

startled when the shot
rang out and the bullet

grazed his head."

"Yes, Blackie
was as guilty as sin."

- Pretty dull, isn't it?

I wonder if we can find Harriet.

Whatever she's doing is
more interesting than this.

Say, that looks like Ricky.

- Hey, David!

- What do you want?

- Where's Mom?

- She went downtown
to get her hair done!

- Oh, so that's
where Harriet is.

Well, let's go down
to the beauty shop

and see if we can find her.

- So there we were,
standing in the moonlight.

And I looked straight at
him and I said, "Sir,"

I said, "You are a big
dope, and don't you

ever speak to me again."

That's the night we
decided to get married.

- That's not Harriet.

Oh, there she is, talking
to Pierre himself.

She must be making
an appointment.

- Well, that's just it, Pierre.

I can't decide how
I want it done.

It's just that I'm
so sick and tired

of the way I've been doing it.

I'm sure Mr. Nelson
must be, too.

- What does he say about it?

- Well, I figured he's pretty
much like other husbands.

He never mentions
my hair very much.

- Oh, but, madame,
you're so beautiful,

and he does not notice you?

Oh, I will kill him.

Do you understand?

I will kill him.

Do you think he'd like that?

Oh, I'm afraid not, Pierre.

Let's see, my appointment is
next Wednesday at 2:00, right?

- Eh, that is right, madame.

- Well, maybe
between now and then,

you can dream up something
special and outstanding.

- Oh, leave it to
Pierre, madame.

I already have in mind something
very unusual and very exotic.

We will try all your hair combed
down in front of your face.

Of course, once
finished, you can only

go out with your husband
or a trusted friend.

- Why is that?

- Because you
cannot see a thing.

I call it "peek-a-boo."

- I'm afraid that's a
little flashy for me.

I thought perhaps if I could
comb it up on the sides

and down on in the back.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

If it's not completely down,
then it must be up, up, up.

- But can't it just be down--
- No, no, no.

Up, up, up,

- Well, why can't it be down--

- Up, up, up.

- But Mr. Nelson
may like it down.

- Who cares?

Pierre likes it up, up, up.

- Who cares?

Mr. Nelson's my husband.

- Madame, millions of husbands
definitely want Pierre,

and Pierre says up.

Please, I will give you the
latest, a beautiful updo.

- Well, I don't know.

You say it's nice, huh?

- Nice?

Oh, I have experimented
on my own hair,

and I find myself irresistible.

- Well, I have between
now and next Wednesday

to make up my mind.
- It will be a great pleasure.

Merci, madame.
- Au revoir, monsieur.

- So long, kid.

- Come on, Ricky,
finish your breakfast.

- OK.

- You haven't even
touched those eggs.

- David's practically finished,
and you haven't even started.

- David's just a big showoff.

- Come on, Ricky,
how do you expect

to grow if you don't eat?

- I sure would like something
different for breakfast.

- What do you think this is?
A hotel?

- Nobody's talking
to you, David.

- What would you like, Rick?

- Probably hot
dogs and ice cream.

- That's exactly
what I had in mind.

And maybe a chocolate
bar for dessert.

- That's not my idea
of an ideal breakfast.

- That's what Will
Thornberry has

for breakfast every morning.

- Oh, Ricky, Will
Thornberry does not

have hot dogs, ice cream,
and candy bars for breakfast.

- Sure he does, Pop.

He even told me so himself.

- Oh, Ricky, that's ridiculous.

- OK, wise guy, you
can even ask him.

- Oh, now I'm sure Mrs.
Thornberry doesn't give Will

any breakfast like that.

- That's just it.

Mrs. Thornberry
isn't this mother.

- What's this?

- Will's mother was a
beautiful gypsy princess.

- A beautiful gypsy princess?

- That's right.

He was left on a
doorstep when he

was two years old in a basket.

He's got a birthmark
to prove it.

- Oh, Ricky, I think Will was
just making up some big story.

- He even showed
me the birthmark.

- Oh, Ricky, I remember
when Will was born.

He wasn't left on the
doorstep, and Mrs. Thornberry

is his real mother.

- All I know is what he told me.

The rest of it's
probably all bunk, too.

- What's the rest of it?

- About his father being
the King of England.

Well, at least
he has quite an imagination.

How did he happen to
tell you the story?

- Well, it was a rainy day, and
we were sitting in the garage,

and David was telling Will
how you were with the FBI.

- What's this?

- May I be excused, please?

I'm all finished.

- Oh, just a second.

What's this about me
being with the FBI?

- Well, it was rainy and there
was nothing much to talk about,

and Will was telling us how his
mother was a beautiful gypsy

princess.

- Well, I know, but, David,
I'm not with the FBI.

And I don't want you
to go around making up

stories like that.

- Well, if you were with the
FBI, you couldn't tell anybody,

could you, Pop?

- Not even your own
family, could you?

- No.

- Then how do we
know you're not?

- Ricky, I'm not with the FBI,
and that's all there is to it.

- We were just kidding
them along, Pop.

- OK, but from now
on, stop making up

whoppers about your old
man, both of you guys.

- OK, Pop.

- It sure is going to be
awful dull on a rainy day.

- Really a couple
of characters there.

- Yeah, I can't imagine
who they take after.

- Oh, uh, Harriet, could you
let me have the book a second?

- You even have to read
at the breakfast table?

- Well, this is pretty
interesting stuff.

Now, here we are.

"Even though Rocky Blackheart
had a perfect alibi, somehow,

Rudolph Goodsoul
suspected he was guilty."

I already read that.

Oh, here we are.

- Ozzie?

- "Rocky knew he was trapped.

No matter how smart
a criminal is--"

- Before you get too
engrossed in that book,

there's something I'd
like to talk to you about.

- Mhm.

- I made an appointment at
the beauty shop for Wednesday.

You know Pierre's?

Ozzie?

- Hmm?

- I said I made an
appointment at the beauty shop

for Wednesday.

- Oh, oh!

Gee, that's great, Harriet.

- I'm going to get a permanent.

- Oh, that's nice.

- I'm so darned tired
of my hair recently,

I'd like to do something
drastic about it.

How do you think I
should have it done?

- Oh, oh, yes, that's
very nice, dear.

- Ozzie, could you
please listen to me?

- I'm listening.

You asked me how you
should have your hair done.

- Well, how do you think
I should have it done?

Long or short?

Up or down?

- Oh, either way would
be fine, Harriet.

Your hair always looks nice.

- Do you think you'd like it up?

- Hmm?

Oh, yes, I think that'd
be swell, Harriet.

- How about down?

- Oh, yes, that's fine.

- Which would you like better?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

What did you say?

- Oh, Ozzie, would you
put down for a minute?

This is important to me, and I'd
like your honest opinion on it.

- Oh, yes, I know,
it's about your hair.

- Yes, well, how do you
like the way I'm wearing it?

- Oh, Harriet, it
looks beautiful!

When did you start
wearing it that way?

- About three years ago.

- Oh, well, like I say,
it looks beautiful.

Your hair always looks so nice.

- Well, I've been thinking
about getting a permanent,

and I couldn't decide
whether to have it

cut shorter at the same time.

What do you think?

- Well, gee, I don't know.

That's up to you.

- Which way would
you like it better?

- Well, I don't know, Harriet.

I like your hair
anyway you wear it.

It always looks beautiful.

You know, I don't care
whether it's long, or short,

or curly, or wavy.

It always looks fine to me.

- Well, can't you
express an opinion?

- Well, I just
expressed an opinion.

I told you it always
looks wonderful,

whether it's long, or
short, or curly, or wavy.

- Well, at least you
could show some interest

and express an honest opinion.

You know just as well as I do
that sometimes my hair looks

very nice and other times
it looks perfectly terrible.

Have you ever told
me I look terrible?

- No.

Now that you mention it,
I don't think I've ever

told you you look terrible.

Gee, I feel like a cad.

- But how can I get a permanent
when you won't tell me

whether you want me to or not?

- Well, Harriet, I just
told you it's OK with me.

Gee, when I want
to get a haircut,

I don't make a big
deal out of it.

I just go down to the barber
shop and sit down in the chair

and lean back--

- And fall asleep.

- How do you know I fall asleep?

- I've seen some
of your haircuts.

It's OK with me if you'd want
to show any interest in me.

- Oh, I show plenty of interest.

I show interest in what you wear
and the way your hair is fixed.

Believe me, it isn't I
don't notice, Harriet.

- Oh, come now, I could probably
cut my hair off entirely,

and you wouldn't
know the difference.

- Oh, yes, I would.

- Oh, no, you wouldn't.

- Yes, I would.

If you cut your
hair off entirely,

your hat wouldn't fit.

It would fall down
over your eyes.

You would stumble.

And when I went to pick you
up, I'd be sure to notice it.

- All right, I'll tell
you what we'll do.

You stay right there.

Now, stay there.

Don't turn around.

- What's the idea?

- What have I got on?

What color skirt?

- Well--

- Nuh uh, don't turn around now.

- Uh, let's see now.

You're wearing a
dark brown skirt.

- And what kind of a sweater?

- Uh, uh, the gray sweater
with the turtleneck.

- Trimmed in what?

- Trimmed in those little,
uh, red things, right?

The gray sweater
with the turtleneck

trimmed in the little red thing.

- OK.

How about now?

Well?

- You know, I could have sworn
you gave away that dress about

three years ago.

- Hello?

- Hello, Harriet?

- Oh, hello, Barbara.
How are you?

- Oh, fine.
Thanks.

You're not busy, are you?

- No, not a bit.

What's on your mind?

- Oh, nothing important, really.

I just wanted to tell you how
lovely you looked at the PTA

the other night.
- Well, thank you, Barb.

So did you.

- Oh, that was such a cute
dress you were wearing.

I just loved it.

- Oh, thank you.

I just bought it the other day.

I wish Ozzie were as
observant as you are.

- I guess husbands
are all alike when

it comes to noticing new
clothes on their wives.

- Well, Ozzie's just no help
at all in that department.

Every time I ask him how I
look, he just says, "Fine."

I don't know whether
it's very flattering

or a little insulting.

I'm getting kind of
tired of the way I've

been doing my hair
lately, and I'm

afraid Ozzie won't like it if
I make any drastic changes.

And yet, I just
can't get him to make

any suggestions of any sort.

- Well, if it's any
consolation to you,

my husband's the same way.

- Well, one of
these days, I think

I'll go in and have my
hair dyed a robin's egg

blue or a pale pink.

That'll fix it.

Oh, well, me too.

- Say, you know, I just
thought of something.

You really want him
to notice your hair?

- I certainly do.

- Of course, it's kind of a mean
trick to play on poor Ozzie.

- Never mind poor Ozzie.

What is it?

- Well, I was in a play we put
on up at the lake last summer,

and I played the part of a
rather devastating female.

And I wore this sensational
platinum blonde wig.

A bit startling,
but really exotic.

- Oh, Barbara, that's
a wonderful idea.

Do you still have it?
- Sure, I do.

Do you think it would fit you?

- Well, we sure can
find out in a hurry.

- Well, listen, why
don't you stop off

at the house and
you can try it on?

- Oh, that sounds wonderful.

Meanwhile, I'll get
a soft pillow ready.

- Soft pillow?
I don't get it.

- Well, when I walk in
as a platinum blonde,

I don't want Ozzie's head to
bounce when it hits the floor.

- "Even though Rocky Blackheart
had a perfect alibi, somehow,

Rudolph Goodsoul
suspected he was guilty."

Hmm, already read that.

- Oh, enough of this.

But keep your eye on
that front door, boys.

I have a hunch
something exciting

is going to happen
any minute now.

- Hello, dear.

- Oh, hello, dear.

- Hi.

- Why, what the heck
happened to your hair?

- Oh, I thought
I'd surprise you.

Remember I said I was going to
do something drastic about it?

- Well, I know, but for
goodness sakes, Harriet!

- You like it?

- Well, I--

I, yi, yi!

- Well, say something.

Don't just sit there
and make noises.

- Well, it's-- it's--

Just I-- I've never had
a blonde wife before.

- You should be fine with that.

Lots of wives are blonde.

- Well, I know, but
I mean, you're--

You're so-- so blonde.

- Well, it's platinum blonde.

You like Marilyn Monroe,
and she's a platinum blonde.

- Well, yes, but I mean,
you're such a sudden blonde.

I'm sitting here reading
a book, and this walks in.

I mean, you know,
it takes a while

for a man to get adjusted.

A man with a
platinum blonde wife

has an entirely new
outlook on life.

- Well, take your time.

I want your honest
opinion on it.

Well, do you like it?

- Oh, it's very attractive.

It's very striking.

And how long will
it take to grow out?

- Well, if you don't
like it, I can always

have it dyed back to
its natural color.

- Well, I didn't
say that exactly.

- Oh, well, good.

I'll keep it this way then.

- Well--

- Pardon me just a second, dear.

I want to see how this
looks with my other coat.

Fine thing.

Dyes her hair platinum blonde
without even asking my advice.

Do I ever do anything drastic
without getting her opinion

on it first?

No.

- If you were talking
to someone, Oz,

they must have left.

- Oh, Thorny, you picked a very
interesting time to come in.

Have you seen Harriet
this afternoon?

- No, I haven't.

- Take a look in the hallway.

- Holy smokes, Oz.

- How about that?

- Hey, you better get her out of
here before Harriet comes home.

- No, no, don't worry about it..

- I do, but will Harriet?

- Thorny, that is Harriet.

Take another look.

- What?

- Yes!

What have you got to say now?

- Well, I--

I, yi, yi!

- Same thing I said.

- Holy smokes.

- Hey, where are you going?

- I'm going to go back home
and lock my wife in the house.

This thing may be catching.

- Hey, Mom?

Mom?

- I guess she isn't in here.

- Maybe she went downstairs.

- Here, come on, let's go.

- Holy smokes!

- What's the matter with you?

- Mom isn't here,
but her hair is.

- What are you talking about?

- Look at that!

Gee, I didn't like
Mom with blonde hair,

but I don't think I would
like her without any.

- Don't be such a dope.

This is a wig.

I guess mom's been wearing it.

- Mom really doesn't
have blonde hair, huh?

- No, she's been
wearing this wig.

- Gee, I didn't know that.

- I guess Pop doesn't
know it either.

- Gee, this is neat, boy.

- You better put that back.

- No worry.

How do I look?

- Oh, you're a
doll, a living doll.

- Kiss me.

- Take that thing off you.

Come on.

- Did you know I'm wrestling
in the main event tonight?

- Come on, let's go.

- Boy, Mom really put one
over on Pop, didn't she?

- I'll say.

Boy, I bet Pop blows its top
when he hears about this.

- Heck, I guess that
makes them even.

Mom just flipped her wig.

Oh, oh, oh, he's
a dan, dan, dandy.

We have something
to tell you, Pa.

- Oh, uh, fellas, I'm
kind of busy right now.

- You're not doing
anything, Pop.

You're just sitting
there by yourself.

- I know, but I'm thinking.

Got quite a problem on my mind.

Something requires a lot
of diplomacy and tact.

- Well, this is
pretty important, Pop.

- OK, what is it?

- Did you notice anything
different about Mom's hair

today?

- You bet I did.

- Pretty sharp, huh?

- Did you guys like it?

- Well, there's
one thing about it.

You can't miss her in a crowd.

- What was it you guys
wanted to tell me?

- We got a secret
we'd like to tell you.

- Oh?

What's the secret?

- Well, first, I got
to tell you this story.

We went to the
show the other day,

and this guy in the
picture knew a secret.

And he said to this other
guy, you give me $1,000,

and I'll tell you this secret.

- Just a second, Ricky.

That's blackmail or
extortion or something.

- You know what this
guy in the picture said?

- What did he say?

- Leace us, and
let's call it a gift.

- Oh, he did, did he?

- It's still blackmail
though, huh, Pop?

- Yes, it is.

I don't care what the
guy in the picture

said, demanding payment for
telling a secret is extortion

or blackmail or something.

Anyway, it certainly
has an illegal overtone.

However, I do believe that
under certain extenuating

circumstances, it is
considered ethical to request

a certain modest
payment in exchange

for legitimate information.

So I think I can give
you boys a slight advance

on your allowance.

- Gee, that's swell.

- Thanks, Pop.

- OK, now what's the secret?

- You know this platinum blonde
hair Ma's been wearing around?

- Yeah?

- Ricky and I saw it hanging
in the doorknob in her bedroom.

- Hanging on the doorknob?

- Yes, sir, it's a wig.

- Well, how about that.

So your mother thought she'd
put one over on me, eh?

And she almost did
too, except that I

happen to have keen powers
of observation and deduction

and a couple of extra dollars.

Here you are, boys.

- Thanks, Pop.

- Gee, thanks, Pop.

- And now, we're going to have
a little fun at your mother's

expense.

Oh, there you are.

I've been looking
all over for you.

I have a little news for you.

I think it'll make
you very happy.

- Well, first of all, let me
tell you something that I think

will make you very happy.
- No, no, no, no.

Please, dear, allow me first.

- OK, go ahead.

- Well, I've been thinking
over what you said before

about my never making any
comment as to the way you

dress or the way
you wear your hair.

And I've come to the
conclusion you're

absolutely right, Harriet.

- Oh?

- Not only that, I've
reached a definite decision

as to the new
color of your hair.

- Oh, what is it?

- I think it's beautiful.

- What?

- I really do.

I mean, it gives you a whole new
life, a new spark, a new joie

de vivre.

Harriet, don't ever go back to
your own natural, dull-colored

hair.

Oh, you had something
you wanted to tell me.

- Oh, well--

- Yes, dear?

- This isn't my own hair.

- What?

- No, let me show you.

You stay right there.

- Harriet, wait a minute.

For goodness sakes,
what are you doing?

- See?
It's a wig.

It comes off.

- Well, how about that.

- Look, do you mind if we
have dinner late tonight?

There's a little beauty
shop down around the corner

that stays open pretty late.

And if I hurry, I can make it.

- No, no, no, wait a minute.

What's the big idea?

- To have my hair bleached
platinum blonde, of course.

- Oh.

- If that's the way
you like it, that's

the way I'm going to wear it.
- No, no, no.

Harriet, I don't like
your hair platinum blonde.

I like it just the way it is.

- Oh, you're just saying
that to be nice to me

and save me the trouble.

- No, honestly.

- Well, you just finished raving
about me as a platinum blonde.

And I certainly
think I should wear

my hair the way you like it.
I'll be right back.

- No, no, no, Harriet,
wait a minute.

I guess I'd better tell
you the whole story.

- The whole story?

- Yes.

I knew all along
that this was a wig.

The boys told me
they saw it hanging

on the doorknob of
the upstairs bedroom.

I just told you I like
platinum blonde hair as a gag.

- Oh?

- Now, you won't get your hair
dyed platinum blonde, will you?

Nature knows best, dear.

Your hair looks
beautiful just the way

it is, that radiant
chestnut brown.

- I never intended to bleach it.

- You didn't?

- Who do you
suppose deliberately

left it hanging
upstairs on the doorknob

so the boys would be sure
to see it and tell you?

- Harriet?

- Yes, dear?

- You deceived me.

- It was just a gag.

Besides, I thought you
like platinum blonde.

- Oh, don't be ridiculous.

I'll admit they are alluring,
and exotic, and exciting, and--

Try this thing on
again, will you?

"Even though Rocky Blackheart
had a perfect alibi, somehow,

Rudolph Goodsoul
suspected he was guilty."

Hmm, already read that.

Yeah.

"At times, it was
positively uncanny the way

Rudolph could sense
impending danger.

The way he seemed to have--"

- Ozzie?

- Yes, dear?

- Thorny's here!

- Oh, come on in, Thorny!

- Oh, hiya, Thorny.

Come on in and sit down.

- Thanks.

What's new, Oz?

- Oh, nothing much.

- Heard about the wonderful
gag Harriet pulled on you.

- Yes, and I deserved
it, too, Thorny.

It really taught me a
very valuable lesson.

- Yeah?

What's that?

- Well, from now on, I'm
going to be more observant.

I mean, a man should be more
observant about his wife,

about what she wears, the
way she does her hair,

the little things.

- You're going to be more
observant from now on, hmm?

- Yeah, I really am, Thorny.

I mean, I've always been
more or less concerned

with other things,
but from now on, I'm

going to make it a point to
notice every little detail,

no matter how tall it may be.

- A regular eagle eye, hmm?

- Yeah.

- Well, if you're
so observant now,

how come you haven't said
anything about my appearance?

I thought it was kind of funny.

- Well, to be honest
with you, Thorny,

I wasn't sure it was
intended as a gag.

- Why else would I
wear a thing like this?

- Well, gee, I don't know.

You usually do wear pretty
loud-looking neckties.

- OK, Oz, I'll see you later.

- That was one of Rudolph's
most disarming characteristics.

People were constantly
underestimating him,

mistaking his sly,
crafty, subtle sense

of humor for boyish naivety
or even plain stupidity.

- Barbara was played
by Barbara Eiler.

The part of Pierre was
played by Fritz Feld.

Clara was Florence Late.

Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

will be brought to you by
Prophylactic toothbrushes,

Listerine Tooth Paste, and
Listerine, the most widely

used antiseptic in the world.