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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,845 --> 00:00:13,913 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells Exclusive for http://UKsubtitles.ru 2 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:30,124 The Palomino is now the property of Adolf Hitler. 3 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:34,803 From now on, the entertainment must comply with his standards. 4 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,288 Enjoy your evening. 5 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,243 And once they pulled the last piece of shrapnel out of my buttocks 6 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,808 I was well and truly certain our marriage was over. 7 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,526 Marriage is a waste of time, if you ask me. 8 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,722 Well, I wouldn't be so sure about that, Tucker. 9 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:23,847 Once the war blows over, one might not know what to do with oneself. 10 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,042 Well, that's what I think anyway. 11 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,447 Sounds like you've thought about it long and hard. 12 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,722 Do you ever want to settle down, Jackson? 13 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,969 Thanks, Pierre, but you're not my type. 14 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,771 Everybody put your trousers on, orders are in. 15 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:52,409 Over the last several days, Allied forces across Europe have been defecting to the Nazis. 16 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,364 What do you mean, defecting? 17 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,125 Troops have been spontaneously going Kraut without warning. 18 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,403 Field Marshal Jenkins' entire platoon has recently gone Nazi. 19 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,171 Jenkins has a whole lot of classified information in his head 20 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,681 we don't want the Nazis to get their hands on. 21 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:09,451 Your mission is to get Jenkins back onto home soil, 22 00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:13,122 find out what's making our men defect to the Nazis, and kill Hitler! 23 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,524 Enter. 24 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,529 You Jenkins? 25 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:25,810 Oh, that'd be right. Send in the Americans to get me. That's their answer to everything. 26 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,002 - We're not all American. - Heavens be praised. 27 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,568 You're not all going to try and fit in here, are you? It's already dreadfully stuffy. 28 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:35,128 - Fine. llsa, let's go get a drink. - Another Orange Kennedy for me. 29 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,288 I need all the spirit I can get. 30 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:41,485 A night at the Palomino really takes it out of you, if you know what I mean! 31 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,767 Hey, Heini, I just came back from ze bar. 32 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,726 It's packed with posh folk returning from a weekend at the Swiss place. 33 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,922 I bet they're loaded with swag. 34 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,849 Didn't you get enough at the whorehouse? 35 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,931 Don't take that tone with me. You know I can never have enough jewels. 36 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,285 Hey... 37 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:08,885 Be careful. 38 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:16,609 - So, your men just turned? - Precisely, my dear. Damnedest thing. 39 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,531 Some of my most loyal boys just started babbling German 40 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,165 and tried to knock me off. 41 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:22,964 Nothing unusual had happened to them? 42 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,528 Not that I caught wind of. They'd just come back from R and R in Switzerland. 43 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,202 - It's like they were possessed by Hitler. - Precisely, meine Liebe. 44 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,528 - Hm? - What did you just say? 45 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,162 Hey llsa, here's your Cherry Fiasco. 46 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,129 Nobody move! 47 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,963 - We have to move quickly. - Just go while he's asleep. 48 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:54,650 I can free myself. 49 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,524 I won't leave without you, little sister. 50 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:58,370 Just go, I'll be right after you! 51 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:40,971 - What did you just say, Jenkins? - I don't know what you mean. 52 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,407 What's got into you, Jenkins? 53 00:04:56,200 --> 00:05:00,171 Any movement and I will paint the walls with your blood. 54 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,323 Reinhard, you old showman. 55 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,045 Your jewels now! 56 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:06,081 Hey! 57 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:11,329 - Danke, danke. - Zat was great! 58 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,520 Don't do it, Jenkins. 59 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,770 Put it there, old man. 60 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,566 Capital job you did there knocking off that Kraut. 61 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,081 Shot him dead you did, some would say. 62 00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:45,805 Hey, that's our job. 63 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,128 Name's Petersen. British Intelligence. 64 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:49,890 Just on my way home 65 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,243 from rounding up a bunch of Jerry spies in Switzerland. 66 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,569 What say you come back to my cabin for a belt of real whisky? 67 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,922 None of the rubbish they serve here. 68 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,805 - I appreciate the offer, but I... - It's Johnny Cockerel. 69 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,369 - Mmmm... - Much obliged. 70 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,888 I'm just in the next carriage. 71 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,928 I have booked out the entire carriage, 72 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,168 so we are guaranteed not to be disturbed. 73 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:42,691 Take a seat. 74 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,761 Hey! 75 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,491 Please, don't shoot. 76 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,047 - What are you, German? - No, I am Swiss. 77 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,090 My name is Gwendoline. 78 00:06:57,280 --> 00:07:00,363 Please, you must help me. The Nazis have kidnapped me. 79 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:05,726 If they find me they will kill me. They... they killed my sister! 80 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,810 Thank you. You are very kind. 81 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,844 First things first. Let's find the other two. 82 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,884 - Other two? - One of them looks American, the other looks volatile. 83 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:20,050 I saw them going into the other carriage with the Nazi! 84 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,561 If you don't shoot me, I'll show you. 85 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,725 What last carriage? 86 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:05,967 Zey killed Heydrich! 87 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,684 Allow me to solve your problem. 88 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:18,481 Mein Führer! 89 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,802 Turns out Gwendoline was spot on. 90 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,241 The Nazis have replaced all the girls with... 91 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,729 blonde bombshells. 92 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,680 Why did I have to dress like this, again? 93 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,008 You don't look enough like a Nazi, Pierre. 94 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,971 Are you saying I make a better woman than a Nazi? 95 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,889 Just relax and go with the flow. 96 00:08:56,080 --> 00:09:00,324 You and Gwendoline go and work some of the clientele in the beer garden. Look out for anything suspicious. 97 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,205 We're going to talk to management. Over and out. 98 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:11,361 - Are you laughing at me, my friend? - I think you look very fetching. 99 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:16,290 There doesn't seem to be anything suspicious going on out here. 100 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,450 Time for a drink, then. Cuervo, my man! 101 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:23,850 - Two Lemon San Diegos, please! - Lemon San Diegos? 102 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,691 I don't believe I've tried those before. 103 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,321 Trust me, you'll love it. 104 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:39,811 I wanted that shit done today! 105 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,127 - Who's in charge here? - Who's asking? 106 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,721 Sturmbannführer Berger. I have a new delivery. 107 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,421 She was supposed to arrive with the others. There was a mix-up. 108 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,683 - And the Führer requests a full progress report. - Progress report? 109 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,247 Boys, check out the merchandise. 110 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,687 This is not protocol! 111 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,884 It is around here. Administration has to test the product. 112 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,329 Quality control, Berger. 113 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:07,411 - Go on, have a taste. - Get your hands off her. 114 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,891 What's the matter, Berger? You a fruit or something? 115 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,765 You're going to blow our cover. It's okay, I can handle myself. 116 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,571 That's the spirit, Berger. 117 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,001 - Okay boys, be gentle. - Gentle? 118 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,485 Molesting a lady of the Third Reich is tantamount 119 00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:28,842 to fiddling with the Führer himself. 120 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:32,408 A crime punishable by only the worst kinds of death. 121 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,171 Now where's the report? 122 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,811 As my father lay there dying in my arms 123 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,646 he looked into my eyes and said 124 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:47,370 "Pierre, never use canned olives in a Vodka Marconi." 125 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:50,962 Then he died. 126 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,526 What? 127 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:59,327 Oh, you think that really works, do you? 128 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:00,931 What really works? 129 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,126 Oh, please! 130 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,328 It is a true story! 131 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,251 You don't have to try that stuff on me. 132 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,962 Progress report! 133 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,083 Uh, yes, the girls so far have been... 134 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:23,081 Oh, no! The Swiss! 135 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,405 Who are you? 136 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,521 Uh, can we come to some sort of arrangement? 137 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,250 Who are you? 138 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,649 - Would you care for a cigarette? - What are they? 139 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:03,686 - Gute Nacht After Dinner Specials. - I haven't had dinner yet. 140 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,441 I'm your last meal. 141 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,725 Get your fascist mouth away from me! 142 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:14,843 - You hit a woman! - I hit a Nazi. 143 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,570 Good morning, meine Liebe. 144 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:31,650 I am Conrad Turbo... Grrrrr! 145 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,490 Fist machine! 146 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,761 You disgust me. 147 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,289 Mess him up, Berger! 148 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,966 We have arrived at the Palomino, sir. 149 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:24,243 You stay here. I am not walking home. 150 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:42,084 Oh God, it's the Swiss. What do zey want? More money? 151 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,004 Mmmmm... Ahhhh... 152 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,603 Ugh... 153 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,442 What is it? 154 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,009 That's ze man, ze man that killed my sister. 155 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,446 How about a dance, gumdrop? 156 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:34,931 For two hundred dollars, you get a whole lot more than a dance. 157 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:38,408 But you have to take both of us. Package deal. 158 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,045 Whatever. 159 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:41,685 Come on. 160 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,484 This Palomino must be filled with Nazi hookers. 161 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,331 A horse filled with hookers? 162 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,607 Wait a second, then that blonde must have... 163 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:20,805 No, maybe it didn't work. 164 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,651 You're fine, right? You don't feel like a Nazi? 165 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,527 No, we can fix you. 166 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,164 Yes, you do! 167 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,050 Take a seat. 168 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,362 Now, would you like to... 169 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,288 The gun... l can't reach it from here. 170 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,131 It's not going anywhere. 171 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,490 I say Jones, my sovereign head hasn't been pummelled like that 172 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,011 since the Blitz. 173 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,009 That slice of crumpet certainly blabbed 174 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,964 an unnerving amount of German, though. 175 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,770 Urgh!! 176 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,364 This is for my sister. 177 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,362 Rate of Infection? 178 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:07,964 Doldinger Castle. 179 00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:11,406 Ha! 180 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,844 All the girls in this place have a Nazi virus. 181 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,610 That's what makes the troops turn. 182 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:28,964 And it looks like Hitler has set up shop in Doldinger Castle. 183 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:32,164 Well, this certainly has turned into a bit of a chicken hot-pot. 184 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:35,011 I say we make our leave. 185 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,641 Doldinger Castle. Now! 186 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,130 Hold it! 187 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,083 I have high standards. 188 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,769 Hold it right there, Hitler! 189 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:14,091 - What on earth's wrong with her? - She's got the Nazi bug. 190 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,528 Come on, llsa. Get yourself together! 191 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,404 You can do it, my friend! 192 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,162 Come out, Hitler. It's over. 193 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,767 Gwendoline... don't go. 194 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,407 What can I say? I wish I had met you sooner. 195 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,967 Goodbye, Pierre. 196 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:11,611 Two part crème de cacao, one part vodka, pour over crushed ice. 197 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:15,805 Add milk. Finish with chocolate flakes. 198 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:19,887 Ze perfect Swiss Kiss. 199 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,200 Swiss blood. 200 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:31,481 It's made of money. 201 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,170 I think it counteracts Hitler's magic, 202 00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,169 undoes the Nazi virus. 203 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:36,327 Yeah. 204 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,602 Better bottle that stuff and get it to the Allies. 205 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,723 How do you feel now, llsa? 206 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,171 Bow your head to the king... 207 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:57,604 of biscuits. 208 00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:01,566 King of Biscuits. Premium quality dipping snacks. 209 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:05,128 Made from only the most kingly ingredients. 210 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:10,360 King of Biscuits. The regal way to start your day. 211 00:24:13,172 --> 00:24:24,240 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells Exclusive for http://UKsubtitles.ru 212 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,966 Major allied cities have come under attack from Nazi monsters. 213 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,481 No conventional weapons can stop them. 214 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:57,762 Allied Command was ready to surrender, 215 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,247 until they received a telegram from this man. 216 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:01,541 He calls himself Gibraltar 217 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,246 and he claims to be from the lost city of Atlantis. 218 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,283 The Atlanteans have developed a weapon 219 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:07,970 that can stop the Nazi monsters. 220 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,528 All they need is some of our refined uranium to power it. 221 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,563 Use this weapon to destroy the monsters, 222 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,560 and, for the love of God, damn well kill Hitler! 16384

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