All language subtitles for Cheers.S09E20.1080p.Amazon.WEB-DL.DD+.2.0.H.264-TrollHD_track3_[eng]

Cheers is filmed
Before a live studio audience.

Another beer, sam.
Put it on my tab.

Actually, paul,
We don't run tabs here.

What do you mean you
Don't run tabs here?

Norm peterson has
A tab the size
Of his pants.

Well, that's norm.

Well, this is paul.

Norm doesn't have much
In life except cheers.

What about me?
I'm unemployed.

I don't like
My wife.

You're putting me
In a tough spot here.

I'm sorry, sam.
I really want a tab.

Yeah, I want a tab, too.

Hey, you guys are
Getting tabs?

Hey, everybody,
We're all
Getting tabs!

No, you're not.
Put that back.

Paul, you see--

I'm sitting here
Till I get a tab.

What are you talking
About? Paul doesn't
Have a tab here?

Please, this is one
Of our most loyal
Customers for years.

If anyone deserves a
Tab in this joint,
It's paul.

All right.
We'll run a tab for paul.

Hey, thanks, norm.

Can I have a beer,
Please, sam?

Why don't we put it
On paul's tab?

* makin' your way
In the world today *

* takes everything
You've got *

* takin' a break
From all your worries *

* sure would help a lot *

* wouldn't you like
To get away *

* sometimes
You wanna go *

* where everybody
Knows your name *

* and they're always
Glad you came *

* you wanna be
Where you can see *

* our troubles
Are all the same *

* you wanna be *

* where everybody
Knows your name *

* you wanna go
Where people know *

* people are all the same *

* you wanna go *

* where everybody
Knows your name **

Carla, it's the first
Of the month,

Where's my rent check for
The poolroom and bathrooms?

Here you are.
Buy yourself a melon

In case you
Misplace your head.

Thank you.

Tell me, carla,
Clinically speaking,

Are you considered
A dwarf or a midget?

Say, is that
Your head,

Or is your neck
Blowing a bubble?

Somebody phone
The authorities in paris.

A gargoyle has just
Fallen off notre dame

And is now taking
Drink orders.

You know, two heads
Like that would make
A perfectly good butt.

Shrike!

Slattern!
Bullet head!

Hatchet face!

Well, must be off.

Till next month, then.

He's good people.

Hey, carla.

What's the matter,
Eephus?

You served table 3's
Drinks to table 5.

That's a 5?

Yeah,
Can't you read that?

Cliff: that's
Not surprising, woody.

Carla's reaching that age

Where the lens of the cornea
Loses its elasticity.

They say that the eye
Is the first to go.

Keep it up,

And your teeth
Will be first to go.

That was clearly a 3 there,
Eephus.

Get your orders straight.

Good morning.

Rebecca, you got to get
On the phone with
The distributor.

I'm still
Out of vermouth.

I'll do that
This afternoon.

I have to work
On my own plans
This morning.

Your plans for what?

For what I'm gonna do
When I buy your bar.

Oh, those plans, right.

How could
I forget that?

You're not
Taking me seriously,
Are you, sam?

No. No, I'm not.
No, I'm not.

The bar owner.

"Hi. I'm rebecca howe.
Welcome to my bar.

"Gee. We're a little low
On vermouth today.

"Maybe I ought to get
On the phone and order some,

Because after all,
This is my bar."

That is not funny.

I guess to get it,
You'd have to
Be a bar owner

Or out of vermouth,
And I'm both,
So order it.

I'm prepared to make
You a legitimate
Offer on this bar.

I can offer you
$25,000 cash
Right now.

How about
$15,000 in cash

And 10,000
In vermouth!

Sam, I'm serious.

Where are you going to get
That kind of money?

I have a degree.
I'm a businesswoman.

I just spent the
Last 10 years in a
Major corporation.

My daddy's
Giving it to me.

He's just giving it to you?

No, we have
An agreement.

He agreed to give me
The money,

And I agreed
To never come home
And cry so hard

That I throw up
At the dinner table.

This is a bit of
A surprise, isn't it?

Why do you want cheers?

I would think for you
This bar would only have

Negative associations
Connected with it.

Think of
All the heartbreak
You've had here--

The forgotten goals,
The missed opportunities.

Hey, it's called
Atmosphere, babe.

I would think, for you,

This place would have
The stench of failure.

No, that's clavin.

And fyi,
It's not just failure.

Actually, lilith,
I had more productive
Success at cheers

Than I've had
Anyplace else
In my life.

Dear god!

Oh, I'm sorry.

I was thinking
Of something else.

I think
It's a great idea,

You running
A business,

But you got to
Understand something--

This bar is not for sale
At any price.
End of story.

Do you
Really mean that?

Because I'm not gonna
Come to you with
This offer again.

Well, I'll just have
To live with that.

I'll hold it in
My heart

And remember
All the laughter
It brought me.

By the way,
You know,

That vermouth's not
Going to order itself
There, sparky.

Sam!

I'm sorry.
You're right.

I'm not taking you
Seriously here.

I've got
To be supportive.

Tell you what,
I will sell you
This bar.

You will?

Yeah. What would be
A fair price?

We've got liquor,
Glasses, barstools.

Oh, I don't know,
Let's say
$25 million.

Come on, sam.

Oh, don't be
So negative.

Here, I'll show you
How supportive
I can be.

Let's take a collection
Here for rebecca.

I need a tin can.
Here we go.

Hey! Yo! Yo!
There you go.

Ok, let's help rebecca
Pay for this bar!

I tell you what,
I am going to put in
A nickel myself.

Now, can anyone match that?
Anyone?

Ooh, not looking
Good here.

I hope
You're having fun.

Actually, I'm not.
Fund-raising is
Really hard work.

I must be doing something right.
A guy just gave me
A $10 tip

On a $30 bar tab.

That's a single.

Oh, man.

I might as well
Get this over with.

Woody, come with me.
I shouldn't put this off
Any longer.

There you go.
Now you're thinking
There, carla.

Get those eyes
Checked out
Properly.

Forget that.

I'm going to run
The cheapskate over
Like a dog.

It your eyes are in
Such great shape,

How come you took
My car keys
By mistake?

It was no mistake.

You think I want his
Blood and hair on my fender?

I see a starfish.

I think it's
A manta ray.

Showing ink-blots
Again, dr. Crane?

No. We are engaged in
Something far more
Challenging

Than anything
Hermann rorschach
Ever dreamed up.

That's right, wood.

We're trying to
Figure out the five
Hidden pictures

On melville's
Kiddy place mat.

Ok, boys,

Tell you what,
Let's check rebecca's
Tote board here,

Ladies and gentlemen.

All right.

You see her goal here
Of $25 million.

Let's check that against
A grand total of...

Whoo! Two nickels!

All right! Whoo!

Wait a minute!

That confetti just
Cost you a nickel.

Promotion's
Not free.

Your jokes
Are so childish
And moronic.

That's what
Keeps me young, babe.

Man: rebecca!

Oh, harry.
I'm glad you're here.

Sam, this is
My appraiser.

He's going to
Tell me how much
This bar is really worth.

I'll save you some trouble
There, harry.

The bar is worth
$25 million.

I need to work up
The figures,

But everything
Seems to be
In good shape,

Except for
That strange
Floor deformity.

What floor deformity?

There seems to be
A depression here.

It's almost as if

This barstool
Is sinking right
Into the earth.

I wonder what
Could cause that.

Pardon me, pal.

You're standing between me
And my cheez doodles.

You know,
I don't think

That a ground-surface
Irregularity of this nature

Is so strange.

After all, the entire
East coast is sinking.
We all know that.

I mean, due to global warming,
The polar icecaps
Are melting,

And, hey,
We're going to be
All underwater anyway.

That's why I keep
A couple cans of tuna

And an inflatable raft
In the trunk of my car.

Wait a second, I ate that tuna
A couple nights ago.

I better go out
And get some more.

If that flood
Comes tonight,

I'm really
Going to kick myself.

Harry, do you think
You have enough figures

To run the appraisal?

Just one more
Question--

Is that mailman
Going to be
Hanging around?

I don't know.

I'll run the figures
Both ways.

Honey, you're wasting
Your money running
An appraisal like this.

You've only got
One nickel left.

You know what?
You never take anything
I say seriously.

Take this seriously.

I will
Have this bar.

You're right.
I'm sorry.

From now on, I'm going to
Take you seriously.
Good.

This is me taking
Rebecca seriously.

Come on, guys,

Let's all take
Rebecca seriously.

I'm going to be
Very serious now.

This is a very
Serious bar.

I'd like
A very serious beer.

No, I'm serious,
Sam. I'd like one.

You guys are such...

Excuse me, miss.
Is this total right?

Yeah.

What was that?

Nothing.

It was something across
The bridge of your nose
That was horn-rimmed

And a little
Coke-bottlish.

I went to one of those
One-hour joints

And I got
Myself a pair
Of reading glasses.

If I hear one single comment
About ben franklin

Or granny or "Four eyes,"

I will cut out your tongue
And fry it up for lunch.

[giggling]

I don't care.
It's worth a tongue.

Oh, darn.

These glasses
Have a spot on them.

That's better.

Ha ha!

This is so funny.

What are you
Doing, sam?

Faking a letter
From the irs

Saying rebecca
Overpaid her return
Last year

So the government
Now owes her $25 million.

Sam.

Well, it could happen.
Come on, give me a break.

I think your humor
Is expressing

A hidden hostility
Toward rebecca.

Or perhaps deep down
You fear

She is capable of
Taking this bar
From you.

Put a suit on a woman,
She thinks she's god.

Are you going to let him
Talk to me like this?

She's also this way
When the suit
Comes off.

You should see her
Rule the roost in
Her bra and panties.

Well, look--

Hey, it's
A compliment, baby.

Oh, hey,
Listen to this.

"P.S.
Order some vermouth."

Ha ha ha!

Sam.

Yeah?

I've always known
That you felt

My owning the poolrooms
And bathrooms

Was an unwieldy arrangement,

So I've found a solution.

Oh, good. What?

I've agreed to
Sell them to rebecca.

I hope
You can afford
The new rent.

But if you have any
Trouble, maybe you can
Throw a little telethon.

Tell you what.

I'm willing to
Donate a nickel.

Oh, no, no, no.
This is not gonna happen here.

Listen, if you want to
Sell these rooms to somebody,
Sell them to me.

Whatever she offered you,
I'll pay more.

Oh, really?

Why? Wait a minute.
What did she offer you?

I offered him
The $25,000
My father gave me.

Sam, do you have a father?

Hold it. Excuse me.
Wait a minute.

You accepted my deal.
You said yes.

Yes can mean
So many things.

You see what she's
Trying to do here,
Don't you, john?

If she gets a hold
Of those bathrooms
And then the poolroom,

She'll take
The whole bar.
She's gonna ruin me.

I'm all a-tingle.

All right. All right.

How much
Did she offer you?

25,000.

All right.
$25,001.

No, $20.

$25,020.
Let's see you beat that.

$30,000.

I thought we were
Going up in $20.

It seems we have
Two interested parties here.

Perhaps I should
Give it to the one
Who wants it most--

The party who is willing
To go that extra mile.

Oh, dear, I notice
My shoelace is untied.

Oh, give me a break!

You expect one of us
To get down on our hands and
Knees and tie your shoelace

So you can give them
The room?

To hell
With you, mister.

You know, nothing's
Worth that.

Oh, christmas
Is coming early
This year.

Woody, if you see hill,
Give him his keys,
Tell him I finished.

Sam, you didn't wash
His car, did you?

What do you
Take me for?

I detailed every inch
Of it.

Hey, carla.

I heard the guys
Were kidding you about
Your glasses.

But I want you to know
I think it makes you look
A lot more intellectual.

Thanks, woody.

In fact,
They kind of make you
Look like einstein.

Thanks a lot.

If you could just get
Your hair to do what his does--

Actually,
It almost does.

Whoa! Why me?

I have to work
With him.

Oh, boy, miss howe.

When I see a woman
In a hot little black
Dress like that,

All I think of is
Zowie...

And who died?

Sam, I wanted
To thank you
For washing john's car,

Because after he cooks
Dinner for me tonight,

He might want me
To go dancing,

And I want us
To look good.

Aw, that's great.

I send him flowers,
And he takes you dancing.

Jeez! Men!

You know, also you can
Wax john's car

And you can do
His menial tasks,

But I have something
You don't have.

See you later...

Or in the morning.

What does she mean
By that,

She has something
You don't have?

She's got nice hair.
You got nice hair.

She's got nice eyes.
You got nice eyes.

She's got...

Uh-oh, sam.
You're in big trouble.

That was a very nice meal,
Mr. Hill.
Thank you.

I only wish I could have
Cooked it for you.

I didn't want to disturb
You whileyou were
Doing the windows.

Why don't we just sit
Here awhile and enjoy a
Little wine...

Before you
Do the dishes.

You know, john,

I really deserve
That property downstairs
More than sam does.

Well,
Deserving something
And earning it

Are two
Different things.

Well, you know, john,

If you did sell me
The property,

I would be a very
Friendly neighbor,

And I'm sure
We could come to
Some mutual agreement.

Do you know
What I mean,
Don't you?

Oh, I'll clean
That up later.

Don't worry
About that.

We have a real estate
Purchase to consider.

In fact,
Why don't we go
Into the next room?

We can get
Under the sheets
And haggle.

Right now?

I'm ready.

Gee, john, I think
That stain's going
To set in here.

I'm willing to throw
Caution to the wind

And say
I'll risk my carpet.

We really need to
Put something on it.

Very well.
How about us?

Ew!

Oh!

I mean, as enchanting
As that offer is,

I really think
Club soda would
Be more effective.

Oh, you're into
Club soda, are you?

No, not really--

What can that
Possibly mean?

Come to papa, peaches.

Wait. Hold it.
There's a joint right
Around the corner

And they sell these
Carpet-cleaning
Machines.

This hot water
Shoots right
Into the bristles,

And it really cleans
It up fast.

Sounds like fun.

You're fast.

And agile.

[knock on door]

Yes? Come in!

Oh, rebecca.

Rebecca,
Rebecca.

Sam, I'm really glad
To see you.

I'm just glad
I got here in time.

I mean, you see what
He's driving you to,
Don't you?

You're throwing
Yourself at a man

Just to gain
Material things.

You know what
That makes you,
Don't you?

Ahead in the race to get
A poolroom and 2 bathrooms.

Come on, rebecca.

You just stay out
Of this, will you, john?

Honey, go downstairs.
Wipe that makeup off,
Will you?

Tell you what.
Put on a nice dress
Or something.

Maybe call your mom.

Bet it's been a while,
Hasn't it?

Yeah, it has, sam.
It has.

Yeah. Go on.

Actually,
It's been a while
For me, too, sam.

Thanks for spoiling what was
Gonna be a lovely evening.

This certainly
Endears you to me.

I just have
Two words
For you, john--

What's that?
Twins.

Come on in, girls.

Here's johnny!

How do you
Like these,
Johnny boy?

Go ahead
And touch them.
They're real.

Oh, I just
Forgot my--

Who are they?

Uh, this is not
What you think.

We never met
A big hollywood
Producer before.

All right,
It's what you think.

Do you know what
He's doing here?

He's playing us
Against each other.

You're right.
This is disgusting.

You can't make us
Act like this.

You can keep
Those stupid old rooms.

All bets are off.
Come on, let's go.

I'm sorry
You feel that way.

So did sam explain
The part you'll
Be reading for?

Oh, sam, I can't
Believe you could
Sink this low.

You should have
Seen me in my prime.

Sam!

Get out of here,
Will you, hill?

We don't want your type
Around here anymore.
You're bad news.

Bad news.

I just came down
To thank you

For introducing me
To hope and joy, sam.

It's very hard to make friends
In a new town.

The least I can do

Is sell you
The poolroom
And bathrooms.

As I recall,
The last offer
Was $30,000.

Yeah, but I don't
Have $30,000.

How much do you have?
5,000.

I'm sorry, sam.
It's simply out
Of the question.

But wait a minute.
I detailed your car.

Wait a minute,
Sam.

You do have
$30,000.

Oh, wow, rebecca.
You'd do this for me?

I'd do this for us.

A business
Partnership, sam.

We should
Have thought of it
In the first place.

Oh, yeah.
Why didn't we?

Because
You were so busy

Making those stupid
Telethon jokes.

Yeah, I'm going
To miss those.

All right, listen,
Here's her check,
And here's mine.

That makes $30,000.

Well, thank you
Very much.

Enjoy your poolroom.

You should rest well
In the knowledge

That this $30,000
Will pay nicely for
That screen test.

Good news, girls.
We're going to hollywood.

Ew!
Ew!