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1
00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:05,773
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:08,909
Lilith, am I happy
To see you.
3
00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:10,444
And I as ever you.
4
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,246
I was cleaning out my garage,
5
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:16,950
And I was going to toss
A whole bunch of old toys
Into the dumpster.
6
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:21,089
And then I thought,
"Oh, heck, maybe the crane kid
Would like them."
7
00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:23,557
Oh, goody, war toys.
8
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:24,958
Yeah.
9
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,027
Get a load of these,
Huh?
10
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,830
Ah, little tin
Confederate soldiers
11
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,332
So my child
Can have the fun
12
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:34,835
Of reliving the carnage
And agony
Of the civil war.
13
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,003
You bet.
14
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:37,638
My gino once did
A battle of gettysburg
15
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:41,909
Using these and a can
Of tomato bisque soup.
16
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:45,045
Oh, here's a cute
Little dolly.
17
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,314
Yeah. If you run her
Along the bar,
18
00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:50,251
She screams, and sparks
Fly out of her eyes.
19
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,686
Carla, these toys
Are inappropriate.
20
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:55,689
I fear that a child
Who spent his time
Playing with them
21
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:59,527
Would be in grave danger
Of developing severe
Personality disorders,
22
00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:02,230
Possibly bordering
On the psychotic.
23
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:05,032
Wow! Sparkhead!
24
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:06,867
I used to love this
When I was a kid.
25
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,936
Hey, guess who sid
And gladys ran into
The other day?
26
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,037
Hank and marilyn.
27
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:11,172
[imitates car crash]
28
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:14,208
Through
The windshield--aah!
29
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:16,710
Aah! Skidding
On the pavement!
30
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:22,183
See? Do I want my son
To grow up like that?
31
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,491
* sometimes
You wanna go *
32
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:34,262
* where everybody
Knows your name *
33
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:40,368
* and they're always
Glad you came *
34
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:43,371
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
35
00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:45,706
* our troubles
Are all the same *
36
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:50,678
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
37
00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:10,731
Thanks for dropping
Me off, honey.
38
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,166
Oh, sure.
39
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,802
Oh, I tell you guys.
40
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,437
Man...Whoo!
41
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,138
Martha's vineyard is
The sweetest place
On earth.
42
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,673
Bye, sam.
43
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:20,808
Bye, martha.
44
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,450
Let me buy you guys
A round here, huh?
45
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:32,253
You are
In a good mood.
46
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:33,854
I woke up
On the right side
Of her bed.
47
00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:37,925
Frasier: you dog!
48
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,927
I know something that will
Make you feel even better.
49
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,295
What's that?
50
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:42,796
Guess who's taking
Over melville's today.
51
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,732
Me? Wow!
52
00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:45,766
John allen hill,
53
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:48,135
Manhattan's foremost
Restaurateur.
54
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:49,203
And guess who
Made it all happen?
55
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,439
Me? Wow!
56
00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:53,106
No, me. I was talking
To robin's--
57
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,643
Wait, wait, wait.
Does this story have
Anything to do with me?
58
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:56,944
Yes.
59
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:59,280
Wow!
60
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,614
Go on, go on, go on.
61
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,250
When mr. Hill
Makes melville's
62
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,584
The toast
Of boston's
Night life,
63
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:05,786
Our little bar will
Ride right along
With it.
64
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,388
And all because of me.
65
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,223
Wow!
Wow!
Wow!
66
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:13,227
Guys, check this out.
67
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:16,997
Kelly sent me pictures
Of herself all the way
From paris.
68
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:18,299
Wow.
69
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,302
This one's a cutie.
70
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:22,803
Ooh, yeah.
71
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,439
That's her on her bed
In the convent.
72
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:29,677
Looking rather fetching
In an oversized t-shirt
73
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:33,981
Reading, "Je suis
Avec stupide."
74
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,783
Oh, ho ho.
75
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,451
Ooh-la-la.
76
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:40,020
So who do you
Suppose took
Those snapshots?
77
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,889
Probably her roommate
Cindy ann.
78
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,324
I don't know, woody.
79
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,758
There's a thumb
In this picture.
80
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,260
Either it's
A man's thumb
81
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,661
Or little cindy ann
Could use
82
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,863
A big bottle of nair
For christmas.
83
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:55,068
I can't believe it.
84
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,737
This is a man's thumb.
85
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,639
She's having some
Hairy french guy
86
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:02,343
Take sexy pictures
Of her.
87
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,944
All right, well, two can play
At this game.
88
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:05,513
I'm going to have
Some hairy french guy
89
00:04:05,513 --> 00:04:07,615
Take pictures of me.
90
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:17,224
I'm john hill,
Your new upstairs neighbor.
91
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:18,659
Oh, hi.
92
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,128
And you must be
Sam malone.
93
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:22,396
Yeah. How'd you know?
94
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:25,265
My hat check girl
Described your hair.
95
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,834
She didn't
Do it justice.
96
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,603
Ah. Well,
It's kind of a hobby.
97
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,605
The joy
It must bring you.
98
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,877
Well, mr. Malone,
Since we're going
To be neighbors,
99
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,746
I brought a little gift
For your tavern.
100
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:41,882
Oh, look at that.
Hey. All right.
101
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,685
It's a welcome mat
With a duck on it.
Look at that.
102
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:47,988
We never really used
A doormat before.
103
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:49,490
Not counting
Clavin.
104
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:54,294
Do you think
This kind of thing
105
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,430
Goes
In a sports bar?
106
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:58,799
Back in hanover,
Duck hunting
Is considered
107
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,201
One
Of the manliest
Of sports.
108
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,103
We used to do it
All the time.
109
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:05,473
You actually
Shot ducks, woody?
110
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,140
Oh, no. It's
Just an excuse
111
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,642
For the guys
To get together
112
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,344
And drink
Hot cocoa
113
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:14,114
And blow those
Little quacker
Dealies.
114
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:20,020
I had the best one.
I made it out of a
Good n' plenty box.
115
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,655
He's cute.
116
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,425
Does he come with
His own dueling banjo?
117
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:32,933
Well, mr. Malone,
Please make sure
Your patrons use this mat
118
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,403
Before tracking dirt
Up to melville's.
119
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:36,670
Oh, uh...
120
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,372
John,
You know, I--
Listen.
121
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,874
I really
Don't think so.
122
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,075
Oh.
123
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,477
Well, fine.
124
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:46,313
Oh, by the way, I...
125
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,616
I think this will
Amuse you, sam.
126
00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:50,117
In looking
At the property map
127
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:52,786
That came
With my title deed,
128
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,622
It appears that the area
Beyond that hallway
129
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:57,625
Actually belongs to me.
130
00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,560
Oh, no, john,
That's the poolroom,
131
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,028
And those are
Our bathrooms.
132
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,796
No, no, no. Look here.
133
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,131
You see?
134
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:07,200
Apparently,
It was melville's
Old storage basement.
135
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,569
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
136
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,605
Don't get alarmed.
I have no designs on them.
137
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:15,776
I just mentioned it
Because I thought
It was amusing.
138
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:18,879
Yeah, that's--
That's very funny.
139
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,482
Um...
140
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,784
So, do we still
Get to use it?
141
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,453
Of course.
We're neighbors.
142
00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:27,320
Neighbors
Help each other.
143
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,523
Yeah,
Of course they do.
144
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:30,991
You know,
I got an idea.
145
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,826
Why don't you
Let me help you
Put this duck mat
146
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,728
Right down
At the foot
Of the stairs.
147
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,698
Oh, that's very
Thoughtful of you, sam.
148
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:40,033
Oh, um,
One other thing--
149
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:43,471
Our garbage area
Seems to be strewn
With beer cans
150
00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:45,238
That appear to have
Been crushed
151
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,274
Against someone's
Forehead.
152
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,042
I warned you
About that.
153
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,744
Hey, I get crazy.
154
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,883
Don't--don't worry
About it, john.
155
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:57,384
I'll take care
Of that right away.
156
00:06:57,384 --> 00:07:01,154
Also, your red corvette
Seems to be parked
In my space.
157
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:04,625
Oh, no, now, john,
I've always parked
In that space.
158
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,494
Not any longer.
159
00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:08,696
Fine. All right,
I'll move it.
160
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,931
Of course you will.
Heh!
161
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:16,904
You know, I...
162
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,673
I don't know if
I like this guy so much.
163
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,775
He seems kind of snooty.
164
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,944
He's not snooty, sam.
He's sophisticated.
165
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,547
I think this bar
Could benefit from
His kind of class.
166
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:27,715
Aw, come on.
167
00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:29,883
Cheers is classy enough
The way it is.
168
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:43,764
Have you ever seen
So many yuppies
With gold cards?
169
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:46,166
John allen hill
Worked his magic,
170
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,235
And we reap
The benefits.
171
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:50,037
I love these
Charge slips.
172
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:53,406
Lookit here.
They put down
A 5 for a tip.
173
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,509
Now,
All I have to do
174
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:57,144
Is stick a 1
In front of it...
175
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,248
And I got 15.
176
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,851
All right, normie.
You beat me
Fair and square.
177
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:06,587
So, all right,
Let me buy you a beer.
178
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:23,671
Um...
179
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,774
Excuse me.
I was, uh...
180
00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:28,542
I was
Sitting there.
181
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,844
There was no one here
When we came in.
182
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,681
No, I mean
Yesterday.
183
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:38,619
And...Really,
Since the ford
Administration.
184
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:42,823
We're just waiting
For our table
Up at melville's.
185
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,491
So you'll move?
186
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,259
Look, there's lots
Of other stools.
187
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,001
Ahem.
188
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:57,671
Look, uh...
Sounds kind of
Sill--I'm, uh--
189
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,640
I'm norm.
190
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:06,046
I'm jeffrey.
This is hilary.
191
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,148
Nice to meet you.
What do you do, norm?
192
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,583
I sit there.
193
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:15,623
Well, it's nice
Meeting you.
194
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,190
Ahem.
195
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:20,327
Ahem.
196
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,329
Look, uh...
197
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,565
This is...
This is...
198
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,767
We're running
Out of time here.
199
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,035
He's already
Two stages
200
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:29,536
Beyond anything
I've seen before.
201
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:30,871
So I think you better
Give him the stool.
202
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:33,340
I'm sorry.
We're sitting here.
203
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,710
Norm! Norm!
204
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:52,926
Uh, what's all
The commotion about?
205
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,362
Who cares?
Set 'em up, wood.
206
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,965
[telephone rings]
207
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:02,135
Cheers.
208
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,837
Ok. Just a second.
209
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,405
Armstrong.
Party of four.
210
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:06,640
Your table is ready.
211
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:07,808
Have our drinks
Sent upstairs.
212
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,442
We'll pay for them
Up there.
213
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,811
Excuse me?
214
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:13,180
Young man,
Could you call upstairs
215
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,581
And tell them that
We're waiting down
In the lounge
216
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:16,416
Until our
Table's ready?
217
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:17,885
Sure.
218
00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:20,587
No, woody, no.
This is not
Melville's lounge.
219
00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:22,089
I got to go talk
To this hill guy.
220
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,557
This is getting
Out of hand.
221
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:25,726
This is my bar,
222
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:29,229
Not his stupid
Yuppie lounge.
223
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:33,667
I think sam's
Overreacting just
A bit, don't you?
224
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,102
Ciao, gang.
225
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:37,004
Bradley!
Bradley!
Bradley!
226
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:45,345
Times, they are
A-changin',
Mr. Peterson.
227
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:49,182
Hey, norm, norm, norm, norm,
Give me your coat and tie,
Will you?
228
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:52,853
I forgot about
Their stupid dress code.
229
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,723
Woody. You sent up
A party of eight
230
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:58,291
Without calling ahead.
231
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:00,460
Where is my brain?
232
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:03,030
Oh, man, this is
Going too far.
233
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:05,132
Sam, sam, sam,
Stop. Relax.
234
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:07,100
Listen. Don't let your anger
Get the better of you.
235
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,969
It's the worst thing
You can do
236
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,603
In a business situation.
237
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,973
Well, maybe
You're right.
I don't know. It just--
238
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:14,742
It seems to me like
He's turning our bar
239
00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:18,445
Into...Into something
Diane would have liked.
240
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:22,615
All right, sam.
241
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:23,650
You hold him,
I'll hit him.
242
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,018
No...
243
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:31,691
You were right
The first time.
Thanks, man.
244
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,827
Listen. I'll just go
Talk to him. Here.
245
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:36,196
Say, mr. Hill--john.
246
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,898
Could I have
A little chat
With you?
247
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,332
Oh, certainly,
Mr. Malone.
248
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,770
John, I'm...
249
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,337
I'm feeling
A little uncomfortable
250
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:47,607
With you delegating
New responsibilities
251
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,509
To my employees.
252
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:51,611
I understand
Completely.
253
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:52,913
Oh, good.
So it'll stop.
254
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:56,950
No. I think I deserve
A little leeway.
255
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:59,552
After all, I am allowing you
To use that poolroom
256
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:00,754
As well as both washrooms.
257
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,322
Oh, no, no. No,
Wait a second.
258
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,824
I could just as
Easily say that
I'm allowing you
259
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,358
And your customers
To use my stairs.
260
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:06,493
I mean, look.
261
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,495
There go two
Of your customers
Up my stairs.
262
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:11,799
Yes, and there go two
Of your customers
Into my washroom.
263
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,333
Yeah? Well, look.
264
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:16,804
There go three more
Of your customers
Up my stairs.
265
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:19,139
Sam, I'm sensing
Hostility here,
266
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:23,710
And, frankly,
It hurts me.
267
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:24,945
Especially since
I came down
268
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,780
To do you a favor.
269
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,282
Oh. I'm...
Well, I'm sorry.
270
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,517
What's that?
271
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:31,985
I wanted to give you
The number of
The impound lot
272
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,321
Where your automobile
Has been towed.
273
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:35,655
What?
274
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:36,990
Well, you parked
In my space again,
275
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,659
And I had to have it
Taken away.
276
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:42,162
You towed my 'vette?
277
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:43,396
Sam.
278
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:44,998
Sam.
279
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:46,900
He towed my 'vette.
280
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,371
Well, all right.
281
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:54,541
All right. I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to ask you
282
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:55,775
And your customers
283
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,978
To no longer
Use my stairs.
284
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,546
Don't you think that's
A little drastic?
285
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,581
No, I don't.
I think it's quite fair.
286
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,851
I mean,
It's not like I'm
Scratching their chrome
287
00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:05,218
With a giant metal hook.
288
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:11,158
Very well.
289
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,293
Everyone. May I
Have your attention?
290
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,163
Melville's patrons
Are no longer
Welcome here.
291
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,898
Would you please
Join me upstairs
292
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,799
For a complimentary
Cocktail?
293
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,403
No. Whoa, whoa.
294
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,905
Not you, norm.
295
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,141
Carla. Carla,
Bring me one down.
296
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,878
Hey, carla,
Get out of line.
297
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:37,217
Well, I think
I handled that quite well.
298
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,452
Nobody messes
With sam malone,
299
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:44,191
Least of all some
Hairless king of the snobs.
300
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,393
Wow, that was
A real shot at you
From out of nowhere,
301
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:47,861
Huh, dr. Crane?
302
00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:58,605
Here we go.
303
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,440
Well,
Congratulations, sammy.
304
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,809
It's been a whole week
Since you gave hill the boot,
305
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,644
And he hasn't
Retaliated at all
306
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:05,845
Ha ha ha!
307
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,314
Oh, yeah.
308
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,516
I know guys like that,
They're all the same.
309
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,751
You call their bluff,
310
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,353
Pretty soon
They crumble.
311
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,171
Can you believe
The nerve of that guy,
312
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:32,805
Putting up a wall
Like this?
313
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,575
You know,
The constitution guarantees
Us certain rights,
314
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:37,577
Among those the right
To go to the bathroom
315
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,279
And the right to play pool!
316
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:40,480
Way to tell him off,
Sammy.
317
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,881
Actually,
They wouldn't let me in
318
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:42,882
Because I wasn't
Wearing a jacket.
319
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,852
But he can hear me!
320
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,420
Sam, calm down.
321
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,622
I'm calm. I'm calm.
I mean, it's just that,
322
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,358
According
To his lawyer,
323
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,460
That horse's ass
Is not gonna take down
That brick wall
324
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:56,696
Until I pay rent
On the poolroom.
325
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:59,699
Ooh, ooh.
Look what I did.
326
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:02,802
I stole
All his dinner mints.
327
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:05,138
I know, I know, I know.
I shouldn't have done it.
328
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,974
I just let him
Get to me just a touch.
329
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:09,576
It won't happen again.
Swear to god. Ha ha!
330
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:13,280
10 bucks says
He goes ballistic
By midnight.
331
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,482
I got 10
That says 11:00.
332
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,717
I'll, uh,
I'll take 9:30.
333
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,186
Frase, you want in?
334
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:20,453
Well, I don't think
That would be fair.
335
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:23,090
I mean, I am a professional
Psychiatrist.
336
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:25,125
Then again it might
Give me the edge I need.
337
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:28,195
I say by 8:15, he'll be
Spitting up blood.
338
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,635
Dr. Crane?
339
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,470
I need your help.
340
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,472
I've been
Walking the streets,
341
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,074
Pulling at my hair,
342
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,909
Bumping into things,
343
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:44,677
Talking to myself.
344
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,379
So what's new,
Woody?
345
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,882
Well, it's kelly.
346
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:51,084
I can't stop thinking
347
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:55,288
About her and that man
With the thumb.
348
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,191
Woody, you've created
This whole scenario
349
00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,659
Based on--on what?
350
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:02,462
A snapshot
Of an innocent girl
In a t-shirt.
351
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,797
If you want to straighten
Things out, why don't you
Just call her
352
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:07,167
And talk to her?
353
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:10,037
Maybe you're right.
354
00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:13,606
Maybe if I just
Talk to her, it could clear
This whole thing up.
355
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:14,774
But so help me, god,
356
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:19,412
If a man
With a thumb answers...
357
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,447
Hold on.
358
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,615
It's him.
It's the thumb guy.
359
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,284
And you know
What that pervert said to me?
360
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:27,154
"Allo." what does that
Mean in english?
361
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,456
Wait, I know it.
I took some french
In high school.
362
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:32,292
I think allo. Allo
Means...
363
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,294
"I've got
Your girlfriend
In my arms,
364
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,063
"And soon
We'll be naked,
365
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:39,366
You stupid cuckold."
366
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:40,833
That's funny, norm,
367
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,069
Because I thought
It meant...
368
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,536
"I've got your
Girlfriend in my arms,
369
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:47,240
And we're already naked,
You stupid cuckold."
370
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,777
Oh, for god's sake,
Stop hectoring
The poor lad.
371
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,045
Woody,
It simply means...
372
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:54,181
That "I enjoyed
Your girlfriend."
373
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,192
All right, listen,
Monsieur thumb, you think
You got problems--
374
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,826
Woody, woody, stop.
We were just joking.
375
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:09,162
Here,
Let me talk to him.
376
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,131
Bonjour, monsieur.
377
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:13,066
Je suis un ami
De woody.
378
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:14,434
Un petit probleme.
379
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,936
Ma question est
Le photographe de kelly...
380
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,605
Uh-huh.
381
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:21,641
Non. Non.
382
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:25,578
C'est merveilleux.
Merci.
383
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:30,317
Oh, woody. It seems
That there's
A monsignor pilote,
384
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:31,884
A very elderly
French cleric,
385
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,954
Who was the one
That took the photograph
Of your beloved.
386
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:36,756
Oh. Wow.
387
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:37,924
Thank you, dr. Crane.
388
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:40,260
I feel a million
Times better.
389
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,494
You know what I'm gonna do?
390
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,396
I'm gonna go
Write kelly
391
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,665
The best darn love letter
She's ever had.
392
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:46,833
There you go.
393
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:52,071
So, uh, some old
French priest, huh?
394
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:55,074
I have no idea.
395
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,244
Apparently woody dialed
The wrong exchange.
396
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,545
Somewhere in belgium,
397
00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:00,813
There's a very
Confused chocolatier.
398
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,955
I'm taking things
Into my own hands here.
399
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,390
I hate that damn wall.
400
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,892
I'm gonna put my bar
Back the way it was.
401
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:15,562
Coming out.
No more bets.
402
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:16,863
Excuse me.
403
00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:18,231
You may want to
Move over here
Just a little bit.
404
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,566
Fellas, you may want
To take note
405
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:21,334
Where you were
The day the wall
Came down.
406
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,119
Is it down yet?
407
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:49,462
Mr. Hill, wait here just
One moment, please. Ok?
408
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,097
Sam.
409
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:52,899
I don't want you
To be mad at me,
410
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:55,735
But I brought mr. Hill here
To settle this whole ugly mess
411
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:56,736
Between the two of you.
412
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,371
Please say
You'll talk to him.
413
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:01,208
Oh, sure. I'd love
To talk to him.
414
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,576
Not with
The sledgehammer.
415
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,912
I wasn't going
To actually hit him with it.
416
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:10,082
I was just gonna drop it
On his foot by mistake.
417
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:11,384
No, sam.
418
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:14,754
Sammy. Just let me
Have it.
419
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,556
Ow!
420
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:17,757
It would've
Worked, sam.
421
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,794
No. I'll just, uh...
422
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,830
I can talk to him.
That's all right.
423
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,131
Mr. Hill.
424
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:26,999
John.
425
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,468
I'm glad
You came back.
426
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:29,969
Sit down
For a second.
427
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:33,406
Things have just
Gotten too far
Out of hand here.
428
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:36,075
I mean, come on.
We're neighbors.
429
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:39,045
We need to learn
To live together.
430
00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:41,214
We need each other.
431
00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:43,049
I don't need you.
432
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:45,184
Oh, god,
You're evil.
433
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:50,457
I can't fight the evil.
434
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:56,463
I--I--I give up,
Mr. Hill.
435
00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:00,667
You know,
The funny thing is,
436
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,735
When I got my bar
Back just recently,
437
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:03,970
I thought,
438
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:06,639
"Hey, sam, you're on top
Of the world here.
439
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:08,808
"Your life's
Finally turning around.
440
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:12,379
You're in charge
Of your own destiny."
441
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,681
But I was wrong.
442
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:17,417
You have my bathrooms,
Mr. Hill.
443
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,218
You hold all the cards.
444
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,453
You're everything.
445
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,322
You're god.
446
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:23,656
I'm nothing.
447
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,793
Here's your rent.
448
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:29,195
I'm sorry, sam.
I was wrong.
449
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:31,130
I don't want
Your money.
450
00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:32,699
You don't?
451
00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:34,166
No. I just want you to make
That speech to me in public
452
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:37,270
Every month
When your rent is due.
453
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,939
No, no.
I was wrong.
You're not god.
454
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:43,042
You're some big,
Petty, mean nothing.
455
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:45,512
I'm gonna give you
Your rent
Every month.
456
00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:47,179
And every month
From here on out,
And I'll tell you,
457
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:48,381
Every time I do,
I'm gonna write
458
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,416
Right down here
On the memo part,
459
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,784
"You're not god."
460
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,252
There, huh?
461
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,187
How do you
Like that?
462
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:57,023
Well, you certainly
Put me in my place.
463
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:03,129
I'll just, uh, take
Your money and go.
464
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:04,664
Yeah. Good.
Good.
465
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,799
Oh, by the way,
When I came in,
466
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:08,668
I noticed they were towing
Your car again.
467
00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:11,170
What for?
I didn't park
In your space.
468
00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:13,506
No, but it was
In a fire lane.
469
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,074
I don't make the rules.
470
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:19,078
I just notify
The authorities
When they're broken.
471
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:21,381
Oh, god!
472
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:23,516
He's making me insane!
473
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,552
I'd say that scream
Makes it official.
474
00:21:25,552 --> 00:21:27,186
Woody,
Who won the pool?
475
00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:30,923
Well...Oh, sam, you aren't
Gonna believe this.
476
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:31,991
The winner of the $200
477
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:34,961
Is our friendly new
Neighbor john a. Hill.
478
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,329
Aah!
479
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:41,501
He gets paid $200
To make me insane?
480
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:42,902
He can't get away
With this.
481
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:44,771
This is not fair.
I'll tell you something.
482
00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:46,573
I'm gonna make him
Take down
That brick wall
483
00:21:46,573 --> 00:21:49,676
Brick by brick
With his own little
Polished fingernails.
484
00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:52,144
I need--
I need to get back.
485
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,279
I need revenge.
486
00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:54,414
Oh, yes, yes.
487
00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:56,148
The mat. The stupid mat.
488
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,450
I've always hated
This mat.
489
00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:59,486
This is the mat
From hell.
490
00:22:02,221 --> 00:22:04,290
Never mind. Never mind.
491
00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:06,158
Where's my sledgehammer?
492
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,027
Yeah.
493
00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:09,962
Die, you stupid duck!
494
00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:14,401
Sam. Sammy.
495
00:22:14,401 --> 00:22:16,035
You're not making
A dent in it.
496
00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:18,371
Oh, yeah?
Watch this.
497
00:22:18,371 --> 00:22:20,306
[giggling]
498
00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:22,442
Burn, donald, burn.
499
00:22:25,545 --> 00:22:28,448
It won't burn.
500
00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:31,751
Say, this is
A pretty good mat,
Isn't it?
501
00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:37,890
I know
What I'm gonna do.
502
00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:40,693
I'm gonna take this home
For myself.
503
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:43,262
I'm gonna bring back
One of those cheap ones,
504
00:22:43,262 --> 00:22:45,665
The kind that wear out
All the time.
505
00:22:45,665 --> 00:22:47,934
And then he'll have to
Replace it himself,
506
00:22:47,934 --> 00:22:48,901
Every month.
507
00:22:48,901 --> 00:22:50,169
Ha ha ha!
508
00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:51,704
I win!
35542
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