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1
00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:04,172
"Cheers" is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:05,639
[indistinct chatter]
3
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:06,974
Anybody seen my gum?
4
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,242
I left it around
Here somewhere.
5
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:09,877
What'd you take
Your gum out for?
6
00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:12,246
Ah, give my mouth
A rest. You know.
7
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:15,716
"Dear diary,
8
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,785
Today it finally
Happened."
9
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,823
Wood, can I have
Another--ah...
10
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,026
Cliff, I think
I found your gum.
11
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:29,630
Shoot. This is a new
Jacket, too, man.
12
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,432
Well, norm, if you don't mind,
I suggest that you ice it,
13
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:34,568
Then try to scrape the bulk
Of it off with a razor blade,
14
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:36,170
And maybe that way
You can save it.
15
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,471
Oh, no, that's ok, frase.
16
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:41,775
I was about to get
A new piece anyway.
17
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:44,612
Sounds like a lot
Of work, frasier.
I don't know.
18
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,880
Well, alternatively,
You could wait several years
19
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:48,482
For the resins
To break down,
20
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:51,119
The gum to harden
And fall off by itself.
21
00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:01,862
I seem to have my
Full range of movement.
22
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,364
I can wait.
23
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:22,015
* making your way
In the world today *
24
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:22,916
* takes everything
You've got *
25
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:23,551
* taking a break
From all your worries *
26
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:24,318
* sure would help a lot
27
00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:25,119
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
28
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,257
* sometimes
You want to go *
29
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:34,362
* where everybody
Knows your name *
30
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:38,799
* and they're always
Glad you came *
31
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:41,502
* you want to be
Where you can see *
32
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,837
* our troubles
Are all the same *
33
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:49,310
* you want to be where
Everybody knows your name *
34
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:51,979
* you want to go
Where people know *
35
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:54,382
* people are all the same
36
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:55,683
* you want to go
37
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:59,153
* where everybody
Knows your name *
38
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:20,674
Whoo! Boy, did it just
Get warm in here?
39
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,310
I hate indian summers.
40
00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:24,412
I never know what to wear
To work in the morning.
41
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:27,215
If it's going to get cold,
It should stay cold.
42
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:30,784
But then, who am I
To question the lord?
43
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,160
Ha! What's with
The getup?
44
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:41,595
It's indian summer, sam.
45
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:44,332
I need these clothes
For protection.
46
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:45,733
Protection
From what?
47
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:48,436
The eyes of men.
48
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,137
What are you
Talking about?
49
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,605
Every time
I've conceived a kid,
50
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,441
It's been during
Indian summer.
51
00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,443
It's when I'm at
My most fertile, sammy.
52
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:59,713
I cannot let any man touch me,
Talk to me, or see me,
53
00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:02,716
Or I'll be shooting out kids
Like a pez dispenser.
54
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,454
Oh, come on.
55
00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:10,090
No, sammy, I've gone
Over two years now
56
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,959
Without
Having a kid.
57
00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,093
And that's a record
For me.
58
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,962
I'm not taking
Any chances.
59
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,029
I'm just gonna
Stay home,
60
00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:18,599
Turn off the lights,
Lie down.
61
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:21,469
But the cable man's
Coming over.
62
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:22,936
Sweetheart,
I promise you,
63
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,706
I won't let anybody
Put the moves on you, ok?
64
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,475
Oh, no, you don't
Understand, sammy.
65
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,142
It's not them.
It's me.
66
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,878
When the mercury
Hits 95,
67
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:33,581
I can't
Be responsible
For my actions.
68
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,715
Oh.
69
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,150
Ohh, who is that hunk
Over there,
70
00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:40,988
In the uniform,
With the cute buns?
71
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:44,625
Oh, my god, it's clavin!
72
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,328
Oh, this is--
73
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:50,097
This is worse
Than I thought.
74
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,700
Has he always had
That mustache?
75
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,537
Iced coffee
Will cool me down.
76
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,339
Hey, you guys,
Listen to this.
77
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,173
"Rumor has it
That the reason
78
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,310
"Jillionaire jailbird
Robin colcord
79
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,044
"Gave up his
Fortune and freedom
80
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,313
"Was a mystery femme.
81
00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:06,680
"But so far,
82
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:09,517
Our little
Caged robin
Isn't singing."
83
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:12,019
Boy, that writer
Really paints a picture,
84
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,221
Doesn't he?
85
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,724
You know, I can just picture
Mr. Colcord
86
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,693
Sitting on his
Little perch in a cage,
87
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:22,363
Sharpening his beak
On a cuttlebone.
88
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,565
Woody, woody.
89
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,868
Pecking away
At the little bell
Made of sesame seeds.
90
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,102
Sam!
91
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:32,205
Rebecca, this is
Kind of a rip-off,
Isn't it?
92
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:33,807
They don't even
Mention your name.
93
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:35,676
And don't think
I'm not grateful.
94
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,177
What do you mean?
You could've
Been famous.
95
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:38,712
Yes, someday
I'd like to be famous,
96
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:40,714
But not because
I'm involved with a rich man.
97
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:42,716
I'd like to be known
For some real achievement.
98
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:46,587
Oh, yeah. How's that cure
For leprosy coming along?
99
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,389
You know what I mean.
100
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,724
You know how
The girlfriends
Of rich millionaires
101
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:54,628
Are treated by the press.
Like cheap sluts.
102
00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:57,365
You know, I think
It stems from the envy
That the public feels
103
00:04:57,398 --> 00:05:00,033
Towards people who achieve
A level of notoriety.
104
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:01,969
Well, also the fact that
Most of those women
105
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:05,172
Have posed nude
In popular men's magazines.
106
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,240
But, you know, frankly,
I wouldn't waste my money
107
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:08,742
On publications
Like that.
108
00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,812
I mean, those letters
Are not real.
109
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,749
I just hope
The rag magazines
110
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:18,251
Don't find out that
I am the mystery woman.
111
00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:19,753
Oh, who am I kidding?
112
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,089
Those bloodhounds
Will ferret me out
113
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,492
The first chance
They get.
114
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,894
But at least I have
My dignity.
115
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:30,798
Well, I'm off to change
The blue stuff
In the toilet bowls.
116
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,035
[sigh]
117
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,637
What's the matter, wood?
118
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,507
I don't get
"The far side."
119
00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:44,778
Woody, woody,
Hand it over here.
120
00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:47,715
Come on.
Let's have a look.
121
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:49,917
Ok, wood.
122
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,386
Now, you see here
In the first panel,
123
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,455
Cows are standing
On their hind legs, right?
124
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:57,491
The second panel,
The car goes by,
125
00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,827
They're acting
Like normal cows.
126
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,931
See, the idea here
Is, wood,
127
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:06,834
That, uh, you know,
Cows only act like cows
128
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,803
When we're around.
Other times they
Act like people.
129
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:13,541
Now, does that help
You clear it up
A little bit for you?
130
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,609
I just meant I don't
Get "The far side"
131
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:17,344
In my newspaper
At home, but thanks
132
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,880
For treating me
Like a 1-year-old.
133
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,991
Every time we turn on
Robert vaughn's
"Amazing discoveries,"
134
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,993
We always get
The hair loss episode.
135
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,728
It's like they never
Did any others.
136
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,830
We don't have to watch
An infomercial.
137
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:41,469
We can choose
From any of 16 wonderful
Cable stations here.
138
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:42,836
Tv: at the very least...
139
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:46,474
There's lyle waggoner
Talking about impotence.
140
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:49,076
People trying to whiten
Their yellow teeth.
141
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,611
"Singin' in the rain."
142
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,846
How to buy real estate
With no money down.
143
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,249
Wait, you just passed by one of
The all-time classics, frasier.
144
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:59,352
Put it back on
The yellow teeth one.
145
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:00,688
Tv: just...
146
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:01,889
Wait. Wait.
Go back.
147
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:02,990
There was
A picture of
Robin colcord.
148
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,425
Sources have confirmed
The identity
149
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:06,426
Of colcord's mystery woman.
150
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,529
Oh, god.
They found me out.
151
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,498
Colcord's secret lover
Revealed herself
152
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:11,865
In a press conference today
153
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,767
To be jeanne marie
Beaulieu,
154
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,903
Charge d'affaires
For the french consulate.
155
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,939
Excuse me?
Miss beaulieu
A native parisienne...
156
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,509
I thought robin dumped
That french babe
For you weeks ago.
157
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:22,876
Well, he did.
158
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:24,978
The nerve
Of that cheap slut,
159
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:28,215
Pretending like robin
Turned himself in for her.
160
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,983
Don't worry,
Rebecca.
161
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:33,587
Your friends know
Who the real
Cheap slut is.
162
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:39,660
Thank you, norm.
163
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,028
Now, rebecca,
Don't be upset.
164
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,230
I mean, she's actually
Doing you a favor.
165
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,532
You're off the hook.
166
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:45,899
The press is going
To tear her apart
167
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:49,102
And leave your relationship
With robin unsullied.
168
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,704
I guess you're right.
169
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:52,906
I mean, the only thing
That really does matter
170
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:55,776
Is that I am
Robin's true love.
171
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,044
And it actually
Makes it more romantic
172
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,179
Because we're
The only ones who know.
173
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,548
Yeah, except for us.
174
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,850
I kind of told my mom
In hanover.
175
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,119
You know what I mean.
It's sort of like
176
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:09,289
A secret valentine
Between me and robin.
177
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,058
And us.
And my mom.
178
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:14,361
Woody, who cares if
Your mother knows?
179
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,129
I mean, who is she
Going to tell?
180
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,464
Are you serious?
181
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,967
She has choir practice
Tonight.
182
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,902
Once she gets a cup
Of coffee in her,
183
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,804
Those old biddies
Will bleed it out of her.
184
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:27,608
For a moist crumbcake,
She'll tell anybody
185
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:30,077
Why you never see
Uncle willie and aunt mae
186
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,914
In the same room
At the same time.
187
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,416
Why, uh...
188
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:37,851
Why would
That be, wood?
189
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:41,321
I don't see
Any crumbcake.
190
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:45,793
[telephone rings]
191
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,427
[ring]
192
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:48,996
Cheers.
193
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,231
Oh, hi, mom.
194
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:54,001
It's for me.
195
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,103
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I saw the news.
196
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,205
But don't believe
Everything you see on tv.
197
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:01,942
That french lady, jeanne marie,
Was telling a big whopper.
198
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,912
It was really miss howe
Who was having...
199
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:09,482
You know,
With mr. Colcord.
200
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:10,818
Oh.
201
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:13,987
All right, I'm sorry.
I will.
202
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,759
Where you going,
Wood?
203
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:22,295
I have to go wash
My mouth out with soap.
204
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:24,832
I'm sorry, woody.
205
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,466
Yeah, well,
Maybe next time
206
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:30,003
You'll think about
The consequences
Of your actions.
207
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:39,346
Tv: it looks like
No end to the heat wave
Is in sight.
208
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,281
Today may actually
Break 100.
209
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,650
Oh, man.
210
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:46,519
I better get the crib
Out of the garage.
211
00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:49,222
Hi, everybody.
I brought doughnuts.
212
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,357
Ooh!
Oh!
213
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,159
Gee, I haven't dunked
A doughnut in years.
214
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,927
Wood, give me
Another beer, will you?
215
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,864
Oh, hey. Seen
"The midnight tattler"?
216
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,166
Seems that jeanne marie
217
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,101
Sold her love letters
From robin.
218
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,870
Yeah? Whoo-whee!
219
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:04,672
Look at the legs
On this chick.
220
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,206
Hey, hey. Guys, guys, guys.
221
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,742
Rebecca's standing here.
Try to be more polite.
222
00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:11,211
Oh, uh, I'm sorry.
223
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,714
Thank you very much
For the doughnuts,
Rebecca.
224
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,048
Look at the legs
On this babe!
225
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,084
They continued
On the next page
Or what?
226
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,652
Don't bother, sam.
I've seen the article.
227
00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:21,321
It was just a stupid,
Pitiable act
228
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,723
Of a desperate woman.
229
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:25,125
Those letters
Are not real.
230
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,294
They never are.
231
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,632
Robin did not
Type those letters.
232
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:33,834
I've seen
His typewriter.
233
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,503
He doesn't even
Use that font.
234
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:38,571
[telephone rings]
235
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:40,540
Cheers.
236
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:43,110
Hi, mom.
237
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,377
It's for me.
238
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:47,681
Um, yeah.
239
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,917
Yeah,
I saw the article.
240
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,119
Miss howe says it's
Not even his font.
241
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,221
What?
242
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:57,791
No, mom. Font
Isn't a bad word.
243
00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:00,427
No, it's not. It...
244
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,295
All right. Ok.
245
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:12,906
Thanks a lot,
Miss howe.
246
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:14,975
Hey, sammy, how about
Turning up the sound?
247
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,144
Don't you care
About any of this?
248
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,279
I mean, it's got to be
Bothering you a little bit.
249
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,648
I wouldn't be human
If it didn't bother me
A little bit,
250
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,316
But what does it
Really amount to?
251
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,785
I have robin's love,
252
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:27,154
And she has a couple
Of blurbs in a cheap tabloid.
253
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:30,023
And it's not like she's
Some national celebrity.
254
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:32,325
Join me tonight
With my guests
255
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,393
Michael caine, m.C. Hammer,
256
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,528
And the woman robin colcord
Gave it up for--
257
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:37,630
And I mean really
Gave it up for--
258
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,332
Jeanne marie beaulieu.
259
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,200
Watch her kick it
260
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,569
On the next
"Arsenio hall show."
261
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:43,971
Hey.
262
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:47,040
I'm the one
Who should be kicking it!
263
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:05,692
Hey, this is getting
Very serious.
264
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,795
Thank you for
Your concern, sam.
265
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,097
Do you have any idea
How much that tv costs?
266
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,298
What?
267
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,000
The corporation
Owns this bar for 3 years,
268
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,634
You don't break anything.
269
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,871
I have it 3 weeks,
You yank my television
Off the wall.
270
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,706
I'm sorry. I shouldn't
Have done that.
271
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,842
It's just that I didn't
Expect this thing
With jeanne marie
272
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,510
To go this far.
273
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,678
Before, nobody
Took it seriously,
274
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:28,381
And all of a sudden
She's getting
National attention.
275
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,417
Tonight she's gonna
Be on "Arsenio."
276
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:33,253
Yeah, I know. And thanks
To you, I can't watch it.
277
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,388
Why hasn't robin
Spoken out?
278
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:38,325
I mean, why hasn't
He denied this?
279
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:41,528
What--what if he
Really does love
Jeanne marie?
280
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:43,030
What would I do?
281
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:44,865
What?
Hey, I know.
282
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:47,667
I'll get my landlady
To tape "Arsenio."
283
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,036
No, sam--
284
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,104
No, you're right.
Then I'd be obligated.
285
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:54,207
Sam, you're not
Listening to me.
286
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:55,408
All right,
I'm listening.
What?
287
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,210
I cannot ask him
If he loves jeanne marie
288
00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:58,979
Because then he'll think
That I don't trust him.
289
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:01,348
You don't.
I know, but I should.
290
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,216
But if I ask him,
Do you love jeanne marie
291
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,218
And he says yes, I don't
Think that I could handle that.
292
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:07,387
If I ask if he loves me,
And he said yes,
293
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,222
Then he would know
That I did not trust him.
294
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:11,358
And trusting him is
The one thing that
I really should do
295
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:14,061
Since he gave up
His fortune for me.
296
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:16,063
If he really
Gave it up for me...
297
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:19,466
Which I can never know
Because I can't ask.
298
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:24,437
Let me see if I can
Put this in a nutshell.
299
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:27,540
What?
300
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:31,244
Sam, would you
Ask him for me?
301
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:33,113
No. No, no, I don't
Want to do that.
302
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,414
I've never
Been to prison.
303
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:36,249
Oh, well, it's not
Really a real prison.
304
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:37,918
No, it's like
A minimum security deal.
305
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,252
It's like summer camp,
306
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:43,957
Only robin has to spend
7 to 10 summers there.
307
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:48,395
No, really,
And when you see him,
308
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,898
Don't tell him that
I told you to ask, ok?
309
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:53,133
Make it sound like you
Just dropped by prison,
310
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,870
It was just a real
Casual deal for you...
311
00:13:56,904 --> 00:14:00,707
No. No, rebecca,
I'm sorry.
312
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,475
Ok.
313
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,078
I get it.
314
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:08,115
It's just
That, um...
315
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:11,818
Whenever I think
That robin might
Love jeanne marie,
316
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,353
You know,
317
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:17,624
I just get so
Darn mad, you know?
318
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:20,961
I just feel
Like I could just...
319
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,137
Ok, ok.
320
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:34,407
I guess I can
Swing by the prison...
321
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:37,911
On my way to the
Billiard supply store.
322
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,315
Carla, watch the bar
For me, will you?
323
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,651
I gotta go down
To prison for a minute.
324
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:46,286
Prison?
325
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:49,589
Isn't that where
They keep all
The bad, lonely men?
326
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,391
Huh? Come on, carla.
327
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:54,361
No.
Oh, sammy, take me
With you, please.
328
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,763
Smuggle me in
In your pants.
No.
329
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:59,599
Please. I need
A tattooed man!
330
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:00,367
Please, sammy.
331
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,269
Carla, no!
332
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:21,054
Ah, there he is.
Thanks.
333
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,489
Hey, robin.
334
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,757
Robin. Hey.
335
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,493
Hey, sam. What
Are you doing here?
336
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:30,563
I, uh, I need to talk
To you for a minute.
337
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:31,698
Oh, yeah. Certainly.
338
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,433
Grab a racket.
339
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,268
Oh. Well, all right.
340
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:43,576
I'd stop to talk,
Only I just get 3 hours
A week on the court.
341
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,912
Prison, you know.
342
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,280
Oh, yeah.
343
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:52,085
Excuse me. Sam,
344
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,653
Weren't you
A professional athlete?
345
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:54,954
Well, yeah.
I was a pitcher
346
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:57,057
With the american
League. But...
347
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,626
I never actually
Had to hit anything.
348
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:02,929
I see, so basically
You just did what
This machine is doing.
349
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,631
Yeah,
But my arm got tired.
350
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,899
So, sam, what have you
Got on your mind?
351
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:09,569
I want to talk about
Your ex-girlfriend.
352
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:12,505
Can you be more specific?
353
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:16,909
The one you
Ran around with
Behind rebecca's back.
354
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:19,379
Can you be more specific?
355
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,747
Jeanne marie.
356
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:23,550
Oh. Jeanne marie.
357
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,852
Yes, I do hope her little
Game with the press
358
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:26,853
Isn't troubling rebecca.
359
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,755
Yeah, well...
360
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:31,424
Yeah, it is,
Actually.
361
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,260
You know, this girl
Is running around
362
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,062
Getting exploited
All over the place.
363
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,763
But we all know
That it's rebecca
364
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,665
That deserves
To be exploited.
365
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:41,934
Hey, these things are
Coming pretty fast here.
366
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,103
Can we
Slow them down?
367
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:44,437
Oh, no, if they
Went any slower,
368
00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:46,473
They wouldn't
Remain airborne.
369
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,542
Sam, look, if rebecca
Is really getting
Troubled by this,
370
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:52,011
Why didn't she
Make mention of it to me?
371
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:54,281
Well, I don't know,
Actually.
372
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,116
She tried to
Explain that to me,
373
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,817
But I, uh...
374
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,852
Yes. Enough said. Yeah.
375
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:02,755
Poor rebecca.
376
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:06,159
Her insecurities
Have finally got
The better of her.
377
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,095
Well, perhaps
I should make an end
378
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:09,496
Of jeanne marie's
Little charade
379
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:13,200
And go to the press
And tell them the truth.
380
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:14,667
Do you think
That help her?
381
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,636
Sure. Yeah.
382
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:17,970
Say, is your arm sore?
383
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:19,172
My arm's sore.
What?
384
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:21,141
Right here.
Oh, yes, well,
385
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:24,511
We can take a break.
If you like. Maurice.
386
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,179
Thanks, maurice.
387
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,819
Whoo!
388
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,020
Hey, robin. Excuse me,
389
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,322
Are you through
With the court yet?
390
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:35,755
Yeah, sherman,
It's all yours.
391
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,825
Thanks. Maurice!
392
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:43,363
Hey, I voted
For that guy.
393
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,597
Ha ha!
394
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:15,795
Ok, guys, we got it.
395
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:16,963
I think rebecca
Did us a favor
By breaking that old tv.
396
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:17,897
Yeah, I like this
New tv a lot better
Than the old one.
397
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:18,931
This is the latest
In video technology here.
398
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:19,899
We got dolby sound,
Black matrix, high resolution.
399
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:20,600
Look at that.
It's almost
As if deputy dawg
400
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:21,000
Is right in the room
With you.
401
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:21,067
Yeah.
Yeah.
402
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:22,068
My god.
403
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:22,569
It's another scorcher
Out there.
404
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,503
I am sick and tired
405
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:24,904
Of peeling patients
Off of my leather couch.
406
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,039
I tell you,
The ones in shorts
Scream like banshees
407
00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:30,543
When I get them up fast.
408
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,679
Well, fortunately,
I'm a trained psychiatrist,
409
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:37,184
And I've learned
To tune out cries for help.
410
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:42,088
Say, where's carla?
411
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,423
She asked us to lock
Her in the office
412
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,358
Till the heat wave
Breaks.
413
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:47,059
Oh, for goodness sakes.
414
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:48,695
This has gone on
Long enough.
415
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:51,564
The human female doesn't
Have an estrus cycle.
416
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:53,400
Someone is gonna
Have to tell her
417
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,568
That the weather cannot
Affect human beings
This way.
418
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:58,605
Carla, may I have
A word with you, please?
419
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,707
Oh!
[gasps]
420
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,513
[whimpering] oh, god!
421
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:10,483
How is she, frase?
422
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:13,253
Be afraid.
423
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,788
Be very afraid.
424
00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:20,092
Has anyone seen
An afternoon paper?
425
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:21,594
What are you
Looking for?
426
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,730
Because robin's statement
About me being his true love
427
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,465
Is supposed to be
In the late edition.
428
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,900
I sent woody out for it
Hours ago.
429
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:31,338
You sent woody out there?
It's 100 degrees.
430
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:37,610
I'm sorry, miss howe.
431
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:39,279
I would have
Been here sooner,
432
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:43,450
But I passed out between
The newsstand and here.
433
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:45,852
Woody, my man,
Are you all right?
434
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,520
Yes, he's all right.
435
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,156
Bet I'm on the cover.
436
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:53,192
Heat wave,
Heat wave, heat wave,
437
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:55,562
Children in sprinklers,
Heat wave.
438
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,264
So it's a little warm out.
439
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,566
Grandma?
440
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,635
Is that you,
Grandma?
441
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:04,837
Here.
442
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:08,074
Thank you, grandma.
443
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:10,243
Here it is.
444
00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:11,644
"Millionaire
Robin colcord says
445
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:15,181
That his true love is
Some boston bar manager."
446
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,849
What? That's it?
447
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,718
I thought I was going
To be big news.
448
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:22,422
Such is the transitory
Nature of fame.
449
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:24,657
You have missed
Your moment in the sun.
450
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:27,427
I had 3 hours
In the sun.
451
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,296
Would somebody
Shut him up.
452
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:33,533
This just isn't fair.
453
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,167
Robin gave it up for me.
454
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:36,803
Me, not jeanne marie.
455
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:40,072
Hey, I wouldn't
Worry so much
About jeanne marie.
456
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,674
She's washed up,
Too. Heh heh!
457
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:43,976
Look where
They put her on
"Hollywood squares"--
458
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,412
Center bottom.
Ha ha!
459
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,514
Nobody's gonna
Call on her there.
460
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:51,050
She might as well
Be a gabor.
461
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:54,220
I'll take robin colcord's
Lover to block.
462
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,123
No, no, whoa, whoa.
Come on, guys.
Switch the channel.
463
00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:58,658
I'm trying, sammy.
Put a game on.
464
00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,092
How do you work
This damn remote?
465
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:03,563
Whoa, wait.
You need this one
To work that one.
466
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:08,034
I feel sucked in.
Relax,
Relax.
467
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,236
No, it was my turn, sam.
468
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,704
Everybody in the world
Was supposed to know
469
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:14,206
That I was robin's
Mystery femme.
470
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:15,842
I was supposed
To be famous.
471
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,677
That's not what you
Said before.
472
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,211
You said the only
Thing that mattered
473
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:20,279
Was that robin
Loves you.
474
00:21:20,313 --> 00:21:21,548
Yeah, yeah. Well...
475
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:22,715
That was back
When I thought
476
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:24,584
Jeanne marie
Was gonna be laughed at.
477
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:27,720
I didn't know that
She was gonna become
America's little sweetheart
478
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,221
And I was
Going to become
479
00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:32,725
America's little
Stupid idiot nobody.
480
00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:35,462
Listen,
From the outside,
Fame looks great,
481
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:36,863
But when you
Actually have it,
482
00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:39,165
It's not all that
It's cracked up
To be.
483
00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:40,567
Oh, how would you know?
484
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,336
Well, I had a little bit
Of fame once upon a time.
485
00:21:43,370 --> 00:21:46,339
Oh, yeah, right.
That time you almost
Got hit by that truck.
486
00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:49,576
No. No, no, no.
487
00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:51,778
When I was pitching
For the sox.
488
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,145
Yeah, sure.
489
00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:54,747
Fame has its perks.
490
00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:56,949
You don't have
To stand in line
In restaurants.
491
00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:58,751
That's very nice.
492
00:21:58,785 --> 00:22:01,320
The cops let you slide
On a few traffic tickets.
493
00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:02,922
That's--
That's very nice.
494
00:22:02,955 --> 00:22:05,492
Autographs. That's cool
And all that.
495
00:22:05,525 --> 00:22:07,259
But basically
It's just a hassle.
496
00:22:07,293 --> 00:22:08,327
Really?
497
00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:09,529
Yeah. Sure.
498
00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:11,364
Not being famous
Is 10 times better.
499
00:22:11,398 --> 00:22:12,565
Yeah. Yeah.
Really?
500
00:22:12,599 --> 00:22:14,367
You get treated just
Like everybody else.
501
00:22:14,401 --> 00:22:16,969
You can go
To the supermarket in peace.
502
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:19,238
Nobody crowds around you.
503
00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:23,042
Matter of fact,
They don't pay any
Attention to you at all.
504
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:26,012
They certainly
Don't let you
Cut ahead of them
505
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:29,782
In the 10 items
Or less line.
No, no, no, no.
506
00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:31,918
You have to wait
Behind all the old ladies.
507
00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:34,186
And some of them have
Way beyond 10 items,
508
00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:36,088
'case believe me,
You got all the time
In the world
509
00:22:36,122 --> 00:22:38,758
To count every little can,
Every little loaf of bread.
510
00:22:38,791 --> 00:22:40,560
Sam.
And by the time you get to
The front of the line,
511
00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:43,830
They're only too happy
To cut up your credit cards
512
00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:45,665
Right in front of your face,
'cause you're nothin'!
513
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,066
Sam.
514
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:48,134
Sam.
515
00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:49,502
Are you all right?
516
00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:53,072
I miss it so much,
Rebecca.
517
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:54,306
Ohh.
518
00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:55,708
I know you do.
519
00:22:55,742 --> 00:22:57,844
But we're both
Better off
Without it, sam.
520
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,812
Hey, you remember all
That attention I got
521
00:22:59,846 --> 00:23:03,516
When that truck
Almost hit me?
522
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:07,654
Tv: well, there's no break
In this heat wave.
523
00:23:07,687 --> 00:23:10,356
As a matter of fact,
Tomorrow is going
To be even hotter.
524
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:12,324
Let's look now
At the satellite photo...
525
00:23:12,358 --> 00:23:13,826
[rattling]
526
00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:15,562
Oh, my god!
527
00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:18,097
Clear out, everybody!
She's gonna blow!
38189
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