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1
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:12,234
- Football?
- No, no. Pain. Cleats on face.
2
00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:16,715
- Modern dance?
- No. Lotta girls. Tights. No.
3
00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:20,913
- Drama club?
- No. Lotta guys. Tights. No.
4
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:24,185
- That's the list, Cor.
- None of these are me, Shawn.
5
00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:27,387
I mean, here I am, going into
my eighth year of public education,
6
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:30,624
- and who am I, really?
- You're you. You're Cory Matthews.
7
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,722
Yeah, but there's no
Cory Matthews club on here,
8
00:00:32,799 --> 00:00:35,325
there's no club for ordinary guys
who don't know who they are
9
00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:37,393
- and aren't great at anything.
- So start one.
10
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:41,131
- Oh, I probably wouldn't get in.
- (bell rings)
11
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,336
Cory, you got a lot of good qualities.
12
00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:48,007
- Hey, you're honest, loyal and decent.
- Housebroken, too.
13
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:50,709
I'm a stinking' beagle.
14
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,912
All right, people,
this just off the wire.
15
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:56,354
Elections for next year's eighth-grade
class president will be held next week.
16
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:57,618
(as if sneezing) Who cares?
17
00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:59,682
(as if coughing) Detention!
18
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,250
Sorry!
19
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:04,423
Too many people whine and moan
about the way things run around here.
20
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:07,263
Well, this is a chance to change things
by getting involved.
21
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,029
But remember,
this is a student election...
22
00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:12,732
(students) ...it's not a popularity contest.
23
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:16,333
I think we've been spending
a little too much time together.
24
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:20,404
The point is, your class president doesn't
need to be a quarterback or a cheerleader.
25
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:24,542
You'll be much better off with someone
who's honest, loyal and decent.
26
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,586
- Cory, that's you.
- What?
27
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:28,849
You wanted to know who you were.
You could be president.
28
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- Come on.
- All right, let's have some nominations.
29
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I got somebody good.
I nominate me.
30
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:38,754
Your humility is impressive, Meese,
but someone else has to nominate you.
31
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:43,396
- Topanga, how about it?
- No, go away, and don't look at me.
32
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,463
Come on,
Meese here has the guts to run.
33
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:46,904
Someone should have the guts
to nominate him.
34
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,874
All right, big deal.
I'll nominate him.
35
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,637
What are you doing?
That's your competition.
36
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:53,442
- I'm not running.
- Anybody else?
37
00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:56,676
The great state of Shawn nominates
the people's choice... Cory Matthews.
38
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:57,911
- No!
- No!
39
00:01:57,985 --> 00:02:00,647
He's not gonna settle for
second-rate leadership.
40
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,246
Matthews, you've been nominated.
Do you accept?
41
00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:04,381
- No way.
- No way would he turn down a chance
42
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,324
to serve his fellow students.
43
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:07,724
What are you, his handler?
44
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,489
-Yes, I am.
- No, he's not.
45
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:11,657
Look, I don't know anything
about being president, OK?
46
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:14,326
I wouldn't have a clue.
I'm not somebody special.
47
00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:19,305
I'm just an average guy like all of you,
the simple, hard-working...
48
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:25,710
students who struggle day after day
with too much homework, unfair teachers,
49
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:28,840
and an antiquated justice system
that relies too much on detention.
50
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:32,783
And if elected...
if I win and you guys vote for me...
51
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:39,225
I would say to each and every one of you,
"Hey, thanks!"
52
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:48,163
(Shawn) You got something, man.
You could really win this.
53
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:50,761
Yeah, but Shawn, there are like
400 kids in our grade,
54
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,271
and I don't even know most of them.
55
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:56,207
That's why we have to take your message
from the lunchrooms to the bathrooms,
56
00:02:56,276 --> 00:03:00,270
from the halls to the stalls.
We have to tell everybody who you are!
57
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:03,317
- But I'm not anybody.
- Say it again.
58
00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:06,284
- I'm not anybody.
- That's what they like.
59
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:09,812
You're not some handsome,
smart, popular guy.
60
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:10,914
You're not cool.
61
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,221
- You're not even halfway...
- Hey! I got it.
62
00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:15,387
Thank you.
You're on my side, right?
63
00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,328
There is no other side.
64
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:20,196
I'm gonna put together a campaign
like this school has never seen,
65
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:23,999
an unstoppable tidal wave,
gathering snow, blazing through the sky,
66
00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:26,938
crushing everything in its beak.
67
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,806
You're getting off on this,
aren't you?
68
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,776
I gotta say I am.
69
00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:35,782
This is Cory Matthews'
campaign commercial, directed by me.
70
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:41,845
The following is paid for by Citizens
to Elect Cory, which so far is... just me.
71
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,454
(Shawn) Action!
72
00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:47,118
Cory Matthews...
73
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:48,491
loyal,
74
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:49,927
honest,
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00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:52,021
decent,
76
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,227
a leader who dares to say...
77
00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:57,601
Hey, I'm average.
78
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:01,733
Why, hello there, young lady.
And what do you think of me?
79
00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:04,243
Hi, Cory.
Tell me how you plan to make this school
80
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:08,270
a more effective institution
for the entire student body.
81
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:10,874
Well, that's a very...
Shawn!
82
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,510
(Shawn) Cut!
83
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,987
Topanga, could you please just read
what I wrote out for you?
84
00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:18,286
Yeah, like I'm gonna say,
"Cory's cute and cuddly.
85
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:21,658
That's what's important
to me as a girl."
86
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:24,356
- What?
- This is not how I think.
87
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,661
This is not how any girl thinks.
88
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:28,531
And there's no "m" in "cuddly."
89
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:31,401
Topanga, please,
Shawn knows what he's doing.
90
00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:33,803
- No. No, I don't.
- What?
91
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,137
Really. She's right.
92
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:38,200
I should have been more sensitive
to our female brothers.
93
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,680
Tell you what.
These... these are gone.
94
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,978
I want you to say
whatever you think needs to be said
95
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:46,485
as a human being
who just happens to be female.
96
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:49,454
- Apology accepted.
- Before you start, could you wet your lips?
97
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:52,515
You are so sleazy.
98
00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:54,321
What?
99
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:55,555
What?
100
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,894
(Shawn) OK. The idea here is that you
and your brother share a common bond -
101
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,400
brotherhood.
We want to show that to the voters.
102
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,267
So basically you just want to see me
being an older brother.
103
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:07,432
There you go.
OK, action!
104
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:11,910
- (Eric) Hey, Cor!
- Hey, there, older brother.
105
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,878
You know, Cor,
I was just sitting here thinking,
106
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:16,177
what makes my little brother special?
107
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:19,082
What sets him apart from the other
seventh-grade candidates?
108
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,348
Is it his allergy to scallops?
109
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,411
Eric.
110
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,982
- Is it his Scooby-Doo thermos?
- Where'd you find that?
111
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:30,997
No, I think it's his fuzzy bunny pajamas
with the cottontail.
112
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,328
I haven't worn these for years, I swear.
113
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,698
Boinky, Boinky, Boinky.
Vote for me! Vote for me!
114
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,761
- Boinky, Boinky, Boinky...
- (Shawn) Cut!
115
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,274
Oh! Hey, guys, what you are doing?
116
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,038
- Cut!
- Campaign commercial.
117
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:47,944
- Is this your script?
-No, no, and...
118
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:51,973
"It's morning at Cory's house
and Cory's having pizza for breakfast.
119
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,885
"Yes, Cory does pretty much
whatever he wants.
120
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:58,118
Why? Because his parents are dead."
121
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,856
Shawn wrote it.
122
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:06,661
- Mrs. Matthews, I could lie to you.
- Oh, why stop now?
123
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:10,135
Our research shows that parents
are not thought of as cool,
124
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:14,367
so if we can position Cory as being
"on his own," individual, independent,
125
00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,808
we increase his level of cool.
126
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:20,939
And, Cor, how cool do you feel
about the recent demise of your parents?
127
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:24,006
It's just temporary, Mom.
I mean, as soon as I'm elected,
128
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:29,420
you and Dad will be found living
amongst the bears in the Oregon woods.
129
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:31,480
OK.
130
00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:39,831
Mr. McGruder, I don't care to hear
what your little brother tore up
131
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,527
or what your dog ate.
132
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:46,198
I want your paper on my desk
by first bell tomorrow or else.
133
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:50,107
-You'll give mean F.
- I'll give you a G.
134
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:53,111
As in, "Gee, if I'd just
done my work on time,
135
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:58,208
I wouldn't be the only 40-year-old
in the 7th grade."
136
00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,549
Ta-ta.
137
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:03,749
- He's not human.
- You want him gone?
138
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:07,953
- Can you do that?
- Cory can.
139
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:11,259
If he's elected, Feeny's gone.
140
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,924
You can do that?
141
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:17,766
If that's what you want,
that's what Cory will do.
142
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:20,534
Spread the word.
143
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:25,807
Shawn, I want to win too,
but in what part of your diseased mind
144
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:29,543
does the eighth-grade class president
get to fire the principal?
145
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,812
Cory, come on.
It's just a campaign promise.
146
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,876
It's what you say to get elected.
147
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:37,686
Now, repeat after me.
Give the people what they want.
148
00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:39,088
Yeah, but I...
149
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:42,060
Give the people what they want...
150
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,995
(mumbles) Give the people
what they want.
151
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:48,524
And if teachers get paid for teaching,
then students should get paid for learning.
152
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:49,830
(all) Yeah!
153
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:52,531
And this homework thing...
what is that about?
154
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:54,369
If they can't teach enough
during school hours,
155
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:57,536
- why is that our problem?
- (all) Yeah!
156
00:07:57,610 --> 00:08:02,104
- This guy may be cheesier than we are.
- What do we do?
157
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,844
We break out the heavy cheese.
158
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,183
Let me tell you something, my friends.
159
00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:10,951
How can you believe anything
this guy says?
160
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,651
He's got straight A's.
161
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,820
He's been making you
look dumb for years.
162
00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:19,593
Can you really trust this...
this curve breaker?
163
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,363
- Curve breaker!
- (all) Curve breaker! Curve breaker!
164
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,630
Curve breaker! Curve...!
165
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,967
Talk to 'em, Cory.
Tell 'em what they want to hear.
166
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,007
Curve breaker!
Curve breaker!
167
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:30,406
My fellow students,
168
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:35,347
there are many challenging issues
which currently face John Adams High,
169
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:39,010
issues that seemingly have no solutions...
170
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:45,217
And I say there'd be fewer problems
if we spent less time here.
171
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,919
I mean, what's the deal with this
five-day school week?
172
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:50,759
I don't know about you guys,
but I'm pretty much shot by Wednesday,
173
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,594
so let's end the week there.
174
00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:56,226
If I'm president, Thursdays and Fridays
are part of the weekend.
175
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:57,701
(all) Yeah!
176
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,263
- Mondays are optional.
- Yeah!
177
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:03,537
- Tuesdays, come in prepared to learn.
- Yeah!
178
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,339
We are the future!
179
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:08,074
Hey, you can't make
five-day weekends.
180
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,708
Yeah, well, you can't pay kids
for going to school.
181
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:13,913
- Are you questioning my integrity?
- Yeah, we are.
182
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:19,153
Well, I question yours,
and I have proof. Nobody move.
183
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,956
Shawn, he doesn't have
anything on us, does he?
184
00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:25,794
No, it's a bluff. It's gotta be.
185
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:29,995
Listen, man, a lot of weird stuff
goes on in the trailer park.
186
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:34,170
When do you step in
and teach them the democratic process?
187
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,574
If Matthews wins, Tuesday.
188
00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:41,106
Mr. Turner, all I'm hearing
from your little election
189
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:44,913
are ridiculous promises
and character assassination.
190
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,748
Too much like the real thing, George?
191
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:50,381
Yes, but don't we aspire
for their generation to do better?
192
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,551
Yeah, we do.
But we can't just tell them what to do.
193
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,753
They have to learn for themselves.
194
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,354
So you believe in letting them
make their own mistakes?
195
00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,024
Yeah, I do.
I don't think that's a bad way to go.
196
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,195
Nor I. In fact,
I have that philosophy
197
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,364
toward a certain young teacher
that I know.
198
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,475
What, you mean me?
199
00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:13,702
Voters and voterettes,
200
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,909
this poor, exploited young woman
is named Paula,
201
00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:19,645
and she has a sordid story to tell.
202
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:22,882
Go ahead, Paula.
Tell them what you told me.
203
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:27,325
I was in third grade
with Shawn Hunter.
204
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:32,654
One day, he and I were standing
near the monkey bars, and...
205
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,529
I can't go on.
206
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,734
Go ahead, Paula.
Be strong.
207
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:45,070
Well, Shawn said that...
that all girls...
208
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:48,279
- ...were icky!
- (students gasp)
209
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,646
Oh, God, come on.
I never said that.
210
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:56,053
You wrote it on my notebook.
"All girls are icky."
211
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:58,113
Give me a break.
I was only eight.
212
00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:01,092
I didn't like girls then,
but I love them now.
213
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,562
- So you changed your mind?
- Of course.
214
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,655
- Flip-flop.
- What?
215
00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:08,201
Flip-flop.
He changes his mind about girls.
216
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,930
Who knows what he's gonna
change his mind about next?
217
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,496
- Flip-flopper.
- (students) Flip-flopper! Flip-flopper!
218
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:15,007
- (all) Flip-flopper...
- Wait a minute!
219
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,975
Wait, wait, wait.
Shawn's not even running here.
220
00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:21,309
- But he represents you, doesn't he?
- I sure do.
221
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:24,043
Then Cory, are you prepared
to drop out of the race?
222
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,778
- No.
- Are you prepared to drop
223
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,549
your flip-flopping one-time
sexist campaign manager?
224
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:31,682
All I want is justice.
Shawn has to go.
225
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:34,557
- Shawn must go!
- (students) Shawn must go!
226
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,356
- (all) Shawn must go!
- Wait a minute.
227
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:40,457
Don't you guys want a president who's
loyal to his friends 1000 percent?
228
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,058
(ail) No!
229
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,628
- Really? That's what you guys want?
- (all) Yes!
230
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,072
Then Shawn is out.
231
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,235
Yeah!
232
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,005
(students cheer)
233
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:57,311
How could you do this to me?
234
00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,353
Did you hear them cheer, Shawn?
I think we picked up a lot of girl votes.
235
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,185
You said we were weak on girls.
236
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,883
Cory, you fired me.
237
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:08,622
- Well, yeah, just a little.
- No. No, no, it was all of me.
238
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:11,824
But I had to.
We're in this to win, right?
239
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,366
"We"?
240
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:14,798
"We"?
241
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:16,631
"We"?!
242
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:19,798
- Shawn, you're squealing.
- Yeah, I'm squealing.
243
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:22,136
That's the sound you make
when your best friend takes a gun
244
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:25,269
and stabs you in the back
right in front of your eyes.
245
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:29,543
Look, I just did what you told me to.
I gave the people what they wanted.
246
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:33,382
- Well, I want my campaign back.
- Yeah, since when was it your campaign?
247
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:37,856
Only since I nominated you and told you
what to say every step of the way.
248
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:41,326
You were helpful in the early going,
and I'll never forget that.
249
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,226
You fired me.
250
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:46,129
Shawn, my friend,
this is not a time for bitterness.
251
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,827
This is a time for healing.
252
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:53,700
You know what, Cory Matthews?
If I met you just this minute,
253
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,741
I wouldn't know who you are.
254
00:12:56,909 --> 00:13:00,140
I'm Cory Matthews,
the next president of the eighth grade.
255
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:02,409
Not without me, pal.
256
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:05,874
So how's the campaign?
257
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:11,714
We're just reevaluating,
you know, considering a new direction.
258
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,385
Mm-hmm. And that would be down?
259
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,224
Look, Shawn was just holding me back.
260
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,388
Yeah, you're right.
261
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,158
It's probably a good move
to dump your best friend
262
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,360
for a dopey class election
you're gonna lose anyway.
263
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,402
You know what?
You're jealous, huh?
264
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,301
You're used to being the big man...
265
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:28,602
Mr. Rugby Shirt, Mr. Good Hair,
Mr. Dimples.
266
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:31,144
Oh, stop. Stop.
267
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:33,406
When I'm president,
people are gonna look at you,
268
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:34,776
and you know what they're gonna say?
269
00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:38,750
Who's sitting next to Cory?
Who's that giving Cory the ride home?
270
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,479
Who's the guy with photos
of little Cory
271
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,920
running naked through the sprinkler?
272
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,819
Eric, big deal. I was four.
273
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:48,623
You were 12.
274
00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:52,464
It was refreshing.
275
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:57,131
Cory, it's late.
What are you doing up?
276
00:13:57,203 --> 00:14:01,731
I'm just working on my speech
for tomorrow's debate.
277
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,298
- Hey, Cor?
- Yeah?
278
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:06,778
How are you gonna get'em
10 shoot Baywatch at your school?
279
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,508
- Well, we have a pool.
- No, you don't.
280
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:12,244
Keep reading.
281
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:13,914
Ah.
282
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:16,785
Oh, and a water slide.
Oh, nice touch.
283
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,826
What are you gonna call it?
Raging Promises?
284
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:21,792
Dad, it's just to get elected.
285
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,091
Once I win, then I'll do
the real stuff...
286
00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:27,098
clean up the graffiti,
get better food in the cafeteria,
287
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,032
just be an all-around voice
for the students.
288
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:32,436
That sounds pretty good.
Why don't you put some of that in here?
289
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,940
Because it's boring,
and nobody votes for boring.
290
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:37,305
They want to hear
what you're gonna give 'em.
291
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,312
Even if that's not really
what you're gonna give 'em?
292
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,974
Dad, you don't sound like
you're behind me on this.
293
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,915
Cory, I'm always behind you.
294
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:47,476
I'm just not sure I'm behind
what you're saying here.
295
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,715
I'm just trying to win.
296
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:52,918
- Why is that so important?
- So I can be president.
297
00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:56,121
- Why do you want to be president?
- Because then I'll finally fit in
298
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:58,926
and be the person I want to be.
299
00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:01,126
Who do you want to be?
300
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:04,864
Cory Matthews...
honest, loyal, decent.
301
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:08,766
Honest to the voters,
loyal to your best friend,
302
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:12,709
and decent enough
to kill off your parents.
303
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:22,221
After this morning's debate,
you will return to your homerooms
304
00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:25,485
and cast your votes
for eighth-grade class president.
305
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,588
Now, the candidates.
306
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:31,426
Alvin W. Meese.
307
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:34,091
- (cheering)
- (boys) Alvin! Alvin!
308
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,795
And Cory A. Matthews.
309
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,998
(cheering)
310
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,532
Slim pickings indeed.
311
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:46,843
We will now hear opening statements.
312
00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:49,746
- Slight change of plans.
- You said I could be moderator.
313
00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:52,342
Well, now there's even more to moderate.
314
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:53,408
Oh.
315
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,921
All right. Technically we never
closed the nomination process,
316
00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:59,253
and so, as of just now,
there's a new candidate for president.
317
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:02,056
Oh, good.
Perhaps a serious-minded student
318
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:05,393
appalled by the tawdry level
of the campaign thus far.
319
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,933
- Shawn Hunter.
- (cheers and applause)
320
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,127
I quit.
321
00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:12,733
How you doing?
Vote for me. Vote for me.
322
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,672
Shawn, what are you doing?
323
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:19,572
What I should have done in the first place -
run for president myself.
324
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:20,976
Can he do this?
325
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:23,812
Mr. Turner, this is your
little experiment in democracy.
326
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:25,647
- Can he do this?
- I don't see why not.
327
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:29,313
Democracy is always invigorated
by the infusion of fresh, new ideas.
328
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:31,618
Do you have any ideas, Mr. Hunter?
329
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:35,093
Oh, yeah.
Big honking' ones.
330
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:38,629
"Big honking' ones."
331
00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:42,524
So, flip-flopper,
call any girls "icky" lately?
332
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:45,126
Thank you for bringing that up, Alvin.
333
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:48,230
Yes, I... I have made
some mistakes in the past.
334
00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:50,036
I have called some girls icky,
335
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:53,977
but that was a long time ago,
when I had cooties.
336
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:58,950
That's right. That's right.
1, Shawn Hunter, had cooties,
337
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,747
but I fought my way back,
338
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:05,451
and I stand before you today
cootie-free and girl-friendly.
339
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,358
And to prove that,
I'd like to introduce to you
340
00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:11,727
my co-candidate for president...
Paula Kelly.
341
00:17:11,797 --> 00:17:13,492
(boy hoots)
342
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,700
- Aww.
- Can he do this?
343
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,330
- Can he do this?
- I don't see why not.
344
00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:23,706
- Democracy is always--
- Oh, be quiet.
345
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,574
How far are you willing to let this go?
346
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:28,444
I have faith in these students
and the electoral process,
347
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,846
and...
maybe just another minute.
348
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:34,319
Shawn Hunter's only in this race
so he can get back at me for firing him.
349
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,719
And you're only in it
because you didn't know who you were.
350
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:41,022
Well, I know who I am now.
I'm Cory Matthews, man of the people.
351
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:44,688
OK, man of the people,
didn't you lie to the people?
352
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,789
I'm sure I don't know
what you're talking about.
353
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,358
Didn't you make them
outrageous campaign promises
354
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:51,267
you knew you couldn't possibly deliver?
355
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:53,169
Yeah, only 'cause you told me to.
356
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,606
If I told you to jump off a bridge,
would you listen to me?
357
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,667
Yeah, I did that one time.
Don't you remember?
358
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:02,738
How can you vote for a guy
who's dumb enough to jump off a bridge?
359
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,442
It was a miniature golf bridge.
360
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:07,248
He jumped in to get my ball,
and don't call my friend dumb.
361
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,789
Yeah, there's no room in this campaign
for name-calling,
362
00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:12,756
you four-eyed, frog-voiced geek.
363
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:16,184
My mother does not buy my clothes.
364
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:21,556
I resign.
365
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:25,070
- (boy) Hey, nice outfit!
- (cheers and applause)
366
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:27,834
Order. Order!
367
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,341
This has all gone far enough.
368
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:31,570
Go back to your classrooms
and cast your votes
369
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:32,907
for the remaining candidates,
370
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,914
and may God have mercy on your souls.
371
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:36,813
Wait a minute, Mr. Feeny.
372
00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:39,510
Before they vote, shouldn't they
hear what we have to say?
373
00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,178
No.
374
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:44,780
Look, I just want to say
that before this election,
375
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:48,623
I really didn't know who I was
or what was important to me,
376
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:53,564
but now, weeks later,
after looking deeply into my soul,
377
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,295
I still have no idea.
378
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,669
I know less than he knows.
379
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:03,401
Thank you, Mr. Lincoln,
but wait your turn.
380
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:07,106
So I ran for president
to find out who I was,
381
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:09,671
and what I think
I'm finding out is that...
382
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:12,946
I'm not a good candidate
383
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:15,613
or a good friend.
384
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,383
So I withdraw from the race,
385
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:20,756
and I think everyone here
should vote for Shawn.
386
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:24,057
He's really the best friend
you could have.
387
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:27,031
No, I'm not.
I'm worse than you.
388
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:30,102
I made up every lie he told.
389
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:35,938
I've known Cory all my life,
and he really is honest, loyal and decent.
390
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:40,172
That's what you are, Cor.
That's all you need to be.
391
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:44,108
I withdraw from the race, too.
392
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:46,809
Well, Mr. Feeny, we're both out.
393
00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:50,514
Yes, well, I'm sure you'll do well
in the private sector.
394
00:19:50,589 --> 00:19:53,388
Wait a second.
I wanted to be president.
395
00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:56,053
I wanted my life to mean something.
396
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:59,496
- You want to go grab a burger?
- I'm out.
397
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:03,225
Well, Mr. Turner,
your little experiment in democracy
398
00:20:03,302 --> 00:20:06,602
has left the eighth grade
leaderless for next year.
399
00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:10,540
Too bad. I was looking forward
to Matthews' five-day weekend.
400
00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:13,078
OK, folks, that's our show.
Thank you for coming.
401
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:16,274
We now return you
to your regular Friday schedule.
402
00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:19,613
Wait a minute.
Our class needs a leader.
403
00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:25,351
And if we ignore all our problems,
they're not just going to... go away.
404
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:29,486
There's graffiti all over the walls,
and those old social studies books?
405
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,155
When are they gonna replace those?
406
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,255
And how about some better food
in the cafeteria?
407
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:35,926
(cheering)
408
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:39,763
And if elected, I will be a voice
for the entire student body.
409
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:43,036
She's got my vote. You know,
she would make a great president.
410
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:46,636
Yeah, I knew it would all work out.
411
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:50,342
- Do you realize how lucky you are?
- Yes, sir. Very lucky.
412
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,681
What we really need is someone who will
work hard to make small but real changes
413
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:56,085
that will make a meaningful difference
in our daily lives.
414
00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:57,953
Honest, loyal, decent...
415
00:20:58,023 --> 00:21:01,084
- What about a water slide?
- You got it.
416
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,453
- And the power means nothing to her.
- (Topanga) Topanga!
417
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:07,932
(students) Topanga!
Topanga! Topanga! Topanga!
418
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,937
- Topanga! Topanga!
- (chanting continues)
419
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:22,005
Cory seemed pretty quiet during dinner.
420
00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:25,642
Yeah, at least we didn't have to
listen to any campaign promises.
421
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:28,688
Poor little guy. He would have
made such a cute president.
422
00:21:28,754 --> 00:21:30,017
I think he's better off.
423
00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:34,083
- I'm kind of proud of him for dropping out.
- I didn't know he dropped out.
424
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,595
Made a bunch of promises
he couldn't keep,
425
00:21:36,662 --> 00:21:39,029
and it finally caught up to him.
Good lesson to be learned.
426
00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:41,692
You cannot make promises like that.
People remember.
427
00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:45,203
Yeah, like when you promised
to take me to Europe.
428
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:46,970
Exactly.
429
00:21:47,439 --> 00:21:48,998
Do you remember when you said that?
430
00:21:49,074 --> 00:21:51,441
Yes, I do.
I remember we were, um...
431
00:21:51,510 --> 00:21:54,241
- siting at that place...
- That's right.
432
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,748
We were drinking that wine
and eating all those strawberries,
433
00:21:56,816 --> 00:22:01,049
and you said, "Sweetheart, one day
I'm going to take you to Paris, I promise."
434
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,111
And that's a promise I'm gonna keep.
435
00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:05,783
This summer. Paris.
You can book the tickets.
436
00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:08,122
Ohh, Alan.
437
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:10,891
Paris. You and me, babe.
438
00:22:13,566 --> 00:22:17,298
Mom, did Dad really promise
to take you to Paris?
439
00:22:17,369 --> 00:22:21,203
Of course he did... just now.
36229
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