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1
00:00:03,749 --> 00:00:07,492
[rock music]
2
00:00:07,579 --> 00:00:10,582
[both chuckling]
3
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,757
This is gonna be cool.
4
00:00:13,845 --> 00:00:17,326
[chuckling]
We're gonna egg a house.
5
00:00:17,413 --> 00:00:18,937
[chuckling]
- Yeah, it's gonna be cool.
6
00:00:19,024 --> 00:00:20,547
Yeah.
[chuckling]
7
00:00:20,634 --> 00:00:23,245
But, um, like,
which house should we egg?
8
00:00:23,332 --> 00:00:24,856
[indistinct yelling]
9
00:00:24,943 --> 00:00:27,684
Uh, not this one.
10
00:00:27,771 --> 00:00:30,992
Whoever lives here is cool.
[chuckling]
11
00:00:31,079 --> 00:00:33,081
[dog barking]
12
00:00:33,168 --> 00:00:36,215
Yeah, not this one either.
These guys kick ass.
13
00:00:36,302 --> 00:00:37,956
[chuckling]
- They sure do, Beavis.
14
00:00:38,043 --> 00:00:39,044
[chuckling]
15
00:00:41,481 --> 00:00:44,788
Whoa, now,
whoever lives here sucks.
16
00:00:44,876 --> 00:00:47,748
Beavis, I think
we have a winner.
17
00:00:47,835 --> 00:00:50,620
Yeah, yeah,
let's egg it, yeah.
18
00:00:50,707 --> 00:00:53,145
Okay, Beavis,
when I count to three,
19
00:00:53,232 --> 00:00:55,625
let's throw these eggs.
20
00:00:55,712 --> 00:00:57,627
Uh, go.
21
00:00:57,714 --> 00:00:58,715
[both grunting]
22
00:00:58,802 --> 00:01:01,066
[both chuckling]
23
00:01:01,153 --> 00:01:02,981
- Yeah.
- [chuckling]
24
00:01:05,113 --> 00:01:06,636
- [grunts]
- [chuckling]
25
00:01:06,723 --> 00:01:07,855
Damn it.
26
00:01:10,205 --> 00:01:11,772
Ugh, damn it!
[chuckling]
27
00:01:13,992 --> 00:01:15,384
Ah!
28
00:01:15,471 --> 00:01:16,690
Beavis, you dumbass.
29
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,561
You got in the way
of my perfect throw.
30
00:01:18,648 --> 00:01:21,303
[chuckling]
- [grunts]
31
00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:23,262
I'll show you
how it's done, Beavis.
32
00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:25,394
Check this out.
[chuckling]
33
00:01:25,481 --> 00:01:26,395
[grunts]
34
00:01:27,744 --> 00:01:29,572
Ah!
35
00:01:29,659 --> 00:01:31,618
Damn it.
Throwing sucks.
36
00:01:31,705 --> 00:01:32,662
[chuckling]
37
00:01:34,316 --> 00:01:38,407
[humming melody]
38
00:01:38,494 --> 00:01:41,193
♪ I'm in my prime, optimist ♪
39
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:42,846
Butt-Head: Uh, I think
40
00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:44,500
she's supposed to be,
like, Pinocchio,
41
00:01:44,587 --> 00:01:47,155
but when she lies,
her butt grows bigger.
42
00:01:47,242 --> 00:01:48,635
[chuckling]
43
00:01:48,722 --> 00:01:50,376
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
44
00:01:50,463 --> 00:01:52,944
She been doing a whole lot
of lying.
45
00:01:53,031 --> 00:01:55,511
You know what I'm saying?
[chuckling]
46
00:01:55,598 --> 00:01:56,773
♪ ♪
47
00:01:56,860 --> 00:01:58,601
I wish, when I lied,
48
00:01:58,688 --> 00:02:00,560
my schlong would grow bigger
'cause then I'd be like,
49
00:02:00,647 --> 00:02:02,475
"Hey, baby."
[chuckling]
50
00:02:02,562 --> 00:02:05,217
"I have a gigantic schlong."
[chuckling]
51
00:02:05,304 --> 00:02:08,481
And I'd be lying, but then
my schlong would get bigger
52
00:02:08,568 --> 00:02:10,526
because I'm lying, see?
53
00:02:10,613 --> 00:02:12,137
And then it would be true, though,
54
00:02:12,224 --> 00:02:14,530
so, um, I don't know
if it shrinks again or--
55
00:02:14,617 --> 00:02:16,315
I don't know how that works,
you know?
56
00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:18,273
I don't know what
the Pinocchio rules are.
57
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,623
You know?
[chuckling]
58
00:02:20,710 --> 00:02:22,712
Yeah, maybe it would just,
like, start growing
59
00:02:22,799 --> 00:02:24,410
and shrinking back and forth,
you know, like,
60
00:02:24,497 --> 00:02:26,760
'cause, um, 'cause it grows,
and then I'm not lying,
61
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,283
and then it shrinks
since I'm lying,
62
00:02:28,370 --> 00:02:29,850
and then, you know,
it just goes back and forth.
63
00:02:29,937 --> 00:02:32,461
It's kind of going "boing,
oing, boing, boing, boing."
64
00:02:32,548 --> 00:02:33,897
[chuckling]
65
00:02:33,985 --> 00:02:35,638
And then I wouldn't even
need the chick, you know?
66
00:02:35,725 --> 00:02:37,727
I could just have my schlong
do all the work, you know?
67
00:02:37,814 --> 00:02:39,294
[chuckling]
68
00:02:39,381 --> 00:02:40,600
And I wouldn't need
my hands either.
69
00:02:40,687 --> 00:02:42,515
[chuckling]
70
00:02:42,602 --> 00:02:45,518
Can go eat lunch or something.
You know, go about my business.
71
00:02:45,605 --> 00:02:46,998
You know?
[chuckling]
72
00:02:47,085 --> 00:02:48,434
Maybe take up a new hobby,
you know,
73
00:02:48,521 --> 00:02:50,958
like, um, like, um...
74
00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:52,438
uh, like spanking my--
oh, no, never mind.
75
00:02:52,525 --> 00:02:54,005
[chuckling]
76
00:02:54,092 --> 00:02:55,484
That was
quite a ride, Beavis.
77
00:02:55,571 --> 00:02:57,008
[chuckling]
78
00:02:57,095 --> 00:02:58,835
I guess what I'm saying,
though, is, like, um,
79
00:02:58,922 --> 00:03:01,838
is I wish I could lie a lot
and have a big schlong.
80
00:03:01,925 --> 00:03:03,579
That's all.
[chuckling]
81
00:03:03,666 --> 00:03:07,322
That would rule.
[chuckling]
82
00:03:07,409 --> 00:03:09,846
Uh, you know,
they really should
83
00:03:09,933 --> 00:03:12,501
make a "Schlongnocchio" movie.
[chuckling]
84
00:03:12,588 --> 00:03:14,155
'Cause then, like,
Jimmy Cricket
85
00:03:14,242 --> 00:03:16,766
can get it on with Tinkerbell,
and then Peter Pan
86
00:03:16,853 --> 00:03:18,551
can grant him a real schlong,
87
00:03:18,638 --> 00:03:20,466
and they can all ride off
on Dumbo.
88
00:03:20,553 --> 00:03:22,163
[chuckling]
89
00:03:22,250 --> 00:03:24,731
Beavis: [chuckling]
90
00:03:24,818 --> 00:03:26,602
Butt-Head: And then
that cricket can be like,
91
00:03:26,689 --> 00:03:30,650
"Uh, hey, Tinkerbell,
wanna see my seventh leg?"
92
00:03:30,737 --> 00:03:32,695
[chuckling]
93
00:03:32,782 --> 00:03:34,132
[chuckling]
Yeah.
94
00:03:34,219 --> 00:03:36,699
"Hey, Tinkerbell, hey,
how'd you like to see
95
00:03:36,786 --> 00:03:39,180
something that always grows up?
You know what I'm saying?"
96
00:03:39,267 --> 00:03:41,704
[chuckling]
97
00:03:41,791 --> 00:03:43,489
♪ If that bitch gets slick,
I'll cut the bitch ♪
98
00:03:43,576 --> 00:03:47,058
Uh, okay, Beavis,
I have an idea for a game.
99
00:03:47,145 --> 00:03:48,624
[chuckling]
100
00:03:48,711 --> 00:03:51,801
Every time she says, "bitch,"
I get to smack you.
101
00:03:51,888 --> 00:03:53,412
[chuckling]
- No way!
102
00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:55,892
Why would I do that?
[chuckling]
103
00:03:55,979 --> 00:03:58,330
Butt-Head:
Uh, okay, how about this?
104
00:03:58,417 --> 00:04:00,941
Every time she says "butt,"
you can smack me.
105
00:04:01,028 --> 00:04:03,248
Uh, okay, yeah, I mean,
106
00:04:03,335 --> 00:04:05,163
she is the queen of butts.
[chuckling]
107
00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:06,338
Your funeral.
[chuckling]
108
00:04:06,425 --> 00:04:10,733
Now let the games begin.
[chuckling]
109
00:04:10,820 --> 00:04:11,995
♪ I'll cut up the bitch ♪
110
00:04:12,083 --> 00:04:13,649
♪ I'll gut the bitch ♪
111
00:04:13,736 --> 00:04:14,911
♪ Had to fuck up the bitch ♪
- Ah! Wait, I--
112
00:04:14,998 --> 00:04:16,348
Ah! Okay, okay.
- ♪ Fuck the bitch ♪
113
00:04:16,435 --> 00:04:17,740
I can't hear
when you're smacking me!
114
00:04:17,827 --> 00:04:19,133
Ah!
Wait, I think--
115
00:04:19,220 --> 00:04:20,134
- [grunts]
- Hold on!
116
00:04:20,221 --> 00:04:21,831
Why did I--
ah, ah, ow!
117
00:04:21,918 --> 00:04:23,964
I can--ah!
Hey!
118
00:04:24,051 --> 00:04:25,705
- ♪ Cut up the bitch ♪
- [screams]
119
00:04:25,792 --> 00:04:26,749
♪ Get the combination
to the safe ♪
120
00:04:26,836 --> 00:04:28,534
♪ And drug the bitch ♪
- I win.
121
00:04:28,621 --> 00:04:31,667
[chuckling]
- Ah, ah!
122
00:04:31,754 --> 00:04:33,365
Damn it.
[chuckling]
123
00:04:33,452 --> 00:04:35,149
I did not think she
would say "bitch" so much
124
00:04:35,236 --> 00:04:36,803
when I agree--
ah!
125
00:04:36,890 --> 00:04:39,327
Wait, Butt-Head, you can't
smack me when I say it!
126
00:04:39,414 --> 00:04:41,764
Son of a bitch.
Oh, wait, don't--ah!
127
00:04:41,851 --> 00:04:43,026
[chuckling]
128
00:04:43,114 --> 00:04:44,332
Damn it, this game sucks.
129
00:04:47,292 --> 00:04:50,686
Uh, damn it,
we're out of eggs.
130
00:04:50,773 --> 00:04:52,123
Where are we gonna get
more eggs
131
00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:54,560
to throw at this dumbass house?
[chuckling]
132
00:04:54,647 --> 00:04:56,388
Uh...
133
00:04:56,475 --> 00:04:58,172
[doorbell rings]
134
00:04:59,782 --> 00:05:00,870
Well, hello.
135
00:05:00,957 --> 00:05:03,569
Uh, hello.
136
00:05:03,656 --> 00:05:05,397
We, like, need some eggs.
137
00:05:05,484 --> 00:05:07,616
Yeah, a lot of 'em.
Please, yeah.
138
00:05:07,703 --> 00:05:09,792
Eggs?
Of course.
139
00:05:09,879 --> 00:05:12,012
Happy to help.
- [chuckles]
140
00:05:12,099 --> 00:05:13,883
Reminds me of the old days
when a neighbor
141
00:05:13,970 --> 00:05:15,581
would ask for a cup of sugar.
142
00:05:15,668 --> 00:05:18,845
Um, okay.
Give us a cup of sugar too.
143
00:05:18,932 --> 00:05:19,802
- Yeah.
- [chuckling]
144
00:05:19,889 --> 00:05:21,848
Sure, no problem.
145
00:05:21,935 --> 00:05:23,676
So what grade
are you boys in?
146
00:05:23,763 --> 00:05:27,027
Uh, we don't know.
[chuckling]
147
00:05:27,114 --> 00:05:29,203
I know what you mean.
148
00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:31,423
It all goes by so fast,
doesn't it?
149
00:05:31,510 --> 00:05:34,165
Uh, no?
150
00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:36,341
Nope.
[chuckling]
151
00:05:36,428 --> 00:05:39,561
There you go, boys. Enjoy.
152
00:05:39,648 --> 00:05:42,129
Bye, boys.
You come back anytime now.
153
00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:44,000
Nah.
[chuckling]
154
00:05:47,265 --> 00:05:49,005
- Oh, yeah.
- [chuckling]
155
00:05:49,092 --> 00:05:52,792
That sugar really hit the spot.
- Yeah, yeah, sure did, yeah.
156
00:05:52,879 --> 00:05:55,011
You know, they should put this
in food and stuff.
157
00:05:55,098 --> 00:05:56,317
Yeah.
- Yeah, I wish.
158
00:05:56,404 --> 00:05:57,884
[chuckling]
159
00:05:57,971 --> 00:05:59,755
Now let's go egg
those buttholes.
160
00:05:59,842 --> 00:06:01,017
Yeah!
[chuckling]
161
00:06:02,671 --> 00:06:04,499
Okay, let's kick 'em
this time.
162
00:06:04,586 --> 00:06:06,893
Yeah, yeah, throwing sucks.
[chuckling]
163
00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:09,809
[both grunting]
164
00:06:13,029 --> 00:06:14,509
Damn eggs.
Ugh!
165
00:06:14,596 --> 00:06:16,685
Ah!
166
00:06:16,772 --> 00:06:19,993
Uh, did we get any eggs
on the house?
167
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,256
I think so. Um...
168
00:06:22,343 --> 00:06:25,303
eh, no, I don't think so.
[chuckling]
169
00:06:25,390 --> 00:06:27,218
Damn it.
[chuckling]
170
00:06:27,305 --> 00:06:29,220
All right, Beavis,
I have another idea.
171
00:06:29,307 --> 00:06:31,787
Now follow me.
[chuckling]
172
00:06:31,874 --> 00:06:33,920
Um, what is it?
173
00:06:34,007 --> 00:06:36,444
Uh, I don't know.
174
00:06:38,838 --> 00:06:41,406
Okay, Beavis, we're gonna
toilet paper their house.
175
00:06:41,493 --> 00:06:42,972
Yeah, yeah,
because they suck.
176
00:06:43,059 --> 00:06:45,497
[chuckling]
177
00:06:45,584 --> 00:06:49,283
This'll teach them a lesson.
Okay, here we go, Beavis.
178
00:06:49,370 --> 00:06:51,154
[chuckling]
[grunts]
179
00:06:56,377 --> 00:06:57,726
Yes!
180
00:06:57,813 --> 00:07:00,120
They're gonna be so pissed off. Yeah.
181
00:07:00,207 --> 00:07:02,253
No, they're not, dumbass.
182
00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:04,516
The toilet paper
went down the sewer.
183
00:07:04,603 --> 00:07:07,519
Oh, yeah, yeah,
so it did, yeah.
184
00:07:07,606 --> 00:07:08,650
Damn it.
185
00:07:08,737 --> 00:07:10,609
Now we gotta get
more toilet paper.
186
00:07:10,696 --> 00:07:12,045
Where?
187
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,526
[doorbell rings]
188
00:07:14,613 --> 00:07:16,310
Hello.
189
00:07:16,397 --> 00:07:18,878
Uh, we need toilet paper.
190
00:07:18,965 --> 00:07:20,575
[both chuckling]
191
00:07:20,662 --> 00:07:22,795
Sure, boys, always happy
to help a neighbor.
192
00:07:22,882 --> 00:07:26,364
Um, and we need a lot
because I poop too much.
193
00:07:26,451 --> 00:07:28,801
He sure does.
[chuckling]
194
00:07:28,888 --> 00:07:31,456
You know, all that talk
of eggs and sugar last time
195
00:07:31,543 --> 00:07:34,937
put me in the mood for baking,
and I made some cookies.
196
00:07:35,024 --> 00:07:36,417
Whoa.
197
00:07:38,941 --> 00:07:41,204
Well, they sure appreciate
your baking, honey.
198
00:07:41,292 --> 00:07:43,381
Put more sugar in next time.
199
00:07:43,468 --> 00:07:45,078
Yeah, yeah, have you heard
of that stuff?
200
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,472
Really good, yeah.
201
00:07:47,559 --> 00:07:48,995
- Toilet paper.
- Yes!
202
00:07:49,082 --> 00:07:50,475
Yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
203
00:07:50,562 --> 00:07:52,085
It's about time.
[chuckling]
204
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,305
Such good boys.
205
00:07:55,915 --> 00:07:58,483
[both chuckling]
206
00:08:03,792 --> 00:08:07,143
We did it, Butt-Head!
We did it, yeah!
207
00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:09,755
Let me guess.
You guys did that?
208
00:08:09,842 --> 00:08:12,627
- Yeah, we sure did.
- Yeah, it's toilet paper.
209
00:08:12,714 --> 00:08:13,933
[chuckling]
210
00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:16,065
Real smart to TP a house
211
00:08:16,152 --> 00:08:18,372
when there's a nationwide
toilet paper shortage going on.
212
00:08:20,331 --> 00:08:22,855
Um, what?
[chuckling]
213
00:08:22,942 --> 00:08:24,857
There's no toilet paper
in the stores right now
214
00:08:24,944 --> 00:08:27,555
because of the supply chain, genius.
215
00:08:27,642 --> 00:08:29,340
It's called following the news?
216
00:08:34,562 --> 00:08:36,869
Eh, this sucks.
[chuckling]
217
00:08:36,956 --> 00:08:39,611
Wait a minute, Beavis,
I just thought of something.
218
00:08:39,698 --> 00:08:41,526
If we get
our toilet paper back,
219
00:08:41,613 --> 00:08:43,702
we can sell it
and, like, be rich.
220
00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:45,356
Whoa!
221
00:08:45,443 --> 00:08:48,533
- Damn it.
- [grunting]
222
00:08:50,056 --> 00:08:51,623
[doorbell rings]
223
00:08:53,668 --> 00:08:57,106
Uh, we got toilet paper.
224
00:08:57,193 --> 00:08:59,805
Yeah, yeah, check it out.
Yeah, it's good stuff.
225
00:08:59,892 --> 00:09:01,415
[chuckling]
226
00:09:01,502 --> 00:09:02,721
You can use it on your butt,
you know,
227
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:04,810
or blow your nose or something.
228
00:09:04,897 --> 00:09:06,725
Wow.
229
00:09:06,812 --> 00:09:09,292
For you boys to clean up
after some bad kids
230
00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:13,427
threw toilet paper on our home,
it's wonderful.
231
00:09:13,514 --> 00:09:15,647
Thank you.
- Yes.
232
00:09:15,734 --> 00:09:17,170
This is the nicest thing
anyone's done for us
233
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:18,084
in a long while.
234
00:09:18,171 --> 00:09:20,913
Uh, what?
235
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,742
Diane and I were never able
to have children
236
00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:28,050
of our own, but if we had,
we'd sure like to think
237
00:09:28,137 --> 00:09:29,574
they'd be something like you.
238
00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:33,099
Do you want the toilet paper
or not?
239
00:09:33,186 --> 00:09:35,754
Yeah, it's, like,
brand-new or something.
240
00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:38,409
Yeah, nobody wiped
their butt on it,
241
00:09:38,496 --> 00:09:40,541
not even once.
[chuckling]
242
00:09:40,628 --> 00:09:42,587
We'll throw this out for you.
243
00:09:42,674 --> 00:09:45,677
Thank you.
Thanks again.
244
00:09:45,764 --> 00:09:48,680
- Ugh, damn it.
- That sucks.
245
00:09:48,767 --> 00:09:50,203
They just stole
our toilet paper.
246
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,031
[chuckling]
247
00:09:52,118 --> 00:09:54,468
Well, I did wipe my butt
on some of it, you know,
248
00:09:54,555 --> 00:09:56,296
if I'm gonna be honest.
[chuckling]
249
00:09:56,383 --> 00:09:58,951
We should, like,
smear shaving cream everywhere
250
00:09:59,038 --> 00:10:01,301
to prank those buttholes.
- Yeah, good idea.
251
00:10:01,388 --> 00:10:03,825
Yeah.
[chuckling]
252
00:10:03,912 --> 00:10:06,828
Um, where do we get
shaving cream though?
253
00:10:06,915 --> 00:10:09,222
Uh, I know.
254
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,528
[chuckling]
255
00:10:10,615 --> 00:10:12,965
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
256
00:10:13,052 --> 00:10:14,140
[both chuckling]
257
00:10:14,227 --> 00:10:15,358
[doorbell rings]
- This is gonna be cool.
258
00:10:15,446 --> 00:10:17,273
[both chuckling]
259
00:10:20,146 --> 00:10:23,018
[rock music]
260
00:10:23,105 --> 00:10:29,677
♪ ♪
261
00:10:46,825 --> 00:10:47,478
Chirp.
262
00:10:47,528 --> 00:10:52,078
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