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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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This programme contains very strong
language, offensive sexual references
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and scenes some viewers may find
distressing.
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♪ So very much in love ♪
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♪ I'm living in an ecstasy ♪
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♪ Now at last... ♪
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Come on, we can't talk
about it if you don't read it.
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I don't want to.
8
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Why not? Don't you like it?
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I love it.
10
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It's just a bit boring.
11
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What do you want to do?
12
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Tell me again
about the monsters.
13
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All right.
14
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They used to hide,
15
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pretend they were just like
you and me.
16
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Why did they hide?
17
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Because...
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there was still enough good
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in the world, I think...
20
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to make them ashamed.
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There was so much good.
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Like what?
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Your mum.
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She were good.
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So, what happened?
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They took that away.
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Even that.
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And then
they stopped being scared,
29
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the monsters.
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Stopped hiding,
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everything, all of it.
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The whole world...
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smashed.
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COMPUTER KEYS CLICK
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And how did you feel
when your dad wasn't there?
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Scared.
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00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,480
And when he was there?
38
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Happy.
39
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How much of the time?
40
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All the time.
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00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,920
What were you scared of?
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The monsters.
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What are you writing?
44
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Did you ever see any?
45
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No.
46
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Then how did you know
they were there?
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Because they took my mum.
48
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SLAPPING SKIN, WOMAN MOANING
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ON PHONE: Oh, it feels so good.
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I've never felt this good.
51
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Oh, it's good.
52
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What are they doing?
53
00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,200
What do you think?
54
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I don't know.
55
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They're just fucking.
56
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:04,960
What?
57
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,760
You know what fucking is,
don't you?
58
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HE LAUGHS
For fuck's sake.
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Is this really what people do?
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Yeah.
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Do you do it?
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Yeah.
63
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- Like that?
- Yeah.
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Do girls like it?
65
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Yeah.
66
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,880
So what do you wank to, then?
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You do wank, don't ya?
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Oh. Oh, yes.
69
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,840
Well, what do you think about,
then?
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I think about Edna Purviance,
mostly.
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- Who?
- Edna Purviance.
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In Charlie Chaplin.
73
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In A Woman Of Paris.
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- What you doing?
- Looking her up.
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Oh, for fuck's sake!
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State of you.
77
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- It's a cardboard box.
- It's not a cardboard box.
78
00:04:02,139 --> 00:04:03,914
- Well, what is it, then?
- It's a premium...
79
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Right? ... cardboard coffin.
80
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Jesus Christ.
81
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,175
Tell you what, fuck the coffin.
82
00:04:09,176 --> 00:04:11,440
Let's see if we can fold him up
and squeeze him into...
83
00:04:11,441 --> 00:04:12,093
I'm just thinking...
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- I don't know, a food bin or something.
- That's not what I'm saying.
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I just want everything to be
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as proper and normal
as possible.
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Yeah, yeah. So don't
you think we ought to tell him
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00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,720
that his mum was not gobbled up
by goblins?
89
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,134
- It's monsters.
- Yeah, monsters.
90
00:04:24,161 --> 00:04:27,078
I know. They said that we need
to take it slowly in case...
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00:04:27,079 --> 00:04:29,360
- What?
- His bloody brain melts
92
00:04:29,361 --> 00:04:30,921
and dribbles out his nose,
I don't know.
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00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,200
What you talking about?
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00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,720
Hiya, Danny, love.
Erm... Nothing.
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Why don't you go sit down and...
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00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,720
and I can make you
some... some toast or...
97
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VICAR: So, family will sit
near the front.
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You can obviously sit together.
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And then other friends,
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00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,640
other people will sit further back
on the other side.
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00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,440
Have you ever attended
a funeral before, Danny?
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No. No, he hasn't, no.
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I've seen some in films.
104
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Oh, well, that'll do.
105
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,280
And what were they like,
these funerals?
106
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,560
Very sad?
107
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Lots of people in black?
108
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,200
Rain pouring down?
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Well, I'm sure your dad
wouldn't want you
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to be sad, now, would he?
111
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No.
112
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So what say
we have a celebration?
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Of your dad,
114
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:20,640
with songs and stories...
115
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,320
and no rain.
116
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Can't promise that last bit,
117
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but I'll have a word.
118
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OK, then.
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Now, why don't you tell me
more about him?
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HE TAPS ON PHONE
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MOANING RESUMES
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DANNY: He told stories
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and we watched films
all the time.
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And we played golf sometimes.
125
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,160
- Where did you play?
- Downstairs.
126
00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:02,360
He... he knew everything.
About books and music.
127
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And he taught me
how to fix things
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and how to shoot.
129
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,200
Ah! OK, a marksman.
130
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,715
What did he like to shoot?
131
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- Monsters.
- OK, right.
132
00:06:11,231 --> 00:06:12,608
I think
that's probably enough now.
133
00:06:12,609 --> 00:06:13,839
- Innit? Shall we...?
- What?
134
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,560
Shall we just get you
back to the car, love?
135
00:06:15,561 --> 00:06:17,048
No, it's all right.
Erm, I'll just be...
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I'll just be
a couple of seconds.
137
00:06:18,233 --> 00:06:19,464
- What, you're...?
- You just go on.
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OK.
139
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,346
Er...
140
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,560
Yeah, there's probably
some things I should tell you
141
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,236
about my brother.
142
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,560
ON RADIO: ♪ A lot
of nine-fingered boys ♪
143
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♪ In the village ♪
144
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♪ They haven't got
much choice. ♪
145
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Will you ring your dad,
ask if he's coming to the funeral?
146
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Aaron?
147
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,920
I'll ask him when he calls me.
148
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,760
He won't call you, though,
will he?
149
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:43,800
You know what he's like.
150
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:46,100
I won't get a chance
to ask him, then, will I?
151
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,240
Why won't he call you?
152
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:50,600
Cos he hates Paul.
153
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He don't.
154
00:06:52,195 --> 00:06:54,600
- Don't he want to speak to you?
- Danny.
155
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,101
But he's your dad.
156
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,920
RADIO VOLUME BLASTS
157
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♪ Take flight, take flight! ♪
158
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,120
Pow.
159
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,240
You look like a gangster.
160
00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,200
Oh, well, yeah.
161
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- Pow.
- SHE LAUGHS
162
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,080
It's a bit big, though,
isn't it?
163
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,240
- Huh?
- The suit.
164
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:32,440
Oh. Oh, yeah.
165
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:33,960
Yeah, I were just thinking that.
166
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,280
That's just what
I were thinking.
167
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:37,880
It's fucking shit.
168
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,680
No, it's just big.
169
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,920
Yeah, no, that's just what
I were thinking.
170
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,040
Come on, let's have a look
at some other sizes.
171
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:54,760
Danny, come on, let's see you.
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I don't like it.
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It's too tight.
174
00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:59,640
- It's stupid.
- What?
175
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,560
You look like a film star.
176
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,300
No, I don't.
177
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:05,263
It's not right.
178
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,320
You don't want it too small.
179
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:08,646
Look.
180
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,120
Perfect.
181
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,320
See?
182
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,280
Now, shall we try the trousers?
183
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,800
Yeah, course.
184
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,096
I just work here,
I'm not trying to fuck you.
185
00:08:28,097 --> 00:08:29,120
Oh...
186
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,680
No. God, no. I didn't...
187
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,170
All right, Mr Lover-Lover?
188
00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:40,800
Christ, Aaron,
what do you look like?
189
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,880
An absolute cunt, obviously.
190
00:08:48,165 --> 00:08:49,441
Those trousers were massive,
191
00:08:49,442 --> 00:08:50,893
that's why you looked
so ridiculous.
192
00:08:50,894 --> 00:08:52,566
You said I were a medium.
I told you I'm not.
193
00:08:52,567 --> 00:08:54,298
Look, do you know what?
I'll ask Paul, right?
194
00:08:54,324 --> 00:08:55,976
I know you're smaller than him,
but I'll just, like,
195
00:08:55,977 --> 00:08:57,863
- roll the trousers up...
- What about that one?
196
00:08:57,881 --> 00:09:02,323
Er... Danny, love, it's lovely,
but it's a bit old-fashioned.
197
00:09:02,363 --> 00:09:04,330
People might think
you're a bit odd.
198
00:09:05,371 --> 00:09:06,891
It's perfect.
199
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:26,760
♪ I'll get by ♪
200
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:34,280
♪ As long as I have you... ♪
201
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,080
MUSIC FADES, SOUND DISTORTS
202
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,720
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
203
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:01,800
MUFFLED SCREECHES, SCREAMS
204
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:04,840
BED CREAKS GENTLY
205
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,840
SUE MOANS SOFTLY
206
00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,040
- I can't sleep.
- Oh, fuck!
207
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:17,480
Jesus, Danny, love.
208
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,680
Ey up, Danny.
Are you all right, mate?
209
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,600
Oh, God. Come on, Danny,
let's go downstairs.
210
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,200
Come on, love. Go on.
211
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,520
Sorry.
212
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:27,640
Oh, God.
213
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:31,040
SPOON CLICKS AGAINST MUG
214
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,680
It was just a dream, love.
215
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:38,600
Here.
216
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:39,960
I, erm...
217
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:44,280
I dug this out after...
218
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,200
It's... it's his wedding day.
219
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,293
It just helped me
to see him as he were.
220
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,320
LAUGHING, WHOOPING
221
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:56,960
Who are all those people?
222
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,040
They're your dad's friends.
223
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,440
Is that...?
224
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:08,800
Yeah.
225
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,280
How did she die?
226
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,480
Love...
227
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:36,440
I...
228
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,049
I do want to talk to you
about it all.
229
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,040
OK.
230
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,800
It were an accident.
231
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:56,812
A car accident.
232
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,640
But that doesn't make any sense.
233
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,080
Danny,
234
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,520
I know how much
you love your dad...
235
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,200
I just...
236
00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,267
I think
you need to understand, he...
237
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,840
he didn't always do
what was right for you.
238
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:22,880
Yes, he did.
239
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,920
ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS
240
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,800
She'll be here.
You know what she's like.
241
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,120
- She's always late.
- God's sake.
242
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,560
- I'm not late, am I?
- No, no.
243
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,480
- No, it's fine.
- Fucking boiler packed up.
244
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,000
- Right. OK.
- Ta.
245
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,640
Er, Danny? This is Angie.
She knew your dad way back.
246
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,880
Hello, sweetheart.
You all right?
247
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,960
All right, you go in there,
love.
248
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:06,880
Danny, come on.
249
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,400
Will more people come?
250
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:09,560
Er...
251
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,600
No, love, this is...
This is probably it.
252
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:13,920
Sit down.
253
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,960
ORGAN MUSIC STOPS
254
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,320
Welcome.
255
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:31,960
We are gathered to celebrate
the life of Steve.
256
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,200
A loving father.
257
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,480
A devoted brother.
258
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:40,000
A keen golfer
and an avid movie watcher.
259
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:43,920
Some years ago, Steve suffered
the terrible loss
260
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,080
of his beloved wife, Sarah.
261
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,640
That he struggled in the wake
of such tragedy is no surprise.
262
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:54,760
And though we don't excuse
his subsequent actions,
263
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,120
I hope that we can find it
in our heart to forgive him,
264
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,360
as the Lord will forgive him.
265
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:05,000
And now a song
that Danny's chosen,
266
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:08,400
one that meant a lot
to him and his dad.
267
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,760
MUSIC STARTS
268
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,920
♪ Out in the West
Texas town of El Paso ♪
269
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:29,600
♪ I fell in love
with a Mexican girl ♪
270
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:35,360
♪ Nighttime would find me
in Rosa's Cantina ♪
271
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:39,200
♪ Music would play
and Feleena would whirl ♪
272
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:44,920
♪ Blacker than night
were the eyes of Feleena ♪
273
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:49,400
♪ Wicked and evil
while casting a spell ♪
274
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:54,360
♪ My love was deep
for this Mexican maiden ♪
275
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,800
♪ I was in love,
but in vain I could tell... ♪
276
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,200
MUSIC FADES TO BIRDSONG
277
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:18,697
Good service, that, I thought.
278
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,784
- Mm.
- Nice, that vicar, wasn't he?
279
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,613
Hey, Ange,
how's your Tony getting on?
280
00:15:27,621 --> 00:15:30,036
Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's good.
281
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,931
Is he still driving
that old Citroen?
282
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,997
Oh, it's the bane of
my fucking life, that Citroen.
283
00:15:33,998 --> 00:15:34,743
Yeah.
284
00:15:34,761 --> 00:15:36,041
You all right, Danny, love?
285
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,760
Why didn't anyone come?
286
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,160
Well, it's a tricky one.
287
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,209
He'd been gone away a long time.
288
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:46,304
I thought we were supposed
to talk about him.
289
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,760
I thought someone would tell
a nice story or...
290
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:52,080
Yeah, no, do you know what?
You're right.
291
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,000
Paul, love, should we...
292
00:15:54,001 --> 00:15:55,578
should we talk about Steve
for a bit?
293
00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:56,637
Yeah, course.
294
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:58,400
Great.
295
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,040
Ange?
296
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:05,200
What?
297
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,440
You must have a few stories
about him.
298
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,280
You knew him
very well back then.
299
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:10,760
What, were you two going out?
300
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:11,920
No.
301
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,240
He took you out, though, once,
didn't he?
302
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,200
Yeah.
303
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:19,440
Actually, yeah.
304
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,440
He did, actually.
He took me out for dinner.
305
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:28,400
It was lovely.
306
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,640
Where'd he take ya?
307
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,899
Erm, you know
that Hungry Horse place
308
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:33,737
- up by the motorway?
- Right, yeah.
309
00:16:33,738 --> 00:16:35,200
Er, it's nice.
310
00:16:35,569 --> 00:16:36,760
Mm!
311
00:16:36,927 --> 00:16:38,194
What did you have?
312
00:16:38,195 --> 00:16:39,880
Well, I wasn't hungry,
but they were doing
313
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,480
this two meals
for a fiver thing,
314
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,600
only one meal wasn't 2.50,
it was like, erm...
315
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,040
ah, four quid,
316
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:49,120
so Steve ended up
getting the two meals!
317
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,353
Just for him.
318
00:16:53,092 --> 00:16:56,481
Erm, fish and chips and, erm...
319
00:16:56,568 --> 00:16:57,680
Oh, a curry.
320
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,040
It was smart, really,
if you think about it.
321
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:03,720
He was a smart, smart bloke.
322
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:06,800
Is that it?
323
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,800
It was a fucking shame
what happened.
324
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,280
He should've got longer,
325
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:14,559
- that fucking bloke.
- Ange.
326
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,320
A year for a hit-and-run?
327
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:19,720
- You get more than that for a fucking...
- Ange!
328
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,040
He was never the same
after that, your dad.
329
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,137
What's she talking about?
330
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,520
- We'll talk about it later, love.
- Who?
331
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:34,000
Erm... about... about the man
who was, er...
332
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,680
who was driving the car that...
333
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,000
killed your mum.
334
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,560
You told me it were an accident.
335
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:45,640
It were an accident, but...
336
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,760
I do want to talk to you
about it all.
337
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,080
I want to do it properly,
338
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,320
you know. I just...
339
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:52,600
I don't think this is...
340
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,880
well, the right place, so...
341
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,320
Nice one.
342
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,240
He had to know.
343
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,480
Not like that.
344
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:22,760
Don't worry about Angie.
345
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:25,520
She's a fucking bitch.
346
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,997
What's a hit-and-run?
347
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:35,720
Erm...
348
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,080
It's that...
349
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,355
It means that, erm...
350
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,410
When he, er, when he hit her...
351
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,297
he didn't... he didn't stay.
352
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,040
Like, to help.
353
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,645
He ran.
354
00:18:57,921 --> 00:18:59,320
Drove off.
355
00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:05,800
So there is one monster.
356
00:19:12,056 --> 00:19:15,056
Corrections by bird
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