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Three-point-eight seconds.
4
00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:58,362
That'’s how often you think
about the other person
5
00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:00,408
when you fall in love.
6
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,330
It'’s a lot, isn't it?
7
00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:15,988
They say it'’s to do
with chemicals.
8
00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:18,991
That rush of endorphins you get
9
00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:21,559
every time
they send you an emoticon.
10
00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:27,348
I met Thomas a year ago today
on the Piccadilly line.
11
00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:29,350
I was getting dumped
by some idiot
12
00:01:29,393 --> 00:01:31,613
and Thomas overheard.
13
00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:36,270
He was so sweet and kind
and he made me feel better.
14
00:01:36,313 --> 00:01:38,098
And I just knew immediately
15
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:41,753
that he was the one
I had been searching for.
16
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,002
Frankie?
17
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:16,179
- Yes?
- I'’m Wilbur Asquith-Lacey.
18
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,702
Thomas'’ brother.
19
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:19,487
I didn'’t know
Thomas had a brother.
20
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:21,750
Half brother.
We share a father.
21
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,319
Okay. Um...
22
00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:28,452
It'’s lovely to meet you.
What a surprise.
23
00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:30,628
You can tell me
all the secrets about Thomas
24
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,195
before he gets here.
Oh, excuse me!
25
00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,371
Could we get another
place made up, please?
26
00:02:34,415 --> 00:02:37,635
- We'’re going to be three.
- Oh, I'’m not staying.
27
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:40,464
I just came to give you
a message from Thomas.
28
00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:42,249
He'’s sorry
he couldn'’t come himself.
29
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:45,382
And he didn'’t want to call
or send a text message.
30
00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:46,775
And I still owed him a favor
31
00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,690
from when he let me
borrow his tent.
32
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:51,388
He wanted me to tell you
that you'’re a lovely person.
33
00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:54,043
Oh, well, that'’s very nice.
Thank you.
34
00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:59,091
But, um, you see,
he'’s a bit tied up at the moment
35
00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:00,963
and he'’s got
a lot of work and things,
36
00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:03,531
so he can'’t make it to lunch.
37
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:09,580
And, um, he'’s not really looking
for a relationship right now.
38
00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:13,280
- What?
- He wanted me to make it clear
39
00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:15,543
that it'’s nothing to do
with you personally.
40
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:19,242
So Thomas sent you here
41
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,635
to break up with me?
42
00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:22,071
Yes.
43
00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:25,466
Right.
44
00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,904
Oh, uh, you needn'’t worry
about that.
45
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:31,341
It'’s just going to be one.
46
00:03:31,385 --> 00:03:32,560
Only one?
47
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,127
Yes.
48
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:42,047
What--?
Um, what kind of a grown man
49
00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:44,311
sends a 10-year-old child--
50
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:47,531
I'’m 11, actually.
Twelve in October.
51
00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:50,491
So, what, you-- You dump
all his girlfriends, do you?
52
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,275
Oh, no. This is the first time.
53
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:56,714
Well, I'’d better be going.
I'’m late for an oboe lesson.
54
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,499
Did he give a reason?
55
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,109
Not as far as I recall.
56
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:02,111
We talked mainly about the tent.
57
00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,114
There was a small hole,
58
00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:07,377
and Thomas was
quite angry about it.
59
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:09,858
Bon appétit.
60
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:18,127
You know what?
You are a real wanker.
61
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,390
And a coward.
If you wanna break up with me,
62
00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:22,262
then you can do it
face to face.
63
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:45,763
Thomas.
64
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:47,635
Open the door!
65
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:53,162
Henry! Henry!
66
00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:55,817
Have you seen Thomas today?
67
00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:57,297
No. We thought he was with you.
68
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,951
He was supposed to be,
but he broke up with me.
69
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:02,519
He didn'’t do it himself.
He sent a relative.
70
00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:14,357
Uh, yes.
71
00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:31,679
Thomas'’ brother!
72
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,031
Thomas'’ brother?
73
00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:39,251
I need to talk to you!
74
00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:42,603
Sorry.
75
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:44,474
Are those things for Thomas?
76
00:06:41,313 --> 00:06:43,925
I'’m a qualified first aider,
77
00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:47,842
in case you'’re in need
of assistance.
78
00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:49,931
You knew
and you didn'’t tell me.
79
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,108
How long has he known her?
80
00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:55,937
Um, since Wednesday, I believe.
81
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,852
What, as in four days ago?
82
00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:59,288
Yes.
83
00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:02,726
Where did he meet her?
84
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:05,860
He was doing some work
which involved NASA.
85
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:09,211
NASA?Yes. She'’s an astronaut.
86
00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:13,737
What, she actually
goes into space and things?
87
00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:15,086
Yes.
88
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:17,132
I can'’t believe
this is happening again!
89
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:18,829
I thought
that this was my year!
90
00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:21,223
There are six months left.
91
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:24,313
Yeah. Yeah, but I need
more than six months.
92
00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:27,098
Six months is
quite a long time, you know.
93
00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,927
I mean, Christopher Columbus
discovered the Bahamas,
94
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:33,148
Cuba and the Dominican Republic
in four.
95
00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:34,758
So in six months,
you could discover
96
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:36,238
four and a half countries.
97
00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:39,197
I don'’t want
to discover any countries.
98
00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:45,856
Did he--? Did he say anything?
Did he mention me at all?
99
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:48,555
No. Not-- Not really.
100
00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:53,429
You'’d better
get back to the party.
101
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:57,389
Hold on.
102
00:07:57,433 --> 00:08:00,088
What if the reason
why Thomas broke up with you
103
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:02,220
had nothing
to do with Cecilia?
104
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:04,527
It could be because
you'’re in the dumpee category.
105
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,442
- The what?
- These geneticists
106
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,966
did an interesting study.
I read about it the other day.
107
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,925
Come on, guys.
They found
108
00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:13,841
that people can be split
into two categories,
109
00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:15,451
dumpers and dumpees.
110
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,410
- We need to go now.
- Everyone in the dumpee category,
111
00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:21,109
well, they always get dumped.
112
00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:19,950
Don'’t tell anyone, but four people are getting sacked.
113
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:21,343
What?
114
00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:23,084
Amanda told me
at the water cooler.
115
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:25,129
They'’re downsizing
the department.
116
00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,088
- Who?
- I suppose they do
117
00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:29,351
some kind of performance chart
or something.
118
00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:31,353
And the ones
on the bottom...
119
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,921
Frankie, get me a coffee
and come to my office.
120
00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:35,357
Two minutes, yeah?
121
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:41,624
- You wanted to see me.
- Yeah.
122
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:45,410
Uh, this is John,
the new intern.
123
00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:47,238
I want you
to show him around, okay?
124
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:49,632
How to use the photocopier,
stuff like that.
125
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:50,894
Off you pop.
126
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:56,117
Well, this is such a great opportunity, so...
127
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:59,642
Um, did Marianne want this
one-sided or double-sided?
128
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,992
Well,
she'’s a climate-change denier,
129
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:04,865
so one-sided should be fine.
130
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,521
If someone has to get sacked,
it should be Malcolm.
131
00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:12,612
If he gets sacked, he might
go jump off Westminster Bridge.
132
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:16,224
He'’s been on antidepressants
since his wife left him.
133
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,052
He won'’t find
another job at his age.
134
00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:22,317
Well, then, Andy. It has to be Andy.
135
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,624
You remember that time
he spent the whole week
136
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,800
living
in the stationery cupboard.
137
00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:28,453
Ah, but, poor lamb,
138
00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:31,369
his girlfriend accidentally
hit him with her car
139
00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:33,850
and then dumped him
in the ambulance.
140
00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:37,158
And Jenny.
141
00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:39,639
- She'’s gone through enough.
- No, can'’t be Jenny.
142
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:43,164
Her husband leaving her when
she was five months pregnant.
143
00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:46,820
Your boyfriends before Trevor,
144
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:49,910
did they break up with you
or did you break up with them?
145
00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:55,959
I suppose
they broke up with me.
146
00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:58,179
Apart from the Italian.
147
00:10:58,222 --> 00:10:59,746
He just didn'’t
show up at the airport
148
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,269
when I arrived with my stuff,
149
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:04,794
having quit my job
to move there and be with him.
150
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,622
MALCOLM:Hello.
151
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,841
Hi.
152
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:10,408
Um, Malcolm?
153
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:11,714
Mm?
154
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:14,238
Before you married Sue,
155
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:15,587
your other girlfriends,
156
00:11:15,631 --> 00:11:17,764
did they dump you as well?
157
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:21,071
What? What are you asking
me that for?
158
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:24,248
I'’m just doing a survey for HR.
159
00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:26,120
HR?
160
00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:28,731
Why do HR want to know?
161
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,907
Um, you know,
to, uh, help evaluate
162
00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:32,866
people'’s work performance.
163
00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,998
What, do they not think
I'’m performing well?
164
00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:36,260
No.
165
00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:37,827
No?
166
00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:39,437
Um, so...
167
00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:42,876
have you ever
broken up with anyone?
168
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:45,574
Well... no.
169
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,011
But that doesn'’t impact
170
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,317
on my ability to do my job.
171
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,710
No, of course not.
172
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:59,806
How many times in your life
have you been dumped?
173
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,068
What?
174
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:02,896
It'’s, um-- It's odd, I know,
175
00:12:02,939 --> 00:12:06,247
uh, but everyone in the office
is going to have to answer it.
176
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:09,380
Uh, no, not many.
Well, Elliott, obviously.
177
00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:13,341
He wants to bring
his new girlfriend to the birth.
178
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:17,824
I haven'’t said no, 'cause
I don'’t want to be the bad guy.
179
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:20,130
He says it would be
really healing for me,
180
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:21,871
to see his love, you know?
181
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:25,309
Give me hope that there
might be some in my future.
182
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:29,052
How many, um...
183
00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:32,142
- girlfriends?
- Mm-hmm.
184
00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:34,318
Six fiancées.
185
00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:36,973
All of them left me.
186
00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:39,846
Ooh, loads.
187
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:42,413
I'’ve had loads of girls.
188
00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:44,154
Write that down.
189
00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:45,982
Does it count if I knew
190
00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,984
we were going out,
but she didn'’t?
191
00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:50,291
No.
192
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:52,336
No. Two.
193
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:55,165
- Did they end it with you?
- Nah, nah. No.
194
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:57,864
No way. I end it with them!
195
00:12:57,907 --> 00:12:59,517
Well, what about Trisha?
196
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:04,174
She broke up with you
at the Christmas party.
197
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:07,874
There'’s something
you need to know, okay?
198
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:11,181
Trisha is a bitch.
199
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:15,490
I'’ll keep
this, uh, suicide note,
200
00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:17,231
but, um, I just think
201
00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:19,624
you need to sort out
some therapy for Jonathan,
202
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,713
because, uh,
it'’s definitely over.
203
00:13:21,757 --> 00:13:25,021
Michael, broke up with him
because of the shoes.
204
00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:29,069
Tyrone, yeah, cried.
Cried too much at films.
205
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:30,853
Broke up with him.
206
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:34,770
Derek, had to break up with
him, my mom didn'’t like him.
207
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,947
I'’m getting remarried.
Yeah, he'’s a concert pianist.
208
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:39,557
Yeah. Yeah, gorgeous.
209
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:43,866
Yeah. Yeah,
like textbook gorgeous.
210
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,737
In fact, he is actually
in a textbook
211
00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:47,914
that plastic surgeons use.
212
00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:51,265
Yeah, for, like,
the perfect nose.
213
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,833
So there are two categories of people.
214
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,747
And I'’m in the wrong one.
215
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:59,142
I'’ve been dumped the third
most times in the office.
216
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:02,189
Ever since I was 12
and I first fell in love,
217
00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:04,191
things kept turning out badly.
218
00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:07,411
It was 2005,
and I had been voted
219
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:11,198
most likely to succeed,
age 12.
220
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:14,331
And then Gary Wild was
transferred to our school.
221
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:20,163
He was reckless and dangerous
222
00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:23,036
in a way that other
12-year-old boys were not.
223
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,910
The four and a half days
we went out
224
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:30,870
were the happiest in my life.
225
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:33,524
And then Gary asked me
to run away with him.
226
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:36,310
We'’ll travel round the country.
It'’ll be the trip of a lifetime.
227
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:38,921
But my dinner'’s going to be
ready in an hour
228
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,576
and I'’ve got a flute lesson
tomorrow morning.
229
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:44,927
I need more notice
to run away spontaneously, Gary.
230
00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:47,930
You'’re dumped.
231
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:51,368
- What?
- And you'’re uninvited.
232
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,457
This was gonna be
the best trip ever.
233
00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,198
And you'’re gonna miss out.
234
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:56,896
But, Gary--
235
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:59,681
Don'’t expect a postcard
because I wont send one.
236
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,337
You'’re going to regret this.
237
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:08,472
Gary!
238
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,171
Gary!
239
00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:14,217
And I did regret it.
240
00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:18,004
All these years, I wished
I'’d had the courage to go.
241
00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:21,921
Maybe things in my life would
have turned out differently.
242
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:30,233
Thomas'’ brother!
243
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:33,280
Thomas'’ brother!
244
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:36,500
I have been blessed
with my own form of address.
245
00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:38,328
- What'’s your name again?
- Wilbur.
246
00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:40,852
Have you seen Thomas today?
247
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,898
I can'’t divulge that,
I'’m afraid.
248
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,595
Why not?
249
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:48,121
I'’m under strict instructions
not to speak to you.
250
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:50,036
Not to speak to me?
251
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:52,386
What, Thomas told you
not to speak to me?
252
00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:54,866
Yes. Goodbye.
253
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:57,739
Well, why did he tell you
not to speak to me?
254
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,524
What else did he say?
255
00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:04,006
Has he expressed any regret
256
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:06,878
- at breaking up with me?
- Uh, no. No.
257
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,535
Did he say anything else?
258
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:14,625
He said I have to pick up
his dry cleaning for two weeks
259
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:17,019
as a punishment
for botching the task.
260
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,152
- That'’s unbelievable.
- It'’ll be four weeks
261
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,936
if he finds out
I'’ve spoken to you.
262
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,025
I don'’t want
to get you in trouble.
263
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:26,072
I wanted to ask you a question
about that study you mentioned
264
00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:27,595
with the categories of people.
265
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,814
It'’s genetic,
which category you'’re in.
266
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:31,512
- What?
- These scientists,
267
00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:33,949
they studied thousands of
couples over a period of years.
268
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,996
And they could predict
with 100 percent accuracy
269
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,823
who would terminate
the relationship.
270
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,477
No.
Yes.
271
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:42,392
All the individuals
who got dumped
272
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:44,090
had an active gene ACDN7.
273
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:46,962
And you think I have this gene,
the dumpee one?
274
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,485
It was just a speculation.
275
00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:50,400
How come no one else
has heard about it?
276
00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:51,923
They will hear about it,
soon enough.
277
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,056
The paper'’s going to be
published in...
278
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:56,537
Scientist Today.
279
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:59,409
Well, this paper,
could I read it then?
280
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:01,063
Oh, no, no, no.
No space sherbets.
281
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:03,805
I don'’t like them.
282
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:06,634
I lent it to Barnaby, along
with a very interesting study
283
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:09,158
- on the honeybee.
- Sorry, who'’s Barnaby?
284
00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:15,773
Excuse me.
285
00:17:15,817 --> 00:17:19,516
The, uh, scientific paper
on relationships?
286
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,084
I'’d like to read it
if you'’ve finished with it.
287
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:24,043
Those papers
I lent you a week ago.
288
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,062
Orchestra practice starts in ten minutes.
289
00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:04,039
If he'’s going to dump you, wouldn'’t you rather know now?
290
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,172
Instead of waiting three years
291
00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:10,306
and paying his share of the rent
while he'’s in grad school.
292
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,656
Your time is precious.
293
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:14,223
That'’s why at Epigenica
294
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:16,356
we offer the first and only
295
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:19,620
100 percent accurate
Type D test.
296
00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:23,754
Using state-of-the-art
technology, this test detects
297
00:18:23,798 --> 00:18:26,540
the presence of the D-type gene
298
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:28,237
So if you'’re suffering
299
00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:30,805
from chronic rejection
and heartbreak,
300
00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:33,242
book your appointment today.
301
00:18:49,693 --> 00:18:51,869
Hello.
302
00:18:51,913 --> 00:18:54,002
I'’m here for an appointment.
303
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:56,700
Fill that out and come back.
304
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,771
Waiting room D.
305
00:19:23,814 --> 00:19:25,729
Down the hall on the right.
306
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:33,215
Please take a seat.
We'’re about to begin.
307
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:38,438
Hello, everyone.
My name is Dr. Elsa Blomgren,
308
00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:42,181
and I'’m thrilled to be here
with you today.
309
00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:46,054
I know a lot of you
feel like losers.
310
00:19:46,097 --> 00:19:48,535
Well, I am here for you.
311
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:51,712
You'’ve often felt
disappointed with life.
312
00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:53,279
You try not to get too excited
313
00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,237
when something good
happens to you,
314
00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:58,197
because you
know it won'’t last.
315
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,590
And you'’ve never won a contest
316
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:04,638
or a board game
or even a scratch card.
317
00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:08,424
Every single person with whom
you'’ve fallen in love
318
00:20:08,468 --> 00:20:09,643
has left you.
319
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:16,040
Even your childhood pet
ran away.
320
00:20:16,084 --> 00:20:18,391
Testing positive
is nothing to be scared of.
321
00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:22,308
In study after study, Epigenica
patented hobby therapy
322
00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:26,790
has been proven to release
the same endorphins as sex.
323
00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:29,358
Although it may seem daunting
never to date again,
324
00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:32,666
95 percent of patients
say their quality of life
325
00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:36,409
has improved drastically with
celibacy and hobby therapy.
326
00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:40,195
Sorry, madam, I need
to ask you to step outside.
327
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,502
Your card was declined.
You can'’t be in that room.
328
00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:45,026
I was told to go in there
by the lady at the desk.
329
00:20:45,069 --> 00:20:47,071
That may be,
but this isn'’t a charity.
330
00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:49,726
It'’s a private
research facility.
331
00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:52,686
If you can'’t afford the
therapy, you can'’t be tested.
332
00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:11,922
This is Epigenica, the world leader in Type D testing.
333
00:21:11,966 --> 00:21:15,143
Oh, yes, hello.
Um, my name is Martha,
334
00:21:15,186 --> 00:21:17,667
and I'’m calling
from Scientist Today.
335
00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:20,801
Uh, I would like to talk
to Dr. Elsa Blomgren
336
00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:22,324
or Dr. Richard Breakwell.
337
00:21:22,368 --> 00:21:23,847
One moment please.
338
00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:31,507
- This is Dr. Elsa Blomgren.
- Yes, hello.
339
00:21:31,551 --> 00:21:34,989
My name is, uh, Martha
from Scientist Today.
340
00:21:35,032 --> 00:21:38,645
We'’re very excited
about your, um-- Your study,
341
00:21:38,688 --> 00:21:40,037
and we would like to run
342
00:21:40,081 --> 00:21:42,605
a human-interest piece
in our magazine
343
00:21:42,649 --> 00:21:44,477
with your paper alongside it.
344
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,261
And we were thinking
345
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:49,873
that maybe, um, a journalist
could be tested for these genes.
346
00:21:53,921 --> 00:21:57,794
Actually, could-- Could we make
that a couple of journalists?
347
00:21:57,838 --> 00:21:59,405
We can probably
accommodate that.
348
00:21:59,448 --> 00:22:02,886
Okay, great! Um, great.
349
00:22:09,806 --> 00:22:11,765
Oh! Oh!
350
00:22:11,808 --> 00:22:13,854
Frankie! Frankie!
351
00:22:13,897 --> 00:22:16,378
You'’ll never guess
what happened last night.
352
00:22:16,422 --> 00:22:18,902
I went for a drink
with that intern.
353
00:22:18,946 --> 00:22:20,904
You know, the sexy one.
354
00:22:20,948 --> 00:22:24,473
Well, he ended up
staying the night.
355
00:22:24,517 --> 00:22:26,040
It was amazing!
356
00:22:26,083 --> 00:22:27,563
Oh, my God,
here he is now!
357
00:22:27,607 --> 00:22:30,305
Do I look all right?
358
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:32,438
- Yes, you look great.
- Okay.
359
00:22:46,147 --> 00:22:47,757
Oh.
360
00:22:49,063 --> 00:22:50,281
Come with me.
361
00:22:50,325 --> 00:22:52,762
I think John the intern
just blanked you
362
00:22:52,806 --> 00:22:56,113
because of a medical condition
that you have.
363
00:22:56,157 --> 00:22:57,854
My eczema?
364
00:22:57,898 --> 00:23:00,466
This is something completely
different. It'’s something...
365
00:23:00,509 --> 00:23:01,902
I think I might have too.
366
00:23:01,945 --> 00:23:06,689
It'’s kind of, um,
a gene that means
367
00:23:06,733 --> 00:23:09,953
that we will always
and forever be dumped.
368
00:23:12,216 --> 00:23:15,611
A gene that makes us get dumped.
369
00:23:16,917 --> 00:23:18,788
God!
370
00:23:18,832 --> 00:23:20,921
I thought you were
being serious.
371
00:23:20,964 --> 00:23:22,749
I am serious. Just think
about it for a minute.
372
00:23:22,792 --> 00:23:25,229
I mean, there are
people in life, right,
373
00:23:25,273 --> 00:23:28,015
who are successful in every
single area of their life
374
00:23:28,058 --> 00:23:29,886
again and again and again,
375
00:23:29,930 --> 00:23:32,019
and then there are
people like us.
376
00:23:32,062 --> 00:23:35,109
It'’s not luck or chance
or anything like that.
377
00:23:35,152 --> 00:23:36,806
I think it'’s this gene.
378
00:23:38,808 --> 00:23:42,029
- I-- I don'’t know about this.
- Deb, we'’ll do it together.
379
00:23:44,031 --> 00:23:46,207
Put this end on your finger.
380
00:23:46,250 --> 00:23:48,514
And then push the other end.
381
00:23:49,906 --> 00:23:52,648
One, two, three,
382
00:23:52,692 --> 00:23:53,997
Ouch!
383
00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:55,869
- You okay?
- Stings.
384
00:23:57,348 --> 00:23:59,133
You have tested positive
385
00:23:59,176 --> 00:24:00,743
for the Type D gene.
386
00:24:02,528 --> 00:24:04,965
The dumpee gene.
We have the dumpee gene.
387
00:24:19,675 --> 00:24:21,155
FRANKIE:Thomas!
388
00:24:27,857 --> 00:24:30,033
Frankie, hi.
389
00:24:32,906 --> 00:24:34,777
How are you?
390
00:24:34,821 --> 00:24:36,170
- I'’m okay.
- Listen,
391
00:24:36,213 --> 00:24:39,042
I should have been
in contact sooner.
392
00:24:39,086 --> 00:24:40,957
And I'’m really glad
you'’re here today
393
00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:42,655
for this chance meeting.
394
00:24:43,743 --> 00:24:45,005
You are?
Yes.
395
00:24:45,048 --> 00:24:47,834
I want to say sorry to you.
396
00:24:47,877 --> 00:24:50,401
I never wanted to hurt you
or anything like that.
397
00:24:50,445 --> 00:24:52,752
And I do still
really care about you.
398
00:24:54,275 --> 00:24:56,103
Thank you for your apology.
399
00:24:58,061 --> 00:24:59,410
I, um...
400
00:24:59,454 --> 00:25:01,195
I wanted to see you today,
401
00:25:01,238 --> 00:25:04,067
because I'’ve come across
some information about myself.
402
00:25:04,111 --> 00:25:05,895
It'’s, um, medical information,
403
00:25:05,939 --> 00:25:09,072
and I think
it explains quite a lot.
404
00:25:09,116 --> 00:25:11,814
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
Do I need to get tested?
405
00:25:11,858 --> 00:25:14,425
Oh, no. No, no. It'’s nothing--
Nothing like that.
406
00:25:14,469 --> 00:25:16,993
- Oh. Good.
- No, it'’s information
407
00:25:17,037 --> 00:25:21,737
that suggests maybe you didn'’t
want to break up with me
408
00:25:21,781 --> 00:25:25,567
but you were forced to
by factors beyond your control.
409
00:25:25,611 --> 00:25:28,178
Frankie, you are
a wonderful woman.
410
00:25:28,222 --> 00:25:30,093
One day you'’ll make
somebody very happy,
411
00:25:30,137 --> 00:25:31,747
but that will not be me.
412
00:25:31,791 --> 00:25:33,444
I do not deserve you. Now, I--
413
00:25:33,488 --> 00:25:35,490
- I really have to be somewhere.
- No, no.
414
00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:37,797
If you could just give
me five-- Five more minutes.
415
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,060
I have to-- Sorry.
416
00:25:49,112 --> 00:25:51,941
There are certain breakups that stick in your mind
417
00:25:51,985 --> 00:25:55,075
because of their traumatic,
dreadful nature.
418
00:25:55,118 --> 00:25:57,294
There are certain people
that even after years
419
00:25:57,338 --> 00:25:58,513
you wouldn'’t wanna run into.
420
00:26:00,733 --> 00:26:03,431
And one of those people
was Oliver.
421
00:26:03,474 --> 00:26:05,085
Oliver was so creative
422
00:26:05,128 --> 00:26:08,479
and very open
about his feelings.
423
00:26:08,523 --> 00:26:10,133
We'’d talk for hours.
424
00:26:10,177 --> 00:26:11,831
We went out for five months,
425
00:26:11,874 --> 00:26:14,137
which was a record
at our school.
426
00:26:14,181 --> 00:26:16,575
Oliver used to love
making up little songs.
427
00:26:16,618 --> 00:26:18,968
And when he told me
he'’d written one for me,
428
00:26:19,012 --> 00:26:20,317
I was so excited.
429
00:26:20,361 --> 00:26:22,406
♪ Frankie
430
00:26:22,450 --> 00:26:25,453
♪ Your face is beautiful
431
00:26:25,496 --> 00:26:29,370
♪ And your eyes put me
In the biggest trance ♪
432
00:26:30,980 --> 00:26:33,374
♪ You'’ve been on my mind ♪
433
00:26:33,417 --> 00:26:36,377
♪ Till last Thursday
434
00:26:36,420 --> 00:26:39,859
♪ Which is
Oh, when I saw you dance ♪
435
00:26:41,730 --> 00:26:44,254
♪ You'’ve got two left feet
No sense of beat ♪
436
00:26:44,298 --> 00:26:46,996
♪ You make me
Want to go retreat ♪
437
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:48,781
♪ Your mom'’s your chaperone ♪
438
00:26:48,824 --> 00:26:52,045
♪ Hanging round like
An old Toblerone ♪
439
00:26:52,088 --> 00:26:56,266
♪ But do I care about
Any stupid things like that? ♪
440
00:26:56,310 --> 00:26:58,051
Yeah.
441
00:26:58,094 --> 00:26:59,792
♪ I could do better than you
442
00:26:59,835 --> 00:27:02,011
♪ So much better
443
00:27:02,055 --> 00:27:03,970
♪ Plenty more fish in the sea
For me ♪
444
00:27:04,013 --> 00:27:06,929
♪ I could do better than you
A chunk of cheddar will do ♪
445
00:27:06,973 --> 00:27:09,932
♪ A slice of bread with cheese
And pickles better than you ♪
446
00:27:09,976 --> 00:27:13,066
♪ I liked you last week
But I don'’t like you now ♪
447
00:27:13,109 --> 00:27:17,374
♪ I could do better than you
So much better ♪
448
00:27:17,418 --> 00:27:19,463
♪ Plenty more fish in the sea
For me... ♪
449
00:27:19,507 --> 00:27:21,857
The song went viral.
450
00:27:21,901 --> 00:27:24,599
Four million people
watched Oliver'’s rendition
451
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:28,168
of "Goodbye Frankie," including
all the kids at my school.
452
00:27:28,211 --> 00:27:29,735
♪...now
453
00:27:29,778 --> 00:27:31,345
It was awful.
454
00:27:46,273 --> 00:27:47,840
Hello.
455
00:27:47,883 --> 00:27:49,145
If you see a white mouse,
456
00:27:49,189 --> 00:27:50,799
please let me know immediately.
457
00:27:50,843 --> 00:27:52,671
Barnaby left
the cage door open,
458
00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:55,891
and all the subjects
for the experiment escaped.
459
00:27:55,935 --> 00:27:58,546
- I need to speak to you.
- I'’m not really supposed to be
460
00:27:58,589 --> 00:28:00,896
speaking to you.
I did inform you before.
461
00:28:00,940 --> 00:28:05,553
That is ridiculous. But anyway,
look, this is very important.
462
00:28:05,596 --> 00:28:08,208
That gene you mentioned,
well, I got tested,
463
00:28:08,251 --> 00:28:10,123
and you'’re right,
I tested positive.
464
00:28:10,166 --> 00:28:12,734
- How did you get tested?
- I called up the scientists
465
00:28:12,778 --> 00:28:14,388
and pretended
to be a journalist.
466
00:28:14,431 --> 00:28:16,869
And then--
Then they sent me these.
467
00:28:21,569 --> 00:28:23,614
What am I supposed to do?
468
00:28:23,658 --> 00:28:26,052
I mean, what'’s the point
of going out with someone
469
00:28:26,095 --> 00:28:27,618
if you know
how it'’s gonna end?
470
00:28:27,662 --> 00:28:29,751
And the scientists
say there'’s no cure.
471
00:28:29,795 --> 00:28:33,233
They just recommend
celibacy and hobby therapy.
472
00:28:33,276 --> 00:28:35,801
I don'’t want to be
in this category.
473
00:28:35,844 --> 00:28:38,325
I wanna be in the other category
of people in life.
474
00:28:43,809 --> 00:28:45,593
- Hello?
-It'’s an emergency.
475
00:28:45,636 --> 00:28:48,335
Uh, yes, I'’m on my way. Marianne needs a yogurt.
476
00:28:53,427 --> 00:28:56,386
Uh, can you come
to an emergency meeting?
477
00:28:56,430 --> 00:28:58,171
Right now.
478
00:28:58,214 --> 00:29:00,739
An emergency meeting for what?
479
00:29:00,782 --> 00:29:04,133
Debra'’s told us about some gene
she thinks we might all have
480
00:29:04,177 --> 00:29:06,745
- that affects our love lives?
- I only told two of them.
481
00:29:07,833 --> 00:29:10,052
Then they blabbed.
482
00:29:10,096 --> 00:29:13,752
I haven'’t got the loser gene.
Some of youse might have it.
483
00:29:13,795 --> 00:29:16,319
- Deepak definitely has it.
- I don'’t have it!
484
00:29:16,363 --> 00:29:19,018
In fact,
there'’s a few more journalists
485
00:29:19,061 --> 00:29:20,497
who would like to be tested
486
00:29:20,541 --> 00:29:24,023
and then write
human-interest pieces.
487
00:29:24,066 --> 00:29:25,807
Yes. So if, um--
488
00:29:25,851 --> 00:29:29,202
If you could just send
over a few more tests or...
489
00:29:29,245 --> 00:29:30,986
Or maybe just a large box.
490
00:29:31,030 --> 00:29:33,467
You have tested positive
491
00:29:33,510 --> 00:29:34,947
for the Type D gene.
492
00:29:46,915 --> 00:29:49,178
Marianne wants to know
why you'’re all
493
00:29:49,222 --> 00:29:51,485
not at her promotion
and engagement party.
494
00:29:53,182 --> 00:29:55,184
Um, we were just on our way.
495
00:30:01,712 --> 00:30:04,193
There must be
some kind of mistake.
496
00:30:04,237 --> 00:30:07,675
I mean, me? Me?
497
00:30:07,718 --> 00:30:10,373
Before, there was
always the possibility
498
00:30:10,417 --> 00:30:13,463
that things might get better,
499
00:30:13,507 --> 00:30:15,161
but now we know...
500
00:30:16,249 --> 00:30:18,164
they never will.
501
00:30:20,340 --> 00:30:22,908
But I have
so much love to give.
502
00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:32,352
A massive explosion tore
through the Epigenica lab
503
00:30:32,395 --> 00:30:34,267
in north London last night,
504
00:30:34,310 --> 00:30:37,792
killing leading scientist
Richard Breakwell.
505
00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:40,186
His fellow prize winner
Elsa Blomgren
506
00:30:40,229 --> 00:30:41,840
is currently in a coma.
507
00:30:41,883 --> 00:30:44,277
The two scientists were
reportedly close
508
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,366
to curing a genetic defect
509
00:30:46,409 --> 00:30:48,542
that affects one third
of the population,
510
00:30:48,585 --> 00:30:52,502
but all of their research was
destroyed in the explosion.
511
00:30:52,546 --> 00:30:55,114
Dr. Blomgren remains
in intensive care
512
00:30:55,157 --> 00:30:57,072
at St. James'’ Hospital.
513
00:31:05,428 --> 00:31:07,039
Can I help you?
514
00:31:07,082 --> 00:31:09,302
Yes, I'’m just looking
for a patient.
515
00:31:09,345 --> 00:31:11,086
Uh, Elsa Blomgren.
516
00:31:13,959 --> 00:31:17,266
Okay, well, you can'’t
just walk into wards.
517
00:31:17,310 --> 00:31:19,442
Are you a family member?
518
00:31:19,486 --> 00:31:22,097
Yes, I'’m-- I'm her niece.
519
00:31:39,854 --> 00:31:42,291
Even though
your genius discovery
520
00:31:42,335 --> 00:31:43,684
totally ruined my life,
521
00:31:43,727 --> 00:31:45,860
I'’m sorry this happened to you.
522
00:31:47,470 --> 00:31:50,169
Is there anyone else
working on a cure?
523
00:31:51,474 --> 00:31:53,694
Just tap your finger for yes.
524
00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:31,036
Thank you for coming.
Please take a seat.
525
00:32:32,211 --> 00:32:33,516
After I saw you last,
526
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:36,302
Barnaby and I decided
to test ourselves.
527
00:32:36,345 --> 00:32:38,434
Strictly
for scientific purposes.
528
00:32:38,478 --> 00:32:40,393
But our result was surprising.
529
00:32:40,436 --> 00:32:42,830
We didn'’t test positive
for either gene.
530
00:32:46,051 --> 00:32:48,488
I decided to do
a controlled experiment.
531
00:32:48,531 --> 00:32:50,577
We tested all the boys
in upper fourth.
532
00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:53,580
They also didn'’t appear
to have either gene.
533
00:32:53,623 --> 00:32:55,756
All except one.
534
00:32:55,799 --> 00:32:57,671
Hugo Humphries.
535
00:32:57,714 --> 00:32:59,151
He has the dumpee gene,
536
00:32:59,194 --> 00:33:00,500
just like you.
537
00:33:00,543 --> 00:33:02,328
On investigation,
538
00:33:02,371 --> 00:33:05,984
it turned out Hugo
recently went out with a girl,
539
00:33:06,027 --> 00:33:09,074
a family friend called Jenny
during an Easter holiday.
540
00:33:09,117 --> 00:33:12,555
And Jenny broke up with Hugo
on his return to school.
541
00:33:12,599 --> 00:33:14,862
Here is a list of boys
in upper fourth
542
00:33:14,905 --> 00:33:16,472
who haven'’t had a romance.
543
00:33:18,735 --> 00:33:21,738
Here is a list of boys in upper
fourth who have had a romance.
544
00:33:23,566 --> 00:33:27,048
And look again
at their results for the gene.
545
00:33:27,092 --> 00:33:28,702
Is it a coincidence?
546
00:33:28,745 --> 00:33:31,531
Or could Hugo'’s first
romantic disappointment
547
00:33:31,574 --> 00:33:33,054
be some kind of trigger,
548
00:33:33,098 --> 00:33:34,925
activating
the heretofore passive gene?
549
00:33:36,666 --> 00:33:39,452
I propose that the outcome
of your first romance
550
00:33:39,495 --> 00:33:41,367
- sets a pattern.
- Your first romance?
551
00:33:41,410 --> 00:33:44,283
There will be an opportunity
for questions at the end.
552
00:33:44,326 --> 00:33:47,025
If an event can trigger
the gene to switch on,
553
00:33:47,068 --> 00:33:49,027
then surely
reversing the same event
554
00:33:49,070 --> 00:33:51,507
can trigger the gene
to switch off.
555
00:33:52,987 --> 00:33:55,555
There is a way
to change category...
556
00:33:55,598 --> 00:33:58,036
by dumping everyone
who'’s ever dumped you,
557
00:33:58,079 --> 00:34:01,082
thereby effectively
reversing history.
558
00:34:01,126 --> 00:34:05,260
If this works, then this would
change the world as we know it.
559
00:34:05,304 --> 00:34:07,567
It would open the door
to switching off genes
560
00:34:07,610 --> 00:34:09,482
for cancer and other diseases.
561
00:34:09,525 --> 00:34:11,223
It will save millions of lives
562
00:34:11,266 --> 00:34:14,182
and be one of the most important
scientific discoveries
563
00:34:14,226 --> 00:34:15,618
of the modern age.
564
00:34:15,662 --> 00:34:18,447
Now, are there any questions?
565
00:34:18,491 --> 00:34:20,797
Do you honestly think
this will work?
566
00:34:20,841 --> 00:34:22,712
It'’s already worked
for Hugo Humphries.
567
00:34:22,756 --> 00:34:24,714
Hugo got Jenny
to date him again
568
00:34:24,758 --> 00:34:27,021
and dumped her immediately.
After breaking up with Jenny,
569
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:28,892
Hugo tested negative
for the gene.
570
00:34:28,936 --> 00:34:30,807
And look at this graph.
571
00:34:32,809 --> 00:34:34,115
In the days that followed,
572
00:34:34,159 --> 00:34:36,422
Hugo scored 14 goals
in the away match.
573
00:34:36,465 --> 00:34:37,988
He normally scores zero.
574
00:34:38,032 --> 00:34:40,643
He inherited £3000
from a distance great aunt
575
00:34:40,687 --> 00:34:43,037
and he has a new girlfriend
called Laura,
576
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,865
who he met
at the ice cream parlor.
577
00:34:44,908 --> 00:34:47,085
- Okay.
- I'’m going to submit this
578
00:34:47,128 --> 00:34:48,608
to the Blackfriars
school science prize.
579
00:34:48,651 --> 00:34:50,044
I'’d like you to be
the second subject.
580
00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:54,179
You'’ll need to dump
everyone by the 23rd,
581
00:34:54,222 --> 00:34:58,357
and I'’ll need you
to sign this... there.
582
00:35:00,359 --> 00:35:03,536
It'’s just that
he only had to dump one person.
583
00:35:03,579 --> 00:35:05,494
I would have to dump
quite a few.
584
00:35:05,538 --> 00:35:08,106
I'’m sure you could do it
if you put your mind to it.
585
00:35:08,149 --> 00:35:10,369
Can you date it as well?
Just there.
586
00:35:10,412 --> 00:35:11,935
Well, what if they'’re married?
587
00:35:11,979 --> 00:35:14,851
Or... Or if they live
in Australia?
588
00:35:14,895 --> 00:35:17,463
I mean, my first boyfriend
was before we moved out,
589
00:35:17,506 --> 00:35:20,422
so I'’d have to fly
all the way back there.
590
00:35:20,466 --> 00:35:24,339
Or... Or if they just
don'’t like me?
591
00:35:24,383 --> 00:35:27,908
I'’d have to get Thomas to break
up with Cecilia for me
592
00:35:27,951 --> 00:35:29,344
and then dump him.
593
00:35:29,388 --> 00:35:30,693
It'’s impossible.
594
00:35:30,737 --> 00:35:33,522
How many are there anyway?
Two? Three?
595
00:35:33,566 --> 00:35:36,612
Mm... Uh...
596
00:35:41,617 --> 00:35:43,271
I didn'’t imagine this many.
597
00:35:44,968 --> 00:35:46,796
No, it won'’t work.
598
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:48,885
It'’d take forever.
599
00:35:48,929 --> 00:35:51,105
We'’ll just have to look
for another subject.
600
00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:54,456
And you'’ll just have to stay
a dumpee. Thanks anyway, though.
601
00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:55,762
- Bye-bye.
- No, no, no!
602
00:35:55,805 --> 00:35:58,199
I don'’t want to stay a dumpee.
603
00:35:58,243 --> 00:36:01,115
I can give this a real try.
I'’ll give it a go.
604
00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:03,465
No, it would take a lifetime.
605
00:36:03,509 --> 00:36:05,641
Well, there'’s not that many.
606
00:36:05,685 --> 00:36:09,776
I mean, it'’s not impossible.
Not if I put my mind to it.
607
00:36:09,819 --> 00:36:12,213
I mean, that first one.
He might be in Australia,
608
00:36:12,257 --> 00:36:13,780
but that'’s--
That'’s a short flight.
609
00:36:13,823 --> 00:36:15,738
And scientific progress
is difficult.
610
00:36:15,782 --> 00:36:17,131
You said that yourself.
611
00:36:26,140 --> 00:36:28,751
So, what we have to do
is dump everyone
612
00:36:28,795 --> 00:36:30,144
who'’s ever dumped us.
613
00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:31,928
And then we reverse
the genetic pattern.
614
00:36:33,278 --> 00:36:35,628
- Everyone who'’s ever dumped us?
- Yes.
615
00:36:35,671 --> 00:36:37,238
- All of them?
- Yes.
616
00:36:37,282 --> 00:36:40,110
Do you want your luck
to go up this steeply?
617
00:36:40,154 --> 00:36:43,244
-Yes.
- This boy'’s whole life changed.
618
00:36:43,288 --> 00:36:46,160
And it can happen for us too.
619
00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:49,642
Yeah, but, but this boy
only had to dump one person.
620
00:36:49,685 --> 00:36:51,252
We'’d have to dump loads.
621
00:36:51,296 --> 00:36:53,602
I wouldn'’t know where to begin.
622
00:36:53,646 --> 00:36:56,736
- Can we not just dump one?
- One would be more manageable.
623
00:36:56,779 --> 00:36:59,652
Look, we have
a chance to change everything.
624
00:36:59,695 --> 00:37:01,175
And this sort of unwillingness
625
00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:02,959
is reflective
of a self-defeating attitude,
626
00:37:03,003 --> 00:37:06,136
which is gonna keep you dumpees.
627
00:37:06,180 --> 00:37:09,531
We are never going
to love someone again.
628
00:37:09,575 --> 00:37:12,186
And no one is
ever going to love us again.
629
00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:13,796
And instead
we'’re going to what?
630
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:15,798
We'’re going to make mosaics?
631
00:37:15,842 --> 00:37:18,540
This is a chance
to change everything.
632
00:37:18,584 --> 00:37:21,326
And you'’re not going to take it
because it'’s too much effort.
633
00:37:21,369 --> 00:37:23,284
Yo, what'’s happening?
Miss anything?
634
00:37:23,328 --> 00:37:26,679
Yes. Yes, you did.
There'’s a cure for the gene.
635
00:37:26,722 --> 00:37:28,289
Wow! Yeah, tell me.
636
00:37:28,333 --> 00:37:30,639
We go out with everyone
we'’ve ever been out with
637
00:37:30,683 --> 00:37:32,162
and then we dump them.
638
00:37:33,642 --> 00:37:36,036
Yeah, let'’s do it.
I can do that.
639
00:37:36,079 --> 00:37:38,691
I'’ll just call and say,
"Hey babe, you'’re dumped."
640
00:37:38,734 --> 00:37:40,736
Done, gone. Just give me a day.
641
00:37:40,780 --> 00:37:43,826
- Okay, great. So Kevin'’s in.
- Yeah!
642
00:37:43,870 --> 00:37:45,480
The rest of you
can stay dumpees.
643
00:37:45,524 --> 00:37:47,613
Whoa, wait.
I don'’t wanna get left behind.
644
00:37:47,656 --> 00:37:49,832
I mean, if you and Kevin
are both doing it...
645
00:37:49,876 --> 00:37:52,095
I'’ll try it.
646
00:37:52,139 --> 00:37:55,055
In that case,
I will do it as well.
647
00:37:55,098 --> 00:37:57,362
Well, if it'’s the only way.
648
00:37:57,405 --> 00:37:58,711
Okay, great.
649
00:37:58,754 --> 00:38:00,452
Great! Let'’s get cracking.
650
00:38:00,495 --> 00:38:01,714
Let'’s do this!
651
00:38:01,757 --> 00:38:04,107
I'’m gonna find both of them!
652
00:38:08,764 --> 00:38:10,723
Well, if everybody else is in...
653
00:38:10,766 --> 00:38:15,336
It must be what, 35 years?
How are you?
654
00:38:15,380 --> 00:38:17,120
It'’s great
to hear your voice again.
655
00:38:17,164 --> 00:38:20,036
I shaved a love heart
on your cat.
656
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:23,170
Hi. Yeah.
Thought you'’d remember that.
657
00:38:23,213 --> 00:38:25,868
How are you? How'’s the cat?
658
00:38:25,912 --> 00:38:28,697
We were engaged to be married.
659
00:38:28,741 --> 00:38:33,528
And then you saw my face
and you ran away from the altar.
660
00:38:42,798 --> 00:38:44,844
Gary Wild.
661
00:38:44,887 --> 00:38:47,673
I wonder
what he'’s up to these days.
662
00:38:47,716 --> 00:38:49,457
I haven'’t seen him
663
00:38:49,501 --> 00:38:51,633
since he rode off
on his brother'’s motorbike
664
00:38:51,677 --> 00:38:53,243
to go on
the trip of a lifetime.
665
00:38:53,287 --> 00:38:55,594
Maybe he'’s become
a storm chaser
666
00:38:55,637 --> 00:38:56,856
or a bush pilot.
667
00:38:56,899 --> 00:38:58,858
Ah, he'’s obviously doing well.
668
00:38:58,901 --> 00:39:00,729
That'’s a nice part of the city.
669
00:39:00,773 --> 00:39:01,948
Uh-oh.
670
00:39:03,732 --> 00:39:05,473
Oh, no.
671
00:39:15,222 --> 00:39:17,703
Just wanna let you ladies know,
672
00:39:17,746 --> 00:39:20,749
I'’m meeting Tracey Elms
for lunch tomorrow.
673
00:39:20,793 --> 00:39:23,230
Yeah, and I'’m seeing
Jill on Tuesday,
674
00:39:23,273 --> 00:39:26,494
my first girlfriend from my days
at Wakenhearst Grammar.
675
00:39:26,538 --> 00:39:28,931
We'’re not gonna be
dumpees for long.
676
00:39:43,729 --> 00:39:46,209
"So you'’re looking
to win back your ex?
677
00:39:46,253 --> 00:39:49,474
"Don'’t be fooled by
what the other books say.
678
00:39:49,517 --> 00:39:52,433
"This is going to be
very difficult.
679
00:39:52,477 --> 00:39:54,130
"Your ex has gotten to know you
680
00:39:54,174 --> 00:39:56,655
"and all your annoying habits
and hang-ups,
681
00:39:56,698 --> 00:40:00,876
"so they won'’t be fooled by a
new blouse or a fancy haircut.
682
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:04,793
To win them back,
you have to be very clever."
683
00:40:07,927 --> 00:40:10,451
There is somebody
684
00:40:10,495 --> 00:40:13,759
in the room with us.
685
00:40:13,802 --> 00:40:16,936
I hear a name.
686
00:40:16,979 --> 00:40:18,851
Sam...
687
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:21,419
David?
688
00:40:22,594 --> 00:40:23,812
Tony?
689
00:40:23,856 --> 00:40:25,292
Mike.
690
00:40:26,380 --> 00:40:27,947
Harold...
691
00:40:27,990 --> 00:40:29,296
Tim...
692
00:40:30,515 --> 00:40:32,865
Stephen, Gary--
693
00:40:32,908 --> 00:40:34,432
Oh, yes, Gary.
694
00:40:35,998 --> 00:40:38,740
Oh! Yes, Gary!
695
00:40:42,048 --> 00:40:44,224
I see a car.
696
00:40:44,267 --> 00:40:46,574
A red one.
697
00:40:46,618 --> 00:40:49,447
Oh, the stereo is broken.
698
00:40:49,490 --> 00:40:51,884
Yes, yes.
That was his brother'’s.
699
00:40:51,927 --> 00:40:55,061
He, he used to take it
for joyrides sometimes.
700
00:40:55,104 --> 00:40:57,803
I did go along once,
but I got a bit scared
701
00:40:57,846 --> 00:40:59,805
and made him go
at 30 miles an hour.
702
00:40:59,848 --> 00:41:01,937
Oh, yeah.
703
00:41:01,981 --> 00:41:05,375
Oh, there is an aura around you.
704
00:41:05,419 --> 00:41:07,943
It'’s gray.
705
00:41:07,987 --> 00:41:09,249
Gray?
706
00:41:11,207 --> 00:41:13,514
What color
are other people'’s auras?
707
00:41:13,558 --> 00:41:15,168
Different colors.
708
00:41:15,211 --> 00:41:19,172
Every color in the rainbow.
709
00:41:19,215 --> 00:41:21,957
- Is gray in the rainbow?
- Be quiet.
710
00:41:22,001 --> 00:41:24,830
So I have a question
I'’d like to ask him.
711
00:41:24,873 --> 00:41:29,617
I cannot give message.
712
00:41:29,661 --> 00:41:33,534
I can only receive.
713
00:41:33,578 --> 00:41:36,450
But this is very important.
I must ask him this question.
714
00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:39,888
If it'’s important,
you should have asked him
715
00:41:39,932 --> 00:41:41,455
when he was leaving.
716
00:41:41,499 --> 00:41:46,852
Now, you will have
gray aura all your life...
717
00:41:48,941 --> 00:41:50,508
unless...
718
00:41:51,987 --> 00:41:54,947
you buy special crystal.
719
00:41:57,950 --> 00:41:59,865
"Step one:
720
00:41:59,908 --> 00:42:01,823
"Try to casually
contact your ex
721
00:42:01,867 --> 00:42:04,739
"about something practical
and non-emotional,
722
00:42:04,783 --> 00:42:06,828
"whilst emphasizing
that the relationship
723
00:42:06,872 --> 00:42:08,395
"is definitely over,
724
00:42:08,438 --> 00:42:10,702
like it was
your decision all along."
725
00:42:22,627 --> 00:42:23,758
Hello?
726
00:42:50,132 --> 00:42:51,699
Oh, God.
727
00:42:51,743 --> 00:42:53,222
Who is it?
728
00:43:12,633 --> 00:43:13,808
Gary?
729
00:43:16,071 --> 00:43:17,290
You...
730
00:43:17,333 --> 00:43:19,814
You were, uh, there today?
731
00:43:25,037 --> 00:43:27,996
Um, I'’m sorry
to hear about the accident.
732
00:43:32,740 --> 00:43:34,002
I-- I wanted
733
00:43:34,046 --> 00:43:35,656
to get in contact with you today
734
00:43:35,700 --> 00:43:38,137
because I wanted
to ask you a question.
735
00:43:39,355 --> 00:43:42,794
Well, I think about you often.
736
00:43:42,837 --> 00:43:46,754
And I know it'’s been
a really long time.
737
00:43:48,147 --> 00:43:50,149
And we might face
some challenges,
738
00:43:50,192 --> 00:43:52,064
but I'’ve done
long distance before,
739
00:43:52,107 --> 00:43:54,632
and I think we could
overcome those challenges.
740
00:43:56,503 --> 00:43:58,810
I guess what I'’m asking is...
741
00:44:01,421 --> 00:44:04,380
do you wanna
give it another shot?
742
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:11,344
I don'’t mind that you're dead,
if that'’s what you're thinking.
743
00:44:14,086 --> 00:44:16,654
Gary, are you still there?
744
00:44:17,742 --> 00:44:19,091
Gary?
745
00:44:48,990 --> 00:44:50,252
Gary!
746
00:44:50,296 --> 00:44:52,646
Does it count
if I go out with her
747
00:44:52,690 --> 00:44:53,995
when she'’s still married,
748
00:44:54,039 --> 00:44:56,128
or do I have to wait
for her to leave him?
749
00:44:56,171 --> 00:44:57,782
- I think it'’ll still count.
- Oh.
750
00:44:57,825 --> 00:45:00,088
I don'’t know
how I'’m gonna get him alone,
751
00:45:00,132 --> 00:45:01,655
unless I move into the hostel.
752
00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:04,049
Maybe I should do that.
753
00:45:04,092 --> 00:45:06,704
She lives with her husband
and his family, so it'’s--
754
00:45:06,747 --> 00:45:08,053
So it'’s very tricky.
755
00:45:10,185 --> 00:45:11,404
Gary.
756
00:45:11,447 --> 00:45:13,536
I think we should talk.
757
00:45:14,624 --> 00:45:15,887
About us.
758
00:45:15,930 --> 00:45:18,498
And where this is going.
759
00:45:19,978 --> 00:45:22,241
I really like you.
760
00:45:22,284 --> 00:45:25,418
And it'’s been
a lot of fun having you around,
761
00:45:25,461 --> 00:45:28,377
but I'’m not sure
that this is what I want,
762
00:45:28,421 --> 00:45:31,206
you know, long term.
763
00:45:31,250 --> 00:45:34,470
So I think that we should...
764
00:45:34,514 --> 00:45:36,081
That we should break up.
765
00:45:42,087 --> 00:45:44,480
You can still come around
and haunt the place.
766
00:45:46,221 --> 00:45:48,789
I felt bad about breaking up with Gary.
767
00:45:48,833 --> 00:45:51,487
I mean, it'’s not like
he'’s gonna meet anyone else.
768
00:45:51,531 --> 00:45:53,881
Maybe another ghost perhaps.
769
00:45:53,925 --> 00:45:55,622
All that time
I'’d spent regretting
770
00:45:55,665 --> 00:45:57,798
not going
on the trip of a lifetime,
771
00:45:57,842 --> 00:46:00,801
and if I'’d gone,
I would have ended up dead.
772
00:46:00,845 --> 00:46:04,283
I hoped Gary would find
someone nice to haunt.
773
00:46:04,326 --> 00:46:06,328
And now I could move forward.
774
00:46:06,372 --> 00:46:09,070
I was now
one-twelfth less loser.
775
00:46:09,114 --> 00:46:10,332
And it felt good.
776
00:46:10,376 --> 00:46:13,292
Oliver, you'’re up next.
777
00:46:13,335 --> 00:46:16,338
Out of all the people
I hoped to never see again,
778
00:46:16,382 --> 00:46:18,210
Oliver was top of that list.
779
00:46:18,253 --> 00:46:19,820
That awful song he wrote me
780
00:46:19,864 --> 00:46:22,257
that was also annoyingly
kind of catchy,
781
00:46:22,301 --> 00:46:25,304
turns out he'’s been living in
London for the last four years.
782
00:46:25,347 --> 00:46:28,960
So I wrote him an e-mail to see
if he'’d like to meet up.
783
00:46:29,003 --> 00:46:31,310
When I saw your name
in my email inbox,
784
00:46:31,353 --> 00:46:36,228
I was like, "Wow! Oh, wow!"
785
00:46:36,271 --> 00:46:37,795
I mean, it was like sunshine
786
00:46:37,838 --> 00:46:39,622
just bursting
through the clouds.
787
00:46:39,666 --> 00:46:43,104
'’Cause I had not thought of you
once in all those years,
788
00:46:43,148 --> 00:46:45,367
since I last saw you,
not even a little bit.
789
00:46:45,411 --> 00:46:47,195
You know, crazy.
790
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:50,459
But then I realized, I may not
have been thinking about you,
791
00:46:50,503 --> 00:46:51,983
but I was thinking about you.
792
00:46:52,026 --> 00:46:53,680
I realized that all that time,
793
00:46:53,723 --> 00:46:58,772
I had been pushing down
a really strong urge to see you.
794
00:46:58,816 --> 00:47:00,948
You know? And now I can see you.
795
00:47:00,992 --> 00:47:03,559
And I just wanna hear
everything about you.
796
00:47:03,603 --> 00:47:06,780
I want you to just speak at me.
I wanna soak up all your words.
797
00:47:06,824 --> 00:47:09,304
I wanna swim in them.
I can tell you about me.
798
00:47:09,348 --> 00:47:11,219
I'’ve been touring in a band.
799
00:47:11,263 --> 00:47:12,960
There'’s like--
There'’s 32 of us.
800
00:47:13,004 --> 00:47:14,614
Uh, it'’s mainly flutes.
801
00:47:14,657 --> 00:47:16,659
We have a lot of flutes
and only two non-flutes.
802
00:47:16,703 --> 00:47:18,792
I'’m one of the non-flutes.
I'’m a tambourine.
803
00:47:18,836 --> 00:47:21,099
We do like
rhythm-based music
804
00:47:21,142 --> 00:47:24,232
and like a couple
of AC/DC covers. Yeah.
805
00:47:27,975 --> 00:47:29,716
I don'’t know if you're aware,
806
00:47:29,759 --> 00:47:32,545
but that song I wrote you
actually made me kind of famous
807
00:47:32,588 --> 00:47:34,503
- for about a week.
- I'’m aware.
808
00:47:34,547 --> 00:47:35,940
It was such a catchy tune.
809
00:47:35,983 --> 00:47:37,724
I'’ve tried to write songs
to dump other girls,
810
00:47:37,767 --> 00:47:39,117
but none of them have
taken off.
811
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:41,684
You know, Oliver,
dumping girls by song
812
00:47:41,728 --> 00:47:43,599
isn'’t really
the most considerate method.
813
00:47:43,643 --> 00:47:45,863
I find it really clarifies--I'’m still talking.
814
00:47:45,906 --> 00:47:49,127
I find it really pins down--You really hurt my feelings.
815
00:47:50,389 --> 00:47:52,043
Oh, I didn'’t mean to.
816
00:47:55,481 --> 00:47:57,657
And despite that...
817
00:47:57,700 --> 00:48:00,616
my current
life circumstances dictate
818
00:48:00,660 --> 00:48:02,227
that we go out together again.
819
00:48:02,270 --> 00:48:04,055
So...
820
00:48:04,098 --> 00:48:06,709
would you like
to go out with me?
821
00:48:06,753 --> 00:48:09,451
You mean like
boyfriend-girlfriend?
822
00:48:09,495 --> 00:48:11,279
Yep.
823
00:48:11,323 --> 00:48:13,194
Sure. Yeah, yeah.
824
00:48:19,287 --> 00:48:21,507
This is fun.
825
00:48:21,550 --> 00:48:23,901
Yeah. It'’s really fun.
826
00:48:27,426 --> 00:48:29,254
But like all good things,
827
00:48:29,297 --> 00:48:31,647
it must come to an end eventually.
828
00:48:31,691 --> 00:48:34,389
So it is with deep regret
829
00:48:34,433 --> 00:48:36,914
that I must
end this relationship.
830
00:48:36,957 --> 00:48:39,220
But we just started going out.
831
00:48:39,264 --> 00:48:40,743
But something changed.
832
00:48:40,787 --> 00:48:43,746
In the last 20 seconds?
Was it something I said?
833
00:48:43,790 --> 00:48:47,098
It was something you did
a long time ago.
834
00:48:47,141 --> 00:48:49,187
But it'’s okay now.
835
00:48:49,230 --> 00:48:51,929
Goodbye, Oliver.
836
00:48:51,972 --> 00:48:54,627
I didn'’t feel bad
about dumping Oliver.
837
00:48:54,670 --> 00:48:56,455
Maybe that means I'’m changing.
838
00:48:56,498 --> 00:48:59,240
Or maybe it'’s because
he publicly humiliated me
839
00:48:59,284 --> 00:49:01,025
by writing that song.
840
00:49:01,068 --> 00:49:03,331
When I look back
over those old phone calls,
841
00:49:03,375 --> 00:49:05,986
I think it was Oliver
who did most of the talking.
842
00:49:06,030 --> 00:49:08,728
He should have given my mom
money for those phone bills.
843
00:49:11,122 --> 00:49:12,993
Goodbye, Oliver.
844
00:49:13,037 --> 00:49:14,864
I don'’t blame you anymore.
845
00:49:14,908 --> 00:49:18,868
I'’m glad I was the most
inspiring person you dumped.
846
00:49:18,912 --> 00:49:20,566
Only 10 exes to go.
847
00:49:20,609 --> 00:49:22,481
I hope I can
get them dumped in time
848
00:49:22,524 --> 00:49:25,310
for the science prize deadlineWILBUR: Just one more errand.
849
00:49:25,353 --> 00:49:29,096
One more errand?
This is like child labor.
850
00:49:29,140 --> 00:49:32,230
I'’m here to pick up something.
851
00:49:32,273 --> 00:49:33,796
Surname is Asquith-Lacey.
852
00:49:39,367 --> 00:49:41,195
Thank you.
853
00:49:53,207 --> 00:49:55,688
He'’s bought that ring for her.
854
00:49:55,731 --> 00:49:57,603
Are they going to get married?
855
00:50:06,873 --> 00:50:10,007
I can'’t believe Thomas and that
astronaut are getting married
856
00:50:10,050 --> 00:50:12,444
after knowing each other
only a few weeks.
857
00:50:12,487 --> 00:50:17,101
I guess that'’s what happens
when two dumpers get together.
858
00:50:17,144 --> 00:50:19,581
They just live
happily ever after.
859
00:50:19,625 --> 00:50:22,106
Every day is like
a perfume commercial.
860
00:50:22,149 --> 00:50:24,064
Well, not this time.
861
00:50:24,108 --> 00:50:27,546
I refuse to be celibate
and make decorative candles
862
00:50:27,589 --> 00:50:28,851
for the rest of my life.
863
00:50:28,895 --> 00:50:30,810
This wedding cannot happen.
864
00:50:30,853 --> 00:50:33,856
Thomas,
I'’m gonna dump you next.
865
00:50:33,900 --> 00:50:36,903
I just need to be
strategic about this. Clever.
866
00:50:36,946 --> 00:50:39,340
I need this astronaut
out of the picture.
867
00:50:39,384 --> 00:50:43,127
You could enroll her on a mission to Mars.
868
00:50:43,170 --> 00:50:46,391
Three, two, one, they have lift-off.
869
00:50:46,434 --> 00:50:50,960
And the team, led by Cecilia,
will be away for five years.
870
00:50:51,004 --> 00:50:53,833
I looked into that. It doesn'’t
leave for another four years.
871
00:50:53,876 --> 00:50:56,140
"So your ex is with someone else,
872
00:50:56,183 --> 00:50:59,578
"and she'’s hotter
and more interesting than you.
873
00:50:59,621 --> 00:51:03,451
"You may feel unworthy,
ugly and useless.
874
00:51:03,495 --> 00:51:05,105
"But you need to step up.
875
00:51:05,149 --> 00:51:08,152
"Stop feeling
sorry for yourself.
876
00:51:08,195 --> 00:51:11,285
"Channel your feelings
of jealousy and self-loathing
877
00:51:11,329 --> 00:51:13,113
"into something useful,
878
00:51:13,157 --> 00:51:15,768
"devising ways
to sabotage their relationship
879
00:51:15,811 --> 00:51:18,379
and reinsert yourself
into his life."
880
00:51:23,167 --> 00:51:24,864
So I'’ve dumped two of my exes.
881
00:51:24,907 --> 00:51:27,519
Now it'’s Thomas' turn.
882
00:51:27,562 --> 00:51:29,129
I need your help.
883
00:51:29,173 --> 00:51:32,045
Perhaps I could introduce you
to someone else instead.
884
00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:34,787
Someone who might
like you more than Thomas.
885
00:51:34,830 --> 00:51:37,311
My friend Roland.
He was number three
886
00:51:37,355 --> 00:51:39,487
on Scientist Today'’s
Most Eligible Bachelor list.
887
00:51:39,531 --> 00:51:42,490
You don'’t know how old I am, but
I'’m not going out with a boy.
888
00:51:42,534 --> 00:51:44,797
He'’s a grown-up.
He'’s 34 years old.
889
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:46,538
And somewhat of a genius.
890
00:51:46,581 --> 00:51:49,889
You could meet him at an event
which Thomas was going to
891
00:51:49,932 --> 00:51:52,500
with the aim
of making Thomas jealous.
892
00:51:54,633 --> 00:51:57,244
- That'’s quite a good plan.
- Thank you.
893
00:52:35,282 --> 00:52:38,807
- How do I look?
- Uh, perfectly acceptable.
894
00:52:38,851 --> 00:52:43,203
The eligible man
is due to arrive in 30 seconds.
895
00:52:43,247 --> 00:52:45,379
When Thomas sees you
with this eligible man,
896
00:52:45,423 --> 00:52:46,859
he will become very jealous.
897
00:52:46,902 --> 00:52:49,644
At which point,
you will go and ask him out.
898
00:52:49,688 --> 00:52:51,907
Ah, right on schedule.
899
00:52:58,131 --> 00:52:59,524
Thank you.
900
00:53:00,873 --> 00:53:02,962
Uh, Frankie, this is Roland.
901
00:53:03,005 --> 00:53:04,572
Roland, this is Frankie.
902
00:53:06,574 --> 00:53:08,141
Nice to meet you. Uh...
903
00:53:10,535 --> 00:53:13,233
Could I just
speak to you for a moment?
904
00:53:13,277 --> 00:53:14,713
About what?
905
00:53:14,756 --> 00:53:18,064
Uh, if you could
just excuse us for a minute.
906
00:53:18,107 --> 00:53:19,500
Thank you.
907
00:53:21,807 --> 00:53:24,810
Please tell me that
that is not the eligible man,
908
00:53:24,853 --> 00:53:27,247
the one who Thomas
is supposed to be jealous.
909
00:53:27,291 --> 00:53:29,118
- It is.
- Uh, no, no, no.
910
00:53:29,162 --> 00:53:31,947
He does not look right.
He'’s not eligible.
911
00:53:31,991 --> 00:53:34,472
A Nobel Prize nominee
isn'’t eligible?
912
00:53:34,515 --> 00:53:37,649
A mere 10 people a year win
them out of the entire world,
913
00:53:37,692 --> 00:53:39,216
making Roland in the top
914
00:53:39,259 --> 00:53:43,829
0.0000001 percent
of human beings.
915
00:53:44,917 --> 00:53:46,135
Oh, God, there'’s Thomas.
916
00:53:46,179 --> 00:53:48,007
Roland, nice to see you!
917
00:53:48,050 --> 00:53:51,228
- I didn'’t know you were coming.
-Here for inspiration?
918
00:53:51,271 --> 00:53:53,621
No. On sort of a,
I suppose, date.
919
00:53:53,665 --> 00:53:56,494
Well, there she is.
920
00:53:59,148 --> 00:54:00,280
Oh.
921
00:54:03,457 --> 00:54:04,763
Hello, Frankie.
922
00:54:04,806 --> 00:54:07,809
- What a lovely surprise.
- Yes.
923
00:54:07,853 --> 00:54:09,985
Uh, this is Cecilia.
Cecilia, Frankie.
924
00:54:11,639 --> 00:54:14,686
You'’re a lucky man.
925
00:54:22,737 --> 00:54:24,826
Yeah, I-- I think
I need a drink.
926
00:54:24,870 --> 00:54:27,002
Okay. Yes.
927
00:54:27,046 --> 00:54:28,743
Can I get you one?
928
00:54:28,787 --> 00:54:30,310
That would be lovely.
929
00:54:40,799 --> 00:54:42,757
Hey.
930
00:54:42,801 --> 00:54:44,629
Could I talk to you
just for a minute?
931
00:54:44,672 --> 00:54:46,587
I think I deserve that,
don'’t you think?
932
00:54:46,631 --> 00:54:49,198
That after everything you did,
just tossing me aside
933
00:54:49,242 --> 00:54:51,331
for that woman you met
just a few hours before.
934
00:54:51,375 --> 00:54:53,115
And you sent
your infant brother.
935
00:54:53,159 --> 00:54:55,030
I mean, who sends
their infant brother?
936
00:54:55,074 --> 00:54:57,381
I did say that I wanted
to meet your family,
937
00:54:57,424 --> 00:54:59,818
but that was not what I was
thinking when I said that.
938
00:54:59,861 --> 00:55:02,473
You'’ve had too much to drink.
Let'’s get you a glass of water.
939
00:55:02,516 --> 00:55:05,476
I'’m not thirsty.
I am not thirsty.
940
00:55:10,829 --> 00:55:12,700
I, um...
941
00:55:12,744 --> 00:55:14,180
I came with that man tonight
942
00:55:14,223 --> 00:55:17,357
because I wanted
to make you jealous.
943
00:55:19,577 --> 00:55:21,535
Be-- Because I miss you.
944
00:55:25,147 --> 00:55:27,498
I love you so much.
945
00:55:27,541 --> 00:55:33,504
I'’m sorry, but I just don't feel that way about you anymore.
946
00:55:33,547 --> 00:55:35,810
If you'’re having
problems with drinking,
947
00:55:35,854 --> 00:55:37,290
there'’s a man you should see.
948
00:55:38,813 --> 00:55:41,381
Look after yourself.
949
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:00,182
Yeah.
950
00:56:09,888 --> 00:56:11,063
Uh...
951
00:56:17,765 --> 00:56:19,898
What is that?
952
00:56:19,941 --> 00:56:21,813
Uh, this is Einstein.
953
00:56:21,856 --> 00:56:27,340
It'’s a gift from Roland for
introducing him to a... female.
954
00:56:30,952 --> 00:56:33,085
- You are the female.
- Yes.
955
00:56:37,568 --> 00:56:41,354
I wonder which ancestor of mine
gave me this gene?
956
00:56:41,398 --> 00:56:44,575
I know it was one of them.
957
00:56:44,618 --> 00:56:47,752
Someone ruined things
for all their descendants.
958
00:56:49,580 --> 00:56:51,233
If I don'’t get rid of it,
959
00:56:51,277 --> 00:56:53,105
my children
and my children'’s children
960
00:56:53,148 --> 00:56:55,281
will have
disastrous love lives.
961
00:56:55,324 --> 00:56:57,414
I can'’t let that happen.
962
00:56:59,024 --> 00:57:00,982
If I can dump Gary, who'’s dead,
963
00:57:01,026 --> 00:57:04,029
then surely I can dump Thomas,
who'’s alive and well.
964
00:57:04,072 --> 00:57:07,511
Whilst every scholar endeavors to do his very best,
965
00:57:07,554 --> 00:57:09,687
there are many examples
from this school
966
00:57:09,730 --> 00:57:11,906
of attainments beyond,
and I say this
967
00:57:11,950 --> 00:57:13,473
with considerable pride.Hey.
968
00:57:13,517 --> 00:57:18,565
Beyond the reach of mortal
men. I mention the...
969
00:57:18,609 --> 00:57:21,481
Thomas is getting hypnosis to quit smoking.
970
00:57:21,525 --> 00:57:23,962
Yes, he gave me the same card.
971
00:57:24,005 --> 00:57:27,748
And he gave these cards
to Granny, Mom and Uncle Robert.
972
00:57:27,792 --> 00:57:29,837
He won'’t stop going on
about how effective it is.
973
00:57:29,881 --> 00:57:32,753
Well, I say we implant
an idea in Thomas'’ brain.
974
00:57:32,797 --> 00:57:36,235
Isn'’t that illegal and amoral?
975
00:57:36,278 --> 00:57:39,934
It'’s no more amoral than
sending a child to dump someone.
976
00:57:39,978 --> 00:57:41,501
Look, this is the plan.
977
00:57:41,545 --> 00:57:44,504
You distract this Dr. Blakely,
978
00:57:44,548 --> 00:57:46,288
and then I get into
Thomas'’ treatment room
979
00:57:46,332 --> 00:57:48,029
and I get access
to his subconscious
980
00:57:48,073 --> 00:57:51,293
and I implant the idea that
he is madly in love with me.
981
00:57:51,337 --> 00:57:53,252
I'’m not sure
the science prize committee
982
00:57:53,295 --> 00:57:55,907
will approve of illegal methods.
983
00:57:55,950 --> 00:57:57,822
Isn'’t there something you want?
984
00:57:57,865 --> 00:58:00,607
Could put a little thing
in there for you too.
985
00:58:00,651 --> 00:58:02,827
A little something-something.
Nothing at all?
986
00:58:02,870 --> 00:58:05,307
Um, well,
I would quite like to know
987
00:58:05,351 --> 00:58:07,396
- what I'’m getting for Christmas.
- I could do that.
988
00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:09,703
Ask him to get me
the new Space Voyagerseries,
989
00:58:09,747 --> 00:58:11,836
The Interstellar Mission.
I know he'’s definitely not.
990
00:58:11,879 --> 00:58:14,534
- Okay, fine.
- On Blu-ray.
991
00:58:14,578 --> 00:58:15,796
Perfect.
992
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:17,406
I'’d quite like a new telescope.
993
00:58:17,450 --> 00:58:18,669
Oh, perhaps a new hat.
994
00:58:18,712 --> 00:58:23,064
And he could be
a tad nicer to me.
995
00:58:23,108 --> 00:58:25,893
You deserve that. Absolutely.
996
00:58:25,937 --> 00:58:29,157
Thomas is due
to park here at 9:43.
997
00:58:29,201 --> 00:58:32,726
He'’s usually 7.2 minutes late
to all engagements.
998
00:58:32,770 --> 00:58:34,554
He'’ll arrive at 9:50.
999
00:58:34,598 --> 00:58:36,556
Once inside the building,
1000
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:40,299
he'’ll spend three minutes
flirting with the receptionist.
1001
00:58:40,342 --> 00:58:43,911
At 9:59, you will arrive
for your appointment.
1002
00:58:46,914 --> 00:58:48,960
Uh, Roberta Wilkins.
1003
00:58:49,003 --> 00:58:50,439
You will spend four minutes
1004
00:58:50,483 --> 00:58:53,094
filling out a new client card.
1005
00:58:53,138 --> 00:58:56,097
I will arrive at 10:06.
1006
00:58:56,141 --> 00:58:58,317
Uh, Robert Plant.
1007
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:01,233
It will take
approximately 37 seconds
1008
00:59:01,276 --> 00:59:03,104
for Thomas to go under.
1009
00:59:03,148 --> 00:59:05,019
At 11 minutes past 10:00,
1010
00:59:05,063 --> 00:59:07,935
David will leave Thomas'’ room
and come to your room.
1011
00:59:07,979 --> 00:59:11,852
Today I'’m going to be teaching
you how to use your mind.
1012
00:59:11,896 --> 00:59:15,552
He will spend 2.3 minutes
discussing with you
1013
00:59:15,595 --> 00:59:18,032
what you want to achieve
during your ten sessions.
1014
00:59:18,076 --> 00:59:22,646
Using the powerful
mind-body connection.
1015
00:59:22,689 --> 00:59:24,256
Connection.
1016
00:59:24,299 --> 00:59:27,389
At 10:23,
David will come to my room.
1017
00:59:27,433 --> 00:59:30,392
He will go through
the same rigmarole.
1018
00:59:30,436 --> 00:59:33,221
Picture yourself
standing in your living room.
1019
00:59:33,265 --> 00:59:36,007
You reach for your phone.
1020
00:59:36,050 --> 00:59:38,400
You call a friend.
1021
00:59:38,444 --> 00:59:42,274
You tell them
how effective hypnosis has been
1022
00:59:42,317 --> 00:59:46,104
and you give them
our phone number...
1023
00:59:46,147 --> 00:59:51,457
0207-946-0327.
1024
00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:55,374
At 10:34, David will
go to the back office
1025
00:59:55,417 --> 00:59:56,636
to play online poker.
1026
00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:58,072
You will have six minutes
1027
00:59:58,116 --> 00:59:59,857
to implant the idea
in his brain
1028
00:59:59,900 --> 01:00:03,643
that he is madly in love
with you before David returns.
1029
01:00:03,687 --> 01:00:07,255
Then we will exit the building,
mission accomplished.
1030
01:00:14,045 --> 01:00:17,439
Thomas, can you hear me?
1031
01:00:19,224 --> 01:00:20,442
- Yes.
- I want you
1032
01:00:20,486 --> 01:00:21,879
to go back out with Frankie.
1033
01:00:21,922 --> 01:00:26,666
Because she is a very,
very wonderful person.
1034
01:00:30,061 --> 01:00:32,063
No, don'’t want to.
1035
01:00:32,106 --> 01:00:35,327
She has this weird job.
1036
01:00:35,370 --> 01:00:38,504
She works
in instruction manuals.
1037
01:00:38,547 --> 01:00:41,376
Doesn'’t have many friends.
1038
01:00:41,420 --> 01:00:44,510
And she really shouldn'’t
wear that silly orange hat,
1039
01:00:44,553 --> 01:00:46,555
the one that looks
like a croissant.
1040
01:00:46,599 --> 01:00:48,296
Can'’t take somebody serious
1041
01:00:48,340 --> 01:00:50,298
if they'’ve got
a croissant on their head.
1042
01:00:50,342 --> 01:00:54,607
And she has quite bad posture.
1043
01:00:54,651 --> 01:00:58,176
Can'’t use chopsticks, ate her
sushi with a knife and fork.
1044
01:00:58,219 --> 01:01:00,134
She has a single bed.
1045
01:01:00,178 --> 01:01:02,223
I mean, who has a single bed?
1046
01:01:12,103 --> 01:01:15,019
You are going to crawl around
on the floor like a rat.
1047
01:01:16,281 --> 01:01:17,935
Get on the floor.
1048
01:01:17,978 --> 01:01:23,244
Like a filthy, ugly, dirty rat
that you are!
1049
01:01:23,288 --> 01:01:25,899
Crawl, rat! Crawl!
1050
01:01:27,466 --> 01:01:30,164
Stupid! Eat couch, little rat!
1051
01:01:33,254 --> 01:01:34,691
Roll on your back, rat!
1052
01:01:38,651 --> 01:01:41,436
Thomas. Thomas, please,
just let me explain!
1053
01:01:41,480 --> 01:01:43,656
Please, I was just
trying to reach you.
1054
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:46,180
That part of you that
used to love me, and I--
1055
01:01:46,224 --> 01:01:48,792
And you-- Stay away from me!
1056
01:01:50,402 --> 01:01:53,666
You humiliated me in front
of a medical professional!
1057
01:01:57,191 --> 01:01:58,932
Well, you left me no choice!
1058
01:02:06,157 --> 01:02:08,028
- Frankie Browne?
- Yes?
1059
01:02:09,943 --> 01:02:12,163
- What'’s this?
- It'’s a restraining order.
1060
01:02:12,206 --> 01:02:16,645
Section five, Protection
From Harassment Act 1997.
1061
01:02:16,689 --> 01:02:18,865
Making any contact
with the complainant
1062
01:02:18,909 --> 01:02:21,955
is strictly prohibited,
unless you want to get arrested.
1063
01:02:24,262 --> 01:02:27,395
How dare Thomas dislike 47 things about me
1064
01:02:27,439 --> 01:02:29,746
and issue a restraining order.
1065
01:02:29,789 --> 01:02:31,617
I am trying to improve my life,
1066
01:02:31,660 --> 01:02:33,924
and the least he can do
is let me dump him
1067
01:02:33,967 --> 01:02:35,795
without too much hassle.
1068
01:02:43,324 --> 01:02:46,545
The science prize deadline
is in one week.
1069
01:02:46,588 --> 01:02:50,157
That means
dumping 1.4 men a day.
1070
01:02:50,201 --> 01:02:52,116
I need a plan,
and one that works
1071
01:02:52,159 --> 01:02:54,553
from a distance of 300 yards,
1072
01:02:54,596 --> 01:02:57,730
because that'’s the closest
I can go to Thomas.
1073
01:02:57,774 --> 01:03:01,342
I need to knock these men out
of my life once and for all.
1074
01:03:02,822 --> 01:03:05,433
Hey, hey.
1075
01:03:05,477 --> 01:03:07,174
It is time to ramp up the plan.
1076
01:03:07,218 --> 01:03:09,829
What if I told you we could
dump every single person
1077
01:03:09,873 --> 01:03:11,744
we'’ve been out with
in just one night?
1078
01:03:11,788 --> 01:03:14,529
- One night?
- Yes, a sort of dumpathon.
1079
01:03:14,573 --> 01:03:16,096
We would contact our exes,
1080
01:03:16,140 --> 01:03:18,533
pretending that we work
for a sweepstake company.
1081
01:03:18,577 --> 01:03:21,928
And we would tell them that
they had won £5 million,
1082
01:03:21,972 --> 01:03:24,801
and all they needed to do
was collect it in person.
1083
01:03:24,844 --> 01:03:27,499
And then we would have
trapped them in one place.
1084
01:03:27,542 --> 01:03:29,762
We would lock them in this room
1085
01:03:29,806 --> 01:03:32,765
and then we would say that they
had to go out with us again.
1086
01:03:32,809 --> 01:03:34,854
And then we would dump them.
1087
01:03:38,510 --> 01:03:41,818
So you mean
like a mass kidnapping?
1088
01:03:43,167 --> 01:03:44,385
It'’s kind of...
1089
01:03:44,429 --> 01:03:47,824
Yes. Yes.
1090
01:03:47,867 --> 01:03:50,914
- We could be in jail by 3:00.
- But by the next day,
1091
01:03:50,957 --> 01:03:53,090
you'’re saying
we'’d be free of the gene
1092
01:03:53,133 --> 01:03:58,269
and able to get on with
our lives and... And find love?
1093
01:03:58,312 --> 01:03:59,879
Right, yes.
1094
01:04:03,274 --> 01:04:05,232
That'’s a fantastic idea!
1095
01:04:06,320 --> 01:04:07,626
Stockholm syndrome.
1096
01:04:07,669 --> 01:04:09,323
That'’s beautiful!
Yes!
1097
01:04:09,367 --> 01:04:10,890
Very time-effective.
1098
01:04:12,283 --> 01:04:13,588
- Let'’s do it!
- Okay.
1099
01:04:13,632 --> 01:04:15,373
Okay, sit.
1100
01:04:16,591 --> 01:04:18,550
Hello?
1101
01:04:20,639 --> 01:04:21,858
Hello?
1102
01:04:21,901 --> 01:04:23,337
Ah, hello,
1103
01:04:23,381 --> 01:04:24,643
is that Amanda Pocklington?
1104
01:04:24,686 --> 01:04:26,732
April Fletchley.
1105
01:04:26,775 --> 01:04:28,908
- Norris Peake?
- I'’m calling
1106
01:04:28,952 --> 01:04:31,215
from the Golden Envelope
Prize Draw Company.
1107
01:04:31,258 --> 01:04:35,741
We'’ve picked your name out of
the friends of the RSPCA list.
1108
01:04:35,784 --> 01:04:39,005
I'’ve just called to tell you
that you have won...
1109
01:04:39,049 --> 01:04:41,007
Five million pounds.
1110
01:04:41,051 --> 01:04:42,922
-How did I enter this?
- The supermarket.
1111
01:04:42,966 --> 01:04:44,793
It'’s absolutely unbelievable!
1112
01:04:44,837 --> 01:04:48,928
Yeah, it'’s pretty unbelievable,
but you'’ve definitely won.
1113
01:04:48,972 --> 01:04:51,496
And all you have to do
to collect your prize is...
1114
01:04:51,539 --> 01:04:54,412
Is come to the Hotel Champres...
1115
01:04:54,455 --> 01:04:56,283
On the 22nd of May.
1116
01:04:56,327 --> 01:04:58,938
Ah, I don'’t think I can make it.
1117
01:04:58,982 --> 01:05:02,333
I'’m planning on proposing
to my girlfriend that day.
1118
01:05:02,376 --> 01:05:04,161
To Cecilia?
1119
01:05:04,204 --> 01:05:06,250
Frankie, is that you?
1120
01:05:08,252 --> 01:05:09,949
No. My name is, um-- Ahem.
1121
01:05:09,993 --> 01:05:11,951
My name is Geraldine...
1122
01:05:11,995 --> 01:05:14,911
Humperdinck. Frankie, you need to move on.
1123
01:05:14,954 --> 01:05:17,478
Let me be happy.
1124
01:05:17,522 --> 01:05:19,132
Um, sorry. Uh, no.
1125
01:05:19,176 --> 01:05:21,178
There'’s no Frankie--
No Frankie here.
1126
01:05:21,221 --> 01:05:22,831
My name'’s not Frankie.
1127
01:05:24,703 --> 01:05:26,966
Guess what?
They'’ve all confirmed!
1128
01:05:27,010 --> 01:05:30,883
Everyone is gonna come
to this one-night event,
1129
01:05:30,927 --> 01:05:32,276
the dumpathon!
1130
01:05:40,066 --> 01:05:41,589
Oh, there she is.
1131
01:05:41,633 --> 01:05:44,418
I am arresting you on suspicion
of section 2A offense
1132
01:05:44,462 --> 01:05:45,854
of stalking, harassment
and violation
1133
01:05:45,898 --> 01:05:47,204
- of a restraining order.
- Oh, please!
1134
01:05:47,247 --> 01:05:50,120
I was just trying
to give him a prize.
1135
01:05:50,163 --> 01:05:51,991
Since when was that a crime?
1136
01:05:59,346 --> 01:06:03,437
Thomas wasn'’t ever
going to let me dump him.
1137
01:06:03,481 --> 01:06:05,918
I imagined myself at age 50,
1138
01:06:05,962 --> 01:06:08,965
still scheming
with a middle-aged Wilbur.
1139
01:06:09,008 --> 01:06:12,359
I mean, God, who was I kidding?
1140
01:06:12,403 --> 01:06:14,274
I wasn'’t born a winner in life.
1141
01:06:14,318 --> 01:06:18,322
And I felt tired of trying
to become somebody else.
1142
01:06:18,365 --> 01:06:20,280
Isn'’t the route to happiness
1143
01:06:20,324 --> 01:06:24,632
supposed to be about accepting
yourself for who you truly are?
1144
01:06:24,676 --> 01:06:27,766
Perhaps I should stop
running from my destiny.
1145
01:06:27,809 --> 01:06:30,769
Maybe carving owls
and collecting stamps
1146
01:06:30,812 --> 01:06:33,380
is going to be
really rewarding and fun.
1147
01:06:33,424 --> 01:06:34,860
And I won'’t miss
1148
01:06:34,903 --> 01:06:37,210
not ever being
in a relationship again.
1149
01:06:37,254 --> 01:06:40,170
Oh, Frankie.
Get me a coffee, would you?
1150
01:06:40,213 --> 01:06:41,910
Milk, two sugars.
1151
01:06:41,954 --> 01:06:44,826
And, uh, tidy your desk a bit.
1152
01:06:46,524 --> 01:06:49,831
I can'’t believe that intern.
It'’s outrageous.
1153
01:06:49,875 --> 01:06:53,487
He'’s not an intern anymore. He'’s a junior manager now.
1154
01:06:53,531 --> 01:06:54,706
Junior manager?
1155
01:07:14,595 --> 01:07:16,119
I have some news about Thomas.
1156
01:07:16,162 --> 01:07:18,338
I don'’t wanna
hear any news about Thomas.
1157
01:07:18,382 --> 01:07:20,645
He'’s going to propose
to Cecilia tomorrow night.
1158
01:07:20,688 --> 01:07:22,255
We have to act fast.
1159
01:07:22,299 --> 01:07:23,822
He doesn'’t want me.
It'’s impossible.
1160
01:07:23,865 --> 01:07:25,084
But we'’ve come so far.
1161
01:07:25,128 --> 01:07:26,955
You absolutely cannot
give up now.
1162
01:07:30,437 --> 01:07:32,657
These are pheromones.
They'’re used in nature
1163
01:07:32,700 --> 01:07:35,573
as a way of attracting a mate.
I got them off Roland.
1164
01:07:51,110 --> 01:07:52,981
You'’d only need
a couple of drops.
1165
01:07:53,025 --> 01:07:54,418
It'’s very potent.
1166
01:07:54,461 --> 01:07:56,507
Roland says it lasts
three to four hours,
1167
01:07:56,550 --> 01:07:58,465
so you'’d need to top it up.
1168
01:07:58,509 --> 01:08:02,252
This should attract
Thomas from three miles away.
1169
01:08:02,295 --> 01:08:05,081
So you won'’t be in violation
of the restraining order.
1170
01:08:08,736 --> 01:08:14,742
♪ Sounds of the rude world
1171
01:08:14,786 --> 01:08:18,181
♪ Heard in the day
1172
01:08:21,488 --> 01:08:24,578
♪ Lull'’d by the moonlight... ♪
1173
01:08:24,622 --> 01:08:27,712
Uh, you'’ll be going on
in one minute.
1174
01:08:29,017 --> 01:08:30,845
Oh, God.
1175
01:08:30,889 --> 01:08:36,721
♪ Beautiful dreamer
1176
01:08:36,764 --> 01:08:41,291
♪ Queen of my song
1177
01:08:42,988 --> 01:08:48,472
♪ List while I woo thee
1178
01:08:48,515 --> 01:08:51,779
♪ With soft melody
1179
01:08:55,000 --> 01:09:00,658
♪ Beautiful dreamer
1180
01:09:00,701 --> 01:09:02,877
♪ Awake
1181
01:09:02,921 --> 01:09:08,753
♪ Unto me
1182
01:09:08,796 --> 01:09:10,363
Thank you. Thank you so much.
1183
01:09:12,322 --> 01:09:15,716
Please put your hands together
for Victorique Rousseau.
1184
01:09:35,258 --> 01:09:39,131
♪ Something'’s gotten Hold of my heart ♪
1185
01:09:39,175 --> 01:09:44,049
♪ Keeping my soul
And my senses apart ♪
1186
01:09:45,877 --> 01:09:49,010
♪ Something'’s gotten
Into my life ♪
1187
01:09:49,054 --> 01:09:50,664
What is she doing here?
1188
01:09:50,708 --> 01:09:54,973
♪ Cutting its way through
My dreams like a knife ♪
1189
01:09:55,016 --> 01:09:56,801
♪ Turning me on
1190
01:09:56,844 --> 01:09:58,803
Frankie,
what are you doing here?
1191
01:09:58,846 --> 01:10:00,848
It'’s a free country.
1192
01:10:00,892 --> 01:10:03,329
♪ Making me smile
1193
01:10:03,373 --> 01:10:07,768
♪ And making me frown It'’s the wrong one. Go!
1194
01:10:19,302 --> 01:10:22,261
- Is there a problem, sir?
- Yes.
1195
01:10:22,305 --> 01:10:25,221
♪ Oh, that was... I have a restraining order
1196
01:10:25,264 --> 01:10:27,223
against this woman,
and she is in violation of it.
1197
01:10:27,266 --> 01:10:31,052
I-- I didn'’t know he was--
He was coming actually.
1198
01:10:31,096 --> 01:10:34,404
Of course she did.
She follows us everywhere.
1199
01:10:34,447 --> 01:10:36,101
Please, come down
from the stage.
1200
01:10:36,144 --> 01:10:38,625
If-- If you just let me
finish the song, please?
1201
01:10:38,669 --> 01:10:40,584
Madam, I need you
to leave the stage immediately.
1202
01:10:40,627 --> 01:10:43,282
♪ Shook my heart... THOMAS: I'’m so sorry.
1203
01:10:43,326 --> 01:10:46,242
♪ Made me want you to stay MANAGER: Call security.
1204
01:10:46,285 --> 01:10:48,679
♪ All of my nights
1205
01:10:48,722 --> 01:10:54,598
♪ And all of my days
1206
01:10:54,641 --> 01:10:56,469
♪ Yeah, I gotta tell you
1207
01:10:56,513 --> 01:10:58,645
♪ That something'’s
Got a hold of my hands ♪
1208
01:10:58,689 --> 01:11:02,040
Thomas.♪ Dragging my soul
1209
01:11:02,083 --> 01:11:04,521
♪ To the beautiful land
1210
01:11:04,564 --> 01:11:07,306
Thomas.♪ Yeah, something
1211
01:11:07,350 --> 01:11:10,701
♪ Has invaded my nights... Wow!
1212
01:11:10,744 --> 01:11:12,703
You are an amazing singer.
1213
01:11:12,746 --> 01:11:15,445
No, she'’s not.
1214
01:11:15,488 --> 01:11:18,230
♪ Changing the gray MANAGER: Oh, my God!
1215
01:11:18,274 --> 01:11:21,059
♪ And changing the blue
1216
01:11:21,102 --> 01:11:23,801
♪ Scarlet for me
1217
01:11:23,844 --> 01:11:26,456
♪ And scarlet for you
1218
01:11:39,860 --> 01:11:45,736
♪ Touch me and my heart Goes astray, yeah ♪
1219
01:11:45,779 --> 01:11:50,871
♪ And baby
1220
01:11:50,915 --> 01:11:56,790
♪ And baby
1221
01:12:01,186 --> 01:12:02,405
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
1222
01:12:05,408 --> 01:12:06,757
Bravo!
Bravo!
1223
01:12:10,064 --> 01:12:15,069
Um, I'’m-- I'm just gonna go
and, uh, check our orders.
1224
01:12:15,113 --> 01:12:18,682
Uh, and I'’ll--
I'’ll get us some more bread.
1225
01:12:26,559 --> 01:12:29,388
That was...
1226
01:12:29,432 --> 01:12:30,868
amazing.
1227
01:12:30,911 --> 01:12:32,913
Great!
1228
01:12:51,323 --> 01:12:55,022
You were amazing out there.
1229
01:12:55,066 --> 01:12:56,850
Just want--Hide!
1230
01:13:00,898 --> 01:13:03,422
So beautiful! Come here!
1231
01:13:09,210 --> 01:13:11,778
I really am ashamed
of my behavior.
1232
01:13:11,822 --> 01:13:13,954
I don'’t know
what I was thinking.
1233
01:13:13,998 --> 01:13:16,174
Perhaps I went mad temporarily.
1234
01:13:16,217 --> 01:13:18,785
You'’re so wonderful.
1235
01:13:18,829 --> 01:13:22,136
And beautiful and sensitive,
1236
01:13:22,180 --> 01:13:23,399
funny and unique.
1237
01:13:25,052 --> 01:13:27,054
I can'’t believe
I ever let you go.
1238
01:13:41,417 --> 01:13:43,462
♪ Well, I'’ve lived
My life alone ♪
1239
01:13:43,506 --> 01:13:45,464
♪ Just crying on my own
1240
01:13:45,508 --> 01:13:49,120
♪ I never had the chance
To make a friend ♪
1241
01:13:49,163 --> 01:13:51,122
♪ Well, baby
That'’s all through ♪
1242
01:13:51,165 --> 01:13:52,993
♪ I'’ve put my faith in you ♪
1243
01:13:53,037 --> 01:13:56,562
♪ And I'’ll be here
Until the bitter end ♪
1244
01:13:56,606 --> 01:14:00,523
♪ Oh, baby
One is a lonely number ♪
1245
01:14:00,566 --> 01:14:03,656
♪ It'’s a number
You can'’t divide ♪
1246
01:14:03,700 --> 01:14:07,791
♪ Yeah, but listen, hon
The number one ♪
1247
01:14:07,834 --> 01:14:11,925
♪ Can be great
When it'’s multiplied ♪
1248
01:14:11,969 --> 01:14:15,842
♪ Two can make it together
1249
01:14:15,886 --> 01:14:19,150
♪ If they try to understand
1250
01:14:19,193 --> 01:14:23,589
♪ Baby
Two can make it together ♪
1251
01:14:23,633 --> 01:14:26,766
♪ We can try
Take my hands, baby ♪
1252
01:14:26,810 --> 01:14:31,118
♪ Two can make it forever
1253
01:14:31,162 --> 01:14:33,381
♪ If they try every day, baby
1254
01:14:33,425 --> 01:14:35,209
- To Frankie!
-To Frankie!
1255
01:14:35,253 --> 01:14:38,212
♪ Two can make it together
1256
01:14:38,256 --> 01:14:45,045
♪ I'’ll be loving you
Every step of the way ♪
1257
01:14:45,089 --> 01:14:47,831
♪ Every step of the way
1258
01:14:49,833 --> 01:14:51,704
♪ Oh, I didn'’t realize ♪
1259
01:14:51,748 --> 01:14:53,750
♪ That love was in your eyes
1260
01:14:53,793 --> 01:14:58,668
♪ I thought you just
Had pity for the man... ♪
1261
01:14:58,711 --> 01:15:01,322
Close your eyes
and put out your hands.
1262
01:15:09,983 --> 01:15:11,507
Open it.
1263
01:15:15,641 --> 01:15:18,252
I'’ve never felt this way before
about anyone in my entire life.
1264
01:15:18,296 --> 01:15:21,386
It'’s like from the moment
I saw you on that stage,
1265
01:15:21,429 --> 01:15:23,301
I was drawn to you
like a magnet.
1266
01:15:25,129 --> 01:15:26,609
I can'’t pull myself away.
1267
01:15:30,047 --> 01:15:31,744
Say yes.
1268
01:15:36,314 --> 01:15:37,924
Please say yes.
1269
01:15:39,665 --> 01:15:40,884
Yes.
1270
01:15:59,990 --> 01:16:02,079
It'’s beautiful.
1271
01:16:13,525 --> 01:16:17,050
You were supposed
to dump him, not marry him.
1272
01:16:17,094 --> 01:16:18,486
I know.
1273
01:16:18,530 --> 01:16:20,053
I know. It'’s just that...
1274
01:16:20,097 --> 01:16:22,795
If you let me explain.
1275
01:16:24,884 --> 01:16:26,886
I really love him.
1276
01:16:29,323 --> 01:16:33,284
That'’s it?
That'’s your entire explanation?
1277
01:16:33,327 --> 01:16:35,503
- Yes.
- You'’re making a fool
1278
01:16:35,547 --> 01:16:36,722
out of yourself.
1279
01:16:36,766 --> 01:16:38,637
As soon as
the pheromones run out,
1280
01:16:38,681 --> 01:16:41,771
- he'’s going to break up with you.
- They don'’t have to run out.
1281
01:16:41,814 --> 01:16:43,642
You could make more.
I could pay you.
1282
01:16:43,686 --> 01:16:45,426
It'’d be like a part-time job.
1283
01:16:45,470 --> 01:16:48,255
And what do you plan to do,
use the pheromones forever?
1284
01:16:48,299 --> 01:16:50,518
For 70 or so years?
1285
01:16:50,562 --> 01:16:52,782
Well, why not?
It'’s good enough for insects.
1286
01:16:52,825 --> 01:16:55,001
I fear that you may
have lost your mind.
1287
01:16:55,045 --> 01:16:56,612
I decline this job offer.
1288
01:16:56,655 --> 01:16:58,570
And I find it
ludicrous and selfish
1289
01:16:58,614 --> 01:17:01,965
that you'’d cancel the experiment
when we'’ve already come so far.
1290
01:17:02,008 --> 01:17:03,575
I-- I know it'’s--
1291
01:17:03,619 --> 01:17:05,490
I don'’t
expect you to understand.
1292
01:17:05,533 --> 01:17:09,102
I mean, you'’re a child.
You'’ve never even kissed a girl.
1293
01:17:09,146 --> 01:17:11,670
What would you possibly
understand about love?
1294
01:17:11,714 --> 01:17:14,804
If being in love causes one
to demean and embarrass oneself
1295
01:17:14,847 --> 01:17:16,588
in the way that you'’re doing,
1296
01:17:16,632 --> 01:17:18,546
then I do not wish
to ever partake in it.
1297
01:17:18,590 --> 01:17:22,202
I want you to know that
you are single-handedly ruining
1298
01:17:22,246 --> 01:17:24,074
humankind'’s scientific progress.
1299
01:17:53,190 --> 01:17:54,408
You'’ve had a jilting?
1300
01:17:54,452 --> 01:17:55,801
They'’ve had a jilting.
1301
01:17:55,845 --> 01:17:58,891
Thank you. 4:00, we will
be there with bells on.
1302
01:17:58,935 --> 01:18:00,588
It'’s booked.
1303
01:18:00,632 --> 01:18:03,156
At 4:00 today,
we'’re getting married.
1304
01:18:03,200 --> 01:18:05,376
Tomorrow morning
we'’re going to pack our bags
1305
01:18:05,419 --> 01:18:07,900
and get on
the first flight to Mexico.
1306
01:18:07,944 --> 01:18:09,206
I love you so much.
1307
01:18:09,249 --> 01:18:10,860
I love you too.
1308
01:18:12,862 --> 01:18:16,735
How could you do this to me?
Why won'’t you answer my calls?
1309
01:18:20,130 --> 01:18:21,914
Cecilia, look, I'’m-- I'm sorry.
1310
01:18:21,958 --> 01:18:23,307
I-- I really like you,
1311
01:18:23,350 --> 01:18:25,396
but I'’m in love
with Frankie now.
1312
01:18:25,439 --> 01:18:27,746
And-- And we really are
in a bit of a rush.
1313
01:18:27,790 --> 01:18:30,401
You'’re in a rush?
You leave me at a restaurant
1314
01:18:30,444 --> 01:18:32,142
and then I find out
you'’re going out with her.
1315
01:18:32,185 --> 01:18:34,144
I love her.
We'’re getting married.
1316
01:18:34,187 --> 01:18:36,102
We really don'’t
have time for this.
1317
01:18:36,146 --> 01:18:37,408
I'’m sorry! I'm sorry!
1318
01:18:37,451 --> 01:18:39,279
She has a restraining order.
1319
01:18:39,323 --> 01:18:41,542
Technically, this is illegal!
1320
01:18:41,586 --> 01:18:44,284
No. We-- We were supposed
to get married.
1321
01:18:44,328 --> 01:18:46,112
I was supposed to be your wife.
1322
01:18:46,156 --> 01:18:49,159
We'’d named our children and...
1323
01:18:49,202 --> 01:18:51,770
What? Where--?
1324
01:18:51,814 --> 01:18:54,425
What--? Wait, wait!
Frankie, Frankie!
1325
01:18:54,468 --> 01:18:56,383
Where are you going?
1326
01:18:56,427 --> 01:18:58,385
There'’s someone I need
to invite to the wedding.
1327
01:18:58,429 --> 01:19:02,041
- See you there at 4:00.
- I'’ll come with-- I'll be there!
1328
01:19:19,493 --> 01:19:22,453
Listen, I'’m... I'm sorry.
1329
01:19:22,496 --> 01:19:25,369
And I came to invite you
to my wedding.
1330
01:19:25,412 --> 01:19:28,546
It'’s at 4:00 this afternoon.
1331
01:19:28,589 --> 01:19:32,158
The paper was retracted
by Scientist Today.
1332
01:19:32,202 --> 01:19:33,986
They had to publish an apology.
1333
01:19:34,030 --> 01:19:37,207
They found some faults
with the study.
1334
01:19:37,250 --> 01:19:39,992
The gene they thought
was the dumpee gene,
1335
01:19:40,036 --> 01:19:44,040
well, it turns out it just
makes proteins for the kidneys.
1336
01:19:45,345 --> 01:19:46,694
What are you talking about?
1337
01:19:46,738 --> 01:19:48,305
That gene doesn'’t affect
1338
01:19:48,348 --> 01:19:50,786
your love life after all.
1339
01:19:50,829 --> 01:19:52,222
What?
1340
01:19:53,353 --> 01:19:55,965
No, you'’re making this up.
1341
01:19:56,008 --> 01:20:00,012
What about all the tests?
And-- And Hugo?
1342
01:20:00,056 --> 01:20:03,494
The tests just confirmed
the gene'’s existence,
1343
01:20:03,537 --> 01:20:05,235
not what its function was.
1344
01:20:05,278 --> 01:20:08,586
And Hugo'’s gene
didn'’t disappear.
1345
01:20:08,629 --> 01:20:12,590
Barnaby spilled the lemonade on
the tester and didn'’t tell me.
1346
01:20:12,633 --> 01:20:18,509
Um, but I'’ve told
all these people about it.
1347
01:20:18,552 --> 01:20:20,511
I mean, almost ten people
know about this
1348
01:20:20,554 --> 01:20:23,209
and they'’ve been trying
to do your theorem.
1349
01:20:25,646 --> 01:20:27,126
I can'’t believe this. If...
1350
01:20:27,170 --> 01:20:29,520
If... No, of course
there'’s a dumpee gene.
1351
01:20:29,563 --> 01:20:31,914
There has to be
a dumpee gene,
1352
01:20:31,957 --> 01:20:34,568
otherwise this has all been
a complete waste of time.
1353
01:20:34,612 --> 01:20:38,007
Not everything
was a waste of time.
1354
01:20:38,050 --> 01:20:39,530
The pheromones worked,
1355
01:20:39,573 --> 01:20:43,055
and further experimentation
may produce a pheromone
1356
01:20:43,099 --> 01:20:46,580
that could help
the plight of the honeybee.
1357
01:20:46,624 --> 01:20:49,757
Oh, well, that'’s great
for the honeybee.
1358
01:20:49,801 --> 01:20:51,194
I am such an idiot.
1359
01:20:51,237 --> 01:20:54,806
I believed the theories
of an 11-year-old child.
1360
01:20:54,850 --> 01:20:56,503
Twelve.
1361
01:21:27,056 --> 01:21:29,710
For 15 years, I devoted my life
1362
01:21:29,754 --> 01:21:32,365
to finding a pattern
of how people love each other.
1363
01:21:32,409 --> 01:21:34,585
I thought a love gene
would predict
1364
01:21:34,628 --> 01:21:37,457
how everyone
forms relationships.
1365
01:21:37,501 --> 01:21:40,678
But there'’s no logic
in the decisions they make.
1366
01:21:40,721 --> 01:21:44,638
And there is no pattern
in people'’s love life.
1367
01:21:49,121 --> 01:21:52,516
All this time, I'’d been trying to fix the thing
1368
01:21:52,559 --> 01:21:53,909
which made me unlovable.
1369
01:21:53,952 --> 01:21:57,434
The gene
that was ruining my life.
1370
01:21:59,218 --> 01:22:02,569
Except that gene
didn'’t actually exist.
1371
01:22:02,613 --> 01:22:06,008
The universe
wasn'’t sabotaging me.
1372
01:22:06,051 --> 01:22:08,967
I had only been
sabotaging myself.
1373
01:22:51,749 --> 01:22:53,011
You look beautiful.
1374
01:22:53,055 --> 01:22:54,534
Thank you.
1375
01:22:54,578 --> 01:22:56,667
I brought a witness.
1376
01:23:03,021 --> 01:23:04,588
Reverend, this is, uh--
This is Frankie.
1377
01:23:04,631 --> 01:23:08,200
A pleasure. Um, are we
expecting anyone else?
1378
01:23:08,244 --> 01:23:09,419
No.
1379
01:23:11,508 --> 01:23:14,076
Right. Uh, well, let'’s make
a start then, shall we?
1380
01:23:14,119 --> 01:23:16,556
Welcome to the historic
Church of St. Barnabus
1381
01:23:16,600 --> 01:23:18,428
on this wonderful occasion.
1382
01:23:18,471 --> 01:23:22,432
We'’ve come together here today
in the presence of God
1383
01:23:22,475 --> 01:23:24,216
to witness the marriage
1384
01:23:24,260 --> 01:23:27,915
of Thomas Henry
Charles Asquith-Lacey
1385
01:23:27,959 --> 01:23:30,614
and Francesca Browne,
1386
01:23:30,657 --> 01:23:32,355
to ask his blessing on them--Sorry.
1387
01:23:32,398 --> 01:23:34,487
- Could I just ask a question?
- Yes.
1388
01:23:34,531 --> 01:23:36,707
Oh, not to you. To Thomas.
1389
01:23:36,750 --> 01:23:38,491
- Ah.
- Give me just a sec.
1390
01:23:38,535 --> 01:23:40,841
- Wha--?
- Sorry.
1391
01:23:40,885 --> 01:23:45,933
It'’s just that we never really
talked about why you dumped me.
1392
01:23:45,977 --> 01:23:48,632
Uh, do-- Do we need
to talk about that now?
1393
01:23:48,675 --> 01:23:50,460
Well, I realize
it isn'’t the ideal time.
1394
01:23:50,503 --> 01:23:52,549
Frankie...
1395
01:23:52,592 --> 01:23:54,899
I made a terrible mistake.
1396
01:23:54,942 --> 01:23:57,554
I love you,
and I want us to be together
1397
01:23:57,597 --> 01:23:59,686
for the rest of our lives.
1398
01:24:04,256 --> 01:24:07,477
- Happy to press on?
- Absolutely.
1399
01:24:07,520 --> 01:24:10,306
Marriage is given
that husband and wife
1400
01:24:10,349 --> 01:24:11,742
may comfort and help each other,
1401
01:24:11,785 --> 01:24:13,396
living faithfully together
1402
01:24:13,439 --> 01:24:15,528
in need and in plenty,
1403
01:24:15,572 --> 01:24:18,009
in sorrow and in joy.
1404
01:24:18,053 --> 01:24:19,576
It is given that--Sorry, um...
1405
01:24:19,619 --> 01:24:22,622
Um, one more minute.
Half a minute even.
1406
01:24:22,666 --> 01:24:24,842
I'’m-- I'm so sorry.
1407
01:24:24,885 --> 01:24:26,322
Sorry, it'’s just that, um,
1408
01:24:26,365 --> 01:24:28,324
you did send
your little brother to dump me.
1409
01:24:28,367 --> 01:24:30,587
And then at
the hypnotist'’s office,
1410
01:24:30,630 --> 01:24:33,024
you said so many things
you disliked about me.
1411
01:24:33,068 --> 01:24:35,548
I love everything about you.
There is nothing I dislike.
1412
01:24:35,592 --> 01:24:37,246
You listed 47 things.
1413
01:24:37,289 --> 01:24:39,291
That was 47 things
that I liked about you.
1414
01:24:39,335 --> 01:24:42,164
No, you-- You said my friends.
You didn'’t like my friends.
1415
01:24:42,207 --> 01:24:45,123
- I love your friends.
- Name one of them.
1416
01:24:45,167 --> 01:24:46,516
Bernie.
1417
01:24:46,559 --> 01:24:48,779
Ernie? B-Bernest?
1418
01:24:48,822 --> 01:24:51,521
The-- The chap from the art
gallery with the glasses.
1419
01:24:51,564 --> 01:24:52,826
He was, um... Roland.
1420
01:24:52,870 --> 01:24:55,568
Yes. Yes.
I-- I found him fascinating.
1421
01:24:57,179 --> 01:24:59,181
Okay? Let'’s, um--
Let'’s get back to it.
1422
01:24:59,224 --> 01:25:01,139
- Come on.
- No, wait.
1423
01:25:01,183 --> 01:25:03,924
It'’s just that I've been using
an elephant drug on you.
1424
01:25:03,968 --> 01:25:05,926
You don'’t really love me.
1425
01:25:07,580 --> 01:25:10,105
You mean the world to me.
1426
01:25:11,236 --> 01:25:12,629
I adore you.
1427
01:25:12,672 --> 01:25:15,632
You adore me
for three to four hours.
1428
01:25:15,675 --> 01:25:17,938
It-- I'’m sorry, Thomas.
1429
01:25:17,982 --> 01:25:20,550
I'’m... I'm sorry
that I forced you to love me.
1430
01:25:20,593 --> 01:25:23,944
But this isn'’t going to work.
It'’s a huge mistake.
1431
01:25:23,988 --> 01:25:25,555
I-- I can'’t marry you.
1432
01:25:25,598 --> 01:25:29,080
I'’m really sorry, Reverend,
for wasting your time.
1433
01:25:29,124 --> 01:25:30,560
No, no, Frankie.
1434
01:25:30,603 --> 01:25:31,822
Of course you can marry me.
1435
01:25:31,865 --> 01:25:33,389
It'’s just last-minutes nerves.
1436
01:25:33,432 --> 01:25:35,260
It'’s normal,
what you'’re experiencing.
1437
01:25:35,304 --> 01:25:37,480
It'’s not normal.
Nothing about this is normal.
1438
01:25:37,523 --> 01:25:39,308
It'’s ridiculous.
I can'’t go ahead with it.
1439
01:25:39,351 --> 01:25:41,527
Frankie, please. Please do not
leave this church. I...
1440
01:25:41,571 --> 01:25:43,660
- Thomas, stop it!
- I adore you.
1441
01:25:43,703 --> 01:25:46,271
We'’re meant to be together.
We'’re the perfect couple!
1442
01:25:46,315 --> 01:25:47,664
No!
1443
01:25:47,707 --> 01:25:49,883
Frankie... Frankie, please, no.
1444
01:25:49,927 --> 01:25:51,450
You are a goddess in my eyes,
1445
01:25:51,494 --> 01:25:54,192
and I hereby
lay down my life for you.
1446
01:25:54,236 --> 01:25:57,152
Frankie. Frankie, I would
walk across hot coals for you.
1447
01:25:57,195 --> 01:25:59,154
I would crawl naked
on my hands and knees
1448
01:25:59,197 --> 01:26:01,895
to the ends of the earth and
back again for you. I love you!
1449
01:26:01,939 --> 01:26:06,204
Oh, thank you for listening
to me talk like a crazy person
1450
01:26:06,248 --> 01:26:08,554
convinced that
this was the guy for me.
1451
01:26:08,598 --> 01:26:10,817
I would pull out
my beating heart, Frankie.
1452
01:26:10,861 --> 01:26:13,211
You'’re right, he's not the one.
1453
01:26:13,255 --> 01:26:14,560
Okay.
1454
01:26:14,604 --> 01:26:16,519
- You are my universe.
- I should, um, go.
1455
01:26:16,562 --> 01:26:18,434
And I love you, Frankie.
1456
01:26:18,477 --> 01:26:21,741
- Bye.
- Bye.
1457
01:26:21,785 --> 01:26:24,918
♪ Roll around on the floor
1458
01:26:24,962 --> 01:26:26,616
♪ You'’re gonna have to say... ♪
1459
01:26:26,659 --> 01:26:29,053
And you claim
we'’re the lowest performing four
1460
01:26:29,096 --> 01:26:30,533
in the whole office?
1461
01:26:30,576 --> 01:26:33,666
You are
the lowest performing four.
1462
01:26:33,710 --> 01:26:35,015
By a very long way.
1463
01:26:37,801 --> 01:26:39,672
Well, we know the real reason,
1464
01:26:39,716 --> 01:26:42,109
and we'’re gonna take you
to an employment tribunal.
1465
01:26:42,153 --> 01:26:44,590
It'’s illegal
to discriminate against people!
1466
01:26:44,634 --> 01:26:46,636
You'’re okay.
You'’ve still got your job.
1467
01:26:46,679 --> 01:26:49,726
You'’d think it was enough that your category of people
1468
01:26:49,769 --> 01:26:51,336
stomp all over us in romance.
1469
01:26:51,380 --> 01:26:53,860
Now you'’re gonna stomp
all over us at work as well.
1470
01:26:53,904 --> 01:26:56,167
What is he talking about?
1471
01:26:56,211 --> 01:26:58,561
You don'’t know what it's like to be born unlovable.
1472
01:26:58,604 --> 01:27:00,824
We can'’t even win at Monopoly!
1473
01:27:00,867 --> 01:27:03,914
Oh, um, could I just interject?
1474
01:27:03,957 --> 01:27:06,569
If these people have been
performing badly,
1475
01:27:06,612 --> 01:27:08,092
it'’s because of me.
1476
01:27:08,135 --> 01:27:09,963
I gave them
some misinformation.
1477
01:27:10,007 --> 01:27:13,097
Sent them
on a wild goose chase.
1478
01:27:13,140 --> 01:27:17,101
You don'’t have the dumpee gene.
I don'’t have it.
1479
01:27:17,144 --> 01:27:19,756
None of you have it.
There is no dumpee gene.
1480
01:27:19,799 --> 01:27:22,149
And there are no categories.
1481
01:27:22,193 --> 01:27:25,327
If anyone should be sacked,
it'’s me.
1482
01:27:25,370 --> 01:27:27,154
Going down.
1483
01:27:33,857 --> 01:27:37,730
Well, looking
on the bright side...
1484
01:27:37,774 --> 01:27:39,689
at least
we don'’t have that gene.
1485
01:27:44,737 --> 01:27:47,174
I was rid of the gene,
1486
01:27:47,218 --> 01:27:49,351
rid of my obsession with Thomas
1487
01:27:49,394 --> 01:27:51,701
and ready to start
a new future.
1488
01:27:51,744 --> 01:27:55,052
My time working in
instruction manuals was over.
1489
01:27:55,095 --> 01:27:58,316
It was time to find a job
I actually liked.
1490
01:27:58,360 --> 01:28:02,015
Perhaps it might involve
foreign travel?
1491
01:28:02,059 --> 01:28:04,235
I would like to see the world.
1492
01:28:04,279 --> 01:28:07,891
Life seemed good
and full of opportunities.
1493
01:28:10,763 --> 01:28:12,939
There was
only one slight problem.
1494
01:28:16,639 --> 01:28:18,641
We had forgotten
about the dumpathon.
1495
01:28:21,165 --> 01:28:23,820
A hundred and twenty-five
of our exes showed up
1496
01:28:23,863 --> 01:28:25,387
to collect £5 million.
1497
01:28:26,823 --> 01:28:28,999
So, what shall we do?
1498
01:28:29,042 --> 01:28:31,784
Fortunately we were able
to handle it with grace
1499
01:28:31,828 --> 01:28:33,656
and it all ended very amicably.
1500
01:28:33,699 --> 01:28:36,006
None of you will be receiving
any prizes tonight
1501
01:28:36,049 --> 01:28:39,139
- because you do not deserve them.
-What?
1502
01:28:39,183 --> 01:28:41,707
You could say
it was more of a forgiveathon.
1503
01:28:41,751 --> 01:28:45,537
Crisps. Uh, you'’re welcome
to as many as you like.
1504
01:28:45,581 --> 01:28:49,149
They didn'’t quite go for the
group hug, which I suggested.
1505
01:28:49,193 --> 01:28:52,675
But it was nice
to catch up all the same.
1506
01:29:12,347 --> 01:29:14,827
It says that pi can never end.
1507
01:29:14,871 --> 01:29:18,004
I don'’t care if you saw
the last number or not.
1508
01:29:18,048 --> 01:29:20,877
Don'’t give me that look.
I know what that look means.
1509
01:29:20,920 --> 01:29:22,487
Pi is infinite.
1510
01:29:22,531 --> 01:29:24,271
I don'’t--Hi.
1511
01:29:24,315 --> 01:29:26,709
- Hi.
- I wanted to come by
1512
01:29:26,752 --> 01:29:28,711
and apologize for what I said
1513
01:29:28,754 --> 01:29:32,932
about you being a child.
I should have said it before.
1514
01:29:32,976 --> 01:29:36,893
Well, that'’s okay.
It'’s also technically true.
1515
01:29:38,764 --> 01:29:41,724
And I'’m sorry
about the science prize.
1516
01:29:41,767 --> 01:29:43,029
Well, a scientist learns more
1517
01:29:43,073 --> 01:29:45,510
from his failures
than his successes.
1518
01:29:45,554 --> 01:29:48,121
But it would have been
nice to win a Nobel Prize.
1519
01:29:48,165 --> 01:29:50,733
And you finally came to
your senses regarding Thomas.
1520
01:29:50,776 --> 01:29:52,909
I did.
1521
01:29:52,952 --> 01:29:55,390
I did. And I sort of
quit my job as well.
1522
01:29:56,913 --> 01:29:58,654
So thank you.
1523
01:30:01,134 --> 01:30:02,309
For everything.
1524
01:30:05,704 --> 01:30:07,140
Thank you.
1525
01:30:07,184 --> 01:30:10,187
I hope to see you
both around sometime soon.
1526
01:30:10,230 --> 01:30:12,798
Well, actually, currently
we'’re looking for a subject
1527
01:30:12,842 --> 01:30:14,626
for this idea of ours.
1528
01:30:14,670 --> 01:30:18,500
- It is mosquito-repelling shoes.
- Hmm.
1529
01:30:18,543 --> 01:30:20,937
- I'’ll think about it.
- What'’s there to think about?
1530
01:30:20,980 --> 01:30:23,461
You don'’t have a job,
so you must have spare time.
1531
01:30:23,505 --> 01:30:27,117
Well, I might want to discover
two and a half countries.
1532
01:30:27,160 --> 01:30:29,119
You can discover
two and a half countries
1533
01:30:29,162 --> 01:30:30,990
after you'’ve helped
cure malaria.
1534
01:30:31,034 --> 01:30:34,211
We have access
to over 3000 mosquitoes
1535
01:30:34,254 --> 01:30:35,952
for the controlled tests.
1536
01:30:50,009 --> 01:30:53,230
♪ So this is
My own goodbye note ♪
1537
01:30:53,273 --> 01:30:56,799
♪ Just like the one
You never wrote ♪
1538
01:30:56,842 --> 01:31:01,107
♪ I only found out after
Months of lies and bluff ♪
1539
01:31:03,458 --> 01:31:06,852
♪ But as
The age-old saying goes ♪
1540
01:31:06,896 --> 01:31:09,986
♪ You always hurt
The one you love ♪
1541
01:31:10,029 --> 01:31:14,817
♪ I guess this means you
Must'’ve loved me very much ♪
1542
01:31:16,993 --> 01:31:20,431
♪ And if you happen upon me
1543
01:31:20,475 --> 01:31:23,826
♪ In the street
Or an ambulance or worse ♪
1544
01:31:23,869 --> 01:31:28,134
♪ You can use your lines
So well dressed and rehearsed ♪
1545
01:31:28,178 --> 01:31:30,006
♪ But not if I ♪ Not if I
1546
01:31:30,049 --> 01:31:33,357
♪ Not if I see you first
1547
01:31:33,400 --> 01:31:36,534
♪ Not if I see you first
1548
01:31:36,578 --> 01:31:38,754
♪ Not if I see you first
1549
01:31:38,797 --> 01:31:43,410
♪ I'’ll see you in hell
Reading chapter and verse ♪
1550
01:32:11,961 --> 01:32:18,924
♪ I'’m not sure when you became
The reason to leave ♪
1551
01:32:18,968 --> 01:32:24,539
♪ After all these years
Of being the reason to stay ♪
1552
01:32:27,324 --> 01:32:30,022
♪ And I'’m not sure
When you became ♪
1553
01:32:30,066 --> 01:32:32,459
♪ The reason to believe
1554
01:32:34,461 --> 01:32:36,463
♪ After all these years
1555
01:32:36,507 --> 01:32:40,555
♪ Of being the reason
Not to pray ♪
1556
01:32:47,866 --> 01:32:49,868
♪ I release you
1557
01:32:51,957 --> 01:32:53,785
♪ I release you
1558
01:32:55,613 --> 01:32:57,789
♪ I release you
1559
01:32:59,225 --> 01:33:03,403
♪ And I release me too
1560
01:33:10,106 --> 01:33:12,674
♪ I'’m not sure
When you became ♪
1561
01:33:12,717 --> 01:33:15,154
♪ The reason to deceive
1562
01:33:17,156 --> 01:33:19,115
♪ After all these years
1563
01:33:19,158 --> 01:33:23,510
♪ Of playing it true
1564
01:33:25,338 --> 01:33:28,254
♪ And not sure
When you became ♪
1565
01:33:28,298 --> 01:33:31,257
♪ The reason to retreat
1566
01:33:32,694 --> 01:33:34,609
♪ After all these years
1567
01:33:34,652 --> 01:33:38,569
♪ Of breaking on through
1568
01:33:42,094 --> 01:33:44,575
♪ I release you
1569
01:33:46,011 --> 01:33:48,187
♪ I release you
1570
01:33:50,102 --> 01:33:51,930
♪ I release you
1571
01:33:53,540 --> 01:33:57,936
♪ And I release me too
1572
01:34:27,574 --> 01:34:30,273
♪ Remember when we shared
That kiss ♪
1573
01:34:30,316 --> 01:34:33,232
♪ First on New Year'’s Eve ♪
1574
01:34:34,669 --> 01:34:36,583
♪ After all those years
1575
01:34:36,627 --> 01:34:40,762
♪ Of unfettered lust
And passion ♪
1576
01:34:42,677 --> 01:34:45,680
♪ And remember
When you became ♪
1577
01:34:45,723 --> 01:34:48,552
♪ My reason for joie de vivre
1578
01:34:59,345 --> 01:35:02,218
♪ But ice gotta melt
1579
01:35:02,261 --> 01:35:05,917
♪ Now I release you
1580
01:35:07,266 --> 01:35:09,399
♪ I release you
1581
01:35:11,227 --> 01:35:15,057
♪ And I release me too
111783
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